#still debating whether or not to make a self ship blog…

[charliesinfern0]

i wont him

[pastelpinkkadan]

My most blunt, controversial ACOTAR opinions. Nothing is safe, nothing is sacred. Mind the tags for your own peace of mind please.

P.S.: Absolutely not directed at any other blog/person specifically. Just general fandom/shippers.

Elriel/Gw*nriel:

Gwyn is not that important of a character. She is a secondary character whose main purpose in the story was to be Nesta’s friend. She has no connection to any overarching plot. She could literally never be seen again in the books and all the main plot points would still work.

People have inflated Gwyn’s character and importance solely because they ship her with Azriel. And they ship her with Azriel because 1. She is the only other single female character (besides Elain) that he has interacted with. 2. Gwyn is enough of a blank slate for people to project/self insert themselves into and thereby romance themselves with Azriel 3. Gwyn has only been shown in a positive light, with only positive personality traits (good friend and can wield a sword) so there’s no REAL controversy on her character/personality. Because there’s not enough to actually have any controversy.

If Gwyn was actually that important, Emerie would also be as important, if not more so. But 90% of time Emerie is forgotten by the fandom. Even to the point that the theory of an Illyrian plot is somehow given to Az and Gwyn, rather than Emerie. The two people that, arguably, have the least skin in the game concerning that theory. And the reason Emerie is this pushed out of her own potential story line is because she isn’t shipped with Azriel or another Fae male.

If there was no Bonus Chapter Gw*nriel would not exist. Or at the VERY least, it would be acknowledged as the crackship that it is. Because outside of the BC, there is nothing in the main ACOSF to accurately ship them to the degree that the fandom does. Elriel, however, still has several books where canon scenes have taken place. The BC is absolutely not needed to show that Elriel have feelings for each other, we already knew.

“Well Elain gave by TruthTeller, so Elriel isn’t end game!” Is one of the stupidest reaches I’ve seen. TruthTeller was always, OBVIOUSLY, meant to be something lent to Elain for the war. It wasn’t a permanent gift, and Az didn’t say it was. He said he wouldn’t use it TODAY, implying he would expect to use it again in the future. Imagine -

“Well Gwyn gave back the books Nesta recommended to her, so they obviously aren’t friends.”

Thats what y’all sound like. It’s just purposely misinterpreting things in a scene that obviously aren’t there for the sake of your ship. It’s disingenuous and not at all the win you think it is.

You cannot call Azriel an incel/fuck boy for Elain and then ship him with Gwyn in the same breath. If he’s all those things with Elain, he’ll be the same for Gwyn. She is not magically going to make him “better” or a gentleman. Actually, he’s already a gentleman. He just didn’t have sexual thoughts about Gwyn and y’all can’t stand it.

Same vein, but if Azriel had had those sexual thoughts in the BC about anyone else besides Elain there would have been no issue/debate.

If a Gw*nriel book did somehow happen, it would 1000% be for fan service/peer pressure. No previous books have set it up, even the main story in ACOSF. Elriel has been setting up since book 2. It makes sense. Anyone who says it doesn’t just doesn’t want it to happen, mostly because they don’t like Elain. And that’s also mostly because they can’t see themselves in Elain, so they lash out.

Saying Elriels are delusional is the wildest thing, because Elriels have the most canon scenes spread throughout the books, Elain and Azriel have interacted with each other positively the most and the longest, and they are the only potential couple that actually bluntly like each other. They exist outside of misinterpreted bonus chapters and “what if” theories with no real backing.

Elain:

Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, part of the Elain hate IS misogyny. The amount of hate this character receives, compared to what she has actually done in the series, is entirely undeserving. She has received the same level of hate, if not more, than Tamlin, any of the ACOTAR villains, and Nesta, who is still a very controversial character. And for what? Liking Azriel, and not wielding a sword while doing it, apparently.

Elain liking flowers does not determine who she’ll end up with. For fucks sake we didn’t know Nesta liked to read smut or was great dancer until her book. And neither of those things determined her partner. It’s just what she likes. Same with Elain.

Nessian/ACOSF

The idea that Nesta will leave Cassian and make her own court is stupid.

Being anti-ACOSF but Pro-Nesta is a streeeeeetch, because all of Nesta’s actual good character development came from ACOSF. Like, did you like that she was angry and unhealed before? Because that’s where she would still be without all that happened in ACOSF.

People don’t understand the intervention that HAD to happen with Nesta in ACOSF. And I would even venture to say that most people against it have never HAD to have a real intervention with someone to that level. The level of, go to rehab/therapy or you are not allowed to be in my house/take up my resources. Because you will not get better on your own, you will only hurt yourself or others and I won’t enable you anymore. It’s a difficult decision that but often it is NECESSARY. Speaking as someone with several addict family members.

El*cien/Lucien:

All the theories about an El*cien plot line are completely focused on Lucien, and ignore everything built up with Elain. It’s always about Lucien figuring out his heritage, becoming some High Lord of one of the courts, or something with the Band of Exiles. Elain doesn’t have to be involved for any of that to happen. She’s pushed to the side in her own romantic story line. Nothing about her Seer powers, or the fact that she’s apparently been gaining spy abilities, or her place at the Night Court.

Lucien fans make me hate Lucien more than Lucien ever could.

The poor Lulu mindset can die.

While we’re at it, the theory that Elain likes Lucien so much that she avoids him is also stupid. That makes no sense. She loses her boldness around. She got better WHEN HE LEFT. All of Elain’s most powerful moments are when Lucien isn’t around. And that says something.

People cling to 1st book Lucien so much, but he has not been that way SINCE book 1.

Tamlin:

Tamlin already got a redemption arc when he brought Rhys back to life. He doesn’t need another one, and he certainly doesn’t need a full book.

The Tamlin/Elain ship is stupid and only benefits Tamlin, not Elain. Once again placing Elain to the side of her own romance, much like El*cien.

ACOTAR:

If you hate everyone in the IC, you don’t actually like ACOTAR. They’re the majority of the books, including half of ACOSF. And it’s actually really stupid to hate the IC and still pretend you’re an ACOTAR fan. Because, again, the IC is the MAJORITY of ACOTAR. Please read something you actually like.

If you hate the entire main story and main characters of ACOTAR, but like one or two characters, you don’t like ACOTAR. You see yourself in a character, and want the story to reflect what YOU want to happen to that character (ie, yourself), and can’t handle that it didn’t. You don’t actually like the ACOTAR series. Again, maybe it’s time to read something else.

3 Acherons x 3 Bat Boys isn’t cliche. It’s a pattern. It’s a literary motif. It’s a theme. It is a pattern that SJM has naturally set up, the fact that you can see and assume that Elriel would be apart of that just means you can recognize basic literary devices in a fantasy novel. Which is the POINT.

I have no intention of debating anything. I’m just stating my opinions on my blog, like everyone else gets to do. So take that as you will.

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

[professorsta]

I find it funny how weird people are with the alastor shipping debate. Some people (with a very condescending tone) are stating that fandoms cannot be controlled and will ship whoever they want (true but I doubt people who are on the fandom website aren't aware of the porn rule), or people on the other side telling those who ship alastor that they are purposefully being ignorant douchebags. I think alastor is of course being side lined in his sexuality. I don't believe thats a crazy concept considering it happened to gay characters getting shipped with women, happened to lesbian characters bring shipped with men. I think at the end of the day that argument ended on "you're not a morally bankrupt person for shipping a gay man with a woman, you're just probably lacking creativity and an imagination that exceeds your personal lived experience, as well as possible prejudice/bias that you can self reflect on," (again you're not a Stupid Bigot for needing to do this. We all have our subconscious biases we need to work and reflect on). Aro/ace people have a right to their feelings lmao even if you're partially right in that alastor will still be shipped. We can feel like the fandom is ignoring Alastor's core of who he is, his richness of characteristics, and his depth to pidgin hole him into a common archetype. Which i think is a fair opinion to have. Ones sexuality is a fundamental part of who they are, and ignoring Al being aro/ace strips him partially of his canon characteristics. You don't have to defend you're entire existence if you ship alastor tho. I was in the voltron fandom when keith and shiro were being shipped, ive been in the discourse trenches and couldn't care less about fake people kissing. But i can see how, you know, when you're excluded it can get annoying, and ones blog is a place to let go when the patience well has dried up. The character aren't real, but you're fellow queer members are. And they see how easily it is for you to forgot to engage with aromantiscm. A lack of interest and compassion in understanding our views and way of navigating the world. Its not as simple as "fandoms will ship whoever they want its not important" or "anyone who ships alastor should be harassed and shamed". Its a hard knock life for all of us. Lets see other's perspectives before judging? And maybe have some understanding for those in your community who are forgotten, who are just trying to make some noise, whether is be angry, sad, or desperate, just to be heard

[billowingangel]

Welcome ✧

I've been into hetalia since 2016 and for a while I tried to pretend I didn't like it....And I'm tired of living that lie! So I'm back to thinking, loving, obsessing, and writing about Hetalia.

