#stand to pee device

[goodmorningmistermagpie]

its so funny that the save the princess game title gets shortened to stp

makes me think of. penice.

[transvicquemare]

sorry to stp (video game) fans but i will always read it as stand to pee

[inkbotkowalski]

Aaaah!!! I just used an stp for the first time, and it worked perfectly!!! I did not have to hang my whole ass out in the cold forest air!!!

(very simple plastic saucepan thing. Easy to handle, easy to clean, easy to transport)

[translgbtq]

Budget-Friendly Best STP Packers For FTM Trans Guys, And Others

Packing is a very common habit of FTM trans, non-binary, and others. The habit can’t make in a day. It takes years. While we start the FTM transition, we were so much about which STP packers we can use for daily life and which packers we can use for playing. Time changes. We start knowing and gathering the knowledge about how we trans guys and other guys can comfortably pack an STP packer for a…

[olterior]

Me, in a fight with some ruffians. We're evenly matched, and in a last ditch attempt of dishonourable victory they kick me in the bulge of my crotch.

Instead of doubling over in pain like any other man would, I lock eyes with them in a steely amusement. They are shocked, stunned; I am able to gain the other hand in the fight.

Injured but victorious, I stagger to my friends onlooking at the side.

"How did you withstand that kick? I thought for sure you were a goner"

I chuckle, and whip out my lightly dented STP soft packer from within my boxers.

"Nah, I was fine. It was EZPeezy."

[i-like-gay-books]

sorry but i was just scrolling pinterest and

shein?? wyd girl???

[incognitopolls]

Packer: an object or padding worn under clothing to simulate the appearance or feeling of having a penis. Sometimes these have additional functions as stand-to-pee devices or sex objects.

–

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[cookinguptales]

oh my god, I might literally throw a party. I might literally buy myself a cake tonight. thank you, thank you, thank you, Pete Buttigieg.

things that have happened to me specifically while flying american:

being asked to stand in a very long line to check my bag before they'd let me have access to a wheelchair

not being picked up by an attendant in time to get to my flight despite arriving over two hours early

being loaded into a broken accessible bathroom. the door wouldn't close all the way so my naked body was visible to people in the terminal.

being refused restroom access at all, sometimes for hours at a time. I'd say that this one happens about 80% of the time when I fly, especially when getting off the plane.

being denied stops for food at the airport as well

being left outside a restroom for over an hour because the attendant straight-up left. I had to TWEET AT THE AIRPORT FOR HELP because I knew being public was the only thing that would work.

being left on plane for over 45 minutes for the same exact reason. once off the plane, I was left at the gate for an additional hour. my parents, waiting for me at baggage, were frantic. a gate agent got into a screaming match with a wheelchair attendant. it was wild.

having a wheelchair attendant harass me about my homosexuality the entire time they took me through the airport; I'd just come from pride and had an identifying t-shirt. I couldn't get away from them or their lectures about being a good christian.

never being collected for a connecting flight, forcing me to walk or miss the flight. I dislocated my shoulder trying to get there.

once I was loaded onto a shuttle but no one bothered UNloading me, so I had to bang on the glass to get passersby's attention

not being preboarded a solid... I'd say 20% of the time. this is important because preboarding means I don't need to stand for an extended period in a narrow aisle behind people putting their things away, and also provides me with additional space to put away my accessibility devices.

once this happened because the wheelchair attendant was late (as usual) and the gate attendant assured me they'd hold the line so the aisle would be clear. once I got down there, they refused to do this and wanted me to stand for 15 minutes, which would have been incredibly painful while holding my bags. I refused to board until the aisle was clear, so they started directing passengers around my wheelchair. it was only after a passenger straight up refused to board and blocked everyone else that the aisle was cleared and I was allowed to board.

I have also had passengers break rules to take me to the bathroom when I was literally weeping at the gate from how badly I needed to pee and how much I did not want to publicly wet myself. thank you to those passengers. (and the ones that yell that I need to be preboarded when they "forget" to do so.)

