#still not the Joy expert but im working on it

[rayyawoo013]

Hi, there. This is a request someone left me. It was: "Could you draw Anxiety crying and Joy comfort her" I believe. But I deleted it by accident trying to see if I could save it as a draft :(

I don't remember their user, but I hope they find it. It made me really happy (sorry it's unpolished).

Also, thank you to the people that followed and the several others that supported that one Anxiety page! blew me away, truly.

Don't have much to offer right now, but here's this WIP for an Anxiety drawing I'm working on,

I promise it's looking better than *that*

[amogus-real-not-clickbait]

dear NATM fandom. i have returned

after over a month of hard work and totally not fixating on moomins

i present to you the JEDTAVIUS SHIMEJI beta v.1!!!!!!

aka i burned myself out and had to get something out before my motivation completely dies!

mediafire link (lmk if i should add a google drive as well)

some more info:

release notes:

They cannot throw windows or divide yet. Sorry if you were counting on that, but i had to cut down on stuff in order to not abandon the project altogether. I will add more stuff in the future if i have the motivation

There was little to no alpha testing so i don't know if everything is 100% right. Please report anything that looks weird/out of place. Also lmk if i should tweak the chances of actions happening. The one that worries me the most is the hug action, bc i set the number so much lower than in the example. I hope they still can hug naturally

known issues:

Please watch the official FAQ first, I'm not a shimeji expert and can't help you with most problems

There may be gaps when shimejis interact w/ windows, this is an issue with shimejis in general, just felt like saying it bc it bothers me (especially when they climb to the top of the window)

idk if it's just me but they won't jump from window edges. they just stand there awkwardly and trip

personal thoughts:

Woah. This is my first time finishing a project like this. Even if it's cut down and not fully how i imagined it. My brain cannot comprehend this yet, but i will try to be proud of myself for this. I hope you enjoy this creation of mine. Thanks to everyone who was excited about this, i would totally give up without you. Special thanks to people who helped me brainstorm, and @ardent-w who helped a lot with brainstorming and coloring (and emotional support)

i thought it would be good to get these out on valentines so they can keep you company if you're feeling especially lonely today! or any other day, i just hope they can bring people joy, that's all :] now don't mind me, im off to eat lots of overpriced candy

[mononijikayu]

kayu's playlist - side 800;

“Will you wed me? On the morrow?”

Satoru’s question hung in the air, a whisper filled with promise and longing. His eyes searched yours, looking for the answer he already knew but needed to hear. The sincerity in his gaze, the way he held you as if you were the most precious thing in the world, made your heart swell with emotion.

hello, this is kayu!

i haven't written to all of you in a while. but here i am. i write to you all in gratitude for being so kind to me and being so fond of my writing. i express nothing but gratitude. you have all been so good to me and i would like to return that with little gifts.

i dabbled in fanfiction almost a decade or so ago and i've been taken to multiple fandoms over the years. and im very thankful that you have all been receptive to my works here too, with warm welcome.

ive spent much of my holiday just writing here, because it makes me genuinely so happy. and it makes me happy that you enjoy it with me. 800 hundred of you - i still can't believe it! i am just full of gratitude!

as i said to all of you, i was going to do a poll on how to do this playlist. and the result was this:

i voted too, as you can see! and as promised, i'll be writing the winners within the course of this week! the runner ups will end up seeing the light of day, but i just don't know when. until then, i hope you enjoy what i write up and enjoy them with me!

xoxoxoxo kayu

◤─────•~❉✿❉~•─────◥

the dragon and the maiden fair ─── gojo satoru.

◣─────•~❉✿❉~•─────◢

His bright blue gaze remarked each movement of your face as laughter echoed at each and every joke, every quip. There was true joy in the beams of your eyes. Satoru Targaryen must admit that he thinks no one has ever truly looked at him with such warmth. No one had ever been this joyful being by his side. No one but you.

━─━────༺༻────━─━

◤─────•~❉✿❉~•─────◥

from the start ─── fushiguro megumi.

◣─────•~❉✿❉~•─────◢

But Megumi was never good with words. He didn’t know how to reach you, how to express the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him every time you smiled at him. He watched from afar as you navigated relationships, your heart occasionally given to others, always returning to him as a friend. He told himself it was enough, that he could be content just being part of your life.

━─━────༺༻────━─━

◤─────•~❉✿❉~•─────◥

i wanna be your slave ─── ryomen sukuna.

◣─────•~❉✿❉~•─────◢

Sukuna’s pace never faltered as he drove into you with relentless intensity, your body arching under his expert touch. His dark red eyes were dark with desire, a mix of possession and something deeper that flickered within their depths. He knows he owns you, and yet somehow — he still wants more of you. He still craves to own you. Over and over, each night he asks for your presence, to take you over and over. He still wants more. He still has the greed, the hunger to want more.

[autumnbrambleagain]

the contrast between how there are two pieces of internet media that did "what is it like to be immortal? what would the genuine joy of it be, and how would it be an ontological nightmare?"

that the internet put out two incredible pieces of high quality media dealing with this topic,

and one is a mixed-media story about space probes watching football,

and the other is a porn game with every Unspeakable Fetish,

and for the fucking life of me i can't be sure which one did it better

i can't decide and sometimes i think 17776 still comes out the loser in comparison to paraphore and how hard it makes it to recommend to people to play paraphore despite, in my literal expert opinion (have a degree (graduate)), it being one of the better works of new literature ive ever experienced

and im' rereading 17776/20020 and it's just making me want to go through paraphore again

[jpeg-dot-jpeg]

jpeg my beloved!!! 3, 8, 11, 16 for fandom asks please? xoxo 💕

(only a small number of questions from bean??? wild...)

