#still funny that even with trying to think about them my brain still ened up drifting jdslkfjd

[elisedonut]

you know maybe there's some fun irony you can pull with Cedric/Percy where Cedric still dies

because if we are going a Cedric going behind Cho's back situation (or like if he was just never actually with her or a beard situation or just an outright au where it just didnt happen)

then you have Percy's first girlfriend almost dying

and then his boyfriend legit dying

and then if you choose to put him with another person who dies/has something bad happen to them (Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Stan, Anyone you just want to have die that we don't know the fate of )

(Or if you want to be really spicy Colin, where Colin and Dennis end up staying with Percy while they are on the run because of that fun Percy hiding people in his own flat concept that I really like and like Colin develops feelings from the close contact even though nothing really happens leading to an even more fucked situation where Percy's been keeping him at arms length for a lot of reasons but a small part of him hoping it will help keep him safe and that failing anyway)

we can give him a complex

[whats-she-gonna-post-next]

May I request Snowbugs?? With Tango realizing he likes his ex’s (Jimmy) ex (Scott)?

_____

Ngl, don't know how I messed up the ask thing here... sorry? I think? I'm very bad at Tumblr for someone who has been here 10+ years.

Anyways, I am also sorry this took so long. My brain would not let me write forsome reason e en though I adored this prompt. But here it is! Please enjoy these 854 words that too way too long to write!

---

It was a random Tuesday in the middle of March when Tango realized.

He’d made what he could admit was a less than stellar joke that had somehow manage to catch Scott off guard and causing him to laugh and-

Tango was in trouble.

He could listen to that laugh all day, watch as mirth tugged up his lips, as cool blue eyes turned warm, a knowing sparkle that invited you into the joke-

Tango was in big trouble.

When Tango and Jimmy had broken up, he’d counted himself lucky - though perhaps not entirely unsuprised - that they had remained friends. Jimmy had, after all, a habit of remaining friends with exes. Something that had originally worried Tango at the beginning of their relationship, but was comforting when the two had mutually decided that being together just wasn’t in the cards for them, that no one in their friend group had to choose sides, and that he got to keep the news friends he had made through Jimmy.

Like Scott, who’s laugh was finally calming down, who was shifting, turning to face Tango more fully, causing a beam of sunlight to illuminate his cyan waves, creating a halo of light behind him.

Tango was in such big trouble.

“I’m going to go catch up with Cleo,” his voice is amused as he grins full force at the blond, “before you make me pass out due to lack of oxygen.”

Scott pats his shoulder as he move away from Tango before he could try to pul, himself together enough for a response, leaving him to watch him go, a blush high on his cheeks and his mouth hanging ever so slightly open.

Scott was, in a word, amazing.

Tango had always kinda known that was the case, but it was hitting him suddenly how great he was. He was kind, and funny, and cute, and-

And Jimmy’s ex.

Tango buries his burning face in his hands, a defeated kind of groan pulling itself from the depths of his chest.

“You good there, Tango?” A voice calls, and the moment gets worse, lifting his head to look into soft, sweet brown eyes.

“Hey Jimmy, yeah, I’m- I’m fine, promise.”

“That’s good,” he pauses, staring off into the crowd where Scott that disappeared, “he’s quite pretty, isn’t he?”

Tango jolts like he’s been shocked, staring wide eyed at Jimmy.

“Wh-what- what do you- I mean, like- objectively he- I-“ Tango’s words jumble in his mouth, coming out incomprehensible as the smirk on Jimmy’s face grows. He tries for a few more minutes before sighing, slumping with defeat, “I’m sorry, I know it’s weird.”

“Weird? How so?” Jimmy sounds so confused that for a moment, Tango forgets his reasoning.

“Because… well… he’s your ex? And I’m your ex? And like… isn’t there like… a code or something? That says I shouldn’t even be interested in him?”

Jimmy takes a moment to absorb the words before promptly bursting out laughing. Tango’s face burns a deeper red.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes between laughs, “I don’t mean to laugh it’s just, I forget sometimes, that you’re still pretty new to the group. You don’t know the lore yet.”

“The lore?” Tango asks, vaguely incredulously, “what do you mean *the lore*?”

Jimmy sat down beside him, bumping their shoulders together lightly as the laughter finally tappered off. It’s a familiar gesture, a casual touch that never failed to warm Tango, that Jimmy always used in place of a verbal ‘relax.’

“I really don’t mean to laugh at you,” he reaffirms, “it’s actually really sweet that you are worried about that, but it’s entirely unnecessary. It’s just that pretty much everyone in this group has an ex who’s dated another ex. Hell, it wouldn’t even be the first time one of my exes has dated Scott.”

Tango stares at him, mouth slightly agape. He tried to ask follow up questions , but all that came out of his mouth was a stuttered mess of vowels and consonants that had Jimmy off giggling again.

Eventually they both calmed down again, sitting beside each other in amicable silence for a few moment, catching their breath.

“I do get it,” Jimmy told him after a moment, “the idea of it does go against… a lot of societal norms, but it works for us.”

And in a way, Tango completely gets it. Everyone gets along, there is a general sense of compatibility and comfort. It had taken Tango a good bit of time when he and Jimmy first got together to get used to the general touchy-ness that came with simple hang outs. He could see why the lines might get blurred, how easily people fell together and apart. When he actually put some thought into it, it made sense, in a way.

“Is this your way of saying I have your blessing?” Tango asked, only mostly joking.

Jimmy smiled, soft and genuine, “If that’s what you need to hear, yeah, absolutely you have my blessing.”

Tango couldn’t pretend that didn’t relax him, just a little.

Maybe he wasn’t in as much trouble as he feared.

[orionicchaos]

Summer Love Club!

a genshin impact smau | tartaglia x gn!reader

Chapter 3 : first meeting

You let out a sigh as you finish the sixth "one last chapter and then I go to sleep" chapter, not feeling tired in the slightest. It is already three a.m. and you can't sleep at all, even if you had an exhausting day walking around your village, trying to find new secrets in the old and abandoned houses. You know you already discovered all those secrets a while ago, when this now foreign feeling of excitement disappeared from your chest and you started feeling bored.

You turn off your phone, placing it on you stomach for a while, before turning it on again and leaving the warm sheets of your bed for the cool air of your bedroom. Quietly, you then leave your room, taking care to not wake up your parents. You lead to the kitchen, serving yourself a glass of water, before thinking about what you should do. You take some biscuits you find on the table and eat them. You sigh, as they don't taste really good, and decide to go outside to breath some fresh air.

In the dark of the night, the cold is frightening, even at the beginning of summer. You look up at the stars, trying to warm yourself up by rubbing your arms with your hands. Tonight, the sky is bright, the resplendent moon is laying its eyes on you, like a second sun, calmly protecting you from any harm, and you find comfort in its reassuring presence above your head.

In your garden, you have a yellow little swing hung to a tree. Your father built it for you when you were twelve, and you don't know if you could still use it. Well, time to try!

You chose a music in your phone, something to break the loud silence, and you start swinging, as a few memories are being brought back in your mind.

You stay like this for a while, thinking about everything and nothing at once. You don't notice the noices in the street and the person standing in front of you, behind the small wall.

–What are ya doin'?

Your brain stops working once it realizes the person is talking in english. You try to bring out your best accent and answer.

–None of your business, and by the way it's literraly three a.m man.

You suddenly feel like you saw this person before. Oh. The "new neighbor" . Right in front of you.

–Wow, that's a really strong french accent!

–On est en France ici, m'sieur (we're in France, sir), you say back.

As you expected, he doesn't seem to understand. You let out a small laugh.

–You really expected people to not have a french accent when being in France? Oh and, I usually don't have an accent, BUT, it's three a.m, and my brain doesn't work correctly.

–I see that, he smiles. Oh, by the way, the name's Ajax!

–Okay Ajax.

–I wanted to say, you have fantastic music tastes, I love Dora the explorer too!

You can feel your cheeks warming a little. Of course, it had to be at this moment!

–It's actually not in my playlist. Anyway, what are you doing here?

–I asked you first!

–I don't care. You're literraly on the verge of walking in my garden.

He chuckles at your comment.

–Well, I was having a little walk around since I couldn't sleep, and I heard music coming from here, so I listened to the little voice in my head and went to check who was listening to music so late in their garden.

He's wearing a cheeky smile on his face while saying this. As you don't reply, he starts talking again.

–Since Dora the explorer isn't your favourite artist, care to share with me your favourite songs?

You sign, and gather your thoughts.

–I moslty listen to my friend's playlists, and sometime I make my own. Dora the explorer main theme is from Heizou's playlist.

His laugh is both funny and sweet, and you realize he's wearing a pyjamas.

–You should go to sleep now, or else you'll ruin that perfect face of yours, pretty boy, you say, almost playfully.

–Wow, are you flirting with me?

–I don't know, do I?

Ajax doesn't know what to reply, and stays stunned for a few seconds, before laughing again. You will not be able to keep that poker face of yours for much longer so you will have to end the conversation as soon as possible.

–You know what? You're cool, I like you. I'll be staying here for two months or more, I don't really know at the moment.

–Okay, cool. Hum.. Are you American? I mean, from the United States?

–Yeah! I have family in France so I came for the summer break, even if my friends wanted to spend some time with me.. Ehhh I kinda regret leaving them but I just couldn't say no to new adventures.. So here I am.

–I'm sure your friends understand. Anyway, I'm sleepy now, thanks for keeping me company Ajax.

–They do! And you're welcome comrade! Like I said, I'll be around for a while so... maybe we'll talk later?

–Yeah, sure!

He gives you a big, cheeky smile, which could make the moon jealous, even that night.

–Bye, cutie!

He runs to his house right in front of yours, crossing the street, almost slamming his door, as you stay silent for a very long minute. Did he said... cutie ?

A blush starts to form itself in your cheeks, and all the things you felt during that small talk begin to slowly burn in your chest. Now, the only thing you can hear is the sound of your own breaths.

Maybe we'll be good friends.

Ajax continues to chat with his friends for a moment, before starting to feel so tired he has to close his eyes once in a while for more than two seconds. He remembers the conversation he had with his new neighbor, a few instants ago, and the absence of emotions they had most of the time. Maybe it was just the mood, the middle of night's vibes that made them so expressionless.

He's happy he was able to befriend someone in a foreign country. Well, he still has to ask for their name, but that isn't that hard. Maybe he should also ask for their number?

He was kind of afraid to spend the summer break all alone, but now, that fear isn't as strong as before. Maybe he could find peace here, maybe more?

♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

SUMMARY | first of july, the end of the school year. as a person who lives in the french countryside, you don’t expect much from this summer… or at least that is until your friend decides to hold a “summer love club” for your friends group, because “we’re all single, we should help each other to find a lover!”. at the same time, an american guy settles near you for the whole summer break.. funny coincidence, isn’t it ?

a.n. | i took time to write the chapter bc... yeah school, i hope you liked it, sorry for all the typos my first language isnt english! no proofread!

TAGLIST : @amyskmk @slvdsjjk @raideneiari @redactedhimbo

if you want to be added to the taglist, comment, dm or send ask :)

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Kylux in French!!! S'il vous plaît!!!

(Hi hello ily my brain isn't working cause i spent the morning gardening i love seeing you in my tags youre so cool ily have a lovely evening <3)

Kylux in french for my beloved <3

It's a very short list of like, 5 fics and 2 authors, but they're good fics and good authors!

The author is going to be jesuisbetejesuispatissiere, here on tumblr under the same username (I don't know if I should tag them or not?), especially two fics:

• La Guerre des Étoilés (110k, 10 chapters)

Le Général Hux est mécontent. Il a un concours de cuisine à gagner contre la brigade de la Petite Résistance mais il doit aussi gérer les sautes d'humeur de son propre coéquipier, Kylo Ren, descendant d'une longue lignée de cuisiniers mythiques. Du Kylux, un soupçon de Luke Skywalker/Wedge Antilles et peut-être un poil de Stormpilot sur le long terme.

-> The fic that fanart made me think of! The author was publishing a translation in english here, it hasn't been updated in 2019 and it only goes up to chapter 6 but since you're reading in french 👀 personally I thought it might not hold up to my current tastes but I reread it like a year ago and it really did! It's great, I love it. The puns are funny, it feels like watching a cooking contest but you also get UST on top, impeccable.

• the En ton nom series, Ben & Sheev (210k & 23 chapters, 198k & 16 chapters)

Le fraîchement promu Général Hux se fait enlever par la Résistance. Enfermé dans une cellule, le seul visage qu'il voit au quotidien est celui de l'homme chargé de l'interroger, un Jedi nommé Ben.

Après avoir fui la Résistance en compagnie de Hux, Ben rejoint le Premier Ordre sous le nom que lui a donné le Leader Suprême Snoke : Kylo Ren.

-> It has been almost 5 whole years since I first read this fic and I'm still mentally ill about it (mostly in a good way). It predates Armitage as a first name for Hux and the ending absolutely destroyed me. I read it during the holidays at like a lunch with family and I was just sobbing in a corner of the room because of these two and I do not regret looking like an idiot in that moment because the emotional Moment was worth it. Absolute masterpiece. If you finish it come tell me about it even if it takes you years because that ending... listen I love the fic so very much but I won't lie that dot dot dot is (derogatory). The emotional wreckage of it was not satisfying to teen me but I'm still thinking about it with minimal prompting 5 years later and that's how you can tell the author did a great job. To be clear this is a cherished memory even if I wasn't crying with joy. There's also an english translation being worked on by im_your_hope!

• I also have good memories of L'autre con, but it's been years so they're just vague memories. It was written as a prompt fill for a fic starting with "Y'a encore l'autre con dans ma chambre", like Y'a encore l'autre con dans my chambre by Hermineuh! (that's uh, "that other dumbass is in my room again") And speaking of Hermineuh...

• Dites-le avec des fleurs by Hermineuh (30k, 6 chapters)

Hux a un secret. Rien d'extravagant ni de malsain, fort heureusement. Juste une petite passion qu'il s'est découverte il y a peu et qu'il compte bien garder pour lui. Ce serait tellement dommage si le Maître des Chevaliers de Ren venait à le découvrir. Vraiment dommage…

-> This right here is my first Kylux fic ever. I read it just after watching episode 7 (I think? or 8?) in bed when I should've been asleep. I was scrolling of FFnet trying to find something interesting, this seemed a safe bet, and then BAM surprise Kylux, and now look at me. Thank you Hermineuh for single-handedly selling me on the ship. This fic changed my life and also it's good!

Okay that's it, the only fandom I have french recs left for is probably Johnlock now haha. Hope you enjoys these!

[boypussydilf]

I M,EANT TO SEND YOU AN ASK LAST NIGHTBUT I FELL ASLEEP. AND THEN I WAS GONNA SEND YOU ONE EARLIER BUT THEN I HAD TO GO DO SOMETHING AND FORGOT. I CAN FINALLY FREAKING SEND YOU ONE BUT YOURE IN POST LIMIT HELL SO I GUESS YOU CAN ANSWER THIS LATER BUT TELL ME ABOUT THE BLUE FROG FREAK. DORORO? I DONT HAVE THEIR NAMES DOWN YET. THE DAD ONE

IT HAPPENS. i live *covered in blood* I love Lance Corporal Dororo. Everyday I wake up in a dream that never ends because of my undying love for him. If that’s a problem for you, then you can go to hell. I LOVE Dororo.

hope none of that is too hard to read i had uh, Thoughts. thinking about it this dude is probably like… THE. ultimate favorite character. of all time. he fundamentally altered my brain chemistry and i would do anything in the world for him.

so like, dororos family is super rich. thats literally why he n keroro became friends in the first place, bc they went to the same Military Prep Elementary School and one time keroro went to dororos house and saw that his family was LOADED and that he had all the COOL toys so he immediately went WERE FRIENDS RIGHT? so he could hang out w dororo to play w the cool toys. and dororo had had very few friends in his life before that so he went Yeah of course! and then spent his entire childhood doing pretty much whatever keroro asked so they would stay friends. but anyway, i don’t think his family being rich counts for anything at present, since he’s on earth, and i dont know if he like… has. any money. that is viable on earth. he must get some money somehow since he & koyuki like, have a house and are alive? but she doesn’t seem to have like, a job or anything, and i doubt he steals from the invasion budget so like. i dont know where the money comes from and there can’t be very much of it.

