#spork likes to write

[spork-supremacy]

I wonder how many of those administration agents were like Jay, found with out a past and given a future in paperwork, not exactly by choice, but by obligation.

I wonder how many simply wandered in and got roped into a job, slowly losing themselves, forgetting their past as they embrace what the realm of madness gave them, lost in the forms and stress of deadlines that they eventually just forget how they got there in the first place. In some ways going mad themselves.

“He stares at the field agents as they laugh and chatter amongst themselves, passing the time as they wait for new orders. They all seem so naturally adept at their jobs, they all look like they want to be here, excited to give out authority and fill out forms. He has watched them everyday since his arrival, everyday of the only life he knows, and he still can’t tell if that’s just the way they are or it’s what the realm of madness turned them into. What he could eventually turn into.”

[kaelidascope]

“I can’t believe we got you to dance all night with us!” Sun crows gleefully as Blake approaches. Neptune cheers, and as one the newlyweds surge over to her: framing her from both sides as they kiss her cheeks, hugging her between their held hands. Blake hopes Velvet caught that; she’d love to have a picture like that for her desk. Something to zone out at when the words won’t come and she’s half-convinced no one’s actually fallen in love, ever—that no one ever truly feels that deeply.

An inspiration.

A goal.

---

Velvet may not have captured it but Chef Kaeli certainly did! For @professorspork <3 Who so graciously made my job coming up with a birthday treat so much easier with this suggestion

Read this fic guys it's INSANELY cute and I was squealing the whole read. It's a short lil thing c'mon guys if I can shotgun this in one morning you can too. Give her some love, she is an absolutely hidden gem of an author and so far every work I've read of hers is excellent.

Also it's like her birthday so like yeah go on. Off with ya, go read. Comments are crack for us and we are shameless addicts

[club-prideguin]

okay im back and have time to post about this so uh. ok what the fuck?

tourist CONTRAPTION????

[not-poignant]

Out of curiosity, when did the, 'fanfic doesn't need to adhere to canon, everything is valid and good, don't give concrit unless specifically asked for' attitude become the norm? Genuine question.

I was active in fandom back in the LJ days, when sporkings and comms viciously mocking Mary Sues were the norm, but then I sort fell out of fandom spaces for the past (checks notes) fifteen years holy shit. The current attitude seems diametrically opposed to what I remember fandom being like (kinda shitty, it was 'cool' to be an asshole back then), and I'm just curious as to when and how the shift happened. I mean, I assume it was a gradual thing, but is there anything in particular that stick out to you?

(Also, because tone doesn't convey very well through ask, and I don't want to leave you with a poor impression-- this is by no means a defence of the 2000s attitudes, nor an aspersion on the current ones. I'm genuinely only curious about the evolution from one to the other; I hope that comes across.)

Hi anon!

TL;DR because my response got LONG -> Anon this existed before Livejournal as an attitude, in fact modern fandom was literally born out of being not canon compliant (*waves aggressively to Spirk shippers*) and this existed on Livejorunal too and there have always been big pockets of fandom that really frowned on sporking even there, like that was not cool when I was on LJ, unless you were a certain age, or in certain spaces in fandom.

But also AO3 was its kind of final death knell re: making it cool to bully 13-16 yo writers (who were largely the victims of sporking) and killing dreams, which was born out of meta happening on LJ and in other places about like... not trying to make people miserable for writing a free fic out of the love in their heart that someone else didn't like or think was good enough.

Anyway, the longer version of this under the read more!

(For everyone else, welcome to some of the uglier aspects of 00s fandom!)

So there was actually criticism around all the stuff you mention 15-20 years ago as well. I was also on Livejournal during that time and there was a pretty big proportion of people in certain fandoms who recognised even then that like... setting up communities to mock say, Mary Sue writers, was actually a pretty weirdly cruel thing to do to people who were providing free labour and the literal only 'payment' they could get in a kind of energy exchange was people just not being complete dickheads to them.

So things were already changing, especially in many LJ communities and awards communities. There were a lot of big debates over whether concrit should be asked for, and a growing movement of authors who said they welcomed constructive criticism for example, instead of assuming it should automatically apply. There was also a lot of meta around the function of fanfiction and whether it should even be 'good' by published standards if the author was just doing it for themselves, and for fun (esp if they were just going to get punished for it by folks who were elitist, judgemental, grammar purists etc.)