'a small number of questions' you say while still asking more than the average 😂🤭<3

3. a character that fandom has helped you appreciate

Damian Wayne! As someone with a younger sibling with a similar age gap to what tim and damian have (in theory), everything about his character made me want to punt him like a football. cain instinct full throttle. However, lots of fantastic works surrounding him have helped me come to observe aspects of his character other than 'annoying younger sibling.'

8. a blog (mutual or one you follow) that has made your fandom experience brighter

Darling, I would be remiss not to acknowledge you and @bi-bats for being some of my very first friends within the fandom and encouraging me to become a bigger part of it <3<3<3

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

okay this might sound goofy but. im so proud of my little batblobs. they're just fun to make and they've brought a lot of people joy. i hope those silly doodles inspire people who feel like they cant contribute to fandom with creating expert level artwork <3

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

JASON TODD IS FUNCTIONALLY YOUNGER THAN TIM DRAKE. look i know we love the dynamic of jason being the older brother/more experienced partner because woobifying tim is fun, but i will never stop screaming about how Jason is mentally 3.5 years younger than his 'legal' age. After dying he spent 6 months being dead, 1 year in a coma, 1 year catatonic on the streets, and 1 year catatonic with the League before Talia dunked him in the lazarus pit. obviously canon is a tangled mess and people are free to explore whichever version of it they like best, but?? the angst potential?? jason coming back to gotham as an 'adult' but still only having the life experience of a 15 year old?? im SCREAMING. Give me a jason who's like 'actually, tim, im younger than you, so how about YOU be the bigger person here.' thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[bharv]

Hello mighty mizora! Big fan here of your work the way you write is so mesmerizing honestly im always in awe!! I have a small question i hope its not annoying i've asked this question to another writer who i liked once but they were so mean to me back so i understand that maybe its not the best question to be asked but i have ADHD and i need alittle direction so i hope maybe you can give me some (its totally okay if you dont want to ! ) Do you have any pointers to someone who has never wrote anything past school essays and to do lists if they want to start writing fanfiction and have it be nice and expressive? I have so many ideas i write them down write 5 sentences thats like a summray maybe a few sentences of some scenes of romance sorta like a small outline it feels so dry... And i dont know what to do past that... Essays had structures and preferred starting intros and all that but i feel lost when i try and start a story, i know myself and i know once i start i will not shut up but starting feels like a wall and i dont know how to climb yk ?

Hey pal!

Firstly thank you so much and also I'm sorry you had a bad experience with another writer. You've asked this so nicely. And apologies for this being delayed I thought I had clicked post but I'd saved the draft again!

So I'm not going to claim to be an expert in this but the way I approach this is:

I start with what I want to say with a piece. What do I want to explore? What do I hope the reader will take away from it? I then jot those down for myself at the top of the document, just like you describe with your summary! If this changes as I discover things that's okay, but it's kind of my road map.

I usually also start in the middle of some action, or with a line of dialogue. Honestly you don't have to do this at all but the joy of fanfiction is you don't have to do loads of exposition! People know who the characters are and you can dive into things! It means you get stuck right in which I personally like.

I also don't write chronologically! I think we can get so stuck on things. I think of writing a story like pruning a garden, so I might write some "holding sentences" per scene and then work on scenes as they come to me. It's a good way to build up the bits as you are inspired. You can see this really clearly in a piece like Blood and Bone which is very sparse, some of the holding sentences in that fic are still in there.

When it comes to dialogue, I use the actioning method used in acting and I work out what people want to do by saying something. I like when characters don't say things outright, but say a hundred words by what they don't say. A character can say I love you, and it's good, but what if they say I don't want you to leave? What is left in the gaps?

When it comes to description I think I have a long way to go honestly but again. What are people seeing, smelling, tasting, seeing touching? What is their primary sense? Does it evoke anything else for them, or are they entirely in the moment? This can vary from character to character.

Another thing to think of is variant rhythm. Once you have a first draft down, go over it again and look at sentence structure. Can you add variation by changing the length of sentences? Can you tell a story in the rhythms you use? I'm a big fan of long run on sentences in romance showing a character losing control, for example.

And the big secret honestly is... you might well find your writing a bit dry! I find mine dry! I look at it squinting, asking whether the sex is sexy or if it's just way too out there or just completely misses the mark. We only really know when other eyes get to see it.

I hope that's helpful!

[loaffofbred]

A lil analysis or insight of Q!Foolish's actions in todays QSMP dinner event

Before diving in, keep in mind im discussing roleplay and the fictional characters! All are purely fiction ^^

The main question people probably have is, why? Why would Foolish do that exactly? For anyone who doesn't watch Foolish's POV often, I'll try to simplify most of his motives and actions since they may seem random to others but is actually reasonable in a way when you think of his character a lot more. I'm not an expert in his character in any way, this is just how i interpret most of his actions!