ALSO I OOVE THAT THE BLORBO BLINGUS ASK GAME LETS ME THINK ABT CHARACTERS PLAYING MINECRAFT. I know dororo canonically knows how to use a computer bc i just rewatched the episode where the platoon tries to make their own anime today and he uses a computer to do the coloring digitally but like. Dororo does not know how to use a computer. He first learned about stuff on earth from koyuki who spent half her life in a completely isolated village and only got out after she met him and he hasn’t branched out much since. I don’t know if we ever see him play video games or anything like that. I don’t think he would know how to do that. I think the tiny crappy radio he & koyuki have is the most technology hes comfortable with. “i don’t really like using these computers they freak me out” “Dororo you’re from a society with technology way more advanced than this. which you use.” “yeah well this is different”

Anyhow point is i want to see the keroro platoon play minecraft. Dororo keeps trying to build peaceful little houses with nice farms and they keep getting accidentally blown up or burnt down by everyone else. Tamama is in the caves trying to befriend slimes and when he finds out he can’t he just starts killing them en mass. Everyone goes to check out what Kururu is doing and he’s made one of those fully functional redstone computers, for fun.

ALSO ID ALWAYS CALLED DORORO KOYUKIS DAD BUT I NEVER REALLY REALIZED WOW HE LEGIT DOES ACT LIKE IT HUH. hi welcome home how do you like your new school :) its so sweet… i bet he has like 3 backup plans for attempting to homeschool her if anything happens that keeps her from going to public school. i bet they make lunches together. god, this is sweet, but also really funny to imagine, because he is less than 2 feet tall, and round. i watched an episode today that starts w koyuki coming home and dororo is just on the ground loudly sobbing and shes like oh did you fight with your friends again? and then thinking about friends makes her flashback to her childhood best friend & when she met dororo So Hard that she just falls asleep. while hes still there on the floor loudly crying about how he wonders if keroro even considers him a friend. theyre so funny

ok i guess thats all thanks for coming to my dororo talk <3 This post is so long. Tee hee!

[kaygee-doodles]

I absolutely love your fic and your Reader, she's a riot! Hands down the best Reader/OC ever. Also love that you don't use Y/N and instead leave gaps, because my brain keeps reading Y/N as Yes/No or Why En and it's incredibly distracting and why I normally avoid reader self-inserts. So one question that's been haunting me: in chapter 14 Readz and Nurse Polekit talk about pregnancy by a monster as if it's a possibility, so I'm dying to know how the boys would react if she ever DID become pregnant

So many people have asked about this! The answers a little longer than usual, so they're all below the cut.

Killer: Very funny. Wait. Are you sure? Are you sure?? He's terrified. He's not parent material. He's not even Drunk Aunt material. He can't do this. Prepare for a rain of CHECKS, then a very miserable and overemotional week when he fucks off like a child and hides for five to ten days. Oh, he's not actually gone, he's hiding very close by to make sure the other boys take good care of you. Though, if one of them should say, slip in what Killer perceives to be their duty...well, he'll roll in and bring hellfire and brimstone with him. Yeah, he'll be fine in the end.

Horror: Really? Really really? He thought- well, it doesn't matter. He'll need to talk to Nightmare, see about paternity leave or, fuck, maybe he should just retire? Can he do that? Probably not. Oh, but you're eating for two now, so, he'll have to talk about expanding the supply runs anyway. He is so excited. He thinks...a lot of things. It's a little overwhelming. He's in no condition to be a father, and the environment is terrible, but oh! Baby-bones! His baby bones! From you! Expect over protection up to taping off hard edges with that baby-safe puff tape. He'll need a lot of emotional support, he's very worried he'll hurt the baby on accident, or worse, forget about something important, but physically, he's got this. You will be doted on, protected, and fed. Oh, just wait until he tells his brother.

Nightmare: He knew before you did, of course, but...are you sure about this? He doesn't actually know anything about children, or what kind of child he'd end up siring. Would it look like him now? Or him from...before. He has a lot of research to do, but he'll let you know about everything he finds, even if it's just "Apparently babies sleep most of the time. That's weird." He doesn't have any real parenting reference to go by, so he'll be very by the book until you can get him to loosen up. He's very apprehensive, which can manifest in being snappy and waspish. He'll also try to keep you in the castle as much as possible. God forbid Dream find out about this.

Error: If you try to tell him in person, he'll crash. And just keep on crashing. Maybe leave a note, or send him a "Multiverses Okayest Dad" shirt. He didn't actually know he could still, uh, do that. He's not entirely sure he wants a baby? He's pretty sure he'll do a bad job. In fact, he's weirdly convinced he might hurt the baby just by touching you. You guys are going to have to take it really slow. Be patient. He's terrified.

Dust: He's sorry. He didn't mean to, he really didn't, he won't blame you for whatever you're going to-...you...you're keeping them? You want to keep his baby bones? He'll legit cry. He loves you so much, and he is so sure this isn't going to end well but fuck it, he'll take what he can get. And apparently, he can get a family. You won't get a chance to tell anyone else, he's going to tell everyone.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 313: Deku VS Lady Nagant

Previously on BnHA: Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai Lady Nagant showed up to fire a cupid’s arrow into my heart, and a bunch of literal bullets into my son. Deku was all “oh shit it’s Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai, what do I do, let me think back to Hawks’s advice for a sec.” Flashback!Hawks was all “anyway Deku so if my super-hot badass murder senpai ever shows up you’re basically screwed so you’d better abscond the fuck out of there.” Present!Deku was all “lol idek why I flashed back to that conversation since I’m just going to do the exact opposite of what Hawks said” and charged directly toward Nagant because WHY NOT. Overhaul was all “waah I need to get back to my boss who I put in a coma out of love” and Nagant was all “jesus christ why did I even bring you here” and had a flashback to AFO who was all “ILU NAGANT IMMA GIVE YOU AN EXTRA QUIRK SO PLEASE CAPTURE DEKU FOR ME PLEASE AND THANKS” and yeah. Shit is all over the place right now and I love it.

Today on BnHA: All Might gets attacked by a pair of discount assassins and is all “Call an ambulance! ...BUT NOT FOR ME” and it’s really badass but also I really wish he would stop tempting fate like this. Lady Nagant is all “[casually flies around town shooting shit]” and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t read an entire chapter of just that. Deku is all, “[gets shot (≥_<)]” and releases a giant Smokescreen which prompts En to show up. En is all, “( •᷄⌓•᷅ ) (⌣̀ Δ⌣́) ( •̀_•́ )σ (¬､¬) (눈_눈)” which I consider to be a high point of both the chapter and of my life. The chapter ends with Deku using the Third’s quirk to launch a bunch of random objects at Nagant so that he can jump up and grab her arm all sneaky-like, and I’m sure this is going to prompt another week’s worth of discourse that I don’t care about at all, but fuck it, I’m having a good time.

OH WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO ALL MIGHT WELL THAT’S NICE I GUESS. CONGRATS ON NOT BEING DEAD

you named your car??

you named it Hercules??

I love you so much??

please marry me you giant fucking dork???

lmao speaking of huge fucking dorks

who the fuck are you clowns. la dee da we’re gonna murder All Might with our synchronized spear attack!! I mean... they’re clearly trying their best... maybe I should just be nice and politely hype them up like All Might is so clearly trying to do

like okay, but we all agree that this is actually the least intimidating attack any of us has ever seen, right?? these guys zipped up their hoodies all serious-like and are trying to attack All Might and Hercules with their Walmart tiki torches, but just, no?? right?? like the only way this could possibly be effective is if they were trying to kill All Might with secondhand embarrassment

“those are assassins” this is a VERY generous assessment, All Might

OH MY GOD THE TIKI TORCHES ACTUALLY KILLED THE FUCK OUT OF HERCULES

[slaps roof of car] this baby can fit so many weaponized festive backyard lighting solutions in it

and yet, even after watching this with my own two eyes, I still can’t take these dudes seriously. idek what it is. anyways r.i.p. Hercules, I loved you a lot but I guess you weren’t actually a very good armored car were you

omg they didn’t know it was All Might??

okay 1) for a moment there I was like “oh hey maybe they’re not so bad after all” but then a moment later it was like “ah nope, they are.” like, that was an interesting .06 second emotional journey there. anyways 2) All Might you have my permission to kick their asses for this disrespect, and 3) anyone else all of a sudden getting “wouldn’t this be an interesting time for Stain to suddenly show up” vibes?? no?? just me???

(ETA: hmm tbh I’ve still got those vibes and they haven’t gone away lol. Stain?? you out there buddy?? do you want to be cool for just once in your life. ball’s in your court pal.)

OH SNAP ALL MIGHT ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO IT ARE YOU GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES

PROTECTIVE DAD MODE ACTIVATED?? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M HERE FOR THAT SHIT, SO YEAH, FEEL FREE

omg he’s shouting at them about how much Deku has suffered lmao and they’re just like falling over from being scolded

so they have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about though, right? “SIR THIS IS A WENDY’S” well whatever, you killed his pet car so he’s in a bad mood now

OH MY GOD

LIKE, JUST SO WE’RE ALL CLEAR, THESE FOUR PAGES SO FAR HAVE MADE ALMOST ZERO SENSE. LIKE MAYBE 2% SENSE TOPS. BUT ASK ME IF I CARE. GO AHEAD AND ASK. I SAID GO AHEAD, IT’S OKAY. ...NO I DON’T CARE AT ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING

(ETA: also, the more I look at this panel, the more I’m just like, why the hell would you phrase it like that though, sob. way to doubly tempt fate?? are you trying to give Horikoshi a challenge??)

and now back to Deku who is randomly bouncing around the city and narrating it to himself just in case he was confused about why he was doing this

who are you talking to Deku. but thanks we appreciate it

man you gotta love that overconfidence. the smartest guy in the world warned you away from this lady, so SURE, LET’S RUN RIGHT UP TO HER. “I APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT, FLASHBACK!HAWKS, BUT I’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE” well okay then!!

I think it would be funny if RHA.com put little Buzzfeed-style polls in between the chapter pages so they could survey people at random intervals as they read their way through the chapter. like, you finish this page and then there’s a little poll there asking “do you think Deku’s plan of catching up to Lady Nagant and finding out where Shigaraki is will work?”, and you click “no” just like everyone else and then nod as the results show that 97% of your fellow readers also picked “no”, and you chuckle to yourself wondering how many of the 3% accidentally clicked on the wrong option by mistake, and then you keep on reading

ANYWAY, SO

HOW’S THAT PLAN WORKING OUT FOR YOU SO FAR DEKU. nice kick, though!!

omggggggg

ouch

update: Deku’s plan not really working out. sources tell me my boy has been fucking shot. this is an ongoing story and we will keep you posted with the latest developments as they come in

wait what

feel free to explain to the rest of us what all of this “UNLESS...” and “THAT POSSIBILITY...” shit means anytime, Deku

oh lol did he realize she could fly??

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE, CNN’s John King reports that Deku is still fucked. eyewitness reports now coming in that Nagant is doing no-look shots and basically not even giving a fuck. sources described her mannerisms and expression as “sexy, but in like an effortless sort of way.” we will continue to bring you the latest

so now there’s basically an entire page of Deku being all “ah fuck so she’s basically closing in and she could already hit me with impossible accuracy even from Far Away, so if that’s the case then her being Up Close is probably going to be even worse!” making good use of that Big Hero Brain there, Deku

so now what, you’re doing some kind of spiraling kick thing?? how is that going to help

oh lol he’s using Smokescreen to create some cover. aww, good for you Deku you named one of your Smokescreen attacks

OH NO LADY DON’T TELL ME AFO DIDN’T EVEN FILL YOU IN ON THE BASICS

seriously, AFO?? you basically told her what Deku’s exact strategy was going to be but then couldn’t be assed to drop that little, small, barely notable piece of knowledge that Deku is rocking multiple quirks?? is it supposed to be a secret or something?? you dropped the ball here man

damn this is getting intense now

(ETA: the way En is poking Deku’s head in that first panel is fucking sending me, I love this guy so much omg.)

well then what are you planning, Deku?? I’m actually really curious!! I am genuinely starting to be invested in this fight scene not only in the “wanting to see who wins and how that impacts the plot” sense, but also in the “wanting to see how it happens because the choreography and strategy is actually pretty cool” sense, which honestly hasn’t happened for quite a while now! this is fun

anyway so what’s up Deku, are you going to use another quirk?? I’ve been speculating that he hasn’t actually unlocked the last two yet (since Two and Three didn’t exactly seem convinced when we last saw them), but maybe I’m about to be proven wrong

(ETA: well he clearly has Three’s obviously, but Two’s is still MIA, and that’s the one I am of course the most curious about. that’s the one we’re all curious about, let’s be real.)

OH SNAP???

AHHHH I’M HYPED LOL. ANOTHER SHINY NEW QUIRK LOL SHOULD I PUT UP THE USUAL DISCOURSE DISCLAIMER

(ETA: so yeah, after thinking on it, I’m not gonna say “please no Deku discourse on my blog” this week, but I probably will ignore any discourse that does come my way though, just because I don’t have much interest in getting involved in what would probably be a pretty repetitive discussion. like, I can just sum up my opinions (which is what they are) here instead. in fact here they are lol:

1) I like the SIXQUIRKS and I like seeing Deku be a badass.

2) I also don’t think Deku is too OP. more like he’s exactly as OP as he needs to be at the moment, given that we’re approaching the end of the series. I expect the other kids will also be pretty damn OP when we see them fight again. we’re just at that point now where they’re all badasses (as well they should be; they’ve grown a lot and they deserve it). it’s just that Deku’s the one we’re getting to see right now.

3) of course I miss Kacchan and the others, but for me this vibes much closer to the MVA arc where even though I missed them, I was still having a blast (as opposed to the dark days of the Basement arc where I was pretty much losing it lol). like, even though Kacchan’s my favorite, I still love Deku a lot and this arc has been amazing for him getting to shine on his own (for like the first time, really).

4) y’all know I love the OFA plot and I’ve never been shy about that lol. I like all of the Vestiges a lot. Banjou and his over the top personality; En and his “guy you thought would be serious and :| all the time but is actually hyper-animated and ALL OVER THE PLACE” energy; Shiro who actually is a :| sort of guy lol; Three who I still expect will be fleshed out in a more detailed flashback at some point; and of course Two, who, well. you know what I think about him lol. Bakuverse is still on the table and I’m still hyped. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we still have yet to see Two actually talk to Deku (as opposed to talking to the other Vestiges while Deku is distracted). did he lend him his power yet?? or is he still holding out?? either way it’s definitely going to be a Big Thing when it finally happens and I can’t wait to see it.

5) Lady Nagant is Everything and just because Deku grabbed her arm doesn’t mean the fight is over yet lol. Overhaul hasn’t come into play yet either. not to mention that even if the fight is over, the “where do we go from here” part still has me excited either way. her connection to Hawks and the HPSC is very intriguing and we’ve barely touched on that as of yet; she definitely has more of a role to play in this.

