#stella lashes

[casually-salad]

even in manehattan

[its-to-the-death]

Battle of the Gingers Wave 1 Preliminary Round #8

Whoever gets the most votes moves onto the next wave

[neatfrog]

I’m honestly surprised at myself for not noticing/thinking about how Stolas was very likely triggered by Blitzø stomping after him and screaming/insulting him because he dealt with it so much from Stella. As someone who has *been* in an abusive relationship, it takes so long to get out of that fight or flight mindset where you just shut down the second someone starts yelling (at least in my case). It’s been like 8 years now and I still flinch at loud voices even if they’re not directed at me.

soooo yeah I don’t blame Stolas for booting him out at that point

[pama-saga]

(Have some silly little pets. Can you tell which design I struggled so hard with?)

(Neither of them, actually! It was just LLUNA'S DAMN SCARF I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I AM GOING TO-)

[hattafan2593]

Helluva Boss: The Circus - Alternate Ending

So I noticed that a lot of people really don't like the way Stella is characterized in Season 2. I personally have no problem with her characterization - sometimes people are just assholes. No tragic backstory. No motive. And honestly, she's just so cartoonishly evil that I can't help but love to hate her. That said, I do see where people are coming from, and it does kind of downplay some of Stolas' flaws and portrays him more sympathetically than he actually is. While I do believe Stolas is sympathetic, and I want him to improve and grow as a person, it doesn't change the fact that his relationship with Blitzo is still mega toxic, that Stolas is a member of a privileged class with little knowledge or empathy for those below him, or that he spent the entire first season doing as he pleased with little to no regard for how his actions affected those around him, including his own family.

So, without further ado, here's my attempt at a more nuanced look at Stella and Stolas' relationship, via an alternate ending to Season 2, Episode 1 - The Circus. Enjoy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STELLA: The fuck are you doing?

STOLAS: Reflecting.

STELLA: Well, keep it down. Via's in her room, and I suspect she's trying to sleep. (Turns to walk back inside)

STOLAS: ...Why are you still here?

STELLA: (Stops, irritated) What?

STOLAS: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on weekends but then stay around the house despite everything.

STELLA: I live here, too, Stolas, last I checked. And unlike some people, I don't run away from my responsibilities.

STOLAS: Oh yes, I can see just how busy you've been. Between the shopping trips and gossiping with your girlfriends. Truly, how do you find the time to even breathe?

(Stella stomps over to Stolas, shoving a finger in his face)

STELLA: You have some fucking gall, speaking to me like that! After what you did-

STOLAS: I KNOW WHAT I DID!

(Stella steps back, stunned. Stolas runs a hand over his face.)

STOLAS: I would feel bad if I had hurt you, but we both know I didn't do that!

STELLA: You dare-

STOLAS: Oh, come on, Stella! There was never any love between us! You and I were arranged for one reason - to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more!

STELLA: Yes, Stolas. I am perfectly aware of my status as a brood mare, thank you for reminding me.

STOLAS: (sighs) I tried, Stella. I know I was and am far from perfect but I did try, for so many years. To make things comfortable for us, to have this family, but it was never enough.

(Stella rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Stolas continues.)

STOLAS: The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty is so that girl can have a normal life!

(Stella starts cackling)

STOLAS: What is so funny?

STELLA: Cruelty? You think what I've done is cruelty?

(Stolas puffs up in indignation, but starts backing away as Stella stomps up to him, getting in his face.)

STELLA: You spoiled, overgrown child! You don't know what cruelty is! And what's this tripe about "a normal life?" Normal? By Satan, have you always been this delusional?!

(Stella steps back, throws out her arms for emphasis.)

STELLA: Newsflash, husband! Octavia is a Goetia! She is never going to have a normal life! No matter how she acts or how she dresses, she will always have royal blood in her veins! Nothing you or I do will ever change that, and the denizens of Hell are certainly not going to let her forget it! Especially not after this latest spectacle of yours!

(Stolas' face becomes horrified - his eyes turn to pinpricks)

STOLAS: ...what?