I also block very freely and I'd rather people be 18+ to interact (since occasionally I may post nsfw/nsft which I will always tag)

I'm currently working on a few fanfictions which you can find on AO3 and FF.net

My favorite character is Canada 🍁 And I ship him with pretty much anyone...and I mean anyone...If that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to block this blog or the tags associated with ships you are uncomfortable with. I may at times reblog problematic ships, I'll add tags for the ship and a cw for the problematic element of the ship. Please take care of your mental health and curate your online space to what is best for you ♡ ˎˊ˗

more information below the canada picture

Wow, you clicked continue reading so here's more annoying stuff about me and this blog (^_^)

I spam reblog, mostly fanart (so many in this fandom are so talented!) and miscellaneous things (memes, random shit, writing tips, etc).

I'll occasionally post some of my own fanfictions (drabbles or links to them)

I also will post my rambling silly thoughts. I have decided to let myself loose and be as annoying authentic as possible here.

Also I will do my best to tag content/trigger warnings but I may forget (memory of a goldfish) so if I do please let me know

Here are some tags I use on this blog to organize (still working on what tags to use) ᯓ★

#art reblog ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡): self explanatory

#hetalia fanart ✨: reblogs of hetalia fanart

#canon tbh: posts that I see as accurate to character's personalities, how I perceive them, and how I think they'd act

#hetalia fanfiction:

#hetalia meme:

#positivity: posts and reblogs that are positiive

#misc: posts that are surprisingly not related to hetalia

#me core: reblogs that I really relate to

#fanfic imagine: imagining a fanfiction and maybe i'll write or finish the idea

#fanfic in progress: my thoughts during the process of writing fanfiction, debating whether I should do this or that, talking about what I plan to do, blah blah

#my fanfic: fanfiction that I have written, usually a link to ao3 but may also be to ff.net

I also mostly tag hetalia characters as hws so if you look up hws canada (for example) you'll be able to see all posts about that character

Some of my favorite posts of mine ┈─★

Now more about me which is why you're reading this (I'm just kidding)

Call me angel or anything really I don't care what I'm called (ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ)

Also please feel free to message me!! I love talking to people but I get a bit hestitant about initiating. My discord is billowingangel if you want to talk there!

I'm 20 years old and I go by she/her pronouns and I'm a lesbian I love me some boobs what can I say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I may be a raging homosexual but I'm also a raging hetaliansexual (joke), I am attracted to so many fictional male characters and shockingly a ton of them are from hetalia (shoot me dead)

I love hetalia if that isn't obvious, it's on my brain a probably disturbing amount what can I say I'm mentally ill. I also like other anime (demon slayer <333, jujutsu kaisen, the witch and the beast, parasyte, etc), doctor who (so happy there's a new season), yuri manga!!, and other shit. I love horrors and thrillers! I rarely watch romantic comedies but I love reading romance in fanfiction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm working on my own book (probably my 20th book) but I'm hoping to actually finish this one.

I am also working on multiple fanfictions: red means it's completed

off the grid: canada slightly snaps and goes on vacation lol

???:idk what to call it, america, england, and france are all fighting for canada's love and he's oblivious

unhealthy obsession: another country becomes obsessed with canada

Falling for Canada: multiple rarepair oneshots with Canada

My first omegaverse 0.0

a really stupid horror drabble that I posted

amecan week 2024

And I believe that's it~ Maybe I'll add my favorite ships

[neverland-l0stgirl]

I wrote a lengthy blog post about my experiences in NY for the Japan Parade. I’m definitely the main character of my post, so don’t read if you don’t like that kind of stuff. The parts focusing on the Kimetsu float are between the ~~~ marks. Please also excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes 🙏

⬇️⬇️⬇️

I went to NYC this past weekend to see Sakamoto Shogo-kun as Tanjiro in the NYC Japan Parade. I don’t really read manga or watch anime anymore, so I’m mainly there to support Shogo-kun himself 🥰

I debated for a long time whether I would go. Planning a trip just for a celebrity is not really something I would usually do, but going to NYC alone IS exactly the type of thing I might do 😅 Because I love theater so much, I would honestly fly to NY just to wander around and watch a bunch of Broadway shows.

Anyways, so there is a little backstory of how I decided to go…

Last month was my birthday, and Shogo-kun happened to livestream on his Openrec account the day before. I sent him a paid comment telling him that it was my birthday and that I was happy to see him livestream right before my birthday 🥳 I had wanted to tell him “MAYBE I’ll see you in NY as well” just to be polite. I’m a very self-conscious, people-pleasing type of person. It seemed rude to me to write a comment just to point out how it was my birthday 😓 However, there was a character limit, and the stream was about to end. In a moment of panic, I just typed “See you in NYC” in English. Because I told him that, I thought I had to keep my promise and go 🥲 He even acknowledged it and said something along the lines of, “ah, I wonder if I would see you.” My friend asked me later why I didn’t just say “Have fun in NY.” Well… I can’t think clearly in a moment of panic, okay?! 😭

Anyways, so that was the reason. I’m not gonna lie, the entire time, I felt a little silly to be doing this. I honestly feel like I’m too old to still be chasing idols around and not focus on adult things that proper adults should be focusing on…

Before I went, my otaku friend told me I should make uchiwa with Shogo-kun’s name. I did plan on bringing a sign of some sort with Shogo-kun’s name, but I guess the proper way to do it was to make uchiwa, right? 😅 I wasn’t able to buy blank ones in the US nor did I order them in time to be shipped to me before the event; however, 13 years of US compulsory schooling taught me nothing but arts and crafts right?! (no, actually my middle/high school were very academically rigorous 🥲, but I also did do lots of arts and crafts!). I ended up making uchiwa from black poster board with popsicle sticks on the inside as structural support. It was a fairly easy crafts project until my superglue EXPLODED, and then it became a disaster. Up close, there was glue everywhere, but from far away, they looked alright.

But remember how I said I was a very self-conscious person? I was sooooo embarrassed by the thought of holding up the uchiwa’s but only because I knew I would probably be the only person who had them. If I went to a TouMyu show where everyone had uchiwa, I wouldn’t have minded at all. Anyways, it was with these kinds of feelings that I left for New York.

Before going to New York, I was really worried about the weather since it seemed like it would be cold and rainy [as a Californian, anything below 65F (18C???) is extremely cold 🥶]. BUT the weather was amazing on the day of the parade. It was literally cold and rainy the days before and after. Shogo-kun is really prone to sunburns though, so I hope he was alright. I hope the heavy stage makeup he wore protected him from the sun 😬

On the day of the parade, I got to the parade location very early. I knew I was going to be waiting around for a while since the Kimetsu float was scheduled to come out pretty late in the event, but I was already too tired from the previous couple of days to really want to be doing anything else, so I just waited and chatted with the volunteers. I ended up waiting about an hour before I saw the Kimetsu float. In the first hour, I spent some time waving to the kids in the parade and anyone else who looked excited to be a part of the parade. In my youth, I did a lot of performance arts (I also started doing them again as an adult!). I thought about how sad I would be if I were performing, but the patrons didn’t seem too excited to see me, so I tried my best to smile and wave at people in the parade even if I had no idea what their organization was all about 😅

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, I saw the Kimetsu float! The official event website said it would be less crowded the farther away you are from 72nd street, so I made it up to 79th street. I held out my uchiwa’s as soon as I saw the float. I think Shogo-kun’s castmates saw them before he did 😅 When he finally saw them, he made a face like 😮 and started waving to me while mouthing “thank you” 🥰 It was my first time meeting him, and I wanted to appear as normal as possible 🤣 so all I did was smile and wave. He waved to me until I was out of his sight. After that, I tried to chase the float a little. I picked another spot down the street and waved my uchiwa’s at him again. He waved to me again until I was out of his sight. I tried to chase the float some more, but the farther down I got, the more crowded it became, so it was really impossible to chase the float anymore.