Things really changed around the time of AO3 (2009-2010 - literally around 14~ years ago, you may have just missed the big change anon!), Strikethrough and the Dreamwidth exodus. There was a massive swing away from leaving concrit unless the author specifically asked for it, and fandom became a lot more generally able to recognise that a lot of labour goes into fanart and fanfiction and that paying with public criticism is shitty actually. Also people were just more able to recognise that like most fanfiction writers aren't trying to become professional writers and many don't want to be.

(I would actually say things changed around the time of fanfiction.net too - rude comments there were definitely noticed and could create some pretty forward 'hey why are you doing this on something you literally don't have to read' responses from fellow readers - idk what fic sites you were on. The small indie fic sites where you could often only comment via email for example, definitely drew a lot more critical attention than sites that tended to have public comments).

The 'fanfic doesn't need to adhere to canon' literally exists since the very first Spirk slash fic in modern fanfiction in the last few decades. Literally, as soon as you write Kirk/Spock, you're not adhering to canon. Our fanfiction 'ancestors' literally paved the way for a legacy which is about not adhering to canon in order to see the world/s and thing/s you want to see, be entertained by, by turned on by, or enjoy, from the very beginning. You may not have been in slash circles anon, but the foundation of queer same sex fanfic is in many ways the foundation of fandom. But yeah, this is literally where fanfiction started! As soon as you're shipping characters that aren't canon for fun (or for whatever reason), you're making it pretty clear that you want stories different to canon, and you have to change things to often keep those characters in-character.

So yeah! That's been there for decades. Idk what circles you were in on that front! While it was fairly common for a while to criticise characters for being OOC (Out of Character), imho, a lot of folks started to recognise that they literally weren't paying for what they were criticising, and they could just walk away and potentially not like...blast the fanfic. Some folks started to recognise more that people were writing with ESL, or were teenagers (some 40 yos in fandom realised they were mocking literal 15 year olds in their proto-podcasts and websites and realised actually that's just...mean? Really mean? Not the way to nurture new generations of fanfiction writers. Definitely in no way encouraging), or were writing for themselves, or writing for like one other person, or writing for fun, or writing for free, or writing for personal reasons etc.

'Don't Like Don't Read' wasn't just about political stuff, it was also about just walking away if you feel the urge to slam a fanfic in the comments.

I've been in fandom for around 2.5 decades anon, and there were so many spaces that were not actually as shitty or mean-spirited as the ones you were in? Or ones that at least had a lot of different thoughts etc. Like, sporking (mocking/bullying badfics and sometimes the folks who wrote them) was disapproved of by a lot of people in fandom even while sporking was at the height of its popularity (the Fanlore page goes into more detail about this). It might have just been the fandoms you were in, or the people you were hanging out with (and that might have been dependent on your age or just if you were around people who wanted to be 'cool' back then - in the same way that being an 'anti' is cool among certain crowds today. It's possible to spend years in certain crowds and never get an image of broader fandom for example - we can all end up in spaces like that! I know I have.)

When I started writing fanfiction (which no one will EVER find lmao), generally giving positive comments was normal. Constructive criticism was actually pretty rare and there were already fanfiction aggregate sites that generally disapproved of it in their Rules of Conduct. People were encouraging and polite. And this was around 20 years ago on Livejournal and private indie fanfiction websites.

I would actually say there was never exactly an evolution from 'one to the other' because like thousands of people in fandom already believed this and argued in defense of supporting fanfiction and transformative works via accepting that people are labouring for free and that not everyone wants to become a 'better writer' etc. - the meta was there on Livejournal in the 00s. There were communities where sporking was seen as hip/fun, and communities where it was literally banned or at the very least, super frowned upon.

There were meta fandom communities where sporking was the subject of discussion and you know eventually in a lot of those meta communities, that's where a lot of folks decided actually that calling out the fanfiction of 16 yos as 'cringe' or 'badly done' maybe said more about us as human beings and what we wanted fandom to be, than it did about the actual fanfic itself. By the time AO3 came around, people built it with this in mind.

To this day on AO3 it's mostly considered appropriate to say you want concrit in your author's notes, and to otherwise assume as a reader it's never welcome if it's unsolicited. That started during the LJ era. And it was talked about at great length. There's obviously going to be people who disagree! But for the most part I'm a big believer in compassion and 'not everyone is here for the same reason' and 'they literally gave this to us for free and it's meant to be fun' (like yourself! What we do/think/argue 10 years ago on LJ is sometimes different to what we do 10 years later lol, I used to be against trigger warnings pre-AO3! Times change a lot :D )

So yeah, this was definitely something that was around before you and I came to fandom, and it was something that continued to grow as an attitude during, until finally it kind of won out on AO3. But yeah fandom as we know it was born in people literally not being canon compliant to make some gay dreams come true (Spirk shippers bless them all), at a time when there was no representation.

