#still got a lot of work to do on that
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#personal#writing#my writing#my manuscript ain't done yet#still got a lot of work to do on that#but it IS coming soon!#As for the cake thing#it's the Big Birthday Month here in the family#and so there'll be lots of cake already#Will I be more active?#Maybe... maybe not#Still have lots of work to do#but hopefully yes I'll start interacting more 👍
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It's essential to teach them color theory when they're young so they understand how to mix colors. How else will you get art that's good enough for the fridge?
Day 6 of DCA Promptober - hues plus bonus animation of Sun imitating the Mac's wait cursor aka the Spinning Beach Ball of Doom
#loaf art#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#sundrop#dcatober24#sometimes sacrifices have to be made in the name of ART - this is what I'm telling myself in regards to Sun painting the rays#Finally got this done! And it's only... 51 days late. It's fine it's fine#Thanks to everybody in the dfpu chat who helped me come up with stuff to doodle for the border. It was a big help and a lot of fun!#we really did recreate what is going on in the drawing!#also thanks to snails muffin and terror for the animation pointers & terminology#Smear frames were def the way to go! Not whatever I was trying to do before asking for help#I guess this counts as my first *real* animation so hooray!#I *might* use some of the remaining prompts for future drawings but at this point I have other things I want to work on#even though I was only able to finish a few of these I felt like I still learned a lot#it definitely got me into the habit of drawing every day#and I'm still doing that so this event was a big win in my book!#and no joke I really did color pick from the load cursor just so I could do the silly spinning thing
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?
Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.
Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.
Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.
This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
———
Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...
Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:
I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?
Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said– I was giving them an analogy.
Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?
I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–
I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.
But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–
[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]
Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.
But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.
[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.
I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.
Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.
Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.
But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m–
Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–
Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?
#Badboyhalo#BBH#Bad#QSMP#January 8 2025#Edited#I know folks are going to add their two cents on this subject in the tags / comments / replies (and as always you're welcome to do that)#But for the sake of my sanity please don't be an asshole to any of the CCs / ex-admins / fellow fans / anyone else. Thanks#Most folks here don't need a ''Don't be a dumbass'' reminder but I had to block someone for that earlier and it was a bit disappointing#This is going to be a Tumblr exclusive clip because I don't trust Twitter to have common sense or common decency about this topic#Tumblr exclusive#Anyways business aside – that black line on the side is just part of Bad's stream btw. He just Has That#Took too long for this to render otherwise I'd edit it out because it's annoying#I'm just realizing this screenshot doesn't even have Dapper OTL but it's the best one I have so I gotta work with what I got#Honestly; I still miss QSMP dearly... I love the core intent of the project and the multicultural exchange#I love all the language barriers that were broken and I loved all the stories that were told and watching beautiful friendships bloom#But I am still so angry and disappointed about how things ended and all the poor communication and the admin situation as a whole#It's a complicated feeling#I agree with pretty much everything Bad says here#It's ironic that he uses that analogy because I've said almost the exact same thing when explaining why losing any Egg was so devastating#We weren't just mourning for the characters. We were mourning for the admins too#I'll never forget that last stream with Tazercraft and Richas; and Pac ending stream in tears#I wish they'd done away with the Egg life system. I wish they'd done a lot of things differently#If the project ever does come back in some shape or form I hope they are more transparent about things and have better communication#I dunno how I'd feel personally. They would have to do a lot of work regaining people's trust#And frankly I don't think they'll ever regain that trust from a large portion of the community#I remember near the start of QSMP I saw a comment from a fan that simply said ''QSMP; please don't leave me feeling bitter''#I think about that comment a lot
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——————
it’s been 6 years exactly nd i apologize for everything about this
[tw: implied csa]
#i did not work on this fr 6 yrs obvio i jst hated what i did originally nd dropped it forever#bt like last month i thought abt it again nd realized that 6 year promise was coming up….so i debased myself#i still hate this so much :) but i forced myself to do it#rip to the 100 odd ppl who were xcited abt this when i originally posted the sneak peek#i rly wanted to try making something long but i think i shdnt do that n e more lmfaoo#thers a significant quality drop on lots of pages i never quite got around to finalizing n time. sorry. sorry sorry sorryyy#iasip#always sunny#charlie kelly#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonald#mac macdonald#charden#chardennis#trash trio#charmacden#deetress if u squint#fanart#mine#i want to xplore the chardeetress part of their hs more i rly lov that trio#also also i totally lied in the original post talking abt ‘these 3 suffering’ it was always focused on the charden trauma connection#sorry mac girlies#i hav complex feelings regarding mac's involvement n th uncle jack side of charlie's childhood#but they r not on display here#gnna hav to draw some cute bb charmac to repent and to self sooth aftr this#1k
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ACT 2 "You're... me?" "That's right, stardust!"