6) last but not least, I feel like every week the discussion is all about how much focus Deku’s getting, and how OP he is or isn’t, and OFA this and OFA that, but meanwhile I’m actually so invested in the character development here though?? the way Deku has distanced himself from everyone (except for the Vestiges, because of course they’re already dead so it’s not like they can die again lol)?? the way he’s pushing himself far too hard and we can see the shadows in and under his eyes, and the fact that he never smiles, and even All Might has remarked on how he isn’t taking care of himself at all?? the fact that he’s so single-mindedly obsessed with focused on stopping AFO?? the fact that he’s still the same sweet old Deku despite everything and was so kind to that fox lady with the umbrella, but there was also something so sad about that scene because it felt like a reminder of the type of hero that he wants to be, but that he’s not allowed to be right now?? because the stakes are too high and the world is falling apart?? and he feels like he’s the only one who can do something about it?? and that he has to be?? and that he is putting so much pressure on himself right now, and it’s absolutely too much pressure for any one person to bear, and I feel like no one is fucking talking about this lol goddammit.

anyway so yeah. I have feels about this, and every week that slow-burn angst is getting more and more intense behind the scenes, and I feel like it’s all going to hit a breaking point eventually. sooner rather than later. it really feels like a mirror of Katsuki’s post-Kamino arc. where all that angst was just churning below the surface for like twenty chapters and then it finally was like “okay it’s time” and it all came bursting out and we got the best five chapters of the fucking series (in my admittedly biased estimation lol).

basically, I know that most of fandom is billing this as either the “villain hunt” arc or the “solo Deku SIXQUIRKS fighting arc” or whatever. but for me, it’s always been and still is the Deku Angst arc lol. the cool fights are a sexy bonus (the worldbuilding less so because even though it’s interesting to see society at such a low point, it’s also very depressing and gets old pretty fast), but for me the thing that’s really keeping me engaged chapter after chapter is seeing Deku like we’ve never seen him before. seeing him all quiet and withdrawn and brooding and focused on AFO, AFO, AFO, and seeing that “he just doesn’t take himself into account” mentality taken to extremes. I am invested in that. I’m soaking up that angst each and every week, and I’m invested in seeing what comes of it. it’s a big picture thing. week to week this arc might just seem like a bunch of villain fight scenes, sure. but Deku’s emotional journey is the thread that’s going to carry this arc through from beginning to end, and for that I’m willing to be patient.

anyway that turned into a BIG OL’ RANT there but yeah! so those are my thoughts on the disk horse as it currently stands. and like I said, I’m open to discussion, but tbh I will probably just wind up repeating these same talking points endlessly so just a fair warning lol.)

anyway so Three says Deku has yet to use his quirk at ALL but now he’s trying to combine it with another quirk?? damn. also please check out En’s face here you guys

En launching a sneak attack up my favorite character list by the sheer power of his expressions alone. he really knows how to make the most of his screentime

OH DAMN DEKU

at this point the 3% from that hypothetical poll earlier are starting to feel prettttty damn smug, I’ll bet. well shit

what in the fuck

?? so like releasing his chi or whatnot?? isn’t that basically just like base OFA all over again?? also Deku did you seriously just apologize to Gran’s cape

update: Nagant has turned her eyeball into a gun

hm. hmmmmmmm. ...okay yep, still somehow sexy

anyway so she’s just floating up there building suspense, as one does. lord I sure hope she has good reflexes because something tells me she’s going to need them

OH SNAP HE THREW GRAN’S CAPE AS A DECOY WHAAAAT OKAY THAT’S SOME SMART SHIT DEKU

LOL SHE’S MAD NOW

JESUS CHRIST SHE JUST NEVER TAKES A GODDAMN BREAK FROM BEING AWESOME HUH

DEKU ARE YOU JUST THROWING EVERY DAMN THING IN YOUR INVENTORY

but without the cape and the hood how will you continue to look like an enigmatic badass. you really can’t. which means we might finally be moving on from the wandering nomad part of this arc, stay tuned

LOL YOU MANIAC

I hope he went full Kacchan with the dialogue there. his face sure looks like it lol. popped out of a building all mad fdskljlkj omg

well this was fun, shit. I still have basically no idea what Three’s quirk does though lol. like, can he use it to charge up objects with kinetic energy or something?? but then what was all of that talk about combining it with one of the other quirks?? or was that just because he was using Smokescreen at the same time??

(ETA: having seen and read an additional half-dozen explanations of Three’s quirk, I can say with confidence that I still have basically no idea what it is or does.)

anyway so!! Deku is a badasssssss but something tells me not to count Nagant out just yet even so. also I really enjoy seeing Deku flip out on people like he doesn’t have a fucking hole in his torso because it reminds me of A CERTAIN SOMEONE and I always love to see him channeling that feral energy; I feel like it’s been a while

anyways good luck to you both!! I truly wish that both of you could win. but if not, then maybe you can at least become friends instead. you have so much in common, you both can fly and have multiple quirks and you’re both badasses, and plus it would just be really funny to see the look on Hawks’s face lmao

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Go the Distance

Prompt: Hello, I absolutely adore your work 🥺😍🥺 your Sanders Sides angst is just so goooood!!! If you're up to it, I'd love to request a fic <3 Virgil has noticed [side(s?) of your choice; they're all good choices, I can't decide ;-;] has been distant and avoiding him and he just can't figure out what he did wrong but it's actually because [side] loves him and are trying to take some time to 'get rid of/push down their feelings' The angster the better but don't push yourself ^ Feel free to add or change whatever Have a great day and no worries if you don't do this 💜💜💜~@im-an-anxious-wreck 💜🖤

Thanks for the prompt babe you’re the best

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-doubt, some lite™ angst

Pairings: prinxiety, background platonic dlampr because found family dynamics motherfuckers

Word Count:  4191

Virgil and Roman's relationship hasn't always been, well, great. But it's been getting better!

Or, at least, it was.

Listen, Virgil knows he and Roman haven’t exactly had the most…painless history. Virgil’s introduction to the series was Thomas telling Roman his dream was to get rid of him and, well, Roman was first and foremost loyal to Thomas. Then the whole…insult thing, ducking out, and the absolute mess of the callback wedding debacle, it’s not exactly been smooth sailing.

 But—okay, and maybe they’d been a little harsher about things than absolutely necessary, and maybe Roman got hit with the consequences of their fights more than Virgil, and maybe Virgil hadn’t exactly been…overwhelmingly accepting of all of Princey’s little ticks.

 But they’d still been talking!

 After the wedding, no one was on good terms with anyone save Patton and Janus—and wasn’t that the shock of a lifetime—and Remus and Virgil. Because they made the smart choice and decided ‘nope, fuck that, I’m out.’

 It was a good choice. You have any idea how high their scores are in GTFO now? The first rundown’s a fucking cakewalk.

 Anyway.

 They’d been talking! Virgil still doesn’t know exactly what happened right after—he saw the video, of course he saw the video, but Roman sunk right to his room and there’s a good twelve hours between that and the next time Virgil saw him—but Roman had come out and approached him!

 Probably because he was still hurt by the end of the video—which oof, Virgil does not blame him for, that was harsh—and his only options were Logan, Virgil, and Remus and Logan, um, didn’t want to see anyone for a while and Remus is Remus.

 Side note: those two have been getting on better. Something about their twin Creativity thing meant Remus knew that Roman was hurting bad before even Thomas did.

 But Roman did seek him out, asking him quietly if he had a moment, just a moment, to sit together. Virgil had shrugged and passed it off as nothing only for Princey to literally sit on the floor and not make a fucking noise. He’d frowned and poked his shoulder, asking if he was alright.

 “Perfectly fine, Dark and Stormy,” Roman had said lightly, “and I’ll leave you in a moment.”

 “But you’re…” Virgil had waved to his silent form. “…not acting like you normally do.”

 Roman had laughed. “And here I thought I’d never hear you say you missed me being loud.”

 “Now let’s not jump to conclusions.”

 Sure enough, a few more seconds had passed and Roman had gotten up, quietly bid Virgil good day, thanked him, and left.

 You bet your ass Virgil sunk straight into Patton’s room to ask hey what the fuck did you do to Roman.

 Patton had sighed and said that they’re not sure what to do now—‘they’ being Janus and Patton. Virgil, still recovering from the whiplash of those two being close had shaken his head and told them to get it the fuck together.

 If he sunk into Remus’s room to ask how to take care of Roman, that’s his business. It’s also his business if he tackled Princey in a hug two minutes later.

 So. Talking.

 Roman, for all he talks, doesn’t really say much. The few things he does say are easily passed off as jokes, off-handed comments that no one really pays much attention to.

 Not that anyone pays nearly enough attention to Roman, come on, guys, he makes it easy.

 But Roman talked to Virgil. He’d come in and sit and Virgil would sit next to him, trying to make sure his arm didn’t burst into flames from where it was pressed against Princey—the dude’s a fucking space heater, okay?—just to listen. Some of the time it was Disney rants—okay, most of the time it was Disney rants—but some of the time…

 “Virgil?”

 “Yeah?”

 Roman looked down at his costume. Today was repair day, unofficially called when Virgil’s hoodie ripped during the night and Roman’s sword cut through his sleeve. Virgil looked up from his own mass of fabric, needle stuck in carefully so he wouldn’t prick himself. He frowned at the look on Roman’s face.

 “What’s up, Princey?”

 “Do you think my logo looks bad?”

 Virgil blinked in shock. Roman didn’t look up and see the surprise on his face, instead running his thumb slowly over the patch on the costume.

 “What the fuck are you talking about, Princey?”

 “It’s so complicated,” Roman said, still looking down, “Logan and Patton have really simple ones. You have a pretty simple one.”

 “Janus doesn’t. Remus doesn’t.”

 “Yeah, but they’re…”

 Virgil frowned deeper, putting his hoodie on the ground and shifting closer to Roman. The prince didn’t even look up, still clutching his logo in his hands.

 “They’re what, Roman?”

 Roman swallowed. “…allowed.”

 A growl sounded from Virgil’s throat before he knew what was happening.

 “And you’re not?”

 “Hmm?”

 “And you’re not allowed, Roman?” Virgil gripped his shoulder. “Look at me, Princey.”

 Roman looked up. Virgil swallowed another growl at the despondent look on the prince’s face. Instead, he gripped Roman’s shoulder tighter.

 “No one,” he said firmly, “is allowed to tell you your logo is bad. You hear me?”

 Roman blinked.

 “I mean it, Roman,” he said, softening his voice a little, “it’s you. It’s yours, no one’s allowed to tell you it’s wrong.”

 “So that’s…okay?”

 “Yeah, Princey, it’s okay.”

 “Oh.” Roman looked back down at his costume. “Okay. Thank you, Virgil.”

 “Anytime.”

 Virgil would come to be astounded at how much he means that.

 Because, really, now that Roman’s talking? Virgil’s fucking shocked that they didn’t realize how much Roman actually has to offer.

 First off, Princey’s smart as hell. Sure, L’s the resident braincell but you can be big of brain and dumb of ass at the same time.

 If Logan tries to tell you he’s not a dumbass sometimes he is wrong.

 Roman can puzzle solve with the best of them. Do you have any idea how much brainpower it takes to write a story? A script? Understand how all those moving parts fit together and make sense as a whole? Virgil sure as hell didn’t. He spent one afternoon trying to help Roman only for it to end up as Roman explaining what he was doing and Virgil frantically trying to keep up. Don’t even get him started on how impressive the Imagination stuff is.

 “It’s my job, Fall Out Brood,” Roman laughs every single time Virgil expresses how fucking cool this is, “have to be good at something.”

 And Roman is. He’s good.

 Second: Patton may be the heart, Logan may be the brains, but no one is as good at reassuring him as Roman. Probably has something to do with the Creativity gig. Roman had asked, politely, if Virgil would be comfortable telling him what to do when he gets really anxious, whether to leave him alone, get him somewhere safe, get him things, what have you. Virgil had told him, bemused, only to be shuttled into somewhere that screamed safewarmcomfortableeverythingisokay the next time he had a panic attack. Roman, with the lack of shame truly becoming of a theatre kid, had no problems cheering him up by loudly declaring he would fight whatever shadowy figures plagued his little nightmare, swatting at the air with his sword until Virgil’s sobs had turned into giggles. He never made Virgil talk about anything if he didn’t want to, didn’t try to sit and work through things if they weren’t ready, and never touched him unless he’d gotten the okay. The first time Virgil told him he’d be fine with receiving hugs in the aftermath was the warmest he’d felt in years.

 Princey gives really good hugs.

 Third: Roman’s fucking funny.

 Remember the whole ‘smart as hell’ thing? Know how Logan’s funny as fuck too when he lets himself be?

 Virgil’s lost count of how many times he’s had to gasp out for Roman to shut the fuck up because his sides hurt too much from laughing. He ends up sprawled across the fucking floor or the couch or Princey’s bed, dying very happily but painfully because Roman won’t stop making him laugh.

 Most of the time it’s due to something they’re watching and Roman’ll notice some detail that he picks apart until they’re both howling or Virgil will make one sarcastic comment that turns into a full fucking bit for like…ten minutes. Roman will just keep riffing off of the smallest thing until he’s laughing too hard to keep going—not very likely—or Virgil will flail out desperately and smack him—much more likely.

 Princey said he makes fun of the things he loves.

 …maybe that’s why he doesn’t make fun of Virgil anymore.

 Virgil curls tighter around the pillow, clutching it to his chest. As he rubs his cheek against it, he grimaces. It’s too rough. It’s not warm enough. It doesn’t smell right.

 They’d been talking. It had been good.

 But that was before.

 Before Roman had cautiously approached Logan with an apology, the offering of a new planner for him, the promise to listen to him, hear him out, give him space to speak. Logan had accepted.

 Before Roman had opened the border between his and Remus’s side of the Imagination, sending a little puppy scuttling over to his brother’s castle with a note, a dagger, and a vial of acid. It returned as a kitten with a beautifully poisonous rose.

 Before Roman had finally, finally, after days of trying, opened the door when Patton knocked, letting him come inside so they could talk, about everything that happened since…well, ever. They hadn’t stopped hugging long enough to walk down the stairs.

 Before Roman had let Janus, Janus, take care of him.

 And now…

 Now Roman didn’t want to be in the same room as him.

 It feels as if they’re walking on eggshells around each other again, Virgil appearing in a room only for Roman to completely disappear, getting up and leaving a conversation entirely just to avoid him, Virgil knocking on Roman’s door only for Roman to shout that he’s busy, not to come inside, Virgil, trying, trying to figure out where Roman’s gone, what’s happened, only to receive the cold shoulder.

 A problem none of the other Sides seemed to be having.

 He clutches the pillow to his chest.

 Did he—did he do something wrong?

 Does Roman—does Roman not like him anymore?

 Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed so hard about talking to the others. Roman needed space, needed time, he didn’t need someone else breathing down his neck. He should’ve let Roman set the pace, listened more, been kinder to him when he needed reassurance.

 Maybe he shouldn’t have made Roman think it was his fault that the others were taking so long, or suggested that if he wanted things to get better he should try talking first. Roman had been taught by everyone else that things were his fault already, Virgil didn’t need to jump on that train too.

 Maybe he should’ve been kinder to Roman, less focused on making the others understand that they hurt Roman. Everyone in the Mindscape knew that Roman was hurt, Virgil should’ve helped fix that, taken care of Roman, not pushed the blame onto everyone else.

 Maybe Roman didn’t like what he had to say about Disney films. They were Roman’s comfort watches, the last thing he needed was for someone to cruelly rip away his enjoyment of one of the few things he could enjoy.

 Maybe Roman didn’t like Virgil’s way of taking care of him. Virgil never pushed, never did Roman the courtesy of asking, like Roman did with him, just assumed he knew best how to comfort someone and left it there. Roman might’ve needed more hugs, more time, less distraction, just something other than what Virgil gave him.

 Maybe Roman didn’t like how much Virgil ended up hoarding him to himself. Not letting him go to the others for comfort, just to work things out. Maybe he thought Virgil was just keeping him upset so he could hang out with him more.

 Or maybe…

 Virgil muffles his sob in the pillow.

 Maybe Roman needed or wanted him anyway.

 Maybe Roman was just waiting until he could get the comfort he actually wanted. Maybe he waited until the others were easier to talk to so he could go back to what he really needed. Maybe Virgil was just a placeholder until Roman could get hugs from Patton and Remus, talk with Logan and Janus, not him. Never him.

 Maybe that’s…okay.

 It’s not, it won’t be fucking okay for a long time, but one day, it will be okay.

 Virgil curses and throttles the pillow in his arms, wishing for it to be real, to be warm, to be a chest of white and gold and a splash of red, for it to wraps its arms around him and say it’s okay, shadow-ling, I’m here, I won’t leave you, shh.

 But it’s just a pillow.

 Has his room always been this cold?

 Have Disney movies always looked this flat?

 Has music always sounded this gray?

 Has Virgil always been this alone?

 He can hear them in the living room below him. He can hear Roman and Logan throwing quips back and forth, can hear Remus tackling his brother into the wall, and Roman protesting. He can hear Janus scolding Remus and checking to make sure Roman’s not injured, can hear Roman wave him off gently and go right back to verbally sparring with Logan. He can hear Patton laughing too hard, falling off the couch and begging the two of them to let up, let him breathe, can hear Roman coo and call him sweet, adorable, in that soft voice he only uses when he’s talking to someone he cares about.