STELLA: (exasperated) You were seen publicly, Stolas! In a goddamned sex club, with an imp! Did you really think word wouldn't spread?! (puts her hands on her hips) And who do you think has had to deal with the fallout of your little dalliances? Who do you think has to deal with the gossip, the rumors, the contempt? Here's a hint - it's not you!

(Stolas flinches back slightly.)

STELLA: (shaking her head, bitterly) Men like you and my brother are all the same. You do as you please with no thought or care to how your actions affect others. And meanwhile, women like me have to deal with fake sympathy and speculation from the masses over how we are such failures as wives that our husband find the company of peasants more appealing.

(Stolas is stunned silent. Stella turns away from him, her arms folded.)

STELLA: I don't expect you to love me, Stolas. Or even like me. But whether you like it or not, we are married. And at the bare minimum, I expect some modicum of respect as your wife.

(Stolas turns aways, gripping his arm. His face is full of guilt. But then he turns back, his face becoming blank.)

STOLAS: Respect goes both ways, Stella. And you'll have to forgive me if I can't respect someone who publically shames my performance in bed, or tries to have me assassinated, right in front of our child.

STELLA: Oh please, she had her headphones on. And it's not like it even worked. You're still here aren't you?

STOLAS: (bitterly) Sorry to disappoint you.

(Bitter silence.)

STOLAS: (sigh) ...Look, this...this isn't working. I cannot do this anymore.

STELLA: Meaning what?

STOLAS: I want a divorce. I do not want to be married to you anymore. I want out.

STELLA: (laughs bitterly) Of course. You realize that the Goetia family will not take this lying down? Andrealphus especially-

STOLAS: I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks.

STELLA: That much is obvious.

STOLAS: And as far as the Goetia are concerned, the only thing they care about is already 17.

STELLA: ...So that's it. We're done.

STOLAS: Yes. We're done.

STELLA: (deep breath) Fine. It's late. I will sleep in the guest room, and then we will both explain things to Octavia in the morning.

STOLAS: (nodding) That's fair.

(Stella turns to leave)

STOLAS: Stella...for what it's worth-

STELLA: Save it. The words of a traitorous embarrassment are worth nothing. You've fallen from what little grace you had. And I know you'll pay for it. You and that little plaything of yours.

STOLAS: Leave him out of this!

(Stella keeps walking.)

STOLAS: Stella! I mean it! Hate me if you must, but I will not let you threaten-

STELLA: It's not a threat, it's a fact. (turns around) You have made him part of this little game of yours. You have dragged him into the spotlight, Stolas. And sooner or later, he will be eaten alive.

(Stolas staggers back, his face a mask of rage and shock.)

STELLA: (suddenly very tired) I don't pretend to understand your feelings for that imp, but if you truly care for him at all...you will let him go.

(As Stella goes inside, Stolas' fist shake with rage and become sheathed in his magic. He turns, roaring, and slams his magic covered fist down on the balcony railing, causing it to crack and crumble slightly. Stolas then collapses on the ground, weeping.)

(Cut to Stella walking down a hallway. Her eyes are in shadow as her mouth contorts, a single tear forming and threatening to fall. Stella furiously scrubs it away, then straightens, her face a mask of cold regality. She continues down the hall.)

(End.)

[seraphimcestuous]

stella & stolas had the messiest drunk sex in the bathroom at the fuck blitz party, you will not change my mind.

[milafm2002]

hello everyone here are some albums I got as CDs so far in 2024

#1 Radiate Like this - Warpaint ( 2022 )

#2 Blue Weekend - Wolf Alice ( 2021 )

#3 Gran Turismo - The Cardigans ( 1998 )

#4 Two Suns - Bat For Lashes ( 2009 )

And Last But Not Least

Post - Björk ( 1995 )

[rusty-lustful-fireflies]

I like thinking about how Blitzø and Stolas are compatible in their messed up ways, but there's one clear incompatibility between them, on ground on their unresolved traumas;

Blitzø has anger issues, overactive fight reaction

while Stolas has been verbally attacked & abused by Stella for at least 17 years

Stolas has avoidant issues, overactive flight reaction

while Blitzø has been abandoned and ignored by many people practically whole his life

So it fucks with their relationship.

