#but i still ship it like fedex

[dumpster-fire-sapphic-failgirl]

Checking in on the Ashoka tag and I’m glad to see I’m not the only disaster that ships Sabine and Shin

[chibifox2002]

Middle school me would be happily flipping their shit if they saw this

I couldn't draw these two (or any character from the show) to save my life

[bibleofficial]

if trump actually does put tariffs on fuckin everything that could be very good for america in the long run tbf

[oldtestleper]

all that shit would have never happened if they had followed OSHA guidelines

[angelasscribbles]

Chapter Synopsis- Feelings get more complicated when the court arrives for the Beaumont bash.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

Her eyes widened and she quickly glanced behind her at Bertrand, who had turned away, a telltale blush creeping up his neck.

OH....HAHAHAHAHAHAHA She slipped up!!!!!

God, she looks gorgeous. Of course he couldn’t tell her those exact words, it wouldn’t be appropriate. So he responded, “That dress is quite acceptable for the court’s arrival.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I love that even though we all think he's sexy now, he's still Bertrand!

Savannah. He had utterly and completely forgotten about her existence.

The way it would be for the rest of his life.

Oh my God, you're breaking my heart here!!

I wanna know what Sav said to make Bert blush.....

So of course she had to do it again, intentionally.

That's my girl!

Savannah who, she thought to herself with a smile.

“Riley!” Bertrand gasped, and everyone at their table turned to look at him. “I, er.. “ 

Riley’s heart crashed to the floor. Even after everything, he still wants me to marry Liam. She forced a smile. “No, Bertrand’s right.. Of course I would.”

no no no, he didn't mean it! Poor Riley!

While everyone excitedly exited the dining room, Riley made her way to the nearest bathroom, trying and failing to keep her tears at bay.

GAH! No!

You can't just leave us hanging like that. We need the next chapter stat!

This was so fucking angsty! They need to figure it out! Max, do something!!!

Never Have I Ever

Chapter 14 - The Beaumont Bash - Part 1

Book- TRR

Series- Never Have I Ever

Pairings- Bertrand x MC 

Chapter Synopsis- Feelings get more complicated when the court arrives for the Beaumont bash.

Chapter Warnings- language, sensuality

Rating - Mature

Word Count- 2,010

____________________________________________________

Chapter 14 - The Beaumont Bash - Part 1

The next morning Riley entered the kitchen for breakfast, and Bertrand followed a moment later. He smiled and acknowledged her politely, as if he hadn’t slept in her bed last night. “Good morning, Lady Riley.”

She grinned, “Morning Bert.”

The two locked eyes for a moment, exchanging private smiles.

“Uh, good morning Maxwell!” Max said in amusement, from his spot at the kitchen table where he was having a blackberry scone and tea. “Hope you guys didn’t miss me too much last night.”

“Yes, yes, good morning Maxwell.” Bertrand said, busying himself at the stove with a cup of tea. “I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble last night.”

Riley sat down beside Max with a grin. “Good morning, sunshine! Sooo, tell me how your date went,” Riley said, taking a bite of his scone.

Max smiled conspiratorially, “Let’s just say the Amazing Armando is indeed amazing. I swear I can barely walk today!”

“Ha!” Riley chuckled, “Same.”

She froze once she realized what she just implied. Bertrand still had no idea that she had told Maxwell about their arrangement, and Max had no idea that they had sex. Her eyes widened and she quickly glanced behind her at Bertrand, who had turned away, a telltale blush creeping up his neck. “I mean.. Because I was working so hard yesterday preparing for the court’s arrival! And my.. legs are tired.” 

Maxwell’s jaw hung open and he looked between the two of them, though neither would meet his eyes. He kicked Riley’s leg under the table, and mouthed, “What the hell!? Details!”

Riley shook her head and checked behind her for Bertrand, but he had disappeared. “You seriously want details about what me and your brother did last night?” She whispered.

“Uh, if it involves Bertrand no longer being a thirty year old virgin, then yes I want details!”

Riley looked down, trying not to grin. “A lady shouldn’t talk about such things.”

Maxwell smiled delightedly, “You screwed him, didn’t you? Oh, you slutty queen!”

RIley laughed, “I should be calling you that! Spending the night with the Amazing Armand after one date!”

“Uh, it’s Armand-o!,” Max corrected her. “Can’t forget the ‘o’ because he sure as hell didn’t.” Maxwell sighed as he reminisced. “Several ‘o’s’ in fact..” 

“Maxwell!” Riley chuckled. “Damn, you did have fun last night!”

“Sounds like you did too.” Max smirked, “And I’ll gladly share my title of slutty queen with you.”

The two friends laughed together and Maxwell sipped his tea thoughtfully. “You know, I called it from the beginning.”

“Called what?”

His mouth rose into a smirk, “You guys are totally in love now.”

“What?! You’re crazy!”

Max ignored her, shimmying in his seat excitedly. “I always wanted a sister!”

“Max! It’s not like that!”

Just then a maid entered the room and the conversation abruptly ended, much to Riley’s relief.

__________________________________________

Bertand couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. The court would begin arriving in a couple hours and normally he would be a nervous wreck, but not today. Today everything seemed right with the world. Nothing could bring him down.

His phone chimed with a text and he smiled even brighter when he saw who it was from- Riley. She had sent him a picture of herself in the dress she was planning to wear that day. God, she looks gorgeous. Of course he couldn’t tell her those exact words, it wouldn’t be appropriate. So he responded, “That dress is quite acceptable for the court’s arrival.”

She sent back a kissing smiley face with a heart, and butterflies fluttered in his chest. 

Bertrand sat his phone back on the counter and grinned at himself in the mirror as he fixed his hair. I look pretty darn good today. Just then his phone chimed again and he quickly snatched it back up, excited to see what Riley was sending him now.

His heart dropped as he read it. “I can’t wait to see you today!” From Savannah.

Savannah. He had utterly and completely forgotten about her existence. Now she’s coming here and she’s excited to see me. He sighed and sat the phone back on the counter, and his stomach twisted with guilt. 

The past few weeks he had been living in a fantasy world, but now it was time to wake up. The coronation was happening very soon and there was a chance that Riley would be chosen. In fact, the press was naming Riley, Olivia, and Madeleine as the ‘frontrunners’ for queen. Whatever Liam and Drake had between them clearly wasn’t anything more than physical.. and maybe he had read too much into the whole thing in the first place. It's not like he actually saw anything happen between them.

He should be happy. After all, Riley becoming queen was the plan from the beginning. 

With a heavy sigh, Bertrand buttoned up his suit jacket and made his way downstairs, ready to play the perfect, proper Duke of Ramsford.

Just the way he was expected to.

The way it would be for the rest of his life.

________________________________________________

Riley, Bertrand, and Maxwell greeted their noble guests as they arrived in the grand dining room for dinner. Riley mingled politely with the other ladies of court while they gossiped and chatted about Liam and the Beaumont bash which was taking place after dinner that night. 

Liam made his way over to the group and held his hand out to Riley. “If you ladies will excuse us, I would like a word with our hostess for the evening.”

Riley followed Liam to a private corner of the room where they sat together. “It’s lovely to see you again, Lady Riley,” Liam smiled that charming prince smile and she couldn’t help but return it.

“You too, Your Highness.”

“I thought I told you to call me Liam,” he grinned cheekily.

“I thought I told you to call me Riley,” she quipped back and Liam chuckled.

“The estate is lovely. Bertrand told me that you had a hand in choosing some of the decor?”

“Oh, yes! Can you actually believe he gave up some control and let me and Max help?”

Liam chuckled, “Not really. The duke has always been a control freak.. Likes things to be just so. Which is why I find myself feeling a bit sorry for you.”

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Being under constant scrutiny by Bertrand Beaumont must be exhausting.”

Riley watched Bertrand across the room, engaging their guests with a perfect air of confidence and propriety, and she couldn't help but smile fondly. “Nah. He’s cool.”

“Cool?!” Liam laughed, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone describe Bertrand as ‘cool’, but I suppose you’ve gotten to know him better than most these past few months.”

