#my tags got so long that im just going to post them later as a big meta
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that "i wish that being aware of a mindset being ridiculous would make it easier to snap out of it" post hitting hard every single day
#talkys#parents: you are manipulating your friends into going out of their way to do nice things for you.#you need to give them a break from all your demands and stop asking for help and handouts.#me: dis isn't true i've exerted an equal amount of effort into friendships but in different ways. my friend driving hours to pick me up#and take me out of town and my other friend sometimes buying me gifts are equivalent to when i'd stay up all night#to edit every single one of their essays before they were due or listening to all their problems and giving them advice#dropping everything to be there for them etc. this is how friendships Work#also me: ohhh trueee everyone's going to get sick of my evil selfish ass soon :(#god the tags on the other post got too long but i forgot to add it sucks venting online too bc when ppl try to comfort me#im grateful but all i can think is oh my god im so horrible for painting my parents as villains when they arent.#what if people convince me to do a wrong selfish awful thing. im being ungrateful. im a liar. im blowing it out of proportion#its actually not that bad im just spoiled and unappreciative (+ then life will rightfully kick my ass)#i know many ppl who wish they were in my shoes. i might even be if i realize how insurmountable being alive is if i get to leave for a bit#delete later
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these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p
i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess
#my art#probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags#im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile#im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me#why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that#their entire character is meant to parallel her#there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that#🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other#there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves#🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there#the entire 6am ending sequence ???#literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content#and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen#and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more#appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume#.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her.#its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot#i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD#anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now
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.
#horrible awful no good very bad day#apparently last night the apartment below ours caught fire and we were out of town#and we didnt find out til several hours later from our neighbor who had to track me down on facebook- we didnt hear a thing#from the apartment in any official capacity until like? 10 hours after the fire?#anyway we rushed home supremely early from a friend trip that was like#meant to be very good and fun#anyway so we rush home because no one can tell us if our cats are okay#and they were but our whole apartment is supremely smoky and all of our possessions are extremely smoky#and we cant stay there or let the cats stay there because of the smoke and soot and particles it just doesnt feel safe#so now im in my partners familys house which is like#fine but its full of people and i dont feel fully comfortable and i cant fully relax and and and and and etc etc etc etc#and tomorrow i have to wake up early and go over there and find out what if anything the complex plans to do about it and how long its gonna#be until we can come back safely. or more likely get more noncommittal answers and be unsure#and i dont know how long i can stay here and be normal#AND to top it all off i paid like 60$ to go to an aquarium i didnt even get to go to . but yknow. all of my friends got to !#and like im happy for them but no one was excited as i was and now i get to ruminate on how everyone got to do the fun thing i love#while i was stuck doing 17 loads of laundry and bathing the soot out of my cats fur in someone elses house#certainly it could be worse and im glad my cats are fine and im glad its just smoke damage and not yknow. Burn damage#but im having a sad little pity party anyway because i was supposed to have an amazing beautiful day ending in a relaxing evening#in my own home#and now i have to cope with all of this instead. all i want to do is cry#and also like. im scared we will have to move#but im also scared we wont... because like#i think it was a gas issue. and knowing that that happened in my building? and also knowing how much landlords love to halfass#repairs and everything else#i just dont know how safe i will feel there#even if they tell me its fine#anyway sorry for the tag vent post again my old ways will never die#ghost posts
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lover ; LN4
pairing(s) ; lando norris x swiftie!reader
summary ; in which y/n just wants to post pictures of her boyfriend, not expecting people to get the wrong idea
warnings ; smau, lots of fluff
note ; its 3am and i didn’t want to sleep til i finished this so idk what mistakes there probably is lmao😭 also just pretend the twitter stuff says 2024 i cba changing it all
instagram ; yourusername
liked by nando4lorris, carlossainz55 and others
yourusername i saw the dimples first and then i heard the accent 💓☺️
view all comments
user1 who are you
carlossainz55 you tagged the wrong account silly
yourusername you replied with the wrong account moron
nando4lorris you two aren’t slick
yourusename yeah ok mr nando lorris
nando4lorris you’re supposed to be on my side wtf
user2 i’m so lost 😭😭
user3 i’m confused someone explain
user4 babe everyone’s confused
user5 wait so is this carlos’ gf or not
user6 idk who you are but you’re hot as fuck
user7 ok i swear i’ve seen carlos wear that top in the 4th pic before
user8 yeah i think i’ve seen lando wearing it too tho
user9 but lando isn’t in this girls likes and comments
nando4lorris yeah guys you’re right she’s gotta be carlos’ girlfriend
yourusername nando4lorris fuck off i hate you so much 😭😭😭😭😭
user10 ????????
instagram ; yourusername
liked by landonorris, nando4lorris and others
yourusername i’d like to hang out with you for my whole life 🤗🧡
view all comments
user1 crying because lando liked on his main AND his burner (confirmed)
yourusername p.s. the tag in these pics is for PHOTO CREDS 😁
user2 LMFAOOO HER COMMENT
user3 girl said my mans is NOT carlos sainz jr🙅♀️
user4 i have so much to say
user5 the taylor love lyrics, the orange heart emoji, the flowers, the ladybugs, THE CAT CARDIGAN
user6 i think i would die for her
nando4lorris 🧡🧡
yourusername 🥰
carlossainz55 i thought you guys were still trying to be sneaky
yourusername carlos you’re the one making it hard to be sneaky
user7 oh it’s so lando
carlossainz55 oh well it’s been 4 years everyone already knew
user8 ITS BEEN WHAT JEHFKSKKS ????????
instagram ; landonorris
liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and others
landonorris i’ve loved you (five) summers now honey but i want them all 😁😁
view all comments
user1 oh my god
user2 FIVEEEEE SUMMERS????? EVEN MORE THAN CARLOS SAID !/?;&2!@:9(
carlossainz55 i’m sorry i just guessed how many years because i didn’t know exactly just that its been a long long time
yourusername it’s ok carlos you were close
user3 SHES BEEN TO RACES AND NO ONES EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HER OH MY GOD
maxverstappen1 finally mate
oscarpiastri wooo secrets out 🥳
user4 he used a taylor lyric for the caption im gonna be sick
user5 if you zoom in on the second pic you can actually see me drowning myself in the background
ciscanorris1 💓💓
yourusername love you🥰
user6 wait i don’t have twitter can someone explain
user7 oh BABE you’ve got some catching up to do
yourusername my fav boy love you to saturn ☺️🧡
landonorris i love you more than you love taylor swift🥰
yourusername ok settle down babe don’t go too far
landonorris no sorry you’re right
user8 when he understands that ones love for taylor is never beaten >>>>>
user9 i need them biblically
user10 i still don’t understand how they hid her for 5 years lmfaoooo
user11 yourusername ok y/n but did he take you to the eras tour
yourusername he got us tickets for a uk show later this year 🥰🥰
user12 now, how’d that curly haired vroom vroom bitch pull HER
liked by landonorris!
my other works !
#lando norris#lando#lando norris fluff#smau#formula one imagine#lando x reader#lando norris x reader#lando x you#lando norris x you#carlos sainz#formula one#formula 1#f1 imagine#f1 fluff#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fluff#mclaren#taylor swift#lando norris imagine#lando imagine#Spotify
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heaven - PIASTRI - part 3
pairings: oscar piastri x private!reader (fc: gracie abrams)
summary: oscars girlfriend attends her first grand prix and the public get to see just how proud she is of oscar
authors note: ive honestly missed writing for oscar and priv!reader so we are back in honor of oscars FIRST EVER WIN AND INCREDIBLE SPRINT RACE!! im genuinely so proud of oscar and im honestly in shock. i also follow ZERO wag pages so i have no clue what they are like, if people actually follow them etc.
authors note 2: short-ish and sweet for OSCARS FIRST WIN?? i started writing this about 30 minutes before the sprint race so i had no clue where this was going to go but HE WON!!
part 1 part 2 masterlist
f1wagupdates
liked by user5, user81, user9 and 7,289 others
yn entering the paddock for the first time today! she followed shortly after oscar, spoke to some oscar/mclaren fans and handed a few who were unable to meet oscar, on his way in, some signed things she had. we absolutely love her already!!
view comments
user81: omg she’s literally the sweetest thing😭
user17: I LOVE HER ALREADY
user61: the fact that oscar fans already love her🫶🫶
user9: oh she looks so cute!!
user72: i was one of the girls she gave something too! she said she had been following behind oscar and kept an eye on anyone who he missed to give them something after he left. she was very very shy, but she made sure to speak to everyone who oscar missed and was asking us questions about us, overall she was very sweet!!
user22: this makes me love her even more😭and congrats on the signed stuff!! do you mind me asking what it was?
user72: thank you! and of course, we all got something different! i got a signed polaroid of oscar (im still in disbelief?! and it must have been one she took herself bcs i couldnt find the photo online anywhere), someone a bit down from me got what looked like a drivers card and i saw someone else get a picture of his car!
user22: A POLAROID?? oh you won😭😭
user1: i wonder if we will see her again
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 9,619 others
first qualifying in the paddock was a rollercoaster of emotions, not the result we were hoping for, expected or wanted but its ok because oscars gonna smash it tomorrow and we’ll pretend today didnt happen!!
view comments
oscarpiastri: glad you had fun🤍
oscarpiastri: my goodluck charm wasnt goodlucking today
yourusername: dont say thattt☹️ill try and be extra lucky tomorrow promise!!
oscarpiastri: i love you
yourusername: i love you more🤭
user3: the photo difference😭
user14: loved seeing you in the garage today
yourfriend3: i love you but those photos😭😭
yourusername: stoooop i was so nervous all day😭
yourfriend7: wish oscar luck from all of us back home!
oscarpiastri: 👍👍
user81: u are so cute☹️
user2: so unfair how they told oscar during the interview!!