Even in the earliest days of fandom where comments could only happen via email, one of the earliest phrases authors used were things like 'flames will be used to roast marshmallows.' For those reading who don't know, flames are hate comments, critical 'this fic is bad because' comments etc. Except you emailed them directly to the author, because there was no place for comments on a fic.

And this started because authors in part got death threats for writing gay stuff.

So you know, from the very beginning, authors in fanfic have by and large had a very low tolerance for criticism / hate over something they're doing for free and making no profit out of, when they're changing/altering the canon as they please to create representation (or hotness lmao), that is literally a labour of love in a world of very little representation. From there, things have just grown. The whole 'flames will not be tolerated' existed even before Livejournal did.

Honestly there are still people who love sporking and you could probably find groups and Discords dedicated to that even now (actually you literally can, there's a Dreamwidth group for it), it's kind of wild but it started to get cool again. Just like 90s clothing :D (Which is also wild because I can just take that crap out of my closet and wear it again).

But yeah it also sounds like you may have been in some pretty crappy pockets of fandom! When I was on LJ in the 00s I avoided those places and still got to experience fandom across multiple fandoms (mostly NCIS, Captive Prince, HP, Profiler, The X-Files and some others) and communities.

I was super active in some fandom communities and saw a lot of meta happening, and my view during the early and late 00s was that sporking was largely pretty frowned upon after a very brief (like 3-6 month) era where it was cool for only some folks, and then everyone (including some - but not all - of those folks) was like 'heyyyyyyy hang on a minute.' It was something that the bullies did, and enjoyed, and otherwise folks kind of stayed away from it, especially once they learned people were becoming too scared to write fics, which is the inevitable outcome of mocking/bullying folks and fics that have been made purely out of love for something.

Like, publicly making a spectacle out of what a 13 yo (they were often teens - and it's kind of sad how many 40 yo women were doing the sporking :/ ) wrote out of love, just for fun/clout was not considered cool by everyone even back then, because like, a lot of us saw that as killing new generations of fandom (some folks who sporked considered it a win if a fic or account got deleted, this is not based behaviour), not actually creating good writing, internalised misogyny (Mary Sue hatred and self insert hatred), etc. It's hard to explain because I do really think we were in different corners of fandom at the time, but I don't know anyone personally from my time on Livejournal who actually liked sporking as an idea or enjoyed it or enjoyed listening to it or reading articles mocking fic.

I knew about it from very lively 'is this okay' 'actually no it's not even if it's just for fun this is trying to hurt people and saying 'it's just the fic' is not going to be the bandaid a teenager needs to understand why older folks (generally) in fandom are mocking them for being new at a skill' discussions on LJ in meta fandom communities. So this is how much I could be in fandom and not be a part of it and also have like a wildly different experience to your LJ experience!

I think if I'd been a teenager during that era it would have seemed a lot more appealing (in the same way that many teens are antis now before they grow out of it), and fuck it if I was a more bitter person who was just around people who liked to make fun of what other people created, perhaps I would have enjoyed it too, I can see a lot of reasons why a person would fall into that in LJ -> but I was an adult on LJ trying not to be mean to people or what they were creating, so yeah I was maybe just in very different spaces! (Don't get me wrong, I have my giant fucking character flaws, but I was very scared of people hating me so like I didn't want to do things that would make that happen, lol, and also I was scared to put up fic myself during the era of active sporking. I know for myself that sporkers didn't just scare away writers of 'badfic' - they...intimidated a LOT of people).

Before AO3 I was on FF.net, posting fics on LJ, posting on Schnoogle, gossamer, and a couple of other archives. So I don't think my experience was that 'narrow,' I just think I wasn't around like... anime at that time or other places where it might have been happening. I also avoided like...Draco/Malfoy where CC drama was happening and I know sporking was popular in that specific arena / pairing for a while as well (er, as well as anything to do with Mary Sues).