Foolish arrested Pac and Mike by the request of Cucurucho or the Federation. After this and the interrogation, Foolish also lied to Jaiden about a portion of what the request entailed. He lied about the fact there was a choice between the arrest of Tazercraft and the death of Richarlyson. Jaiden told this without really knowing it was a lie, and spread it to Cellbit and the others. Foolish knew this was going to happen, and didn't have any hard feelings about it at the end. Thats basically the summary of what happened! So, based on Foolish's actions, who exactly is he siding with?

To put it simply, no one! Based on the way he words his mission with the federation, and the way he feels about both Pac and Mike, he wasn't necessarily benefiting much from the arrest. From his own words, he kinda just did it for shits and giggles. He didn't have any bad intentions to begin with. But there are certain underlying possible implications of his actions that may relate to more motives.

Getting on the Federation's good side

- Foolish has by far been the Federation's no. 1 supporter and defender. He expressed his support in them since almost day 1, where he wasn't entirely even against them to begin with. He was simply suspicious, but then when he found the cloud, there was a certain switch in his intentions. This time, he can GAIN something out of supporting them, he knows how powerful the federation is, so simply pandering to their liking is a benefit! Not only to himself, but also his family, specifically Leo and Vegetta. It makes them less of a target, and may gain something out of simply being buddy buddy's with them. To put it simply, keep your friends close but your enemies closer, he has far more benefits (maybe selfish ones but still benefits) in being for them than against them.

Chaotic personality

If you aren't familiar with Foolish's overall personality, hes basically somewhat chaotic neutral. He doesn't necessarily have any malice against anyone, and is mostly doing things for the sake of his own satisfaction or joy. When he's bored, he'll probably blow something up or burn something if there wasn't rules. He considers others emotions, but mostly thinks of the best way for him to benefit out of a situation. Even if that action only steers the pot, that's basically the point! If anything, he could've been a lot more devious and deceptive about his arrest yet was still somewhat honest with what happened because there wasn't bad intentions to begin with, his actions has benefited but also highly disadvantaged the federation's image and intentions. He had:

- Arrested Pac and Mike

- Yet arrested them in the most public way possible

- Had lied about the original mission

- Yet further ruined the Federation's image and intentions

- Had publicly supported the Federation

- Yet had ACTIVELY gone against them by hiding a gun/s

Like he said himself, he isn't working FOR them necessarily. He refused to even imply that he was an employee or member to begin with. His chaotic personality is a double edged sword, he's unpredictable. This can be an advantage and disadvantage to anyone he considers an ally or friend.

In simple terms, hes quite a chaotic character! He doesn't do sides in particular, more or so he thinks of what he gets out of a situation, or even just does it for the sake of doing it. Do that info as you will.

But the far more interesting question for me is, why Foolish? Why choose Foolish for this mission? Is it because he was easy to manipulate? But doesn't the Federation have some suspicion on Foolish having extra guns? Why choose, OUT OF ANYONE, the one person who has defied the law to reinforce it? It's ironic that Foolish would be the person to arrest someone while he himself has illegal items! I dont know the Federation's intentions, but I feel like they aren't done with Foolish yet, I feel like because of how easy he obeys orders, he could be used for other possible missions again.

tho idk, maybe not. Who knowsss?~

anyways, thats about all i can ramble! hope it was understandable lel

[jackalopescruff]

have you made a post or anything talking about being a therian and like, how you came to realize it and stuff? im questioning myself and was hoping maybe, as a longtime follower of yours, your experience (any amount of it really) could help me out. no need to push urself to explain or anything of course!! i appreciate you being open about it in general ❤️

I never made a generalized post about it really since I'm very much a private introspective person (usually bounce things off my wife and my closest friends) and of course sought out input from Therian pals to help unpack my feelings but! with the disclosure that I'm still relatively new to this whole thing, and am by no means an expert I can offer a little insight to some of the stuff but I'll be brief. (Other Therian folks who are following me feel free to reblog and add your own insight for anon I wont mind at all!)

My realization definitely stemmed a lot in part I believe from not only my own journey and struggle with my Trans identity which had its own ups and downs, how even after feeling comfortable in a certain gender expression and identity there was still some itching piece that was not falling into place. Because while I felt very happy with being a "woman of my own making" (pat on my back because that was my rawest line from my own gender journey while i was working my ass off in a warehouse talking to my wife on the sly on my earbuds) I knew something else was there nagging at me beyond being a Non Binary Trans Woman.

With having Autism there is already that feeling of out of place that you get with being separate from society and its standards as a whole and at first a lot of my feelings on non-humanism I chalked up to the dehumanizing that autistic folks face as part of society expecting us to mold to the standards they practice and demand so it went left unexplored for some time because I just figured "yeah I'm autistic of course I feel out of place in 'normal' society" (again the language here not implying its wrong to be me or autistic obviously) But once around friends and people I trusted who didn't other me for my transness or my autism that itch still persisted.

My being a furry helped me explore more animal mannerisms and behaviors just out of the fact that its furry community we get sillay. But the more I acted on certain things (barking, meowing, various other noises) as well as more referential to myself not as a human but as a Dragon, Bear, Dog etc just a change of language as part of the fun I started noticing those same warm feelings as I did when I started new pronouns or names, the social feelings of being referred to with things that otherwise I wouldn't normally experience. My fascination with nature, my love of the outdoors beyond just the joy of fresh air the actual genuine peace that I'd feel in the woods away from society as a large, listening to all the other animals in the trees feeling the sun and wind on my face how it deeply went into me in some spot inside me that I never really knew was there at least never knew how to acknowledge how it felt like each breath filled my body with this new life I hadn't known.