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 9,182 others
changed outfits but we are ready for the sprint!!
tagged oscarpiastri
comments on this post have been limited
oscarpiastri: love you lots and lots, thank you for coming🧡
yourusername: I LOVE YOU!! and you dont have to thank me, ill always stay with you🤍🤍
f1
liked by yourusername, mitchevans_ and 817,175 others
PIASTRI STORMS TO SPRINT POLE IN QATAR!🤩🔥
He just keeps getting better and better!
view comments
mclaren: YESSSSSS!!!👏👏👏
user6: P1ASTRI
yourusername: INCREDIBLE🤩🤩
user18: more than deserved!
user73: absolute legend
yourusername added to their story
seen by oscarpiastri and 6,289 others
user6: AHHHHHH
user81: LOOK AT HIM GO
oscarpiastri: ☺️☺️
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 10,278 others
oh how i obsessively adore you.. today you took your first f1 pole position, hours later you became a formula one race winner (idc if it was a sprint you still won!!)
i have been on this incredible journey with you long before your first f2 race. i was by your side at your first f2 win and im still by your side now youve won in f1
i know how much this win means to you, i know how much you wanted to prove yourself to everyone and you have. you never fail to amaze me, especially coming back after the shit show that was yesterday
you are truly incredible and you are so so special🐨
i love you so much, congratulations🧡
tagged oscarpiastri
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user61: WHAT IF I STARTED SOBBING
user11: THE KOALA😭😭
user72: so deserved🧡incredible drive!!
user68: the f2 race winner picture😭😭the f1 race winner picture😭😭THE SMILEY INTERVIEW PICTURE😭😭
oscarpiastri: my favorite goodluck charm🧡
oscarpiastri: thank you so much for sticking with me through it all
oscarpiastri: i appreciate you so much my love
yourusername: you are so special, lovely🩵
landonorris: usually i hate your sappy posts but ill make an exception this time..congrats mate!!
oscarpiastri: you too mate!
yourusername: knew id get you to love these posts eventually🤭
formula2: we’re so proud of our aussie🥹🐨
oscarpiastri and yourusername added to their stories
seen by yourusername, aussiegrit and 722,519 others
*text on first photo reads: my favourite thing is when i open my phone after a race and i see the photos yn sent me during the race🧡* *text on second photo reads: i love seeing my boy do what he loves*
oscar’s replies:
user52: shes so cute☹️
user12: tell me that was when you won the race and not before
user61: where can i find someone like her😭
yourusername: babyyy i didnt know youd share these😭😭
oscarpiastri: just had to show everyone how grateful i am for you🤍
user49: get yourself someone who supports you the way yn supports oscar!!
yn’s replies:
user17: oh i love you guys so much
yourfriend2: we are all so proud of oscar!!
oscarpiastri: i love you so much more than i can ever express
yourusername: osc☹️☹️ i hold so much love and adoration for you
oscarpiastri: wait when did you take this photo??
yourusername: i watched the final lap in the bathroom so i could sob in peace😭
#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 smau#f1 social media au#social media au#formula 1 insta au#formula 1 social media au#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#★ private oscar#f1 insta au
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one piece smau: dating ace edition
— male reader <3 i love ace so much sorry it took so long to finish this pooks
— im a firm believer that ace definitely types hehehehe and actually does giggle in real life. he's such a giggler.
liked by [l/n].ace, freeluffy, and 17k others
portgas.[name]: best part about dating ace?? his person(a)lity(rms) ❤️
tagged: [l/n].ace
[l/n].ace: damn id smash this fine mffff
-> portgas.[name]: im deleting this post u fucking narcissist
freeluffy: i still win our arm wrestles tho 🥱
roro.zoro: does [name] know he mispelt personality?
-> portgas.[name]: its something called a pun, zoro.
-> roro.zoro: well the delivery sucked i thought ur brain had an aneurysm
revo.sabo: BARRRFFFF this egotistical maniac didnt need this stroke to his ego [name]
-> portgas.[name]: trust me im regretting even dating ur silly ass brother rn
-> [l/n].ace: r u guys talking about me 🥺🥺🥺🥺
liked by portgas.[name], m4rco.polo, and 19k others
[l/n].ace: pov ur on a date with me and watching me try not to vomit all the sushi i shoved into my mouth all over the table
tagged: portgas.[name]
portgas.[name]: why r u on dates w other ppl???
-> [l/n].ace: ITS A JOKE BABY PLS
-> portgas.[name]: mhm
m4rco.polo: damn this shit sounds disgusting id never go on a date w u again if i saw this tbh
[liked by portgas.[name], eee.izo, yammyato, and 100 others]
yamayamato: r u cheating on [name] ace?
-> [l/n].ace: IT WAS A JOKE ITS AN INTERNET SAYING PLEASE
-> yamayamato: yeah well i dont think its very funny :// u should be loyal in a relationship
-> portgas.[name]: yamato <333 u were always my favorite boy ugh i love u sm 🥰
liked by portgas.[name], yamayamato, and 21k others
[l/n].ace: weekly me post bc i love me! (and my mans) 🤓😕
tagged: portgas.[name]
portgas.[name]: yeah im in there guys!!!
-> [l/n].ace: i love u hehehe u make me blush hehehehe
portgas.[name]: are u free tn? i'll take u out and treat u right ughhh
-> [l/n].ace: i got a date with my bf later tn, sorry not sorry !!!
revo.sabo: i need to mute you because i can't be seeing this shit when im in public
-> [l/n].ace: dont be ashamed that your brother is so hot wtf
revo.sabo: with all due respect, im already ashamed that hes my brother in general soooo
[liked by portgas.[name], eee.izo, and 200 others]
yamayamato: my arms are still bigger. get on my level ace HAHAHA
-> portgas.[name]: proof?
-> [l/n].ace: this is literally cheating, you're cheating on me right now. can you please stop cheating on me with yamato?
liked by [l/n].ace, portgas.[name], and 15k others
m4rco.polo: god forbid these two do anything by themselves
tagged: [l/n].ace and portgas.[name]
[l/n].ace: ur just jealous ur not in love like we are
-> portgas.[name]: agreed bc how r u gonna be like 40 and still not get any play
-> m4rco.polo: 40?????
dni_nami: i loveee them (whenever they come over they ruin the entire house and im this close to murdering them both)
-> portgas.[name]: but nami 🥺🥺🥺
-> dni_nami: no.
eee.izo: its like ace is trying to become one with him or smth, so unsettling
-> [l/n].ace: weren't you the one preaching about young love a week ago?
-> eee.izo: and now im telling u to GROW UP ace, he's not going anywhere if u let go of him for two seconds
[liked by m4rco.polo, revo.sabo, and 90 others]
liked by portgas.[name], freeluffy, revo.sabo, and 22k others
[l/n].ace: i love my snookums baby boy handsome pretty king to the moon and to saturn <3
tagged: portgas.[name]
portgas.[name]: ... i guess i love you too.
-> [l/n].ace: be more confident when u say it baby cakes
-> m4rco.polo: oh my god [name] break up with this fool already what the fuck is this
freeluffy: whats a snookums?
-> roro.zoro: don't ask luffy, you wouldn't want to know.
revo.sabo: awww what a cute post, if only ace were normal <3
[liked by eee.izo, m4rco.polo, and 100 others]
-> [l/n].ace: ????
-> portgas.[name]: im so glad we can agree on this sabo !!!
liked by eee.izo, [l/n].ace, revo.sabo, and 22k others
portgas.[name]: rare sighting of a photo of ace with his shirt on, everyone celebrate in the comments !!!
tagged: [l/n].ace
portgas.[name]: dont get me wrong hes sexy both ways but im not trying to see his nipples every where i go
-> [l/n].ace: but babe you said u liked my titties 🥺🥺🥺
-> portgas.[name]: can you not do this rn.
revo.sabo: yayyy finally he stopped being a WHORE
-> portgas.[name]: at least he can be my whore, but still i agree
-> [l/n].ace: you're the most confusing man i know
-> [l/n].ace: i love u sm hehehehe
-> revo.sabo: the way ik his ass is blushing so hard rn and kicking his feet in the air
eee.izo: thank god for that, i was getting tired of seeing him shirtles sin every single post
m4rco.polo: finally !!!
portgas.[name]'s story:
i love him A LOOOTTTTTTTT even though he's a lil freak
[l/n].ace replied to your story: when he posts you 😍😍 i love u too bby (even tho u literally cheat on me to my face with yamato but its wtv bc i love u enough to ignore it ❤️)
#≡;- ꒰ ° smau series ꒱#one piece smau#one piece modern au#one piece x male reader#x reader#x male reader#one piece imagines#ace x male reader#ace male reader#ace x reader#portgas d ace x male reader#portgas d ace x reader#ace imagines#male reader imagines#portgas d ace imagines
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hii!! can you write smut about tom were you're sucking his dick for the first time? hes just looking down at your teary eyes and getting more and more turned on GAHHWD🤕🙏
% “always be my boy, i'll always be your girl.”
# synopsis ; what the ask said‼️‼️
# pairing ; tom kaulitz x reader
# word count ; 490
# tags ; nsfw (mdni), oral (m receiving), degradation, should’ve pumped this bitch out in a day but i got stressed while procrastinating it and adhd made me deep clean my bathroom instead (who knew bleach could make a tub smell like a public chlorine pool) so who knows if its bad
a/n ; i’m hitting post and running away this was so bad I’M VOMITTINH
tom is a head pusher. you probably would have gathered that if you assumed based off what he’s said in his interviews before, but nothing could’ve prepared you to be kneeling in front of him for what was close to a consecutive hour. do you remember what led up to this point? no, if that doesn’t count giving each other hickeys almost aggressively after a big interview on a show.
regardless, you were practically being used. head rolled back, offering a view of tom’s jawline as he groaned up into the air about how you were on your knees letting him fuck into your mouth with your hands braced against his legs. you’d been doing nothing but letting him use you, gagging around his length as reward for cooperating so well.
spit from your mouth starts to spill down your chin, mirroring the tears and whatever smoky makeup you had put on before the show from your eyes actively running down your face. your gagging starts to get a little louder from his quickening pace, and in taking notice, he looks down to mock and smile at you.
“..was für eine schmutzige hure.” what a dirty whore.
he groans, making sure to emphasize each word with a hard thrust down your relaxed throat, “take it, take it all like a good girl since you want it so bad.”
and you do. maybe it was the way the interviewer kept making sly advances towards your boyfriend the entire time, and yet he dodged every one of them so naturally but he even made sure to mention you in nearly every answer he could, maybe that was why you wanted his thick cock in your mouth so bad.
through your eyes rolling back and tom hitting the back of your throat over and over again, you gathered enough composure to start swirling and lapping your tongue around his length, keeping extra attention aside to keep your cheeks hollow.
his thrusts faltered a bit, his hips slowing down stuttering but nevertheless still rocking himself into your mouth. continuing his pace, both hands you braced on his legs slid up to paw at his length and pull your head back to the tip just to fall back to the hilt of his cock. tom’s guidance began to fall short, moving to just rest on your head while you started to control the moving.
the simple up-and-down motion evolved into a maneuvering to give special attention to his tip and make space for your hands that stroked and rubbed with the pace of your lapping, using spit that spilled from your mouth to make a messy lube.
if you told tom from however long ago that you weren’t sucking the soul out of his dick that you’d never gave a blowjob before and were later going to give him possibly the most earth-shattering orgasm of his life with little to no guidance, he might’ve laughed.
a/n ; long time no seeeeee 😋😋 im not even gonna lie to you guys cause this is tumblr i dont have to live in fear >:( but i did suck dick to method write for this, love you guyssss
a/n 2 ; if yg on my taglist dont fw the tagging anymore lmk i’ll take you off‼️
© ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO VICKYZANGELS. do not steal, repost, plagiarize, or use my work for anything.
taglist ; @lixs-l4cefairy @imabitchh @arquiiva @verelace @iovemoonyy @bl1ngringz
#tom kaulitz x reader#tokio hotel#tom kaulitz smut#tokio hotel fanfic#tokio hotel x reader#tom kaulitz#tom kaulitz fanfic
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heavy hitter
part one can be found here!
this was a request, find it here!
words: 3.5k (yall im so sorry)
summary: james potter x beater!reader James might’ve won the game, but he needs to let people know he has the girl too.
warnings: smut. minors DNI. afab!reader, p in v, pwp, unprotected sex (wrap b4 u tap) locker room sex, creampie, oral (m!receiving) reader is a brat… this is nasty don’t look at me (jesus tagging this is crazy)
a/n: …. what plot? i wanted to write angst again but got bored so… *jazz hands* erm…. this is my first smut fic, i’ll go crawl in a hole now
(posted 12/19/23 not edited will return)
—
Hitting the shower was James’ chance of washing his anger away before seeing you again tonight. He always gave quidditch his 110% percent, but something animalistic rose out of him when he saw you get manhandled by Wilkins, his team keeper. And regardless of the Gryffindor win, he was planning to chew off his ear later, whether it be with extra laps at the next practice or a good ol’ fashioned wallop to the head. But this anger wasn’t due to a foul play, not even because you got hurt (your arm was clearly fine since you used it to swing your bat at Wilkins’ head after). What got James mad was the fact you ripped your jersey.