So yeah! That's about where that is. Generally gatekeeping fandom is just seen as not a great thing to do to people, and that creates other kind of beliefs that are generally upheld as being more inviting/nurturing. After all, if someone truly wants to get better at writing, they can ask, or do courses, but as we all know, everyone has to write some bad stuff to get good at it, but not everyone wants to be good. Folks are in fandom for different reasons. I'm rambling now so I'm going to finish my lunch! :D

[sporkberries]

What’s interesting about Kaz is he is a slimey business man. Hes very economically minded but i wouldnt say hes greedy. Its more like… a hunger. A constant need for power and sway and something he cant even name. its not about personal wealth. sure he doesnt want to be a pauper by his own word but hes not necessarily gaudy or looking for self profit, not traditionally anyways.

He wants so much from the world, and no matter how much he takes no matter what he subsumes hes still that hungry little boy with not even basic respect to his name. He wants and he craves and that demon inside him continues to devour the world long after hes gone

[nailgunstigmata]

just randomly unearthed an unhinged memory so im sharing it because its also kinda funny. so basically when i was like 10 i used to write really bad fanfic on my parents ipad. like REALLY bad, very obviously written by some little kid, and for some reason i started a multi chapter fic about lady and the tramp?? i have no idea why i did that since i didnt even like the movie that much. so then randomly someone who was famous in the cats fandom (i was really into cats the musical for some reason. its weird that im not a furry honestly) asked me if they could do a MSTing of my fic and i was like sure :o) (has never heard that word before but an adult is talking to me so i smile and nod) so they basically write a running sitcom commentary over my fic which honestly was very harmless in hindsight but it absolutely SHATTERED tween me’s confidence. i commented on that persons fic like haha very funny!! i can take a joke!!! and then i never posted anything on that account ever again. that fic is forever stuck at 1/? 300 words. and i wonder if that person is haunted by what they did. did they wait for the next update just to make fun of that too and then it never came? did they have to carry the weight of what they did on their shoulders forever or did they never even notice? did it feel good to have that power?? anyways then i didnt do any creative writing for like ten years until the macden mental illness got too bad. and the funniest thing of all is the fact that their cats fanfic sucked balls. and they were in their twenties so they had NO excuse!!!

[cookinguptales]

I will say, though, people used to be way meaner about fic online when I was a kid. Readers can still be shitty, don't get me wrong, but it was the wild fucking west when I was young and new to fandom.

Sporking communities (communities dedicated to going through fic line-by-line to make fun of it to an audience), homophobic death threats, "constructive criticism" that was really just designed to hurt young writers' feelings... Like this was all considered not just acceptable but fun and fairly normalized. You were considered "butthurt" if this stuff really affected you.

But damn, it was so mean. Like so unnecessarily mean. People were practically hunting fan writers for sport just because they wrote fic/meta/roleplays/etc. that they didn't enjoy. I cannot overemphasize that making fun of writers was considered a viable fandom path at a certain point. Some people got very big followings for sporkings, takedowns, particularly creative flames, etc.

What I'm telling you is that making fun of others' writing was considered a kind of fanwork in and of itself.

Like... I remember writing something online when I was about fourteen and -- I don't even remember what it was, being honest with you. It probably wasn't very good, given my age. But I do remember that someone just replied to it with a link for a website "how to write" and nothing else, and it hurt my feelings so badly that I didn't even want to keep going. That was considered concrit back then, even though it was really just a thinly veiled insult. Pretty sure whoever wrote that comment thought it was hilarious, and others would have agreed with them. I definitely would've been mocked if I'd complained.

And... that was just what you had to put up with if you posted your writing publicly. Some of those old warnings like "flames will be used to make s'mores!" come off as kind of cringe these days, but it really was a coping mechanism that you had to develop if you wanted to get through it at all. It was saying "your words won't hurt me, so don't bother."

Like... I like to believe that I'm a pretty good writer these days, and I can guarantee that not one of those assholes who made fun of me or mocked my work or talked shit about my ideas actually helped to make me what I am today. It was the people who encouraged me to play with a lot of different ideas and forms of writing who really helped me grow. Nothing worked better than just writing and writing and writing without fear that I would be punished for doing so.

So even if you're a garbage person who likes to hurt people because it makes you feel big and strong and important, think about all this pragmatically. Be totally fucking selfish for a minute. Think about all of the good writing you will never, ever get to read if you destroy the writer's self-esteem when they're still learning. Think about all the people who will never grow. All the beautiful flowers that are being nipped in the bud every day by assholes like you.

And even if someone never gets good, even if they just splash around in stupid ideas and awful prose and incoherent characterization... so fucking what? No one owes you beauty. Sometimes the beauty is just in having fun with what you're doing, and sometimes that's enough.

