#still can’t believe the years ending-
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Happy new year!! 🥳
Honestly, getting into the welcome home fandom was the best thing that happened to me. I met a bunch of amazing people, i cant imagine being without them <3 To all my friends, mutuals, followers, Clown, and the welcome home team, thank you for brightening up my year 💛💐
#honestly I’d tag every mutual but#oh boy that would be a lot-#and I’m shy 👉👈#YALL KNOW WHO U ARE THO#love u all <3#also yall gonna remind me to post on tumblr…#wack me over the head!!!#bribe me!!#whatever it takes!!!#welcome home#my art#welcome home fanart#undertale au#sans undertale#papyrus undertale#welcome home oc#new year#many many tags#ngl gonna go cry HAH#still can’t believe the years ending-#it was kinda ass- until I found wh#anyways rambling over#<3
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happy one year since ch100 to those who celebrate!!!
#the nightlife arc officially ending with this..#but i can’t believe it’s been a year…#it’s still so clear in my mind when it came out#damn#mitsukou#tbhk#jshk#toilet bound hanako kun
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I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover
#IM GOING TO CRY. I am part of the system I never wanted anything to do with it#I killed so many people without laying a hand on them. I never ever asked for this. I tried to say no. my hands are still bloody.#both turned to drugs to cope. both had a mentee who reminded them of someone they hated so much#(snow reminded the dean of his old friend. katniss reminded haymitch of himself)#both knew exactly how the games worked and all of its consequences because one made it and the other lived it#both lived in the shadows of the past and never really got out from it#but in the end one of them chose to be cruel to the children who they were asked to mentor#and the other loved even when it was killing him#god. twenty three years and they never managed to drown the fire out of him. his heart broke again and again#but he held onto those shards even as they made his hands bleed. and then one day two children appeared and pieced it back together#and some of it was missing and always would be. you can’t undo twenty three years of alcoholism and pain and grief and self loathing#but a lot of it was still there. far more than he ever even believed could have survived#Haymitch I love youuuuuuuuu I will always love you#and Dean Highbottom you were kinda cringe and lame. guynobody ass bitch. do better#haymitch abernathy#dean highbottom#thg#the hunger games#a ballad of songbirds and snakes#abosas
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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my heart aches for solas
#I still can’t believe we’re going to get some kind of resolution to their story by the end of the year#like it doesn’t seem real#i want to be excited for rook#and i am#but it’s so hard when all i can think about is solavellan#solas#solas dragon age#da4#dragon age: the veilguard#solavellan
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dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.
though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality
#however i will accept an absence of dandelion IN THE CASE OF we get to see geralt and yennefer living together in vengerberg#but if it’s regular geralt day in the life then if dandelion’s not there it’s gonna suuuuuccckk#i mean as in geralt’s life sucks without him. badly#and it also? sucks with him. good-ly.#it’s august and we don’t have a title yetttt 🥲 and they said 2024 … hmhm sure#i just feel like rupaul ‘and don’t fuck it up’.gif#like i’m excited but also wtf? new witcher book? are we on punk’d?#it’s not going to be the best but i’m hoping it will be at least as good as season of storms. not a high bar ok!#this from the person who was optimistic about the n*tflix show. don’t trust me i like to believe in the future#i was going to say ‘and i trust sapkowski more than i trust n*tflix’ and then i laughed.#i don’t trust him—i don’t even trust the version of him from the 90s and 00s!#one side of me can’t believe i’m still here after the guardswomen of kerack. and the ‘well i’m only gay for clout’ villain motivations#the other side of me is intensely curious wtf geralt will get up to this time and how witcher could maybe even denigrate further#but season of storms ending was actually good and = well it’s not like sapkowski forgot what it was about#then again it’s been 10 years and a bad adaptation since then so im biting my nails#all i ask : please stick with the naming convention of the other books. i don’t want to write an absurdly long or short name or acronym out#sooooo weird that in a few months i will be saying: there are 9 witcher books.#actually rn i just say there’s 7 and discount season of storms as a legitimate heir but mention it as footnote lol#i just hope i can survive until this new book and until its translation LOLLLL#they said translation in 2025 but you know the track record#new book: *releases winter 2024* | english translation: coming 2045!#jk i think they finally figured out that witcher is a money printer so they will be eager to translate it now and not waffle around#they kicked their butts into gear with the hussite trilogy so ! and they made new hardcovers.#the elbow-high diaries#new book 2024
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#the party ended 4 years ago and he’s still here#he = Me#Not a friend exactly but certainly not an enemy . should i die Suzanne collins#tbosas#sejanus plinth#marcus tbosas#i still can’t believe he doesn’t have a canon surname like i’m mad as hell
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Congrats on finishing Ghost Trick! How was it?