 Can’t hear any of them worrying about where he is.

 Maybe it’s better this way.

 He got greedy, took too much of what was never his to take, what wasn’t given to him freely. He latched onto the first thing he thought was for him and didn’t stop to think that it wasn’t. He may think he’s been included in the famILY but he knows he’s still an outsider.

 He may be Virgil now but deep down he’ll always be Anxiety.

 So here he will stay, in the cold of his room, in the dark of his face smushed into a pillow that will never be real. He will stay and he will be happy.

 But not today.

 He sniffles and smears his nose on the sleeve of his hoodie, not bothering to pull away from the pillow long enough to wipe tears properly. His limbs start to protest as he hugs it tighter, tighter, tighter, but it’s no use. He can feel his own arms through the pillow. There isn’t enough—there’s too much give in the pillow. It’s just a fucking pillow but it’s not enough.

 Another laugh from downstairs and Virgil growls, burying his head in the pillow until he can’t hear himself think.

 Can’t hear anything but his own muffled sobs ringing in his ears.

 Can’t hear anything other than the thought swirling around and around his head that he’ll never be enough, that he’ll never be wanted, that he’ll never be anything other than Anxiety.

 Can’t hear the soft knock at the door.

 “Virgil?”

 The voices in his head must be getting pretty powerful because he’s certain he can hear Roman calling for him. He buries deeper in the pillow.

 “Virgil? Virgil, can you hear me?”

 Yes, he thinks, yes, I can hear you, which means I’m not crying hard enough.

 “Can I come in, shadow-ling?”

 Yes, he thinks, come in and make me forget that you don’t need me anymore.

 He must really be losing it because he thinks he can hear the door open and close again with a soft click, followed by a sharp intake of breath and a soft coo.

 “Oh, shadow-ling,” the imaginary Roman murmurs, “come here, little Stormcloud.”

 Oh, his imagination is being cruel to him right now because the sensation of warm arms around his waist and shoulders fucking burns. He buries his face in the pillow until he can’t tell which way is up anymore, not sure how he’s tricked himself into imagining Roman’s cradling him but too unwilling to let the illusion go.

 “That’s right, Stormcloud, relax for me, I’ve got you, I’m right here, shh, shh, you’re alright,” the imaginary Roman keeps whispering in that cruelly soft voice, “you’re doing great, shadow-ling.”

 Virgil wants him to be real. So bad he aches from it. But he knows he’s not.

 What happens next breaks his fucking heart.

 The imaginary Roman kisses him.

 It’s chaste, a barely-there brush of his lips against his forehead but it tears a whine out of Virgil’s throat before he can stop it. The imaginary Roman hushes him gently, pressing another kiss to the part of his cheek not buried in the pillow and it taunts him with how real it feels. The slightly chapped lips, the warm rush of air as Roman breathes, the light brush of his nose as he pulls away.

 It’s too much.

 It’s too much and he wants it to be real so badly but he knows the instant he pulls away it will vanish and that might just break him.

 Then he realizes the imaginary Roman is talking to him.

 “Breathe, Stormcloud, you’ve got to breathe,” he coaxes, “I know it’s tempting to stay buried in a pillow all day, but you can’t breathe properly like that, sweetheart.”

  No, no, don’t call me sweetheart, I’ll break.

 “Shadow-ling, Stormcloud, my darling,” the imaginary Roman says instead, “come on…”

 Well, now he’s disappointing imaginary Roman too. Figures. He can’t do anything right.

 “Of course you can,” the imaginary Roman pleads, “just breathe for me, shadow-ling, I’m right here, I’ve got you, you can keep your eyes closed if you need to, just breathe.”

 Another whine. Another kiss pressed against his head. The whine grows louder.

 “Shh, shh, my darling,” imaginary Roman murmurs, “breathe, come on, just—trust me, okay? Can I ask that of you, Stormcloud?”

 And goddamnit, this is why Virgil can’t do anything.

 Virgil trusts him.

 So he prepares himself for heartbreak and lifts his head.

 “Thank you, shadow-ling,” imaginary Roman—wait, he’s still here?—murmurs, rubbing his back, “there you go, now just breathe—oh! Oh, come here, lean on me, I’ve got you.”

 Having listed to the side horribly, Virgil lands against a solidwarmsafereal chest and—and—

 “R-Roman?”

 “Yes, my darling,” not imaginary Roman says, still kissing Virgil’s forehead, “I’m here, I’m here.”

 White-hot rage burns Virgil’s tears.

 He lets out a yell and shoves, not caring that it throws them both horribly off-balance, threatening to send him tumbling to the floor. He hears Roman cry out, trying to keep ahold of him, but he scrabbles and gets his hands around the bedpost and pulls.

 “Virgil—Virgil stop, you’re going to hurt yourself—“

 “Why do you care?” The rage coats his tongue. “You fucking left, you—you—you fucking didn’t care about me anymore, you decided you didn’t want me anymore and you fucking left so don’t try and care now!”

 “Virgil—sweetheart, I—“

 “Don’t fucking call me that!” He keeps his eyes squeezed tight. “You didn’t give a fuck about me when you left, when you got your fucking family back, you think—you think you can just waltz back in like you didn’t abandon me?”

 “Virgil—“

 “Because you did, Roman!” Virgil blindly shoves at where the prince was before, knocking him into the wall. “You fucking left me as soon as you got the others back like I—like I never did anything for you and now you—now you can’t even look at me.”

 “I’m looking at you now.”

 Virgil laughs.

 He throws his head back and howls until his chest and throat ache.

 “You didn’t give a shit when the others started talking to you. You just fucking up and abandoned me like you never cared about me in the first place. You replaced me with them or—or abandoned me as your placeholder and I’m fucking hurt, Roman.”

 “I know.”

 “Then why did you do it?”

 Silence.

 Virgil’s heart stops.

 No.

 No, no, no, no—

 He fucked up.

 He fucked up so bad.

 Roman left.

 Roman’s not here anymore.

 Roman left again, he made Roman leave, he—he fucked up so bad, he shouldn’t have yelled, he’s fucked up, he hurt Roman, no, no, no, no—

 On instinct, his hands hook into claws.

 Only to be caught by warmsolidreal hands and brought to something soft.

 “Don’t,” comes Roman’s softsaferealhurt voice, murmuring in his ear as he holds him still, “don’t scratch, sweetheart.”

 “Don’t—“

 “I know, I know,” Roman says immediately, “you said not to call you that. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry.”

 …what?

 “I didn’t realize I was hurting you,” comes the voice again, “that’s no excuse, I know, but please, Virgil, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to abandon you.”

 Virgil swallows. “What the fuck do you call it then?”

 “I didn’t want to push my luck.”

  What?

 “You were being so good to me, Virgil,” Roman murmurs, oblivious to the internal struggle Virgil’s currently facing, “so kind, so supportive, that I…I realized I wanted to ask more from you. Things I had no business asking. And the longer you kept on being you, the harder it was to resist the urge to push and risk shattering everything you’d let me build with you.”

 “What—“ Virgil swallows— “what the fuck did you want?”

 Roman stills in front of him. With his eyes still shut, he can’t tell what’s going on, but when Roman speaks next his voice is hoarse.

 “Before I ask,” comes the whisper, “I want you to know that you have every right to say no. You can push me away, shove me out of your room, stay angry at me for as long as you want. I’ve hurt you, badly, and I have no right to ask this of you. I want you to know that. That I’m okay with you asserting that right.”

 Fuck, Princey.

 “…what do you want?”

 A pause. Then a soft rush of air, right on his face.

 “May I kiss you, Stormcloud?”

 Oh.

  Oh.

  Oh, no.

 “R-Roman?”

 “That’s it,” Roman murmurs and oh, his mouth is right next to Virgil’s, “that’s what I want, shadow-ling.”

 He shifts a little until Virgil can feel Roman’s warmth.

 “That and everything that goes with it.”

 “Why—why did you leave? I-if that’s what you wanted?”

 “Because that would mean to push,” Roman says immediately, “and the last thing I wanted was to push you away. I thought if I could…rein it in, control it, I could…I wouldn’t hurt you.”

 A soft chuckle.

 “Look how well that turned out.”

 “But the others—“

 “I needed Remus to tell me what was going on,” Roman says wryly, “Janus to point out that I was okay in wanting something, Patton to help me figure it out, and Logan to kick my ass into doing it.”

 “To…to ask me?”

 “Yes, Stormcloud,” comes the whisper, “to ask you.”

 “And if I say yes?”

 He can feel Roman’s lips turn up.

 “…then I’ll kiss you, Stormcloud.”

 “Are you really here?”

 The question bursts out of him before he can stop it, immediately biting his lip in reprimand for letting it.

 “Open your eyes, Virgil,” Roman says softly, “look at me.”

 He shakes his head, not wanting it to be imaginary. Not now, not after this. Roman squeezes his hands.

 “Look at me, Stormcloud,” he whispers, “look at me.”

  Fuck it.

 Roman smiles at him, real and warm and soft and here. He squeezes Virgil’s hands again and takes the smallest step closer.

 “I’m here,” he says, wrapping Virgil’s arms around his neck, “I’m right here, shadow-ling.”

 He’s here.

 This won’t fix everything. But it’s one hell of a start.

 “Ask me again.”

 “May I kiss you, Stormcloud?”

 Virgil shakes his head. “Not like that. Ask me properly.”

 Confusion dances on Roman’s face before realization hits. His smile widens and he brings a hand to Virgil’s head. Virgil clutches Roman tight as he gets dipped into the prince’s arms. Roman leans forward until his mouth almost catches Virgil’s.

 “May I kiss you, sweetheart?”

  “Yes.”

 General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness  @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes  @iminyourfandom  @bullet-tothefeels  @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83  @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember  @fandomssaremysoul  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch  @enby-ralsei  @unicornssunflowersandstuff  @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams  @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne  @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer  @i-am-overly-complicated  @annytheseal  @alias290  @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions

 If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know! 

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding XVII

Part I - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Part XIV - - - - Part XV - - - - Part XVI

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Anakin scarcely had time to relax into the confirmation that Obi-Wan still loved him when his Master drew back.

“Anakin- you have no idea how much I simply want to stay like this, but we don’t have much time before I have to talk to the council, and there’s some matters I really feel we must discuss privately before that happens.”

“Ok.” Anakin wiped his face with the sleeve of his robe and sat at the foot of his Master’s bed, vibrating with intensity. 

“First of all.” Obi-Wan took a deep breath. “I know this sounds insane, but I need you to believe me- I’m from four years in the future. Or I had an incredibly detailed, four year long vision. Either way- I know things. I know where the war is leading us.”

“Alright.” Anakin nodded in relief. Looks like Bant was right. Thank fuck- I hated her theory the least. “So when you-” He vaguely mimed a stabbing motion “-You were trying to ‘wake up’ - from a memory? 

“Yes! Exactly!” Obi-Wan replied, relieved at the ease of the explanation. 

Anakin smiled reassuringly, then lunged to grab a pillow to whack his Master over the head. “You- fucking- kara- blast- idiot.” Anakin grit out, thwacking his master repeatedly with gentle rage. “Do. You. Have. Any. Idea. How! Fucked! Up! That! WAS! FOR!-”

Obi-Wan snatched the pillow, “Yes! Yes! I didn’t intend to hurt you, but I did, and I’m sorry, and you are perfectly entitled to your anger, alright!”

“I- oh.” Anakin paused, sitting back on his heels, not really sure how to go respond.

“Anakin- I know the identity of the Sith Master. I know who’s behind everything.” Obi-Wan stared intently into Anakin’s eyes. 

“Obi-Wan- that’s great!” Anakin said excitedly. If Obi-Wan knew who was responsible for all their suffering then, “That could end the war, right?”

Obi-Wan continued to gaze searchingly at his dearest friend and brother’s face, gently opening himself up to their bond, trying to find any hint of duplicity.

Anakin faltered under the scrutiny. “Right?”

Obi-Wan took another deep breath. He didn’t know. This was Anakin, before Palpatine- did something to him. It wasn’t too late.

“Anakin...it’s...someone we trust. Someone you trust. He- Darth Sidious- he’s been running both sides of the war.”

Anakin paled, eyes darting to the door, voice dropping to a low, urgent whisper, “He’s on the Council? Fuck that’s bad. Obi-Wan, what do you need me to do? I don’t have my lightsaber right now, but-” 

“No!” Obi-Wan replied quickly. “No! I mean, yes, it’s bad. But he’s not on the council. It’s- Anakin. I’m so, so sorry. But I saw a security hologram of him giving the final order to- to wipe out the Jedi and the Separatist leadership.” Anakin watched in alarm as Obi-Wan shuddered viscerally.

“I saw his speeches declaring victory over us, over everything. He personally killed half the council when we finally, finally found him out, far too late. Yoda barely survived- we were- the two of us were all that was left. I spent the last few years listening to his decrees as ‘Emperor’ - declaring the scarce remaining Jedi traitors to be hunted down. Making non-humans second class citizens. Enslaving worlds.”

Obi-Wan grabbed the front of Anakin’s tunic. “Please Anakin. He- he’s evil. He doesn’t want peace, or freedom, or justice, or security. He’s just been manipulating us all for his own ends. All of us. This whole time.” 

“It’s going to be ok, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said earnestly, grasping his Master’s hands. “I believe you. If the force gave you this clear a warning- or this incredible a second chance, then obviously we have to listen! I won’t let it happen how you saw, I swear. I’ll do whatever it takes to stop him.”

Obi-Wan felt like he was teetering over the edge of a precipice. He sucked in another breath- why was it so hard to breathe- 

“Anakin- It’s Palpatine. Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord.”

Anakin froze. “That’s- not funny.”

Obi-Wan barked out a single hysterical laugh. “No, no it is not. But it’s true. I told you- I saw it and- it makes a twisted sense, even only looking at the informational available at this point in time! How the Separatists  always stayed one step ahead despite our advantages. How the clones and the GAR came to exist in the first place. The constant increase in war time powers- Dooku karking told us the Senate was under the control of a Sith-” 

“We’re listening to Dooku now?” Anakin asked, getting angry for lack of a better response.

“Anakin...” 

“I mean of course that’s what the Sith would want you to believe! He’s the chancellor! Turning the Jedi against the leader of the republic is such a Sith move.”

“Anakin...”

“And- and- MIND CONTROL! What if it was it was mind control! You even said you thought that you thought Cody was mind-controlled, right?”

Obi-Wan drew back, alarmed and suspicious, “How do you know that?” he rasped hoarsely.

Anakin rolled his eyes. “You told Cody, remember? That first night? In the hovercar?”

“Ah. Right. Sorry. That first night is still a little fuzzy.” Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose. “I still can’t believe I time-traveled while high on one end and drunk on the other. It’s so- undignified.” 

Anakin snorted. “You must have taken a lot of spice, huh?” he joked.

Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably.

“I- oh for Krong’s sake,” Anakin groaned, slapping himself in the forehead. “Obi-Wan- were you actually trying to kill yourself?”

“No!” Obi-Wan replied quickly to the loaded question. “I was just looking for a- temporary escape. I did mention that a Sith Empire ruled the galaxy and Yoda and I were all that was left of the Jedi order, right? He didn’t seem totally sane the last time I saw him, either! Not to mention, I spent most of the last three years alone in a desert.”

“Oh.” Anakin grew somber. “Master, that-”

“And that still doesn’t explain how you knew what I said to Cody.”

“Well, the day after I came back to our quarters to find you in the process of stabbing yourself in the heart you woke up, declared Master Che both dead and a Sith trick, then sunk into a self-induced coma.” Anakin snapped. “The healers, I think understandably, set aside privacy and called everyone in to try and figure out what the fuck was going on”

Obi-Wan cringed. “That...makes sense. Sorry again.” He cleared his throat. “Look, we’ve got seconds left before council interrupts- I just- didn’t want you to be blindsided by the Palpatine reveal.”

“But you admit there was mind control involved,” Anakin insisted. “Cody wouldn’t have turned on you without it, and neither would the Chancellor.”