I am actually extremely relieved that fandom isn't quite as cruel as it was when I was a kid, but I won't pretend that things are perfect now. People still have this weird entitlement to them, like other people in fandom only exist to create things that they enjoy. Like other people only have worth, only matter, if their presence gives you exactly what you want when you want it.

You don't have to like everything that other people make! You don't even have to like them. But come on, now. Let people have fun. And don't act like other people's fun is only valid if it's of use to you.

[dozenssporks]

meryl: explain.

vash, a kid under each arm, one on his back, and a baby strapped to his front: how much do you think they’re worth altogether? if I took them to the supermarket do you think I could afford pizza?

meryl: explain.

kid on vash’s back: mom’s got to work so we’re having a sleepover with vash!

kid under vash’s left arm: he owes mom thirty-two dollars so he has to do it for free!

vash: was it really necessary to mention that? makes me sound like a bum.

meryl: you are a bum.

vash: hahaha, bad timing to ask then but . . . you need an um indoor place for a sleepover and I was wondering . . .?

mery: oh no you don’t

vash: we need an address if we want pizza delivered. pleeease?

*all the kids echo him and look up at meryl with big sad eyes. the baby flaps their arms*

meryl, twisting her face as she attempts to resist: I . . . you . . . you--you’d better not damage the room I don’t want to pay the motel extra fees.

*all the kids cheer*

vash: indoor voices please!

kid on his back: we’re still outside! Imma shout all I want!

vash, steps through the door: ha! evil plot foiled, tiny villain! you will be captured and contained for the sake of the galaxy!

kid on his back, pulling on vash’s hair: curse yoouuuu!

*vash drops the two kids he’s holding on the floor and flails around trying to reach the kid on his back*

meryl, shutting the door: do you even have baby stuff?

vash, produces a diaper bag that definitely hadn’t been there before: I am always prepared for all contingencies!

meryl: don’t lie to my face. you wing it so much you might as well be a bird.

*some time later milly returns from running errands and installs herself on the couch with the kids while they watch cartoons and eat pizza*

vash, feeding the baby their bottle: heeeey, meryl, have I mentioned lately that you are a selfless and beautiful human being?

meryl: whatever. I’m going to check the news on my laptop so don’t bug me, okay? Our paper already has people covering the local protest but I want to keep up to date . . . why are you suddenly looking away?

vash, looking sideways at the wall: hahaha! but I’m not?

meryl: you were at the protest, weren’t you?

vash: um.

meryl: and you made the news again, didn’t you?

vash: wow this little guy sure can chow down, huh? I knew his dad so I can tell you this guy is going to be built like a house when he grows up--

meryl: should I be packing the car? why do you have kids with you when you might have to skip town! you’re insane and irresponsible and I cannot believe you’re dragging me into this again!

vash, softly: their mom got arrested at the protest.

meryl: what--!

vash: shhhh! the kids don’t know!

*meryl takes a breath to calm herself and glances at the soft brown faces of the kids watching tv across the room to confirm they hadn’t heard*

meryl: I’m sorry. go on. please.

vash: I knew the kids were with a teenage sitter and since their dad was killed a few months ago the emergency contact is their aunt but something happened and she can’t make it until morning. Child services might’ve taken the kids into custody before then.

meryl: and temporary custody might turn into them taking the kids away permanently, considering the circumstances, right? Yeah, I see.Though if I didn’t know you personally I’d think she was nuts for asking Vash the Stampede to help her out. I’m still on the fence sometimes.

vash, putting the baby on his shoulder and patting their back: haha, I’ve known her awhile. She’s a doctor! If any of the kids want to put bandaids on you please play along they like to pretend to be like mom.

meryl: how many bullets did she have to pull out of you when you first met?

vash: . . . only one . . . *mumbles* and a stab wound . . .

meryl: uh huh

vash, sulky: it wasn’t even my fault. these things just happen to me.

*baby spits up on vash*

vash: like that.

meryl: mmhm. are you sure you’re safe here for tonight?

vash: yup! all good! and if not I’ve got backup! Tada! *holds the baby up in the lion king pose*

meryl: you’re beyond help.