In Ozzie's Stolas avoids confrontation, Blitzø feels he's ashamed of him and gets upset and aggressive after giving Stolas a lift.

Later in the series, Stolas texts less and ,,gives Blitzø space" which makes Blitzø worried that he's not wanted anymore. Then when he's offered the crystal, it triggers him, making him convinced completely that he's being abandoned again. He jokes rudely, Stolas feels he's mocked and so he leaves, which causes Blitzø to lash out, which causes Stolas to kick him out...

They really need to resolve their internal problems first in order to work out

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Sweet yanderes who are so gentle with their darlings, handling them like they’re made of glass. They never raise their voice and hold their darling like they’ll break under the slightest pressure, terrified of harming their darling in any way.

Sweet yanderes who can be a bit overwhelming, always doing everything for their darling and making sure their always within eyeshot of them. They just don’t want their darling to strain themselves, is that so bad? Their darling won’t have to lift a finger as long as they’re around!

Sweet yanderes who would never hurt their darling, no matter how much they acted out. Yanderes who rely on rewards rather than punishment, giving their darling more privileges the longer they behave.

Sweet yanderes who want nothing more than to keep their darling safe. Sure, they kidnapped them and took away most of their freedom, but it was for their own good! They can’t have their darling being hurt and corrupted by the cruelty of the outside world, it would destroy them!

Sweet yanderes who make their darling as comfortable as possible as a way to make up for their lost freedoms. They’ll buy all their darlings favorite things, nab all of their comfort items just to keep them happy. They know what they’ve done is upsetting but eventually, if they keep treating their darling well, they’ll see that it was for the best. They have all they need where they are anyways!

Sweet yanderes whose hearts break a little more every time their darling tries to escape or lash out. Why can’t they see that this is for the best? Aren’t they doing enough to keep their darling happy? Yanderes who work even harder to keep their darlings satisfied, doing anything and everything they ask (except for letting them go).

Sweet yanderes who would and do murder anyone standing in between them and their darling without regret, brutalizing their victim until the body’s almost unrecognizable. Yanderes who make sure their darling never finds out about what they’ve done, too afraid of scaring their darling even more than they already are.

Sweet yanderes who remind their darling how much they love them every day, gently kissing them on the forehead while snuggling up to them. It’ll all be ok in the end, they just need to give their darling a little time to adjust, eventually they’ll be living happily ever after, just the two of them.

Forever.

The sweet yanderes: MICAH, Rain, Stella, REN, Leo (kinda), GWEN, Ivy

[hassiegfrieddoneanythingwrong]

Day 247: A feature of Siegfried's appearance that I get heavily distracted by (besides his chest): his lashes.

[2truehearts]

i love scaramouche but

DO YOU SEE THOSE LASHES THO!?@#!@?#?!@ BRO IS GOING TO MISS UNIVERSE

HE'S GONNA WIN WITH FLYING COLORS HOLY DAMN

[askfordoodles]

A detail I don't see mentioned about the confrontation between Blitzø and Stolas is that while Blitzø is understandably angry and lashing out, he also ends his rant with an invitation to Stolas, imploring, no, demanding he meet him at his level, to get as angry as he is, to FIGHT HIM, right then and there.

We've seen frequently that imps are violent in general, they're originally native to Wrath, and we see that most of their bonding rituals often involve violence and/or bodily harm (just look at how much Millie and Sallie May messed each other up at the end and while being able to laugh about it; a broken bottle fight and broken bones is their version of a light-hearted pillow fight)

While Blitzø is also very self-destructive, even by Hell's standards, it should be noted that he's technically begging for Stolas to connect with him in this moment, to speak a language he understands. "At least respect me enough to fight me! If you care, why walk away? Get real with me, if we can't get physical with our genitals, then at least let us get physical with our fists!"

Unfortunately, Stolas has had the exact opposite cultural upbringing, having been taught his whole life that emotional outbursts are unseemly and improper, so his main go-to for conflicts is avoidance. He avoided confrontation with his father, he basically avoided Stella as much as he could even when she was openly shitting on him at parties; and ONLY just recently has he managed to stand up for himself and when he finally does, it's not to strike back, but simply stand his ground for once, emboldened his new-found love for Blitzø and the knowledge that his daughter isn't fooled by the act anymore and will soon be of age anyway.