You know I've been drawing Loop as their Siffrin form so much that it's got me thinking. I've read and seen so many fics and artworks of Loop eventually getting back to looking like their old self, but I don't think I've seen any so far of Loop already being a mirror copy of Siffrin. So uh, yoink?
ISAT AU where the game plays out the same way (plot-wise at least) but Loop looks like Siffrin the whole time and while Siffrin is extremely perplexed that there's another him, he's still gotta accept their help because how else are they supposed to escape the loops? Good ol' Loop is here to help, helpful friendly Loop!
Siffrin is going through it still but Differently.
#In Stars and Time#ISAT#ISAT Spoilers#ISAT Siffrin#ISAT Loop#ISAT AU#illustration#digital art#artists on tumblr#fan art#two coins same side au#TCSS AU#id in alt#hazelnootart#think this is the first time i've come up with a proper AU at ALL so um! i'm going to call this#EDIT: CHANGED THE AU NAME BECAUSE I HAD A BIG BRAIN MOMENT OTW HOME FROM WORK#honestly i already have lots of ideas for this. like how the intro convo goes and how act 5 plays out when siffrin has the Moment with loop#and ESPECIALLY with how the convo “who do you think i am” will be changed i have thought IMMENSELY about that#i'll get to that one first at some point! i've got a lot on my plate art-wise but i'm excited to do this haha#if i still did writing (and had the ideas for a good plot) i would do it but comics and excerpts will do for now
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Made a bit of an extensive guide on succubi & incubi lore and reproduction its whatever
some extra art too
#my art#hazbin hotel redesign#helluva boss redesign#hazbin hotel critical#helluva boss critical#forgot how toilets looked like when drawing this lol#verosikas redesign will be out soon probably still got lots of uni work to do#and more brba&bcs au in the works TRUST
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got your nose !!!!
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#moondrop#this is a little old (same time as my ecl¡pse doodle where they're holding hands)#but i still think its funny#i see a lot of ppl who draw them with little to no nose#so it's fun to see that trait in a style where the nose is a huge part of it#now that i think about it though it'd be hard for moon to do the 'got your nose' thing because their thumbs are blue#so the illusion doesn't really work.. unless they say they squeezed it so hard that it turned blue? but idk
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the brainrot won
#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without-#distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just-#super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff#i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i-#read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :(#SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!!#but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little-#break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think#ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for-#designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much...#WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to#umm. tags.#new life smp#smallishbeans#mythical sausage#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#inthelittlewood#my art#sketch
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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ACNH AU but it’s just Chil as Tom Nook giving out lax loans to people in need with his half-foot guild, and his close friend Isabelle Marcille helping out and hanging around. Been playing ACNH and came to the realization that Tom Nook & Isabelle give Chil & Marcille energy, and immediately had to draw it…
Man wanted to retire early but still hasn’t stopped. What I want for post-canon Chilchuck is just for him to have Tom Nook energy fr fr
#Dungeon meshi#acnh au#chilchuck tims#marcille donato#meijack#Flertom#Puckpatti#Chilchuck’s family#Marchil#To me they’re the Everything Everywhere All at Once thing where doing taxes together is the most romantic thing#At first I wasn’t gonna put Marcille in a pencil skirt but. She’s rocking it#Also was gonna give Mei tims shoes but forgot. She still got her knee-high shoes swag tho#The thing is Marcille DOES have dog energy it’s just that unlike Laios she’s like… A pomeranian or smth#Chil got divorced bc there were never non work-related vacations. Get that island cash my guy#I had fun putting details on the board#Saw a localization of Laios as Laois the other day and I have taken psychic damage#Listen I’m sure canon Chil has a very neat handwriting. Sorry for the character assassination#But also??? Illiterate rates have gotta be high for the Dungeon Meshi world right. I ponder it a lot#I am sorry that I accidentally made Chil look like Christopher Robin in that last one… I apologize
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tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.
