#still ship it like fedex

[angelasscribbles]

Listen. I know I say this at the beginning of every chapter, but it's true. Me, when I saw this was up:

What if I cry afterwards? Oh dear God, the horror! 

Oh dear Lord, this had me cackling!!!!

Days ago, Bertrand had looked up several stories online where men described having sex for the first time, and it did nothing to ease his mind. 

I’m gonna need a follow up one-shot, could be a drabble, that show us that!!! Because the mental image is hilarious!

“Bert..” She took his hand and pulled him toward her. “It’s really sweet of you to think of me. And honestly, I took a shower too.. Same reason.”

This is just heart-meltingly sweet!!!

The thought of getting to pleasure her later, sparked even more heat through his body.

Oh….my God!!!! This whole sequence, her being so damn solicitous of his feelings and then offering basically “extra credit”….to him being turned on by that offer…. You just covered fluffy, funny and smutty in one fell swoop!

He looked down shyly. “Yes. A couple days ago. I drove thirty minutes away, parked across the street from the store, wore sunglasses and a baseball cap, and paid in cash.. but I did it.”

OMG……

Bertrand shook his head with a smile. She was teasing him, but he didn’t feel embarrassed. He actually felt more at ease than before.

Oh….he’s comfortable with her now!!! Gah! The fluff, I can’t take it! He’s such a fucking cinnamon roll!!!

She always looked amazing, but he had never seen her look like this before, and his dick responded accordingly.

I’m a little jealous that I never thought up this line. Perfection!

All of it was exhilarating and comforting at the same time. 

Yeah,….because you love her!

The whole sequence is great, but this…this

She closed her eyes, and her plump, pink lips fell open as she gasped.

MUAH!!!

The imagery is just perfect!!!!

Stars swam in front of his eyes and he had to remind himself to breathe. It had all ended so quickly. His body was still trembling when he finally opened his eyes.

My God! That was….that was…..

That had never happened before.

Ohhhhh…..he likes the cuddling after!!

Bertrand couldn't help but wonder if this was what happened after real couples had sex.

Ah, this is sweet and sad at the same time!! Angsty as fuck!

one final thought seeped into his brain and he smiled before drifting off to sleep.

ah, he fell asleep in her bed? I need cuddling!!! Maybe morning sex.....

I am so stoked that it finally happened!!!!!!!

Now I'm going to need them to admit they fucking love each other! Let's go!

Never Have I Ever

Chapter 13 - Bring it Home

Book- TRR

Series- Never Have I Ever

Pairings- Bertrand x MC 

Chapter Synopsis- Bertrand and Riley finally go all the way.

Chapter Warnings- language, sex

Rating - Explicit

Word Count- 2,320

_________________________________

Chapter 13 - Bring It Home

Bertrand stood in front of his bathroom mirror, attempting to give himself a pep talk.

 Chin up, you’ve got this.. Just relax.. Stop worrying about your size or whether or not you’ll last long enough to actually give her an orgasm.. Damn it.. What if I had too much wine and can’t maintain an erection? What if I do something wrong and she laughs at me? What if I vomit from nerves? What if I cry afterwards? Oh dear God, the horror! 

She’s so experienced.. Why does she even want to do this with me, it’s going to be horrible for her!

Days ago, Bertrand had looked up several stories online where men described having sex for the first time, and it did nothing to ease his mind. 

His phone vibrated on the counter, jolting him out of his own head. It was from Riley, telling him she was ready. With one more deep breath, he opened the door and headed to Riley’s room, and into the unknown.

Riley answered the door in a tank top and pajama shorts, golden hair cascading across her shoulders. She smiled as he entered the room, looking him up and down. “Did you change clothes?”

“Oh.. uh.. Yes. I took a shower.”

“Really? You took a shower for me? That’s so cute!”

Bertrand flushed, “Was I not supposed to? I just wanted to make sure I was clean, so that this would be more of a pleasant experience for you, and-”

“Bert..” She took his hand and pulled him toward her. “It’s really sweet of you to think of me. And honestly, I took a shower too.. Same reason.”

He breathed a bit easier knowing that he didn’t do something laughable. He couldn’t bring himself to meet her emerald eyes, no matter how hard he tried. He had never been so nervous in all his life.

Riley sat on the bed. “Do you wanna talk about this first? Do you have any questions or requests?”

He had more questions than he knew what to do with, but instead of speaking, he just shook his head.

She smiled, “I know you well enough to know that you’re in your own head right now. Do you just want me to take the lead, and you tell me if there's something you do or don’t want to do when we get there?”

“That.. would be good.”

She pulled him down onto the bed, so he was seated beside her. “FYI- Don’t worry if you cum early. It’s your first time, so you probably will. All I want you to do is relax and enjoy this, and don’t worry about me.” 

Bertrand swallowed hard, “That makes me feel selfish.”

She smirked, “There are plenty of other ways I can get off later. And you can always help me and get in some extra practice.” 

The thought of getting to pleasure her later, sparked even more heat through his body.

“Oh!” Bertrand suddenly remembered, and awkwardly reached into his pocket, handing her a small packet. “I.. bought condoms.”

“You did?” She was practically beaming. “You actually went into a store and bought condoms?!”

He looked down shyly. “Yes. A couple days ago. I drove thirty minutes away, parked across the street from the store, wore sunglasses and a baseball cap, and paid in cash.. but I did it.”

“I’m so proud of you!” Riley looked at the package and read for a moment, before shaking her head. “Oh.. no, these are the wrong size.”

“I bought the smallest size they had!”

Riley threw her hand over her mouth and stifled a laugh, “No, that’s not it. These are way too small for you. You need a large, at least.”

Bertrand blushed deeply, “A large?! Are you sure?”

“Bert.. yes. You are definitely above average. Definitely. Like, way above average.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!” She chuckled. Riley reached over into her bedside table and pulled out a box, handing it to him. “I bought you some because I never in a million years would have guessed that you would buy them yourself. But you get all the bonus points for taking the initiative!”

Bertrand shook his head with a smile. She was teasing him, but he didn’t feel embarrassed. He actually felt more at ease than before.

“Alright,” Riley made her way across the room. “I’m going to set the mood, and we can get started.” Bertrand watched her light candles and dim the lights, before pulling off her clothes to reveal a red lacy set of bra and panties underneath.

“Holy..” He looked her up and down, only slightly ashamed of himself for being such a cad. She always looked amazing, but he had never seen her look like this before, and his dick responded accordingly.

She sauntered over to him with a wicked grin. “Bert?”

“Y-yes?” He barely managed to get the word out of his parched mouth.