I cannot BELIEVE I WAS A FUCKING [redacted] THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME
(More detailed and spoilery review in the tags)
#that aside though it was really cute#it’s not a secret that I think that romantic relationships are overrated#that friendship is much more important and meaningful and stronger#but I neglect to add that the love between an owner and a pet is also very strong and meaningful#and seeing that not just in the game#but in the way that the game itself is in a way a love letter from Shu Takumi to his own dog#who is no longer with us#and how even though the game flopped on the DS#they still gave it a second chance 13 years later#giving missile’s memory and legacy a second chance but in HD this time#even though he’s not here to see it and he’s a dog so even if he was he wouldn’t understand it#I cried a little at the end thinking about that#and that that’s really so much of what the game is about…#I’m not a dog person#any dog chihuahua or larger freaks me out cause I was attacked when I was younger#but still seeing the love for a dog that is instrinctly linked in the DNA of this game#it got me#but i still can’t believe I WAS A FUCKING CAT THE ENTIRE TIME#LIKE I HAD CAUGHT ON THAT I PROBABLY WASN’T ACTUALLY THE GUY ON THE BOX ART#AND THAT RAY WAS MASTERMINDING THE WHOLE THING FOR WHATEVER REASON#BUT I STILL THOUGHT I WAS A HUMAN????#Parker’s asks#ghost trick#ghost trick spoilers
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i finally finished evil cbs i’m going through so much right now
#evil cbs#evil paramount#IM INSANE. THE BABY IS STILL EVIL?!!! AND KRISTEN KNOWS YET IGNORES IT HANDLCJZKJXXKXK#ILL SAY THIS IS THE PERFECT SHOW FOR A CONTINUATION LIKE 10-20 YEARS FROM NOW#like. what the FUCK#am i crazy for thinking future laura is still future laura ?#like yes kristen’s explanation makes sense. but i do believe#plus her saying some things could potentially spoil them and make them not come true#like david leaving priesthood for her etc#still convinced ben is going to join them. he can not survive at that job without going further insane#i am glad it was left open ended though like whatever happens next is whatever we imagine it to be#but also it feels like such a prequel. like shit will likely go down years in the future and thats when things get really bad#i also love that though#like thats not the point of this story#its not to say that story can’t be eventually told one day#evil the show that you are. you will always stay in my heart#easily the best show i’ve seen in a long time#evilposting#my posts
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UM, HELLO?????
SUPER SWING Hana and Danielle is now alt. Seymour too???
#six the musical#six west end#six chaos#danielle rose#hana stewart#odd cover choices but still very exciting to see#Hana can finally get the swingo she deserves#six really can’t get rid of it’s orange alts lmfao#I wonder if Danielle’s gonna wear a principal Seymour outfit since Hannah Lowther has her costume#also there’s no way Hana is gonna wear her old costume#it’s like 5 years old at this point.#I honestly have a feeling that Erin Caldwell is gonna be principal Seymour for the rest of the 23-25 run#since I believe the tour contracts end in September
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i would like to stop being emotionally affected by this break up/being cheated on!
#i’m so fucking sick of feeling sad for ‘no reason’ bc then i go ‘oh. right. i am sad for a reason.’#every two seconds i’m reminded that i wasn’t worth a text message saying the relationship was over.#not only was he cheating! he straight up just….. didn’t respect us enough to send a fucking text.#i know it’s all on him but i still feel like shit because of his inactions????#i can’t believe my bpd episode earlier this year was completely and utterly justified (and was mostly triggered by him lmfao)#i hate that i want a different type of closure. this isn’t the ending i wanted.#h.txt
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personally i believe a theme of S3 is going to be about absolutely schooling aziraphale.
i love that angel sm but as much as crowley has his things to learn he knows what’s Up, literally. aziraphale will be schooled every episode and it will hurt him (and us) but he will grow and there will inevitably have an ending where both of them were just enough right about things to come together and make Things right
#I do believe that aziraphale will end up being able to pull whatever Good he can out of a essentially Bad situation#using the optimism and goodness that we all love about him#but he will learn very concretely about the things he’s still rose colored glasses about#in turn Crowley will be lifted as he always is from his place of fear and running by aziraphales strength and determination to make things#Right#it will be a beautiful balance#with a whole lot of angst and pain in between :)#I can’t believe we have to wait like 3 years for this show girl I will be… so much older#still thinking about these fuckers#good omens#good omens season 3#ineffable husbands#mine
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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I am fINALLY working on one of my fics again
Because goddammit this TBS fic series I’m writing needs to continue
#tbs#the bright sessions#fanfic#so help me god I will give Damien the happy ending in this series I’m writing that he deserves#he has Been Through It#it’s the only solid idea my bipolar manic ass had last year that I’m following through with#still can’t believe tbs got me my bipolar diagnosis#thank u Lauren Shippen for writing something that spoke so hard to my mania my brain went ‘let’s go apeshit for 7 months’
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I’m sorry after not acknowledging the coyotes existence the nhl acknowledges them on a random monday morning, like what the fuck
#like seriously#nhl look me in the fucking eyes#I still can’t believe they didn’t include the coyotes in their 2024 year end review#26 fucking year and nothing not a fucking peep#.txt
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hand binding a fanfic (fic author has granted blessing, someone else pre-formatted it) for my friend for xmas and it’s taking me so much longer than i thought just to stitch together bc i keep getting transfixed reading the top and center pages of each signature with this ->😦🫨 emotion
#sort of a ‘can’t believe there’s still so much we can learn about each other after 12+ years’ situation#NOT a dig at my friend or this fic. life is just amazing#it’s dramione. in a way it’s beautiful to open my first dramione fic since the fanfiction dot mugglenet dot com days of yore#and see that dramione fic is still the same. post-war bad end sex trafficking with an emotional twist finds a way i suppose#malunk speaks#harry potter mention
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