Riley felt her cheeks heat up. She certainly had. 

Just then, Savannah made her way over to Bertrand, leaning in and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Riley watched with rapt attention, trying to decipher what they were saying. Bertrand looked down shyly, while a faint blush colored his cheeks, and Riley felt her stomach drop. They were flirting.. And Savannah made him blush. 

Of course he’s flirting with her. He likes her.

Liam cleared his throat, “Riley? Earth to Riley? Did you hear anything I said?”

Riley shook off her stupor, and turned to Liam ruefully. “I’m so sorry, Liam. I was just.. Distracted for a moment. I suppose I’m a bit tired.”

Liam smiled, “Well, perhaps dinner will help you get reenergized.”

“I’m sure it will.” Riley tried to smile, but her attention once again returned to Savannah and Bertrand while they laughed together.

________________________________________

Riley found herself seated at the head table during dinner, Liam, Regina, and Constantine on her left, Bertrand and Maxwell on her right. 

She smiled amiably, practiced impeccable table manners, engaged in polite conversation with the royal family, and by all means, was the perfect lady. But everything about the evening felt forced on her part. At one point, she crossed her legs and accidentally brushed her foot against Bertrand, who immediately blushed and jerked away. 

So of course she had to do it again, intentionally.

Riley slipped her shoe off and casually stretched out her leg, sliding it along Bertrand’s ankle. He sucked in a breath and sputtered and coughed, face growing red.

“Dear boy, are you alright?” Constantine asked in concern.

Bertrand cleared his throat and plastered on a smile. “My apologies, Your Majesty. I’m alright now.” He glanced at Riley briefly and blushed all over again.

Riley smiled, wondering how far he would let this go. She slid her foot up Bertrand’s pant leg slightly, rubbing up and down his calf. His face was flushed, and his breathing was becoming labored, but the royal family were talking amongst themselves and paying them no mind.

Savannah who, she thought to herself with a smile.

She casually reached over to Bertrand’s lap and caressed his upper thigh with her fingertips. He shivered, but still didn't stop her. 

Ya, he likes it.

Riley dropped her napkin on the floor and as she leaned under the table to pick it up, grazed her hand across the front of Bertrand’s crotch.

“Riley!” Bertrand gasped, and everyone at their table turned to look at him. “I, er.. “ 

Riley quickly sat up and formulated a lie. “Bertrand was just reminding me to take my.." The only thing that came to mind was the medication her mother took any time she ate dairy. “..lactase supplement.”

Liam turned to her in surprise, “I didn’t know you were lactose intolerant, Lady Riley.”

“Oh ya, I totally bloat up like a pufferfish if I forget my pill.” She tried not to visibly cringe at how unladylike she just sounded. 

“It’s true,” Maxwell added, “Digestive health is no joke.”

Now she was beginning to sweat while the royal family gawked at her. Riley cut her eyes over and Bertrand was pinching the bridge of his nose, while Max held his hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking as he attempted to contain his laughter. 

Regina cleared her throat. “Well, we wouldn’t want you to have digestive issues and miss your first Beaumont bash. Of course you should take your medication.”

They looked at her expectantly and Riley nodded. “Oh.. yes of course.” She dug around in her purse, pretending to remove a pill, before “swallowing” it. 

Thankfully dessert was served, interrupting the awkward hell that this dinner had become. Riley supposed she deserved it after torturing Bertrand like that. 

Regina leaned forward to speak to Riley directly. “If you will indulge me, I have a bit of a personal question for you, Lady Riley.”

Riley plastered on a polite smile. “Of course, Your Majesty.”

Regina’s face grew serious. “I know this isn’t the life you grew up in, and the past few months have been a big change for you. So, I have to ask.. if you are chosen as Liam’s bride, do you feel you would want to continue this life on a daily basis? And would you be ready, not only to marry, but also to be queen?”

Riley froze, as all eyes fell on her. She immediately looked from Bertrand, to Liam, then back to Bertrand. “I..”

Bertrand interrupted, “Of course she would be ready!”

Regina chuckled, “I know you’re invested as her sponsor, but there’s no need to answer for her, Duke Ramsford.”

Riley’s heart crashed to the floor. Even after everything, he still wants me to marry Liam. She forced a smile. “No, Bertrand’s right.. Of course I would.”

Constantine clapped his hands together with a grin. “Well, that satisfies me. Unless my lovely wife has any more forthright questions for our son’s suitor?” 

Regina swatted his arm playfully. “Oh, darling, you know I’m just concerned for Liam’s future.”

Bertrand tapped his glass, and stood to address the entire room. “Now that the dessert has been served, the grand hall is open. Please join us there for after dinner festivities as we celebrate the end of the social season with the annual Beaumont bash!”

While everyone excitedly exited the dining room, Riley made her way to the nearest bathroom, trying and failing to keep her tears at bay.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

this is a slight detour from your usual subject matter but i'm very curious about your experience renting a high-quality camera lens? how did you go about doing that and have you been pleased with how it worked out? (the changing of hands i mean, it's clear you're happy with the lens!)

i didn't know this was a Thing before and now i'm wondering if i might be able to try that myself!

Oh yeah, it's absolutely the best thing if you can't afford fancy lenses / want to try out new gear / just need something for a special occasion.

There are places you can rent online that will ship you gear, and depending on where you live you can often also rent from local camera stores. I've done both!

Right now my main practice is renting lenses from LensRentals, which is an online company that ships out of Tennessee. They've got pretty reasonable rental prices, and they don't charge a deposit - but you do sign a thing saying if you damage or lose it, they can charge you. You can also pay for insurance on the rentals against damage or loss which would mitigate a lot of that cost if something went wrong. I've heard a range of opinions about them, but I've pretty much always had a good experience with them and gotten stuff on time that worked correctly, and their customer service has been really responsive for me when we had some snafus with shipping stuff back lately. One thing they do that I really like is their system is set up with an option to ship directly to FedEx stores for you to pick up, which means I don't have to worry about a package containing pricey gear getting stolen or rained on.

LensRentals also is willing to let you buy their rental gear, which is what I'm hoping to do before I send the really nice huge telephoto lens I've been using back tomorrow. They'll take some of the price of your rental off the purchase cost - it isn't a ton, but it generally covers sales tax and maybe a little more. I like it as a way to purchase used gear because I can see the condition before I commit, and I've had it in my hands and gotten to use it a bunch. That's how I bought my first real digital camera like a decade ago, and where I got my current camera and starter lenses.

If you've got a local rental store, I absolutely encourage going through them! I've done that when traveling - there have been some times I wanted a specific piece of gear to test on a habitat - and it's worked out really well. Plus, supporting local businesses is always the right choice. They'll often all operate a little differently, but it's nice to know people IRL who can help you decide what gear to use or just nerd out with you. Sometimes local places will ask for some type of deposit to make sure you bring the gear back, and TBH if that's within your budget it's perfectly reasonable.

Unfortunately, the local rental place in my area charges a deposit to your credit card for the entire worth your rental until you bring it home, and my credit limit isn't high enough that I can float a hold for that (e.g. upwards of four thousand dollars for the two lenses I'm using lately) and still be able to, y'know, use my card, so I go with online rentals. It drives me up a wall! I'd really like to support local businesses and minimize shipping costs / carbon emissions.

If you think you'd like to rent some gear to try out, I recommend it! Just make sure you know what's compatible with your camera, you've got a safe way to transport and store the rental when you're not using it, and that you know the terms up front. It's been such a fun way to play around and see what I like and what works well for me.

[fintan-pyren]

do you have any fintante fic recs i can't find them :')

Pro tip for searching for Fintante fics on AO3: consider excluding fics tagged with main cast ships (Fedex, Sophiana, etc.). There's nothing inherently wrong with these, but they can be a sign that a fic isn't really focused on Fintante, or is overtagged for exposure. Doing so will narrow down the Councillor Bronte/Fintan Pyren tag to a little over 20 fics (as of right now), most of which are focused primarily on Fintante.