No, actually, it was definitely because of what happened after that.
He’s not the type of boyfriend to decline you showing a little extra skin, but any fantasy that entered his mind was quickly cleared away when he saw you re-emerge from the locker rooms wearing your teammate’s jersey. McGonagall said it would be the only way to let you play the rest of the game since there’s no magic allowed on the field, but ever the rulebreaker, James thought that was absolute bullshit.
He rinses the shampoo out of his mop of curls as he thinks about that tosser whose name he can’t even remember. The guy was way too eager to give you his jersey, flirting with you at practices and just not taking a hint. Everyone knew you’d been dating him for a while now, and of course, James knows you can handle yourself, but there are just some things he can’t let slide. Namely, assholes that can’t take a hint. Also, he was a benchwarmer at most. Cocky motherfucker.
Watching you fly around with some other guy’s last name on your back did terrible things to James’ ego. The blur of suds pool at his feet, circling down the drain as he takes a deep breath. He’s got it bad for you, but luckily you like him enough to call him yours.
The Gryffindor locker room was empty by now with everyone too eager to celebrate their win. It was his last year as team captain and at Hogwarts in general, so he should be right up there drinking with all of them, but James really needed to let off some steam.
“Babe?” Your voice calls from the doorway, echoing against the empty walls. Condensation drips off the door handle as you take a peek to see the one shower going in the corner. What was taking him so long? You saw the rest of the team leave without him and they were trying to drag you to celebrate with them, but with your boyfriend still drowning himself in the stall….
“Over here love,” he calls out, hearing your sandals clomp against the wet tile as you turn the corner.
“You almost done? We have a party to get to, Jamie.”
The falling water makes it a bit hard to hear you, so he pops his head out from behind the curtain and squints at your frame. You giggle and pull his chin closer for a few quick kisses.
“Is that your jersey?”
His lips feel so soft against yours as you get distracted, slipping your tongue into his mouth instead of giving him a proper answer. Godric you’re good at that. James’ wet hand quickly pushes the curtain open grabbing at your ass and tucking you against his naked body, soaking the front of you in the process. A muffled yelp escapes you as your body adjusts to the temperature and the feeling of his semi-hard dick against your front.
“No, coach still has mine and I have to return this to Steven after.” You say calmly, smiling against his cheek as he sucks at your neck. He would’ve enjoyed getting lost in the scent of your still-damp hair, but your statement makes him stop as he bites at your pulse point. A whimper leaves your mouth.
“Why the fuck are you still wearing whatshisname’s jersey?”
James’s hands trail up your back to feel the embroidered letters against your back, and he swears his eye twitches. The incredulous look on his face makes you hold back your laughter.
“Steven. You know him! Don’t tell me this is a big deal for you, baby. You know I couldn’t magically fix mine during the game…”
Your hands trace down his slippery biceps as he unconsciously ruts against your belly, cock now at full attention from rubbing up against you. Your nipples are pebbled up under the material of the jersey, soaked from your less-than-innocent embrace, and he lifts a hand to brush over them, making you groan.
“Definitely not. I wouldn’t get jealous of a prick like him…” He scoffs, hands going back down to fist the fabric over your hips, “Not a big deal at all.”
“Mhmmm… I’ve got a way to make it up to you, even if it’s not a big deal.” You muse, fingers reaching to tease his swollen head as James exhales harshly.
“I’d hope this is a big deal for you, baby. Would want nothing more,” he breathes, pushing your back against the wall.
“You just want me to say your dick is big.”
The both of you laugh before he tugs the jersey over your head, ripping it in the process.
“James!”
He shrugs, burrowing his head into your breasts and lapping at your right bud. You moan, shoving your shorts down past your ankles before pulling his hair away from your chest.
“Mmmm…fuck, babe. I’m supposed to be congratulating you right now!”
Your hands push at his torso slightly as you fall to your knees, placing yourself onto your sandals. Gentle hands graze his thighs, as he feels your nose bump into his cock. The water hits James’ back perfectly, and the sensation of your hand pumping and sliding along his length makes him almost feral, shutting his eyes in pleasure.
“You played so well today baby… deserve a reward, don’t you think?”
Your tongue slips out from behind your lips to lick the underside of his length, holding yourself there as you look up at him to answer. Droplets cascade down his pecs as he breathes heavily at the feeling, precum leaking from his cockhead. James hisses as you tap him against your tongue.
“Fuck, baby. Need your mouth right now.” He can feel you grin against his girth before his cock disappears into your mouth, hot and warm, and his instinct is to grab your hair. Goosebumps rise on the parts of him untouched by the shower. Your throat rumbles with a groan as you let him work himself down into your throat, the resistance waning as your jaw slackens. Cheeks hollowing, your lips retract with a pop.
“Like that, Jamie?” you say, reaching around to massage his balls as your tongue continues to play with the long vein that runs along the surface of his cock. It’s hard to fit all of him in your mouth, fingers barely able to wrap around it, much less the rest of you. His hand massages the part where your mouth hinges open, squeezing your cheeks around him as he fucks into you with a bated sigh.
“You always take me so well, baby. You can handle more, that’s it,” he pants, biting his lip as you concentrate real hard on letting him use you, the corners of your eyes watering. His heart is racing now as his hips piston to the noises that come gurgling from your throat and he almost slips before his reflexes help him catch the back of your head before it bangs into the stall wall. A loud moan sputters from around his cock as your eyes roll back, and the lack of oxygen makes you press your fingernails into his quads harshly.
He pulls out from between your lips, cradling your chin as the both of you catch your breath, coughing a little.
“You okay? Mouth so good I lost my footing.” All you can do is laugh hoarsely as he grins boyishly before you realize he’s not wearing his glasses.
“Can you even see me? S’bit cold down here, Mr. MVP.”
He pulls you up, strong hands lifting you at your armpits until you stand in front of him, reaching over to grab his glasses from the shower shelf. You slide them on as water sprays onto them slightly as he shifts, blinking at you in clearer vision.
“There’s my boy,” you whisper, cupping his jaw and slotting your lips between his once more. You could kiss James forever, all muscles and hard exterior, but everything else, his lips down to his insides feel and go soft for you. He groans lowly and it rumbles between the both of you, before the slick motions against your core remind you of something else that’s really hard right now.
“All for you,” he sighs, hands gripping onto your hips with a force that you think they’ll bruise tomorrow, and you love having physical reminders of him wherever you go. Huh, maybe he is jealous. And if not, he’s possessive. It makes your cunt pulse harder just thinking about it, your arousal helping his head slide nicely against your bundle of nerves and the softness of your stomach.
“I’m yours, you know that right?” Not replying, he instead inhales the sweat from your neck, following it with a dip of his tongue up towards your ear.
“James.”
Your boyfriend scoffs lightly, a small smirk on his face as he pulls your chin up to meet him at eye level. You’re so gorgeous like this, just letting him do what he wants to you. Always so reassuring of his needs. His thumb rubs against your bottom lip before you open your mouth and swirl your tongue around clean skin.
“Just feels like I have to remind you sometimes, pretty girl. Can’t let everyone walk around thinking you’re not mine.”
“I wouldn’t mind a reminder. Some marks would be nice too,” you grin, biting at his lip while your hands stroke him slowly, your own knees buckling in excitement.
“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Brat.” James hoists your legs over his hips, slamming your back into the wall as you squeak. Sandwiched between the warmth of his body and the cold of the shower wall, your eyes roll back as he eases his cock between your dripping folds, moans falling from your lips when he sinks into you, inch by inch.
His girth always has a way of stretching you open, and every time feels like the first as he taps at your thigh reminding you to take deep breaths. Fuck the party, you could stay here all night.
“Fill you up so nicely…we’re almost there, good girl.” His voice shakes, wanting to slam the rest of him straight into your cervix.
Your hands are gripping his shoulders until you finally feel him nudge the deepest parts of you, and you sigh when it all fits. Perfect.
“Always so big Jamie. Almost too much.” He kisses your cheek, hips starting to create a rhythm as he mutters into your ear.
“Not too much for my girl. Just perfect. Perfect pussy for this cock. All for you,” he grits, skin sliding and slapping as your thighs get pressed into your chest with the intense force he’s plunging into your guts.
“James, fuck….fuck you’re so deep! Feels so fucking good!” Filthy whimpers leave you and he loves the sound of your desperation when he’s inside of you like this. Too bad there’s no one else here to hear it. If Steven could only see you now.
“Such a good cunt for me to use. Only mine.”
He gasps for air as his feet slip against the tile once more, his heavy breathing fogging up his glasses, and his hold on you just as tight as your grip on his cock. Shit. His heart almost fell through his ass.
Your eyes open to see him struggling and a giggle escapes your mouth as you watch the stupid fucked out look on his face.
“How do people even fuck in the shower? This shit’s dangerous. Don't wanna maim the Gryffindor captain again.”
Your laughter sends jolts down to his throbbing shaft and he shakes his head with a smile, parting the curtain with one hand before carrying you still impaled on him towards the metal benches, placing you down softly.
“At least you finally admit it was your fault, baby. Could barely see straight for a week after.”
He wipes his glasses between his fingers before gazing at you lying across the bench, legs spread and ready for him. What a woman.
“And here I am hoping that when you’re done with me I won’t be able to walk for a week after,” you breathe, hands squeezing your tits as his pupils dilate further at the sight of you. What a fucking witch!
“Fucking hell, you know I love you, right?”
James positions himself over you, kissing your ankle as he sheathes himself back into your sex, resuming his brutal pace and hurtling you quickly towards your peak.
“Y-yes! Merlin, fuck I… looove you!” you wail, hips rolling to meet his and his balls strike your ass hard with each thrust. Your insides are being shifted around with him spearing your cervix like this and there’s nothing in this world that you could name that’s able to compare to how he makes you feel.
Your pussy contracts as he somehow nestles himself deeper, body trembling in this position as he throws your left leg over his shoulder, lips chasing your nipples trying to suck the life out of you, and perhaps that was his plan so you could forget anyone else but him.
“Don’t you dare fucking stop, James. Don’t you fucking DARE!” you beg, clawing your way down his back, making him nip at you in pleasure as you draw pinpricks of blood.
The tight pressure of release starts creeping at your core, making you squirm under him but he pins your waist down harder to the bench, the metal leaving prints against your flesh. His hands press harder on your stomach, silently encouraging you to cum and you can feel the imprint of his dick bulging from inside your stomach.
“Don’t struggle for me baby, just let it go. I know you wanna cum…. That’s it.” James praises in a shattered breath, watching you writhe underneath him as he holds you close. Your legs are shaking as your vision goes black for a moment, cunt gushing with release and squirt coats his pubic hair as your eyes roll to the back of your head.
You lay there, catching your breath as the stars clear from your vision, and you look up at him stroking himself to the sight of you coming undone.
“Sheesh, look at the mess you made. You okay?”
“More than okay, Jamie. Need you to finish the job,” you tease, toes grazing the skin of his hip and he slaps at your thigh with a smile.
“Insatiable minx. Turn around then, ass up f’me.”
You do as he says, getting on all fours and showing him the perfect round of your asscheeks, covered in milky residue from your recent orgasm, but you turn to look at him when he doesn’t come near.
“Babe?”