I've been told to get off the plane because my wheelchair was there, but got off the plane to find out that it wasn't -- and they wouldn't let me back on the plane. they wanted me to walk to baggage, but I couldn't. I sat down on the filthy floor of the bridge and wouldn't move until they brought a wheelchair, no matter how much they yelled at me and threatened me with security. what a fucking mess.

they have given away my seat near the front of the plane before and forced me to walk to the back of the plane. I was openly sobbing from the pain by the time I made it back there.

things that have happened while flying in general (TSA, other airlines, etc.):

(trigger warning for sexual assault)

TSA giving you the most invasive pat-downs you can imagine. if you remain in your wheelchair, often they will run their hands under your thighs, bottom, and genitalia. the weight of your own body means that I have had fingers part my outer labia through my pants. one I started crying during a pat-down because I am a survivor of CSA and they yelled at me then restarted the pat-down from the top.

I have had attendants refuse to help me with my belongings during security, instead insisting that I get out of the chair and do it myself

I have had security make me get out of the chair, then lose the chair until my legs gave out and I sat on the floor, which also got me yelled at

broken accessible bathrooms have happened at MULTIPLE airports.

delta has broken not one but TWO of my personal wheelchairs

once while boarding an attendant (who was already mad at me because I'd refused to walk up the steep tarmac ramp without wheelchair assistance) grabbed my cane while I was using it and I almost fell. I was never notified that this would be a tarmac boarding to begin with.

once, during a different tarmac boarding, they expected us to go down a flight of stairs, despite me being loaded onto the plane via wheelchair. I would not go down the stairs and they had to call for the lift to be brought. it took about a half hour, and the entire time the attendants kept asking me if I really needed it and wouldn't I just go down the stairs? like I was just being a recalcitrant child and not someone who's broken her ankle stepping off a curb before.

honestly the refusal to let me eat and pee is pretty universal, as is wheelchair attendants ghosting me, refusing to talk to me, acting like they're transporting luggage instead of a person, etc.

believe it or not, that is not an exhaustive list. they're just the first examples that come to mind. whenever I fly and it goes completely smoothly, that's more of a shock.

and like... it's dehumanizing. it really is. not being allowed to go to the restroom? having people refuse to talk to you? being abandoned in random hallways?

I'm always in so much pain after I fly, a fact that is generally worsened by poor treatment at the airport, and even the literal dislocations have hurt less than being treated like I'm less of a human person than my fellow passengers.

so uh. rock on, Buttigieg. fine them into fucking oblivion. I'll be cheering you on the whole way.

[byproducts-of-my-imagination]

Yandere Blue Lock (Bachira, Barou, Rin)

Mannn... Blue Lock is just so rife with yandere potential I cannot!!! It warms my ugly heart, watching them all slowly devolve into madness for the sole pursuit of one goal. Which is just how like I like my yanderes tbh, obsessively consumed by one thing and one thing only. There's rarely a sports anime where I am attracted to almost all the characters, but Blue lock hits some good spots I wasn't aware I had. These are just some thoughts for now, I will probably dedicate several posts to Reo alone in the near future. More coming soon as well

Bachira Meguru

Bachira has been unhinged since the very beginning. A monster in his head borne of loneliness voices his innermost desires and impulses. The monster whispers to him, telling him that you'd understand him, that you'd understand both of them. And really, how could he not want to have you?

He's a nasty boy and has no shame. Curious about everything and anything with no care for social boundaries. He'll invade your privacy, ask inappropriate questions and follow you into the bathroom to watch you pee just because he wants to know 'how it works for women'. There's a somewhat childlike wonder to him which makes it all the more unsettling as he makes eye contact with you while sniffing your panties, or jacking off to a very normal photo of you he snapped while you weren't looking.

He loves your eyes. Sometimes he can get hard just from making eye contact with you, and he loves any position where the two of you can look into each others eyes. He wants to lay you bare, to strip you of everything and see what's underneath, the deepest and darkest parts of you.

For him you're a never ending exploration that he'll never get tired of. He'll poke and prod you to get different reactions, and delights in every one of them.

"You're so beautiful." He lets out the most filthy, pornographic groan as his hands come down to squeeze your ass, pulling you apart to see inside you. You burn with shame, unable to escape his whims.

Barou Shoei

The king. Barou is a meticulous despot in every aspect of his life. It takes a while for him to develop positive feelings towards someone, much less love. But once he has his sights set on you, his feelings only grow stronger. There is no limit to the depth of his feelings for you. They overtake him, push him out of his comfort zone and force him to grow. His love swells and consumes to be all encompassing.

