#I have the need to put him through the same arc about lying but also to make it more indepth

[spork-supremacy]

Had an inspirational burst of writing but when doing so I realised that I heavily characterise Jay as a compulsive liar and I actually can't tell how canon compliant that is.

I swear I have possession/skybound tinted glasses when it comes to him

[icantbelieveitsnotbutler]

Does Sebastian Believe Ciel's Lies? (Do You?)

At various points in the manga, Ciel lies to Sebastian or to others in an effort to seem less emotionally vulnerable and invested in the things and people around him.

In some instances, Sebastian seems to see through it easily.

In other scenes, it's harder to tell what Sebastian is thinking. When I first read them, I thought it was obvious that Ciel was putting on a front to protect himself, and Sebastian, with hundreds if not thousands of years of experience with humans, would immediately realize that. Now, with the way Sebastian has been acting in more recent arcs, I'm not so sure.

After Madame Red's funeral, Sebastian accuses Ciel of being too kind, i.e. too emotionally attached to Madame Red to shoot her with his concealed gun when it became apparent that she was (half of) Jack the Ripper and she attacked him. Ciel answers that he didn't need to because Sebastian would have saved him. When Sebastian points out that Ciel stopped Sebastian when he tried to kill her to save him, Ciel says that he didn't think Madame Red really would have killed him.

The first time I read this, I thought Ciel was making up excuses after the fact, and that in the moment he didn't shoot her and stopped Sebastian because he cared about her. I still believe this, but I've realized that Sebastian might not.

Ciel goes on to say that Madame Red's weakness was that she hesitated to kill him, and that he himself doesn't have that weakness. This delights Sebastian so much that he gets chills.

I always assumed he was reacting like that because of the contrast between Ciel's tough words and actual feelings, like after the ring-breaking incident.

Now I think it's possible that he's accepting Ciel's words as the truth and is happy that his master is so cold.

A similar situation occurs after the incident at Kelvin's manor. In response to Sebastian's questioning, Ciel insists that he is visiting the circus troupe's orphanage not for emotional reasons, but because it is his duty as a nobleman to see what can be done for them now that their benefactor is gone. He also claims that he ordered Sebastian to burn Kelvin's manor with the children inside because, due to his detached, extremely logic-based reasoning, he came to the conclusion that they would be better off dead.

Again, I dont believe a word. Ciel told Sebastian to burn those kids because he was having a panic attack and he wanted Sebastian to get rid of the trigger. He's going to the orphanage because he knows he did something atrocious and wants to help, to save, the helpless. This is what I believe.

But does Sebastian? He drops the topic with a noncommittal response, I assumed because he knew pressing Ciel would only get more of the same justifications or irritate him, but now I'm not sure.

The most recent example I could find of this type of scene, where Ciel tries to conceal attachment and sentimentality with indifference, is after the public school arc.

Sebastian offers him a letter from McMillan but Ciel rejects it, ostensibly because he's done with the case and has no attachment to any of the people there.

Sebastian later opens it and finds a photograph of Ciel with his cricket team. Instead of offering it to Ciel, who thought it was just a letter and might feel differently about a photograph, Sebastian burns it.

This would be quite cruel and not worthy of a butler if Sebastian believed what I believe: that Ciel didn't want the letter because he is terrified of becoming attached to people and then putting them in danger and losing them. But I don't think Sebastian realizes Ciel is lying. I think Sebastian believes Ciel is as cold and detached as Sebastian himself, or at least on the way to being so.

In the beginning Ciel was just another human to Sebastian. But increasingly, he seems to be acting more like he views the world as 'us compared to them', rather than 'Sebastian compared to everyone else'.

In the circus arc, after Sebastian lets the snakes out before Ciel had a chance to get away, Ciel confronts him about it. For some reason, Sebastian seems surprised by his accusatory tone.

Sebastian explains that he was only following orders and that Ciel knows he wouldn't have let him get hurt, so he assumed Ciel would view his actions as an exciting addition to their game.

