autumnbrambleagain

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like that post about the canon sexualities wasn't me doing a headcanon that's me using science ok, this is literally how their relationship works

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gbh twilight's discomfort and intimidation with her role as princess in the movie makes it feel more like a season 5 plot than a season 8 plot

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can't tell if it's just because im in a rare lucid stage or if because i haven't slept much recently but trying to read some of my recent writing and it's so hard to follow and i can't tell if it's

1: i haven't slept much this entire week so reading is hard

2: i was being too daring with it and it's kind of sloppy and unedited

3: i wrote it in an extremely non-lucid state and reading it is like reading a crazy person's writing but it's me i'm the crazy person and i'm just having a moment of lucidity and als im trying this im Feeling it getting increasingly harder to write clearlys o aictually i think i tmight just be the not sleepinf or A w eek thing and maybe ima lo overstitmatinggn ho lucid i ma ona ccount on ot sleeping for a week because of pie g g shenangiagnasn

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Commission from @falloutfurret (posted with permission of course)!

Bonus Maud:

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okay im doing this once and for all i have 10 years of not being a pony blog to catch up on, here's my final statements for the ponies' canonical sexualities:

applejack: gay as the day is long. into normal but really hard sex. canonically on-off-on with rainbow dash her entire life. passing interest in ropes but not really into the bdsm scene otherwise. some guilt over her sexuality not because of shame but because it means she won't have children to pass the farm onto, resolved when big mac marries.

rainbow dash: gay gay gay homosexual gay. really bad at sex. always intends to be the top/dom/in charge with applejack and ends up being receptive and yielding because she's self-conscious about sex and she puts up a confident front applejack has to wear down every time because rainbow has some weird relationship with sex that isn't traumatic but basically has the same consequences as if it was.

fluttershy: bi and theoretically poly but ends up with discord pretty much exclusively. an incredibly gentle dom. tells discord he's a good boy. the most sexually well-adjusted pony in the group.

pinkie pie: basically straight with a fondly remembered but no longer repeated slutty era when she was younger. nopony gelled with her weird sexual energy like cheese sandwich did and that's why she ends up horse pregnant with his foals.

rarity: fully straight. REALLY into the performance of romance, completely uninterested in the reality of it. will date a pony 3 times and then feel like the spark's worn off and move on. romance fetishism and her busy work schedule keep her from a long-term relationship and she's fine with that. i'm ambivalent on if she would hook up with an older spike or not.

twilight sparkle: i'm calling it, she's aroace. she's the princess of friendship and she's satisfied by friendships enough she doesn't need to be 'fixed' by hooking her up with somepony. legit just happy to spend time with her friends and teach her students, considers friendship as a type of relationship equally strong as and important as dating. not sex-repulsed but just not into it. COULD be into D/s because it satisfies her need for control, but actual sex just isn't her thing, and any twilight i try to imagine shipped with any canon pony requires an AU where something's changed about their circumstances for it to make sense, or a noncanon OC created specifically to match what would be twilight's undoubtedly really specific vibes in a relationship. even when i ship my cringey OC self insert vampire with twilight i don't actually imagine them ever doing sex, it's just a weird powerplay companionship thing. this purple horse doesn't fuck and that's ok.

starlight glimmer: pan, poly, 100% dom. dating trixie primarily and in a polycule with sunburst, maud, and probably thorax at this point, but less a 20-something-seattle-puppygirl-polycule and more a settled-in-30-something-polycule, real chill and easygoing energy, zero drama. once she mellows out she becomes the best dom you've ever met.

trixie lulamoon: i agree, trixie's trans, trixie's an obscenely bratty switch, she COULD dom but oh my god do not let her.

sunburst: bi, bottom, subby, dating starlight and thorax but as neither's primary. everyone jokes that he's secretly dating shining armor and cadance but it's not true.

maud pie: holy shit

shining armor and cadance: these are either the most aggressively vanilla, aggressively straight couple who wear shirts like 'bun in the oven' and 'i'm the cum man'; or, they're like all those disastrously horrible 'swinger' types you've ever seen but are somehow completely reasonable, responsible, and safe about it and never pressure anypony into it and have a long list of ponies they've been with together and nothing bad came of it because she's a princess and cadance is responsible; or cadance is a fucking sex freak conducting love experiments and shining is just happy to be here. i have no fucking clue. incomprehensible vibes. i don't trust cadance.

celestia: she's like 2000 years old and the idea of dating one of these mortals at this point squicks her. has existed for so long she's evolved beyond sex as anything other than a curiosity, but doesn't have many peers she could engage in it with, which is all to say,

luna: fucking her sister

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The main difference between the weather being uncomfortably cold, and the weather being uncomfortably hot, is that the things you can do in the cold to warm yourself up (hot food/beverage, blankets, cuddles, nice clothes like sweaters, thick scarves and snazzy jackets, getting exercise) are very pleasant and very effective, and the things you can do in the heat to cool yourself down don't do shit.

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chest kinda still hurts

am I dying? is this finally it?

it'd be narratively appropriate to just sorta drop dead after all the nonsense it's been through

I'll probably be here tomorrow and the next and the next and the next and the next and the next

but gosh, in the off chance I'm not,

,

I've already said everything I've ever really wanted to say honestly, I'm good

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i was so real for this

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>you're the only one on the steamer

>also your suspicion was so high one of the other nonexistant passengers discovered your disguise and now all those things you farmed you lost, come back later lmao

lmao, ok fallen london, sure

i think what will finally kill fallen london for me is the casualness with which actions are gated behind random objects whose acquirement i can't suss out and the wiki is like "here's all the ways you can get this item: like literally every single story event in the entire game that happens to give you one" and i'm like "ok but how do i just like... get some normally" and the forum posts i find are like "well once you're a person of significant breeding and standing just go to the skywalk empire into the seventh layer of the mirror jungle and grind out battle carousels with the marvelous mechanical mouse organ"

and it's like

cool that's like 100 more days away before i know what any of that means, lmao

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some things however i am thoroughly recanting

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honestly reassuring to know that even if i can't remember most of my life at this point, some things stayed consistent between iterative identity states

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i think what will finally kill fallen london for me is the casualness with which actions are gated behind random objects whose acquirement i can't suss out and the wiki is like "here's all the ways you can get this item: like literally every single story event in the entire game that happens to give you one" and i'm like "ok but how do i just like... get some normally" and the forum posts i find are like "well once you're a person of significant breeding and standing just go to the skywalk empire into the seventh layer of the mirror jungle and grind out battle carousels with the marvelous mechanical mouse organ"

and it's like

cool that's like 100 more days away before i know what any of that means, lmao

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you can't get me on morbid curiosity i have to know and im going to laugh if this ends up being like a one sentence result after grinding investigating to 30

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what are you even talking about i never encountered a spider council what's a spider council did i sequence break something fallen london what are you talking about

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i used to have vision

do you understand?

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

with the loss of my original tumblr, the greatest thing i have ever drawn has become less accessible and that's a crime because even though this is like 10 years old it remains the best thing i've ever drawn

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ive been distressingly sane the past week and i don't even really recognize myself like this anymore lmao

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it's been a while since i did an incomprehensible Lancer in-game meme

you can tell my character is not only a princess but also the horus pilot