“Anakin- I know we never liked to talk about it, but the Vod had a lot more opportunity to be compromised en mass. They were designed for a purpose we never fully understood and their entire childhood consisted of indoctrination; we already knew Dooku was involved with their ‘commissioning- we just ignored it.’”

Anakin bit the inside of his mouth, tasting blood as he restrained himself from screaming. He didn’t want to think about Kamino and he had to make Obi-Wan see past the nightmare he witnessed, before he convinced the council of an innocent man’s guilt.

“There wasn’t anyone else who might have been mind-controlled, who turned on you, or the Jedi? You said everyone died- there had to be someone besides some of the clones and one old man doing the killing,” he said desperately.

Obi-Wan’s sputtered, “That’s- that’s different- it was so obviously Palpatine’s influence.”

“But there was someone else you think might have been acting against his will.” Anakin pressed, sensing a weak point.

Obi-Wan looked gutted. “I don’t know- I want to believe you would never do such terrible things but you did and it all happened so fast...”

“So you admit-” Anakin stopped as his brain caught up with his mouth. “Wait- me?”

Obi-Wan’s face twisted in anguish but he didn’t break eye contact as he nodded.

Anakin swallowed hard. “Obi-Wan... what did I-” he cut himself off as the door opened.

Master Windu entered and squinted suspiciously at the two of them. 

"Mace!” Anakin said nervously. “We were just- crying. You know. Being attached and, and all that.”

Obi-Wan's jaw dropped open as he stared bug-eyed at his Padawan. “Mace?” he repeated, dumbfounded.

Mace Windu inhaled slowly through his nose. “Your friends had plenty of time to bond while we were trying to make sense of your more... disastrous traits.” He waved vaguely.

“You just gestured at all me,” Obi-Wan replied, offended. 

“Well, you’ll have the opportunity to help clear up our misconceptions. Master Aerdo is preparing a meeting room in the Halls so you can explain everything, just like you wanted.”

“Oh, fuck.” Anakin whispered softly. 

“It’s a different room, Anakin, I made sure of it.” Mace reassured him.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan parroted in delight.

“Well, I’m glad you know everyone’s names, at least.” Windu muttered. “Master Che will be by to check you over one more time, she should have some proper robes for you. Should we contact Commander Cody? He’s at a pre-departure briefing with Master Tiin not too far away.” 

“No.” Obi-Wan responded sadly. “We can’t alert anyone outside the halls about even the existence of this meeting. Maintaining secrecy right now is too important. We’re going to need to take a significant amount of extremely careful action on a lot of fronts if we want to unravel the Sith’s plots- and I hate to say it but stopping the actual war is unfortunately going to need to wait for last. We’ll still end things sooner than they would otherwise, but if we meddle too much right now... Whatever story you were using to explain my- absence the past few days, please simply double down on that.” 

The Master of the Jedi Order nodded slowly, holding off on questions with well-practiced restraint.

“Alright Windu, Skywalker, get out.” Che ordered, brusquely pushing her way in with a hovercart. 

“Yes, Master Che.” Anakin acknowledged, jumping up. He gave Obi-Wan a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before he departed. “We’re going to get through this.” he said valiantly, trying to project confidence.

Obi-Wan smiled weakly, “I’ll see you two soon.”

“That’s up to me, actually.” Master Che said cheerfully, snapping her gloves.

Part XVIII

[tippedbykreider]

i can’t pretend | m. zibanejad

Word Count: 1,750 words Warnings: Vague hint of jealousy, mentions of alcohol Summary: There comes a time where feelings must be confronted and you can’t pretend like you’re anything other than how you feel in your heart. Mika Zibanejad x Reader Author’s Note: Fic title is from Don’t Let Go by En Vogue but I was very much inspired by the Lusaint cover <3

*

Life is full of disappointments, despite all of our best intentions and no matter what we do to try and shield ourselves from them, sooner or later they will come knocking. You’d experienced disappointment before, of course you had, but none of them compared to the violent wrenching you felt in your stomach at the sight before you right now.

The loud music all around you faded into nothing and all you could focus on was the loud whoosh of your heart thundering in your ears, like a train passing at speed. Your eyes had suddenly found the vodka and coke you were holding very interesting and whatever conversation you’d been having with Chris and Pavel was quickly forgotten and while Pavel was still trying to work out exactly why your words had died on your tongue, Chris was surveying you with a worried expression and his hand was heavy on your knee.

Chris’s eyes had seen the same thing you had and he was perceptive enough to notice the way your face had fallen when Mika had walked into the bar with someone else, saw the way your shoulders sagged with the exhale of your breath and saw the sparkle that’d been in your eyes dull and diminish into nothing. He leaned in as he flexed his fingers on your leg reassuringly, voice low but still audible above the thumping bass.

“I had no idea he was bringing anybody, I swear.”

You shrugged nonchalantly at that, despite the ache in your chest and despite the tears that had suddenly begun to burn behind your lashes. “Mika can come out with whoever he wants.”

“Not when he was the one who invited you,” Chris countered, tone a little firmer this time but you knew him well enough by now to know that his annoyance wasn’t directed towards you. “What the hell is he playing at? Making such a big deal about you coming out with us tonight and then turning up with her.”

“It’s not a big deal, Chris. Can we just… can we just drop it? Please?”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you slightly, knowing you well enough to know that even you didn’t really believe the words that came out of your mouth but he was cognizant enough to know not to push and so he lifted his hands up in front of him, a wordless acceptance of what you were asking, before reluctantly going back to his Guinness.

You, on the other hand and despite yourself, couldn’t tear your eyes away from how the girl Mika had brought was draping herself all over him and how Mika seemed to like it. You weren’t entirely sure just how long you’d been staring and you were certain that the others would have started to notice how your eyes hadn’t moved at all since Mika had walked through that door; but even though it felt like someone was twisting a knife further into your gut with every second that passed, you couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere else.

It shouldn’t have surprised you really, that Mika wasn’t interested, that he didn’t see you in that way because when you looked at the woman with her arms draped around his neck and with her legs that seemed to go on for days, you realised that you were nothing alike and if that was his type then it was no wonder that he didn’t see you as anything more than his friend. You’d known Mika for the best part of four years now and while you were sure that there was more to the way he’d touch you and there was more to the softness in his eyes whenever he looked at you, you realised then that those touches and looks weren’t anything special, even if they felt that way to you.

It was the sight of his lips ghosting the shell of her ear that had you setting your glass down onto the table forcefully and reaching for your coat. He hadn’t even made it to the table yet but you knew that there was no way you were making it through the night without losing it and there was no sense in making things awkward for everybody else too. Better to leave now and lick your wounds in the privacy and solace of your apartment than be the subject of the quiet sympathetic looks you were sure would be sent your way.

“Wait, are you going?” Chris asked, the concern evident in his voice. “You just got here.”

“Headache,” you replied, your voice rough in your attempt to keep a lid on the emotions bubbling up from your chest to your throat.

“I’ll walk you home-”

“I’d really rather you didn’t,” you snapped, immediately regretting the hostility with which you replied upon seeing a momentary hurt flash across Chris’s face. “I mean, I’m okay, thanks. I-I can get home myself. Thanks for the offer though.”

You knew that Chris didn’t like that idea and you knew that he was just doing what a good friend should, but if you let him walk you home that would only give him an opportunity to talk about you and Mika and your feelings and you certainly didn’t want that, especially not now. Chris seemed to get the message because he simply nodded, albeit reluctantly. You picked up your purse and slipped out of the bar into the cool New York night without another word spoken to anyone.

Being as oblivious and wrapped up as he was, Mika hadn’t noticed you leave and so the confusion in his expression was evident when he approached the table and his eyes didn’t immediately find yours like they usually would. He went to speak but Chris cut him off curtly, eyes burning and jaw set.

“She went home.”

“Why?”

Chris gave Mika a pointed look and glanced quickly at the woman hanging from his arm before his stony stare found Mika’s eyes once more. “Headache,” he replied with a sharpness that Mika didn’t miss but took a couple of beats to catch up to everything that Chris wasn’t exactly saying.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Chris replied from behind his glass. “Maybe you should go check up on her? Make sure she’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Mika said quietly. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Within five minutes Mika had given his apologies to Sarah, or Jess, or whatever her name was and was sprinting through the streets of Manhattan towards your apartment. It’s funny how things only become clear when they suddenly start to slip through your fingers and Mika knew that this was one of those moments. He cursed himself for not seeing it sooner, for not seeing that you were right there in front of him, waiting on him to catch up and finally acknowledge just what sat between the two of you. It was the way his skin sparked whenever he touched you, it was the way his heart fluttered whenever you smiled or laughed, it was the way you understood just how crazy his life was and it was the way you understood the pressures he felt and the weight and expectation he carried on his shoulders. It was all of those things and more and Mika knew that if he really allowed himself to think about it, those were things that had been there since day one. He could only hope that he hadn’t thrown it all away in his complete ignorance.

He’d climbed the stairs to your apartment a hundred times before but the three flights had never felt as towering as they did right now. Perhaps it was the fact that he’d run the ten or so blocks to your place or perhaps it was the overwhelming fear that he’d thrown away the best thing he could’ve had, but either way Mika was sure that his heart was about to burst right out of his chest as he knocked urgently at your door.

His stomach dropped through the floor at the sight of your tear streaked face as you opened the door to him and he was ready to list every single reason why he was an idiot and tell you just how sorry he was but he was cut off and knocked back by the rawness in your voice.

“What’re you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you,” Mika rushed out, hoping beyond hope that you’d hear him out and not slam the door in his face.

“There’s nothing to say, Mika,” you replied in the best strong voice you could muster, not wanting to fall apart in front of him.

“Please-”

“I’m sure your girlfriend is missing you.” Your expression is stony as you look at him and your arms are folded tightly across your chest and nothing at all like the frantic look in Mika’s eye and the way he’s tearing his hands through his hair.

“She’s not my-”

“You know what, Mika?” you interrupt, deciding that you’re not in the mood to listen to whatever excuse was going to come out of his mouth. “You don’t owe me anything. You can go out with whoever the hell you want, but don’t bring me into it. Maybe it was my own fault for thinking that there might have been something more between us and that you wanted to be more than friends and I’m sorry about that but I can’t pretend, Mika. I can’t pretend that I don’t feel what I feel, okay? I’m miserable when you’re not around. I think about you more than I should. Fuck, I thought we were on the same page, I thought that maybe there was something different in the way that you looked at me and the way that you talked to me but I guess I was wr-”

The words coming out of your mouth died in the air as Mika’s hands cupped your face and his lips crashed into your own.

“Stop talking,” he breathed between kisses as his body pressed against yours and guided you back into your apartment, his foot kicking the door shut behind him as you went. “Just stop talking for one second.”

You knew that you needed to pull away, knew that you needed to stop this and for you both to use your words to work through this, but your heart betrayed your brain and your hands found themselves winding their way into his hair while you kissed him back with everything you had. 

[delos-mio]

First Thing To Go - DAY 1

DAY 1

Around dinner time and with a complimentary drink in hand, you took the elevator to the top floor. The Oceanfront Suite at the Four Seasons Maui awaited you and Kendra- two full weeks of what was supposed to be romance and relaxation. Now it seemed you wouldn’t be experiencing either. You made it to the grand white double doors of the suite and let yourselves in. 

The suite was enormous with a living and dining room, doors off to the side that led to a master bedroom with a canopied California king bed. The en suite had a jacuzzi with crisp, white his and her robes hanging beside it. Your mouth downturned and you quickly spun on your heel, eager to look at anything else. 

“Holy shit,” Kendra said with a whistle. “You guys were really gonna ball out.”

“Were,” you muttered and tossed your bag aside. 

“Sorry.” Her eyes were down before she turned to investigate the suite further. You shouldn’t have been so defensive, especially toward the one person who dropped everything to be there for you. But you couldn’t help the turning of the knife in your chest every time you were reminded of why you were originally supposed to be here. 

The room was ridiculous. There was a chilled bottle of Dom Perignon waiting for you with a card from the hotel. You flipped it open and read the obnoxious calligraphy inside:

Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Langford! From, your friends at the Four Seasons

Great. You really should have seen it coming by now. The hotel was under the impression this was your honeymoon, after all. 

“This balcony is sick!” You looked up and saw Kendra leaning on the glass wall, face turned up to the sun. You tossed the stupid card in the trash can on your way to join her. She was right- the view was absolutely breathtaking. There was pristine sand and cerulean ocean as far as the eye could see, the smell of salt and tropical flowers heavy in the air. You took a deep breath and stood next to Kendra. 

“I’m sorry for being shitty to you,” you said softly. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I get it.” She nudged you with her shoulder. “But I hope you do realize I’m not going to let you mope while we’re somewhere this fucking beautiful.”

You laughed and nodded in silent acquiescence. 

“Can I make a suggestion for our first order of business?” you asked with a playful turn of your lips. Kendra looked over with a raised eyebrow, urging you to go on. “I brought my medical card. Find a dispensary and order room service?”

“Ugh, so brilliant. Such a smart and thoughtful woman,” Kendra said, flashing you a devilish grin. 

—-

It hadn’t taken much work to find a provisioning center near the hotel. You and Kendra made quick work of the trip and returned to the suite, ordering enough food to clean out the kitchen. The sun was long since down and you were laid out in the sun loungers on the balcony, pleasantly high with a belly full of food, just looking up at the sky with Kendra. 

“It’s nice to see them for once,” you said. 

“Hmm?”

“The stars. Don’t really get to see much of them back home. Only if you go out over the lake.”

“Yeah, it’s really relaxing,” she agreed before letting out a long yawn. “I’m sleepy. I’m gonna go lay down- you staying out here?”

“Just for a little bit longer.” Kendra looked at you as she stood up, biting her lip with uncertainty. “I’m not going to jump if that’s what you’re worried about.”

She laughed as she leaned down and kissed your forehead. “Just making sure. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night.” And with that, Kendra shut the balcony doors behind her, leaving you alone with the ocean breeze and half a blunt. 

The world was quiet out here- nothing like the constant roar of the city. Lake View was a wonderful neighborhood and one you loved dearly. But there was something about only being able to listen to the breeze rustling palm leaves that put you at ease. You didn’t really consider yourself a beach kind of gal, but perhaps you could see yourself becoming one. After the last 72 or so hours, a little quiet felt pretty good. Serene, even. Maybe Kendra really was onto something when she begged you to come out here. 

You lit the end and took another deep hit before closing your eyes and exhaling. 

“Ah, one of my favorite smells.” Your eyes snapped open and you gasped, totally unaware that anyone else was anywhere near you. You clumsily tried to snuff out the blunt, knocking over the ashtray onto the marble floor with a loud crack. “Oh shit,” you coughed and looked around trying to find the voice that had just spoken. 

“No need to stop on my accord.” The voice was deep and smooth, sultry even. There was a good chance you just made a total fool out of yourself while fumbling around in your inebriated state. You were still anxiously looking about when he added “On your left, darling.”

You spun and finally saw a feline smile on the face of a tall, undeniably gorgeous man standing on the balcony next to yours. He was tall and lean, all dark hair, beard, and eyes. Truthfully, he was textbook ‘your type’. But the minute that thought ran through your brain, you were already mentally berating yourself for even finding another person attractive just a day into what was supposed to be your honeymoon. He took a swig from a rocks glass and cocked an eyebrow. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think about the smell traveling,” you said sheepishly. 

“Like I said, one of my favorite smells.” Like a good neighbor, you walked to the railing closest to him and offered out the blunt to him. “Sorry,” he said, raising a hand. Fuck, even his fingers were beautiful. “I’m down to only liquid vices these days, I’m afraid,” shaking around the ice in his glass for emphasis. 

“Ok…” You weren’t entirely sure what that meant, but didn’t think it was appropriate to press a stranger for details. 

“I’m Logan, nice to meet you,” he said and stuck out his hand far enough that you could just barely brush the tips of your fingers against his as you introduced yourself. It was a completely awkward gesture, which seemed to greatly amuse Logan. 

“Likewise.” You put your feet back on solid ground and looked at Logan again. 

“So, are you here in a suite by yourself or is there a mister or missus with you?”

“Real smooth,” you laughed. 

“It’s just a question,” he said, tone laced with faux innocence. 