[doctorspork]

on my last ever non-ICU floor month and it is day 2 and I already can’t wait to be done. patients don’t want to talk to me? throwing things? hitting me? nurse repeatedly ignoring what I say in favor of my (tall male) intern 4 years my junior? check check check

[ravenmold]

Wait what the fuck hold on a minute. Hold on

Every

Everybody stay calm!!! Stay FUCKIN CALM WHAT NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE

The Advocate

Rating: G Fandom: Daredevil (Comics) Relationships: Matt/Foggy, Foggy & Karen Characters: Foggy, Karen Additional Tags: POV Foggy, Feelings Realization, Past Matt/Karen, Comic: Daredevil (1964) #63, Podfic Available

Summary:

When Karen announces she's quitting as secretary, boarding a plane, and most of all leaving Matt far behind, Foggy knows he has to take matters into his own hands to stop his friend from making the worst mistake of her life. She can't be serious about walking out on the best man Foggy has ever known, so he expects it to be easy. But while making his argument, Foggy butts up against a lot more than he's bargained for—and even learns something about himself in the process.

finally posted a new fic!

[spork-supremacy]

Had an inspirational burst of writing but when doing so I realised that I heavily characterise Jay as a compulsive liar and I actually can't tell how canon compliant that is.

I swear I have possession/skybound tinted glasses when it comes to him

[merlucide]

would you ever consider making a part 2 for the Blue Lock Icks! headcanons but with other characters? the one you made had me struggling to keep my composure while at work omg it's sooooo accurate

BLLK BOYS “ICKS” PT2

Notes: OMG STOP REALLY??? that makes me so happy omg tysm?? <33

characters: Isagi, Aryu, Chigiri, Shidou, Oliver, Otoya

pls again, don’t take this seriously 💀

PT1 PT2 “ICKS” BLLK BOYS GET

ISAGI YOICHI

Says O-possum instead of opossum

Uses the “😁” to show he’s happy

default wallpaper

2019 humor

scared of clowns (same Isagi, same)

worst fashion sense ever. just think of a white guy in his 30s in the year of 2017

ARYU JYUBEI

SQUEAKY SHOES

Licks his finger before turning the page

uses stereotypes often (not on purpose lol)

Makes sure the barista spelt his name write on his drink

wants to go to Paris just to pose at the Eiffel tower, wear a beret, and eat a baguette (okay but same..)

CHIGIRI HYOUMA

one-ups every thing

Makes over exaggerated faces so you know he’s judging you

Chews gum really loudly

If you move to much in bed he’ll kick you

highlights/ writes in his books

has so many hair products but like one body wash

SHIDOU RYUSEI

Walks up the stairs on all fours

Long ass finger nails (so chipped and have dirt in them)

Sends selfies when he’s on the toilet

knows how to throw it in a circle (he’s really good at it too…)

Eats lemon rines

Likes to sit really close to the screen at the cinema

Barks at dogs

Puts the book face down to bookmark his spot

Says “zoo wee mama”

Idk how to word this but, Shidou:

AIKU OLIVER 

(I know I did him b4 but I wanted to add one more thing)

“Where’s my hug at?”

keeps a toothpick in his mouth

actually calls you babygirl

OTOYA EITA

puts his socks over his sweats

doesn’t grease the pan

Wears hats inside

Sags his pants

smacks lips and it sounds really wet

puts peanut butter on his burgers

licks his fingers after he eats and doesn’t wash them afterwards

bends over at the waist when he is picking smth up

THOSE Naruto fans

Squeezes the middle of the toothpaste

uses a spork

Says “bop”

Says “drip”

Says “on God bro”

Says “You tripping”

Twerked on Karasu once

Owns so many shoes

Has very little milk in his cereal

Only likes chocolate ice cream

Uses blue ink pens

Fav bottled water brand is deer park

Forgets to zip his fly

his LED lights are always on red

ABHAHAHA I’m actually running out of icks

made May 25th 2024

[rottenpumpkin13]

Who out of AGSZC is the most difficult to care for after wisdom tooth removal?

I love how this implies that there's an easiest person to care for, when there isn't.

Cloud: Becomes unexpectedly bold on medication. Tries to challenge everyone to fights while barely able to stand.

Cloud, to Sephiroth: COME AT ME BITCH! *Sephiroth yields because based on the crazed look in Cloud's eyes, he's not entirely sure he'll win*

Angeal "I have classes to teach" Hewley: Doesn't understand the concept of medical leave and insists that he's fine. He is not. And yet they're unable to remove him from the premises. "If I'm away, who's going to tend to my plants?" (said while watering a coat rack). Found in the training room giving a lecture about honor to a training dummy. "I'm actually at peak performance," he says, while choking Sephiroth because "he looks evil."