Also consider checking the tag Councillor Bronte & Fintan Pyren. Their chemistry is really good in a lot of the fics in this tag, even if it's not explicitly romantic. They're related in some of the fics in this tag, but excluding the tag "Councillor Bronte and Fintan Pyren are Siblings" will remove almost all of these.

In no particular order, some ones that are good are:

I'd Let You Ruin Me

you're going to have to learn to live with this

too stubborn for your own good

Axis Mundi

ice, ice, baby!

An Investigation Into a Suspected Criminal (smut)

Fics that have only minor/platonic Fintante but are really good:

Waning of the Evening Star, Dampening of the Ancient Flame

The Debate on Pyrokinesis and the Trial of Fintan Pyren

same old city (with a different name) (putting this in this category because there's only one chapter out so far, but it looks like it's heading in an interesting direction?)

If You Talk Enough Sense, Then You'll Lose Your Mind (Fintan explicitly doesn't experience attraction in this fic, but. still great interactions between them.)

There are definitely others that I've failed to include on this list, so if anyone else has recommendations for fics, please share them!

[skulls-and-wishbones]

Hiiii so I recently came across your Lost Girl AU and I don’t have the time to scroll through everything to find all the info on the AU right now would you be able to just go over the basic info/lore of this AU? Sorry if this comes across as a bit snobby I can’t think of words right now. Love what little bits I have seen of the AU tho BYEEEEEE

oh dear, I hope you don't mind me dumping everything into your ask, I think this would probably be a valuable thing to have on my page!

The Lost Girl AU is a kotlc au that takes the original storyline and puts a more adult/young adult spin on it. I am also (along with my team) focusing on filling in the plot holes that come up with someone writes such a long series and (let's be honest) doesn't know what the ending is going to look like when they start.

there are two major changes i've made

Plot

The AU is fit into 3/4 'arcs' which will eventually be found on my Ao3.

arc 1, which is already started is called The Girl from Across the Waves and will follow Sophie through a modified events of the first three books.

(arc 2 will be books 4-6 and so on)

Sophie is 13 when she is kidnapped by a 'black swan' (neverseen) and in the panic, awakens her dormient telepathic abilities, calling out to Fitz, a strange boy she has befriended.

Fitz and Keefe had a falling out pre-fic. While Fitz is the golden child of the purest blood, Keefe is more guarded; scorned by adults, sharp as a thorn brush. he is as close to a faery as one might get, in this new world.

Linh and Tam were banished to a human realm (exillium does not exist in this AU).

Foxfire is a school for the nobility, it is much less like a traditional school, it is preparing the students for school for life as keepers, councilors, and regents. Each year there is a tournament and final exams - the bottom 10% are expelled from the school.

Sofitz does happen, however, the endgame ships in this AU are fedex, sokeefe, and marelinh.

Lore

the changes in KOTLC lore are the most important part. some of you might've guessed this from the designs i've shared, but elves have a very different history in The Lost Girl AU. I'm a big Celtic and Germanic mythology nerd and the elves in this au are the ultra eugenized versions of fae from the legends of long past.

once upon a time they were one with the natural world - their shapes fluid, their minds wicked. they were beings that resided entirely off magic. some of the ancients still bare remains of this time (Fintan's goat horns and cloven hooves). There are stories, passed down carefully between families, the Dinzee's used to be sly foxes, the Heks were once borne of unicorns, but the power they once had has dissipated.

The Council, in an attempt to maintain order and control, has placed each species, each ability user, into ranks and levels when once all lived together. Keeping ones bloodline pure is held in the highest regard. Marella suffers from this, as a elf/pixie hybrid, she struggles with discrimination everywhere she goes, Dex as well, but too a lesser extend (Kesler is probably a hyrbid, I'm not sure what from yet, thinking ogre?). Sophie is called a changling, in truth, she is something far grander.

the other species are going to be more mythological as well, gnomes are pretty much a slave race after the elves killed their ruling class. goblins are tricky little beasts, etc. I care about preserving the mischief of fae.

This is where Sophie comes in, the Black Swan created someone who is quite like the elves of old - she has no limits on her powers, and as she grows, she becomes more and more connects to the land of the Lost Cities. She learns to draw her power from it.

[creations-by-chaosfay]

Kennel Quilts

Hurricane Helene has left people without homes, and many pets are now in shelters. Kennel quilts are very much needed, and are a low budget option for those with limited supplies and time.

Here's the FB page for Kennel Quilts. If you're on FB, I suggest following them. If you don't use FB, got to the link below to sign up for their mailing list. Emails are sent out only when a kennel quilts are needed.

If you can't make a quilt, but would still like to help, you have the option to donate to Petfinder here.

25 kennel quilts can fit into a medium size USPS flat rate box. These are not large quilts. Here are guidelines and free patterns you can download and use for making these. The finished size is about 12x18 inches, the same size as most placemats. This is the form to print and include with the quilts you finish and donate.

These are shelters listed in the various emails I receive from Kennel Quilts:

Humane Society of Sarasota County 2331 15th Street Sarasota, FL 34237

Cat Depot, Inc. 2542 17th Street Sarasota FL 34234

SPCA Florida 5850 Brannen Road S. Lakeland, FL 33813 Attn: Shelley Thayer

Suwannee Valley Humane Society 1156 S E Bisbee Loop Madison, FL 32340

Appalachian Highlands Humane Society 2101 W. Walnut Street Johnson City, TN 37604

Friends of Greeneville-Greene County TN Humane Society 400 N. Rufe Taylor Road Greeneville, TN 37745-2030

Asheville Humane Society 14 Forever Friend Lane Asheville, NC 28806 Attn: Jessica Moore

Humane Society of Valdosta Lowndes County 1740 W. Gordon Street Valdosta, GA 31601

Forsyth Humane Society 4881 Country Club Road Winston-Salem, NC 27104

Watuaga Humane Society has two shipping option:

For USPS: Watuaga Humane Society PO Box 1835 Boone, NC 28607 For UPS or Fedex: Watuaga Humane Society 312 Paws Way Boone, NC 28607

Alaqua Animal Refuge 155 Dugas Way Freeport, FL 32439-3357

Peyton Davis Humane Society of Pinellas 3040 State Route - 590 Clearwater, FL 33759

Gulf Coast Humane Society 2010 Arcadia Street Fort Myers, FL 33916 Attn: Lori Burke

Hope for Brevard 1465 Cypress Avenue Melbourne, FL 32935

[aechlys]

BT Movie I+II Ltd. Ed. set (tl;dr: don't use onejapan for this one)

OK, so, it seems overseas FT members cannot purchase the set on offer because it also comes with those two tickets to the in person showing of the films- which, they reckon, overseas members cannot go to so they're not going to waste the laminated passes on us even though they're shiny and we want them because they're cool. Oh well.

OneJapan is blocked from ordering the item from FT because of this (sell-outs!!!) but in the end we can benefit since we can now shop around. Arguably, in-country FT members are getting a worse deal than us (sorry- usually it's the other way around anyway lol).

After checking out HMV, Tower, and the Victor Online Shop, CD Japan has the best deal out of them all for the bluray (¥1-2,000 cheaper) plus no proxy shopper to deal with and all those extra fees etc. The only thing I can think of that might be a curve ball is if they decide to offer store-specific extras, but so far everything looks to be the same across all sites (minus the in-person movie tickets).

After ordering with CDJ, my total, including fedex shipping, was $138 USD. That's nearly 50% off the Japanese price (shipping was $26 for me and I automatically got a ¥300 off coupon) which is bananas. Who knows how long the favorable exchange rate will last so take advantage while you can.

>Find the CDJ link in the notes so tumblr doesn't filter the post.<

Don't sleep on cdj, y'all. They're the OG legitimate music seller (back when the market was flooded with chinese bootlegs), and we almost lost them when the jpop bubble burst in the late 2000s, so the fact that they're still around is a literal gift! They also sell magazines like R&R, 音楽と人, and others. (as a side note, if you are in the US and live close to a Kinokuniya, you can get a very reasonable subscription to these magazines if you inquire with kinokuniya directly. you can also get a subscription for these magazines with them even if you don't live near a kinokuniya but their shipping fees nearly double the price of the sub, so it's better to pick up your monthly mags in person yourself and fuck the shipping if you can, but still it's an option!)