Once he makes up his mind there will be nothing to stop him. Now that he knows love, he will justify any means for his ends. Barou wholeheartedly believes in himself and his convictions, and if he wants you, you'll be his queen even if he has to force you to.

He'd keep you on a strict schedule and hold you to the highest standards. But honestly if you follow his rules well Barou is one the the most reasonable yanderes to be with. He allows you freedom and trust, as long as you uphold your role to his expectations. He's also not terribly clingy, and will leave you to your own devices while he is at practice.

About soccer, he is torn between wanting you in the stands and keeping you away from the other blue lock bastards. On one hand he loves to show off, as goals are just so much sweeter with you there to appreciate him and all his hard work. However, the other strikers cannot be trusted near you. Under no circumstances will he allow them to taint you, to allow them to bask in your presence.

Itoshi Rin

Rin has a terrible brother complex which extends into each part of his life, even his romantic relationships. His whole life has been spent practicing devotion.

You knew Sae first, met at school, were the barest of friends and moreso acquaintances. By chance you were partnered with him for a project, which the two of you completed as fast as possible in the Itoshi's living room. It was there that Rin saw you for the first time, dazzling and the center of Sae's attention. A deep jealously overtook him, a heavy longing to be in your place as Sae's equal. He wanted to have you, to be you. To crawl inside you skin and stay there forever and never feel inferior again.

Rin coveted Sae, and everything he had but never had he wanted something so much before in his life. So much of him is defined by his brother, and while it's agony for him, it's also his main drive in life. You'd be his biggest victory if he could only have you.

In the bedroom he likes to claim you, Rin lives to see your skin littered with bites and hickeys. Every inch of you will be constantly marked but it'll never be enough to soothe him. He never does anything halfway anyways. Touch starved and needy, he loves to destroy you, to control you and be inside of you. He's very possessive and it shows on your skin.

[puppyboyknot]

bladder control scenario where a transmasc who uses a STP device to use urinals has his STP taken away by the bladder controller, and then is taken out to coffee and told he is only allowed to pee using urinals today even though they both know he can’t use a urinal without the STP. the dom/me takes him out for drinks after and keeps him out of the house for hours and hours as he gets more and more desperate, to the point where he is genuinely considering trying to use a urinal without his STP. by the end of the day he has a rock-hard bladder and has to loosen his belt, and is sweating and desperate to not wet himself. when they finally get home he is only allowed to piss standing up and has to straddle the toilet and try not to miss or he knows he’ll get punished

[evilfrogcereal29]

Pizza guy!Nikto - Chapter 1

(ok... This is going to be like, maybe one of the most weirdly specific fanfics you've ever read. For context: I work at a pizza place IRL. Thats it. Thats the only context. I was at work and. Thought about Nikto working there too. That's all you need to know. Enjoy :]!!!

This is going to be a Nikto x GN!customer!reader, but reader is NOT introduced in this chapter.

Cw/tws: mentions of violence- including towards an animal! I think thats all? Enjoy :)!!

NOTE: all text in red & italics are Nikto's voices

Nikto was bored.

Retirement was miserable, and Nikto found himself restless day in, and day out. Unable to find peace while wasting away at home. Sure, he had lot's of retirement money, but he had this urge to work, to kill. He would give anything to be on a plane to another mission right about now, but he was too 'broken'. That's what they basically told him. Too mentally unwell to keep working. A hazard to his own team.

Heh.

What the fuck do they know? They don't know what goes on in his head. So what he broke that recruit's arm? They touched him when he warned them of the consequences. Or who cares that he hit one of his higher-up's service dogs with the buggy? It should've been servicing it's owner, not under the damn vehicle! He's not a danger, the other voices are!

Speaking of voices, they aren't reacting well either, metaphorically biting away at Nikto's psyche each day he did fucking nothing. He felt useless, and they reminded him of that. You idiot, you deserve your suffering for being the way you are. Broken. Broken little solider.

He still gets calls from his mates in the service, especially Krueger, who always makes sure to call as often as possible to keep the man updated on missions, even if they didn't concern him anymore. He suggested that Nikto pick up a part-time job, not for the money, but the work. God (and Krueger) only knows what Nikto's mind gets upto when left to its own devices.

Nikto scoffed at first, he didn't like the idea of working at some measley fast food job, he was above that. He crawled through the fucking trenches and ripped out the throats of women and men, and would be reduced to... What? Cleaning a fucking stove? Heating up processed foods for weak civilians? No. He wouldn't. The voices mocked him, this is what we've been reduced to? Patheic.