The most obvious and probable interpretation of this scene is that Sebastian is being sarcastic (does the contract rule against lying allow sarcasm?) and he released the snakes because he's a spiteful freak. He's turning the things Ciel has said against him (that Sebastian is only a pawn who acts according to Ciel's orders; that Ciel doesn't have to worry about his safety because Sebastian is required to save him).

But assuming that Sebastian thinks Ciel is like him, or becoming like him, the scene changes.

When Sebastian says, "As young master is insatiable when it comes to games, I assumed you felt the same way," perhaps he's being serious. This would explain his confusion at Ciel's anger. He's laughing and his fangs come out and his pupils go slitted because he's getting a rush from playing with Ciel, and he thinks Ciel is having fun as well. And he really is flattered that Ciel thinks his "idea of sport" is in bad taste, because for a demon, that's a good thing. This isn't how humans play, but it is how demons play.

But Ciel isn't a demon. He's a human child with human emotions, and if Sebastian has somehow allowed himself to be convinced by his facade, I can't imagine it ending well for either of them if he realizes his mistake.

[dykealloy]

spoilers up to the end of dressrosa arc here but. I can't stop thinking about how Law takes on Rosinante's will. Corasan freed him from Doflamingo and the marines and the world government and everyone that ever could have touched him at the time, but has Law really felt free? “Everything I do until I die represents what Corasan achieved” is sweet until you recognise that Law is willing (and planned) to go to the grave for that belief. Until Doflamingo dies there is always a part of him stuck in that treasure chest, constrained by what Law felt happened to Corasan due to him that day.

It's crazy how textbook survivors guilt victim Law is (I’m new here so I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the first time this has been brought up), but let’s just quickly go over some symptoms:

Obsessive thoughts about the traumatic event ✅ (will go over this in greater detail below)

A sense of disconnection or detachment/need to isolate oneself from others ✅ (Law doesn't fully isolate himself but he definitely has his walls up at all times, though there are often subtle hints of him enjoying the company of the people he chooses to surround himself with. He is notably more reserved, emotionally unavailable, cold and distant than others around him, and watching closely you'll notice that even physically he has a tendency to situate himself three steps behind the group)

Insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks of the traumatic event ✅ (if we can assume some of his backstory expressed in Dressrosa are flashbacks, and also assuming that the perpetual eyeliner he wears are covering some pretty heavy eyebags. Also mention that the only time we see him resting is against Sunny's mast on the way to Dressrosa - and that was 1. a filler episode, and 2. if he was sleeping, it was very quickly interrupted by an attack by petplay guy - a nightmare in of itself)

Irritability and anger ✅ (though elements of this could just be attributed to Law's personality or a natural response to the straw hat's shenanigans, as well as Luffy's total inability to stick to a reasonable plan)

Feelings of despair and thoughts of suicide ✅ (that's Law's Dressrosa arc babe)

Now, there's many reasons why Law is unable to move past this guilt (an apparent lack of therapists in one piece being one of them) - but his inability to believe in unconditional love is likely the biggest offender.

Law may have started off (initially) with one of the most fortunate, stable beginnings, with a loving family and a big house in a rich country (wealth of which was built off the back of lies and corruption and the murder of innocent future generations - we'll get there). But he had a mother and a father who loved and nurtured Law (and were both highly respected doctors in their own right who citizens trusted and relied on). Law's happy beginnings really juxtapose the unfathomable horror that had been lying in wait in Flevance.

Even when shit started to hit the fan, at a very young age (<10 yrs old), Law was already stepping up and showing love for his little sister (lying to her when she was on her deathbed, knowing full well he would likely face the same fate after reading his charts, putting on a brave face for her so she wouldn't be afraid when the screams began to reach their front door, hiding her away when soldiers sieged their home and rushing to check on his parents). Given everything that happened in Flevance, it's completely understandable that, while Law will likely never forget the love his family gave him, remembering it became twisted in the lasting memories of his home — parents riddled with bullet holes. a closet holding a sick little sister waiting for him in a house engulfed by flames. stumbling through a town of friends, neighbours, just... people he used to pass by on the street, now all dead.