My wife knew she was Therian first, and through her I explored myself and began to realize that I probably was too. With insight from other pals who also were Therian and just a general fact that I am not afraid to just sit down and look myself in the mirror in a sense and unpack shit when I need to I really just had this sudden explosion of "oh wow this is what it was, this is that itchy piece" I am beyond happy with where the journey has already taken me and I do not feel shame to be that which I am. My wife, my friends, plenty of people around me encouraged, nurtured, and embraced who I was.

So now yeah, my wife and I spend a lot of time speaking with body language and make little barks and reh's and howls and noises at each other instead of words because its freeing to be able to talk with your body and eyes and be understood, especially with autism, being able to be non verbal but still communicate brought such peace and joy. Being able to escape life in society and build a bedroom den and hang vines up in our bathroom and build our own burrow with moss and leaves and just curl up and feel cozy and safe is so comforting and warm.

I know its not a thing everyone gets, and I know its a stigma because "you are bound by your flesh" but much like being trans the flesh is only a small part of what makes us, Us and our soul is much brighter and deeper than anything that our exterior can show. So I may be constrained by limited avenues of external physical expression but that shouldn't stop me from letting my soul soar and be as bright and passionate as it can be.

[sasoxichomoshi]

hey! i'm planning on writing a lol vampire au heavily inspired by castlevania and i want nilah as one of the protagonist monster hunters, but i have very little idea on how to write her. there are veeeery few good nilah fics (and i found only one that was nilah-centric) so i dont have much fan material to base myself on.

i find nilah really hard to write because we don't know a lot about her prior to ashlesh and writing a character that only feels ona emotion is a challenge. i still intend on making ashlesh and their deal a thing (although not necessarily as extreme as the runeterra version) but I really wanted to hear from the greatest nilah expert out there. do you have any tips/suggestions? what are things you feel are missing in most nilah fanworks?

i always wanted to make an overall guide on how to write nilah, but never felt comfortable in doing so, but hey now i have an excuse!! thanks frend

first i want to say that most of fanfics out there are fine and there are even some of them i like a lot despite not agreeing the way they write nilah (i guess that's what we call creative freedom lol), and nonetheless im very grateful for people picking her to write about

that said, yes you are totally right, nilah is hella difficult to write, like god level difficulty, because not only you have to know nilah, but if you're going to write her having any interaction with another character you have to know that character too (more than superficial knowledge); for example, nilah often refers to another people by their *full name* or titles, so it's something you have to keep in mind (the only exception i can imagine to this is if she's faking not knowing something for the sake of a higher objective that cannot be achieved by the use of brute force)

nilah unending happiness might sound like a big problem, but it has to be one of the most chill parts of her character; usually people tend to focus too much on the happy side of the thing, and in fact she doesn't work like this!

nilah is happy all the time yes, but it works more like a feeling of excitement than of genuine happiness, and the thing is: nilah feels other things too. well, she doesn't feel them literally, but she *believes* she feels them, it's her human part rationally thinking and mentally pointing "oh now i should feel anger" "now it's a moment of sorrow" and the moment the thought leads to a feeling, it is immediately cut by her curse

nilah lives by her principles and values inherited from her human part and past, and that's what she uses to guide her. all her feelings are suppressed by ashlesh, so she has to rely on her logic, basically

the demon's influence feels much like a grasp; it feels like its hands tightly holds nilah's head; ashlesh is oppressive, he's always watching her... and she still keeps him in control through her rituals and meditations (and even with her intelligence)

people overlook this one too, but nilah is very smart and cunning; years of reading made her a walking encyclopedia, and her tongue can be as sharp as her urumi, BUT her spiritual training with the seventh layer order also made her mindful and sensible: she's smart, but she'll only use knowledge for good; she's cunning, but she won't be if unnecessary or for personal gain.

she weighs the consequences of her actions especially when interacting with other people (which brings me to another point that nilah navigates interaction by social cues, she guesses the pattern and goes by it cause 1) she only feels joy and 2) she's contacting another cultures and lands, so it's kinda of a process of trial and error)

also, if i may say, the impression "an intimate evening at oyster bill's" gives about nilah is that she can read intentions very clearly (probably an ability she got from ashlesh), she may not know why people act the way they do, but she knows when someone is lying or being honest (or threatening her)

with these explanations in mind, here's a quick guide by topics to follow when writing nilah

INTERACTIONS

she's very reserved about herself and her past - even when writing her paired with someone, i dont think she would talk about herself, her past is forgotten and she lost herself to joy, remember that

she's moderate when speaking - if you're going to make her sound happy, do it with balance, the only moment she sounds exceptionally happy and excited is in battle

she's not emotional (logically) - she wont act "in the heat of the moment", as i said, she's thoughtful with her actions

ashlesh also "interacts" with other people - tho of what we have been presented so far makes him looks mysterious, here i believe people SHOULD flex, go for your imagination

INNER THOUGHTS

if you feel like really writing her PoV, try to follow that idea of the logical thinking i explained above and keep it short and objective

you can also describe ashlesh's influence for that emotional seasoning (as i explained above)

but (and it's my personal favorite) you can also totally avoid diving into nilah's PoV for that mystery flavor that works so well with her - no one understands her and trying to do so can create interesting settings