he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.
except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.
and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.
or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)
they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.
and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.
optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.
and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#tfone#optimus prime#orion pax#baby prime orion au#this is mostly an excuse for me to draw the primes and baby OP later on. just to be clear.#i WILL be drawing this at some point lmao#tbh i'm a little uncertain how i want things to progress#because on one hand it would be very tasty and tense if sentinel recognized optimus during the race#but that means a lot of changes very early on in the plot and i would have to do a lot of Thinking on how to justify getting the gang#to still pick up bee and elita. cause i love them <3#i do think it'd be very funny if the high guard's plan worked like a charm except for the very tiny fact that they didn't count#on orion being an absolute hellion. like. this kid is Not Going Unnoticed and it's completely his own fault lmao#in this version maybe a member of the high guard stayed behind to keep an eye on orion and is able to get them out before they're killed#but instead of taking them to where the primes fell they take them directly to the high guard#which is very awkward because it's a very moving and emotional moment for the high guard who are finally reunited with their little prime#all grown up and healthy and blessedly *alive*. except orion doesn't fucking remember any of them and is very confused as to why#the legendary warriors of cybertron are getting all weepy over him. they finally explain the truth to him which is a Fucking Bomb#to drop on anyone but especially a group of kids who almost got killed by the person they all thought the world of just hours ago#they also return orion's t-cog to him which would create some tension between him and the rest of the gang because this time#he's the only one getting his cog back. add to it that they were just told he's the equivalent of a demi-god and... well.#there's a gap between him and them that wasn't there before#on the other version of events that follows canon more closely everything goes the same up until the gang finds the primes in the cave#and wake up alpha trion who now not only has to deal with the fact the rest of his siblings are dead but that he missed fifty cycles#of his baby brother's life. that the only sibling he has left does not remember him or his true identity at all.#he has to choose between telling him the truth which has the risk of unbalancing him in a critical moment where he cannot afford to#be distracted because they're being hunted down. or let him remain unaware. let him forget their family and the love they had for him#but letting him remain free of the knowledge of what he lost and the heartbreak it would bring.
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adding more to my fave jacket so she's ready for folk punk fall
#started this one last year; promptly got sidetracked#now I'm suddenly motivated to finish it#still lots of work to do#diy punk#folk punk#crust jacket#back arrangement is very likely to change as i make new patches. but it works for now (finally cold enough to wear it😩)#my art
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what are your thoughts abot how Damian and Tim's relationship is portrayed in most fanfics?
personally, although I like the angst part of their relationship I wish there was more fanfics where they're closer and have real siblings dynamic (like u know they 'hate' eachother but they would destroy anyone who would want to hurt their brother)
oh, boy, do i have a lot to say about this one. buckle in, folks.
i feel like a lot of the time, if they're in a fic together and the fic author doesn't like one of them, the other is going to be mischaracterized to hell and back. sometimes... both are mischaracterized.
i'm all for a fanon interpretation of a character- obviously, because i have fanon interpretations in my fic too at least a wee bit- but sometimes it goes too far and it no longer feels like we're reading about the same character
let's talk about Tim.