Anyway, that's that on that! Good luck. This movie set won't just be the docu film but the ltd ed will have footage from I'm guessing Atsushi's last full live a month before he passed. So. It's going to have some precious stuff in there. Should be worth it!! <3

[the-way-astray]

thinking thoughts about gay fitz. how his arc has been gearing for him to step away from his family name, reputation, or legacy. how he has all those expectations on him and may mold himself to fit them rather than trust himself. etc etc.

also one more thing i thought of… (unraveled spoilers ahead!!) why the fuck didn’t keefe ask alvar about the vacker legacy even though it has been set up as a mediumish to largely important plot thread??

i think shannon needs to hire one fan/stan and one non-fan of each of her characters as a committee to make her books theeee best that they can be. lol.

good night!! it is 11pm. if it isn’t for you, have a great day ahead!!

hi, anon! those are certainly some thoughts you have there.

keefe didn't ask alvar about that because sophie already asked alvar about it in legacy. he said the troll hive was the extent of the research alvar himself had conducted, but that he suspected that his family had other buried secrets because of the sheer amount of power they held (but that he didn't actually know anything else for certain). so alvar wouldn't know anything more. and honestly? i don't think shannon will continue with the vacker legacy plot thread. it's wrapped up pretty nicely as it is right now, and revisiting it would take away precious space that could be allocated to closing plot threads that are actually still open. so, while i personally was not satisfied with the vacker legacy as a plot thread and would prefer shannon expanded upon it and gave us something more interesting, i also think that it's just not a priority anymore. it's been wrapped up. in a satisfying way? absolutely not. but it's been wrapped up nonetheless. so. that's a thing.

as for gay fitz, i agree!!!! i've talked about it briefly in this post where i mention several ways i would change kotlc, and one of those is that i would make fitz end up with dex because it would make his arc of stepping away from his family name so much more . . . cemented. (i also said in that post that my version of kotlc would have the elves not being queerphobic but unraveled shattered that so. we ignore that part i guess.) i think if he was gay in the (now canonically homophobic) lost cities, it would go a long way in making his arc about matchmaking and generally stepping away from being the perfect vacker and liking being a vacker and whatnot come full circle.

i personally don't think shannon's going to do it. and i also don't actually want her to do it. between the way fitz is dogpiled on by pretty much every non-tumblr fandom and the disastrous reception the three (3) mentions of gay people in unraveled received, i can't imagine this can go any way that could be considered good if it was canon. i talked about this same exact thing in a similar post about poc vackers a while ago, where i basically said the same thing (except it was about race instead of sexuality).

but, yeah, the headcanon absolutely slaps hard. fanon-wise, i'm personally more partial to keefitz, but i think in canon fedex is the superior ship. it's just better for both their arcs. as for fitz growing to realize that he doesn't have to mold himself to fit the overbearing vacker reputation, i think it would be so cool if he realized that because of a conversation with dex. dex is a noble, now, after all. there could be some connection there about how dex maybe feels pressure because of that but he's still not willing to sacrifice what he believes in or something idk.

my toxic trait is that i genuinely believe i could fix keefe. i could fix him . . . i could make him such a good character . . . shannon should give him to me. and yeah. she needs to do that with all the characters. at this point only stan-hater pairs could fix these guys . . .

[gale-gentlepenguin]

To this day. There has never been a ship that I was sold on immediately like Kai and Jinora.

Jinora Litterally says ONE THING to Kai and boom!

I’m shipping it like FedEx. Other ships it took longer. But damn that one still hits

[kotlcpuppetshow]

secret santa :)

Hi @squishmallow36, I was your secret santa! And I am so terribly sorry! This was written almost entirely between the times of 10 PM and 3 AM across the span of five days, so I'd like to apologize for a) the bad writing b) the projecting c) how ooc they are d) the weird, abrupt ending, and e) everything. Regardless, it is very much a Fedex story, and writing it was a lot of fun (this fic might have converted me into shipping them fr fr). Fitz is very pathetic /pos in this, so hopefully you’re a fan of that in fics :) Hope you enjoy!

story takes place in a neverseenless au (don't think too hard about how that works), tw for panic attacks, accidental self harm (related to the panic attacks), & mentions of shitty parenting

@song-tam thanks for hosting :)

Fitz didn’t want to be here, shopping in Atlantis. He was completely zoned out, foot tapping against the ground as his mind wandered, steadfastly ignoring the passage to Sophie’s mind. He didn’t want to think about her. What he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and rot for the next month, but Biana had dragged him to this outing, stating that it was time he stopped wallowing and left the house. Admittedly, she was probably right, as she often was, but that didn’t make him any happier about it. Especially since he was now stuck making incredibly awkward conversation with one Dex Diznee. Biana and Linh were off cooing at the murcats, while Tam was desperately trying to prevent his twin from buying another pet. So, since Dex was banned from the store for reasons he refused to say, and Fitz simply didn’t feel like staring at cute animals his father would never let him get, they ended up standing outside together and talking. Speaking of which…

“Hey, Wonderboy, you there?” Dex was waving a hand in front of his face, looking mildly annoyed.

Fitz snapped back into the present, suddenly remembering that there was a conversation he was meant to be engaged in. “Sorry, mind drifted off,” he apologized, still a little distracted. “Uh, what were you saying?”

Dex scoffed. “Have you not been listening at all?” He looked a little hurt, crossing his arms and shifting his body further away from him. “Y'know what, forget about it.” “Sorry,” Fitz repeated, cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment. He really hadn’t meant to ignore him. “I just… have a lot going on right now.”  Which was an understatement - with him finding out Sophie and Keefe were together (and had kissed) just a few days ago, and their cognate bond being nearly broken, and his dad practically giving him the silent treatment for getting that close to losing such a powerful bond, he was more than a little preoccupied.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Dex muttered under his breath, glaring at the tiles at his feet.

Fitz felt the corners of his mouth tug downward, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Wonderboy,” Dex was facing him again, smirk back on his face, but the nickname had a bite in it that he hadn’t heard in a while - not since one of Dex’s weird inventions had accidentally exploded and hit him, and he apologized for hating him.

“What is with you?” It was Fitz’s turn to cross his arms, posture turning defensive.

“There’s nothing with me,” Dex scowled. “I just think that if you think talking to me is so beneath you, the least you could do is be honest about it.”

Fitz just blinked at that, bewildered. He really didn’t have an answer - that couldn’t be further from the truth. He genuinely enjoyed the other’s company the majority of the time, and vice versa (or so he hoped). He wasn’t sure what brought this sudden outburst of bitterness. Had he done something wrong? Was this yet another person he had mistreated, unknowingly or not, in the past few weeks? A pang of guilt ran through him at the idea that he had hurt Dex without realizing.

Unfortunately, Dex seemed to take his silence as confirmation, continuing, “I mean, what could possibly be weighing you down so much? Perfect relationship, perfect family, all the money and power and popularity and fame you could ever want constantly at your fingertips,” he was practically spitting the words out now, anger tainting his tone. “No wonder you still don’t want to talk to someone like me!”

“Is that what this is about?” Fitz cut in. “I thought we were past this.” His eyes narrowed, catching Dex’s gaze and then quickly glancing away. He couldn’t deny being offended, and a little hurt, that despite everything, Dex only saw him as Alden's golden child, who had never faced a struggle in his life. The comment about his “perfect relationship” stung especially, like digging into a fresh wound.

“Am I wrong?” Dex growled, straightening to his full height to look down at him.

Fitz intended to make a biting comment about how yes, actually, he was very wrong, and his privilege didn’t prevent him from suffering, and hadn’t Dex realized that when he nearly blew him up, but what ended up slipping out of his mouth was, “Sophie and I broke up.”

Dex faltered. “Oh,” he said dumbly.

“Oh,” Fitz mocked. Despite his unexpected comment ripping most of the fight out of him, he still felt like being a little mean.

“When…?”