“Kiss me.”

He stood abruptly and immediately obeyed, pressing his mouth to hers with a groan. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he let himself drown in her.. the smell of her skin, the taste and softness of her lips and tongue, her tender, yet confident touch, the sound of her breathing and moans while they kissed fervently.. All of it was exhilarating and comforting at the same time. 

Riley broke the kiss and began working on unbuttoning his shirt, while he started on his belt. His hands were shaking so badly, that he could barely even grip the zipper to lower it. After a moment, only his boxers remained, and Riley shamelessly let her eyes wander across his torso. She bit her lip and let her fingertips trail across his pecs, down his abs, and dip just below his waistline. 

His breath was coming out in ragged pants, and Riley took his hand, leading him over to the bed. With deft hands, she slid his boxers down, and took hold of his hardened length. A couple pumps along his shaft, and he was already trembling beneath her touch. 

“Lay down,” she instructed, and he did just that. She took a condom out of the box, held the package between her teeth and ripped it open. He watched as she slid the condom onto him, rolling it down to the base of his cock. “See? Perfect fit,” she said with a smirk.

Bertrand’s heart was hammering out of control. 

He was about to have sex. He was about to have sex. He was about to have sex!

Riley removed her bra and panties slowly, making sure to give him a long glimpse of her naked body before she climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Bertrand shuddered in anticipation, looking into her eyes.

Riley leaned forward and whispered in his ear, her warm breath sending shivers through him. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” He replied breathlessly.

RIley took hold of his cock, teasing him against her slick entrance, and his body thrummed in anticipation. . Suddenly, it was as if time stopped and nothing else in the universe existed. A guttural moan fell from his lips as she slowly pushed him inside her. He had expected it to feel good, but never could have imagined this. She was so warm, so wet, so tight, and so soft as she slid all the way down to the base of his cock.

“Oh my god.. Bert..” She closed her eyes, and her plump, pink lips fell open as she gasped.

Bertrand was momentarily pulled from his mind blowing bliss. “Are you ok?”

Her eyes flew open and she swallowed hard. “I am fucking fantastic.”

She braced herself against his chest and lifted her hips before sliding all the way back down. Once. Twice. Three times.. 

Bertrand gasped and panted, sure that the sounds coming from him weren’t even human, but that of some kind of feral animal. The pressure inside him was quickly reaching its peak and it had only been a minute or two. 

Riley leaned forward and took his face in her hands, kissing him softly. “You're trembling.”

It took him a moment to realize that indeed he was. His body was shaking like a leaf beneath her. She ran her fingers through his hair and began leaving kisses against his jaw. 

“I’m.. s-sorry..” he managed to get out.

“Don’t be..” She leaned up to kiss his forehead and the friction of her sliding forward on his cock made him gasp loudly. “I want you to let go now.”

“Not yet,” He replied, “It hasn’t been long enough for you!” Or me. He had a feeling that even if he spent 24 hours a day inside of her, it still wouldn’t be long enough for him. 

“Bertrand, I want you to cum. Don’t hold back.” Riley sat up and rolled her hips back and forth and he groaned. 

Her fingernails pressed into his chest and she continued to rock against him. Her perky breasts bounced with each roll of her hips, and it was all too much.The pressure inside of him had reached its blinding peak and he had no choice other than to let go.

“Ohhh, oh god.. oh god!” Bertrand inadvertently thrust up into her as his dick pulsed repeatedly, emptying spurts of warm ejaculate into her. His fingers threaded through hers and he grasped her hands tightly, while the most intense pleasure of his life surged through him.

Stars swam in front of his eyes and he had to remind himself to breathe. It had all ended so quickly. His body was still trembling when he finally opened his eyes.

Riley was biting her lip, smiling with a mixture of pride and lust. “You did so well.”

Bertrand tried to respond, but his mouth was too dry. Riley lifted herself off of him and he instantly missed the feeling of her warmth. She reached over to the bedside table and handed him a bottle of water. 

She pulled the condom off of him and smirked as she held it up. “Wow.. wish that was inside me right now..”

Bertrand choked on a drink of water, and heat surged through him. “W-what?!”

She turned toward him with a rueful grin. “Sorry.. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I'm not saying I want to get pregnant or anything! I’m on the pill! I just meant.. I just like.. Nevermind, I’m going to stop talking now.”

Bertrand smiled. It was nice to see her get flustered for once. 

“So, was it.. Was everything.. Ok?” He asked hesitantly.

She smiled and stroked his arm. “It was great. You were great. How do you feel?”

“Spectacular,” Bertrand replied. Although spectacular didn’t begin to describe it. 

Riley leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, kissing him softly. The kiss felt different than the usual ones they shared before a lesson.. Maybe because these particular kisses came after a lesson.

That had never happened before.

Their lips continued to move together, growing more insistent with each passing second. Riley wrapped her leg around him and scooted herself closer against his body. She pulled back and looked down with a devious grin. “You’re hard again.”

Bertrand’s cheeks flushed pink, “Oh.. yes.”

“We could go again.. If you're up for it?”

What he wanted to do was scream hell yes, but what he actually did was reply calmly, “Yes, I’m up for it.”

This time, Bertrand put the condom on himself and positioned himself on top of her. He was much more nervous in this position because he’d have more control, but more than anything, he wanted to be inside her again. Riley impatiently grabbed his hips and pulled him down, lining him up with her entrance. 

“Fuck me, Bert.” 

The tantalizing command had barely left her perfect lips before he obeyed, pushing slowly inside of her with a groan. Gasps and moans filled the room as they soon found a rhythm. Bertrand was in paradise, and found himself creeping closer to the edge with each thrust.

Emboldened by her moans, he reached his hand down and began rubbing soft circles against her clit. 

Riley gasped, “Yes! That’s it.. Keep doing that.”

The second time being inside of her was just as amazing as the first and he knew he wasn't going to last much longer. “I’m close, Riley..” He panted, “Sorry.. I’m just so close already..”

“Me too,” She breathed out softly, before running her fingers across his back. “Oh god, you feel so good inside me.” Her legs wrapped around his hips, urging him deeper. “Keep going.. Harder!”

Bertrand continued thrusting his hips into her warmth, deeper and faster, all the while circling her clit and suddenly her body tensed. “Yes! Don’t stop!” She dug her nails into his flesh and Bertrand’s body succumbed to the absolutely overwhelming pleasure.. Pleasure that was exponentially enhanced by the fact that he had just given her an orgasm during sex.

The two gasped and moaned and panted, simultaneously chasing their orgasms to completion. 