Tim doesn't have a good view of himself or his standing in any emotional aspect. which is often misconstrued about him believing that he was Jason's replacement (neither he nor Bruce thought this, but it was Bruce's fear), or that his worth as Robin wasn't enough. that's not true at all. i'll say it again here: Jason didn't nearly kill Tim at Titan's Tower, nor did he go there to kill Tim. and Tim fought him back. he even told Jason to his face:
"you can't be that good" "I am."
he knows he's a damn good Robin! he trained with the best, he helps lead the YJ! he doesn't doubt that he was the best person for the job. but when it comes to the emotional aspect of Robin, i think this is where Tim stutters
this is because of how Tim's parents showed their affection.
i think canon neglects that aspect of his trauma, which is why so many people hang onto it. in the comics, Tim is shown to have a lot of friends both in and out of suit. he's abrasive and isn't afraid to ask the hard questions. but he is riddled with self worth issues. his parents were barely around him, they didn't know him well at all. and they loved him, but from a distance.
Tim now sees himself as someone that can receive love from a distance. he is incredibly self reliant, and has been from a young age. he sees all of his accomplishments as obligations. he does well at school because he had to. he takes care of himself because he had to. and in his mind, taking up Robin was partly another obligation. he does his job well because he has to, and he might doubt this sometimes like anyone else, but at the end of the day he is confident in his ability to get shit done.
now, the emotional part of Batman and Robin is where i believe i enjoy a fanon interpretation more. he actually does have a good relationship with Dick, but I'm not too sure about Bruce at this point. this topic is nuanced because Batman writers make him so diabolical at times to the point that i would consider it ooc. but other times they're very close and Bruce admits this. so i replace it in my head with a more stable and realistic version that i've seen written by fic authors very well.
Tim views himself as someone who is there for a job: help Batman. but there is a lot of wonder and awe there. his favorite Robin was Dick. (I'll say this again so everyone hears me: his favorite Robin was Dick. yes you are allowed to have nuance and put Jason in there as someone he looked up to as well, please do. but put some respect on Dick's name!) now that he's working with Dick Grayson, someone he admires so much, as well as getting the honor to wear the Robin suit, he feels more like himself than he has in years. he's good at this, and it's also fun. he meets so many people and he gets to make a difference in the world. yes, it's a job, but it's also very freeing
he never did this be Bruce's son, or to replace Jason. his relationship with Bruce started off extremely rocky, with Tim forcing himself into his life in some way because he believed that Batman was going to get himself killed or get someone else killed, or Batman would cross the line. and Gotham would lose the only person who had such unwavering optimism for them. he and Bruce come to an understanding of being partners but not father and son. Bruce doesn't want to open himself up to that hurt again. but we all know Bruce, and that's not what ended up happening. Bruce would never be the same person he was before, but he is not incapable of love.
Tim would not understand that change. I'd get more into this but i don't want this post too long and i wanna save it for when i'm not supposed to be sleeping and when i'm writing one of my Tim fics for once. all we really need to know is that Tim's emotional intelligence is dogshit, and him coming to see Bruce as a father, and Bruce seeing him as a son, would baffle him. because his parents love him... at a distance. and Bruce sees him every day. that's not how it's supposed to work, right?
so.
sometimes, Tim is treated like a porcelain doll who can do no wrong. many aspects of his canon has been altered by fanon to be "worse" than it is. his neglect by his parents did, indeed, happen, and it affects him deeply. but his parents weren't like. beating him, or leaving him without food or shelter or supervision. Tim was clever enough to get around that supervision all on his own. which is why they should have been there in the first place. (they should have been there regardless). and emotional neglect is still a very real issue??? no one has to make it "worse" by making the Drakes out to be monsters. i think Jack often emotionally manipulated Tim when he was around, and I don't know if Jack was even aware that he did so. (which is why i can see some people delving into that nonexistent relationship that DC gave us, and finally giving those implications more depth. there are a lot of good fics that go over this)
often it's hard to read a fic for Tim because they go too hard into making Tim an anxious shy ball of sunshine. Tim is weird, and he stalked the Bats, he stalked Nightwing, he broke into Titan's Tower before he even became Robin. he's a weirdo. he fits right in with the Bats for that reason. some people make him out to be the victim or some kind of damsel in distress, and sometimes we get to see a phenomena where other characters talk like a book about emotional intelligence that their therapist gave them. which is... fine, if you're just writing to write it, maybe helping yourself. but let's take a step back and see Tim is not like that. he is a very capable person, and his not some "uwu, woe is me, i'm so shitty at everything and if you even look at me wrong i'll cry." i honestly believe that Tim is the type of character to hate crying in front of someone and even if he was actively dying he'd be holding back those tears.