It is not currently in Stolas' nature to be confrontational the way Blitzø desperately needs him to be.

Blitzø says: "Please, if you ever actually cared, you'd fight for us Get mad, show me that you care!"

What Stolas hears is just the most literal interpretation with zero subtext, because he isn't attuned to the subtleties of arguing and especially not what it looks like for imps, i.e. he focuses on the "I always hated you" interpretation.

Both gave the other an opening, but only heard dismissal, because it wasn't spoken in a language they were familiar with.

I'm not saying either handled things well here, Blitzø shouldn't immediately respond with anger and Stolas shouldn't default to walking away, that's my whole point.

I just thought it was an interesting angle that their differences aren't just societal (privilege/wealth/respect) but also cultural in how it influences how they each handle emotional confrontation, or, in the case of Stolas, how they don't.

[zarnzarn]

i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.

first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.

a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.

stolitz is nothing like that.

Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.

and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-

cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?

thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.

even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.

he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?

(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)

(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)

mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.

and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.

but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-

they're in a BDSM relationship.

I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.

if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!

but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.

now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.

in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.

and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.

both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.

and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!

stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright

blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages

ya see?

bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.

shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.

i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.

anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.

unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).

the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.

[asapeveryday]

Breath Me In

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Warnings: Smut (Fingering), weed, alcohol

Summary: Uconn’s end of summer party brings you all sorts of highs.

A/n: can you tell I like party settings??? Anyways. We need more fics of Paige receiving instead of always giving pls!! Someone please this girl!

Summer is coming to a close. Long August days turn to colder September nights, and the students of Uconn have mostly moved in for the new semester. A new year of college calls for a party.

Uconns annual end-of-summer party was an absolute staple to attend for seniors, richer students who lived in housing nearby often responsible for hosting. Summery rap and pop blasting, coolers and twisted tea by the gallons, string lights in big green backyards, patio furniture overrun by couples making out or slowly sobering up. It was a sight to behold, and you relished in the feeling of this, the beginning of the end of school.

When you make your way throughout the house, various people stop to talk to you, including the hostess herself.

Stella DeSantos is a trust fund girl who’s in her senior year for sports marketing, and this years lucky party organizer. She has the means, obviously, because the house is massive.

“So… gonna start the year off with some dick or what?” She laughs, already tipsy.

You just smile and shake your head. “I’m chill right now.” Is your reply. Honestly you just didn’t want to pull the ‘id rather have pussy’ card on her.

The girl swings an arm around you. “I could set you up with some really athletic guys if that’s your thing.” She hiccups. “Want a drink?”

She thrusts a mango white claw into your hand and you take it reluctantly. As much as you loved getting wasted the party was a bit too rowdy to feel comfortable. You were desperately searching for someone you knew well enough to hang out with that wasn’t already drunk, with no luck.

You stick by Stella for a while, standing by as she greets people and gets drunker by the minute. You’re still holding the same White-claw, though it’s mostly empty.

You’re scoping out the scene yourself, the house is filled with kids you’ve been in school with for the past years. Your gaze stops in the kitchen, where two girls reside. One tall with dark skin, hair slicked back and clothes baggy. You’d had classes with Aubrey Griffin before, she was intimidating but attractive.

The other girl was paler and slightly shorter, blonde hair tied back into a bun and glasses on her face.

“Paige!” Stella calls out, as if sensing your thoughts. She makes her way over to the two girls and you awkwardly follow behind. Everyone knows Paige Bueckers. She’s one of those students, everyone mostly likes her and she’s friends with all the right people. It puzzled you how someone so gay still attracted so many guys.

Stella talks to Aubrey and Paige, and they politely engage despite obviously being thrown off by how drunk she is. Their shared looks almost make you laugh. You take this as a chance to get a good look at Paige. She mostly stayed out of trouble or tough rumours, and kept to her main group of friends, so aside from her talent on the court you knew almost nothing.