Bertrand’s arms trembled and he fought to keep himself above her, but Riley pulled him down so he was pressed flush against her bare chest. She wrapped her arms around him while she caught her breath, and Bertrand couldn't help but wonder if this was what happened after real couples had sex.

Even though they weren't a couple and never would be, he let himself indulge in the fantasy for the next ten minutes or so, until they reluctantly separated.

Riley was in the restroom, while Bertrand lay on her bed, attempting to come down from the most incredible night of his life. Lying contentedly on her soft sheets, one final thought seeped into his brain and he smiled before drifting off to sleep.

I’m not a virgin anymore.

[chibifox2002]

Middle school me would be happily flipping their shit if they saw this

I couldn't draw these two (or any character from the show) to save my life

[dumpster-fire-sapphic-failgirl]

Checking in on the Ashoka tag and I’m glad to see I’m not the only disaster that ships Sabine and Shin

[bibleofficial]

if trump actually does put tariffs on fuckin everything that could be very good for america in the long run tbf

[neixins]

wincing painfully as i select the more expensive shipping option on buyee so my package doesn’t end up being delivered by croatian post my nemesis croatian post

[oldtestleper]

all that shit would have never happened if they had followed OSHA guidelines

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

this is a slight detour from your usual subject matter but i'm very curious about your experience renting a high-quality camera lens? how did you go about doing that and have you been pleased with how it worked out? (the changing of hands i mean, it's clear you're happy with the lens!)

i didn't know this was a Thing before and now i'm wondering if i might be able to try that myself!

Oh yeah, it's absolutely the best thing if you can't afford fancy lenses / want to try out new gear / just need something for a special occasion.

There are places you can rent online that will ship you gear, and depending on where you live you can often also rent from local camera stores. I've done both!

Right now my main practice is renting lenses from LensRentals, which is an online company that ships out of Tennessee. They've got pretty reasonable rental prices, and they don't charge a deposit - but you do sign a thing saying if you damage or lose it, they can charge you. You can also pay for insurance on the rentals against damage or loss which would mitigate a lot of that cost if something went wrong. I've heard a range of opinions about them, but I've pretty much always had a good experience with them and gotten stuff on time that worked correctly, and their customer service has been really responsive for me when we had some snafus with shipping stuff back lately. One thing they do that I really like is their system is set up with an option to ship directly to FedEx stores for you to pick up, which means I don't have to worry about a package containing pricey gear getting stolen or rained on.

LensRentals also is willing to let you buy their rental gear, which is what I'm hoping to do before I send the really nice huge telephoto lens I've been using back tomorrow. They'll take some of the price of your rental off the purchase cost - it isn't a ton, but it generally covers sales tax and maybe a little more. I like it as a way to purchase used gear because I can see the condition before I commit, and I've had it in my hands and gotten to use it a bunch. That's how I bought my first real digital camera like a decade ago, and where I got my current camera and starter lenses.

If you've got a local rental store, I absolutely encourage going through them! I've done that when traveling - there have been some times I wanted a specific piece of gear to test on a habitat - and it's worked out really well. Plus, supporting local businesses is always the right choice. They'll often all operate a little differently, but it's nice to know people IRL who can help you decide what gear to use or just nerd out with you. Sometimes local places will ask for some type of deposit to make sure you bring the gear back, and TBH if that's within your budget it's perfectly reasonable.

Unfortunately, the local rental place in my area charges a deposit to your credit card for the entire worth your rental until you bring it home, and my credit limit isn't high enough that I can float a hold for that (e.g. upwards of four thousand dollars for the two lenses I'm using lately) and still be able to, y'know, use my card, so I go with online rentals. It drives me up a wall! I'd really like to support local businesses and minimize shipping costs / carbon emissions.

If you think you'd like to rent some gear to try out, I recommend it! Just make sure you know what's compatible with your camera, you've got a safe way to transport and store the rental when you're not using it, and that you know the terms up front. It's been such a fun way to play around and see what I like and what works well for me.

[creations-by-chaosfay]

Kennel Quilts

Hurricane Helene has left people without homes, and many pets are now in shelters. Kennel quilts are very much needed, and are a low budget option for those with limited supplies and time.

Here's the FB page for Kennel Quilts. If you're on FB, I suggest following them. If you don't use FB, got to the link below to sign up for their mailing list. Emails are sent out only when a kennel quilts are needed.

If you can't make a quilt, but would still like to help, you have the option to donate to Petfinder here.

25 kennel quilts can fit into a medium size USPS flat rate box. These are not large quilts. Here are guidelines and free patterns you can download and use for making these. The finished size is about 12x18 inches, the same size as most placemats. This is the form to print and include with the quilts you finish and donate.

These are shelters listed in the various emails I receive from Kennel Quilts:

Humane Society of Sarasota County 2331 15th Street Sarasota, FL 34237

Cat Depot, Inc. 2542 17th Street Sarasota FL 34234

SPCA Florida 5850 Brannen Road S. Lakeland, FL 33813 Attn: Shelley Thayer

Suwannee Valley Humane Society 1156 S E Bisbee Loop Madison, FL 32340

Appalachian Highlands Humane Society 2101 W. Walnut Street Johnson City, TN 37604

Friends of Greeneville-Greene County TN Humane Society 400 N. Rufe Taylor Road Greeneville, TN 37745-2030

Asheville Humane Society 14 Forever Friend Lane Asheville, NC 28806 Attn: Jessica Moore

Humane Society of Valdosta Lowndes County 1740 W. Gordon Street Valdosta, GA 31601

Forsyth Humane Society 4881 Country Club Road Winston-Salem, NC 27104

Watuaga Humane Society has two shipping option:

For USPS: Watuaga Humane Society PO Box 1835 Boone, NC 28607 For UPS or Fedex: Watuaga Humane Society 312 Paws Way Boone, NC 28607

Alaqua Animal Refuge 155 Dugas Way Freeport, FL 32439-3357

Peyton Davis Humane Society of Pinellas 3040 State Route - 590 Clearwater, FL 33759

Gulf Coast Humane Society 2010 Arcadia Street Fort Myers, FL 33916 Attn: Lori Burke

Hope for Brevard 1465 Cypress Avenue Melbourne, FL 32935

[zara-post-14]

Confession time...