MANNERISMS

she always uses people full names or titles - and in this case using titles when not sure about the characters full names can help, but i advise not overuse it

whenever nilah speaks with someone, insert small mentions of recitations during the interaction - with parsimony, the better use of it happens as a tool to drive conversations; nilah can use it to avoid a question, change topics or end conversations (and the inverse can happens too!!), be creative when use it and be sure to include meaningful conversations/interaction between her lil' recitations

nilah make use of mudras, hand gestures - they can be widely used to be honest (it's more frequent when she do recitations/meditates), but you can also make creative use of it (e.g. she inserts signs in the middle of the mudras to sneakily pass a message)

DON'Ts (personal opinion)

avoid making her childish like the hell

dont make her have the joker smile all the time please please please

she doesnt laugh at everything

this one is veryyy particular of me, but nilah wont go out there mentioning ashlesh name or saying things like "this is ashlesh the lord of joy, one of the ten kings, demon of the seventh layer and i control it blah blah blah" - even if she's asked directly i doubt she would give a full answer, AGAIN she's thoughtful and objective, she wont go out there giving this kind of information for free, avoid this

i think these are my main points, ofc dont let them hold yourself on some idea, i really dont wanna hurt any creative thought by somehow "imposing" my views

something that i always have in mind is that everyone is writing nilah's epic somehow, and i believe nilah would like to see everyone's thoughts about her turning into stories

thanks so much for the ask, and sorry for the delay (and maybe i wrote it too big lol), if you have another questions please it will be a pleasure to answer them ^u^

[elfrootenthusiast]

Take this as permission to ramble about an oc <3

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY CASSIE TIME

every1 look @ her outfits........ if u dont want to read th worlds longest oc lore dump u can go in #party rat, #cassie, or #boss cass and learn literally everything u need 2 know abt her frm context clues

SO THATS CASSIEEE my mgs oc ✨ aka cassandra aka cass aka party rat aka my baby

looong story short she was your classic mgs child soldier with a streak of bad luck until she tried to KILL big boss in the late 1960s. she was one of the first poor bastards he took under his wing and following the dubiously canon events of the san hieronymo incident she became one of the original members of the foxhound unit: solitary shrike.

obviously that code name sucks ASS and honestly so did she; she was moody, rude, violent and didnt work well with others. absolutely no joy or whimsy until she met some british asshole named lance hewitt, codename bengal tiger, and got paired up with him. they proceeded to survive a catastrophic near death mission that changed the trajectories of their lives FOREVER on account of they emerged from it so ride or die for each other that they began matching each others freak to an inadvisable degree.

she changed her name (surprise her given name isnt cassandra. only 3 people in the whole world know what it used to be and im not one of those people) and her code name to reflect the "new her" she wanted to cultivate after facing death, branding herself "party rat." the goal? fill whatever life she had left with as much joy, love & fun as she possibly could. she was going to sing as loud as she wanted, dance as wild as she felt like, and finally stop holding herself back from fully connecting with the people around her. to solidify this, as well as to show her complete and utter over the top devotion to him, she took on lances last name, finally becoming the cassandra hewitt we all know + love

now a member of the MSF cass works as an engineer sergeant, chief mechanic, & generally invents a bunch of highly questionable weapons and machines. she also operates on the field as a demolitions expert for her squad, which grows to include an absolute dickhead named joaquin gutierrez, or mangey jackal. though she tries to embrace her new party spirit and the "peace and love" vibes of the time, he singles out bengal for some intensive one on one training and eventually pushes him to the point of breaking, making cass snap and quite literally bite his ear off. but like. he was fine. and everyone got better. and she taught him how to do the hustle as a peace offering. nothing a little disco cant fix.

back to the Plot: she eventually gets wrapped up in the creation of metal gear zeke, and was one of the weak points exploited by paz that allowed her to hijack it later on. she meets her canonical end during the ground zeroes incident, dying alone in the lower levels after sending her squadmates ahead to buy time. she blowed up </3

in alternate timelines where she survives she loses her left arm and occasionally her leg below the knee as well. as a sole survivor she becomes tangled in a web between big boss, zero, and cipher, creating a PMC of her own in order to pick up the pieces and continue the legacy left to her. she also begins raising the clone sons of her late best friend as her own but THATS neither here nor there <- dont even worry about it if the others survive she manages to slip from the attention of the higher ups and settles on creating a relief network with amanda valenciano libre, an old friend from her time in the msf. no matter what, cass maintains a stubborn belief that unless shes seen the bodies of her friends theyre still alive, which means she cant rest until shes found them. even if it takes Nine Years

ANYWAYS LIKE. tldr: shes like if pinkie pie had a party cannon that killed people for realsies

[ryuuthefluffybunny]

*~how to work on your inner child~*

the way i think of the inner child is it is the you from the past who existed freely, without restraint. it holds the hopes and dreams you had before they were crushed. who you were before you were molded to become better fit for society. they still have all the little quirks that people found annoying, they still believe in the goodness of world. they still believe in you. and this person is still inside of you, hiding, waiting to feel accepted. 

there will be 2 piles and im using the inner child oracle by amanda hails(they each have a passage and i will quote it) and motivational cards. ill put an inner child exercise at the end

*sorry for the awkwardly lit pictures i had to aim a flashlight at them so my shadow didnt cover everything :p i just wanted to include them because the art in the inner child deck is so beautiful and its def one of my favorite decks to the point where i bought two initially and gave one to my sibling*

