#spy is very tired

[backstabbing-spook]

I removed the bullet successfully. Currently, I am recovering.

No thanks to the Medic who has hopefully disappeared. I pray that Krampus took him. Or something of the sort.

We're better off without him.

[magic-worms]

my RED/BLU merc designs!

i like to think of the mercs on the two teams as doppelgängers; each one is their own person with a unique life, background, and personality- they just look uncannily similar to their class counterpart on the enemy side. it’s a bit uncomfortable and they try not to think about it too hard!

this took me SO long to complete but i had a lot of fun with each face and applying my own ideas and headcanons! maybe i’ll post alt versions showing how sniper/medic/engie look with their glasses on

i’d love to talk more about these guys so feel free to ask me things in the replies:)

[sicc-nasti]

On this episode of: It’s always Sunny in Tuefort

The Mercs Make Scout A Dating Profile

Its going as one might expect

[vaxxman]

What do you think about 5cp TF2 map Gullywash?

Getting autobalanced on Gullywash feels especially tragic.

More sketches and more impressions under the cut.

In order to draw this, I watched some highlander matches on Gullywash, due to finding no matches in competitive, and the aimbots going rampant in casual. I was only able to play 5 proper matches on casual, (2 of which my teams won purely due to team imbalance,) so some of this is based on what I saw other people were doing in competitive match recordings, as well as how it feels to play on community servers with AI train bots. No one was playing whenever I was queueing up :(

I learnt very fast that Gullywash is one of these maps where you will die a lot, or steamroll the capture points, and there is no in-between, because you either position yourself correctly or you don't. While this goes for every map in tf2, I never really felt frustrated when dying here. I could always find a reason for my mistakes and generally it turned out to be a very rewarding learning experience.

I think Gullywash is extremely fun and fast paced. I especially enjoy giving scouts and pyros overheal buffs, because of how much flanking you can do here. The symmetry of the map is immaculate and the amount of objects that just lie around allows demos to place a lot of traps and players to just hide in corners.

(Using Scouts as your Uber Driver here is also especially fun, so many near death situations!)

For some reason, the soldiers and demos who play on this map are really good at protecting medics? That's the impression I got, everyone knew when to retreat and not push, everyone turned around when they saw my health go down, everyone was shooting the spies for me when we were in the open and I was too focused with healing the people fighting death matches at the front so we could capture.

(My personal heroes who just rocket jump over to you just to shoot the spy 2m away from you, and then just rocket jump away again)

Snipers aren't much of a problem, since there are so many options for hiding properly while still being able to reach your team mates. The same sadly doesn't apply to spies and I think I have died more to spies on this maps than to sticky traps.

While I love the vaccinator, I think Stock and Kritz are the better options on this map. Nothing cries geneva convention war crime more than entering the door to the last capture point and ubering a soldier who starts spamming everyone with rockets in this rather crammed up room where everything can give you splash damage.

Shoutout to a pyro called Joey who carried the last game I played, it was a blast ubering you through the last capture point.

[bloodanddiscoballs]

This probably doesn't count but Pyro/Scout? Or Demo/Sniper (I love my boys)

I’ll get you that Swordvan later but I kinda got carried away with this one so have this lovely bit of Flash Fire! Scout may talk enough for the both of them but Pyro certainly has some stuff to say as well. Click for better resolution

[itsmaferart]

Fun thought:

Twilight convinces himself that he is in control of the stability of the relationship...when in reality it is Yor.

If she's fine, all is well, and if she's bad Twilight will surely have a panic attack!!

She doesn't know she has control over him, he doesn't know she does either !!

[connoisseursdecomfort]

Side Mission vs Family: a chronological order of Twilight’s developing internal conflicts

SxF starts with a mission - Operation Strix, and because of the mission, the Forgers family is created. Before we get to the point where Twilight has to choose between his goals and his family (hopefully not unless you really want ANGST, and I know you do), another problem is seriously endangering his family mission - his side missions.

His side missions constantly take him away from his family, and we see the increasing guilt he’s been harbouring for leaving his family for side missions since the doggy crisis arc, and it’s not surprising that one day it has finally become a problem that could endanger his family main mission.

[Manga spoilers after the keep reading link]

0. The Beginning: “I will start a family for Operation Strix”

As early as in chapter 2, his side mission almost destroyed his pact with Yor:

Chapter 7 establishes that Twilight would miss some of the family activities because of his spy job.

The penguin chapter further establishes how busy Twilight in fact is. He’s away from his family a lot, and his family doesn’t really blame him because he looks as if he’s dying when he finally goes home.

This is the first time he brings his family with him while being on a side mission. It’s really about work-life balance balancing the two missions. Hence, we see how the idea of Loid “for the mission” Forger is conceived in this chapter. 