You let yourself stare at her, noting her blue eyes, long lashes and wide smile. She carried herself confidently, but looked uncomfortable.

Finally she turns to meet your eye, and when her tongue flashes out to wet her lips you physically feel something in your stomach drop.

“You her babysitter or something?” She smirks.

“You’d think she knows how much she can handle by now.” You scoff. Stella barely notices, fully talking to Aubrey.

Paige’s eyes dart to the drink in your hand. “Good luck finding a ride home tonight.”

Before you can respond, maybe by telling her your name or sparking better conversation, Stella’s attention is drawn somewhere else and she starts to drag you away.

You turn to get one last look at Paige, and internally celebrate when your eyes meet.

-

As the summer sun finally began to set, it got a little too cold for everyone to be outside. The inside of the house was absolutely packed, the music was louder and the air was thicker. The smell of smoke and sound of people was starting to irritate you, but for whatever reason you didn’t want to leave just yet.

Stella was nowhere to be found and you were sitting on the kitchen counter next to some other girls, quietly sipping some drink while listening in to conversations. The original plan of staying mostly sober was ruined by your boredom, and though you weren’t drunk you felt significantly warmer and a little more confident.

“Oh, it’s you again.” A voice says. You turn to see it’s Paige and your heart skips a beat.

“I have a name.” You reply, not caring if you come off rude. She doesn’t seem to care either, just raising her eyebrows at you. “And it is?”

You tell her your name and she repeats it to herself with a smile. “I’m Paige.”

“I figured.” You laugh. The alcohol was making everything seem like less of a deal, had you talked to her more before you probably wouldn’t have been so casual.

“You drunk?” She asks, leaning against the counter across from you. At this angle you’re pretty much looking down at her, she looks cuter with her eyes wide and head tilted slightly upwards. You almost let your imagination get ahead of you.

“Getting there. You?”

Paige shakes her head no. “You don’t seem like much of a drinker.”

With a shrug, you say “This party is less fun than I thought it would be.”

“I’m gonna head outside if you’re tryna come.” She shrugs back.

You hop off of the counter and are reminded of the fact that Paige isn’t short. She seems happy that she’s not looking up at you anymore.

“Sure, why not.” You smile.

She leads you to the backyard and the sudden quiet is surprising. The music is muffled and the air is fresher, it’s a beautiful night and the yard is empty for the two of you. Paige heads straight for the pool, sitting down by the edge of the deep end and taking off her shoes, letting her legs dangle in the water. You join her and do the same.

“So you came to a party and you’re not drinking or getting high?” You ask her.

“Ah ah,” she smirks. “I’m getting high for sure, jus had to be a little sneaky. You can keep a secret, right?” Paige tilts her head at you, and you almost melt right there and then.

“I’m great at keeping secrets.” You eye her, tilting your head like she does. “But can all those people?” You gesture to the kids inside the house.

“Everyone in there is gonna be too drunk to remember me sneaking out for a blunt with a girl.” She finally breaks eye contact, reaching into her pocket for a tin of pre-rolled blunts.

She said ‘with a girl’ like her being with you could be a topic of conversation. The thought makes your mind race.

When Paige lights up and gets the first hit, her whole composure loosens.

The blue from the pool water reflecting onto her face, the slight glow of the blunt against her lips, the way she blows the smoke afterwards. It’s driving you insane.

You stare at your legs in the water, her pale ones next to yours. The night is beautiful. She’s beautiful. You wonder if she’ll remember anything tomorrow.

“Want sum?” Paige interrupts your thoughts, holding out the blunt. You know you shouldn’t mix weed with alcohol, but your heart is buzzing and her lips had already been on it, so you can’t say no.

Taking it from her nimble fingers (which you cursed yourself for even noticing) you inhale, letting the smoke fill you up before letting out a long breath, trying to ignore her sharp eyes on you.

“I’m surprised I haven’t noticed you around before.” She says, taking back the blunt. You let the statement linger in the air. For every hit you take, she takes three. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are already slightly pink.

“Are you not the noticing type?” You ask.

Paige’s eyes meet yours. “Are you?”

You laugh and take the blunt from her, holding the smoke in before tilting your head back and blowing it into the night sky.