People were sooooo excited to see Kimetsu, I was honestly pretty surprised. I didn’t know us Americans were THIS into Kimetsu haha. There were kids and adults, men and women who shouted “Tanjiro!” and “Inosuke!” at the top of their lungs. There were people professing their love to all the characters 😅 There was even a Japanese girl on stilts (she might have been in the parade) who was going CRAZY for Tanjiro. I’m happy to see people being this passionate about Kimetsu 😆 It would have sucked to come all this way to a lackluster crowd.

At the end of the parade, the cast of Kimetsu sang a little bit and performed a couple fight scenes. The people who got to see them from the front all wore a badge of some sort. They were probably important city officials and event planners or the press. Most of the fans only got a side view or a back view. It’s not a big deal, though, since the portions I couldn’t see well were all captured by the press and posted online. I was standing on the west side at this point where it was very crowded. I ended up crossing the street after the performance to the east side where it was less crowded. After the show, the Kimetsu cast did a prolonged interview session. At this point, I couldn’t see them at all, but I was too lazy 😅 to cross the street again. Also, I did not want stand where I could have been captured in pictures or videos with my uchiwa’s by the press 🫣 The fans on the west side were able to see their backs. Around this time, some fans holding signs for Sato Yugo-kun and Yazaki Hiroshi-san spotted my uchiwa’s, and we started excitedly waving and giggling at each other 🤭. It was so nice to make a connection with other fans of the actors!! I was also super glad (and no longer embarrassed 😅) that I brought the uchiwa’s ☺️. Would Shogo-kun have been sad if there were supporters of Yugo-kun and Yazaki-san but not himself??

At the end of the interview, Shogo-kun ran up to the fans standing on the west side and high-fived them all! He was particularly excited to see the fans who came out to support Yugo-kun and Yazaki-san 😊 Finally, he came to my side. He saw my uchiwa’s again and waved to me while mouthing “thank you” again. He did this even after he got back on the float to leave the event 🥺 I told him “Thank you for coming!” I hope he heard me 😅

Shogo-Kun really brought his best fanservice game. He smiled SO randiantly and waved a lot and said some phrases in English and Japanese like “How are you, New York?!” and “Thank you!” I’m sure he said more things that fans were able to see in the online streams, but it was so hectic that I personally don’t really remember what else he said 😓

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I kind of regret not trying to high five him when he got close enough, but as I have mentioned, I’m, uhhhh, very self-conscious people-pleasing 😭 Shogo-kun is very people-shy, right? I honestly didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable 🥺 just in case he didn’t want to shake hands or whatever. I also didn’t want to shout his name. I don’t know if himself or people who came to see Kimetsu would have minded that I would be breaking his character a little. There were a couple girls who were shouting “Shogo-kun” though. And also grown ass men shouting “Tanjiro I love you!” and doing finger hearts 🤣

Because I was holding uchiwa’s and trying to wave to Shogo-kun, I couldn’t take any videos of our interactions. I also thought it would have been impolite to stick a camera in his face while he was making eye contact with me (self-conscious people-pleasing amirite or amirite 😳). Because of this, our interactions only live inside my memories (and maybe his????? 🤷🏻‍♀️). From what I can remember, every time I brought out my uchiwa’s, he only waved at me and no one else. Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know, but that’s how I remember it. I wonder if anyone next to me at the time who came to see Tanjiro felt disappointed at all that he only waved to me 😬 I hope they also got their fair share of fanservice 😬😬

Shogo-kun and his castmates really worked sooooo hard on this trip. They arrived midday Thursday, attended a rehearsal on Friday, and the event was on Saturday. They flew back to Japan midday Sunday and have all arrived safely 😊 They barely had time to go sightseeing at all, and at least Shogo-kun and Yugo-kun were suffering from pretty terrible jet-lag, so they might have spent a lot of time sleeping 😢 I also thought the event planners would at least spend a day showing them around the city since they were literal guests to the city and were supported by the Japanese-American consulate, but it seemed like they were on their own 🙁 I also don’t know if all of their meals got reimbursed! That’s crazy! I treat my guests much better!! I hope they all had fun regardless, and I hope they can visit again someday in a more relaxed fashion!

In the end, all of my doubts and feelings of “what am I doing” dissipated. I’m so glad I made the trip all the way across the country 😅 I don’t think there will be many more events where I can see my oshi up close and freely take pictures and videos. I wish I was a bit more daring and appeared more passionate about meeting Shogo-kun, but I hope he felt my support regardless 🥰

As a bonus, I also saw some amazing Broadway shows and did some fun shopping! I saw Back to the Future on Broadway, which Shogo-kun, Yugo-kun, and Yazaki-san also saw. While it was fun, I really wish they saw a more renowned show like The Lion King. I really think the quality is different!!

Alright. That’s it. Thanks to those who have made it this far. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions about anything!

[toxic-potions-productions]

So, I did something last night

O & I have been talking alot about Resident evil village lately & I decided to draw some designs for myself if I was in the game

Since it takes place in February 2021, I was able to get away with putting myself in something casual >:3 I want that backpack so badly

Some spoilers are in this role explanation, so tread carefully!

So, my role in REV is a plot twist villain. I go with Ethan for most of his adventure to save Rose, but my true intentions start to become more visible as the game goes on. I would say they start to show about when it gets to Moreau’s section of the game. I would usually call Ethan if I’m ever stuck on something, & I would be pretty affectionate to him. Since this plays out from Ethan’s POV & we don’t see any third person views until the very end, You would see my arms come into view if I put them over his shoulders to look at something. I always try to be extra careful with his mutilated hand, though. I would be really sweet & tell Ethan that things are gonna be okay. But. that obviously doesn’t last very long. When it gets to Heisenberg asking Ethan to work with him to save Rose & use her to kill Miranda, he obviously refuses. But, I don’t. When I take that offer, that’s when my mask comes off & I reveal that I’m actually cynical, manipulative & persuasive. Think of me as Makima from Chainsaw man, that’s the BEST way to put it. So, that part of the game goes on longer then it normally does since after I betray Ethan, I have a moment where I present myself to him with a brand new look (Right). When I went with Heidi instead, he teaches me all he knows, & even makes the axe I use. Even though I’m a plot twist villain, I do still have a good heart. But, I’m still willing to bulldoze anyone in my way. Obviously, Ethan would be pretty ashamed & angry that I went against him, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy our time together. Because of this, sometimes I would wonder if I made the right choice to work for Heisenberg instead. After Metalberg (What I call mutated Heisenberg, BTW) is killed, I disappear for the rest of the game. A little cutscene plays out after getting crystal Heisenberg & before Chris calls Ethan where I was off in the distance & saw everything that happened. The fight, the explosion, everything. Because of this, my good side comes out more & in a scared & upset state, I just run off & disappear into the shadows & out of the village. I don’t make any more appearances after that scene which leads to Ethan thinking I probably died in that explosion. But, I end up making another appearance in RE:8. Whether or not I end up dying for real in RE:8 is up for debate. & for the record, no there will not be any shipping with Heisenberg & I. I know I’m 19, but I would see him as either a cool uncle, a mentor, or older brother instead.

This is still gonna be a mostly FNW39 blog since I couldn’t get out of that obsession even if I tried, but I just wanna show off axe mommy-- I mean REV!Z for you guys

Is slightly simping for my own design narcissism or self-love? Someone help me out, I’m deadass confused ^^’

I know one of my fruit fam members, who is a simp of me, is gonna go nuts over this (You know who you are~)

Have fun simping & drawing her!

[hgtmigirlxx]

Where I Went: A Statement

So . . . it’s been a hot minute.

If I recall correctly, I last posted in 2018. Despite the rapidly aging cells of my brain wishing to believe otherwise, that was five years ago now. I essentially disappeared from everywhere-with the exception of my Youtube channel-five years ago. In saying that my Youtube channel was an exception, even it evolved past the theming and topics that the people who followed this blog watched my videos for. 

I feel compelled to say I’m sorry. I don’t believe that I had anyone on tender hooks wondering where I disappeared to or why I vanished at all. However, my inbox is full with more than one hundred messages, ones which would feel far too odd and far too late to directly respond to now. So I figured that an update was in order.

TW: Mental health; self harm

The Fandom Side

It’s important to note that for the majority of my usage of Tumblr, I was a minor. I turned 18 in 2016, so was only an adult for a year before I left.

The truth of the matter is that Tumblr became an unhealthy environment for me. This site has come so far in so many ways in terms of user behaviour since the day I left, but I think anyone who was on this website during the difficult periods know exactly the type of toxicity that used to run wild here. And I am not totally blameless. I was complicit, and I think that that realisation contributed to my decision to leave.

