#still gonna have the tw
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God this post has been living in my head rent free since I saw it. Do i try to reconnect with one of those friends? Do they even remember me? (vent under the cut)
The whole situation with the toxic friend I think caused at least a tiny portion of my online social anxiety. Because that friend was my first online friend. One of them at least. And then they just...turned on me so quickly.
I want to get better at talking to people online.
I want to make online friends on discord again.
But I'm so scared. I'm scared it'll happen again. I'm scared.
I join discord servers, but then i leave them after never talking in them because what if im just interrupting? What if I do end up making a friend but they turn on me like that one ex-friend?
I want to get better. I really do. but I'm so scared.
#crow.txt#vent#kinda#tw toxic friendship#well... a mention of it i guess#still gonna have the tw#social anxiety#tw social anxiety#tw anxiety#anxiety mention
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When I broke the cycle, I made sure that the tear was rough. You carry a part of what should be her, and she carries a part of what should be you.
#slay the princess#illustration#art#stp princess#the long quiet#stp narrator#arguably lol#slay the princess spoilers#scopophobia#tw scopophobia#i've been wanting to use the narrator's quote there as a caption for the longest time#originally i wanted it to be for a pair of black and white pieces of lq and the princess but i lost steam on that halfway through#(still have the finished piece for quiet! probably not gonna post it here though) (it's pretty old by now)#this piece was also partly inspired by the girl from the other side#hence the skull and cloth and hatching#i finally watched the movie ova can you tell? lol#my art#anytime i post art i always end up rambling in the tags#does anybody even read these?#if you do uh#i hope you have a nice day :^)
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Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#fatphobia#fatphobia tw#also if it's an issue solved by weight loss why would you want them to suffer until the weight loss helps wouldn't that DISCOURAGE them?#because if i were suffering the entire time i sure as fuck wouldn't want to keep going for the ~idea~ of it's gonna pay off!!!#also even if they 'made themself disabled' by being fat or anything else that doesn't matter. they're still disabled.#there is no 'good' disabled and 'bad' disabled and you cannot sort people into those categories#for every 'bad' fat disabled person there are multiple 'good' fat disabled people but you can't tell them apart often actually!#because you would have to know the intimate details of their medical history and familial lineage and tbh if you're...#...being a piece of shit to a disabled person because you assume they're guilty until proven innocent i don't blame others for being...#...weary of you and not wanting to be around you. because you've already proven you can't handle the IDEA of complex disabled experience
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because there is nothing to lose the people saying biden should resign now so kamala can still be the first female president are absolutely right but why stop there? inauguration day is 70 days away let's make "president for a day" a real thing. say "fuck it we ARE going to do the arbitrary quota DEI bullshit you accuse us of" and speedrun first [category] presidents. revolving door type thing.
first female president. first openly gay president. first transgender president. first president who has been to space. first president gamer president. first mime president. just play president bingo and hit as many categories as possible while we still can. make all of trump's #47 merch unusable by forcing him to be the 115th president instead. who cares anymore let's peacefully transition power but do it in the most chaotic hot-potato way possible
#us politics#politics tw#election 2024#joe biden#kamala harris#this is how bernie can still win!!!#like fuck it even let hillary have it for a day since she wanted it so freakin bad#each person pardons the one before and half the action is just pardons#if they're gonna dismantle the justice system as well as all the other systems of government just preemptively pardon anyone#if there's a policy that really needs to get passed just do executive order chain where each new person goes 'ditto'#make everything so frickin complicated to untangle that the trump admin has to spend the first 100 days#just sorting through paperwork#maybe malicious compliance and bureaucracy was the answer all along#'i guess you guys wanna do autocracy but we're gonna make it really irritating for you'
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the return of the halloweiners! looks like they've really improved last year's costumes ...
#martyn art#shut up i’m not late it’s still the 31st in my state (<- liar)#MAN this was another tough one but i’m very happy with it :) loved coming up with designs that reference their originals#was gonna have some extra doodles of these guys but i barely got by already. maybe tomorrow#the bristles on chihiro's broom are meant to be cables & wires if you couldn't tell!!#EDIT: i finally fixed the thing w her cape :)#chihiro fujisaki#kiyotaka ishimaru#mondo oowada#danganronpa#trigger happy havoc#tw bright colors
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I won't be able to finish this drawing before the convention, which will take up my next 5 days.. But I want to talk a little about him.. I've been thinking about golems and Frankenstein, and the trans body, projection and misunderstanding, villainization and death.