“Two days ago, technically,” he mumbled, “but we had been taking a break for a few weeks before that because of an…” he glanced sidelong at Dex, wondering how much to tell him, “an argument.”

“You mean about Sophie’s unmatchable status,” he clarified.

Well. Evidently, he didn’t have to worry about how much to tell him. He had a brief moment of panic and anger - did Sophie tell him everything? About his initial reaction, and later on, the way he’d tried to pressure her? The fact that she had kissed Keefe? Was that why Dex was acting so strangely? - before he pushed it down firmly. She had every right to talk to him about it, and if Dex was judging him for it, then could Fitz really blame him? He was certainly judging himself for it.

Apparently his emotions were showing, because Dex continued with, “Don’t worry, the only thing she told me was about being unmatchable. I think she even talked to me about it before you, actually. I just guessed you might be mad about that.”

“I was,” he admitted hesitantly, trying not to be hurt by the fact that Sophie had confided in Dex before him. “The way I reacted was, uh, not great. Not because I have something against bad matches,” he hurried to clarify. “If one of my friends was a bad match, I’d be completely fine with it as long as they were happy. But I felt like it was different for me. A lot of people still look down on bad matches, and I felt guilty about doing that to my family. To my parents, especially after Alvar and Biana.” He was referring, of course, to his older brother’s renouncement of the Vackers a few years back. He’d essentially disowned himself, and had been criticizing the family rather loudly since, a source of embarrassment for his parents. More recently, and more secretively, Biana had moved out of Everglen after a disastrous argument with their father, and was now happily living with Tiergan along with the twins.

Dex had looked increasingly more dubious as he kept rambling, but nearing the end his eyebrows had shot up. “Felt,” he noted. “Past tense?”

“I recently realized that ‘bringing shame onto your family’ shouldn’t be as big of a deal as it is to me?” he phrased it as a question, still not entirely sure what that meant. “I talked to my siblings - yes, both of them,” he confirmed, catching Dex’s surprised expression, “and they pointed out that if our parents weren’t willing to accept one of their children being a bad match, that was on them. Alvar was really annoying about it too, kept saying ‘I told you so’. But, yeah, I don’t really care anymore. Not that I got to tell Sophie that.” He mumbled the last sentence under his breath, but Dex still managed to catch it.

“Why did she break up with you then?” he questioned - then paused, eyes widening in realization. “Does it have to do with Keefe?”

Fitz just looked away, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, it totally does,” Dex decided. “What happened? Did they kiss? I know he’s liked Sophie for forever, did he make a move first? Did she get over the ‘Great Foster Oblivion’?”

Upon him not responding, Dex backed off.”Sorry. I’m being pushy. If it makes you feel any better, she rejected me too. Just proves that she has bad taste, right?”

It startled a laugh out of him, and he looked back over in time to see Dex wink at him, and he felt himself blush, much to his surprise. To be fair, he was hardly wrong. With his periwinkle eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and freckles, Dex was very cute. And pretty, for that matter. Fitz wasn’t sure how he’d managed to miss how attractive the younger boy was, actually.

“For sure,” he agreed. He would have said more, but Linh and Biana walked out at that moment, Linh holding an entire Direwolf cub in her arms and looking very pleased with herself. Tam trudged out after them, tugging on his bangs so hard it looked like he was about to rip them out. Biana glanced around before finding them and smiling brightly, strutting over.

“Hope you two weren’t too bored out here,” she greeted them cheerfully.

“Nah, we were talking,” Dex smiled back, dimples making an appearance. “We’re having lots of fun.”

Fitz hummed in agreement, letting his eyes linger on the other boy for a moment too long before turning to Biana. His sister raised an eyebrow at him, subtly asking him a question. Just as subtly, he answered by slowly extending his middle finger. She scoffed.

-----------------

He started talking with Dex more after that. Long imparter calls, trips over to Rimeshire (Dex had admitted that he felt insecure at Everglen, and Fitz was more than willing to oblige - Kesler and Juline were incredibly sweet, and the triplets, though menaces, were a source of constant entertainment). They had started confiding in each other, Dex about Rex’s talentlessness and how he feared for how his brother would be treated once the rest of the elven world found out, and Fitz about how he felt pressure to be perfect, and that he often wished he wasn’t his father’s favorite.

It was during one of his trips to Rimeshire that he realized that he was crushing hard on Dex.

They were making mallowmelt, so they were in the kitchen, baking. Or rather, Fitz was baking. Dex was sitting on the countertop watching, having claimed that the dough could sense his fear.

They were chatting about everything and nothing while he worked, from what pets they would get if they could to the abilities they wanted as a kid.

“You never thought about being a technopath? Really?” Fitz questioned. “Honestly, I don’t think I could see you as anything else.” They were waiting for the mallowmelt to finish baking, so he was leaning against the counter, the crystal chilly against his skin.

“It came as kind of a disappointment,” Dex explained. “I actually have no idea when I manifested, since I’ve always been good with tech. There was no fun, all new ability that suddenly appeared, so it was really underwhelming. My parents were over the moon when we realized, though. I think my dad cried.”

“I don’t think my dad’s ever been prouder of me than when I manifested as a telepath,” Fitz said, only slightly joking. “Alvar resented me for it at the time, though. He saw it as confirmation that he was being upstaged by his younger brother. It’s ironic, though, because we both wanted to switch places. I wanted to be a vanisher so badly when I was younger. Having everyone’s eyes on you, all the time, waiting for you to live up to your potential… I just wanted a  break, you know?”

Dex nodded, gaze thoughtful. “I get that. Having people constantly expecting something from you is exhausting,” he agreed. “For me, they were expecting failure, not success, but I guess it puts a lot of pressure on you either way.”

Fitz opened his mouth, about to respond, but at that moment the timer went off. He jumped up to turn it off and get the mallowmelt out of the oven, carefully sliding the hot pan onto the counter. Dex was already reaching for it, with no apparent concern for the fact that the gooey dish was practically still bubbling. Fitz smacked his hand away gently.

“Wait,” he chided. “You’ll burn yourself.”

Dex rolled his eyes playfully. “You just have to ruin all my fun, don’t you.”

He held his hands up in mock surrender, tossing the other a fork. “Go right ahead, then. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Grinning widely, Dex scooped up a heaping, steaming bite and brought it to his mouth… and immediately regretted it, judging by the way he started panting and fanning his face.

“Hot, hot, hot!” he yelped through a mouthful of food. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

Exasperated and amused, Fitz feigned disappointment, pretending to lecture him, but couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face.

Once Dex had downed an entire bottle of Youth or whatever they’re called and the mallowmelt had cooled a sufficient amount, they settled into a comfortable silence while eating. Fitz finished first, and simply watched as the technopath shoveled his (second) piece down his throat, a laugh bubbling up at the way the mallowmelt smeared across his lips.

Dex looked up, eyes wide. “What? What’s funny?”

“You have a little something there,” Fitz said, unthinkingly reaching up to wipe it away. His breath caught in his throat as his hand made contact with Dex’s face, pausing in its action. The other boy was blushing, the tips of his ears and his cheeks bright red.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, retracting his arm. He was suddenly all too aware of his heart beating too fast in his chest, the soft pink haze clouding his mind with thoughts of how perfect Dex looked, and oh, he knew this feeling. He knew this feeling all too well.

-----------------

Fitz hadn’t meant to come here. Really, he hadn’t. What he intended to do was head to Solfreef and get Biana to calm him down. In his enraged state, though, he wasn’t thinking quite clearly, and had yelled out “Rimeshire!”, and since he didn’t have any other leaping crystals on him, his only choice was to stay.

He knocked firmly on the door. It took Dex a few minutes to get there, and he was greeted with the sight of a still fuming Fitz pacing back and forth, hands clenched into fists so tightly his nails sent sharp flashes of pain across his nerves.

“Do you want to come inside?” he asked hesitantly after a few seconds without a reaction to him opening the door.

Fitz stopped, turning towards him. “Yeah,” he sighed, one hand coming up to drag through his hair.

They didn’t talk for a while after heading inside, but eventually Dex spoke. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Fitz muttered, shoulders coming up defensively.