♡ Pile 1 ♡

inner child: Remember the good “In life, it can be easy to focus on what is missing, on what could be better. But if that is where our attention stays, it will hinder us in being able to absorb the magic of living. Take time today to purposefully acknowledge the good things in your life, those that are around you and those that you have accomplished.”

motivational: “Love overcomes every obstacle”, “It doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger”, “Escape the ordinary”

life feels monotonous, and that is because nothing you do is ever enough. you were taught in the past to stick to the status quo and endlessly grind for progression. yet, no matter how much you accomplish, you find yourself bored and unsatisfied with the results because what you are working on is not something that is authentic to yourself. you may be good at it, you may be an expert even, but it doesn't excite or fulfill you in the slightest. it feels easy to you, and then it feels like you are doing even less. and due to how you feel, you undermine how much you have achieved. its time to take an unbiased look at your life and what you have accomplished. to look at every aspect and really ask yourself what you have and how it truly makes you feel, outside of your autopilot. it would be beneficial to ground yourself to make it easier to do this. you can do this by going through each part of your day and actively asking yourself, is this something i enjoy? perhaps more than i thought? there may be some things you are bored of that actually give you more joy than you realize. and similarly, there might be some things you do without thinking that don't really add to your day, they could even take from it. finally, ask yourself openly, what things do you truly love ? is there something from the past that still haunts your mind? something you regret not pursuing? there is a feeling that it’s too late for you now. you feel so settled into this unfulfilling life that you would feel completely upended if you changed now. but you absolutely can change. life is ever changing like a river, and if you try to be a rock that stays still instead of going with the flow, it will only erode away at you instead of taking you to see and experience new things. try to become more fluid and adaptable, and you may find yourself having a lot more fun!

exercise: imagine talking to yourself from the past. ask them, what do you love about life? what do you want to do with your life? what makes you excited, gives you the motivation to live? what fills your world with color?  then imagine telling them what you do now. how would they react to the future you have told them? 

♡ Pile 2 ♡

inner child: Emotions are the reflection “Emotions can often be a reflection of how a present event affects our inner child. When an emotion comes out that does not make sense to you, take a moment to sit with it. Ask yourself, what is this emotion attached to inside of me that goes beyond what I am experiencing now? Journaling is a good exercise to explore these emotions further” 

Pull yourself close “Our inner being longs for us to reside as one. It is now time to pull close all of the places inside of us that we wish were not there. Imagine embracing yourself in acceptance, the “”good” parts, the “bad” parts, the “missing” places and the “broken” pieces. Knowing that every place inside of you is worthy of the greatest love. 

motivational cards: “Say yes to new adventures”, “You look GREAT today”

you are someone who avoids their feelings. this leads to them sitting in the back of the mind, where your subconscious ruminates on them. often times your reaction to things may not seem proportional to what has occurred, or even unrelated to a degree. this leads to a feeling of self loathing because you feel like you don’t make sense and you overreact to things and just make problems. this makes you feel even more disconnected from yourself, and it begins an endless cycle of confusing emotions which you don't understand causing insecurity, dislike, or even hatred of yourself. you feel broken, ugly, and like you just bring things down. what is happening is the feelings you push down inside don't disappear, they permeate into everything you experience as well as fester and become more than they were initially. every time you have a little upset, you are triggered about these unrelated feelings you have. and each time it feels more grandiose. your mind is calling out to you to deal with these past emotions of yours, every time you have any sort of negative emotions or experiences. and then because they are more difficult to deal with every time, you continue to push down new feelings, to repeat in the same cycle as the past ones. it is time to deal with all the things still haunting you, possibly from years ago, as well as the new feelings you may get. when you are experiencing negative emotions, it would be beneficial to find it within yourself to experience them fully rather than compartmentalize. something i always tell myself as i experience emotions is “this too will pass” as all things, good and bad, will end. in the moment of experiencing these negative things, it feels long and tiring, but the light is at the end of the tunnel waiting for you to find it. you are a strong person, and one by one, you can slowly acknowledge and accept the feelings which you have tried so hard to hide. they are done hiding, and its time you listened rather than censoring yourself. take the dedication you had to staying stoic and become someone who can experience themselves fully. emotions are what make us human as well as individuals, and eventually you will see the beauty of them, as they help us interpret and understand the world.  it may be a completely new concept to you, but at the end of it you will have a self understanding and awareness like you never thought possible.  

inner child exercise: imagine yourself from the past, sobbing uncontrollably. how do you feel about this image? if it is negative, ask yourself why you feel that way. has someone influenced the way you react to pain? and then ask your past self, what hurt them so deeply? was it a way they were treated or something that was said to them? often times deeply rooted pain can stem from childhood from parental or adult figures. was the reaction negative when you expressed emotions in the past? think about how you would comfort your past self as they cry. identify how you wanted to be treated in moments of vulnerability, and imagine your present self doing so to the past crying self. if you wanted a hug, imagine hugging them. if you wanted to be told everything is okay, tell them that. if you wanted to be reminded that you are loved, tell them you love them ♡

[borathae]

Hii Sibii!

I just wanted to say that I started writing fanfics just this week after a few years of reading them. And I saw your post from a few days ago..

https://www.tumblr.com/borathae/734238428166832128/hi-im-a-new-writer-and-i-was-wondering-if-you

This one

And I wanna thank you for answering their ask because I learnt a few things as well. I have only posted like two blurbs yet but I want to keep writing whenever I have time.