I was getting involved in fandom discourse and drama on a regular basis. It began in my Hunger Games days and continued into my Shadowhunters era. When it came to the fandom side of Tumblr, there was always a fight to be had. Drama was always just around the corner and if you didn’t word yourself correctly or god forbid shipped something the majority considered wrong, then you were opening yourself up to attack. And I was on both sides of the attacker and the attacked. I think most of us usually are. No one is totally blameless. Whether I was white knighting Claudia Trisac against the Joshifer shippers or being the Anti-CC provocateur in order to big up Shadowhunters, I was always inserting myself into drama in defense of what I thought was the moral and right side.

It got to the point at times where I was constantly checking my blog notifications to make sure no one was reblogging me with a nasty comments or sending me hateful asks. It was interfering with my mental health, and my mental health had already taken a huge hit in 2017.  That’s not to say that genuine debate didn’t take place from time to time. However, this wasn’t common. I advocate for proper debate on my Youtube channel and I think part of the desire to do that was because of how disagreements on this website usually went down. Of course, it also happened on Youtube and across all platforms, such is the nature of social media, but I have lessened my contribution to such behaviour. I’m satisfied with the strides I’ve taken with this. I definitely feel like I’m a lot more responsible with my media consumption.

Mental Health and Autism

A year before I left this site, in the summer of 2017, I had a mental breakdown. A pretty big one, to be honest. I quit college and became a shell of a person due to a severe case of generalised anxiety disorder. Doing anything that went outside of my everyday norm and routine caused extreme distress. My anxiety expressed itself very physically, such as vomiting, trembling and on occasion passing out. This resulted in me being taken into A&E for self harm that Autumn.

I spent the proceeding years pretty much just trying to cope. Trying to survive. Mental health services suck, especially when you’re an adult struggling. The hospital gave me six sessions with a counsellor and a pat on the back. Once those six weeks were up, I was expected just to get on with my new medication and no problems. So I did. Or tried to. I didn’t go back to school, nor did I get a job. It felt like I was just existing, and it still does in many, many ways. There were some benefits, though. I helped my sister raise my nephew and I developed an unmatchable bond with him because of this; a rare connection that I doubt I will ever have with another child (unless I have my own, obviously). That was round about the time I disappeared from this blog. I made my post about my book-which we’ll get to-and then sort of vanished.

In 2019, I put myself in to be put on a waiting list for an Autism Assessment. Being twenty one at the time, many asked why I was doing it. What was the point if I wasn’t a kid anymore? I always say the same thing in return. I needed answers. An anxiety diagnosis did fit me but I always felt like there was something else. Like I had only gotten half an answer instead of a full one. Events and behaviours that traced back to my childhood that couldn’t possibly have been anxiety. I wasn’t anxious when I was five. I was actually incredibly outgoing. So why did I hate fireworks and discos and crowded shops and struggled so much trying to make friends? Why was I so focused on these fandoms in my teenage years? Why was I so obsessed that I couldn’t put the phone down and separate myself from that world? That wasn’t anxiety either.

Last year, on May 31st, I was diagnosed with autism. Hearing those words felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had an answer. Everything suddenly made so much sense. This anxiety I had been diagnosed with in 2017 was very much still anxiety, but it was an anxiety that stemmed from something much larger. Something much larger that had been a part of me all this time, but had been neglected for twenty three years. 

Co. Down Woman Opens Up about Being Diagnosed with Autism at 23

Now, I’m not using autism as a shield for the fights I used to get into on here. That was all me, whether I was knowingly autistic or not. My neurodivergence doesn’t excuse me from that. In fact, I cringe at the idea of someone excusing my previously argumentative nature just because I’m autistic. It is not a protective blanket; an excuse to throw at people to avoid culpability. All it did, for me, was explain a great deal of stuff such as why I did certain things, or behaved in certain ways. But an excuse? Absolutely not.

The Seven

My final post on this blog before I became Houdini and vanished into the ether was about being published. This did happen. In April 2019, my debut novel The Seven released on Amazon. It’s an LGBTQ+ urban fantasy, and centers around seven characters who have supernatural abilities based on the day of the week they were born on. I never got around to doing an official announcement before I decided to stop posting, which is a shame because there are some congratulations messages in my inbox that I feel terrible for not responding to. I appreciate you, even though the chances of you seeing this are incredibly slim.

Just last year, The Seven became an Amazon Kindle exclusive and can be read for free if you have Kindle Unlimited. Sorry, that feels like a shameless plug but I wanted to let you guys know that the book I last posted about did happen. It wasn’t a pipe dream, or a lie, or bait before I left. 

The Seven ebook

If you’ve been following this blog since my fanfiction days, then this is a really nice achievement to be able to share. A “heh, look, I actually did it!” type of moment. I could have done it earlier. I potentially should have done it earlier. But the time never felt right to come back. Better late than never, I suppose? If you do ever decide to read my word stained pages, drop me a line or an ask and let me know what you thought, yeah?

The Future

I want to come back to this website, but I will be doing so hesitantly. I’m going to take my time and gauge how my psyche behaves. If I sense myself becoming unhealthily obsessed again, or if I feel myself falling back into old actions, I most likely won’t return for good. But at least I will have this post here to fill you guys in on where I went and what happened in the period of time I was away. I’ll probably do a bit of rebranding on here regardless, because I have outgrown hgtmigirlxx and some of her quirks.

Most of all, I want to thank everyone who made my Tumblr experience so enjoyable. Despite everything I said here, I loved this site and my blog and my mutuals. It was fun, and it was silly, and it was good. To the insane fellows who are still following this dumb blog, I see you guys and I love you. You’re all so important to me. 

If you made it to the end of this stupidly long post, you deserve a medal of perseverance. But thank you for bearing with me! Your dedication is admirable and you’re amazing.

Kind regards,

Erin

Where Else to Find Me

[letitrainathousandflames]

Hey sorry to bother. You reblogged something from Lychgate who has an nsfw Twitter (dickgate) where he posts a bunch of really graphic clonecest. He’s a know fetishizer of clones and clonecest.

I truly, dearly hope you reconsider supporting him.

Hi! Thank you for the warning. I don't "support" him or anyone, per se - I see art I like and reblog it. I'm sorry, but I'll have to do a small rant. Firstly: do I fall in the "fetishizer of clones" category? Because most of what I do here is ogle over them and write graphic smut of them with self-insert reader characters. Anyway, moving on:

When I reblog art from the small internet artists here, I'm not raising a flag or promoting them or anything, I'm just... slapping some pretty/cool/funny art on my blog bc I liked it, y'know? My reblog of some person's doodle doesn't - and shouldn't - mean an immediate display of my agreeing with everything this person says and thinks.

In fact, we share glimpses of each other's thoughts, headcanons, opinions with a reblog and we move on to the next one. I have mutuals who like all sorts of things I don't - soup, hiking, the brithish royalty, hunting. I still reblog their stuff, and that doesn't mean our opinions on those topics align.

Of course, I'm always grateful for warnings about me accidentally rebbloging content from a terf/nazi/homophobe/pedophile/scammer, etc, etc. because then I can erase said post and report the user who made it to try make Tumblr a safer community. Disagreeing on whether soup is good isn't the same as disagreeing on lgbt rights.

But when it comes to shipping... man, I don't really care, y'know? Since the clones are all adults, this falls to me in the "ship and let ship" category, and I really lack the mental energy to get into the whole debate of what artist is writing/drawing what about people who, at the end of the day, are still nothing but [adult] fictional characters.

Because here's the deal: who really cares about how or with whom these characters are being shipped? "The children"? They shouldn't be looking at art marked as 18+ in an account that says "no minors". People (like myself) with squicks/triggers/traumas? Tags and blocking systems exist precisely to aid you with that. I use them and I love it. People that Don't Like that ship and want everyone to stop shipping it because they said so? Tags and blocking, again.

I didn't mean to soapbox on your ask, anon, and I'm not even defending Lychgate here bc I don't really care enough about him or this debate to do so tbh.

But I want to emphasize that I only appreciate these kind of warnings when they are about serious, actively damaging stuff, like me accidentally spreading crypto-terf posts bc they're disguised as feminism, or me having some creepy teen groomer's pokemon content on my blog bc they made a funny joke.

I know your intentions are good, but shipping discourse of adult ships is, in my particular opinion, not that important. I don't even ship clones, nor do I care when I see works in which they are shipped. I'm just... detached enough to see they are fictional characters that anyone can get to play with in their own sandbox the way they see fit, and that's none of my business.