And then the rot set in.

Krueger had been very insistant on a visit the second he had time away from work, flying out to see Nikto even as the man ignored his texts and calls. He wasn't dead, Krueger knew that, but he also wasn't in a good place. He couldn't let his companion live like this pathetic slob. Cause that's exactly what he was becoming.

Water and alcohol bottles littered the floor, stacks on stacks of old, half eaten take-out. Junk that should’ve been tossed long ago created walled barriers throughout the house. It was a scene out of horders, and the smell was awful. Christ. Krueger was no clean freak, but this? He'd rather sleep next to corpses than this cesspool of rotting filfth, and in the middle of it all, sat his balaclava-ed, smelly friend on the sofa. Krueger grimmaced, taking careful steps. He nearly stepped on poor Sputnik, who had become content with spending her days lazying about, peeing in places without Nikto's knowledge, and eating off his leftover scraps of food, growing just as lethargic as her owner.

"Nikto... Scheiße..” he would almost be outraged at the man’s carelessness if he didn’t understand how the other functioned, without a job, without a purpose, Nikto was truly a nobody. He lifted the man’s head with a gentleness, an action only someone like Krueger could get away with, looking into those glazed-over icy blues.

“This is… this is bad Nikto..” he mutters, eyes filled with..love? Concern? Something Nikto wasn’t used to often. Nikto finally shows evidence of life as his eyes flicker up in wordless understanding. Krueger continues,

"I can't stand to see you like this. You can't stand being like this. I'm going to help you."

Krueger lifts his friend up, albiet with mild arguing and growling from the disguntled bear of a man that Nikto is. He sets Nikto's cheap laptop on his lap and types in job sites, which already has Nikto tense.

"Krueger- чёрт побери! you're acting like my fucking mother-"

"good, about time someone comes in and wipes your ass, if not yourself." Krueger grumbles, scrolling through the job offers, "what's your SNILS...?"

After a painstaking back and forth, and Krueger prying for all of Nikto's personal info, he sent in a few applications on his friend's behalf. Patting the other on the back as Nikto's thumbs rubbed at his temples, fighting back the urge to pulverize his only real friend. You really should, he's a nuisance...

"this is... Not ideal.." Nikto finally grumbles, finishing the last of some lukewarm whisky from the bottle.

"none of this is, meine freund, but this...Is worse." Noone has ever seen them like this, so...domestic. In reality, this was as hard for Krueger as it was for Nikto, The Alligence wasn't the same without the Russian, fighting wasn't the same. Krueger rested a hand on his shoulder.

"everything is going to change, can you try to change a little with it?"

Change? Krueger wanted him to change? Was that even possible? He'd been so set in his ways ever since the incident. But the look in Krueger eyes let Nikto know that there wasn't really a choice.

What are you kidding? You could change as far as you could throw a boulder! Never!

He sighed, deeply. His shoulders slumping miserably as he exhaled.

"fine. But If we don't like the job-"

"ja, ja, you don't have to stay. I get it. I can't make you." He interupted, waving his hand dismissively, "but don't just give up right away. Can you promise me that?"

Nikto hated making promises, he hated feeling like he owed anyone anything, he didn't take on debts or deals. Go ahead, make more promises you can't keep. We know the truth.

Yet here he was, being interviewed by an elderly couple, who pitied him for his past as a solider.

"me and Martha are going to see how you fair in the kitchen, and if that's turns out to be too overwhelming we can move you to a more simple job like delivery. Just bring the customers their pizzas." The eldery man said with an acknowledging smile.

He nodded to the man, Michael, reaching across the table to shake his hand, thanking him begrudgingly for this... 'Opportunity'. Thats damn well what it was, but Nikto didn't quite see it that way yet. As he left with a work shirt displaying the place's name and logo, he felt his heart drop. And a shrill, annoying voice invading his mind.

You are truely a fucking Развалюха. Good luck ever trying to live a normal life!

And now Nikto was worried.

------------------------------------------------------

Hai :3 I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, I wanted to introduce reader in this first part but it was getting long and I also just wanted to get something out. There will be more chapters for this, but they might be kind of slow to come out😭 work takes up a LOT of my time tbh, but also working inspires me cause...yk pizza place setting so- its a double edged sword. But if you enjoyed pls like and reblog it means sm♥️♥️ ty for reading!!