You stopped short and considered dumping everything that happened on him right then. “I’m here with my best friend, actually,” you said tersely. 

Logan narrowed his gaze as he looked you over. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“I literally don’t know you, so yeah,” you laughed, trying hard to keep it casual. 

“Maybe that’s true,” he shrugged, “But it’s written all over your face. It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me.” He took another drink. “I’ll tell you why I’m here.”

“Ok, lay it on me,” you said, almost baiting Logan, and leaned on the railing with your chin resting in your palm. 

“I checked out of a rehab in Malibu last night. My shrink told me it’d be better for me if I slowly worked my way back into the real world and suggested I take a little to myself before getting back to work and my family. Life in general, I guess,” he shrugged. 

You didn’t know the man, that was certain, but you didn’t expect him to say that. Or to be so honest. You were really starting to feel bad for getting high right next door to him. “Wow, I...I’m so sorry for smoking next to you.”

Logan just laughed and waved you off. “You have nothing to apologize for, darling. Besides, you literally didn’t know me, right?”

You rolled your eyes at him quoting your own words  back at you. “Very funny.” You looked down for a minute before taking a long breath and exhaling. “And how’s the ‘time for yourself’ thing going? Is it scary,” you asked. 

“So far, so good,” Logan said, clearly considering how it was actually going. “I’ve been clean for 94 days now, so my cravings aren’t as strong. I mean, I still want to use, don’t get me wrong. But it’s nowhere near as intense. And what’s not to like about being in paradise?” He was grinning, despite the weight of what he just told you. It was admirable, you thought. 

“This was supposed to be my honeymoon,” you said abruptly. Why you decided to tell this stranger, you didn’t really know. But it felt like it would be ok to share it with Logan. Besides, you’d probably never see the dude again- who cares if he knew?

“Pardon me?”

“This,” you gestured broadly at your balcony and room, “I’m supposed to be enjoying my honeymoon right now. But as I already told you, I’m here with my best friend. Like, my actual best friend. Not the ‘oh I’m so glad I’m marrying my best friend’ best friend. And not a husband. Don’t have one of those.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that,” he said with a small frown. 

“He packed up all his things, told me there was someone else, and left me two days before our wedding.” You let out a sad chuckle, using all your might to fight back the tears you knew wanted to form in your eyes. “So, yeah. Guess we’re both kind of bummers, huh?”

“For what it’s worth,” Logan started, leaning in closer over his ledge, “I think the guy’s a fucking douche bag for leaving you. I know we don’t know each other very well, but you seem delightful. Not to mention you’re fucking gorgeous.” 

“You’re seriously going to hit on me when I just told you I was supposed to get married yesterday?” you scoffed. 

“What am I supposed to say?” he asked, raising a perfect eyebrow and checking you out from head to toe. “If I see a beautiful woman, I think it’s my duty to share that with her.” 

“You’re shameless,” you smiled and shook your head. It should have disgusted you. It should have turned you off and made you think Logan was a pig. But you couldn’t help but be just the smallest bit charmed. He was a flirt, and there was a little piece of you that was genuinely flattered. 

“I’ve been called worse,” he laughed. 

“Well, thanks, I guess,” you said before looking back out over the ocean, hoping to hide the heat that was rising in your cheeks. 

“My pleasure,” Logan said with a smile. “So, the asshole left you high and dry and you went on your honeymoon with your best friend anyways?”

“To be fair, it was her idea.” You tugged at the ends of your hair, suddenly nervous that Logan would judge you. 

“I like her style.” He finished off his drink. “I can’t imagine there’s anyone else who deserves to be stoned in Hawaii more than you,” Logan grinned. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” you groaned. “So fucking embarrassing.”

“Nah. It’s cute. You’re cute.” His voice was low and gravely, but playful. You felt a stirring in your stomach and knew you had to cut the conversation short while you were still ahead. 

“It’s late, I should probably go to bed before Kendra thinks I’ve done something stupid.” You meant for it to be a joke, but you realized you really didn’t want to worry her more than you knew she already did. 

“Wouldn’t want that,” he nodded. 

“It was nice talking to you. Thanks for letting me dump all my baggage on you,” you said, a tiny smile forming on your lips. 

“Any time, darling.” 

“Maybe I’ll see you around?” As you said it, you realized you really hoped you would. 

“I sure hope so,” he said with a smirk.

“Goodnight, Logan.” You bit gently on your bottom lip and finally pushed away from the railing. 

“Sweet dreams.” 

You let yourself back inside and quickly got ready for bed. Talking to someone removed from the whole ordeal felt nice- someone who didn’t ask a million questions so you could just process what happened in its simplest terms. And Logan had proven to be thoughtful and a good listener. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Logan was ungodly hot. No, you scolded yourself. No thinking about Logan or anyone else like that for a long, long time. Once you’d crawled under the covers, you couldn’t stop the weight of sleep tugging at your eyelids, bringing with it dreams of a dark eyed prince. 

TAGGED: @fific7 @abroadcastofthemind @suchatinyinfinity

[fixitfest]

Anon Master List

TITLE: A Gift RATING: T WORD COUNT: 912 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Sirius Black Lives, Fix-It, References to Footloose (1984), Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Harry is only mentioned, he doesn't appear, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Canon Compliant, technically, Hopeful Ending SUMMARY: This was meant to be something very different but what it turned into was soft affection and movie night at 12 Grimmauld Place and learning each other again. READ IT ON AO3: A Gift

TITLE: the beauty of a secret (you have to keep it) RATING: G WORD COUNT: 14600 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Remus's supportive parents, Christmas Fluff, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, this is really soft and so self-indulgent, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, POV Remus Lupin SUMMARY: When Remus asked Sirius to be his fake-date for them to visit his parents for the Christmas holidays, he hadn't expected it to go that well, not really. No one, least of all Remus could have predicted how rapidly it deteriorated, especially with his long hidden feelings that were too close to the surface. READ IT ON AO3: the beauty of a secret (you have to keep it)

TITLE: Be My Baby RATING: M WORD COUNT: 21876 ADDITIONAL TAGS: wolfstar, RS Fix It Fest 2020, Dirty Dancing AU, 1960s America, Coming of Age, Coming Out, Black!James, Cuban!Sirius, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Fluff, Romance, Dancing, Summer Love, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, but both are pretty mild!, Meet-Cute, Getting Together, First Time, dance SUMMARY: It’s the summer of 1963, and 18 year old Remus Lupin discovers dance, love, and even himself. (A very romantic and very gay Dirty Dancing AU.) READ IT ON AO3: Be My Baby

TITLE: Good Year RATING: T WORD COUNT: 1024 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Sirius Black Lives, Remus Lupin Lives, Professor Sirius Black, Professor Remus Lupin, Post-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, middle-aged wolfstar, they’re alive and happy and they kiss and laugh a lot SUMMARY: Sirius and Remus one happy morning before the start of their first year of teaching at Hogwarts together. Set the year after the end of the Second Wizarding War. READ IT ON AO3: Good Year

TITLE: Hic sunt dracones RATING: E WORD COUNT: 4941 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, First War with Voldemort, Canon Compliant, Happy Ending, Romance, Makeup, Mirror Sex, Intercrural Sex, Sharing a Bed, RS Fix It Fest 2020, POV Remus Lupin SUMMARY: Remus and Sirius try putting on makeup and end up trying a lot more: sex, kissing, and maybe even talking about feelings. READ IT ON AO3: Hic sunt dracones

TITLE: In the Shadow of Your Heart, It's the Only Way I Can Escape RATING: M WORD COUNT: 10032 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Magicians, sort of a The Prestige au, POV Alternating, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Sirius Black, POV Remus Lupin, Rivals to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Sort Of, Strangers to Lovers, magician Sirius, Magician Remus, escape artist Remus, Non-Sexual Bondage, Remus is sort of based on Houdini, Buried Alive, Everybody Lives, Nobody is Dead, I promise nobody dies SUMMARY: The lights glittered upon the stage, dust particles floating, the light catching on the shiny buttons of the man’s jacket. The boards creaked as he strutted across them, a faint sound only heard if you were listening for it. The heavy velvet curtains hung on either side of the stage framing whatever spectacle was to occur. Or where two sort-of rival magicians perform on stage, confront mortality, and realize that past passion can be present love. READ IT ON AO3: In the Shadow of Your Heart, It’s the Only Way I Can Escape

TITLE: Just Sleep RATING: T WORD COUNT: 1403 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Raising Harry Potter SUMMARY: Remus didn't want to open the door but he almost closes it when he find Sirius back a kidnapped harry under his coat. READ IT ON AO3: Just Sleep

TITLE: La Vie en Rose RATING: G WORD COUNT: 1732 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Canon Compliant, Post-full moon, Pining, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sirius Black Speaks French, Depressed Sirius Black, Song: La Vie En Rose, POV Sirius Black, Singing SUMMARY: "Remus was lying against him, fast asleep and very human. Sirius was struck with how much older he seemed, now that he was close enough for Sirius to study him. But he still looked as beautiful as ever." It is only Remus and Sirius left in Grimmauld Place after the children return to school. This alone time leaves Sirius facing feelings he buried a long time ago. READ IT ON AO3: La Vie en Rose

TITLE: night rides RATING: G ADDITIONAL TAGS: Art, Digital Art, Alternate Universe - High School, Motorcycles, Fluff SUMMARY: first time riding the motorcycle together READ IT ON AO3: night rides

TITLE: On how to become a DDA teacher RATING: G ADDITIONAL TAGS: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Everyone Is Alive, Living Together, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, trying new things, Happy Ending, RS Fix It Fest 2020, Fanart, Fix-It SUMMARY: Remus prepares himself for his new position as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Just some domestic bliss drawn for the RS Fix It Fest 2020. READ IT ON AO3: On how to become a DDA teacher

TITLE: On The Mat RATING: E WORD COUNT: 14265 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Meet-Cute, Getting Together, Yoga, Yoga Teacher Sirius Black, Yoga Student Remus Lupin, Dubious use of a yoga mat, Anal Sex, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Deep Throating, safe sex, we are pro condoms in this fic, Fluff and Smut, Top Sirius Black, Bottom Remus Lupin SUMMARY: The intimate happenings of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and a yoga mat. READ IT ON AO3: On The Mat

TITLE: The Pipe Under The Sink RATING: T WORD COUNT: 5253 ADDITIONAL TAGS: FixItFest2020, trying new things, wolfstar, unemployed!Sirius, bookshop!Remus, Baker!James, Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, muggle problems, Domestic Fluff, Baby Harry Potter, Self-Esteem Issues, Love SUMMARY: After being together for so long, Sirius worries Remus doesn't find him sexy anymore. Sirius finds some inspiration from James and decides to show off his sexiness by fixing the kitchen sink...the muggle way. READ IT ON AO3: The Pipe Under The Sink

TITLE: Quality Lighting RATING: T WORD COUNT: 4959 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Magic, Alternate Universe - College/University, Erotic Photography, Get together fic, Happy Ending, POV Remus Lupin, POV Sirius Black SUMMARY: “Give it back!” Remus pitched forward in a desperate attempt to swipe his phone back from his roommate.

“Why?” Sirius asked with a laugh as he started to scroll. “Am I going to find your OnlyFans content or something?”

Remus choked out a laugh of his own. “Very funny. Now please—”

“Oh.” READ IT ON AO3: Quality Lighting

TITLE: We’re Not Like Them RATING: G WORD COUNT: 21574 ADDITIONAL TAGS: First War with Voldemort, Post-Hogwarts, Muggle London, London in the Eighties, Hyde Park, James Potter & Lily Evans Potter Live, Order of the Phoenix - Freeform, Angst, Marlene and Remus's friendship, Godric's Hollow, Character Study SUMMARY: Sirius leaves the flat for hours on end and doesn't tell Remus where he's been. Remus skulks silently in the shadows, forgotten by everyone he once called a friend, and secrets are being kept between the four of them. Remus doesn't even know if they will last the war, and Sirius decides that he wants a child. Remus thinks that they're twenty-one, fighting for their lives, and not like James and Lily. READ IT ON AO3: We’re Not Like Them

TITLE: The Words Beneath Your Door RATING: M WORD COUNT: 11723 ADDITIONAL TAGS: POV Remus Lupin, POV First Person, Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Getting Together, Roommates, Canon Divergence - Post-Hogwarts, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), First Kiss, Remus Lupin is a florid little shit, and Sirius reads Muggle encyclopedias for fun, gratuitous use of The Runaways, and cardamom biscuits, Fix-It, Domestic, and very very toshy, Implied/Referenced Drug Use SUMMARY:It is 1979, Remus is steadily losing control of his higher functions, and Sirius won't stop fucking touching him. Perhaps the two are related, but there isn't enough space left in the cold fusion core of Remus' brain to parse that out. READ IT ON AO3: The Words Beneath Your Door

TITLE: Young Hearts Intertwined RATING: T WORD COUNT: 11643 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First War with Voldemort, Fluff, Schmoop, Weddings, Established Relationship, Summer, Welsh Remus Lupin, Desi Potter Family (Harry Potter), Desi Sirius Black SUMMARY: There’s a special kind of magic to a wartime wedding. READ IT ON AO3: Young Hearts Intertwined

TITLE: You're My Lover, Not My Rival RATING: M WORD COUNT: 3734 ADDITIONAL TAGS: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Friendship/Love, Best Friends, Getting Together, Casual Sex, Happy Sex, Threesome - F/M/M, Prophecy, Drinking & Talking, Smoking, Fix-It, RS Fix It Fest 2020, True Love, Canon Divergence, Bisexuality SUMMARY: Remus can't do relationships, or so he thinks. READ IT ON AO3: You’re My Lover, Not My Rival

[footballxwrites]

Ridiculously in love with your writing so giving another one😂

So read reports that Christian pulisic maybe going back to the bundesliga to play for Bayern so maybe you could write one on that where he feels guilty for not having been able to probably make it work in Chelsea. He’s been with his fiance since they were like 12 and she’s a British citizen and an arsenal fan so she was definitely the happiest when they moved to london as because she runs her own company and their main office is in London. Christian feels like a crap fiancé also because now she’ll have to travel up and down every other week like she did when they were in Dortmund, and she’s done and sacrificed so much for him and he couldn’t even make it work so she can be in her hometown for once and also be with her family, plus they’re looking to start a family so this travelling business and not having grandparents around the corner isn’t ideal either. With all this plus not starting games plus family stuff weighing him down, he starts to be distant from her and she obviously notices. She gives him a bit of space at the beginning but then quickly realises that they should talk about it like they always have in their relationship. So she brings it up and he lets out everything and she’s like “ don’t be stupid, I want the best for your career and if that’s in freaking Finland well go there, you’ve had a tough year and not the ideal start to your time at Chelsea ans that’s okay. Everyone has set backs but we need to make a comeback so we’re gonna do what’s best for you and then go from there. Europe is small and London to Munich or wherever it is isn’t too bad at all, plus you know I genuinely like travelling for work. And when the kids come we’ll just figure out a schedule that puts them first and have you seen our parents, they’re gonna be coming and seeing us all the time. It’s fine, we’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna be just fine” and then Christian is just crying by then because how did he get so lucky blah blah blah... can’t wait for this one xxxxxx

Long Distance Love ♡

𝖧𝖺𝗁𝖺 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎! 𝖨 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖨 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 (𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝗌𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗅)...𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗌 𝖨 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝖻𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖼𝗄 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗌𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝖾 😅𝗑

January 10 2021

Suddenly, you felt him stir slightly, readjusting his arms that were snaked around your body, which made your head shoot up to gaze at him, seeing his eyes fluttering open and a lazy smile creep upon his lips as he leaned into a kiss. His arms were quick to pull your waist against his so your head was flat on his chest, listening to the peaceful sound of his heartbeat, instantly making you feel at home. You little moment was cut short when his phone went off and he rushed out the room with a groan, leaving you annoyed and your heart pounding, having a feeling you knew exactly what the phone call was about, hoping he come back and give you the answer you wanted to hear...