The concepts of Frankenstein's monster and the golem have been swimming in my head for a while, and their lore intertwining.. The tragedy of existing being seen as a monster no matter how you try,.. And the Golem, a protector of his people and a servant whose only flaw always rang a bit close to home as an an autistic person-- being too literal in execution of his orders. He's tired and struggles with a yearning for death. His havdalah candles will be out.. The first flame of the week, a spark of starting over again-- The flame brings him fear. As much as he's kept himself together he doesn't know how much longer he can keep doing it, he fears failure- but the fear of what may happen if he's gone is even more terrifying. He's lived a long life, and over time the one who formed him has sculpted him to the golem's own wishes.. From nothing to the man he is- but even with that effort, to outsiders he's still a monster. His skin is different shades of clays from varying riverbeds as his people have travelled.. Golems are unformed, imperfect.. but even as outsides can be polished the insides can still be broken
#i have a million thoughts on him but will only put a little ramble i guess#jewish art#trans art#you ever think about how no matter how hard you try as a trans person at the end of the day a large amount of people will still see you#as trans. doesnt matter how acceptable you look#the same thing is with jewishness for me.. it's been like a damage multiplier on top of transness.#it doesnt matter how nice i try to be or how caring. it doesnt matter how many good things i do im still a jew to a large amount of people#even within the queer community haha :') ive felt it so often in queer communities here.#this little guy is gonna be where i store that experience as a trans jew. it goes in the frankengolem#i like the thought of frankenstein's fear of fire being incorporated into him in his fear of both rest and havdalah..#he doesnt feel safe to rest. he dreads the new week. his entire life he spends in dread even if he wants to protect his loved ones#gently pats the top of his head.. this boy's autistic#long text#bare chest#death#cw death#tw death#just in case
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pages 3-4. woah. part 2 of this
Next
#sigh i know whats coming and its gonna take sooo long to draw dfjvndefjdkfgrjdkf#sonic#sth#shadow the hedgehog#comic#au#sonic au#art#fanart#digital art#already on page 3 i was like. damn i really made this hard on myself with all that rendering n shit sdvfgdbgghtgfhtd#BUT I WANNAAAAA#see. if it doesnt look on paper like it looked in my brain then there is no point. sowwy me#you will have to draw. a lot#also i still didnt write a lot of it this will just end with a void dfvgrfnjyrt#blood#tw blood
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DO YOU THINK MAYBE IN-HO REALLY WANTED GI-HUN TO LEAVE AND GO VISIT GA-YEONG NOT JUST TO HAVE HIM AWAY FROM THE GAMES BUT ALSO BECAUSE IN-HO CAN NEVER HAVE WHAT GI-HUN STILL DOES?? A CHILD?!! DO YOU THINK IN-HO TOLD GI-HUN TO BOARD THAT PLANE BECAUSE IF HIS WIFE AND CHILD HAD SURVIVED IN-HO WOULD HAVE BOARDED!! THAT!! PLANE?!!?!!!!! DO YOU- DO YOU THNIK HHHHHHHhhhh
#i'm gonna pass out#and gayeong is only a little older than inhos child would have been#look look i think maybe#i think#if his wife hadn't died he very likely would not have become the frontman#family is so important to inho#and he can't have it anymore#hell he can't even have his brother or stepmother anymore#and then there is this man this good kind man and he THROWS AWAY his chance to finally be happy with his daughter THAT HE STILL HAS#just to FIND INHO#can't even begin to comprehend what inho must've felt#he was probably freaking out flipping his shit because THIS MAN DECIDED TO NOT GO SEE HIS DAUGHTER AND INSTEAD FIND HIM#DO YOU THINK IN SOME FUCKED UP WAY INHO FELT GOOD AND WANTED??????#WHAT DO YOU THINK AHHHHHH????(#anywaysss#lea's random thoughts#seong gi hun#hwang in ho#seong ga yeong#457#inhun#gihun x inho#squid game#tw caps#seong gihun#hwang inho#i'm talking about the airport scene at the end of s1 btw if that wasn't obvious
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vocaloid toxic yuri???
#mayutei#good boat yes or no; i can take it#ship name pending im still thinking about it#im not#sukone tei#MAYU#art#digitalart#artists on tumblr#digital art#illustration#not really happy with this one but dont worry i have more#might make covers with them too maybe??#digital aritst#fanart#my art#digital illustration#ship art#shipping#i was gonna say more but then forgot#tei sukone#utau#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#vocaloid MAYU#yandere#tw blade#tw knife#tw blood
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Alright yeah, Angel Jay is canon.
Or I guess post-canon cuz it doesn't happen til after the series is over.
@irisflowers I did this cuz of your comment lol.