And to the person who sent me an ask in my inbox about the relationship dynamics between NiktoKrueger + criminal!reader, I see u and ur creative vision, I started writing something today in response ;) just gimme some time!!!

Also an @ list for some mooties who I think would like to see this :3

@simp4konig @lizzy019 @fishsinsareacknowledged @zoloftwithdrawalnausea sorry If I missed anyone, lmk if you'd like to be tagged (or not tagged) in future chapters!!

[hotxcheeto]

━ 𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐗𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐓

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, smut, ab/muscle riding ( reader on ellie ), voyeurism ( phone call sex with unaware 3rd party ), kissing, nudity, joel showing up, mention of shower sex, showering together, fluff

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - I've been in such a bad writing funk so I'm sorry if this is horrid and sucks ass, life has been awful.

𝗔𝗨 - Modern !

PREV | NEXT

☾ ONE NIGHT STAND MASTERLIST ☽

PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK - ITS APPRECIATED!!

All you could hear was her breathing, soft and mixed with quiet snores that she didn't care to correct. Her eyes shut but you knew the rest of her was awake, the telltale sign of that being the fingers running against your bare back in a circular motion.

The glassware and utensils had been left out on her coffee table but the food had successfully been put away late last night. It was the last time either of you had gotten up from the couch up until now, the mid-morning sun greeting you both.

A channel you didn't know the name of played on the screen in front of you which kept you slightly entertained. Half in a haze of sleep and the other partially awake. You were just basking in the fact that you didn't have to do a thing today but lay there if you really wanted.

Then again, her phone had other plans, beginning to ring just as your eyes had began to shut again. The sound was excruciating, so much so that you had shoved your face into her body and groaned into her belly by the time the pattern repeated, trying not to smile at the sound of her throaty laughter while she reached for the device.

"What?" She answered.

You peaked up at her, resting your chin on the backs of your hands.

"You always answer the phone with 'what' or do you just really not like them?" You mocked her voice in a whisper earning you a tap on your blanket covered ass and a smirk.

"No I'm busy." She replied to whoever was talking, watching you as you looked away and at her hallway, trying to decide whether peeing was more important than your current comfort.

"I said I'm busy, Cat. I will later or something." The mention of her name made you peer over and meet Ellie's eyes once again. "Cat, huh?" You teased, this time feeling her pinch you, hand dipping underneath the fluffy layer and running itself over your warm skin.

"I dunno, call Dina. I'm really busy right now, Joel needs me to help him set up his new cable shit or whatever, you know him." You giggled, sitting up on her torso in order to swing your legs on either side of her body.

"Wow, using your old man as an excuse. Diabolical." She squeezed the bottom of your butt, bringing her warm hand over to hold your hip. "I don't know about later anyways, Joel wanted me to stay for dinner."

Her gaze was fixated on your face, biting the inside of her lip when she moved to push your lower half forward. Humming almost inaudibly when you seemed to get the message.

"Listen I gotta go, I don't know what you want me to do about that. I can't keep helping you out when it comes to these things."

You went slow at first, grinding your bare cunt against her pelvis followed by little moans tumbling from your lips. Little puffs of air coming with which Ellie found adorable tending to focus more on your mouth than whatever her ex was saying.

"Ellie..."

The whimpers were unheard on Cat's end of the phone though, standing outside her ex-job place whilst praying to God Ellie could show up and sweet talk her boss into letting her stay.

"I can't keep getting you jobs if you're gonna lose them. It'll fuck up my shop name if I keep getting others into bullshit." You covered your face to muffle your noises when she bucked her hips, but she quickly tugged your hands away to meet your pretty eyes and accidentally caused you to fall forward.

"You got your ex a job?"

"Was trying to be nice-" she smiled as you shifted into a better position. Tilting her head as you humped your clit against her muscles again and again while she gripped your thigh,"-ended in me getting fucked over, as per usual."

"How sweet of you.. oh fuck–" That had come out much louder than you intended but your mind had become a foggy mess that hadn't noticed. But Ellie had.

"What? Nothing Cat, I gotta go." You sped up, feeling your belly begin to tighten whilst you dug your nails into her shoulders. Clenching your teeth as to not be so fucking obvious.