THE 3 SHIPS I SHIPPED IN THE FIRST BOOK

1- Dex x Marella 😮‍💨

2- Stina x Dex 🤭 (Still kinda do)

3- Keefe x Biana (Although I mostly just saw these two as siblings)

The 3 PEOPLE MY BEST FRIENDS SHIPPED IN NEVERSEEN

1- Tam x Biana 🤔

2- Dex x Linh 🧐

3- Sandor x Gisela 😊

THE 3 SHIPS I SHIP SINCE GETTING TUMBLR

1- Fedex (Dex x Fitz) I mean...Can you blame me? 💙

2- Marelih (Marella x Linh) I kinda shipped them before this app, but getting it made me realize just how adorable these two are! 😊

3- Keefeitz (Keefe x Fitz) The whole "Best friends to Lovers" thing isn't my most favorite scenario, but these two are an exception. Although if this happened in the book, I don't know how I would feel. (Because of Sokeefe🩵🤎)

I just like reading the fanfiction of Fedex and Keefeitz! But if Marelinh became canon I would be overjoyed to say the least.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

To this day. There has never been a ship that I was sold on immediately like Kai and Jinora.

Jinora Litterally says ONE THING to Kai and boom!

I’m shipping it like FedEx. Other ships it took longer. But damn that one still hits

[angelasscribbles]

Yeeeeee!!!! Bertrand smut!!!!!!

Let's goooooooo

“Did you run?” She asked with a smirk.

Hell yes he did

What if I finish in your mouth by accident? What if you become disgusted by me and then … and then.. You.. don’t want to do any of this anymore.”

Oh, my poor sweet baby! <- Never in the history of ever did I think I would be saying such a thing about Bertrand Beaumont, but here we are and that's on you. 🤣🥰🤗🔥🤷‍♀️(so many mixed emotions lol)

He had seen her naked three times and Liam hadn’t even once.

This is like sweet and sad and funny all at the same time!!

Riley dropped her towel and Bertrand gasped, whispering to himself, “Four times.”

“What?” She grinned as she made her way closer to where he was sitting on the bed.

“Nothing!” He flushed.

.....and I'm dead. You killed me.

“No,” Riley gave him a coy smile. “I just like to see you without your shirt on.”

I mean, with that FC for him, who can blame her?

Bertrand’s entire being was trembling as he lowered his body onto the bed in preparation.

“Oh my God!” Riley said breathlessly as she looked at him in surprise. “That was.. That was.. Fuck!”

I mean yes, Riley, yes.....I may need a cold shower now.....

“I prefer to call it studying.” He grinned, “I have always strived to be a model student.”

A+

“Right.” Riley nodded, even though her heart sank. “I’ll be there in a few.”

Ya know, if he had actually had a conversation with his brother about his feelings, Max could have told him that Riley isn't interested in Liam like that. But noooooo.

That's okay, it gives us more angst this way and that stuff is delicious!

I think we all know what comes next....

I cannot WAIT to see how they both react to the other one around a perceived rival (aka Savannah and Liam!!)

Riley be like....

and also...

Okay, ready for the next one!

Never Have I Ever

Chapter 7 - Third Base

Book- TRR

Series- Never Have I Ever

Pairings- Bertrand x MC 

Chapter Synopsis- The Beaumonts spend some time at Applewood, and Riley and Bertrand move on to third base.

Chapter Warnings- language, oral sex

Rating - Explicit, 18+ only

Word Count-  2,910

A/N- I've been trying to keep these chapters relatively short, but this one got away from me

Chapter 7 - 3rd Base

They arrived at Applewood Manor early. Way too early. Bertrand had insisted on them leaving Ramsford at 5 a.m. so they could be the first to arrive.

And indeed they were.

The Beaumonts car pulled under the awning outside of Applewood an hour later, and they entered the lobby, where one employee greeted them nervously. 

“Oh my! Duke Ramsford, we did not expect anyone would arrive yet. Your rooms are almost ready, but in the meantime, would you like to have breakfast in the orchard? The apple trees are in full bloom and the gardens are exquisite. I assure you that our five star chefs will provide a most satisfactory meal for you, Your Grace.”

Riley cut her eyes over at Max and whispered, “Is it always like this? Everyone kissing Bert’s ass while we’re basically ignored?”

Max snickered, “Yep, but honestly I’m all for being under the radar. Means I get to have more fun. Perks of being the spare.”

The staff member led the Beaumonts plus Riley outside onto a gorgeously manicured patio with flowers and apple trees as far as the eye could see. “Holy crap,” Riley exclaimed as she looked around in awe.

Bertrand pinched the bridge of his nose and cleared his throat pointedly at her. 

“I mean..” Riley smiled at the employee, “Thank you very much. This is quite lovely.”

“Of course, my lady.” He bowed to the three guests before heading back inside.

They sat down at a table for a moment, before Riley jumped up anxiously. “I’m sorry, would it be extremely unnoble of me to take a walk in the orchard, Your Grace?” She bowed teasingly at Bertrand and he rolled his eyes.

“I suppose not. Just don’t go too far.”

She chuckled, “Yes, my Lords.”

Maxwell laughed as she headed down the steps and disappeared in the trees. “She’s something, isn’t she?”

Bertrand raised an eyebrow at his younger brother. “Yes.. something.”

Maxwell leaned back in his chair. “Soooo.. What you wanna talk about?”

Bertrand sighed, “Must we talk? We could just sit here in silence and mentally prepare for the day.”

“No way, that's boring.” The birds chirped and a cool breeze swept by as Maxwell tried to think of something to say. “Wanna talk about Riley?”

“No.” Bertrand replied without looking up from his phone, hoping that he wasn’t blushing.

“Ok.. Wanna talk about Savannah? I heard she’s coming tomorrow for the ball.”

Bertrand looked up and arched an eyebrow. “Must we talk about my personal life?”

“Well, aren’t you excited to see her?”

“I suppose.”

Max sighed, “I’m trying to bond with you, bro. We never talk about women! Tell me what you like about Savannah.. Give me something!”

The waiter emerged with a fresh pot of Earl Grey tea and took their breakfast orders. Maxwell ordered Riley several different items so she could choose whatever she wanted when she returned. Once the waiter left, Bertrand cleared his throat. 

“Her eyes.”

“What?” Max looked at him curiously.

“You asked what I like about Savannah. Her eyes.”

“Oohh, now we're getting somewhere! What do you like about them?”

Bertrand rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. “You are way too excited about this, but fine.. the color.” He looked down at his cup of tea and couldn’t help but grin, “They’re my favorite color.. Green. If you look close enough, you can get lost in a sea of sparkling emeralds.”

Bertrand stirred his tea, smiling fondly, and Max let out a soft chuckle. “Pretty sure Savannah has brown eyes.”

Bertrand’s head snapped up and he frowned, “No Maxwell.. I’ve looked into her eyes enough times to know that they are emerald green.”