Seeing hell, knowing why and how it transpired, who were responsible (spoilers, the World Government; the same body that most citizens believe exist to protect them — yeah, sister "a merciful hand of salvation waiting to help" were perhaps the worst possible combination of words you could have left Law with here. Likely instrumental in having him lose his faith "I don't believe in anything anymore."), knowing he is the only survivor, and fated to die anyway due to the terminal illness that is slowly killing him because some figureheads years back were greedy and the governing powers above the figureheads were willing to cover up everything if it meant garnering a portion of wealth and maintaining influence and control. It's beyond grief, beyond rage. And there's absolutely nowhere Law can put it. No one he can retaliate against. Who could come out of hell knowing this and not want to see the world burn?

So, smart little Law escapes under a pile of bodies and goes to the one person infamously revered for being in the business of that kind of thing. And boy oh boy I can only begin to imagine how a young and impressionable Law - fresh from a genocide, with a hole in his heart and a hatred for everything still alive - had his concept of love warped whilst surviving those two years around Doflamingo and his family. A family where members are only welcome so far as they are useful to Doflamingo and his aspirations. Of course Law's going to pick up some fucked up ideas about how love works outside this little white fence he grew up and watched burn down.

Then. Enter Corazon.

Their relationship may begin on shaky legs (near-juvenicide via defenestration in a failed attempt to ward Law away from sticking around) but Corazon quickly becomes the one person in the world Law can trust and rely on again. And Rosinante can only do so much in terms of healing and guiding this broken kid (yes, his position both as Doffy's brother and as a double agent made things difficult, but need I mention he was only 26! 26 when he died!) but he showed Law kindness and compassion when he was at his lowest. He had faith in the existence of a cure that Law was long past believing. Was determined to help him, even against Law's wishes, even if it meant having Law relive his trauma over and over again. Corasan becomes incredibly important to Law, giving him a reason to live beyond just destruction and revenge.

After the rest of the world had long turned his back on him, when he had been nothing but a dying puddle of rage and self-destructive nihilism, Corasan saved Law. He told Law "Aishiteru" - a very rare way of saying "I love you", never used casually due to the depth of its meaning and the massive connotations behind it - in essence translating to "I love you so much I cannot possibly imagine life without you". There's a high likelihood that at his age, Law had never heard these words before, and probably didn't quite understand the weight of Rosinante saying it at the time.

Corasan frees Law, then he dies at the hand of Doflamingo, Rosinante's own brother.

All Rosinante wanted was for this poor kid to go on and live his life unburdened by his more than turbulent history and his connection to Doffy, but I think for all his planning, Rosinante's one critical error was well and truly underestimating how much him loving Law, and loving Law to the extent he did, would mean to that kid. Law really went from that ten year old hollow void sentiment of "why does anyone or anything at all get to exist when everything that was important to me is dead, burned to ashes and wiped off the map" to "I should have died at age thirteen and every second I've lived since then, I've only lived as a result of Corasan's efforts and as a personal affront to Doflamingo." This time, Law has a tangible, heinous 10 foot monster of a target to direct 1. his grief and anger and 2. justice for Cora towards, and this time he has the power and will to follow through. More than that, he believes Corasan sacrificed himself for him because he's a D. (someone destined to rain down destruction on the gods - Doflamingo, in this case). Corazon becomes a saint that Law dedicates the rest of his life to. Which is something that Law is not vocal about to just anyone he comes across, but is so unbelievably obvious once you know what you're looking at — his tattoos, his jolly roger, his crew, his ship, his ambitions, his beliefs, his fucking. custom-made Corazon jacket. all of it for this man that showed Law - at a time when he hated the world and everything in it - love. For all of six months. max.

And his whole life and personality and behaviour CONTINUES to be guided by this trauma — the way he's reckless with himself, his borderline self-destructive actions, the way he keeps telling himself that none of it would've been worth it unless Corasan's last wishes are fulfilled, the way he surrounds himself with bright people and soft things, the way it doesn't register that his crew genuinely loves and cares about him, the way he's terrified of losing anyone important to him again (and I would say this is one of his biggest downfalls as a Captain compared to someone like Luffy - who is just as reckless as Law is but trusts his crew, doesn't try to send them away, isn't afraid to let them grow and risk their lives for him like Law is with the heart crew), his inability to take a damn compliment. The way he doesn't understand Luffy AT ALL.