His locker clinks open as he pulls a fresh jersey out, walking back to you and guiding it over your head and arms as you smile, pecking his cheek. Your silly boy. There was no way you actually thought you hated him this time last year with how sweet he really is. His large hand grazes the embroidered patches now resting on your back, POTTER, in huge white letters, CAPTAIN, now resting at the base of your spine.
James’ eyes drift lower and he hums at the sight of you perched on the bench, dropping his face to your throbbing holes and taking a long swipe with the flat of his tongue as he savors your taste along with the sounds of your whining. From your swollen clit to the ring of your asshole he’s languishing in a flavor that’s so uniquely you, and he pulls back, smacking his lips.
“Scrumptious. How are you hotter with clothes on?” James grins, taking a playful bite of an asscheek before he slaps it lightly and stuffs you deep, without any further hesitation. Your sarcastic reply is lost in a moan that makes your toes curl.
He works you open onto his cock again, your back arching desperately to be as close as possible and his hand presses you down, sliding up your spine until his fingers curl around strands of your hair. Tits swinging until they’re crushed against the bench, your face is smooshed as you mumble pathetically in his grasp.
“What was that baby? Can’t hear you well…” He spits at you, and if anyone could see this they’d know he was enjoying the sight of you at his mercy. He grinds his shaft against your walls, ramming against your g-spot and you drool like a mindless plaything, greedy for his attention.
“Right…right fucking there, ohmygod!” His cock pummels your cunt deliciously, hands spreading your cheeks wide and the stretch is so good, perfectly stroking the need in your belly.
“You’re so needy, pretty girl. You love it like this, huh? Good thing I fuck you so well, right?”
Merlin, this boy can pull orgasms out of you as well as he plays quidditch. He’s the only person in the world you’d gladly submit and be this pathetically cockdrunk for. Good thing he's yours.
“Yes…yes! So good Jamie. No one can fuck me like you….”
The white-hot sensation digs at your insides as his fingers fall to your clit, rubbing at you just the way you like as shockwaves shake every crevice of your being. He's breathing over your neck, hot air puffing and elevating your senses before they shut down completely.
“Yeah? Then come on my cock again right now. Show me you like it that much. Now.”
Your arms give out, falling completely forward as your body jerks in searing pleasure, pussy fluttering around his cock once more, so intensely. Your hands flail behind you until they find his, and he's pulling you up against his hard chest as he bounces you onto his length and chases his high.
“Give it to me, please, please… I can take it!” You’re screaming now, at the intersection between pain and pleasure but wanting to make sure you can milk him for his efforts. James’ thrusts stagger as he leans his head on your shoulder, biting you as he cums hard.
“I know you can, baby. All yours…” he chokes out.
Thick white ropes coat your insides, wrapping you tight around him like a present until the excess seeps out to the base of his cock. You kiss his temple as James starts to regulate his breathing.
“Fuck. Fuck….” you drag out, the two of you more winded than you were playing the damn game.
“I still have to return Steven’s jersey,” you mumble, and James can’t do anything but smirk at the thought of the clueless boy standing outside your House's locker room while he fucked you senseless a few doors over. What a shame.
—
The two of you walk hand in hand into the Gryffindor common room to a crowd of students cheering for James. The party is well underway and many hands clap his now injured back, to which his grimaces make you bite back a laugh. Speaking of bites….
Sirius walks up to you with two cups of punch, wide grey eyes zeroed in on you wearing James’s jersey and the glaring red marks of your boyfriend’s teeth on your neck.
“Merlin. I thought you two would take time to celebrate on your own but did you fucking attack her?”
You both take the cups out of his hands, searing blushes on your faces and leave Sirius to his own imagination before James whispers in your ear that he’ll be gone for a moment.
“Okay, but hurry back, baby.”
A peck on the lips sends him on his way to walk straight towards that wanker–er, Steven with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Potter! Have you seen–” the dumb boy says eagerly, before James cuts in, “Yeah, my girlfriend couldn’t meet you earlier, sorry mate.”
His hand digs into the undetectable extension charm in his knapsack, pulling out a soggy, ripped jersey.
“We were kind of busy, but you know how to fix that don’t you? You’ll need it to keep you warm on the bench for the rest of the season after all.”
It plops sadly onto the floor in front of the guy, and James looks at him, hazel eyes conveying what he knows he doesn’t have to remind him anymore.
“Thanks again! Appreciate you looking out for my girl.”
He walks away from Steven, who’s sputtering sad excuses and your eyes meet his as James finds you near the drinks table.
“What did you do?” You say with a lifted brow.
“Nothing, pretty girl. Just making known what’s mine.”
—
"you are pressing against me
like i press flowers
against the pages in my book.
you are kissing my neck
and it feels like the start of forever.
i want to touch you until my palms burn."
-amirae garcia
taglist (OPEN): @jsjcue
#james potter x reader#james potter x reader smut#guys i really lost the plot w this one#made by ma1dita ♥︎#marauders x reader#marauders era
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Hidden hearts and Hickey’s
In which Elle and JJ have been secretly dating for half a year and Elle comes to work not knowing she has hickeys on her which sparks the team to try and guess who Elle has been seeing. Elle gets injured during the case and doesn’t tell JJ. (18+ for smut)
word count: 4.4k
tags: fluff, smut (later on) , jelle, hickeys, dating, romance, secret dating, flirting, date night, love, staying at each other for the night, hotels, on a case, new relationship, team scenes, bi spencer reid, lesbian emily prentiss, lesbian elle greenaway, bi jennifer jareau, bath, cuddling, physical touch
Warning: foreplay (teasing), fingering, dirty talk
notes: I hope yall enjoy this is my first fic im posting here, I’ll also be posting on ao3 where my other fics are posted. Let me know if you want dts on my posts.
———————————————————❦—————————————————
Elle and JJ had been up late, later than usual when it was likely they’d have a case to work the next day but the women were watching a movie and after that finished Elle was quick to put on the next one claiming they had barely watched anything since they were making out and she needed something to fall asleep too. JJ knew it was nonsense, the woman just wasn’t tired yet but she was and she couldn’t be bothered to argue that to her after their night snuggled up together.
—
Elle groaned when she heard both her and JJ’s phones ring.
“If that’s work shoot me,” Elle covered her head with her pillow.
“Don’t say things like that,” JJ answered her phone, “It’s Hotch,” she mouthed to her.
Elle’s phone rang again, she got out of bed taking the phone with her into the next room. Calling her was Gideon.
She sighed as she walked back into the bedroom, “I’m tired I want to sleep,” she pouted at her girlfriend.
“I’m sorry the serial killers didn’t take a break, today babe, get ready we have 30 minutes till round table.”
Elle pulled a black long-sleeve top with a scooped neck out of the closet with some grey suit pants and black boots and JJ took the pants she wore yesterday with one of Elle’s cream v-neck sweaters that was similar to one of hers.
Elle packed her makeup bag, pyjamas, two changes of clothes, a book, glasses and her journal into her overnight bag having no idea how long they’d be there. She didn’t usually like going to work with no makeup on, and the eye bags weren’t going to look good that morning especially due to the lack of sleep the last few nights but they needed to leave.
JJ packed the same things as Elle minus some of the things she didn’t have with her. She hoped no one would realise that most of her clothes were Elle’s.
When they arrived they went through the bullpen and straight to the round table. No one was even there yet.
“You lied to me,” Elle frowned, “We had longer didn’t we?”
“If I had told you longer you would have tried to get back in bed,” JJ rolled her eyes.
“How are you so pretty you didn’t sleep long either,” Elle groaned putting her head down on the table.
Once the rest of the team had joined them, JJ got up to present and Elle finally sat up. It was only once she was standing at the front looking at Elle she noticed a faint hickey in the middle of her neck and a more prominent one on the top part of her breast that wasn’t quite covered by her top.
JJ looked into Elle’s eyes then moved her head down to see if Elle would get the hint and look but she didn’t the older woman was just looking at her blankly and confused.
Derek picked up on the look JJ was giving her and looked down at her chest, “Long night Elle?”
“Huh?” Elle looked down at her chest and then around the room at her team. She looked down at the table as a faint blush covered her cheeks.
“Elle’s got a boyfriend?” Spencer asked.
“No, Elle dates women she’s got a girlfriend, right Elle?” Penelope smiled clasping her hands together, “I’m so happy for you sweet!”
“No I… Isn’t there a case? JJ? Talk.”
“Elle you can tell us we’re your friends,” Spencer said.
“Leave her alone, we don’t have much time,” Hotch said before looking at her and pointing at the mark, “Cover that.”
“Yes sir,” Elle mumbled looking up at him but meeting Gideon and Rossi’s stares, she groaned quietly looking back down they were both like father figures to her. How did both her and JJ not notice it was there?
JJ explained their case before Hotch let them know that wheels up would be in 15 minutes. Once everyone filtered out Elle and JJ stayed behind.
“I’m sorry Elle, I didn’t even notice we were so rushed this morning,” JJ played with a curl at the end of Elle’s hair that she didn’t have time to straighten which the younger woman was happy about, she loved Elle’s curls.
“What are you sorry about?” Spencer asked from the doorway making JJ and Elle jump apart from each other.
“Oh nothing, I just,” JJ paused trying to think of something believable, “I dropped her coffee on one of her files when we got here.”
“What didn’t you notice then?” Spencer asked.
“Genius go play nice with the others we will be out in a minute,” Elle gave him a warm smile.
—
“Guys, do you think maybe Elle is dating JJ?” Spencer asked the others while fiddling with a Rubix cube.
“I don’t think blondes are her type,” Emily said.
“What do you know?” Derek pointed at Emily.
“Elle and I hooked up in DC a long time ago,” Emily shrugged.
“Why does that mean she wouldn’t be with JJ maybe she doesn’t have a type,” Penelope stated.
“Elle likes blondes,” Derek said.
“And you know how?” Emily asked.
“We go out to bars together but before that she had turned me down for months.”
Garcia looked up at the small window that could be seen inside the room with the round table from the bullpen. It was a bad view but she could how close the two were and how JJ’s palm was resting on Elle’s face, “Guys,” she whispered pointing at the window, “Do you think they are?”
“I think you should give them some damn privacy,” Rossi spoke walking down the steps to where the team were standing.
“Do you know something?” Derek asked.
“Of course he does! Elle is like a daughter to him, tell us!” Penelope squealed.
“I know nothing and neither should you quit being gossips Hotch wants you on the jet,” he shook his head walking to the elevator.
“We could watch how they act with each other during the case?” Penelope suggested.
“If they want to keep it a secret chances are they will keep their usual domineering with each other hence why we haven’t noticed thus far. They share a room when we are on a case so they probably feel like they can go the day without any physical contact because once back at the hotel they can do as they please,” Spencer ‘observed.’
“Yeah we got that Genius,” Morgan ruffled his hair standing from Elle’s desk where he had perched himself.
“Emily and I will be next door to them, we could listen through the wall?” Penelope suggested.
“You by all means can do that PG but I won’t be it feels like we are breaking their trust and I do not want to hear something I don’t particularly want to hear,” Emily replied.
“You think they’ll have sex!” Penelope said rather loud causing a few people to look up from what they were doing and a blush to rise up Spencer’s neck and face.
“What are you guys talking about?” JJ asked as she and Elle came down the stairs, Elle’s hand resting over JJ’s shoulder.
“Nothing!”
“Well it’s not nothing since the whole floor just heard you,” Elle laughed but dropped it walking towards the elevator with JJ, the rest of them following.