“Okay…” he didn’t push, and, a little nervously, he offered another solution; “Y’know, I keep hearing about this human thing called rage rooms. They’re - well, they’re exactly what they sound like, they’re places people can go to break stuff and get out some anger. And I’ve been thinking, there are some things that I know my parents wouldn’t mind mysteriously disappearing…”

Fitz blinked a few times in surprise, realizing what he was suggesting. “No, I couldn’t-” he began, only to be cut off by Kesler poking his head around the corner.

“Please do!” he chirped. “Sorry for eavesdropping, but I’d like to offer this,” he said, holding up a horribly ugly yeti statue with telekinesis, “for your consideration.”

“See?” Dex asked, jerking his thumb in the direction of the statue. “That thing is begging to be destroyed.”

Fitz laughed slightly, some of the tension seeping out of his frame. “Well, that’s hard to argue with.”

The two were practically giving him puppy eyes now, and to be fair, it probably would do him good to let off some steam. Not to mention, they were absolutely right. That statue needed to be put out of its misery.

That was how he ended up in a clearing somewhere in the Diznee’s estate, taking a metal club to a crystal yeti statue. The fragile stone broke easily, shattering into pieces that flew everywhere with each swing. For the most part, they ended up in the grass or caught in his jerking, but a few had embedded themselves in his hands, scratching the skin he had uncovered. He’d been at it for a while, and by now he could feel the anger bubbling beneath his skin ebbing. His jaw was still clenched tightly, though, and remained that way until he collapsed in the grass, sitting a few meters away from the shattered remains of the statue and breathing heavily.

Dex approached from the edge of the clearing, where he had been standing the entire time, looking slightly shaken.

Wait. Dex had been watching the entire time. He’d seen him at his worst, letting his anger control him - the same anger that had driven Sophie away, had ruined his friendship with Keefe, had put a gap between him and his siblings. Breathing started to become difficult, and the shaky gasps he’d been taking didn’t seem to be enough. His vision blurred and distorted, Dex turning into a whirl of colors as he approached. He wrung his hands, accidentally pushing the shards of crystal still there further into his flesh. He winced at the pain. He grasped weakly at his jerkin, the thick material feeling suffocating, but his hands were shaking too hard to remove it.

“Fitz?”

The voice came to him as if through a fog, drifting into his consciousness. He stared blankly at the face in his vision, not recognizing the features despite their familiarity. Suddenly, he became aware of someone else’s hands, warm and calloused, grabbing his own.

“Dex?” he croaked, blinking away tears that he hadn’t realized he’d shed. “Why are you still here?”

The technopaths eyebrows were furrowed, concern painted across his face. He gave a small laugh that didn’t seem ingenuine despite clearly not being humorous, and asked, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because I-” Fitz hiccuped softly, tears still running down his face and drying uncomfortably on his face, “I break everything I touch. See?” he gestured at the wreck over his shoulder. “I ruin everything good thing I have, but I’m still trying to hang on to you even though I’m just going to end up hurting you. You- you shouldn’t be here. Why are you here?”

The grip on his hands tightened, but immediately eased when he hissed in pain.

“That’s not true, FItz,” Dex insisted. “It’s not. You-” he paused, examining the crystal in his skin. “Let’s get these out first, but I can and will make an extensive list of all the reasons why you’re a good person and a good friend.”

“You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings,” he mumbled, doubting Dex’s words even as the other boy gently pried the shards out of his flesh, cradling his hands like he was someone worth caring about. “I know that I’m not someone- I mean, I’m likeable, but only if you don’t know me.I’m not loveable, not the way you are.”

“I love you,” Dex blurted out. Immediately, his eyes widened in surprise at himself, but he continued. “I do! I didn’t really mean to say that, but I really, really do think I love you.” Here, he took a breath, as if steeling himself for what he was about to do next. “Not just in a friend way, either. And sorry if that’s weird, or if this is the wrong time, which is definitely is-”

Fitz couldn’t help it. He kissed him. It wasn’t very elegant, their lips smushing together awkwardly and both of them not entirely prepared, but it felt right.

“I love you too,” he breathed out quietly, the moment feeling too intimate for anything louder than a whisper.

“Oh,” Dex was smiling uncontrollably. “Thanks.” He paused. “Wait, not ‘thanks’. That’s weird. That was a weird thing to say.”

“Yeah, it was,” Fitz laughed. “Good thing I like weird.”

They were both grinning like idiots now, staring lovestruck at each other and slowly leaning in. Their lips met again, and for that moment, Fitz felt all his troubles fade away. All that existed in the world was them, them and the way they held each other, them and the way he felt worthy. Loved. Valued for him.

[dumpster-fire-sapphic-failgirl]

One last post, this one about the disk horse itself

My posts, at the very least, are about Kipperlilly’s motivations

it might be romantic or it might be platonic, but Lucy was the one person Kipperlilly seemed to actually care about. And it being the love of the bestie or wanting to wife her is really beside the point bc either way Kipperlilly would be motivated to want her back

It certainly doesn’t matter if it’s reciprocated. Lucy might’ve just been trying to placate the mean girl in their group. Lucy might have despised Kipperlilly. She also might have been writing “KC+LF” in hearts in her notebooks. Whatever Lucy’s feelings, when presented with the choice of “stay dead and have your soul trapped” vs “come back to life and serve a rage god of the Hells” she chose to stay dead. Anything else is us projecting/coming up with fun stories

Kipperlilly was a kinda boring girl with shitty opinions. An entitled brat. But one that came up with the name “High Five Heroes”. And shitty entitled brats can have their worldview rocked and turn out okay later. We know she’s not uncomplicatedly good. I think that her being uncomplicatedly bad, knowing Brennan and the stories he tends to tell, is unlikely.

Hate her all you want. Let that righteous rage of Ankarna flow through you. Love her all you want. You might be falling prey to the Mastermind. Ship her like FedEx. I’m not your mom.

Anyway, that’s a lot of words to say that we still don’t have the whole story and it is just that, a story.

See you all Wednesday!

[angelasscribbles]

Listen. I know I say this at the beginning of every chapter, but it's true. Me, when I saw this was up:

What if I cry afterwards? Oh dear God, the horror! 

Oh dear Lord, this had me cackling!!!!

Days ago, Bertrand had looked up several stories online where men described having sex for the first time, and it did nothing to ease his mind. 

I’m gonna need a follow up one-shot, could be a drabble, that show us that!!! Because the mental image is hilarious!

“Bert..” She took his hand and pulled him toward her. “It’s really sweet of you to think of me. And honestly, I took a shower too.. Same reason.”

This is just heart-meltingly sweet!!!

The thought of getting to pleasure her later, sparked even more heat through his body.

Oh….my God!!!! This whole sequence, her being so damn solicitous of his feelings and then offering basically “extra credit”….to him being turned on by that offer…. You just covered fluffy, funny and smutty in one fell swoop!

He looked down shyly. “Yes. A couple days ago. I drove thirty minutes away, parked across the street from the store, wore sunglasses and a baseball cap, and paid in cash.. but I did it.”

OMG……

Bertrand shook his head with a smile. She was teasing him, but he didn’t feel embarrassed. He actually felt more at ease than before.

Oh….he’s comfortable with her now!!! Gah! The fluff, I can’t take it! He’s such a fucking cinnamon roll!!!

She always looked amazing, but he had never seen her look like this before, and his dick responded accordingly.

I’m a little jealous that I never thought up this line. Perfection!

All of it was exhilarating and comforting at the same time. 

Yeah,….because you love her!

The whole sequence is great, but this…this

She closed her eyes, and her plump, pink lips fell open as she gasped.

MUAH!!!

The imagery is just perfect!!!!

Stars swam in front of his eyes and he had to remind himself to breathe. It had all ended so quickly. His body was still trembling when he finally opened his eyes.

My God! That was….that was…..

That had never happened before.

Ohhhhh…..he likes the cuddling after!!

Bertrand couldn't help but wonder if this was what happened after real couples had sex.