whereas Damian? gets the opposite treatment??
granted, i don't actually know too much about Damian, but i at least try to understand him and his background
he's the youngest of them, and i think many people forget that Damian isn't a reader of the comics like we are. he wasn't going into that family with the emotional connections to these characters and their backstories like we did. he was taught about these people, the idea of them. like how we could be taught in class about people from a long time ago. and i can ensure you that Damian was not taught proper emotional intelligence, nor would he have the best grasp of it himself when he was younger than 9 years old. imagine all of your teachers and also your mother told you about these people and their accomplishments, and then told you that the person all of them look up to is your father. the person that you want nothing more than to know, to see, because the people around you talk about him so highly. someone you haven't gotten to meet yet, because you aren't "worthy." can you imagine being told all your life that you are not worthy to see your father yet? and not knowing if he believes that too?
but one day, you are going to be by his side as his son. i don't want to get too into the culture of the Al Ghul family because i don't actually know that much (i'm sure someone would know more about this, feel free to add on if you want to), but this is important to Damian. it's important to his mom. it's important to his grandfather, the leader of an extensive organization that stretches hundreds of years.
then he gets dropped off in a different country, culture, language, and family and he finds that things are not as he had been told his entire life. his father has many flaws, they do not believe the same importance of a blood tie as his family back home does. they question his entire upbringing to his face many times, they question his mother who he loves deeply. he's nine years old. imagine yourself in that position. you don't know yet what role you're playing in an adult's life, but you want to. desperately. you want to know where you stand. you want a hug. not to mention that Damian actually is a very emotional kid. he was taught to shove that deep, deep down, and not let that out.
too many people write Damian as if he was a "feral" kid which is kind of not something to put on him? i don't like it both because he wasn't feral, he was an asshole. there's a difference. and because it feels like a microaggression?? at times?? because once again... the culture that he is from... is important.
they have been racially profiled for many many years... and yes, everything that you read is political whether you want it to be or not. the act of reading is political. you should definitely be aware of what a writer's goal is when they were giving something to you. you should be reading deeper. again, i'm not from his culture and i can't say if it is an insult/insensitive joke or not, nor am i saying everyone who's made the joke before is a bad person. i have made jokes about Tim being a feral kid before and whatnot. i'm saying that no matter who you are, it is your responsibility to think critically about your media and kindly about other people. it feels uncomfortable to me because i know how wrongly the Al Ghuls (specifically Talia) have been treated by writers in the past. and Damian is an extension of that bias. just look at how many times they try to push Ian Wayne on us. or how they'll pull back on Damian's character development when talking about the Al Ghul family.
this probably isn't my topic to write about, at least not before i learn more about it. but since i get a fair amount of viewership, maybe someone will listen to me that won't listen to someone of color that has already pointed this out many times. with the comics fandom, and Batman fandom specifically sometimes, people don't care to think further about why the characters of color are so often and conveniently left out or forced into an archetype. take that as you will
so! he has spent his entire life believing he had to live up to two great legacies, both of which are VERY different. the intricacies of the Al Ghul family are often boiled down to pure evil by both fanon and canon writers, which dulls Damian's resolve and reasoning for what he had done, or makes it hard to connect to him. he has since learned more about who he wants to be and has come to respect his family in many ways. excuse me if i'm wrong, but i think part of why Damian came so hard for Tim was because Tim had everything Damian wanted. he had a place by Batman's side as both his son and his partner, and was very well respected by Batman and Nightwing both. he's older, more mature, he has stature in both this society Damian now has to fit into and within the family dynamic. considering Damian grew up in an assassin cult that solved threats to their dynamics or positions in power by murder, it wasn't a far leap for a child from that environment to make. he was modelling what he had been taught his entire life.