“I notice a lot of things.” you say, glancing at her lips before meeting her eyes again.

“Oh yeah?” She says quietly, analyzing your features. If it weren’t for the drinks and the weed, you would’ve felt like prey under her watch.

“Yeah.” You match her tone.

She’s closer than you remember her being. The air smells like weed and chlorine, but she smells like summer.

Nobody says anything, you just keep passing the blunt.

“What was your first time getting high like?” You ask her.

“Freshman year, me and some other girls on my team decided we were gonna do it together.” She chuckles and shakes her head. “Don’t know why we started with edibles, but we were still high the next morning.”

“Oh shit.” You laugh.

“Yeah,” she huffs “and we had practice that afternoon, must’ve gone through like 3 bottles of eye drops each. What about you?”

“Senior year of high school.” You cringe and she smiles at your expression. “My girlfriend- at the time, was kind of addicted. Didn’t seem like a big deal then, but she begged me to smoke and I did. It was whatever.”

“Girlfriend?” She asks.

“You’re surprised?” You chuckle. “Shit, you really don’t notice anything.”

“Shut up.” She flicks your shoulder. “Any girlfriend now?”

“Fuck no.”

“I feel that.” She blows smoke into the crisp air. There’s a moment of comfortable silence, you looking into the water and her looking at you, before she finally says “Can I try something?”

“Like what?” You ask.

You can tell her thinking is slightly hazy, she’s moving slower and her eyes are tired, it’s attractive.

“Lemme jus show you…don’t freak.”

Paige takes a hit, then leans into you. In an instance her lips are on yours, prying you open and exhaling smoke into your mouth, then she pulls away. You resist the urge to choke, but manage to exhale smoothly. Your lips tingle where she made contact with you, and you feel your face get red at her expression. Paige is practically entranced.

“Little warning would’ve been better next time.” You cough.

“We can try again if you want.” She smirks, and you roll your eyes.

Once again Paige takes a hit then leans into you, this time placing her hand on your face. She huffs the smoke inside your mouth and you gladly take it, now knowing what to expect. When she pulls away you don’t turn your head, you just blow out the smoke, letting it cloud both your vision and hers. When it clears she’s staring dead at your lips.

Her lips meet yours again, this time without any weed. She’s taking her time with you, tongue exploring your mouth attentively, one hand still on your face while the other finds your thigh.

Her hands are calloused and controlled against your skin, her glasses bump your face as you kiss her. Her lips are soft.

You let your hands wander too, dancing under her black t-shirt and gripping her waist. You can feel her abs, toned from her athletic lifestyle. You can only imagine the things you could do with her abs alone.

Her hand leaves your thigh and meets yours under her shirt, gripping your wrist she guides you to her sports bra, letting you get under it and feel her breasts.

She sighs into your mouth when you lightly pinch her nipples, her usually confident voice now almost needy.

Paige’s kisses trail down to your neck, licking and biting into your soft skin. You let your fingers ghost against her until they reach the waistband of her sweatshorts.

“Can I?” You whisper, eager to feel her.

“Fuck, yes.” She murmurs against you, sucking beautifully painted hickeys from your neck to your collarbone.

When your fingers rub her through her boxers you can hear her breathing change, and it’s doing things to you. Rubbing slow circles on her clit, you feel yourself getting wet.

“You let every girl down your pants, Paige?” You mumble. She stares up at you, eyes wide and bloodshot.

You relish in the way she bites her lip when your pace quickens, you can feel her slick through the boxer briefs and you can’t help but tease her. “So wet already…”

Finally you let your hand slip into her briefs, finding her entrance and teasing around her hole. Her hips jerk upwards, giving you room to move, offering herself to you. “Stop talking.” She grumbles, cheeks pink with embarrassment.

You connect with her lips again as your fingers finally dip inside of her, causing her to let a soft moan out. You realize suddenly that anyone inside the house could come outside and see you two, but with all the weed and alcohol you couldn’t care less, you couldn’t stop now, not when Paige was grinding against your fingers and letting out sweet whimpers into your mouth, her hands feeling you all over.