That's my stance on adult ships of - and I repeat it - fictional characters. Again, this is not a dig at you or any other person squicked/triggered by clone shipping, nor is a pro clone shipping post. In fact, I'm not pro or against anything when it comes to adult ships - i'm over 30 and way too tired to be screaming about any of this anymore as I did in my teens. Now I just wanna sit here and vibe.

Thanks for the heads-up, and for the opportunity for me to talk about this. Please understand that I mean all of this in the most polite and cordial manner, and expect the same in any further communication between us that may follow. Good night and have a great rest of week.

[bilbobagginsomebabez]

hmmmm im drunk so let’s be a broken record and talk about hyperreality and everything everywhere all at once.

there’s a funny thing about french where the language is structured to encourage metaphor and longwindedness and a funny thing where philosophers are fucking obnoxious and enjoy making their ideas hard to understand so jean baudrillard is a french philosopher who has a reputation for being complicated but in english and to an american, it’s pretty straightforward. a few paragraphs vs a full ass book is p good imo

the concise quote goes like this:

“Such would be the successive phases of the image: it is the reflection of a profound reality; it masks and denatures a profound reality; it masks the absence of a profound reality; it has no relation to any reality whatsoever; it is its own pure simulacrum.”

the “image” is a “representation of the real,” which will make sense in a second. i’m gonna explain it with a hypothetical hurricane. before we get to the image, there’s the lived experience. a real physical hurricane that had real physical impacts--homes destroyed, people displaced, damage, etc. then, there is the image of the real, the representation, a news story telling everyone that the hurricane happened. step two is the commentary on the story. “This Hurricane Has Profound Meaning For Our Weather Preparedness System” vs “Acts of God” vs “Climate Change!!!!” vs “Thoughts and prayers” --> the twitter threads and the thinkpieces and medium posts; the “takes” and the repurposing of a specific lived experience to fit a narrative. step three “no relation to reality” is the reactions to the commentary. the following twitter posts and blog entries, the outrage that someone could even react with thoughts and prayers or think about climate change in the face of personal grief on and on. third parties starting a war with third parties, failing to recognize that no one has been actually dealing with the hurricane this whole time. step four: masking the absence of a profound reality is when mentioning “the hurricane” has absolutely nothing to do with reality and is instead a dogwhistle of sorts. recovery progress? who cares? beside the point now. if the hurricane became a climate change debate, even mentioning whether you think hurricanes are a serious issue is now indicating a stance on climate change. the simulacrum, the fifth and final step, comes swiftly after. hurricanes have literally nothing to do with weather science or disaster preparedness or architectural requirements or the ocean or the state of the planet anymore, it becomes self-referential and self-contained. it doesn’t matter if real hurricanes exist or are happening to people alive right now, “hurricanes” are always REALLY about [x]. climate change itself is a simulacrum. it doesn’t matter that we can actively observe a new wildfire season or that my region didn’t have a fucking winter last year, doesn’t matter what the science says. what matters is that mentioning Hurricanes is declaring a side in an unrelated war. masks during the pandemic is a good practical example of this. for the vast majority of people in the US right now, masking has literally nothing to do with medical science, it’s a Stance On The World.

WALL-E is a shockingly good example of a complete simulacrum (which before i talk about this, it’s fucking gross to communicate apathy through fatness because fuck all the way off i will kill you well before i debate this). the premise of the movie is that all the humans on board the ship have forgotten why they’re there, where they came from, what they’re waiting for, everything about their history. all they know is a screen in front of their face that displays the algorithmically generated fad of the day, which they absolutely adhere to. but if you take even a second to think about their actual circumstances, fuckin none of it makes any goddamn sense. you’ve been stranded on a ship a long ass way from earth for 500 years, and still you’re Performing Capitalism? There is no money on that ship, they don’t even remember earth. there’s no reason to Buy stuff. there’s no competition or social comparison, they don’t have enough social contact with each other to judge each other for being off the fad. all of the real things that created consumerism, that created the ship, that created the structure of their very lives, none of it exists anymore. it certainly isn’t impacting a ship that hasn’t had contact with external beings in 500 fuckin years. it’s a simulacrum. the thing about simulacrums is they move fast, so not only are you disconnected from The Real, you’re moving at lightspeed. hence hyperreality

and what does this have to do with everything, everywhere, all at once? e v e r y t h i n g! if you’re 25 or under, you’ve probably spent half your life or more immersed in a hyperreality-- a hyperreality that exists to distract from the fact that the planet is dying amid about a million other social and political crises that you’re overly aware of because of the hyperreality-- as well as hopelessly aware that no one older than about 35 can even hope to understand the deluge. we are literally dealing with everything, everywhere, all at once. overloaded and terrified and struggling for any sense of meaning again. struggling to reattach ourselves to any sense of The Real

like joy/jobu is simultaneously bogged down with struggles her mother can’t hope to understand (sexuality directly in the film; a changing world implicitly) as well as a constant and overwhelming sense of Everything that could be happening to any variety of person at any time. her carrying capacity is shot, but still she’s expected to carry the burden of responsibility and experience. it’s too much, it’s all just too much. you could find yourself immersed in an entirely different world at any moment with no warning, with different expectations and different assumptions. a completely different understanding of reality that suddenly and without warning you must coexist with

it’s a profound film, one that attempts to undercut the totality of our hyperreality through pure empathy and confidence in the power of true connection. one that seems incredibly aware of the impact that completely untested tech had on probably two entire generations, and how it prevents us from relating to our elders and prevents our elders from relating to us. it’s amazing. and you truly can’t discount the spectacular nature of michelle yeoh

[duhragonball]

Disinterpretation

I finally finished the Sarah Z video about “pro vs. anti”.   It’s pretty long, and I ended up watching it in chunks over several days, but I think it’s worth watching, especially if you’re sort of partially connected to online fandom, but not enough to be aware of all the lingo. 

As I expected, the whole thing was vague and confusing because the people involved in the conflict made it vague and confusing.   In theory, the full terms would be “pro-shipping” and “anti-shipping”, but it seems like it’s more about particular kinds of ships that could be considered controversial.  But that’s a slippery slope, and apparently the whole conflict mutated into both sides deciding that every hypothetical relationship between fictional characters is either equally valid or equally dangerous.  

Long story short, it’s just purity culture, which was what everyone on Tumblr was calling it around 2012.  But now, if you’re a sane person who genuinely asks: “Who gives a fuck about Voltron?”, these people will jump your ass and accuse you of being on the side of their enemies.  “Children have died over the importance of Lotor/Hagger!   Your callous indifference proves that you yourself must have murdered children!” 

I think what Sarah Z really hit upon in this video was that media consumption has become so ingrained in our culture that people feel like it has to go hand-in-hand with our morality.   That is, it’s not enough for me to watch Star Trek, I have to justify Star Trek as evidence that I’m a good person.  Maybe this is where the expression “guilty pleasure” comes from.   Conversely, it’s not enough for me to not watch Dr. Who, I have to somehow convince everyone that Dr. Who was invented by the devil.

I’m pretty sure the Reylo ship has a lot to do with this, since it’s kind of understood to be a dark, problematic concept, and fans either embrace its flaws or recoil in horror because of them.   Star Wars itself is a dumb story about space wizards, so people try to give the debate more weight by linking it to freedom of self expression and/or enabling real world harm.   Suddenly it’s not enough to just think two actors would look cute making out instead of fighting.   Now it’s this battlefield for the soul of civilization or something.

I grew up in the 80′s, when “concerned parents” and grifters would accuse the Smurfs and metal bands of promoting satanism and witchcraft.   I used to hear stories of teens going out into the woods in the middle of the night to do occult stuff, and all I could ever think about was: “Why would anyone bother wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night?”  Which is why “concerned parents” turned their attention to things that were closer to home, like Saturday morning cartoons.   It had nothing to do with the content; it was just about finding a safe, accessible target for their hysteria.   Some people want to go on a crusade without leaving the house, so they pick a fight with Papa Smurf instead of confronting the real evils in the world.  Even as a kid, I knew this was a con, because I’d watched the show for myself and knew it was too saccharine to be threat to anyone.

The pro/anti folks have tried to disguise this with a lot of terminology.   I wondered why they seemed to reluctant to use the full terms “pro-shipper” and “anti-shipper”, and it’s probably a couple of things.   First, the word “shipper” is basically an admission that this is pointless bullshit that doesn’t matter, and they’d like to avoid that connotation.   Second, they seem to have decided that this goes beyond shipping itself, into practically anything else they want it to involve.  It’s all part of the con, which is to make you believe that it’s “us vs. them”, and you can be part of “us” by curating specific attitudes about Steven Universe.