“It’s gone through...the transfer” he sorrily spoke, making your breath hitch in your throat, although knowing it was a high possibility of the move actually happening, a part of you was certain he’d be staying here in central London for at least another year. “Guess you’d better get packing then” you softly laughed, feeling disheartened to say the least, the words of “it’s happening” not being the ones you wanted to fall from his lips, “look can we talk about this properly-“ he began, reaching for your hand as you swiftly dodged his grip and made your way to the bathroom, ready for a complete meltdown about everything, “No I have to get ready for work...while I still have my own business” you trailed off, letting the door close behind you with a slam...

————————————————

January 2 2019

"The real question is, how did I get so lucky?" you giggled before he gently pushed the mug of coffee into your hands while leaning in to plant a small kiss on your forehead. Instantly, that warm feeling flew through your body just from the smallest, loving touch he gave you, it never getting old. “Good morning, beautiful." he mumbled against your lips, before wrapping his arms around your neck and resting his head on top of yours, “and a very good morning to you handsome” you smiled, feeling the most relaxed you’ve felt in a while, lifting your gaze to him, love dancing in your eyes as you leaned in to clasp your mouths together.

"Kissing you never gets old," you mutter softly as you both pull away, Christian flashing you a cheeky grin before spotting his luggage packed and ready for the off beside the front door of your new complex, a sigh falling from his lips, “can’t believe I arrived here a week ago and I’m already flying back to Germany” he frowned, pulling a pout. “It’s only six months and it’ll be over before you know it, I’m not going to lie I will miss living over there, especially the weather” you giggled, messing up his perfectly gelled hair to which you got no thanks for, “hands off, this took ages to do” he said, pretending to be serious and grabbing your hand as if to say ‘go on do it again I dare you’. “I’m gonna miss you, the apartment’s gonna seem empty without you here...and it means I have to build all the flat pack furniture from IKEA myself” you huffed, pointing at the hundreds of cardboard boxes filling the spacious room as he laughed, culling your face and running a finger along your cheek, “you’ll be fine, we’ll FaceTime every night and whenever we have a minute spare because you’re gonna be busy as hell now...my super business woman” he winked as you shook your head, still not quite believing you actually own a company, like a whole ass company belonged to you and it was mad to just even picture it.

“Ah shut up, you’re making me blushing Mr Pullisic, now go before you miss that flight of yours” you grinned, going in for one last peck while shoving him out the door with a struggle, feeling like his clingy self wasn’t ever gonna leave, “I love you, see you in half a year” he happily said, grabbing his many cases and walking out, letting the door gently fall closed...

——————————————————

July 1 2019

The classic iPhone ping went off as an incoming text message lit up your phone screen, instantly opening the pic attachment of him saying ‘en route’ which meant he was on his way and by god you couldn’t wait to just see him in person after all this time. He barely got through the front door before you took a leap, linking your legs around his torso as his hands secured under your thighs to carry your weight. Squeezing him tight, you rested your head in the crook of his neck, enjoying his presence as a laugh escaped his lips, “missed me just a bit?” he stupidly asked, not even bothering to let you answer before smashing his lips on yours for the first time what felt like in forever.

Gently tapping your legs, he slowly placed you feet on the ground and then cupped your face, pulling you in for another long, loving kiss, “so how’s everything been then, and by the way you’ve done a good job decorating this place” he nodded, eyes gazing at all the modern interior, “funny you asked, I managed to open two more branches this week, one in Gateshead up north and the other in Manchester!” you exclaimed letting out a small squeal, not able to control your excitement any longer as his eyes went wide with joy. “I didn’t think you could make me any prouder but I guess I was wrong eh” he gushed, heading over to sort out his cases, “I’m saying the same about you” you laughed as he pulled out a couple man of the match awards along with a jersey signed by all the teammates. “It felt strange to say goodbye to them after all these years...but it’s time for a fresh start, here in London with Chelsea Fc and with you” he whispered, excited for the new chapter in your lives to finally begin.

——————————————————

The next year could only be described as perfect for the both of you, his career taking off and loving every moment at the club, getting along with everyone in the dressing room and then loving the fans and atmosphere within the stadium, and knowing you were in the stands somewhere cheering on your ‘captain America’ made it all the more special. As for you, your company was doing beyond amazing, going from National to world wide, owning buildings in Dubai, Spain and you’ll never guess where, Germany. Your main branch was of course London, where the company was founded and to which was the office you managed and were based at, meaning you rarely visited the abroad ones but you weren’t complaining, with you being a London gal to be in your home city with your own bloody business was unimaginable, not to mention you were only a 20 mins drive from your family.

Oh yeah and he popped the question about four months into the move on your eight year anniversary which you of course said yes to, already having planned out your dream wedding, the pair of you agreeing to have it here rather than America with work and travel and all that malarkey.

For the first time in ages, it all seemed to be coming together for yous...

———————————————————

January 10 2021

8 hours later and the two of you hadn’t spoken all day, with him going off to what you assumed was his last training session and proceeding to ignore you and your many questions, you decided to go to work too, trying to get this whole moving countries once again after only one fucking year back home thing off your mind.

“Right that’s it, you’re going to talk to me Christian because you must think I’m a mind reader or something and I can just tell what’s going in in that brain of yours” you said, stumbling through the door and throwing your keys in the side before throwing yourself on the sofa beside your sad looking boyfriend. “I’m sorry” was all he could say, looking down at the ground leaving you with a confused frown on your face, “enough with the apologies, I just want to know what this means, for us” you sighed, placing a hand on his cheek and giving it a small pinch, hoping it’d put a smile on his lips.

“Well I’m definitely leaving Chelsea, guess not everything works out...but it means I’m back off to Germany” he said as you slowly nodded, “you have to do what’s best for your career, ok?” you smiled, running a hand through his hair as he was quick to shake his head, “no I can’t. I don’t wanna leave you, not again. And anyways we’re supposed to be trying for a baby and that’s going to be a challenge if we’re in different countries don’t you think?” he’s spoke with a slight laughter. “I’m not arguing with you Pullisic, go and sign that contract and get yourself away to Germany to revive your job. I’m not saying I’m going to drop everything and move again because I have my work and life, but I can easily fly out and visit, you’re forgetting I have an office over there. As for kids, we’ll get to that part when it comes around...so just take one step at a time and get on the phone to your agent to tell him you’re taking the transfer” you blurted out with a soft smile, knowing exactly what you were saying and that this was just another step in your life, at the end of the day, life isn’t life without it’s challenges along the way...❤️

———————————————

If you got this far reading it, I hope you enjoyed it! x

@kingkepa @champagne-coys @footballcloud @footballmagical @alexajanecollins @masonmounts @hoely-pavard @hazardybala @jamesmaddiscnx

[accidentallyadramablog]

Review: Down With Love (2010)

I felt a little nostalgic this week and decided to rewatch Down With Love, a romcom out of Taiwan featuring Ella Chen (from Hana Kimi) and Jerry Yan (Meteor Garden).

This is more of a brain dump as opposed to a real review. More below the cut.

Let me just start with the fact I love dramas with tomboys, gender benders, and gender non-conforming women and girls in general. I'm a 40 yr old gnc bi-woman, so some of these storylines really resonate with me - despite the trend of making those female characters glaringly stupid and pitiable.

Tags: Nanny, Love Square, Tomboy, Male Chases Female First, Sismance, Rich Man/Poor Woman, Pretends To Be Gay, Single Parent, Sisterhood, Boss/Employee Relationship

Our girl Ella Chen plays tomboy Yang Guo. Yang Guo works, has friends, and a shitty boyfriend of 5 years. She acts naïve, but she actually has a lot of life experience due to a *tragic backstory*. After her mother died, her father ruined the family business. Their family plunged from riches to rags and their father abandoned them. Yang Guo is 6 when this happens and it falls on her older sister Yang Duo to raise them both while homeless, starving, and navigating the homeless camps in the parks of Taipei.

Yang Duo (Kelly Huang) has raised her little sister by herself, beginning from poverty and homelessness to having a house and making a life for themselves. They bicker good-naturedly, but Yang Duo is very protective and supportive of her sister. She's managed to earn a job at a prestigious law firm as an admin assistant with strong accounting skills. She is seen as frugal, clever, and competent. Several characters make comments throughout the series about how it was a shame that she didn't go into certain careers because she's so accomplished despite not having a formal education. It's obvious that Yang Duo has put her own dreams and happiness on hold to make sure that she and Guo have financial security. Yang Duo is my favorite character btw. She is a supporting character that is multi-faceted and has her own character arc. I really like seeing her growth in this drama, and she gets some cute side couple action later in the series. Skip the last episode.

Due to growing up in poverty and scrabbling to lower-middle-class, the two girls work nonstop. After Guo is fired from her job waiting tables, Duo gets Guo a job as a nanny for her boss Xiang Yu Ping by lying and saying Guo is a lesbian.

Xiang Yu Ping (Jerry Yan) owns his own law firm and is seen as cold and overbearing. He is raising his dead brother's kids and none of the nannies he's hired have lasted either due to being chased off by the kids (a la the Sound of Music) or by trying to seduce him because he's a rich handsome lawyer. Relieved to have found a nanny who definitely wouldn't seduce him (because he thinks she's a lesbian), he just pays an unreasonably huge salary to keep her there with the kids despite their abuse.

Supporting characters: Amanda Chu as the best friend Yan Ling with the messy dating life is also delightful, but I've enjoyed all her roles. I may rewatch Lion Pride for her, now that I'm walking down memory lane. The office of 'just some lawyer dudes being dudes' are funny. I love when they gather around to watch drama and place bets on what's happening. They're also slackers. I would love/hate to work with them.

So that's the setup.

Honestly, I hate the 'pretends to be gay' plots. It's typically really offensive and this was no exception in a lot of places. (It's not at the same level as Personal Taste, but it's bad.) One of the cases Yu Ping takes on is unlawful termination and blackmail of a gay teacher and he asks for Yang Guo's advice to help the man. Taiwan was trying in 2010, but it wasn't exactly good representation to have a fake lesbian help an actual gay man faced with employment discrimination and blackmail over his orientation. When I compare this with Love is Science (2021 twdrama) that has two out lgbt characters employed in their office with significant roles, I'm just so happy that lgbtq media representation is still progressing.

I don't care about Yu Ping's best friend Qi Ke Zhong or Yu Ping's ex-girlfriend Ding Hui Fan because they're both terrible people that don't deserve forgiveness and their only purpose was to drag out our leads getting together. Since this was a rewatch, I knew how much I hated their scenes and skipped them as much as I could. You're not missing anything. Someone on YT needs to just make a Yang Duo/Xiang Yu Ping cut, tbh. Also? Go ahead and skip the deadbeat father.

The nanny bit only lasts three episodes (the kids are adorable), but it's long enough for Yu Ping to catch feelings and think his lesbian nanny is cute. He actually is not cold and overbearing as episode 1 makes him out to be. Yu Ping is supportive and tries to be a good friend to Guo. When he thinks her 'girlfriend' is cheating on her, he absolutely flips out because he feels she deserves to be respected and loved in her relationship. He learns about her family. He learns about her friends. He knows where to look for her when she's upset. He knows how to cheer her up and later, he knows how to make the perfect date. When he finds out she lied about being a lesbian, he's not even mad. He admits it was his fault for making certain demands in the employment contract. He's just upset that he's lost chances to flirt and court her.

Listen. It's a dumb premise in this drama and the misunderstandings suck. But it's so refreshing to see male leads be decent to women that are romantically and sexually unavailable to them. The bar is so low, in RL and in dramas, that Yu Ping belongs in the top tier of male drama leads. This dude was just going to continue in a supportive friendship for an undetermined time, both when he thought she was a lesbian and later when his shitty weasel of a best friend dated her under false pretenses. He didn't burden her with a confession until her relationship was over. And whenever she asked for space, he gave it to her. And when she confronted him on instances of jealously, he apologized and gave her space.

Yu Ping never tries to change Guo. He doesn't give her a makeover. She has a makeover scene that is instigated by another character and all he does is try to make her comfortable when she's so obviously uncomfortable. Then he cheers inwardly when he sees her overcome her awkwardness and have confidence. But by the end of the drama, she is still dressing and acting the same as in act 1. It honestly reminded me a little of Coffee Prince in that the fancy male lead is still just as enamored with his gnc woman by the end and the way she presents herself doesn't have an effect on their romantic relationship. Again, this is content catered to me as a bi & gnc woman in a relationship with a cis-het man. I often am mistaken for a man when I go out with my spouse and he's still super into me so let's normalize gnc people with gc people already it's 2021.

Anyway, if you watch romances for kisses, there's really only a couple of pecks and one nice passionate kiss and they're all in basically the last 3 eps of the series.

The last episode sucks. Stop at episode 15. Seriously. Don't watch episode 16. Why oh why do you let terrible people back in your life? Qi Ke Zhong and Ding Hui Fan are toxic and should but cut out of their lives. The end of ep 15 had a happy ending with a family-style breakfast for our two sisters with their boyfriends. Ep 16 threw in some more misunderstanding, jealousy, and separations followed by a time skip for no reason and brought back my two least favorite characters.

Anyway, I will live in my little world with Yang Duo and her sweet lawyer boyfriend Liang Zhi Hao (Ian Yim/Cyran Yan/Yan Yi En yeah, this actor has three stage names) that supports her interests and self-determination while they save money on mass transit by using his motorbike. And they build her dream home that she designs. Perhaps they put aside funds for her to pursue a degree in what she's passionate about.

[dontshootmespence]

Through It All

Part 22

Summary: Now married, Spencer & Y/N navigate the D/s lifestyle. How will their relationship change?

Words: 1,457

Warnings: Breath play with a belt, p in v, doggy style.

A/N: My next entry for @cm-kinkbingo​ run by my beautiful girlfriend @heycasbutt. This fills my breath play square.

Over the course of the next few weeks, you and Spencer talk a lot about how you want to expand your family. The more you think about, the more sure you are in your decision, but bringing it up to Spencer as a finality is a little nerve-wracking. Again, you have no idea why. You know exactly how Spencer will react.

Charlotte is just a week shy of her first birthday. It’s astounding that she’s already growing into this whole little person. As Spencer cuts up some scrambled egg and banana (her favorites), you decide to bring it up. “So you wanted to know how I felt about another pregnancy versus adoption and told me to take my time, right?”

“Yea,” he replies, almost buoyantly. Your relationship with him, your family -  it’s his pride and joy. If it weren’t for the fact that you were tired as all hell right after Charlotte was born, he would’ve had your desired three children all at once. Honestly, you would have too. “Have you decided?”

Nodding, you wait until he turns around, lovingly placing some food down on Charlie’s high-chair. “As much as I loved being pregnant, I think for my self-image and the fact that I’ve always wanted to adopt, I want to go with adoption. That okay?” You ask, nibbling on your lip. You know it is. You know Spencer. But something deep in the back of your head always worries. You’re a work in progress.

Spencer dips down to kiss you, whispering softly in response. “More than okay. Now we have to look into adoption agencies.” His easy, excited smile makes you feel a million times better in an instant. “What about closed or open adoption?”

“As long as the parent or parents want to be involved, I’m okay with that to an extent. Like I wouldn’t want them visiting once a week because that would be confusing to the baby as they grow, I feel, but like texting them updates and meeting up with them every so often I would be fine with. You?”

Thankfully, he feels the same way.

While Charlotte eats, the two of you talk more about what adoption means for your family. Especially when it comes to being chosen. Sometimes it’s months, sometimes it’s a lot more than that. On top of that, open adoptions come with more complications. Since the birth mother chooses the adoptive family, there’s the possibility that she will change her mind at the last second, so it’s a reality you have to come to terms with, no matter how difficult.

With orange juice for toasting, you clink your glasses. “To baby number two.”

---

The tenseness that settled into your shoulders during all this finally dissipates once a decision is reached. And it feels amazing. Even though it took almost the entire year to feel comfortable in your skin again, in your relationship with Spencer, as both his wife and his sub, you’re feeling confident in all aspects of your life. You’re not a perfect mother, but no one is. You’re not a perfect wife, but what is perfect and perfect is bullshit. And as a sub, you are as fulfilled as you’ve ever been.

“What’s so funny?” Spencer asks.

After putting Charlotte down to sleep for the night, you climb into bed and snuggle into Spencer. Whenever he reads to you, there’s nothing to worry about. Everything going through your brain comes to a full stop. “Nothing, I’m just happy. Finding our routine with Charlotte around has been difficult and it’s taken me about a year to stop looking in the mirror and putting so much stock in what I see, and I just...feel good.”