Max grinned cheekily, “That’s Riley. Riley has green eyes. Savannah’s are brown.”

Riley bounded back up the stairs, taking her seat at the table. She smirked and held open her purse with a grin. “I snagged us some apples for later.” 

“Thief!” Max teased, and Riley laughed, her eyes shimmering green as the grass in the orchard. 

Bertrand stood abruptly and rushed inside the building without a word.

“Shit.. I pissed him off again, didn’t I?” Riley sighed. “I’ll put the apples back.”

“No, it’s not that.” Max shook his head. “He’s just having a hard time accepting something.”

Riley arched an eyebrow and Max stammered, “W-with the estate, I mean! Some, uh, merger didn’t go as planned.”

Riley nodded her head, satisfied, and the two tucked into their breakfast.

_____________________________________________________

Riley spent a relatively boring afternoon catching up with the nobles as they arrived at Applewood. The royal family wouldn’t get there until the next morning, and all the ladies weren’t being catty or competitive with each other the way they were when Liam was around. Olivia was actually being pleasant and invited everyone to a party she arranged on the terrace which would take place after dinner.

But despite everyone actually being friendly, Riley found herself feeling lonely. Lying on the bed in her assigned room, she realized just how few friends she actually had. A couple back home in New York, but she hadn’t spoken to them in over a month. Maxwell was currently her best friend and she had only known him for a few months. She thought of Bertrand as her friend, but did he reciprocate her feelings? She got along with a couple ladies at court, and Drake and Liam were nice enough. She furrowed her brow as she began to think that maybe something was wrong with her. 

Dinner would be served in an hour, but she wasn’t hungry. She took out her phone and scrolled through her texts- some funny memes from Max, dates and times of events from Hana, a couple ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ texts from Liam.. She opened Bertrand’s most recent text and couldn’t help but laugh. It was a photo she sent of herself in a low cut gown that Maxwell had chosen, and the very Bertrand-like response he had given was below: “Lady Riley! Dear God, please tell me that wasn’t the dress you chose! That gown is practically pornographic!”

Riley smiled as an idea hit her. She’d send Bertrand another picture. She pulled off her shirt, barely concealing her breasts with one arm, and snapped the picture. She typed out, “Come to my room for another lesson.”

Within five minutes, there was a knock at her door. A flushed and flustered man stood on the other side, seemingly out of breath. 

“Did you run?” She asked with a smirk.

Bertrand clutched his phone to his chest and stepped inside her room. “What if someone had seen that photo?! My God, can you imagine the gossip!? The court would inform the press, and the press would have a field day with that! Your image would be destroyed!”

She pressed a finger to his lips and he stopped talking immediately. 

“So you didn’t like it?”

He blushed and swallowed hard, “I.. That is beside the point..”

“You sure rushed up here pretty quickly.” She teased as she lightly ran her fingernails across his chest. 

Bertrand shivered beneath her touch. “I.. well..”

Riley grabbed his hand and pulled him to her bed where they sat down beside one another. “You ready for another lesson, I take it?”

“I.. would not be averse to it.”

“You remember what comes next?” She purred, tracing her finger down his abs and stopping just above his belt. 

Bertrand’s heart fluttered. She had told him that oral sex, aka third base, was next. “I.. Can I be frank with you?”

“Of course you can. You can tell me anything, Bert.”

“I’m just a bit worried..”

Riley took his hand, her expression turning serious. “If you don’t want to do this, it’s totally fine. Some people just don’t like performing oral sex, and that’s ok! It’s a very intimate thing and honestly it's more up close and personal than actual sex. So I totally understand why you don’t want to do it to me, and I swear I’m not upset or offended at all.”

Bertrand pushed out a breath, looking down shyly. “No, no.. I want to do it to you. I’m just nervous about you doing it to me.”

Riley’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Are you worried I’ll hurt you?”

“No.” Bertrand still couldn’t face her. It had gotten slightly easier to discuss this type of thing with her, but it was still uncomfortable as hell. “I think I’m feeling self-conscious. What if I finish in your mouth by accident? What if you become disgusted by me and then … and then.. You.. don’t want to do any of this anymore.”

His last words had come out so quiet and hesitantly, that Riley wasn’t sure if she had heard him correctly. This poor man had such low self esteem and it broke her heart. She turned his cheek so that he was facing her. “Bertrand.. I promise you have nothing to worry about. I won’t be grossed out about you cumming in my mouth.”

Bertrand immediately flushed at her lude description and looked down again, but Riley turned his face back toward her. “I’m serious,” She said calmly. “I actually really like it. It gets me off.”

His eyes widened, “Really?”

She chuckled nervously, actually looking embarrassed. “Yes. But this lesson is going to be your call. Whatever you want to do tonight, I’m down. I just want you to be comfortable and honest with me.”

Bertrand nodded and cleared his throat, staring at the carpet so as to not meet her eyes. “I apologize. Saying all this is just really difficult for me.”

“I know,” Riley smiled. “And I’m really proud of you.”

Bertrand smiled slightly. His heart was hammering in his chest, but he forced out the words. “I would really like to.. to.. focus on you tonight.”

Riley felt her stomach erupt in butterflies and she grinned. “Then let me grab a quick shower and we’ll get started.”

Riley emerged five minutes later, wrapped in a plush white towel, her damp, blonde hair cascading across her bare shoulders. Bertrand knew she was gorgeous.. Hell, everyone knew she was gorgeous, but the fact that he got to see her in a way no one else at court had seen her, always gave him a little burst of confidence. He had seen her naked three times and Liam hadn’t even once. Bertrand’s stomach briefly twisted with guilt as he remembered why Riley was even in Cordonia in the first place- for Liam. 

Riley dropped her towel and Bertrand gasped, whispering to himself, “Four times.”

“What?” She grinned as she made her way closer to where he was sitting on the bed.

“Nothing!” He flushed.

Riley dimmed the lights as she always did to help Bertrand feel more comfortable, but he spoke up softly. “Could we.. leave them on this time? I would like to see what I’m doing.”

She grinned brightly, “Of course!”

Bertrand stood next to the bed awkwardly while Riley climbed in and lay down on her back. His eyes hungrily raked across her naked body and his cock twitched in his pants. He had been fully hard ever since she emerged from the bathroom, but he already decided that tonight was not going to be about him.

“What do I do first?” He asked hesitantly.

Riley patted the spot next to her and he climbed on the bed. “First you take off your shirt.”

“Oh? Is that necessary for oral sex?”

“No,” Riley gave him a coy smile. “I just like to see you without your shirt on.”