Seriously, “about Steven Universe” is such an incredible punchline.  You can make anything funnier by adding those three words to the end of a sentence.   “Do not interact if you blog about Steven Universe.”   “Hey, what’s up, YouTube, this is SSJ3RyokoLover69, and this is going to be kind of a serious video about Steven Universe.”   “Mrs. Johnson, the results of your biopsy are in, and I have some bad news about Steven Universe.”   It’s a fucking kids show.   “Oh no, all the characters look like the characters in all the other kids shows!”   Yeah, that’s because it’s a kids show.   Marvin looks like Garfield, this isn’t new.

The common denominator here seems to be that both sides try to wrap themselves in the flag of vulnerable groups: impressionable minors, trauma survivors, harassment victims, etc.   The “pros” want to protect those people so that they can feel free to explore weird subject matter on their own terms, and the “antis” want to protect the same people from being exposed to weird subject matter that they might not want to see.   It’s all about establishing a moral high ground.   Back in the day, it was called “sanctimony”. 

But people get roped into this, because at their core, people want approval, and this stupid conflict offers them a sense of community.  As long as you support the cause, whatever it may be, you’ll have this online friend network that appears to support anything you do.   But if you deviate from their norm, you’ll be cast out.    Does this sound familiar?

To use a more familiar example, I still sometimes find people clamoring about Gochi vs. Vegebul.   I’ve never understood this, because both ships were canon, and I never saw much direct evidence of a war between them, but people would still talk about how crazy the Vegebul shippers were, and how crazy the Gochi shippers were, and it was like some huge thing going on just over the hills.   It’s the same idea, since the idea that you could like both or neither never seems to occur to anyone involved.   I never gave a shit, because I used to see the same dumb agendas in the Harry Potter fandom.

Okay, so let me take you back.  It’s 2005 through 2011, and I’m hateblogging all seven Harry Potter novels, because fuck you, that’s why.  The funny thing I encountered was that occasionally fans seemed to want to pretend like my bashing of certain characters was proving them right somehow.    They were like “See?  He hates Ron Weasley too!  That proves that Seamus Finnegan is the coolest guy ever.”   The Slytherin stans would do this all the time, because I would constantly take the piss out of the Gryffindor characters for being self-important dopes.   I think they just liked hearing it from an outside perspective.   But I had to keep reminding them all that I hated all of them.   Every character from Harry Potter sucks ass. Voldemort was my favorite, but only because he was the one guy who wanted to kill all of the others.   But he sucks too because he failed. 

And the shippers were the same way.   I’d say something shitty about Ron, because Ron sucks, and some smartass Joss Whedon fan would be like “Yes!  Boost the signal!  That is why Harry/Hermione is the best ship!”  And I’d be like “No, Harry and Hermione suck at least as bad as Ron does.  They’re all terrible and I hate them.”   I really do think there was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on with Harry Potter books, where everyone secretly knows they suck, but the fans sort of latch on to one or two characters and go like “Well, he’s not as shitty as the rest.”   Like finding spaghetti in the trash and picking out the meatball with the least amount of lint on it.   Then you’d go and start a flamewar with some other starving person over whether your meatball is shittier than theirs.  This is what people mean when they say to read another book. 

Anyway, the big thing I picked up from Sarah Z’s video is “disinterpretation”, a term coined by MSNBC columnis Zeeshan Aleem.   The Twitter thread is worth a read, but the short version is that he once remarked that a Julia Louis-Dreyfus routine wasn’t very good, and someone got mad at him for insinuating that women are incapable of being funny.    They just took his dissatisfaction with one performance by one comedian as being a universal condemnation of women comedians in general.  And this sort of thing is all over the internet.   Everyone sees what they want to see and then they take it as permission to overreact.  

I ran into this myself a while back, because someone saw who I interacted with on Twitter and decided that they’re all bad guys and if I have any interaction with them, then that makes me a bad guy too.   At the time I tried to play it cool, but the more I think about it, the more it ticks me off.   And over the course of that conversation, it was said that I don’t talk about myself much, and that’s kind of funny, because all I ever do on social media is write long-ass blog posts like this one.  I don’t expect anyone to memorize them, or even read them all the way through, but when I write all this stuff and someone goes out of their way to say they don’t know anything about me, the message is that they just didn’t pay attention to what I was saying, and they didn’t bother to try.

So I’m a little jaded from that, because I got called out for a bunch of stuff I didn’t even do or say, and apparently that’s just a thing that happens.   People will reject you for completely arbitrary reasons, not because of anything you actually said or did, and you’re left thinking you made some terrible mistake.   Except, no, I’ve seen it happen to other people, people a lore more conscientious than I am, and if they can’t satisfy the bullshit purity standards, then I never stood a chance.   If the game is rigged so I can’t win, then I’m not going to play.  

And it’s that same condition that probably draws people into these online holy wars, because if you declare yourself for the pro or anti side, at least then you’ll have a posse backing you up.   Only they don’t support you, they support your willingness to support them.    Once your commitment to their agenda wavers, even in the slightest, they will turn against you.   

Sarah Z suggests that both sides of the war drop the pro and anti terms, since they lost all meaning long ago.   But that just invites a new set of useless terms to perpetuate the same cycle.   Her more useful advice is for fandom people to broaden their horizons.   She got a lot of flak for tweeting “Go outside” once, but the ironic thing is that it’s sound advice.   I had lunch with my mom yesterday and it was just nice getting away from things for a while.   People need to do that more often, and unfortunately it feels like it’s harder to do than ever before.

But “go outside” isn’t just a literal thing.   It can mean going beyond your usual haunts, reading the same books, watching the same shows, rehashing the same conversations.   I think the reason this stuff always revolves around “shipping” is because there seems to be this deep-seated compulsion to pair fictional characters off like this, and for a lot of folks it’s the only way they can consume a story, so they do.   And they do it lot, and there’s a lot of them, and they do it the same way every time, and lo and behold the same old conflicts start up.   So maybe “go outside” should mean “go outside of that cycle once in a while.”   Just a thought. 

[greywindys]

...who do you think has more chemistry in romantic sense with Bakugo? Midoriya or Kirishima?

Ooooo dangerous territory, anon. I say this because you're referencing, at least to my current knowledge, the two most popular Bakugou ships, and afaik, the communities are not on good terms lmao. I don't think anyone on this blog is that intense or even really cares, but in case someone does, I want to say that I come in peace. I just like talking about the potential dynamics between characters I like while I wait intently for chapter spoilers. These impressions are also subject to change because I'm still learning.

Okay, so the tl;dr is: It's a tie. The reader's preference is the tiebreaker.

Kirishima and Bakugou: Their dynamic, to me, is almost the perfect recreation of "the main character and their best friend who was there all along" that you see in a lot of early 2000s teen comedy movies. Idk if this is a hot take, but Kiri was Bakugou's first real friend. Like, I'm open to debate, but I feel like that's an objective fact. He's similar to Midoriya in that he holds a lot of admiration for Bakugou, but unlike Midoriya, he doesn't idolize him to the point of putting him up on a pedestal. He actually, iirc, doesn't like Bakugou very much at first, but we see him get to know and care about Bakugou as a person - not as a rival or a personal symbol of victory or subject to analyze/copy - over the course of the series.

And in response, Bakugou embraces him as a friend (wow, imagine that, you take the time to get to know someone, and not their reputation or your imagined version of them, and they like you!). Kiri's the only person he trusts enough to accept help from and spend time with outside of class (hiking, studying etc). And, ik I've said this before, but that's pretty significant for a character like Bakugou. My impression of Kiri is that he's honest, fearless and has a sensitive soul. And I think Bakugou respects that. This leans a little fanon, but I imagine he's had a lot of experience with people who give him disingenuous compliments with ulterior motives over the course of his life, so meeting Kiri, someone who's so open and patient with him, must have been a breath of fresh air. They are good for each other!

Unfortunately, from the Hori interviews I've read and seen referenced, their friendship was meant to be a stepping stone to get Bakugou closer to the class, specifically Midoriya. That bums me out a little because I think their dynamic comes so naturally, and it's so wholesome. Bakugou is a lot less stressed with Kiri, though their relationship isn't perfect, but it's mostly typical relationship troubles (communication, insecurity on Kiri's end, insensitivity on Bakugou's end). I have my fingers crossed that they'll interact more in upcoming chapter since they're at Kamino currently, but I'm not getting my hopes up since well...see the first sentence of this paragraph.