#my art#marble hornets#tw eye contact#jay marrick#tim wright#vampire au#he's only visible via cameras and he is willing and able to fist fight the operator#i still have no idea how the comics and skully's hole deal fit into this au so for now im just gonna say they dont
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still thinking about it so heres a bunch of stuff
#like everything's colors are placeholders i never learned color theory#like i know “use colors next to eachother or directly opposite on the color wheel” but like#the way everyone describes it makes me feel like theres more to it#and im just too stupid to comprehend it#still like lineless/whatever the rw artstyle is#gradient tool my beloved. i need to mess with it more often#alice n beau live in jcjs superstructure cause its filled with free food (his brain) and a bunch of things to experiment with (his organs)#ive attempted to redesign abs like twelve different times now#i wonder how long this attempt will last before i hate it again#always caught between wanting to stylize to hell and back and wanting to be accurate to the source material#abs is supposed to be like a Really Really Early iterator#so she doesnt have tone modulation or the ability to express much facially and barely looks humanoid under the cloak#which i didnt draw because i couldnt settle on a Look for it#and in her single minded focus to annihilate jcj shes been neglecting herself to explain the motor function errors and also her can explodi#g#oh right normal tags#art#murder drones#rain world#i should invent a tag for this but i dunno what to call it#id love to gossip about all the stuff ive thought up for this au thing but 1. nobody cares 2. i cant talk for that long and 3.#i havent written like half of it down#if i had the confidence to even attempt writing i'd totally do an ao3 fic about this#hi living shifting oil guy/girl/thing i know you're gonna be like the only person to read this far#oh uhh#body horror#tw body horror#i think thats how you do it#probably should've added those first. oops
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listen. I have never watched Riverdale and never will. but that doesn’t mean I’m not sO FUCKING PISSED at the polycule ending.
I’m not mad about the polyamory (I would like to stress this point for anyone who wants to come after me for this post), I’m mad that Jughead Jones, one of, like, the two aroace characters in media people have actually maybe heard of (the other being Yelena Belova) is part of this romantic, sexual relationship.
he’s ace!!!
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he’s aro!!!
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and it fucking stings that the writers thought it was okay to erase that aroace rep when there’s next to none for us to begin with.
fuck your amatonormativity and fuck your queer erasure. we aspecs deserve better.
#“bUt aRi aTtrAcTioN iSn’T aCtiOn!!1! hE cOuLd sTiLL bE aRoAcE iN riVeRdaLe!1!11”#yeah I’m aware of that but I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT WAS WHAT THE WRITERS WERE GOING FOR#and do you fucking think your average allo is gonna read it that way even if it was???#also tbh I Do Not trust allo writers to tell that kind of story without perpetuatinflg erasure#can’t have shit in detroit I guess#tw aphobia#asexual#aromantic#aroace#riverdale#riverdale finale#aroace jughead#anti riverdale#fuck amatonormativity
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You're all despicably selfish. Imagine choosing money over human lives.
#prices go up and there's a bit of inflation and suddenly you all think you're living in the weimar republic#i fucking hate all of you who voted for him#or who stayed home and didn't vote#thankfully the constitution is very difficult to amend cause that's probably gonna be the only damage control we have for the next 4 years#us politics#election 2024#2024 presidential election#did you guys learn NOTHING after 2016.#uspol tw#i try to keep this blog relatively free of politics. but i am still pissed.#people are gonna die from this.
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But we sing it anyway
#I never make my poetry/webweaving design stuff into gifs anymore and this reminded me why. the stress of having to find videos that fit????#evil evil pcitures r SO much easier to find still not easy it takes like 30+ mins but finding all of these took like an hour +#nhl#sidney crosby#connor mcdavid#macklin celebrini#kyle.gif#nhledit#sidneycrosbyedit#connormcdavidedit#macklincelebriniedit#flasshing images tw#edits**#like 3 hrs of work and I hate it wth. im gonna scream thanks bye
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I used to dislike Lazarus Pit Madness headcanons but I've seen people say "he doesn't need magic madness he has normal madness" and "why would you need a magical explanation for his behaviour have you people never heard of cptsd" and while I understand the sentiment (and Jason definitely has cptsd) this is exactly what I'm talking about when I say dc has a dangerous habit of demonizing/villanizing mental illness and it has a real impact on the fandom's perception of mental illness. Winnick isn't the worst when it comes to Jason's writers but the fact that he wrote Jason as both a brilliant hypercompetent villain and a sympathetic character that makes you go "oh hey, he has a point..." should not distract you from the fact that no, decapitation is not a common symptom of cptsd.
#i told myself i'd let it go because I understand the annoyance with the idea of the pit madness#and the points that were made to a certain extent#but i keep seeing it and it's so frustrating#i just had a conversation with a friend the other day who said “oh i never thought about it like that”#“to me it's fine if they don't have accurate depictions of mental illness because it's just comics it doesn't have to accurately depict life#“it's not gonna have an impact”#but then i log in and it visibility has had an impact if people are saying that#and i understand the appeal of jason as a villain#no hate to the fans#this is clearly on dc. they have a responsibility.#also fucking kill the joker omg#dc critical#jason todd#jason todd deserves better#tw psychophobia#red hood#under the red hood critical#i still think red hood jason is a fascinating character#and he does have cptsd#but it's a villanized/demonized depiction of it and we should acknowledge that
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Drive to Survive Season 6, Episode 9
#daniel ricciardo#f1#*#**#dts#dts6#they edited this to appear like this was singapore but this was literally brazil and he was already driving in brazil#his hands still hurt this bad in brazil#the way his lips literally turned pale im gonna kms#i want to expunge this scene from my memory but i can't and if i have to look at this you have to too 😭#tw injury#tw injuries
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