—
The team, mainly Garcia observed JJ and Elle every time they were near each other whether it was just how they looked at each other as they spoke or the small touches they shared.
Once they had finished up for the day they took the SUVs to the hotel close by. Elle climbed out and went to the other side opening and holding the door open for JJ.
“Why thank you, what a gentlewoman,” JJ laughed, Elle joining in with her. She carried hers and JJ’s bags into the hotel as JJ held onto her arm.
At the reception desk the team checked into their rooms, “Could we have a bottle of champagne brought to our room in let’s say,” Elle paused to check her watch, “just over an hour please?”
“What are we celebrating?” JJ asked.
“6 months.”
“That’s today?” JJ frowned, “I’m sorry I forgot, I’ll make it up to you.”
Elle whispered in JJ’s ear, “I’m sure you will after dinner, I made a reservation and I plan on us drinking the champagne in the bath.”
JJ whispered back, “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
“What’s the whispering about dolls?” Penelope asked.
“Nothing,” JJ replied.
“A lot of nothing between you both recently sugar.”
“Sorry PG we need to get to the room I’m shattered,” Elle faked a yawn walking towards the elevator.
-
“What restaurant are we going to?” JJ asked flopping onto the bed as they entered the hotel room.
“The fanciest one I could find around here that was willing to seat two FBI agents last minute,” Elle perched next to her.
“Babe we have nothing fancy to wear.”
“You underestimate me,” Elle said taking a long satin cream skirt and light pink tight-fitted shirt from her overnight bag, “For you and mine is a surprise.”
“I love you,” JJ mumbled against Elle’s lips before kissing her.
JJ had her outfit on and was about to start her hair and makeup. The women took it in turns so they were never trying to do the same thing at once.
Elle stood from the small vanity in their room in just her underwear, her girlfriend was looking out of the window just while she waited for Elle to finish her last curl before she started. Elle crept up behind her, her hands sliding onto JJ’s hips gripping them firmly.
“Elle!” JJ shrieked placing a hand on her chest.
“Sorry baby, I’m sorry,” Elle moved her hands and used her arms to wrap around her in a hug from behind.
JJ held onto Elle’s arms for a few minutes both of them in silence before she turned to face as best she could, “Go get dressed.”
“Okay, one second,” Elle squeezed her a little tighter, “Now I will,” she let her go and went into the bathroom to change not wanting JJ to see her dress until they were both ready to leave.
JJ knocked on the bathroom door when she finished straightening her hair, “Babe are you alright?”
“Are you ready?” Elle asked back.
“Yeah I’m ready, are you?”
“Mhm, I’ve been waiting in here so you wouldn’t see my dress,” Elle said sliding the bathroom door open revealing the silky black skin-tight dress she had been waiting to show JJ.
“Wow baby,” JJ walked closer to her and kissed her lips, “You’re gorgeous.”
Elle blushed a little putting out her hand, “M’lady.”
JJ laughed taking Elle’s hand, “Let’s go.”
Their door hadn’t even closed properly before the door of the room beside them opened. Garcia poked her head out of the door looking them up and down.
“You guys are going out? I thought you were tired. Why aren’t Emily and I going to?”
“Leave them alone,” Emily called from inside the room.
“But Em look at them,” Penelope sulked as Emily came to the door, “They are so pretty.”
“Thanks, Pen,” Elle said and JJ just smiled at her, “We are just grabbing dinner, nothing fancy.”
“Nothing fancy? Sunshine have you seen what you’re both wearing?” Penelope pushed her glasses onto her face which had begun to fall down.
“What’s with the interrogating today?” Elle groaned, “We’ve got a reservation,” she placed her hand on the small of JJ’s back and they both walked in the direction of the elevator.
“They’re cute,” Emily shrugged.
“Do think she’s mad at me?” Penelope frowned.
“No, but you have been particularly stalker-y today, I know you just want them to be happy but you’re a gossip Pen. If they are together and haven’t told us there is obviously a reason.”
“They should trust us, we’re a team.”
“They could be separated if they told Strauss,” Emily said.
“Oh, right then we wouldn’t be a team.”
-
The restaurant Elle had picked was of course Italian, her favourite cuisine. Elle ordered a pasta dish and JJ ordered a pizza and they both shared each other’s food.
“It feels longer than six months,” JJ said.
“It does, I have loved every day a little bit more for the last six months,” Elle reached across the table holding her hand.
“They definitely know,” JJ said.
“I think we are going to have to say something after this case.”
“I love what we have with each other I wasn’t ready to share it yet,” JJ frowns.
“We don’t have to confirm anything yet if you aren’t ready.”
“But it’s silly not to it’s obvious they know.”
Elle just nodded running her fingertips on her hand.
The women finished dinner and headed back to the hotel hand in hand only letting each other go when they entered the hotel lobby. On the opposite side of the reception was a small bar area.
“Drink?” Elle asked JJ pointing over at the bar.
“Just one,” JJ smiled, “I want to take you back to our room,” she whispered.
Elle smirked, "Let's be quick then."
“I’m just going to the bathroom,” JJ said after they got their drinks leaving a discreet kiss on Elle’s cheek since Derek was across the bar flirting with two different women. “I’ll be two minutes don’t miss me too much,” She grabbed the key card and flashed her a smile before walking away, Elle watching her until she disappeared into the elevator.
“Is she good?”
“Excuse me?” Elle said turning to face the stool beside her where JJ was once sitting, the seat now taken by Derek.
“I know you and JJ are sleeping together baby girl,” Derek smirked.
“Who I sleep with is none of your business,” Elle sipped on her drink.
“You know who I sleep with,” Derek shrugged, “We are friends.”
Elle sighed, “Because you tell me, Derek.”
“You used to tell me everything.”
“Some things have to be kept a secret. If my partner doesn’t want to share something I will respect that.”
“So she’s your girlfriend?” Derek smiled, “Elle I want you to be happy if JJ makes you happy then that’s great.”
Elle mumbles, “Yes she makes me happy, please don’t tell anyone else now go away before she comes back.”
Derek stands up and kisses the top of Elle’s head, “I’m proud of you Elle.”
A few tears pricked in her eyes as she got up from the stool wrapping her arms around his stomach and burying her head in his neck a couple of the tears falling. No one had said that to her in a while but it was always him who reminded her, “I love you Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan,” she grinned at him when she looked up.
“I love you, Elle,” He rubbed his hand up and down her back.
“What’s going on? Is he your boyfriend?” The woman Derek had been talking to at the bar asked Elle.
She wiped her tears and laughed, “No he’s not my boyfriend, we are friends.”
“You better not be one of those steal-my-man friends,” she glared threatening Elle.
“Woah woah, settle down. Elle’s a lesbian,” Derek spoke to the woman.
“No, I’m not?” Elle replied.
“You’re not?” Derek asked.
“No… I don’t think so? I guess maybe I am.” Elle shrugged she never exactly labeled anything she just knew she liked women, “Whatever, I have a girlfriend I don’t want ‘your man’,” Elle rolled her eyes sitting back down just before JJ came back.
“Can we take our drinks to our room?” Elle asked the bartender.
He nodded in response.
“Care to join me?” Elle spoke in a husky voice to JJ.
“Oh, I’m so coming,” JJ smiled.
The women went back to their room with their drinks. Elle really needed to sleep with the lack of sleep from the night before and it was very likely they’d have to catch the killer tomorrow she needed sleep, and she needed to be on her A-game but she wanted more than anything to pleasure her girlfriend and take a warm bath with her.
“Bath?” Elle asked as they entered the room.
“Please baby,” JJ smiled Elle took such good care of her.
Elle ran them a warm bath it wasn’t as nice as the ones they’d have at her apartment with candles and lavender bubble bath but it was something. She clipped her hair up and slipped her dress off hanging it on the back of the bathroom door.
“Jay, it’s ready will you bring my drink through babe,” Elle called out.
JJ didn’t answer she just waltzed in a few minutes later having taken most of her clothes off in the bedroom with each of their cocktails in hand.
“You’re so gorgeous,” Elle said from the bath.
JJ took off all she was left in which was just her underwear, and climbed into the tub sitting in between Elle’s legs, her back against Elle’s chest.
Elle placed a kiss on JJ’s shoulder before moving all of her girlfriend’s light blonde hair over to one side so she’d have access to massage the woman’s shoulders.
JJ moaned, Elle was good at massages especially because she always knew where JJ was most tense in her shoulders and always hit the right spots.
Elle worked her way down her back as best she could considering how close to each other they were to one another.
JJ’s eyes were closed enjoying the feeling that Elle gave her. Her soft breaths made the brunette smile. She moved her hands to JJ’s thighs her thumbs pressing on the inside of her thighs as she massaged.
“Oh baby,” JJ let out a sigh of pleasure.
“Tell me I make you feel good Jay,” Elle whispered into her ear.
“You know you make me feel good, better than anyone ever has,” JJ replied.
Elle’s hands travelled further up on her thighs, “Keep going princess,” she ran her fingertips closer to her centre.
JJ’s breathing pattern began to change the more Elle was turning her on, “No one has ever touched me like you do Elle you make me come so fast.”
Elle’s lips found the side of JJ’s neck, “That’s right baby you deserve to be loved like that.”
“Thank you,” JJ’s voice trembled a little. Elle was intimidating and she wasn’t used to doing things like this before Elle she never would have said anything like that to anyone but she could see how much it turned the older woman on so she was always happy to do it for her.
Elle’s fingers found her centre, she was gentle and loving as she lightly ran her fingertips over her mound.
JJ moaned quietly, “That feels nice, Elle.”
“Good,” Elle slowly dragged her fingers in circles over her clit leaving kisses on her shoulder and neck at the same time.
Every so often Elle would circle JJ’s entrance with one finger but never push it in fully it was purely for the purpose of teasing the younger woman.
She kept at what she doing until it pushed JJ over the edge. The woman breathless and moaning softly finished gripping Elle’s arm.
“You were so good baby,” Elle tipped her head back and kissed her lips.
“But now we have to get out,” JJ pouted, “This always happens.”
“We can go in the shower,” Elle stood from the bath and climbed out before helping her girlfriend up and out with her legs still shaking a little.
Everyone was awake early the next morning to finish up and case and get back to Quantico before the afternoon. The case was closed by 11 am. The killer was shot in the field after he had lunged at Elle and Spencer with a knife.
Elle was trying to avoid JJ, not in a bad way just in an ‘I need some personal space way’ Derek had told her what happened in the field minus the part that the man had nicked a small cut on Elles's arm before he was shot down. She could easily hide the small bandage under her long-sleeved shirt but JJ was still upset that Elle was in danger today and she therefore didn’t want to leave her alone for a second.
On the plane, Elle had taken a seat on the long sofa, she would go to sleep soon but in roughly an hour she had to just check the cut.
JJ sat next to Elle almost on her lap and in the process leant on her arm.
“Ouch! fucking hell,” Elle rolled her eyes moving away from JJ a fraction.
“Ouch? What happened?” JJ grabbed Elle's arm lightly and tugged the sleeve of Elle’s top up to reveal the bandage with a small blood stain, “Explain.”
“It’s not that bad, when we caught the unsub, Derek told you he came towards Spencer and me with a knife but he didn’t tell you that the knife nicked me before he was shot, but it was only a scrape,” Elle said shrugging it off.
“Baby,” JJ whispered so no one else on the plane would hear the nickname, “Why didn’t you tell me?” She frowned.