Midoriya and Bakugou: Ahh yes. The turbulent one...which is weird to say considering how wholesome Midoriya seems to be on his own lol. But that's what's so compelling about their dynamic - you start reading and get a superficial impression of what they are, but the further into the series you get and the more you think about it, the more you realize how complicate it really is. And actually, Midoriya isn't much of a cinnamon roll at all.

Like 2Doc, there are varying levels obsession and codependency here. Midoriya's low self-esteem compounded with his idolization of heroes and hero society contributes significantly to how he views and interacts with Bakugou. I feel like he's already thinking of Bakugou as a pro-hero as far back as in middle school, and treats him as such - someone he wishes he could be like but also wants to beat, but also someone he wants respect and friendship from. In turn, Bakugou responds harshly, not only because he can't quite figure out what the hell Midoriya truly wants, but also because he recognizes his selflessness and determination to save others very early on in their lives. He recognizes that Midoriya has qualities that make a good hero, qualities that he also lacks (initially). Midoriya's selflessness scares him, and I think he admits that out loud somewhere before the war arc (and oddly enough, we're seeing that perhaps he had a good reason to be scared in the current chapters...but that's a different discussion). As as result they start off in this volatile relationship where they don't understand each other, but can't get away from one another.

That being said, this story is about them and they are both very important to one another. That's indisputable, imo. You'll see different takes as to whether or not the build up to their impending reconciliation was well-executed. I'm of the opinion that overall, it was. Despite the odd ways he's expressed it, it's clear Midoriya has always cared about Bakugou and that he would do pretty much anything for him, and Bakugou over time, has realized how he misinterpreted Midoriya's attempts at friendship when they were younger and is trying to give him a chance to be a friend. There's no room to go over it all here, but they've been learning from each other over the entirety of the story, and will continue to learn from one another until the bitter end lol. Currently, their roles are essentially reversed, and we see Bakugou repeating lessons Midoriya used to try to teach him, back at him. That's some nice character development an angst right there. Bakugou is exponentially more stressed with Midoriya, but the feelings are also more intense, there's more drama...I'm still low-key hoping they fight again. Heh.

[lesbiansforboromir]

sorry, not to start a discourse or anything, just another adult making their point of view, but if you insist Tolkien is a racist, valar are assholes etc etc etc then why do you read it? I tend to toss those writers I disagree with. Again, I'm not denying what you say, but it looks more like a headache rather than something you enjoy reading. I think everyone is free to like, ship or do whatever they please to be honest

This is not an honest message. It should be very obvious why I read this book. If you had read any of the other lotr posts I’ve made on this blog you would know why I read it, so the premise of this question is very disingenuous. The vast majority of my lotr content isn’t about racism and I would say it’s pretty clear I’m having a great time. 

What this message is trying to do is reinforce this concept that racism within Tolkien (and fandoms in general) is a surface level personal problem that people can take or leave and that begins and ends in impact with individual reader perception. As though my stopping reading the book would be the end of the issue. As though the only reason I discuss Tolkien is this self destructive need to criticise something, and not out of the honest wish to critically examine a narrative and world I am very much in love with. 

The equating here of my commentary on Tolkien’s racist themes with my meta discussion on whether the Valar can be considered good in-universe is also misdirecting. These are not in any way similar issues or discussions. Analysing flaws in characters in a story is not the same as drawing attention to the undeniable racist opinions the author of a book both held and used as inspiration when creating his story. One of these things I discuss because I enjoy debating plots and characters in a story. The other I talk about to further my own and other’s understanding of those racist themes so that we can all continue to enjoy engaging with the books without perpetuating those racist themes. 

I don't think I should have to explain why 'adults can like what they like' is a red herring here. It is too general to be pertinent but obviously as a lotr fan I agree people can like lotr. The point is people are also perfectly able to like something and critically examine it at the same time. 

Lastly, I don’t insist Tolkien is a racist or that he consciously used racist concepts to craft parts of Middle Earth and it’s story. He does, both in personal letters and in public radio interviews that you can still listen too on the bbc site. It is unambiguous. So if you like Tolkien, then it's something you also have a stance on, even if that stance is ignoring it.

[lesbian-vmin]

I think vmin is real wouldnt it be mean for them to intentionally look romantic with things like 4 o’clock and saying each other soulmates? and how there songs connected.

Seemed like I should answer this.

I don’t wanna say vmin is real because of 4 o’clock and because they call each other soulmates. Let’s talk about those two things first.

Let’s talk about 4 o’clock first. While it’s clear that 4 o’clock is about Jimin (seriously come fight me) because Taehyung confirmed that himself, that doesn’t necessarily confirm them being romantic. (This post will be a mess, but below the cut)

I think many people believe the lyrics of 4 o’clock are romantic, and that’s why many anti-vmin shippers and many anti-shippers (different than non-shippers) in general want to try to argue about the fact that the song is, indeed, about Jimin. This was argued against when Namjoon initially said (and then deleted) that the feeling in the song was inspired specifically by Jimin. Taehyung had described the feeling that he wanted the song to give, and he talked about waiting on a friend. When Namjoon asked him if he had any specific friend in mind, his answer was Jimin. He ended up deleting the part about Jimin with no explanation as to why, so a lot of people said that it wasn’t. However, three years later, we get a new confirmation from Taehyung himself (and Jimin) that the song was, indeed, about Jimin. 

No. He might not have said Jimin specifically. He just said that he wrote it about the time of the dumpling incident, and it was about their fight in the park. Whoever wants to come at me and say that doesn’t mean it’s about Jimin....really. I’m not saying 4 o’clock is a romantic song, okay? But it’s about Jimin because why would Taehyung write an entire song inspired by a moment that happened between him and Jimin when the song has nothing to do with him? Whether or not it’s a romantic song is a different story. But...it’s about them making up in the park, which means that the only person it can possibly be about is Jimin. And people can write songs for friends. It’s not like you write a song for/about someone, and it automatically has to be romantic. People write songs for friends and family all the time. But you know. Tumblr and how everything has to be romantic or nothing at all, so...

But anyway. That whole disclaimer paragraph is a little off topic from the ask. There’s really no lyrics in the song that specifically make it a romantic song. There are some deep meaning lyrics, and some might argue that the reference to the movie make it a romantic song. Specifically about a gay romance since the movie is a gay movie? I don’t know much about the reference, but here’s a block quite from Genius to explain the connection? Whether the song actually references that movie...I’m not sure. I’ve never seen anything where either Namjoon nor Taehyung specifically bring up the movie, so whether that’s true or not is still debatable to me until it comes from one of them themselves. Or if someone can provide the source in which they said so..because I honestly don’t remember them ever saying it. But it might just be a detail I’ve forgotten or something I’ve never seen. (BTS has way too much content for me to keep up with everything.)

RM references the 2016 film, Moonlight, which tells the story of a young, gay, African-American man growing up in Miami. One of its signature lines is:

Runnin' around, catching up all that light. In moonlight, black boys look blue.

Many of the main character’s moments of vulnerability and self-discovery take place under the moonlight. The play on which the film was based was also called, “In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue.”

Even so. The reference to the movie, if true, still doesn’t necessarily have to mean that it’s a gay love song. Because why that movie was referenced might not be because of the ‘gay’ part of the movie but the ‘moonlight’ part? I don’t know.

On a side note, I somehow think it’s sweet to think that Taehyung was telling Namjoon he was waiting on “a friend” instead of just outright saying Jimin. Part of me likes to wonder if Taehyung was a little shy about telling him it was Jimin when he asked. Another part of me wonders if Namjoon asked him about the specific friend because he had a feeling it was Jimin. (Also, I’m 98% sure that “the moon” that goes to sleep in the song is Jimin. I don’t think it’s a literal line. I think it’s a metaphor. And I think “the moon” is Jimin, and I don’t have to go into my justifications for that because there’s plenty of confirmation (from Taehyung himself) that he sees Jimin as the moon. Those aren’t theories. He literally says it himself.)

All that being said, I’m not trying to negate the possibility of the song being romantic, either. Because it is possible that it’s romantic, too. There’s just no guarantee. The song feels romantic to me, but that doesn’t mean it is.

Moving on, let’s talk about Friend and them calling each other soulmates.