Slipping a bookmark in between the pages (more for you than him because he can always remember exactly where you left off down to the word), he places it back on the bedside table. “Want me to make you feel really good?” He asks rhetorically, knowing your answer. “Because I’ve got an idea.”

You lie back and pull the t-shirt you’re wearing over your head. Your attention is focused completely on him as he reaches down to the side of the bed to grab his belt. At first you think you’re in for a spanking and your pussy starts to quiver, but then he wraps it gently around your throat and you just give yourself over to him.

Playing around with the belt has happened before, but Spencer practiced on himself first, wrapping the belt around his own throat so he could make sure he wouldn’t be hurting you or impeding your ability to breathe more than you wanted him to. As the leather slipped gently around your neck, you gave yourself over to him and shut down all mental faculties. “On your hands and knees.”

Doing as he instructs, you rest your head against the soft blanket and whimper when he tugs on the free end of the belt. You push back into him, searching for him, but his hand remains still and the belt keeps you in place. “Does my little slut like putting her life in my hands?”

“Yes, Sir.” There’s something about knowing implicitly that Spencer could end your life right here and now but wanting to do the exact opposite that allows you that release, the ability to literally give over all semblance of control. “I trust you.”

He bends down and kisses the small of your back, every word he could possibly say rolled up into that one gesture. When he yanks on the belt again, gently bringing you into an all-fours position, your mouth drops open and you arch your back, shaking your ass a little for him. Spencer smacks your ass and grunts in appreciation, pulling you back against his still clothed length. “How badly do you want my cock?”

“So badly, Sir,” you whine, bucking back into him. “Please use me. I want you to. I need you to.”

Eyeing you hungrily, he bites the corner of his lip and lets the belt fall to the bed. “Show me while I undress and then I’ll give you what you need.”

While he hooks his thumbs into his sweats and pulls them down, you move your ass up and down on his length, feeling the hardening length of him press against your skin. Every move makes you more and more wet. Without thinking, Spencer bucks his own hips forward; he’s close and yet so far. Quickly, he moves backward off the bed. He can’t get his pants off fast enough.

Climbing back onto the mattress, you feel the dip and let out a slow, guttural moan when he pushes inside you with one swift movement. “Fuck,” you breathe. “Fuck me, Spence.”

When his grip tightens on the belt, you’re slack-jawed, tuning everything around you out. You don’t want to think anything. You don’t want to see anything. You don’t want to hear anything. All you want to do is feel. His cock sliding in and out of you. Your arousal slipping down your leg. The tension on the belt around your throat cutting off just the right amount of air.

Every feeling starts to sharpen. You feel fuller and the belt tightens more. Air is minimal but none of that matters because you feel like you could float among the fucking stars. As you fall over the edge, Spencer tightens the belt again, helping pull you into the hypnotizing trance for just a little while longer.

When Spencer pulls out and comes onto your ass, you’re still quivering, hot and cold switching places in rolling succession. “God, I love belts,” you giggle softly as he pulls it off and tosses it back on the floor. He gathers you into his arms and clumsily crosses the mattress on his knees to set you back down on the pillows. He comes to lie behind you with every inch of him against your back. Both of you can’t help but yawn. In his arms, comfort lulls you to sleep.

---

The next day after you both got back from work and began preparing dinner, you flip open your laptop and start searching out adoption agencies in DC and Maryland and Virginia. You and Spencer take turns cooking and seeking out agencies, discussing each one and trying to figure out which one is the best fit for you. “What about this one?” Spencer asks, slipping a piece of banana into Charlotte’s mouth. “Cradle of Hope.”

You shut the stove off and sit in Spencer’s lap, glancing at the website and reading their about page. “Wanna call tomorrow?” You ask, smiling at Charlotte mashing a banana on her high-chair.

“Yes, please. I think Charlie needs a brother or sister.”

@heycasbutt @ultrarebelheart @katherineisagubler @proud-slytherin-ghost @randomwriter23 @fandom-queen67 @sixx-sic-sixx @xqueenofthecraziesx @aofay02 @groovyreid @criesinreid @jdougl-love @xreider @cringeemospntrashassbutt @prettyboyeffect @prettyboyreid @themanip @spencerreidsthings @augustgraceful @whollytaciturn @prisonreid @factualfic @jasmine-negron @snitchthewitch @ellabobella051419 @crazyforsstuff @kaatelyyynn​ @jane-dough @dreatine @bitter-post-millennial @adlerorzel-blog @hallieedrew @psychedelephantt @krisymccall996 @4ueijos @mclaujac @ray-likes-starwars @nurseemilyblog @slightlyvicked @she4567 @guesswhosback129 @princessdolan @happycreatorfangirl @fallwhisper @nyemadowell @sammy-jo1977 @sin-bin-and-tragedies @imsuperawkward @ahhahahaheehee @crispygiantsaladgarden @reputay-swift @pizzarollsfordayz @andiebeaword @timey-wimey-lovi @garbagecanfics @friedparadisetale @dereksbetaa @idontevenknow2 @holyfishloverfarm @nohemi2500 @typeshitbih @sadgirlhan @kmc217 @bigbuttsowhatuniverse @charmedfandomgal @im--blushing @dangerouspersonllamabagel @fichoe21 @yes-sir-hotchner @thefandomallrounder @mrsenos08 @walkerchick007 @letsdisneythings @winchesterqueenie @specialagentleigh @spn-wheresthepie @haileymew @bitchyoulied @geniusgub @urdicksmol @6lack6erry @slutlanna976 @downondilaudid​ @baileysb1tch @la-vie-en-amour1​ @letsdoit-tomorrow @eideticprettyboydrreid​ @lazynoodledragon​ @shybaby231 @aimzonicles97​ @grace-superpowers​ @softestlavender​ @ssa-dr-ladylock​ @drprettyboy​ @patricks-fabulous-face​ @tearosaria​ @shxdowofdarkness​ @marvels-gurl​ 

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s Misunderstandings Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

Edit: It has been released in EN as of 13 October!

This is only the second time since they reunited that Gavin and MC are meeting for non-work purposes.

While MC is on her way to meet Gavin at the park, she notes how scorching the heat is, and that if she had known that the weather would be this hot, she would have picked an indoor activity instead. 

However, since they’re already at the park and there are periodic gusts of wind, she feels it’s a suitable day for boat rowing. At the same time, she’s worried that Gavin wouldn't find boat rowing interesting.

She sees Gavin in the distance and hurries over to him:

Before she says anything:

Gavin: You want to do that? We can do it together.

Even though the intimidating aura around him has lessened, I’m still at a loss and don’t know how to get close to him.

I want to try understanding what interests him, but he doesn’t speak much.

Seeing that I haven’t given him an answer, he repeats the question, once again leaving the choice to me.

Gavin: Do you want to do this, or look around?

MC: It just brings back a sense of nostalgia. When I was young, I would do this with my father. I think I haven’t done it ever since I got older.

Looking towards the little boats, Gavin hesitates for a moment. It’s clear that he is about to say something, but he swallows it, shutting his lips.

If it wasn’t for his odd behaviour, I wouldn’t have realized that the topic I brought up had struck a nerve…

Gavin seems to have a tense relationship with his family, and I rarely hear him bring them up.

I hurriedly rack my brains, thinking of ways to salvage the situation. Surprisingly, Gavin is the one who breaks the silence.

Gavin: You have such a good relationship with your family. My family usually doesn’t go out, maybe once a year to the park.

MC: I see… Then again, it’s rare to bring boys out for such activities.

Gavin: Really? I’m not so sure. I just wanted to try doing it with you.

Hearing this and thinking about how I’ve never seen him react to trying something completely new, I start to feel excited. I begin imagining his reaction to stepping on a boat for the first time – would he still remain as stoic as usual?

MC agrees, but the queue for the tickets is incredibly long so tells her to find a place to sit while he gets the tickets. After a long wait, Gavin returns… with fishing equipment. 

It turns out Gavin and MC had misunderstood each other:

Gavin: I misunderstood. I noticed you looking towards the lake, so I thought you were interested in fishing.

The laughter of the surroundings float towards us, a stark contrast to Gavin’s awkward solemnness. Tickled by the look of embarrassment on his face, I can’t help but let out a laugh. The more he confusedly asks me what happened, the more I laugh, to the point where I begin tearing up.

Gavin: What happened? Is it really that funny?

MC: No, nothing, haha. I just find this misunderstanding amusing.

With this, he lets out a breath, a smile in his eyes.

Gavin: While I was in the queue, I even pictured how you looked like fishing as a child.

MC: How can children have the patience to fish?

Gavin: If it were a normal child, that would be true. But you shouldn’t have a problem with it.

MC: Are you saying that I have the mentality of an old person?

Gavin: No, that’s not what I meant. In high school, you…

Upon bringing up high school, he immediately shuts his mouth, stiffly changing the topic.

Gavin: It’s fine, I’ll go back to get the correct tickets.

MC tells him that since the tickets have already been purchased, they should just try fishing. Since they rarely come here, they should create special memories:

Gavin: Even through fishing?

MC: Of course! This is the first time we’re both fishing, so it’s a worthwhile memory! Let’s set this day to be our “Fishing Anniversary” every year.

Gavin: Fishing Anniversary? Sounds good.

MC: I just spouted it randomly…

To hide the blush that is slowly creeping up my cheeks, I lower my face, snatching the fishing rod and bucket from him.

MC: All right all right, if we wait any longer, all the good spots near the lake would be taken!

Gavin: Okay. Give the things to me, you can pick the spot?

Out of nowhere, his fingertips brush the back of my hand. Warm, refreshing and dry, just like a summer wind. We both retract our hands at the same time, as though shocked by an electric current. After hesitating for a few seconds, he takes the fishing equipment from me.

Gavin: Oh right, the path to the lake is a little slippery, so hold onto me.

Looking at his outstretched palm, I nod my head and place my hand atop his. With my hand in his, he clasps our hands together a little tighter.

He follows my pace, and at certain points specially turns around to give me directions on which areas are safer to step on.

Since we’re at the lake and sheltered by shadows cast by the trees, logically speaking, the temperature here should be cooler than other places. Yet, I only feel my face heating up unnaturally, perhaps even hotter than being under the sun.

Although this is their first fishing experience, Gavin is surprisingly adept. He patiently shows MC what to do and warns her to be careful not to cut herself on the fishing line.

Without realizing it, I move closer and closer, until I hear a light cough from above my head.

Gavin: …If you can’t see it clearly, I can go even slower.

It is only now that I notice that I’m as good as glued to Gavin’s arm. Upon this realisation, the skin that made contact with his became even hotter than my head which has been under the blazing sun. Even my face starts to feel warm. My deafeningly loud heart beats block out all the sounds from my surroundings and even his voice.

Gavin: Are you feeling unwell? Your face is very red.

MC: No, not at all! The weather is just a little warm.

With exaggerated movements, I fan myself with my hand in an attempt to hide the redness of my face brought about by shyness.

Unexpectedly, he lifts the back of his hand to my face, checking if I am running a fever.

His drooping eyelashes soften his gaze, and his gentleness is comparable to the peaceful stirring of the lake, creating ripples on my heart. All hopes of calming down are gone, and I feel like I am going to explode amid the heat.

Gavin continues being blissfully unaware that he is the culprit of my plight.

He stretches out his palm in front of me. The originally stagnant air starts moving under his direction, brushing past the trees, brushing past his tidy short hair, and brushing past my crimson cheeks.

The heat is no longer unbearable.

Through this whole process, Gavin’s amber eyes remain fixed on my dazed face, his expression worried and serious.

Gavin: How is it? Feeling better?

MC: Much better. Thanks to that gust of wind!

Right after the words leave my mouth, the originally gentle wind suddenly shifts chaotically in all directions, like a beast with the lock of its cage removed. My hair ends up splayed all over my face. Through my messy hair, I can see Gavin looking frantic.

The chaotic wind stills, and he hurriedly and carefully helps me tidy my hair.

Gavin: I’m sorry, I lost control for a while.

MC: It’s not your fault, it was the wind after all.

Gavin: So… it is my fault.

They start picking up the fishing equipment that got splayed around, and Gavin seems to be searching for something in particular. Suddenly, they find themselves within nose-touching distance:

Our breaths are mixed together with the heat waves of summer, causing our faces to feel hot. I unconsciously shrink backwards, but his hand wraps around my back, holding me tightly in his arms.

Gavin: Wait, don’t move.

Nervous to the point where my eyes forgot how to blink, I watch as he moves forward.

He gazes at the side of my face, both hands hooking something onto my earlobe. I can feel his fingertips on my earlobe, and heart threatens to leap out of my chest.

The wind has become stagnant, the air completely still. His movements seem to be in slow motion and crystal clear.

After a relatively long time, he shifts some stray hair behind my ear, and opens the front camera of his phone towards me.

Gavin: It’s supposed to be worn like that, right?

MC: What is it?

Gavin: Ear cuffs. They were blown away just now.

Half of Gavin’s face appears in the phone screen, a serious expression on his face as he points to the ear cuff on my ear.

Clumsily, I accidentally pressed a button on his phone, and my dazed face is immediately saved in Gavin’s phone.

MC: Ah! Wait! Let me delete that photo!

Gavin: It’s fine to keep it. It’s cute. You look good with those ear cuffs.

Even though I can’t tell if he is complimenting the ear cuffs or me, it doesn’t stop my face from heating up several degrees.

They continue fishing, with him giving her tips on what to take note of. MC ends up catching three fishes while Gavin catches none. MC thinks that the fish can probably sense Gavin’s intimidating aura, which is why no fishes have come near.

After a while, MC can’t help but pat his shoulder and comfort him. Just as she finishes talking, Gavin’s fishing rod finally latches onto something heavy – a big tortoise. As he retrieves the tortoise from the hook, blood starts running onto Gavin’s arm.

While MC panics, Gavin calmly washes his hand in the lake.

Gavin: The one who got hurt isn’t me, it’s the tortoise.

I turn my attention to the tortoise which has hid inside its shell. Sure enough, its front leg has been cut.

MC: It looks like it’s in a lot of pain…

Gavin: I’m not sure how to stop the bleeding. Let’s bring it to the park helpers.

While he speaks, he takes off his white jacket without a moment’s hesitation and wraps the tortoise in it.

MC: Your jacket! Wouldn’t using a towel be enough?

Gavin: It’s all right, let’s bring it to the park helpers quickly.

His tenderness is so selfless, whether towards humans or animals.

They bring the tortoise to the park helpers, who assure them that it would be fine. They head to the washroom to clean up, and MC sees Gavin at the water cooler:

The crystal-like column of water sprays onto his lips, and the sweat dripping off the side of his neck shines in the sunlight. In a moment, his clean and cool breath is carried by the breeze into my heart.

There is a small patch of mud on his face, but he doesn’t seem to notice. I straighten my hand to wipe the stain off him. He immediately turns around, eyes filled with consternation.

Perhaps it is just the red flowers of the trees above, but I think I see a crimson flash on his face. I feel slightly embarrassed.

MC: Erm… Your face is dirty, let me help you wipe it off.

Gavin: Oh, so that’s what you were doing… Thank you.

MC: It feels like we keep misunderstanding each other today…

Gavin: Yeah. I’ll do my best to prevent it as much as possible next time.

MC: Huh?

Gavin: Although I don’t really understand the hearts of women, yours is the only one I don’t want to get wrong. So give me some time to figure it out, is that okay?

Even though it is meant to be a question, he says it with complete resolution, accompanied with a tone and gaze that cannot be denied.

It is so endearing that it stirs one’s heart.

MC: Of course you can!

No matter how much time you take, it’s fine with me.

No matter how long you need, I am willing...

[Note] In Chinese it‘s phrased like she’s accepting a marriage proposal

~

The date concludes with Gavin and MC back at the park after a year. Gavin notices that MC is deep in thought.

Gavin: Seeing that you’ve been trying to suppress a smile… Are you thinking of something happy?

MC: Yes, it’s something that makes me incredibly, incredibly happy. It is the thing that makes me happiest on earth.

🐟

Calls: First // Second