Breaking the kiss is the best decision you make, because you can actually see her. Her face is perfect, hair falling out of her bun, glasses sliding down her nose, her expression a sexy, needy pout, her tongue darting out to lick her lips.

You pick up the pace, pumping your fingers in and out of her and grinning as her whimpers get a little louder. The noise of her slick, her voice, the crickets outside and the muffled music is almost magical to you. Her blue eyes shining and glossy from the weed and the reflection of the water.

“Fuck.” She murmurs, covering her mouth. “Oh, fuck.”

Her hips are violently bucking now as you curl your fingers inside of her and use your thumb to apply pressure to her clit. Her eyes are screwed shut now, and you can tell she’s close.

“Gonna cum for me Paige? Cmon baby, let it out.”

She calls out your name, legs open and pussy throbbing against your fingers. Finally she loosens around you, reaching her orgasm.

She’s still clinging to your body and catching her breath when you pull your hand out from her shorts, licking your fingers like you’ve just finished a meal. Paige’s eyes are trained on your lips wrapped around the same digits that were just inside of her.

You just smile at her staring. “You good?” You ask her. She just chuckles and takes off her shirt. “I’m good. Might needa cool down though.” Paige eyes you as she slips into the pool.

You laugh and take your shirt off too, slipping into the cold water with her.

It’s a good night, filling your lungs with her, breathing Paige in.

[awkwardandeccentric]

Stolas self-sabotages just as much as Blitzø does. Blitzø’s is just much louder and angrier. He is a flash of intense emotion that pushes you away. Stolas’ self-sabotage, in keeping with his character, is much quieter. He purposely puts himself in very uncomfortable and triggering situations (the Anti-Divorce party, the Anti-Blitzø party…lots of anti parties going on in Hell) because he thinks he has to. He assumes others don’t want to be around him so he doesn’t even try to socialize or form deep connections. And I think it’s worth mentioning, for all his talk in Look My Way about wishing he could see past the defenses Blitz has put up to cope with a harsh life, Stolas’ walls are just as strong, possibly stronger, and he has absolutely no intention of weakening them any time soon. Ever, if he gets his way.

Like, Blitz will mask his pain with jokes, but he’ll still…say it. He’ll still say he has daddy issues. He’ll stay say a Prince could never love an imp and he lashed out in fear. He’ll immediately follow it up with something disingenuous, but the words will still leave his mouth.

But remember in Apology Tour? “I’ve never seen you throw them back this hard.”

Blitz is still on the arc of learning to humanize Stolas instead of putting him on a pedestal, but the pedestal thing is partially Stolas’ fault. We don’t know what Blitz knows about Stolas other than Stolas has a kid, had a wife, collects carnivorous plants, is a gay man, and has an imp butler. Maybe he knows some other things, but we don’t know what else, if anything. Considering Stolas’ MO when he’s overwhelmed is to peace out, and Blitzø has abandonment issues…

But Stolas never told him about Stella. Or Paimon. Or that Octavia is a “precautionary heir.” Or the arranged marriage. Or that the other Goetia think he’s a joke. Or that he’s a rape survivor. Or that he struggles with severe mental health issues. Or even that he’s still injured from Striker’s knife wound.

So, if Blitz hadn’t sabotaged everything first, Stolas definitely would have been the one to do it. Probably so subtly, in such small ways, Blitz wouldn’t have even noticed until he came home from work and Stolas wasn’t there, his stuff gone and there being no indication as to why or how to reach him, most likely because the image he was trying to craft of being normal and put together finally cracked. Better get out now before they realize you’re not who you tricked them into thinking you were, right? Blitzø just loves the mask. And the mask has to fall off at some point. The show has to end.

[bebemoon]

look for the name STELLAE (requested by @im-not-good-with-names) | alexander mcqueen by sarah burton pale silver armour-sleeved cage corset dress (s/s 2o19), { beauty } makeup including silver metallic oversized lashes by simone gammino, mugler "angel: silver brilliant star" eau de parfum (in limited edition holiday crystal-studded bottle), colombe d'humieres purple zircon stud earring, iris van herpen leather-bound crystal heel-less heels