Even so, Twilight doesn’t necessarily feel guilty to be constantly away from his family because of his side missions. He’s just blindly falling in love. We all just didn’t know how much he would hold onto this stupid excuse as if his dear life depends on it later on.

1. “For the mission”: the Doggy Crisis Arc ~ the Tennis Arc

The doggy arc, basically another side mission Twilight had, is the first arc to reveal his internal conflicts among his mission/family. This is also the first time he really worries about his side mission affecting his family life main mission. Understandably, since he’s literally summoned when he’s in the middle of a family activity.

On one hand, this is the first time we see how he refers to the Forgers - not in spy terms, he simply calls them his family.

On the other hand, it is really the first crisis that forces him to step back and reevaluate his relationship with “his family”.

He consciously knows he should choose his missions over his family - in the next panel, he told himself this is for the “best future for everyone”.

He should certainly prioritise his missions, side missions included, over Yor and Anya, right?

In the manga the panel (in Short Mission 2) in which he has a drink with Franky happens before the doggy crisis arc. But it doesn’t really matter if happens before or after the arc. The incident only confirms that what he’s thinking about has been right all along: that he can’t afford to really have a relationship with Anya or Yor. At least for now.

This point onward, Twilight is slowly revealing his true identity as a character - the unreliable narrator. 

He has been a cool liar from the very start, but he was easy to read. It’s quite straightforward that he’s falling in love with his new family before the doggy crisis arc. It’s very easy to decipher what he really means judging from his expressions.

But at some point, he has decided to pull back and simply starts lying to himself. He starts to find excuses to justify his actions when it comes to his family. His worries over losing the family have been interpreted as fears of failing the mission.

This is really when the “for the mission” joke comes to shape, because it’s glaringly obvious to others that he’s SOOOOO in love.

What he says doesn't match up to how he acts:

The Tennis Arc is really the first arc a side mission really creates a tangible threat felt by both Yor and Anya. A side mission that could really take "Loid” away from this family.

But he has created such a strong excuse for himself to maintain the Forgers’ family continue the main mission, he has never considered carrying out his mission in ways other than the only way in his mind - to do it with Yor and Anya.  

(Of course, logically, Anya has already been enrolled. Everyone, especially people in Eden, knows that Yor is the mother. The Handler feels fine about the progress. There is no reason for him to change his mind.)

And he feels fine hiding in this comfort zone he’s created for himself, while doing stupid things like this:

Yes. We all see how swimmerly your main mission is going, Twilight.

2. For what mission: the cruise arc ~ the backstory arc

The cruise arc is interesting in many many ways. For Loid, it is the first time Endo takes away his stupid excuses. It is also the first time he shows guilt for leaving his family for other stuffs - and he doesn’t make up excuses for that.

It is first hinted when they had their first dinner on the cruise (Chapter 46).

We know that there are times he would be home late for his side missions and stuffs and miss dinner for that - “You miss dinner all the time”. We also know that if Yor is late, Loid and Anya tend to wait for her to have dinner.

This is the first time Endo shows us the hint of loneliness he feels when he is the one left alone. This could have added to the guilt he felt later when he had to leave Anya behind.

This time it’s not even his side missions that pulled him away - it’s his “for the greater good” goal. The realisation that he feels guilty for “abandoning his family” for other crises immediately throws him into a loop.

What is this family: a mission or something else? It is quite a dangerous revelation - he’s still had his priorities straight after the doggy arc, but towards the end of the cruise arc, his guilt is almost too noticeable for him to justify his action of “abandoning his family”. He quickly retreats and this is what he told the Handler:

As if we all don’t know he’s an idiot:

After tearing down his “for the mission” excuses, Endo went on to show who Twilight is, and more importantly, what his mission really is. Twilight was abandoned by the world, and in turn he abandons the world to work on his mission.

It has never been about WISE or Westalis. Even less about Operation Strix. It’s always been about what this little boy has lost.

The question if Twilight will ever be able to abandon the family always creates tensions, even among readers. And it’s even sadder to see that he would have to abandon Anya for the greater good - that the same thing has to happen again. A vicious cycle of abandonment issues.

But the difference is Twilight couldn’t stop his family and friends being taken away from him, and he could never get them back ever again. But for Anya, they are pretty much still here. Despite the fact that her parents have always had to leave for different missions, they come back to her.

Now of course this could just be something she sees via Bond. Anya is somehow weirdly optimistic that if Twilight doesn't know about the secrets of Yor and herself, they’ll be fine. She’ll just try her very best to complete the mission, and the family would just stay together.

Twilight, on the other hand, is the one who’s harbouring guilt for being away from them too often. With this guilt that is created by the side missions, and a bigger fear of “failing the mission” (whatever that means), now we have come to the bus arc. 

3. Retreat and progress: the bus arc ~ now

Twilight and Yor didn’t appear for the most part of the bus arc. Yor was simply kept in the dark, and Twilight was again on a side mission. He wasn't there until Chapter 75. All we know is that Twilight got back in time, brought another colleague with him, and sneaked into the strike team.