"M'gonna... Ellie.."

"Bye Cat, I'll talk to you later." She hung up before the other girl got a chance to say her farewells. Tossing her phone onto the carpet with a soft thump, but her attention was all on you.

You moved, sitting up once more to arch yourself into her abs, rotating your hips so that your clit hit every delicious spot. Mouth wide and hung open, Ellie admired not only that, but the way your head fell backwards and your eyes closed.

"I- fuck-"

"Let go already... you're pretty when you come y'know." The sound of those few words sent you flying over the edge. Body stuttering and shaking, Ellie helping you out by guiding you back and forth again to make it easier.

You couldn't make that out though, laying your head on her chest once you'd begun to come down.

"I think you are just as pretty " You replied after a moment, taking a deep and unleveled breather while staring at the back of the couch. Then shifting your head to peer up at her, a question on her tongue that she was resisting the urge to ask, but that failed.

"Are you gonna stay?"

"If you want me to."

It was quiet for a second, green eyes looking into your own. Hand returning to it's earlier dance on your back.

"I'm hungry."

You moved to slide off her body, stretching out while feeling her eyes rake over your body like you were a treasure chest just waiting to be opened.

"We both need to shower before we do anything, so either you say no and I leave, or you can join me." You didn't have to say it twice before she was off the couch, pulling you into her tiny bathroom and then right into the hot water.

You'd stayed until your fingers began to become pruney, giggling at stupid small things each other would say. Ellie and you both poking at each other when the other wasn't paying attention.

Then her fingers went other places then your hips, creeping between your thighs and after a few moments, in and out of your body. Soon after you stood with shaking legs while rinsing the soapy suds from your torso.

Ellie's hands on your back helping with the rest before she kissed your neck and told you that she'd order food. Leaving you alone with nothing but the stream of warmth and the quiet rest of the bathroom.

You baked in its warmth, the smell of Ellie's body wash that you liked and her shampoo and conditioner which she claimed she only had because Dina had called her a monster for using a two-in-one. It had made you giggle, that you can admit.

Finally you shut the near cold water off and stepped out, grabbing the fluffy white towel she'd told you from the behind the curtain was for your use. Wrapping it around your body before looking at yourself in the foggy glass.

Water droplets falling down your skin, not a tired glint in your eyes, instead you looked alive. You couldn't remember the last time that was, not a though actually, not even at the beginning of the last one.

You turned, going to exit the bathroom when you nearly ran right into a man going to walk into the bathroom. Ellie beside him trying to grab him back but all you could focus on was how startled he was and how absolutely bare you were.

"Holy shit, I am so sorry!" You practically squeaked, clutching the fuzzy fabric with everything you had to offer. "No, shit, that's my bad." He looked away and tried to avoid making eye contact and backed up, turning around and away.

"Could've warned me, kid." He directed to Ellie who grabbed your arm lightly to tug you away and into her room.

"Fuck I am so sorry." Ellie began while you shook your head, trying to avoid thinking about what could be going through that man's head. "He just showed up-" "It's okay. I promise."

Ellie stared with worry swirling in her eyes, anxiously playing with her fingers while her cheeks burned bright red. Watching as you sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Do you want me to go-" "No, no he's only stopping by. You can stay in here until he leaves, or if you want I can drive you home once he does." You shrugged, smiling softly to get her to calm down. "I was kinda looking forward to watching that show you suggested. Can't leave before I see it, right?"

"Fuck... okay, now I gotta... go out there." "If he asks, tell him what he wants to know." She raised her eyebrows, noticing the goosebumps of the cold appearing on your shoulders and arms.

"Just be honest, it's more embarrassing getting caught in a lie later. Especially if we make it as far as meeting the parents. Which is around, what? Month three, maybe four? We're in month one, going on two in two weeks. And judging by how much we seem to get along we'll probably end up there and that is a horrible conversation waiting to happen if it starts as some shitty lie."

Ellie snorted and rubbed her eyebrows, finally shaking her head.

"Alright, I'll be right back. But if you wanna make an escape, window is not an option." You giggled, standing up to go to her closet which she'd offered before she'd gotten out. "Definitely don't feel like falling seven stories so I'll just wait to run out the front door when you're not looking."

Ellie left, the muffled sound of her voice and the man's outside the room and down the hallway. Inaudible due to the length between them but close enough to where you heard him chuckle, smiling as you put a shirt on that was probably made for a seven foot tall man instead of Ellie's five-five stature.