“You were already so clingy Jay I just didn’t want to worry you more.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t like you being in danger or getting hurt.”
“I know,” Elle really wanted to throw a pet name on the end of that but Hotch was close by now at the kitchenette next to the sofa. She patted her lap and JJ laid her head down.
The brunette's fingers tangled into the blonde hair soothing her girlfriend while JJ’s fingers played with the hem of Elle’s shirt. It was a rather intimate moment for them despite the team being close by.
Penelope groaned, “Just tell everyone you’re dating!”
Elle glared at Derek her fingers coming to a standstill in JJ’s hair almost like she’d froze.
“What? I didn’t say anything,” Derek folded his arms.
“You knew something?!” Penelope’s mouth dropped open as she turned to Derek, “You’re a traitor Derek Morgan.”
JJ sat up leaning closer to Elle whispering in her ear, “Just tell them, we will deal with anything Hotch says later.”
Elle offered her a weak smile bringing her hands to her lips, “Yes, JJ and I are dating. We’ve been together for a while but we wanted to keep it a secret so it wouldn’t affect work.”
“How long?” Aaron asked his face remaining straight, not showing whether he was happy for them or angry at them.
“Half a year,” Elle replied.
“Seriously that long?” Penelope gasped, “Oh my babies I love you both so so much.”
JJ laughed, “It really doesn’t feel like that long but at the same time it feels like longer, we love you too Pen.”
Penelope hugged both of them tightly, “This must be why you both glow like the sunshine you’re both so happy and shiny.”
“Do you live together? I see you leave together sometime,” Emily asked suddenly rather interested in how she missed this.
JJ shook her head, “Not yet.”
Elle smiled edging closer to JJ. She leaned her head down and placed a small kiss on her shoulder.
“We will talk when we get back,” Gideon pointed at them and Hotch.
“Yes Dad,” Elle grinned. Elle called him dad so much now that Jason doesn’t even bother correcting her anymore.
JJ’s eyes landed on Spencer in the corner of the play his face scrunched in confusion, something that didn’t happen often, “What’s wrong Spence?”
“I was so sure Elle had a boyfriend.”
“Spencer, are you okay with me having a girlfriend?” Elle raised an eyebrow.
“Of course!” He said quickly, “I think I’m the same as you.. or similar? But I’m never wrong that’s the problem.”
“Man you probably just don’t pick up on how Elle stares at the ladies, no need to worry,” Derek laughed.
Elle rolled her eyes at Derek, “What do you mean you’re the same as me, Spence?”
“Oh,” his face flushed red.
“It’s fine we will talk later. Don’t think too much about it you’ll always be a genius.”
The rest of the flight, Hotch, Gideon and Rossi stared intensely at piles of paperwork they needed to fill out, Derek tried teasing Spencer to get him talking about what he had started to tell Elle, and Emily did sudokus with a coffee in her hand, Penelope drew kittens, rainbows and a few hearts with a ship name she had created for her friends inside and Elle and JJ cuddled against each other on the planes sofa, dozing off a few times.
Aaron, Dave and Jason waited in the office for Elle and JJ, they agreed to come through once everyone had gone home so as not to cause as much attention.
Once they had left, Elle and JJ went up the steps to the office. Elle’s hand was placed on JJ’s lower back as they went. The brunette held the door open while JJ walked inside, herself following close behind.
“I would like to start by saying, neither JJ nor I want to be moved. Our relationship hasn’t been a problem thus far and it will continue to not be a problem,” Elle said folding her arms.
“I understand Elle but you both should have come to me when this was starting up.”
“Then on your records, you pretend this is the start, no one besides us or the rest of the team will know otherwise,” Elle suggested.
“That would make sense,” JJ added.
“We will discuss it tonight, both of you go home. Talk about it together and if you want to continue with your relationship then you’ll have paperwork to sign first thing tomorrow,” Hotch said taking a seat behind his desk.
“Well I hope she wants to continue our relationship it’s been six months already,” Elle laughed looking down at JJ.
JJ looked up into her eyes, “Of course I do.”
“That’s sorted then we will be happy to sign your papers tomorrow,” Elle said before she and JJ headed for the door.
“And Elle,” Gideon called, “I’m glad JJ makes you happy.”
Elle smiled before Rossi added, “We are all happy for the both of you.”
#criminal minds#elle greenaway#lola glaudini#elle greenaway x jennifer jareau#jelle#emily prentiss x elle greenaway#jennifer jareau#prentaway#aj cook#elle greenaway aesthetic#elle greenaway x reader#spencer reid#bi spencer reid#lesbian emily prentiss#emily prentiss#derek morgan#penelope garcia#aaron hotchner#david rossi#jason gideon#ao3 fanfic#fanfic#fluff
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Sorry this is kinda long.... I would have liked to share this in the discord server, it's a more private way, but then the lockdown happened and I don't think I can wait any longer to show this.
Ok so.... Yesterday night, I got a bit emotional over my life and a little reflecting on what has happened the past month or so and how it affected me and all [10khaos, maggots discord sv, 15khaos, apocalypselockdown, among others] (as I always do, I'm such a soft-ass (I do hope that made up word doesn't mean anything flirty I'm trying to lowkey insult myself in here tyvm English)) And so as I always do when emotions hit, I wrote a poem-kinda-thing.
I showed it to @lxvenderjewel and @falling-raine and this happened
And later @the-beard-of-edward-teach saw it and well....
I made changes to it since I showed it to them, but it's for better, trust me.
(the poem is at the bottom of the post woo)
I think that's enough of a warning for y'all. But just in case, this made people cry, this poem, it's very very dear to me in levels I can't write I can't explain I can't put into poems all the feelings and stuff, but I hope this poem makes up for the most part.
Be careful. I love you.
Thank you @the-beard-of-edward-teach @arkytiorlecter @voids-ideas @orpiknight @cawdra @apollos-dodgeball-target @obsessed-sketches @zonzolik @dashoulinas-fandom-dump @eybefioro @queermarzipan @lxvenderjewel @ivory--raven @styx142 @myfranticscribbles @empressumbreon @frogs-go-ribbit @thearoacemess @goodomensduh @sounds-void-fishy @arkytiorlecter @random-doctor-on-the-internet @apophid-I-eat-everything @achilles-in-a-blanket-burrito @hello-ello-ello @harbinger-of-existential-dread @howmanyholesinswisscheese @an-ace-on-the-case @goblin-named-sam @1800ineedshelp @chaoticgenderflood @ivory--raven @aroaceblackhole @three-smiles-and-a-unicorn @coppicegate @zonzolik @falling-raine @dashoulinas-fandom-dump @koboldkatalyst @arkytiorlecter @friday-im-in-love-with-crowley @good-usernames-were-taken @weirdly-specific-but-ok THANK YOU THANK YOU ILY (oh wow that's a lot of ppl) (PLS PLS tell me if I forgot anyone there's so many of you, SORRY IF I TAGGED YOU TWICE AAA AND I'M SORRY IF YOU WERE TAGGED AND DUNNO WTF I AM I GOT LOST WITH THE TAGS AAAA AND SORRY IF I TAGGED U AND THE TAG DIDN'T WORK)
I love you all so so so so so so so much, you're so dear to me. Thank you. This is a gift for you.
Demons Out.
There's a hell outside,
Demonic screaming,
Trees, fall's leaving.
And I'm just here inside,
In my bubble.
Trapped inside me,
Trapped in myself.
There's demons out,
Asking to come.
But I won't let them,
I'm not alone.
Inside myself,
Inside my world,
I've got most people
Than all of your's.
They're worth more
Than any gold,
And they're far way,
More beautiful
Than any Sun,
Than any Star,
They are right here,
They are right now.
They're my comfort,
And some my loss,
But they're all lovely
Precious along.
They're the most
Amazing
Beings to exist,
And so I'm afraid
That they'll all be missed.
Because I fear
One day they'll go,
That's why I start
To sing a song.
Please let us all
Become real friends,
Please let us all
Reunite again.
There's demons out,
Angels inside.
There's me in-between
Caring for (them) all
Please let us all
Reunite again.
There's demons out.
And I'm in pain,
But not too much,
We'll find a way.
There's demons out,
We are in pain.
But I will start
To sing again.
I care for each
And every of you,
So then I start
To sing a song.
Please let us all
Reunite again.
There's demons out.
We'll try again.
#idk#I hope this finds you all well lovely maggots#you're all amazing#ily#ilysm y'all#poetry#little written poem#small written poem#apocalypselockdowm#apocalypselockdown#lockdownapocalypse#the maggots#the official maggots server of doom#have a nice day or nght
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tldr: the story of how i figured out im gay and why i relate to byler so much. aka why its good rep
this was not supposed to be this long
my best friend doesnt like stranger things bc she thinks the metaphorical texture of the show is gross feeling(valid) but she follows me on here and has had to block the byler tag bc its all i post about these days and shes not into it.
anyways it made me think about why i love byler so much and it definitely has to do with the fact that as a queer person i relate super heavily to their story. being gay is way more acceptable now and i was born in 07 so its not like its was considered a death sentence to be gay in general. however i grew up in the classical church. my mom was part of a religious cult in highschool and i was my parents first kid and they were super protective of me. Im also autistic and i spent most of my childhood very worried about doing and acting the right way to make people accept me. my parents favorite story to tell people about my childhood is that when i finally graduated my crib and got a toddler bed they were worried that i would never let them sleep again. that didnt happen tho, in fact i refused to get out of bed with out express permission and would lay there until they came told me i could get up.
id like to say that i was homophobic growing up but not in the traditional sense. it was more that i was actually afraid of gay people. No one around me ever really said anything blatantly homophobic or had radical ideas about the subject but we were so deep into the church and i was always afraid of everything. when i was in elementary school we would do drills. call and response cult like stuff. theyd ask us to define sin and wed spout off this memorized line about going agaisnt gods will in action or thought or intention. i didnt even know what a gay meant until i got to middle school and the entire idea terrified me. because thats not allowed and when someone brings it up all the adults get that one look on their face and the pastor says that homosexuality is a sin or wtv.
i had this one friend, lets call her jane, at the time. i really liked her but she was kind of a delinquent, she didnt have the best home life and she was kind if an angry kid so when she came out to our friend group as bisexual in i think 7th grade, we (the rest of the group was v religious ) were concerned about it but not really surprised. we werent supportive but we werent angry either. it was more like we werent sure what to do. she had always been a problem child so it didnt seem to out of the blue for someone like her to like girls so we just kind of tried not to talk about it again.