Now Endo left a lot of unresolved questions in this arc: how did he know? How did he get back? He went directly against the Handler’s order:

Sneaking into the strike team is the direct opposite of staying behind the scenes.

And after that we get bits and pieces of him being a good father: he bought a new car and decided to drive Anya to school instead. He brought Anya with him to a meeting with the Handler because she “really wants to play”. He’s actually very careful with what Anya eats, and is mindful of his sugar intake. It’s no longer for show - why on earth does he have to show off to his boss?

Bits and pieces of descriptions or evidence of how affectionate he really is has been deliberately placed in short conversations/dialogues since the bus arc started.

I said “deliberately”, because everyone on Endo;s team, including Lin and himself, would have known what the audience wants. Look at the merch. Everything is about the family being very happily together. And Endo just wouldn’t give us that.

If we look back, the side missions are just practice runs of him leaving - in every arc, at some point he would have to leave to solve a crisis. And every time he comes back with more and more guilt.

He has grown from this man who got the penguin so he could pretend that this was a happy family, to the man who gets his family cakes after he finishes a mission. He went from doing it for show, to actually lamenting himself for abandoning his family for other things.

He knows the side mission is taking him away from his family. And then the bus arc happened while he’s on a side mission. And this time, when Yor’s trying to have a conversation about him being away too much, he has to leave. For the mission.

Right after Yor accuses him for abandoning his family for work.

I’m just saying that’re really a lot of coincidences if Endo’s not up to something. 

I still don’t know if this arc will make up for all the deliberate void Endo has created. Maybe. But I’m just very excited to see what happens next, and how he deals with his relationships with Yor and Anya.

[skilbda]

What is thaaaat, IT IS NEW ART!?

And sketch with vegan BLU Medic because why not.

I'm still in search of my style, I'm in between two opposing ideas: to draw realistic art with a lot of details or to go into exaggeration, cartoonishness. Can I have two styles that are different from each other?

Ha, I even draw mercenaries always in different ways, until I decided exactly how they look in my head. I have a lot of headcanons on the appearance of the mercenaries of both teams and they are always mixed up in my head, I can forget how I drew the same Scout yesterday(

[sandxhanitizer]

YOU'RE CRINGE

I learned how to retexture a bathroom you can't even see.

Bonus:

[oceanwithinsblog]

this week's episode was freaking GOOD but i am now more confused than ever about who the actual killer(s) may be ...

x: "may i ask you who do you think the culprit is?"

my honest reaction:

[re-colligere]

had professor terror ever tried to flirt with agent verte using cute nicknames before during a confrontation and does agent verte ok with giving subtle romantic gestures to roz? Luv ur au by the way! ;)

The professor certainly has tried to flirt with Verte during confrontations, but he's not one for using cute nicknames (I imagine something along the lines like.. dear and darling or something). He doesn't have enough rizz for that sadly, and this time he's aware of that fact. And it's not like he's winning Verte over with whatever he's doing...

As for Verte and Roz. HEH. HEHEHEEEE rubs my evil hands togetha. Verte is aromantic in this au and she absolutely does Not do romantic gestures. All of her affection is purely platonic, and even then it'll take her a longgg while to get to that point because she's not sure if Roz would take it the wrong way. She doesn't talk about this like a normal person would btw.

...which might be a problem because Roz may or may not be developing a crush on her throughout the whole thing...

[jamethinks]

Finally found out the word to describe Melinda, Damian and Sylvia’s eyes. They’re downturned. Makes them cunty. The same kind of eyes Marylin Monroe had. Always made their designs stand out the most to me. I’ve been fighting for my life trying to describe it in a way that makes it clear why they’re so stunning and unique but now I got it

[meeeeeeeeediiiic]

Mercs as birds! Or at least most of them as birds. The goal was to do all of them, and maybe I will. Eventually

Pyro is a flamingo, Medic a dove, Scout a Rufus Hummingbird, Sniper a Kiwi, Engie a Weaver Bird, Soldier a Bald Eagle, Demo a Scottish Crossbeak (or rook), Heavy a European Robin, and Spy… I’m not sure. Miss Pauling is a Violet Backed Starling, and the Administrator a Secretary Bird

[chiropteracupola]

historically accurate trip to clifton's cafeteria!!!

[progress shots under the readmore]

[hyperfixated-unicorn]

Another sxf vs bd fandom war in Twitter 🙄 Worse, it seems like a lot of sxf fans and bd fans can't stop being homophobic or misogynistic in their takes. Seriously, just rest this shit already and enjoy both shows.

[backstabbing-spook]

The Halloween festivities went oddly well. No Wizard, no death, and no horrid bird heads.

I have a headache forming and am retreating to my private room. If anyone disturbs me, I will shoot them.