The term soulmates is has a deep meaning, but that doesn’t mean it has to be romantic. It just shows there’s a deep connection between two people. Many languages use this term as something that can possibly be platonic, and even people who speak English sometimes use this as a platonic term. So, needless to say, the part in Friends in which they call each other soulmates doesn’t really confirm romance to me. In fact, it’s the least suspicious, potentially romantic part of the song. To me.

I think something that stands out more is the intimate “Hello, my alien” line and promises to stay together. I could be wrong about the intentions behind “my alien”, but it does feel pretty intimate to me. I’m stating this as an English speaker (though some English speakers may still disagree with my explanation depending on the individual and specific friend culture), and the fact that the lyric was written in English instead of Korean. Typically when we say “my x” it’s pretty intimate. It’s okay to address you friend, “Hello, my friend” but most of the time, adding anything else is a little different. An usually reserved for children or romantic partners. “My baby” “my sweetie” “my love” “my dear” “my star” etc. And, while it’s possible that friends joke around with friends and might say “my wifie” to their best friend, it’s usually in a joking manner. If the lyric was written in Korean, there could be a little more ambiguity here because Korean’s use “our” instead of “my” for many things. If you translate literally, a Korean woman calls her husband “our husband”, but that doesn’t mean she’s sharing her husband with anyone. So the choice to make the lyric in English makes the line seem a little more possessive and intentional to me. Because he’s not our alien (he’s expressed his dislike for being called that). He’s Jimin’s alien.

There are some pretty deep, potentially romantic lyrics in Friends. But again, nothing to be confirmed. Because it’s not obviously romantic. Or strictly romantic.

Still, them calling each other soulmates could be platonic, too.

And now. As for their song connections, I assume you’re talking about how Vmin bloggers often compare their songs and link the songs together. While I see all the possible connections, and they can certainly be suspicious to those of us who make those connections, it’s all just theories. Until Vmin themselves link their songs together, we can only assume that the connections we draw are based in our heads and unintentional. It’s a little silly to say they’re mean for unintentionally creating songs for us to connect to each other. They might not even think of the connections themselves, and it’s just coincidental that they go together so well when we get to analyzing it.

All that being said. I’m not trying to deny the possibility of their songs actually being linked. Because I’m one of the people who can see the connection. But I’m also highly aware of how human minds naturally notice patterns and make connections even without realizing it. And, while I like to think I’m impartial because of my reasoning behind shipping vmin, it doesn’t eliminate the possibility of me still being biased based on that. Because our minds naturally look for confirmation to affirm our own thoughts. It’s why you’re (probably) more likely to be drawn to articles and blogs that stand on the same side as you. Because it’s thought confirming instead of thought provoking.

On the other hand. There are vmin bloggers that say a lot of things I disagree with. Which is actually why I started talking about Vmin on here. Because I don’t necessarily agree with other vmin bloggers. Not saying they’re wrong and I’m right. But I just wanted to share another perspective than the others were giving. I think that’s why any of us start sharing.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

[la5t-res0rt]

Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

[levyfiles]

I want to start a shyan blog but I’m so scared because I don’t know how Shane and Ryan actually feel about it which makes me nervoussssssss help

Ohhh boy, brace yourself, nonnyhunny. I’ve got some word vomit for ya

To start off with, I just want anyone and everyone who is currently new to navigating this terrain we call the internet to know one thing and that is this one very important concept. Embrace your own insignificance! The internet is a big place. I once read a post on here that encouraged new users to think of Tumblr itself like you’re walking into a Walmart. You’re not here to make friends and you’re not here to shop for everyone else; you’re filling your own cart with the things you need and like and if someone comes along and takes a long good look at the things in your cart and says, “WOAH there, eating trans fats is unhealthy for you! I never eat trans fats because of a big list of reasons! Stop buying trans fats!!” you’re gonna be both puzzled and annoyed because it’s your cart, your Walmart experience; why the hell do they care what you’re gonna get?

However! I get it, the internet is now comprised of six different websites/apps and if you’re on there, there is no way to avoid or curate a completely ideal sense that you’ve made a space that’s all your own. There are going to be people who disagree with you, people who decide they don’t like what you do, but ultimately, in the midst of all that, you’re going to find people who feel the same in whatever regard you express yourself and that’s why it’s important to just express yourself because otherwise you’re going to develop a lot of disingenuous connections with people who would likely try to ruin your life if you disagree with them on some subject or other.

Now with that whole disclaimer in mind, I also understand where you’re coming from. Putting myself in the shoes of someone just trying to participate in a new fandom where there is a lot of contention among the masses about the rights and wrongs of RPF and whether the concept fits in with a philosophical debate about human nature and the way we interact with each other, witness each other’s journeys. That’s simply it, however; it’s an ongoing debate and where philosophy and debate are concerned, I always hold the belief that an individual’s right to ground themselves and say “These are the principles I wish to abide by” is sacred and ultimately, no amount of anonymous hatred or shrieking messages of outrage is gonna change that until you yourself decide that the principle isn’t working for you personally. My principle is that it’s fiction; an AU to explore as valid and sweet to me as demon!Shane headcanons are, but moreso because I identify with queer love stories and friendships forged by strangely deep similarities and complementing souls. I also love personalities like theirs, love the idea of said friendship and what it would bring to a story about two human beings who meet by happenstance and end up building something world-changing together. Still, because I am just a writer and a consumer of media, that’s the nicest thing I can give myself, a fictional account of these things while witnessing the real version happen in parallel. I get to celebrate in the overlap of similarities the real world and my fictional account take and watch it inspire my friends and mutuals to build their own universes and it’s beautiful. 

With that point being made, I also understand the reason a lot of people are nervous about being open about shipping. The backlash from a bunch of strangers seems to take on a note that would make even the nicest person sound like a puritan about to hold some extravagant witch trials. Nothing more interesting than a person claiming to do good in the world using words like “exterminate” “cleanse” or my personal favourite “purge”. I’ve read rumours being spread about shippers that take on their own life especially because it’s human nature to let other people handle the research; it’s human nature to just take a believable narrative at face value. One rumour being that shippers of this fandom write stories where we kill off Shane and Ryan’s significant others. Myself and my friends who are avid readers of the ao3 tag know that that hasn’t been the case since 2016/17 and by all accounts, I have yet to find the fic where this happens (barring a tinsworth fic I’ve only heard about). Mind you, not many of us check out Wattpad but even there it’s more self-insert friendly with themes I can’t even stomach. 

Which leads me to the last point and the main reason you sent this ask, I’m assuming. Ryan and Shane’s personal thoughts on the issue. Now, it behooves me to supply screenshots and proof when I make a claim but let’s consider if instead from the perspective of two adult men who have operated online far longer than a lot of their audience. Given that I am the same age as Shane, I know what the internet used to look like and how far it’s come and RPF is not a brand new thing neither did it pop up out of nowhere when One Direction debuted. And just like fanfiction in and of itself had its pushback from media because of its demographic and absolutely because of its queer-leanings, RPF appears to get a lot of that same energy, but it’s not an inherently toxic past time. Much like any fandom activity, it can get bad because fandom is not a monolith; it’s a bunch of individuals enjoying a medium in the ways they have learned to. You’re gonna get some individuals who “do it wrong” and some who do it differently, but ultimately, just like the forums and the reddit threads Shane and Ryan trawl in their past time, there are circles you learn not to veer into and terms you learn to blacklist/block/mute. With that being an indication of where they’re coming from as internet creators, I am confident when I say that, as long as it’s not being mailed to them, linked or quoted at them, they don’t care. They would know something that gets popular on the internet summons a brand of transformative art and fiction but much like they tend to ignore thirst tweets in their mentions or the repetitive requests for the same things over and over. They’d see it and gloss right over it. Shane is the type who writes long essays on reddit addressing the things that bother him, Ryan is weird and vocal and an oversharer sometimes when it comes to things Shaniacs say to him (i.e. that Voice he did for the occasional Shaniac who approaches him). It’s just one of the incarnations of fandom that they choose not to engage with, which, good? Because it’s a fan-specific activity. Once in a while you get a creator who wants to interact with fanfiction and it goes sideways because not all stories are written for them, much like not all fanart is made with the mindset to share with them. 

It’s just a regular old fan interaction and community habit that builds bigger followings. 

All in all, I’m not gonna tell you what to do. Unless you mean to be in their @’s all the time or link them on discord, or put any of your content in their hands, they are not going to see it. They don’t care. What they do care about is that you’re watching, that you support them and send them encouragement because they’re creating their own medium of content and a bigger following means more people get to see it and extract something positive from it.