He laughed and quickly removed his shirt, folding it and laying it aside before turning his attention back to his teacher. Riley leaned forward, meeting him in a deep kiss which he eagerly returned. After a few intimate moments locked in the embrace, both were breathing heavily and Bertrand began to let his hands wander along her body. She nodded in encouragement when he positioned himself in front of her.

“You can work your way up if you like. Start kissing along my thighs, and work your way further in if you want to continue. Oh, wait.” Riley quickly stopped him. “But if you don’t like it, please stop. I promise I won't be offended or anything.”

Bertrand’s entire being was trembling as he lowered his body onto the bed in preparation. He took hold of her supple thighs and gently spread them apart. 

She was breathtakingly gorgeous. 

He began tenderly placing kisses along the inside of her thighs. As unsure as he was, he was ready to dive straight in. And more than anything he wanted to please Riley.. To have her scream in ecstasy. He shuddered at the thought and inched forward even more. The tentative kisses he was initially leaving were quickly becoming more intense and he heard her release a soft moan in anticipation as he got closer to her center.

“Just remember to be gentle.” She smiled down at him and he nodded. “You can pretend it’s Savannah if you want. I mean.. I assume that’s what you do every time anyway.”

“Er, right. Of course.”

Bertrand placed his lips against her warm cunt, alternating between leaving soft kisses and swiping his tongue through her folds. His entire body flooded with warmth once he tasted her. It was like nothing he had ever imagined. He found himself lapping up her sweet juices and she moaned softly as he swirled and flicked his tongue. He couldn’t see her face, but imagined the way she looked. Her mouth was probably open, her luscious pink lips parted as her breath quickened. Her emerald eyes were probably closed, or better yet, watching him. He groaned at the thought and increased his pace.

“Oh my God.. Bert that feels so good.. Just like that..”

He took hold of her thighs, bringing her closer to his mouth as he worked her. It was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced and he didn’t think he could ever get enough. He wasn’t sure why Riley said people didn’t enjoy this. The way she was moaning and writhing was enough to make him cum in his pants. She occasionally moved his head to a different position and each time he dove right back in, lavishing attention exactly where she wanted him.

He daringly pressed his tongue inside her and she gasped, “Oh.. that’s.. yes.. Keep doing that..”

This was heaven. His nose was pressed against her glistening core while he fucked her with his tongue. Riley took hold of his hair and brought this attention back to her clit which he took turns kissing, licking, and gently sucking. Her back arched and her grip in his hair tightened, “I’m gonna cum.. Don’t stop!”

He continued and she cried out, releasing a string of curses as her body writhed beneath his mouth. Her juices coated his tongue in a rush and he licked them up eagerly, savoring every drop. He selfishly continued well after her orgasm was finished until she reached down to lift his head.

“Oh my God!” Riley said breathlessly as she looked at him in surprise. “That was.. That was.. Fuck!”

Bertrand wiped his mouth against the back of his hand and smiled. “Good?”

She laughed, still trying to catch her breath. “Amazing. How are you so good at everything?”

“Really?” He beamed at her praise. “Maybe it’s because I.. thoroughly enjoyed it.”

She smiled and gestured at the bulge in his pants. “You want some relief now?”

He shook his head shyly. “No. I meant it when I said I just wanted this to be about you.”

“Wow,” Riley chuckled. “You are really something, Bertrand Beaumont. Savannah is a lucky lady.”

Bertrand’s heart skipped a beat. “Really?”

“Well ya.” Riley cleared her throat, “I, uh.. I should go clean up.”

“No, no!” Bertrand jumped up and headed toward the bathroom. “Allow me.”

Riley helped Bertrand clean her up and she frowned as she tried to scrub the damp sheets. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about.. that.. I know it’s a mess. I honestly haven't had it happen in years, so I didn’t think about it...”

Bertrand cleared his throat, “Female ejaculation or ‘squirting’. I know.” He didn’t want to say it out loud, but he loved that it happened.

“You know?!”

He chuckled bashfully, “I may have looked up some things on the internet.. In preparation.”

Riley's jaw dropped and she laughed loudly, “You cheated!”

“I prefer to call it studying.” He grinned, “I have always strived to be a model student.”

Just then Bertrand’s phone beeped, alerting them that it was almost time for dinner. He buttoned up his shirt and reached for the door. “I'll freshen up in my room and head downstairs. You are coming to dinner, right?”

She twirled a lock of her hair nervously. “We could always just order room service and watch a movie in my room or something. Just the two of us? It might be fun.”

Bertrand’s brow furrowed in confusion, “But.. this is a prime opportunity for you to mingle with the other nobles. You need to get in their good graces if you are to become queen.”

“Right.” Riley nodded, even though her heart sank. “I’ll be there in a few.”

[dropsofmoonlightzine]

Happy Holidays everyone!

We hope you are doing well! First, thank you so much for your continued support of the Drops of Moonlight Zine Charity Project. Although the project has gone on for much longer than planned due to multiple hiccups that we have faced, we are still committed to have the physical and digital bundles distributed to those who have pre-ordered them. Once the hiccups listed below are resolved, we will be reaching out to those (contributors and supporters) who pre-ordered a bundle to collect shipping and handling, and ship everything out! With that, included below is a summary list of previous updates re: the current Murphy's Law poo that is holding the project up:

We're still missing 2/5th of the shipment of the printed volume. Production had been in delay because of the paper crisis and they arrived in increments slowly batch by batch. We bought from a small family-run vendor and they glue the covers by hand. We've been getting them in smaller batches, and two batches have yet to arrive. They don't ever update us re:status, but they have been consistent.

Our sticker order was lost in the mail. We're fighting with FedEx on whose fault this is. We have had to pay double customs to have it re-enter its country of origin and make the trip again, which is ongoing, and are trying to get reimbursed by FedEx, which is a lengthy process.

The coloring books arrived late and with faulty covers, and after much discussion with the company, it appears that the fault was entirely our own. One of our mods is paying for 400 new covers out of their own pocket and will fix them by hand.

Our local washi vendor pulled out and went bankrupt and radio silent. This was a huge problem both for budget and for getting a new one. We have one finally lined up, production has begun.

Booth has refunded part of our orders because it took too long, meaning our funds have further shrunk. We're in talks with Booth to save the rest. It's in Japanese so only one mod could handle it, and this is not the easiest.

The domain for our website was paid for two years and that was the time and funding allotted in the budget. These two years are up. We didn't notice that for the longest while, and then when we did, things like Booth happened, and we decided against renewing the domain so late in the game. We plan to ship the orders with Shopify and the portion of Booth orders that have not yet been refunded.