I was a pretty big drama kid at the time( still am) (i swear i have a point to this) and i became friends with this one girl. lets call her belle. anyways i reallllyyyy liked belle i dont think i had a crush on her but i thought she was really cool and fun and liked hanging around her. we werent really close much to my past and present dismay but when i did hang out with her i always had a fun time. a few years later she told me that she was bisexual. this pretty much broke my little brain. because belle was cool and fun and normal and it was the first time when i realized that maybe there was something wrong with the way my church worked. they had to be wrong because there was no way belle was evil and going to hell. i loved being friends with her and i couldn't accept the fact that her liking girls changed anything. she still felt like the same person. still the topic was terrifying to me, i was so afraid that i was wrong or maybe just not smart enough to see the truth. so many people around me that i grew up being told knew what was right, knew what god was telling us said that it was wrong so maybe i just didnt get it. maybe i wasnt close enough to god to understand what made gay people so bad. still something changed from then and the next year i ended up being close to this girl, lets call her beth, (all my other friends had either moved on or were on different sides of our grade and tbh i was terrified of her but i had no one else). Anyways beth also had a crazy homelife she talked a lot about how she hated her family and how she would kill her dad if she could. she also ate highlighters, just drew on her tongue, and sold pictures of her feet on instagram to make money. needless to say as soon as i hit highschool i never spoke to her again, she freaked me out. anyway one day me and beth were walking at recess and she turns to me and tells me that im gay. i knew she was pan at this point and i didnt really care though looking back on it she was definitely flirting with me. I got freaked out and told her there was no way i was gay and assumed that she just wanted me to like her back but id had a crush on a guy before so i couldnt be gay.
speaking of this guy, he sat next to belle in my science class in 6th grade. i sat behind them and they were good friends. we were sort of a trio in that class and i thought he was really nice and funny. he was the first guy id ever been friends with and i assumed that the fact that i enjoyed hanging out with him and having fun meant that i must have a crush on him. because girls and boys cant just be friends. thats what everyone always said at least. one day we were texting and he told me that he liked me and wanted to go out. i csnt describe the feeling i got then. it was this werid mix of anxiety and fear and knowing that i should be excited but instead i was disappointed. and i didnt know why. i told him i wasnt allowed to date til 16 and if he still wanted me then whe could date then. i cried about it for almost a year. which doesnt make any sense because i rejected him not the other way around. but i felt heartbroken. im still not really sure why.
when beth told me i was gay i p much told her to f off in the most good christian way possible but i still thought about it. the idea felt so overwhelming and i couldnt think about it without wanting to have a panic attack so i stopped thinking about it. then i had a gay dream about jane and honestly i should have figured it out then but somehow i completely disregarded.
i changed schools for high school so i was with a lot of new people. i wanted a fresh start. at the time i felt like id been pretending to be someone else for my whole life and i hoped that starting over would help me find myself or something. I always sort of knew i was different from other kids i never felt like we had much in common or something but i could never put a finger of what it was (it was the autism). when i started highschool my main goal was to make friends on my own and conquer my social anxiety when had been crippling throughout middle and elementary. i ended up meeting this girl, lets call her cassie, (so many people ikik) and we became super close. she had a lot of issues as well bc apparently i attract unstable people. she was by far the worst id dealt with though. she was suicidal, ocd, anorexic and hurt her self a lot. it was a very codependent friendship but we were attached at the hip. she was my whole world at the time, nothing else really mattered more than her not killing herself. one day we were texting after midnight and she told me that she thought she might be bisexual and i told her a didnt care. i really didnt care i was more worried about her killing herself. she said she had a crush on someone but wouldnt tell me who and i let the topic die.
then heartstopper came out on netflix and i got DEAD sick. i couldnt even speak. it was very bad. anyways i had a computer at this point and was looking for something to watch. i settled on heartstopper because id heard so many good things about it and i was morbidly( at the time) curious. i watched the entire show in one sitting. i was scared my mom would find out and when she did find out she gave me this hesitant look and said she didnt love the idea of me watching that kind of stuff. i watched it anyways. i was mesmerized dude. the scene of nick nelson in his bedroom, on the verge of tears searching the internet for anwsers was so powerful to me and it was like something clicked in my brain.
what if i am gay??
id never let myself actually ask mysrlf that before. id never dared to even think it was a possibility because of course im straight. id know if i liked girls. but i sat there dead sick and dying slowly and looked over at my book case at all my favorite books. i looked up on youtube how to tell if your bisexual (bc ofc i like guys duh) and it said something about thinking about how you feel about fictional characters and i sat and i thought. it was a very overwhelming week. i thought back to middle school and the strange possessiveness i had over my best friend at the time, the feeling of hurt i always seemed to have when she hung out with someone else. i hated that part of myself. i felt validated in my feelings at the time but i never knew why i felt that way and it felt unfair to her.
at the time i was talking to a guy. he was nice and pretty chill but i sort of knew i didnt like him the way he liked me. i wanted to though. i wanted to like him so freaking badly. so i kept taking to him. id be on the phone with him for 5 hours just talking about nothing and tell myself that this was what its like to like someone. it wasnt a bad experience, he was nice and i liked to talk to him. but i didnt have feelings for him. one night i texted cassie back and told her that maybe i was bi too. she was from a christian household too and we talked for a while one what we should do.
my parents have always had this policy of being honest with each other when sometbing happens in our lives. which i think is pretty normal but my autistic ahh took it very seriously. almost as soon as i started questioning i told them. bad idea, was not ready. i was so scared that somehow theyd look at me and figure out that i was thinking about it, and that theyd be mad that i didnt talk to them about it. i said it at dinner and there was legit forks dropped. my mom took me on a 2 hour long walk to try and explain myself which was HELL because i couldnt even understand what was going on.
"why do you think you like girls??"
"idk"
they eventually dropped the subject.
soon after that me and cassies relationship started to get werid. after being so codependent for so long we had thsi strange sort of toxic need for each other to be sane or something. she confessed that she had a crush on me and i really wasnt sure how to feel about it. she was so important to me and the trauma and confusion and drama of our friendship got all jumbled in my head and we fell into some sort of homo romantic something. we never did anything besides holding hands a few times, but we did that before either of us came out anyways. we went to summer camp summer after freshmen year and shit really hit the fan and we ended up having a friendship breakup. she told me afterwards that she was a devoted christian now, that god had saved her from herself and that now she was straight. i was really lost the rest of that summer. i wasnt sure what to do at all, who i was or what i was supposed to do now that i left the person i had dedicated the past year of my life and my mental health too. i was really suicidal for a few months after that but slowly i got better.
second semester of sophomore year i had my first real crush on one of my close friends at the time. she was straight which sucked but those 6 months of my life were some of the most terrible exhilarating experiences of my life. thats how i knew i wasnt wrong. bc theres no heterosexual option for wanting to make out with a girl in a dirty school bathroom stall.
it was hard though, being in love with someone you know will never feel that way about you. even if at the time i had mostly gotten over the majority of my internalized homophobia theres still that feeling of guilt. you feel so gross and creepy and unwanted. this person doesnt want you, they dont even want your gender but you cant let it go. its a very lonely feeling.
it was around the same time that i figured out that i was a lesbian. after i felt what it was like to like someone, really like someone. to be able to identify that feeling as romantic feelings, it was pretty obvious that i didnt like guys. i felt really bad about the guy i was talking too. he had no idea and id just heen leading him on for almost a year. i felt super shitty about it.
idk if that was coherent but i guess thats why i love byler so much. it feels so raw and real to me. i watch the van scene and i see myself. i see how hard it was and how much i hated myself and wanted so badly to be normal and to be able to talk about boys with my friends without feeling uncomfortable. i see the way mike is with el and i see myself with that boy from middle school. so desperate for affection and so so confused. this feeling of guilt and regret, the heartbreak of loosing someone that you couldve had but you dont want. i want to want it but i dont and its so heartbreaking.
i almost think its a worse feeling that being broken up with. i fell in love with a girl recently and she ended up ending things. i was super upset about it cried for a long time. but still. its not the same hurt. it hurts but its not the same deep primal hurt. sitting on my bathroom floor at 13 years old sobbing my eyes out because im not with a boy that i rejected. wishing that things were different but not wanting to actually change. i broke my own heart and i didnt even mean too
#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#byler endgame#byler nation#byler tumblr#byler is canon#wlw#lgbtqplus#lgbtqia#lgbtq community#lgbtq#lgbtqiia+#lgbtq positivity#queer community#coming out#lesbian moment#lesbian community#lesbianism#long post#text post#this was so long dude what
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hello i was tagged by @18minutemajor for WIP Wednesday. it is not Wednesday but i am also not a cop so . here we gooo!!!!!!! tagging my esteemed colleagues (very politely and with no pressure!!!):
@neonfretra @oensible @sorrellegiance @moregraceful @stereax
@wheelsnipecelebrini
@korshrimpski (EDIT: it won’t?? let me tag you. unless these are on separate lines <3)
what's in-progress in your life <3 writing? art? recipe? skill acquisition?
if any crafty people see this - if ANYONE sees this - and would like to join in, feel free and consider yourself tagged <3 (and tag me back so i can see your stuff!!!) link to 18minutemajor's post if yall curious :3 my VERY long wip dump + ramblings under the cut!
its christmas soon and i like to paint gifts for my friends + and i'm finally revisiting my anime/lineart/inking era (here you are K!! my lineart past, present, and future!! <3) so here are some things i've been working on/coming back to/MAY NEVER FINISH: hockey related:
this is juraj slafkovsky and his dinky little middle part which he can absolutely learn to style into something a little less dinky but never does. i am so charmed by him. i imagine he just rocks it because his pretty privilege supersedes dinky middle parts . LMAO!!
here is Sasuke from my Naruto Hockey AU. I am a little stuck on jersey mockups lol. here he is. our haunted little 1OA who is absolutely normal and regular about his captain (LOUD incorrect buzzer):
personal oc art
wanna know some puckpocketed deep lore? i've never been one to make OCs. i was just not a very creative kid tbh. spent all my time drawing sailor moon instead. i still go back to her sometimes because she is one of my favourite shapes in the WORLD!!
in my 20s i took up playing d&d because of the. uh. plague. <3 and got pretty close to having OCs!! those count right? anyway. here is my tavern-wench-turned-wizard!!! i think i painted this 2 years ago? <- put dates on your works guys it saves lives. her name is Mel (short for Melins (pronounced like melons. on account of her knockers. can you tell i never grew out of my 12 yr old booby/cock joke era?) i revisited Mel recently and have started painting her in earnest again!! :3
I briefly dated someone who was very into streetwear and fashion, and I fell down a techwear/gorpcore/cyberpunk rabbit hole for a couple days out of curiosity. i remember literally zero salient info on any of it except the broad strokes of silhouetting and Vibes. what i emerged with, however, was a ?? sorta OC?? im not sure what to call them. they dont rly have a name or gender. I did this little sheet ages ago + the aborted attempt at a portrait later:
Here are my most recent explorations (i have been doing SOOOO much art. <3) which include:
unfinished character sheet + chibi art. I played with their jacket (much more structured/square/tailored thing) and added a lotta random buckles and belts. i took textiles class years ago and have a little experience in garment construction. and i know for a fact this thing does not make any sense. it hurts me to look at a little bit LMAO so i've paused it while i go draft patterns (badly. i was never good at drafting. i think i may have to break out my scrap fabric stash and hand sew a real life mock-up. HELP!)
here is me having fun with them and imagining them as some kind of cyber-fisherman. the best part of every game is the fishing mini-game to me. i love fishing mini-games so much. I made their hair really big because i wanted them to have big unwieldy hair and the vibes told me i should add more movement to the piece aside from the fishing line. I messed with their jacket AGAIN because i can't stop thinking about what kinda jacket they'd wear. gorp-core ? idk. it sure is something!
gifts for my friends :3
back in my weeb era for real YAYYYY!!! up til now i'd been making hockey art using a zero pressure sensitivity pen brush because i simply did NOT want to deal with that. it is and has always been a barrier to me making art that uses line art. <3 easing my way back into it though!
I used to paint gifts for my friends and then get them printed into lil posters and mount them on nice backing :3 i am now ready and back to painting.
Here is my girlbestie's OC. just a rough pose sketch. i think im pretty unsatisfied with the gesture of the head/hand. i wanted to include her gun in some way. i fear i may have to rework the pose entirely <3
For the genshin girlies.. here are some of my friends fave characters.