It was huge, on anyone that wasn't a giant anyway.

"Christ." You muttered, biting your lip to muffle your amusement. Putting on an equally large pair of pants that you were sure were hand-downs from someone she knew. If they weren't, you wondered what possessed her to buy them.

After a moment though you got curious, creeping over to the door to listen into the conversation. Knowing it wasn't good, but how bad could it be?

"You like her?" "Joel-" "C'mon, she ain't a stranger. Her shoes all nicely places over there? I ain't an idiot." You covered your mouth to hide your sounds, shifting your weight with the anxious feeling of being caught.

"Yeah, I do. It hasn't been that long, though. Alright? So you're not missing anything." It sounded as if he got closer, probably teasing her in his expression which you too from the sound of her scoff. "I wanna meet her when I do start to miss somethin'."

"Okay, okay, now please, send a text next time." "Nah, maybe I'll just walk in instead of knocking. Catch you by surprise and scare the shit outta all of your friends." "Alright, that's enough, door."

You shook your head while laughing, sitting back down on the bed to wait for her. Watching the TV's rest screen turn from nature sight to nature sight until the door opened once again and her blushing face became visible.

"I miss him already." Ellie playfully shoved you back, laying next to you and staring up at the ceiling. "Shut up." "Just saying, you jinxed it."

She turned her head, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"Earlier, when you told Cat you were helping him?" You could see the hilarious realization in her face. "Oh fuck I did. Damn it." "We have to work on that." "Work on what?"

You looked at her, deadpanned.

"Your excuses."

"What's wrong with my excuses?" You let out a loud 'hah', pulling yourself to sit up. "They're cliché. And you always sound slightly panicked, it is adorable though." Messing with you, she rolled her eyes. "Can't we just watch The Mandalorian now?"

"Fine, we'll work on your lie game later." "Great! You're gonna love this show." "I bet I will." You smiled.

PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK!! - liking does not boost and I like people reading what I wrote!!

[official-penis-posts]

Hello dear Penis Blog, and readers of this ask. I am a trans guy who recently acquired a stand-to-pee device (in the shape of a penis, of course) and I now am unsure how to carry it around with me. It doesnt simply fit into my boxers, so.... should it just go into my bag? How do other folks carry their STP around?

Or: Fellas, is it gay if my STP sticks out of my boxers?

Also I am a huge enjoyer of this blog! Gotta love cock!

Call me Jon Snow because I don’t know shit.

Can anyone help STP anon?

[storm-angel989]

Heyyyy would you write mama Vel if you got a request for it? I fear we have all been sleeping on her potential

Hey!

Sure will! Peek the below!

<3 Mandy

Velvette swore up one side and down the other that she would never have children. When interviewed less than a year ago, she flipped her hair to one side, scrunched up her nose and gave a direct quote to the inquisitive reporter.

“Ruin my figure and wreck my company time? As if.”

Now as she knelt in front of the toilet, her breakfast making a second appearance for the third time that week, she wondered if the possibility she denied the most was coming true. 

Apparently, Vox thought the same thing. 

“I mean, is it possible, honey?” He inquired gently as he held back her hair. “I mean, we aren't exactly what you might call…”

“Careful? I should say not,” Valentino said as he leaned on the doorframe, watching the scene unfold within. A knowing grin spread across his face as he watched the scene before him unfold.  Striding forward, he handed Vox a cellophane wrapped package. 

“Vel, it takes me great pleasure to tell you that is the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on. Vox, feel free to be offended by that, I don’t give a shit.” Valentino told them both as he turned away. “If you need me, I’ll be in my studio.” 

“She doesn’t pee on me, that's your kink,” Vox yelled after him. 

“Asshole,” Velvette muttered as she pulled herself to her feet. “But he has a point. Give me the test. How does it work, do I have to swab my mouth or something?”

“Uh, no, Vel, he wasn’t kidding about that part,” Vox mumbled as he handed her the test. “You literally pee on the stick.”

Velvette snatched it from his hands and shoved him out the door. “This is my point, everything that has to do with kids is gross.” 

“But, Vel, I-” 

Velvette slammed the door shut and, after a quick review of and follow of instructions, paced anxiously in front of the test as it lay on the counter. Seven minutes, she could wait seven minutes. 