Sephiroth: Like Angeal, he claims that he's fine because "I've endured worse in Professor Hojo's care." He is in denial. He is making everyone in his vicinity uncomfortable. Insists on attending board meeting but just stares intensely at everyone while drooling. Tries to write mission reports but it's just "tactical advantage" written 400 times. Attempts to lay down on the couch in Angeal's office (after Angeal found him explaining to Zack how one can commit murder with a spork). He just keeps waking up every 2 minutes to yell "JENOVA" and then goes back to sleep.

Genesis: He already despises the dentist and didn't want this in the first place. The only reason he agreed to it was because Sephiroth convinced him it would alter his face. Now Genesis is fully convinced he's dying. He's barricaded himself in his quarters with copies of Loveless and enough ice cream to kill a horse. Dramatically records a final message on his PHS and sends it to the group chat. "It was an honor fighting alongside you all, but now the goddess calls for my soul to return for to her embrace." They beat the door down 10 minutes after he sends it. He is fine. They find him standing in front of a mirror mumbling "I used to be beautiful" while icing his face. Refuses prescribed medication because "the suffering fuels my art." Later he's found scribbling illegible lines of poetry on the walls of his apartment, periodically wailing.

Zack: He's a runner. Ultimate escape artist. They have to keep an eye on him 24/7 because he was recently found in sector 5 trying to "adopt" a guard hound. Somehow ends up in the Honeybee Inn crying into a beautiful woman's arms about the pain. Convinces himself he can communicate with animals and other creatures. Brings home a Tonberry. Found teaching it to squats. He was unsuccessful, and also attacked.

[olderthannetfic]

Someone took screenshots of my fic and are now mocking me for my writing, it's resulted in hate in my comments and I don't know what to do. The only reason I found out about this was because someone in the comments posted a link to the twitter account that started it. It's the first time I've ever written a fic, is it normally like this? I feel utterly humiliated and hopeless. Do you have any advice? I just feel like I should delete everything and never interact with fandom again.

--

The best way to make them stop is to ignore them or laugh at them... even if that's not how you feel on the inside.

Joke's on them: they're giving you free advertising.

It is actually pretty common, or it used to be. AO3's culture is not like this for the most part, but the 00s were rife with "sporking" accounts, and there used to be whole communities of twits on FFN who would rip apart fic for being "OOC" when what they actually meant was "gay" and/or "horny".

It's a common pastime of the emotionally immature. They especially love inexperienced writers who are easy to cow. Don't give them the satisfaction.

As for the comments, delete the obnoxious ones. People like seeing their own stupid opinions, and people like joining dogpiles. If their stuff is deleted, it won't attract as many new people. If you moderate comments, they can't automatically get the thrill of seeing their nonsense out there.

I personally prefer to archive-lock all my work unless it's a recent exchange fic or something. That cuts down on drive-by morons.

[gracescoolbeans]

but nights with you are better [A.Giarratana]

paring: angela giarratana x reader

summary: sleepless nights aren’t so bad when you have angela to keep you company

warnings: none, just fluff; a few dashes of anxiety; sleepy angela being way too cute; shameless nerdy prudes must die plug; not proofread!

wordcount: 1.1k

a/n: i’ve been having a really hard time falling asleep lately so i wrote this fic instead of actually doing something about it 😅 i’ve been wanting to write angela fics since i started this blog but i’m finally committing! i have far too many ideas and not enough time but i’ll make it work somehow…hopefully 😶 anyway, hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

A sigh tumbles out of your mouth as you roll away from your girlfriend and stare up at the dark ceiling above you. You close your eyes and try to fall back asleep to no avail.

Looks like another sleepless night.

You turn your head to look at the brunette next to you, a part of you wanting to reach out and wake her. The two of you haven't been living together for long and you were still getting used to sharing a sleep schedule with someone else.

More than that, you were slowly becoming an expert in getting up out of bed without making a shit ton of noise. It wasn't as easy as it sounded. Especially because Angela's ears were somehow completely tuned to you.

You were making it work, though, and the slight challenge was a small price to pay to live with your girlfriend.

You and Angela had decided moving in together would fix both your need to find a better place to live (with slightly more manageable rent) and her need to spend more time with you in between her endless gigs. Her work ethic was admirable, albeit slightly unhealthy. At least this way, you could keep an eye on each other.