Ah, this is sweet and sad at the same time!! Angsty as fuck!

one final thought seeped into his brain and he smiled before drifting off to sleep.

ah, he fell asleep in her bed? I need cuddling!!! Maybe morning sex.....

I am so stoked that it finally happened!!!!!!!

Now I'm going to need them to admit they fucking love each other! Let's go!

Never Have I Ever

Chapter 13 - Bring it Home

Book- TRR

Series- Never Have I Ever

Pairings- Bertrand x MC 

Chapter Synopsis- Bertrand and Riley finally go all the way.

Chapter Warnings- language, sex

Rating - Explicit

Word Count- 2,320

_________________________________

Chapter 13 - Bring It Home

Bertrand stood in front of his bathroom mirror, attempting to give himself a pep talk.

 Chin up, you’ve got this.. Just relax.. Stop worrying about your size or whether or not you’ll last long enough to actually give her an orgasm.. Damn it.. What if I had too much wine and can’t maintain an erection? What if I do something wrong and she laughs at me? What if I vomit from nerves? What if I cry afterwards? Oh dear God, the horror! 

She’s so experienced.. Why does she even want to do this with me, it’s going to be horrible for her!

Days ago, Bertrand had looked up several stories online where men described having sex for the first time, and it did nothing to ease his mind. 

His phone vibrated on the counter, jolting him out of his own head. It was from Riley, telling him she was ready. With one more deep breath, he opened the door and headed to Riley’s room, and into the unknown.

Riley answered the door in a tank top and pajama shorts, golden hair cascading across her shoulders. She smiled as he entered the room, looking him up and down. “Did you change clothes?”

“Oh.. uh.. Yes. I took a shower.”

“Really? You took a shower for me? That’s so cute!”

Bertrand flushed, “Was I not supposed to? I just wanted to make sure I was clean, so that this would be more of a pleasant experience for you, and-”

“Bert..” She took his hand and pulled him toward her. “It’s really sweet of you to think of me. And honestly, I took a shower too.. Same reason.”

He breathed a bit easier knowing that he didn’t do something laughable. He couldn’t bring himself to meet her emerald eyes, no matter how hard he tried. He had never been so nervous in all his life.

Riley sat on the bed. “Do you wanna talk about this first? Do you have any questions or requests?”

He had more questions than he knew what to do with, but instead of speaking, he just shook his head.

She smiled, “I know you well enough to know that you’re in your own head right now. Do you just want me to take the lead, and you tell me if there's something you do or don’t want to do when we get there?”

“That.. would be good.”

She pulled him down onto the bed, so he was seated beside her. “FYI- Don’t worry if you cum early. It’s your first time, so you probably will. All I want you to do is relax and enjoy this, and don’t worry about me.” 

Bertrand swallowed hard, “That makes me feel selfish.”

She smirked, “There are plenty of other ways I can get off later. And you can always help me and get in some extra practice.” 

The thought of getting to pleasure her later, sparked even more heat through his body.

“Oh!” Bertrand suddenly remembered, and awkwardly reached into his pocket, handing her a small packet. “I.. bought condoms.”

“You did?” She was practically beaming. “You actually went into a store and bought condoms?!”

He looked down shyly. “Yes. A couple days ago. I drove thirty minutes away, parked across the street from the store, wore sunglasses and a baseball cap, and paid in cash.. but I did it.”

“I’m so proud of you!” Riley looked at the package and read for a moment, before shaking her head. “Oh.. no, these are the wrong size.”

“I bought the smallest size they had!”

Riley threw her hand over her mouth and stifled a laugh, “No, that’s not it. These are way too small for you. You need a large, at least.”

Bertrand blushed deeply, “A large?! Are you sure?”

“Bert.. yes. You are definitely above average. Definitely. Like, way above average.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!” She chuckled. Riley reached over into her bedside table and pulled out a box, handing it to him. “I bought you some because I never in a million years would have guessed that you would buy them yourself. But you get all the bonus points for taking the initiative!”

Bertrand shook his head with a smile. She was teasing him, but he didn’t feel embarrassed. He actually felt more at ease than before.

“Alright,” Riley made her way across the room. “I’m going to set the mood, and we can get started.” Bertrand watched her light candles and dim the lights, before pulling off her clothes to reveal a red lacy set of bra and panties underneath.

“Holy..” He looked her up and down, only slightly ashamed of himself for being such a cad. She always looked amazing, but he had never seen her look like this before, and his dick responded accordingly.

She sauntered over to him with a wicked grin. “Bert?”

“Y-yes?” He barely managed to get the word out of his parched mouth.

“Kiss me.”

He stood abruptly and immediately obeyed, pressing his mouth to hers with a groan. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he let himself drown in her.. the smell of her skin, the taste and softness of her lips and tongue, her tender, yet confident touch, the sound of her breathing and moans while they kissed fervently.. All of it was exhilarating and comforting at the same time. 

Riley broke the kiss and began working on unbuttoning his shirt, while he started on his belt. His hands were shaking so badly, that he could barely even grip the zipper to lower it. After a moment, only his boxers remained, and Riley shamelessly let her eyes wander across his torso. She bit her lip and let her fingertips trail across his pecs, down his abs, and dip just below his waistline. 

His breath was coming out in ragged pants, and Riley took his hand, leading him over to the bed. With deft hands, she slid his boxers down, and took hold of his hardened length. A couple pumps along his shaft, and he was already trembling beneath her touch. 

“Lay down,” she instructed, and he did just that. She took a condom out of the box, held the package between her teeth and ripped it open. He watched as she slid the condom onto him, rolling it down to the base of his cock. “See? Perfect fit,” she said with a smirk.

Bertrand’s heart was hammering out of control. 

He was about to have sex. He was about to have sex. He was about to have sex!

Riley removed her bra and panties slowly, making sure to give him a long glimpse of her naked body before she climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. Bertrand shuddered in anticipation, looking into her eyes.

Riley leaned forward and whispered in his ear, her warm breath sending shivers through him. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” He replied breathlessly.

RIley took hold of his cock, teasing him against her slick entrance, and his body thrummed in anticipation. . Suddenly, it was as if time stopped and nothing else in the universe existed. A guttural moan fell from his lips as she slowly pushed him inside her. He had expected it to feel good, but never could have imagined this. She was so warm, so wet, so tight, and so soft as she slid all the way down to the base of his cock.

“Oh my god.. Bert..” She closed her eyes, and her plump, pink lips fell open as she gasped.

Bertrand was momentarily pulled from his mind blowing bliss. “Are you ok?”

Her eyes flew open and she swallowed hard. “I am fucking fantastic.”

She braced herself against his chest and lifted her hips before sliding all the way back down. Once. Twice. Three times.. 

Bertrand gasped and panted, sure that the sounds coming from him weren’t even human, but that of some kind of feral animal. The pressure inside him was quickly reaching its peak and it had only been a minute or two. 

Riley leaned forward and took his face in her hands, kissing him softly. “You're trembling.”

It took him a moment to realize that indeed he was. His body was shaking like a leaf beneath her. She ran her fingers through his hair and began leaving kisses against his jaw. 

“I’m.. s-sorry..” he managed to get out.

“Don’t be..” She leaned up to kiss his forehead and the friction of her sliding forward on his cock made him gasp loudly. “I want you to let go now.”

“Not yet,” He replied, “It hasn’t been long enough for you!” Or me. He had a feeling that even if he spent 24 hours a day inside of her, it still wouldn’t be long enough for him. 

“Bertrand, I want you to cum. Don’t hold back.” Riley sat up and rolled her hips back and forth and he groaned. 

Her fingernails pressed into his chest and she continued to rock against him. Her perky breasts bounced with each roll of her hips, and it was all too much.The pressure inside of him had reached its blinding peak and he had no choice other than to let go.

“Ohhh, oh god.. oh god!” Bertrand inadvertently thrust up into her as his dick pulsed repeatedly, emptying spurts of warm ejaculate into her. His fingers threaded through hers and he grasped her hands tightly, while the most intense pleasure of his life surged through him.

Stars swam in front of his eyes and he had to remind himself to breathe. It had all ended so quickly. His body was still trembling when he finally opened his eyes.