I just wanted to say that whenever I write, I feel like the type of vocabulary I use is just too simple or too normal. And sometimes it kinda takes away from the story. I know it will take time and practice to write good stories so I’ll keep writing patiently.

I really like your stories so I hope I can write like you someday🩵

Aaah heheh I'm happy that my post could help you as well! I'm no expert and I still have so much to improve, but I'm always happy to help you guys :( istfg yesterday I watched an interview of Tom Holland about why he's a non-drinker and at one part he said "I like being a dependable person. I like to know that people feel safe depending on me" AND I FELT SO VALIDATED BECAUSE I LOVE THIS TOO :( so keep asking me questions my loveliest hheheh I always love to help you guys as best as I can 🥺 (lmao that took a turn JFJADFJ you guys got a short insight in how my brain works because lmao that was a big yap rn ahhaha)

I just wanted to say that whenever I write, I feel like the type of vocabulary I use is just too simple or too normal. And sometimes it kinda takes away from the story. I know it will take time and practice to write good stories so I’ll keep writing patiently.

Oh yes 100% when I reread my older stories these days, I'm always astonished about how much I improved without even realising that you did. The most important thing is to keep writing and to never lose the joy of it. 💜

I really like your stories so I hope I can write like you someday🩵

OFMG?? THANK YOUFADS FNASFN

[team-frightfur]

TUMBLR DENIES ME TAGS AGAIN BUT THIS TIME I WAS SMARTER. STRONGER. I WROTE MY TAGS IN THE BODY AND COPY PASTED. UNSTOPPABLE.

The atmospheric fade is used sooooooooooo well here.

Oh and we cant forget the accessories. Theyre so hecking cute! The hippos lil XD is to die for and once more the details are insane. Like you actually shaded the seams and pinch! Who hurt you and where can I get some? Also the green glasses compliment his reds so well.

Anyway next we have SVFD's funky lil floral shades (i love them so much you have no clue), the flower necklace is also amazing.

The dragons at the back are harder to make out but, obviously, that just sells the pic more as something lived in and dynamic. Plus, theyre still shaded super well and perfectly for the pic, so theres 0 to complain about.

Also love how I can FEEL clear wings pure joy at being given a hat by little Yugo. Look at that grin, that upturned eye. I've never seen a more overjoyed Beast and SV is RIGHT THERE smiling so hard its jaw's gonna unhinge. Do feel a lil sad about how CW's wings blend into the trees but a comps gotta comp. This is karma for them being the negating dragon. Anyway, I love their accessories, like all the speedroids on Yugo's surfboard (red eye, 2 tri eye and 1 terrortop? Thats the duel links set baybee).

Dark reb is just as happy, but a lil more restrained. I also dk what mon they've got. it has ancient cloak vibes but im no PK expert. Barely play them really. The flowers make it festive either way. The Dark reb pattern on the kite is a nice touch, too!

Ok dragons down, time to scream about 4 small boys! First off, someone get Yugo a shirt before he gets sunburned /joking.

Ok but for real Yuya and Yuris poofy shirts are very summer vibes and very cute. It gives them both a really floaty feeling that suits the piece! Yuya's big ol smile is the cutest thing I've seen all week (plus the fangs are a super cute and nice touch) and Yuris smug "im gonna beat your ass" grin is impeccable. The water guns are really well done, too. Love how yuri's matches SVFD, but curious about Yuya using blue. Is it a ref to his pendulum? Anyway, the shading on their hair (yuyas contrasting values in particular stand out to me) are also so silken and jaw dropping that I feel like you could shear it and weave a silken scarf out of it. Fantastic 10/10.

Yugo's tiny grin is so precious 50/50 and I love how Yuto is kinda cautiously clinging to dark reb as he carefully takes stock of the situation. Yuya and Yuri may be at war, but Yuto and Yugo have chosen peace. For now.

Last but not least, the effect work is really good! I like the refracted light scattered tastefully across the piece to give it some pink and white and add to the sunny vibe. I've already mentioned how well done the addition based atmospheric fade is. The snatches of subsurface scattering like on SV's dark green and the underside of Yuyas shirt are just an extra 10% of perfection.

The thing that gets me about this is that there are no flaws. Zero corners cut. I almost pity you because I feel like this must have simultaneously been the most satisfying and painful thing ever created. I cannot fathom having the heart to do this.

1000/1000 are you a professional artist because holy shit.

My piece for Dragon's den zine.

[iloveubee]

Im in Athens right now and its beautiful and as i roam the originale and beautiful street at night it made me think of how mutch my girlfriend would feel happy and how mutch She loves going in streets full of restauraunts and shops and Just the idea to go to vacation only the Two of us, Like o have some ideas of places that She might love and its possibile to go to, also because now i kinda became an Expert on travelling and how airports work so, so i would love to give her sutch a beautiful ubique experience and to see her eyes Shining with Joy as She looks a new places, but for now its impossible due to our situation, and even if we werent in thia situation in still Will be impossible since her parents are annoying overprotective dumbasses so yeah, im really looking foward to the day my gf turns 18 so we can both be free especially her.