Of course, you'd sort of forgotten to mention the troubles you usually have with falling asleep and staying asleep. You didn't necessarily consider yourself an insomniac, but you did go through days, weeks, sometimes even months, of struggles that couldn't be soothed with warm tea or less screen time.

Your girlfriend, on the other hand, couldn't seem to get enough of sleep. She could nap anywhere as long as she was somewhat comfortable. It would be awesome if you weren't so jealous of her ability.

Angela needed her sleep, though. She worked way too hard for way too many hours and her only form of self-care was simply a plate of pasta and a glass of wine.

That's why you decided that instead of waking her up with your endless tossing and turning, you'd get up and put a comfort movie on the TV and chill there until you got sleepy again.

Instead of a movie, though, you stumbled across Nerdy Prudes Must Die and decided to watch it for the hundredth time. It didn't replace the soft sound of Angela's voice next to your ear when she held you against her, but it was good enough for now.

So, you snuggled up on the couch with an unbelievable amount of pillows, a warm blanket, and a slightly grumpy Spork next to the couch.

That's exactly where you were when Angela made her way out of the bedroom in search of you. "y/n?"

You turn your head at the sound of your girlfriend's voice, a soft smile pulling at the corners of your lips when you take in her sleepy appearance. "Hey, babe. Why're you awake?"

"Dunno," she shrugs as she struggles to suppress a yawn. "But I got worried when I didn't feel you. You okay?"

Her concern, paired with her extra raspy voice, makes your heart swell. "Yeah, I'm fine, just couldn't sleep."

She pouts, walking over to join you on the couch. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"So you could be grumpy and complain?"

"Good point."

You chuckle as you move over to make room for Angela. She manages to fit in between you and the couch, her arms wrapping around your middle and pulling you against her chest.

"Wait, what are you watching?" She asks.

"What do you think, doofus?" You reply, playfully elbowing her stomach. "Don't talk so much, though, it's my favorite part."

Your favorite part, of course, being the entirety of Dirty Girl. Angela, on the other hand, always has a hard time watching that part since she's way too focused on herself and her "mistakes". 

What she calls mistakes, though, you call her acting quirks. Quirks that turn Grace Chasity into one of the most complex and entertaining characters you've ever seen.

"Do I really have to watch this?" She grumbles, leaning down and burying her face in the side of your neck.

"You can go back to sleep if you want." Your hands find their way on top of hers and you allow your fingers to trace the backs of them, along with the slightly protruding veins that cover them.

"Not while I'm listening to myself."

It's hard not to find her constant complaining funny and you barely manage to hold in your laughter. She's always slightly more sensitive than usual when she's tired, so you take pity on her...for now.

Thankfully, she stops pouting long enough for you to watch the best part of the whole musical. You don't miss the way she sings the song under her breath even though you decide not to call her out on it.

"How many times have you seen this?" She asks once she's sure your favorite part has passed.

"A lot," you say, feeling your cheeks heat up with the admission. "I watch it when I miss you."

"Baby-" She tries her hardest to hold in a laugh but ultimately fails. "You could have just woken me up!"

Angela's clear amusement does little to soothe your growing embarrassment. You try to squirm away from her to avoid any further teasing but she simply holds you tighter, pulling you closer until you're flush against her once more.

"Sorry, sorry, you know I'm just teasing," she mumbles, pressing a line of kisses to the side of your neck.

"You're annoying," you huff.

Despite your words, you sink back against her once more, tilting your head slightly to give her better access to your skin.

"You know you love me, princess."

"That doesn't make you any less annoying."

Her kisses trail up your neck and onto your jaw before finally landing on your lips.

"I'm serious, by the way," she whispers once she pulls away. "Wake me up next time. I don't care how tired I am. I want to be here with you."

"Hmmm..." You pretend to think about it for a second just to steal another kiss from her. "You've got yourself a deal, angel."

She laughs again as she rests her chin on your shoulder, silently going back to watching the musical with you.

You make it all the way to Hatchet Town before your eyes grow far too heavy for you to keep them open. 

Angela gently shifts you until your head rests against her shoulder. She watches you for a few moments until she's sure you've gone back to sleep.

She knows her back will be awfully sore tomorrow morning and you'll definitely have a kink in your neck but it's a small price to pay for a few more hours of cuddles. Not just cuddles, though, she was banking on you staying asleep until morning this time.

She'd stay up all night to keep an eye on you if she had to. You're far more important to her than some extra hours of sleep.

[sporkberries]

debating writing a meta post about how bruce isnt a good father but i dont know if i want to invite the discourse.