“Vel? Will you let me stand by you at least?” Vox’s soft voice came from behind the door. “Please?”

Velvette sighed and walked quickly across the room. She unlocked the door and Vox took her hand as he stepped in. 

“Hey, we talked about this, right?” He muttered as he took her in his arms. “We both knew it was a possibility, and we both decided that if it happened…”

“Then it happened, I’m just scared, Vox. If I’m pregnant, that changes everything,” she replied anxiously. “I know you want kids, and I…”

“I know,” Vox replied gently as he kissed the top of her head. “But we’re in this together, right? Either way, we’re in this, side by side.” He glanced across the bathroom counter. “Do you want to look first or should I?” 

“You look, I’d rather the news come from you than that…technological torture device. Honestly, this has been the longest seven minutes of my life,” Velvette replied as she buried her face into Vox’s chest. 

She felt him reach across the counter. Several moments passed and Velvette looked up at him.

“Well? What’s the verdict, Vox? Come on, don’t keep me in suspense.” 

Vox leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, one arm wrapped around her back, the other brushing against her belly.

“Vel, we did it. You’re pregnant.”

[derekwriteskink]

The ideal submissive

Sam had been fantasising about being another sub, the man in question was in a grey leather uniform and he had black leather knee high boots on, along with black leather gloves. Sam envied the man’s confidence,his charming voice,his dashingly handsome face and above all his life. He had watched everything on the man’s instagram page and the thought of being him was amazing. Sam continued to think about being the man while he fell asleep. When Sam awoke he saw the man that he fantasised about staring at him, he tried to move but his body was completely incased from the neck down in an inescapable leather bondage sack. The man sat down next to him and opened a black suitcase, he pulled out an electric head shaver and began to shave his head, he showed Sam his reflection and he noticed that they now had the exact same hair length, the man then shaved Sam’s beard and left his moustache. Sam was again shown how he looked, he now had the same moustache as the man. The man placed his hand firmly on Sam’s throat and instructed him to speak, when he spoke his voice sounded exactly like the man’s. Sam was excited as the man pulled off the restraints and he placed his hand on Sam’s cock, he grew in length as the man caressed him, he then let go and applied ice to Sam’s cock, he became flaccid and he was then locked securely in Chasity, the man instructed him to stand up and then he promptly began putting a matching grey uniform on Sam, it fit perfectly and Sam was beyond excited as the black leather boots were put on his feet, he eagerly obeyed as the man placed black leather gloves on him and then began to caress his face. Sam was shown his reflection and he saw that he looked exactly like the man, like a clone. Sam was excited, however his shock turned to fear when the man pulled a hood over his head and he slowly lost consciousness. When he awoke, the hood was removed and he watched in horror as he saw hundreds of identical men in the most extreme bondage scenarios. He heard a bizarre combination of terrifying screams and loud moans. He remained helpless in a full body leather suit until a man approached him and attached a lead to his collar. Sam was restrained to a rimming chair. His cock was unzipped and put into a milking machine, his butt zipper was opened and a large tube was inserted, he moaned loudly, his nipples were unzipped and pinched tightly by metal clamps. A large tube was forced down his mouth and down his neck. He was helpless as the tube was held firmly in place by the mouth hole in his leather hood. Liquid food was flowing through the tube and he had no choice but to consume it. It continued running down his throat, he struggled to breathe, two rubber tubes were pushed deeply into his nostrils and attached to a device that forced him to breathe on command. After what felt like forever, the food stopped flowing and the tube was removed. The man forced his hands into his mouth and forcefully cleaned it thoroughly. A giant gag was shoved into his mouth and his mouth zipper was closed. The milking machine continued to furiously stimulate his cock until he reached orgasm. The milking stopped and the device was removed from his cock and then replaced by a large cube that went into his penis and a chastity cage that wrapped securely around both his cock and the tube. A leather blind fold was placed onto him and he was left in darkness, after a while he felt the food from before leaving his body through the butt tube and was completely disgusted when he realised the tube’s purpose, he felt his butt being sprayed down thoroughly and wiped as he was unable to object to this dehumanisation. His gag was removed and he was forced to drink large quantities of water before he was gagged again. He needed to pee and it was removed automatically through the tube. Sam was terrified and aroused as he realised that he had no way out of his situation, this was his new life.