A few mods we won't name are on extended hiatus for critical life events that we won't call out for privacy, and because this project has gone on for much longer than anyone on the team has anticipated or consented to/planned for. This means the rest of the work is falling on fewer shoulders. Tasks and responsibilities have subsequently changed amongst the mod team since 2020; for instance, we don't have a mod in charge of communications right now and haven't had one in a while, which you do clearly notice.

We make all decisions together as a team, which makes us democratic and also slow. We react to things only together but it means we wait out mod meetings across four time zones for nodding off on all decisions.

Everything else is ready, layouted, translated, linked to, hosted online, printed, lined up, and arrived. Once everything else lines up/arrives, we will be reaching out to those who pre-ordered a physical bundle to collect shipping and handling, and then ship them out.

We realize that the timing of everything has not been ideal. We did not realize we bit off more than we could chew when we took this project on… and none of us Mods plan to take on anything like this ever again as all of us are doing this on our own time. We thank you for your continued support and wish you all a safe holiday season!

Love,

The Drops of Moonlight Zine Mod Team

Happy Holidays!

皆さまお元気でお過ごしでしょうか。まず初めに、いつも「月の雫」チャリティー・プロジェクトをご支援いただきありがとうございます。このプロジェクトは、さまざまな不運が重なったことにより予定よりかなり長引いていますが、ご予約いただいた皆様に、ZINEバンドルとデジタルバンドルをお届けすることをお約束します。下記の問題が解決した時点で、バンドル版を予約してくださった方々（寄稿者の皆さま、サポーターの方々）に連絡を取りZINEたちを発送する予定です。下記に記すのはこれまでこのプロジェクトの妨げとなってしまったことがらに関する過去のアップデートの要約です：

印刷会社より全量の2/5の出荷を未だ受け取っていません。製紙危機のために生産が遅れ、製本されたZINEが少量ずつ到着しています。今回購入したのは家族経営の小さな印刷会社で、彼らは手作業で表紙を糊付けしています。ZINEは少量のロットで納品されており、あと2つのバッチの到着を待っている状況です。

付録のシールで完成品の紛失がありました。国際輸送中に行方がわからなくなってしまったため、現在輸送会社のFedexと責任の所在を明らかにしようとしています。原産国から再度入国させるために関税を二重に支払う必要があり予算にも影響を与えるものでしたが、皆さまへ発送するためこれらの対応は現在も進行中です。

塗り絵の納品が遅れ、また表紙に欠陥がありました。印刷会社と確認した結果、どうやら私たちの責任であることが判明したため、モデレーターのひとりが、自腹で400冊分の新しい表紙を購入し、手作業で表紙を付け直している最中です。

マスキングテープを発注した地元の業者は倒産し、音信不通となりました。新しい業者に再発注する必要があり予算的にも大きな問題でしたが、ようやく1社が決まり、生産が始まりました。

発送まで期間が空きすぎたため、BOOTHで注文の一部がキャンセルとなりました。予約してくださった皆さまには申し訳ありませんでした。まだ残っている注文に関してはキャンセル期限延長をBOOTHと交渉中です。日本語対応可能なモデレーターがひとりで対応にあたっています。

私たちのウェブサイトはドメイン料が2年間支払われており、それが予算上割り当てられた時間と資金でしたが、この2年間が終了しました。そのことに長い間気づかず、気づいたときにはブースのようなことが起きていて、ドメインの更新はすべきではないと判断しました。Shopifyでの注文と、Boothでの注文のうちまだ返金されていない分については必ず発送する予定です。

このプロジェクトは、主催チームの誰もが予想し、同意し、計画したよりもはるかに長く続いています。モデレーターの何人かは私生活での緊急を要する事態によりプロジェクトを離れる必要があり、残りの仕事は少ない肩の上に乗っています。例えば、しばらくコミュニケーション担当のモデレーターが不在であることにお気づきの方も多いと思います。

私たちはチームとしてすべての決定を下すので、民主的であると同時に時間が掛かります。私たちは共に物事に対処しますが、それは4つのタイムゾーンにまたがって主催ミーティングを開催し、すべての決定でそれぞれが同意する必要があることを意味しています。

それ以外のすべてについては、準備を進め、レイアウトし、翻訳し、リンクを貼り、オンラインでホストし、印刷し、並べ、到着しています。すべての材料が揃い／到着し次第、ZINEバンドルを予約注文してくれた人たちに連絡を取り順次発送していく予定です。

すべてが理想的なタイミングではなかったことはもちろん承知しています。このプロジェクトを発足したとき、自分たちが扱い切れる以上のものを発案したことに気づいていませんでした。皆さまにはご心配をお掛けし本当に申し訳なく思っています。皆さまの変わらぬご支援に、心から、感謝いたします。

愛をこめて、

月の雫ZINE　主催チーム

[dumpster-fire-sapphic-failgirl]

One last post, this one about the disk horse itself

My posts, at the very least, are about Kipperlilly’s motivations

it might be romantic or it might be platonic, but Lucy was the one person Kipperlilly seemed to actually care about. And it being the love of the bestie or wanting to wife her is really beside the point bc either way Kipperlilly would be motivated to want her back

It certainly doesn’t matter if it’s reciprocated. Lucy might’ve just been trying to placate the mean girl in their group. Lucy might have despised Kipperlilly. She also might have been writing “KC+LF” in hearts in her notebooks. Whatever Lucy’s feelings, when presented with the choice of “stay dead and have your soul trapped” vs “come back to life and serve a rage god of the Hells” she chose to stay dead. Anything else is us projecting/coming up with fun stories

Kipperlilly was a kinda boring girl with shitty opinions. An entitled brat. But one that came up with the name “High Five Heroes”. And shitty entitled brats can have their worldview rocked and turn out okay later. We know she’s not uncomplicatedly good. I think that her being uncomplicatedly bad, knowing Brennan and the stories he tends to tell, is unlikely.

Hate her all you want. Let that righteous rage of Ankarna flow through you. Love her all you want. You might be falling prey to the Mastermind. Ship her like FedEx. I’m not your mom.

Anyway, that’s a lot of words to say that we still don’t have the whole story and it is just that, a story.

See you all Wednesday!

[beansnpeets]

The custom harness I ordered for Sprocket. First one appears to be lost in the mail. But the maker never sent me photos of the harness like she said she would. She never sent me the tracking number like she said she would. Then she said she lost the post office receipt with the tracking number. She sent another harness via fedex, allegedly, and said 2 day shipping. She messaged me last Wednesday late afternoon that she sent it, so I expected it either Friday or yesterday. Still nothing today. I messaged her to let her know and ask if she had tracking for it.