[hotdrinkluvr]

I was like "aw I wish I had friends :(" and now I have the chance to make friends my age and im like "awww not these kind of friends :(" will I ever be happy? but is it truly that hard to find someone who will do whatever I say and just fucking adore me? Like fuck, it shouldn't be that difficult , I had someone like that before a long while a go. And it was full on, she made a journal just fully about me, she cut herself when I moved away because of me, she was so obsessive, always wanting my approval for everything and it was fucking weird but god I want that kinda person back. I didn't in anyway encourage it either, I was totally oblivious to her and even my own actions, lacking the awareness I have now. She must of thought I was so fucking cool, but at the time I was so hopeless deeply insecure but I projected a 'don't give a shit ' attitude, licking bins and shit, doing dumb dangerous stuff and cultivating a sort of authority around my friends.

Whatever the case, she's moved on and is obsessed with someone else, someone who reminds me of my past self, someone I wanted to like me really fucking badly before I could admit to myself that I really liked her. I had a huge ego back then, despite my insecurity.

Im less egotistical now, significantly so. Im less confrontational and sure of myself having had a really shit experience in my last years of school after I moved. It completely shot my confidence and I became so depressed and desperate that if it weren't for covid I'd probably be all but dead. Im working to build myself back up, I've really improved from back then but I'm still a far cry from the carefree egoist I was before. I think ill always have a chip on my shoulder from now on, which I don't mind completely because its made me into who I am today which im pretty fucking happy with. Im happy with who I am, but I can only be who I am when im alone which is what makes me unhappy. I want someone who I can be alone with, you know? If I were to just be me around family and friends, and im not being funny when I say they'd at worst cut me off completely and at best pity me for life. I hear how my family talks about people who are like me, my granddads always saying some shit about a looney he teaches at work or worked with in a play and i sit there thinking, if only you knew how I was, who I am within my core? If only you knew who hard I work to seem normal to you, how much energy it drains everyday just to keep up that fucking smile?

Sometimes I tweak out, can't help my little outburst or weird behaviour because its effort to keep that shit in. You could never, ever fucking tell im fucking bipolar because I work really really hard to keep that shit in. Yesterday my grandmother was doing my hair and it hurt so fucking bad I physically couldn't restrain myself from crying, I hadn't felt that emotional in good while and im almost slapped her away from, almost, was so damn close to calling her bitch. Just for doing something I wanted to get done anyway. I was such an emotional kid and my dad made me feel so so shit about it, I couldn't control my crying or anger or even my bursts of pure fucking joy and he hated me for it. Eventually you do end up teaching yourself to control to an extent, and I think I'm the best at it now because I've finally learnt how to remove myself from my body. Im still not at all an expert but it helps. My emotions are always quite heightened so it takes a lot of energy to bring them done to a normal level, so yeah im always fucking tired and I Have the stamina of a 50 Yr old.

I can't even remember what im writing good night!

[maliciousmalfeasance]

i don't get to walk very much lately

not because im short on time, or lovely places to go- but because my body has been playing a nasty trick on me- or maybe my body is the trick- it all feels like one big, terrible drawn out joke that stopped being funny before it even left the lips of whoever's been telling it over and over for the last 2 years.

Worse yet- I keep falling for it. (ha ha, get it? Because I fall over...) I keep entertaining the idea that it's better now! I'm seeing slight improvements so who knows maybe soon I can pack the shower chair away and never look at it again and I can walk down to the lake and sit there like I did- a week- years ago- eons away from now. It's silly. I see my partner witnessing it, each time. The wind up, the expectation and maybe- even the actual merciful plateau for a while. Enough energy to garden and clean and get a start on the mountain of "when im doing better" tasks that keeps growing and looming in my periphery. And then- I hit the wall again. My body knocks me out and drags me aching and cursing back to bed. I've no idea how long I'll be back at square one.

I haven't been able to go for walks often- is what I'm saying. Which is what has made the few times I have been able to go for walks, so magical. I've been really into moss! Strange fixation to have when there are many more pressing and beautiful things to snatch my attention but I find I keep my eyes down a lot as a general habit (better keep an eye on these feet- you never know where they're going) and I find an inordinate amount of comfort in little tufts of green tucked into the darkest, dankest crevices of suburbia and bush land.

Same goes for lichen, fungi, and just life in general. I've been keeping fish and plants and- maintaining little islands of life is excellent enrichment in my enclosure, I gotta say. I love the reminder that life persists even when I feel so cut off and vulnerable and sick. I love my snails and shrimp and fish. I get disproportionately sad when I can't manage to work on my gardening and fish-keeping projects. Watching shows and movies is still a fun thing to do with others but when I'm by myself it's really lost its lustre. I can't help but associate watching tv with being exhausted and barely functioning at this point because when I'm too tired and unwell to think coherently, I watch something to try and keep myself occupied and awake.

Anyways all this to say- I want to document my walks some more, and my outings in general. With film wherever possible, because this way I can surround myself with images of outside and hope when I'm in this rut again next. Because something tells me this rut is going to remain a frequent stop in my life- might as well make it a nice little rut to get stuck in. My body is forcing a lot of rest on me at the moment. That is what it is. Better not to turn the rest into torture by sucking all the joy out.

I hope your life has opportunities for rest, too. And life! I recommend keeping plants-if you need plant advice I'm no expert but I can try my best. If you can't keep plants alive consider yourself a plant and keep yourself well watered and make sure you get some sun on your leaves and soil on your soles (souls? you heathens.) occasionally.