think about the mistakes that you made as a kid. and i don't mean something silly or funny now, i'm talking something that makes you feel ashamed. embarrassed. hurt. something that perhaps now as an adult, you reflect on as being totally uncool. and i want you to think about if maybe your environment had a role to play in that. maybe you made an insensitive joke that your mom or dad would have found funny, and someone pointed it out and reasonably made you feel like a jerk. shit happens. but you hopefully grew from that.
now imagine that mistake was you hurting someone.
yes, he was annoying. he was bratty, at times. he could be a little calculating shit. he hurt people with both his words and his weapons. Tim obviously had many many many reasons to be upset about his treatment- but I fear that most of his anger ended up directed at the older people in their lives that were supposed to be the ones to do something about it!
and though i hate that Tim went back to being Robin (it feels redundant), i have seen panels that show that the two of them working side by side after Damian and Tim both went through some life and perspective altering events both together and alone, has made Tim see Damian as his little brother, and vice versa. Damian has grown so much and many people just... don't care. no matter their reasoning for hating Damian, it's unfair to not look further than those cutting words written decades ago, or to bring up his mistakes every time you want to be mad at him. and i think it does a disservice to Tim to make him a bleeding heart about this when he has clearly forgiven Damian and cares about him. he rags on Damian like any older brother would, and Damian makes remarks like a younger brother would. personally, i think the two of them are doing pretty good right now
the development of their characters is actually so interesting within the canon aspect, even if they can fumble the ball every now and then. and the mischaracterization takes away the value that their canon relationship has. i personally love reading fics that have Damian and Tim teaming up. in aus where one thing changes and Tim and Damian become brothers later, i think it's actually so silly and fun when Damian respects Tim or thinks he's cool. or even without the au aspect! just like, a fic where the two of them are working together and it's either silly or serious, Damian having a begrudging respect for Tim and Tim being protective over Damian, etc etc, is sooooo much fun
#this got so so so long#but i had a lot to say apparently#again take that one part with a grain of salt#i hope i did that topic some justice#if anyone wants to add on to that who knows more about it please feel free to do so#also also one fic that i think has a super fun tim and damian dynamic is Buzzard#i've recced it here before#i just love that fic#and uhhhh Red Raven i can't remember the author#tim drake#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian wayne al ghul#robin damian#robin dc#tim drake robin#dc batman#batman comics#batman and robin#erin practically writing an essay again#i have a lot of feelings guys#i think even if you don't like a character you should be putting work in to understand them#and if you still don't like them then that's fine#but if you blatantly don't like them and don't bother to read up on them then you're a hater but in an annoying way#let me know if i forgot a tag im so tired rn
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i just wanted to spread my curly hair scar propaganda
#hermitcraft#art out the oven#goodtimeswithscar#fiiiiinally got to do some painting yippee!!!!!#this was a lot of fun to do and play around w some new brushes and old ones i never used#this is partly a study too because i dont know how faces work still#[scheduled]#update OH WHOOPS I FORGOT THIS WAS HIS S8 SKIN NOT S9..... oof
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🌟🍬🤖🎈Congrats to Wonderlands x Showtime for finishing their 4x4!🌟🍬🤖🎈
#project sekai#prsk#tsukasa tenma#emu otori#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#the 4x4 is four rounds of four characters' songs if that wasn't obvious#also please don't ask me what happened to the colors i do not know everything got WAY paler on export#i color picked everything i swear#anyways i love wxs so much and i wanted to draw something serious for this huge milestone of so many songs that i adore#i was initially planning on doing this for every band but if you can imagine making four gifs from scratch is actually a lot of work#i do probably have a bit of time before honami 4 comes out (mixed first + 3DMV) though so maybe i'll still do it idk#but i'm proud of myself for having finished this#wish i had remembered to add a watermark but it would take way too much work to fix it now so. please remember me.....#(and don't repost without credit :) )#my art#fanart#if the gifs are out of sync i am so sorry i have no idea how to fix that. this is my first time posting gifs :(#i hope they will be fixed
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