Surely if she had ripped me off she would have blocked me by now, no? I'm so frustrated. I tried to order this from her way back in February and I still don't have it. Money has been sent and I've been waiting. Sigh.

[greatlordfluffernutter]

fucking fedex

So last Thursday I bought a TV from best buy and ordered it to be shipped to my new apartment (in store, since I was right there so it seemed more convenient to get the guy to do it for me than wait foreshadowing). He said it would be here Saturday. Tracking page agrees. Wonderful.

Fast forward to Saturday. My package has been delayed to Monday without an explanation. No further information, no indication that I had to do anything, foreshadowing just that something went wrong and now its coming Monday. Okay. I can wait.

Monday comes and goes. No package. Monday night I check and it changed from "Monday by 8pm" to "Tuesday no yeah for sure for real pal trust me Tuesday". Okay. Maybe the driver got into two separate car accidents. Whatever. It's been in this city since Saturday but whatever.

Tuesday. No package all day. Check at night. No package. Check the tracking info. My order no longer has an expected delivery date. Hmmmm...

Call fedex since they're still open. Five "I would like to speak to a human representative"s later I get someone on the phone to discuss the situation with.

She tells me that the issue must be that the address for my order does not have the apartment number on it, just the address, and that's why they couldn't deliver it, so the address needs to be fixed.

Fucking bestbuy guy forgot to put down my address number and that's why my TV is three days late.

Literally nobody at either company, at any stage in this process, told me in any way, shape, or form that this was the issue or that I would have to do something about it.

Okay.

Well at least I'm currently on the phone with fedex, the people who have my package, to tell them which number of apartment to deliver it to. I ask her to update the address.

She says no.

She tells me I need to tell best buy to tell them to fix the address.

...okay.

Hang up.

Call best buy.

"I would like to speak to a human representative" "I would like to speak to a human representative" "I would like to speak to a human representative" "I would like to speak to a human representative" "I would like to speak to a human representative"

Robot gets switched out for a different robot to tell me that

They just closed

15 minutes ago

while I was on the phone with fedex

>run jokermode.exe

To quote Abigail Thorn,

WHY AM I DOING YOUR FUCKING JOB

[lauralot89]

He is uncommonly clever, if one can judge from his face, and full of energy.

Jonathan: *uncommonly clever*

Jonathan: *reacted to Dracula revealing he has no reflection and then terribly trying to hide that by yeeting the only mirror in the castle with "But how am I going to shave now"*

yes I know I'm being unfair

After reading his account of it I was prepared to meet a good specimen of manhood

I'm an adult

However, after a while I came away; my friend is just a little too sane at present to make it safe to probe him too deep with questions. He might begin to think, and then—!

I feel like moments of lucidity would be the best time to ask questions, but then, I'm clearly an idiot because I never would have come up with such brilliant plans as "let my patient escape on purpose instead of treating him"

can you imagine if Jonathan had to track all this stuff down with today's shipping companies? Imagine trying to get any information out of FedEx. Then again, if Drac had used FedEx he'd never have received half of his boxes and they'd just be like "yeah we don't know where they went sorry" and only after he specifically called to ask because they wouldn't bother to reach out and tell them

Yes, I've had a bitter experience

Of course they had heard Lucy speak of me, and it seemed that Dr. Van Helsing, too, has been quite "blowing my trumpet," as Mr. Morris expressed it.

I adore how everyone who meets Mina immediately falls in love and never stops talking about it, great stuff

I never thought at the time how strange it all was

yeah, dealing with vampires puts everything into perspective that way

It seemed but poor comfort to so brave and unselfish a soul, and impulsively I bent over and kissed him.

you know, if Dracula hadn't come and ruined everything, these people could have had the greatest orgy ever, just saying

She looked so appealing and so pretty that I could not refuse her, and there was no possible reason why I should

I mean there was the time Renfield stabbed you

His method of tidying was peculiar: he simply swallowed all the flies and spiders in the boxes before I could stop him. It was quite evident that he feared, or was jealous of, some interference.

Seward why are you so judgmental

"You're not the girl the doctor wanted to marry, are you? You can't be, you know, for she's dead."

wait can every patient hear Seward doing his phonograph

He replied to her with as much courtesy and respect as he had shown contempt to me

Maybe that's because she doesn't treat him like a science experiment

after to-night she must not have to do with this so terrible affair

*prolonged furious screaming*

Listen. LISTEN. I know that Van Helsing's own wife went mad and I'm sure all of his not-telling-anyone-anything bullshit is in an attempt to keep them safe from the same fate but like

a) No

b) Mina is the only reason we've made as much progress as we have

c) Are you sure your wife didn't just go insane from listening to you speak endlessly, sir

that was mean of me. but still.

However, 'the milk that is spilt cries not out afterwards,' as you say.

oh my head

he can command all the meaner things: the rat, and the owl, and the bat—the moth, and the fox, and the wolf

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

Dracula can control MOTHS?

DRACULA/MOTHMAN CROSSOVER WHEN

Van Helsing just sitting around listing all the ways Dracula kicks ass feels very Gaston to me

They learned his secrets in the Scholomance

WIZARD SCHOOL WITH HEADMASTER SATAN

Whilst they were talking Mr. Morris was looking steadily at the window, and he now got up quietly, and went out of the room.

Quincey greatness incoming in 3, 2, 1 -

Here we were interrupted in a very startling way. Outside the house came the sound of a pistol-shot; the glass of the window was shattered with a bullet, which, ricochetting from the top of the embrasure, struck the far wall of the room. I am afraid I am at heart a coward, for I shrieked out. The men all jumped to their feet; Lord Godalming flew over to the window and threw up the sash. As he did so we heard Mr. Morris's voice without:—

"Sorry! I fear I have alarmed you. I shall come in and tell you about it." A minute later he came in and said:—

"It was an idiotic thing of me to do, and I ask your pardon, Mrs. Harker, most sincerely; I fear I must have frightened you terribly. But the fact is that whilst the Professor was talking there came a big bat and sat on the window-sill. I have got such a horror of the damned brutes from recent events that I cannot stand them, and I went out to have a shot, as I have been doing of late of evenings, whenever I have seen one. You used to laugh at me for it then, Art."

"Did you hit it?" asked Dr. Van Helsing.

"I don't know; I fancy not, for it flew away into the wood." Without saying any more he took his seat, and the Professor began to resume his statement

Quincey is the best character in all of fiction, I do not take debate