Riley was biting her lip, smiling with a mixture of pride and lust. “You did so well.”

Bertrand tried to respond, but his mouth was too dry. Riley lifted herself off of him and he instantly missed the feeling of her warmth. She reached over to the bedside table and handed him a bottle of water. 

She pulled the condom off of him and smirked as she held it up. “Wow.. wish that was inside me right now..”

Bertrand choked on a drink of water, and heat surged through him. “W-what?!”

She turned toward him with a rueful grin. “Sorry.. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I'm not saying I want to get pregnant or anything! I’m on the pill! I just meant.. I just like.. Nevermind, I’m going to stop talking now.”

Bertrand smiled. It was nice to see her get flustered for once. 

“So, was it.. Was everything.. Ok?” He asked hesitantly.

She smiled and stroked his arm. “It was great. You were great. How do you feel?”

“Spectacular,” Bertrand replied. Although spectacular didn’t begin to describe it. 

Riley leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, kissing him softly. The kiss felt different than the usual ones they shared before a lesson.. Maybe because these particular kisses came after a lesson.

That had never happened before.

Their lips continued to move together, growing more insistent with each passing second. Riley wrapped her leg around him and scooted herself closer against his body. She pulled back and looked down with a devious grin. “You’re hard again.”

Bertrand’s cheeks flushed pink, “Oh.. yes.”

“We could go again.. If you're up for it?”

What he wanted to do was scream hell yes, but what he actually did was reply calmly, “Yes, I’m up for it.”

This time, Bertrand put the condom on himself and positioned himself on top of her. He was much more nervous in this position because he’d have more control, but more than anything, he wanted to be inside her again. Riley impatiently grabbed his hips and pulled him down, lining him up with her entrance. 

“Fuck me, Bert.” 

The tantalizing command had barely left her perfect lips before he obeyed, pushing slowly inside of her with a groan. Gasps and moans filled the room as they soon found a rhythm. Bertrand was in paradise, and found himself creeping closer to the edge with each thrust.

Emboldened by her moans, he reached his hand down and began rubbing soft circles against her clit. 

Riley gasped, “Yes! That’s it.. Keep doing that.”

The second time being inside of her was just as amazing as the first and he knew he wasn't going to last much longer. “I’m close, Riley..” He panted, “Sorry.. I’m just so close already..”

“Me too,” She breathed out softly, before running her fingers across his back. “Oh god, you feel so good inside me.” Her legs wrapped around his hips, urging him deeper. “Keep going.. Harder!”

Bertrand continued thrusting his hips into her warmth, deeper and faster, all the while circling her clit and suddenly her body tensed. “Yes! Don’t stop!” She dug her nails into his flesh and Bertrand’s body succumbed to the absolutely overwhelming pleasure.. Pleasure that was exponentially enhanced by the fact that he had just given her an orgasm during sex.

The two gasped and moaned and panted, simultaneously chasing their orgasms to completion. 

Bertrand’s arms trembled and he fought to keep himself above her, but Riley pulled him down so he was pressed flush against her bare chest. She wrapped her arms around him while she caught her breath, and Bertrand couldn't help but wonder if this was what happened after real couples had sex.

Even though they weren't a couple and never would be, he let himself indulge in the fantasy for the next ten minutes or so, until they reluctantly separated.

Riley was in the restroom, while Bertrand lay on her bed, attempting to come down from the most incredible night of his life. Lying contentedly on her soft sheets, one final thought seeped into his brain and he smiled before drifting off to sleep.

I’m not a virgin anymore.

[theshebinator]

Two, Gaty, and Algebraliens' relationship to objects

(I had more to say)

I said earlier that Algebraliens don't really care about objectkind's feelings or desires or... even their safety most of the time. And you might say "But, Sheb! What about Two and Gaty?"

You think I haven't thought about them? Jokes on you, I think about them a LOT.

Here's the thing about Algebraliens who interact frequently with objects: objects are means to an end. Four wanted to host BFDI, he didn't care about who participated as long as the game went how he wanted. Two wanted to host a show, so they enticed 60% of Four's game to join them instead. One wants more power, and Two's contestants are her way to see to it. One way or another, objects are just that: objects.

Algebraliens are all powerful and, supposedly, live lifetimes longer than objects. Why interact with them if they can't be used to get what they want?

But, objects sure are cute, aren't they? They have their competitions, their interpersonal squabbles, their fleeting bonds and interests. It's kind of like watching cartoon characters to Algebraliens. And, like us, they have favorites.

Four and X seem to really like Clock. Spending time with just one object seems to have a profound effect on an Algebralien. Suddenly, they mean a lot and are an individual. Granted, Four and X treat Clock like a purse dog, but they still like him a lot and are pretty upset when he leaves.

Two is more invested in objects and their lives, but still in that detached authority figure way. They feel responsible for their contestants. They even provide food and shelter and PLATES! They're kind but there's still a barrier.

Except with Gaty. Gaty showed interest in Two, and Two is happy to talk about themself to the point where they confide in Gaty about personal insecurities. And Gaty listens and she remembers and she UNDERSTANDS. She understands Two. She's not just another contestant anymore, shes Gaty. Their Gaty.

But, does Two know anything about Gaty?

It's a lot of Two confiding in Gaty and less Gaty confiding in Two. They like her because she's a good listener and likes to hear them talk. She's the only person who does, it seems. Gaty never says anything to the contrary.

Two is also notably bad at realizing they've overstepped. At the end of the day, Two still believes their will is the most correct. Winner didn't want special treatment, and Two only felt bad after Winner lashed out. It's not that Two didn't know they were giving Winner and Clock special treatment, it's that they don't CARE until it affects them.

Gaty's elimination breaks Two's heart, and I'm sure they mean well by hiding her with Four and X. But, is that what Gaty wants? She's pretty vocal about following the rules of the game and, like Pin, dislikes cheating. Isn't this cheating? Isn't this special treatment AGAIN?

Two didn't consider this. If they did, they would have known Gaty wouldn't have wanted this. But, they weren't thinking. Because, to Two, what they want trumps all. They wanted Winner and Clock to make up, so they went against Winner's wishes and only felt bad when Winner got mad at THEM. But, they didn't make it right even after!!

The way Gaty's face drops when Two leaves the kitchen in TPOT 15. She isn't happy here. She doesn't want to upset Two, but she's not happy. She knows what's going on.

And you know who else knows? One. Unknowingly, Two painted a target on Gaty's back the moment they bonded.

Now, I NEEEED to stress to yall with discourse brain that I am NOT saying TwoGaty is bad and you can't ship it. I ship them like fucking FedEx. I'm driving the truck delivering them to Make Out Island. I love them dearly. Their imbalance is WHY I like the ship, in fact!!

Also, it's equally important to note that Two isn't a bad person. They don't do any of this on purpose, they're just ignorant. All Algebraliens are to a degree. As long as Two believes what they do is ultimately for a greater good, they're unable to understand how they have doomed Gaty.

I don't even think they understand it now. Gaty is gone, and they think the universe has essentially deleted her. But, maybe this is the start of Two understanding.

I also think Gaty needs to be firm with Two about how she isn't happy with their treatment. It's a lack of communication in that regard. Two needs to learn to listen, and Gaty needs to learn to speak.

As they currently are, One has prime opportunity to turn Gaty against Two. And I think she'll try, too. Gaty is special to Two, and I don't think One can resist a little gaslighting.

Why didn't Two stop the universe collapsing, Gaty? Wouldn't that be something they could do? Or would Two cut their losses and move on? Why should they care about this world when they can just hop to another and start over? They've lived thousands of your lifetime, Gaty. There are other playthings, you're just one in a long, long line. They'll forget about you in no time, Gaty. They aren't coming to save you, Gaty. You think you can save them too, but you're just a little mortal. Easily forgotten, easily replaced.

But, I like you. You can stay here with me, Gaty. Don't you love being an Algebralien's little pet, Gaty? I'll take such good care of you. You never needed Two, you just need me.

So, basically, after all this, Two and Gaty and need to go to therapy.