Yelan - this one i started many holidays ago and put on the backburner because the colouring was wigging me out. you can see where i started rendering stuff + got sidetracked and started on something else (the crystal choker IM LAUGHING @ past me...)
Ayaka - I reaaally like what i did here with the perspective + foreshortening. I don't know if the pose or expression is in-character or not, but i had fun :3 got stunlocked looking at references of genshin weapons so this is where i left off:
if you made it all the way down here hi... <3 ice hockey really cracked the ketchup bottle open for me when it comes to making art again. i love the communities i've found, and i'm inspired by every artist on here every day. thanks for being so cool + have a great day :)
#hiiii... late with starbucks (gigantic wip dump now i feel good about sharing again)#puckpainting#tag game#eye contact#the . the tag thingy for half of these aint working HELP <3
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who’s my obedient slut?
HEYYY YALL IM BACK FROM NOT POSTING CAUSE I HAD ZERO IDEAS BUT SINCE IM A HOBIE LOVER HERES ONE
Warnings/Tags- unprotected sex, creampie, tittie play, biting , HEAVY details , rough sex , praise , virgin reader , smut with barely no plot , use of the n word and slut , mention of spanking . Sorry for any minor spellings I’ll fix it later
Please don’t read if your not of age you can get me and you in trouble. BUT HAVE FUN GUYS
I wanted him to pin me down on the bed i begged and planned this remember?
“Get on your knees now “
“ hobie please im sorry I won’t do it again i promise “ i pleaded on the floor crying after breaking one of his favorite chokers and trying to hide it. The other girls outside of the door listening.
“ you know y/n your the only virgin slut i have that I haven’t fucked since I got so maybe todays your day huh princess what do you say you
A : take a hard spanking from me while having your hands tied behind your back and a vibrator in that nice pussy of yours
or you
B : take my cock from behind while having slow hot sex while I stretch out that nice and tight ass of yours ? “ he says laying out a black leather belt on his lap
“ I choose b “
“ hmmm amazing choice now take off those slutty clothes and get on the bed for me hmm?” Hobie says walking around to put the belt back and than I felt him behind me that’s when EVERYTHING changed that night
On a cold night with the moonlight shining though the window his clothes half way off his back and muscles showing looking me dead in the eyes than kissing my neck slowly while telling me I'm all his and that he'll never leave me alone until the day we die , holding one of my legs on his waist biting my neck than placing a soft but a deep and passionate kiss on my lips while I wrap my arms around his neck never letting him go , his hands trailing up my shirt.
Whispering slowly into my ear If I was sure I wanted this he knew I wanted him for the longest so of course I said yes.
he takes off his shirt fully while forcing my head to look at him in the eyes, I was embarrassed it was my first time ever having sex than he helps me remove my clothes while slowly kissing my neck and playing with my breast , biting deep but soft into my neck forcing a moan out of me. He moves one of my legs to the side while rubbing circles on my sensitive spot
" you like it don't you l've been waiting so long to taste you baby " he whispered into my ears while taking off his pants I could feel him getting hard I wanted him to just fuck me already but I had to be patient , the things he could do to me .
" your gonna take my dick like a good girl right? Hmm?"
“ hobie please- “
He bits down on my neck again “ I didn’t ask for you to beg or plead I asked for an answer “
“ yes “ i whispered
“ speak up! I can’t hear that sexy voice of yours baby “
“ Yes! “ I yelled letting him know I was serious about taking him
“ aww that’s my girl I like it when you yell out yes”
Hobie’s phone rings and it’s miles on the line
“ yo miles ill be a while bruv i have something nice and tight waiting for me to finish them “
He hangs up the phone and turns his attention to me “ I hope you know that ‘ nice and tight ‘ thing is you “
He turns me around face flat on my stomach sliding his cock in my ass aggressively, i yelled out in pain he didn’t even give me the chance to think after that. He starting humping me aggressively all the lube he put in my ass sliding out , wet sounds from his dick hitting my ass and the lube mixed it’s like he’s taking out all his pent up aggression out on me.
“ fu-fuck hobie can you be a little soft it’s my fi-first time “ I said stuttering from how hard he was fucking me his cock slamming in and out of my ass.
“ be softer?! Oh no princess I’m not sure I’m going to do that. it’s your first time and I want you to remember every last bit of this. no Niga can fuck you as good as I can baby, no one can put you to sleep with they dick like I can I promise you baby I promise you no one can fuck you like I can.”
Hobie keeps fucking me my body feels numb and weak but I loved the way his dick made me feel I was going crazy for him I don’t know if I wanted more or if I wanted him to stop it felt to good and I wanted to cry from how hard he was fucking me but I couldn’t…I begged him for more I didn’t want him to stop the pain felt amazing.
“ oh now you want me to keep going huh!? you like that baby huh!? you like how deep my cocks going into that nice tight ass of yours ?! Told you no one can fuck you like me no Niga gon fuck you but me right ? Your all mines and no one else?!”
“ y-yes hobie I’m all yours “
“ say what i want to hear slut “
“ no Niga can fuck me like you can “
“ huh say it louder I can’t hear you baby!! I want you to scream it “
“ No niga can fuck me like you can !! “
“ that’s it baby yes oh fuck yes that’s it I’m about cum... fuck your amazing oh fuck I’m so fucking close “
“ ah-ah~ shit ah oh fuck mmm that felt amazing fuck” Hobie cums Deep inside of me some of his cum leaking out of my ass , my pussy wet and wanting to be fucked.
* deep breathing * “ ah oh fuck that was amazing. Hmm aww your pussies all wet she wants me to fuck her? To bad I’m all out of energy fuck that drained me “ he said while smacking my ass and fingering me
“ maybe if your a obedient slut tomorrow night I’ll fuck your wet pussy okay baby ?” He kisses my forehead and spoons me. before all this I was scared of sex but maybe after this I’ll keep being hobie’s obedient slut and yes all the girls on the other side of the door heard idc .
#spiderman#spiderman astv#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown x you#hobie brown x y/n#spider punk x reader#spider punk#hobie brown fanfiction#astv hobie#hobie x y/n#hobie brown#fem reader#fypシ゚viral#x reader#fyppage#astv fic#18+ fanfic#astv#astv x reader#atsv prowler#earth 42 prowler
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AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time
Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop
! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.
Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.
Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.
Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.
Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.
It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?
What are these acronyms?
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Astro Observations: synastry edition
- Hard aspects to Saturn is common in long distance relationships. - Moon square Pluto will put a relationship to the test frfr. - Sun square mars, may the biggest ego win. Me and this guy would always joke about how we both needed the last word. - Moon opposite Saturn gives me the hebbie Jebbies cus why are you treating them like that?
- Mars conjunct Jupiter = best friendsssss. I love this aspect it feels like you can talk about anything with this person. When anything happened in my life this person got the phone call. - Uranus is so fun in synastry the relationship most likely isnt conventional or long term but it adds such a child like enjoyment. Practicality goes out the window and its just about enjoying the present because there be some ghosting going on sooner or later but yesssss show up at my door unannounced i love shit like that.
- Too much 12th house is just a major red flag for me. Intentions are always in question. Gives love hate vibes. They could treat you differently based on who's around. Ive had many 12th house relationships atp i roll my eyes when i see this between me and someone lmao. Not all 12th house is like that though for example me and this guy had venus in 12th house both ways. I loved the way he treated me. Ive never experienced someone be so nurturing and giving so soon, but i just didnt feel the chemistry. On paper it made so much sense but the passion just wasnt there. I felt confused and ungrateful like i was wasting something but hey you cant fake your feelings. - Im going to make a separate post just on 12th house but Jupiter in the 12th gives such empty promises vibes. Its not even that the person is lying i think alot of times they wanna do the things they say but they overestimate their abilities or just take on too much. - Mars square Neptune is tragic the relationship has no real direction. Following the leader right off a bridge.
- With venus square Asc you don’t really like the way the person comes off. Things about their personality could have you second guessing if you really like them. Y’all can play tag with each other neither really trying to commit for whatever reason you dont see the relationship being the right fit but you like the idea of being together. It’s honestly just sad tbh lmao -Venus conjunct Moon is so sweet u feel like u always have a home in this person. Your phone calls will get answered with them. -Someone had a stelluim in my 7th house i thought he was gonna be husband material at first but nope he acts more like a fan. -9th house synastry is nice. You look up to this person in that area.
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art tag
love a good art tag so thank you @doshiart for thinking of me <3
How did you start drawing? What year was it that you become more seriously and consciously interested in it?
uh ive been drawing all my life, i wanted to be an 'artist' when i was 6 and then it kinda went into different ideas surrounding art - tattoo artist, graphic designer, illustrator, etc etc and then i decided to pursue graphic design afer high schoo about 8 years ago? and have a degree in that now
When you felt the urge to share your art with other people? When did you start posting your drawings on social media?
i was always drawing for other people and then i started posting my fanart when i got twitter and tumblr in 2010, so it's still floating around on here
Your first/earliest drawing. What were your impressions of it back then and what are your feelings now?
i was probably really proud of it and had probably never seen a giraffe at all, i was 5. there's earlier ones out there of course but this is the earliest i could find around me
Your first fanart ever
i cant find my fanart of my little pony from 2004, or my fall out boy, panic at the disco and my chemical romance stuff from 2008. i drew this of ian in 2011 though.
Your first gallavich fanart
see above
When you had bad days and things didn't work out, what inspired you to keep trying?
what else was i gonna do with my life lol, im not good at maths, im not good at english, im not good at science so this was the only thing left. i dont share what i draw most of the time, no one needs to see it, so i just sketch whats around me, i scribble just to get the anxiety out. and then i come back sometimes weeks later like it never happened.
Show your old piece that you strongly dislike and tell why.
i was just getting back into the shameless fandom after being in and out since 2011 and i hadnt actually drawn them for a long time so i hate this one with a burning passion.
Show your old piece that you very like and tell why. What's the difference with the previous?
this is a scanned version, it's done entirely in sharpie. i like how simple it is, just one medium, stark contrast, and yeah. difference between them is that one is digital and one is traditional, one was done after drawing them for years and the other was done after taking a break to draw for other fandoms.
Show your old piece that you were very proud of back then.
maybe this one from university? i made a guidebook of architecture of melbourne and i drew every building by hand, i did this maybe 4 years ago?
Do you do any practice sketches or warm-ups before you draw something big?
oh yeah - mind maps, thumbnails, hand drawn text exploration, figure sketches, writing down different values. every single one of my drawings that get posted start like this
Sketch vs Final. Show your process.
i had to redesign the blair witch movie poster
Your most recent drawing.
logo ive been working on for a client - not bound by contract so i can share it with you because i dont want to share my secret santa thing lol
Give yourself some praise! Look at what improved in your art!
im glad you kept going. through all the death threats, through people selling your stuff without you knowing, through the depression. who knew you'd still be drawing for the same fandoms decades later?
Any advice you'd give to your earlier self?
stop giving a SHIT about everyone else. draw for yourself and no one else.
Set a goal for yourself for the coming year.
stop getting taken advantage of <3
im tagging @spookygingerr @ghoulish-art-tendencies
@vintagelacerosette @suzy-queued @cal-tastrophe @iansw0rld @heymrspatel @grumble-fish
#im really sorry if you dont want to be tagged#just let me know and ill untag you#tagged#tag game#m does art#my art
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