Doesn't understand that this alliance that he's brokered means nothing to Luffy because he sees him as FRIEND. No transactions or mutually beneficial pacts necessary. Doesn't get that he's the one that inadvertently asked Luffy to be his friend, thus breaking a long chain of people (mostly parental figures and siblings) abandoning or leaving Luffy behind/no one taking the first initiative to ask to be around him. Law is complete and utterly in the dark as to why someone would ever bat for him when the stakes are this high for no other reason than because they like them and care about them as a person.

Luffy, with his playground rules where he loves unconditionally and will take on the world for a friend he made five minutes ago, perplexes Law with his sheer simplicity.

When Sengoku tells Law, "Don't try to find a reason for someone's love", I do NOT think he takes it well. Because there must be a reason. There has to be. Between the two options of Corasan saving Law's life and freeing him because he believed in the will of D., or Rosinante saving him for no other reason than because Law was a kid that was loveable, and because he loved him unconditionally... everything we've learned about how Law functions up until this point suggests the former will always make more sense to him, and after everything he's been through, is most likely less painful for him to accept.

[eccentricallygothic]

|| Bliss ||

Description: What happens when a spoiled and disgraced Princess is handed off to an ex-Winter Soldier as a strategy for the royal family to be rid of her and ensure the Soldier's loyalty to them at the same time?

Pairing: Dark Ex-Winter Soldier!Bucky Barnes | Brat Princess!Reader.

Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do not own Bucky Barnes or the Winter Soldier arc. This story contains dark and mature content so browse at your own discretion, please. Minors do not interact.

Warning(s): Dub-con, Dark!Bucky, arranged marriage, Brat!Reader, Brat Tamer!Bucky, spanking, exhibitionism, degradation, fingering, hair pulling, dumfication, pet names, blow job, gagging, choking, cock warming.

Note: Thank you all so so much for the love on this story! You have no idea how dear I hold it and each and every one of you to my heart! Muah!! <333 The chapter is unedited, I am sorry </3 Also, I did my best to tag everyone and if anyone got left out I am very sorry this story is my first time doing these lists and I am not very good at them 🩷

STORY MASTERLIST 

IV

"Did you put on that show at breakfast for the Queen to see, sweets?" James raised an eyebrow at his wife after he joined her at the backseat of the SUV that would drive them to their part of the Kingdom. 

She had refused to bid farewell to anyone after behaving quite well at breakfast upon his order, or rather, threat that he had given her when they had had their bath in the morning.

James would not tolerate being husband to an out of control wife. He knew exactly how to put a leash on little deviants such as Her Highness.

Then Y/n had acted like nothing was out of the ordinary, nodding obediently when he informed her that the cars were ready for them and his men before exiting the Palace whilst her family had watched her back expectantly.

"What are you talking about, James?" The bride from last night was barely there anymore as she lied through her teeth. His jaw ticked. "I have no idea whatever you mean." 

The man sighed, sitting back as he shook his head and hooked an arm around her back. "Now, what did I tell you about lying to me last night?" She was staring out the window but he could tell she was pouting. 

"I am not." 

Oh, he was going to have so much fun crushing this pathetic little brat of his.

James clicked his tongue. "So you are lying to your husband after you used him like a disposable pawn in your little game with your mother-"

"Step-mother" the Princess corrected him, turning around to look him in the eyes with her agitated ones.

He raised an eyebrow. "So you are admitting it, then?"

"I didn't do it to disrespect you" her eyes turned soft and eyebrows furrowed worriedly. "I just-"

The Chief clicked his tongue. "Come on up" his vibranium hand patted his lap. "Little girls like you cannot just make and execute their own decisions. You need to learn your place." 

Her bottom lip jutted out. "But–"

"Butts get spanked and fucked, come on" his words made a blush and giggle burst out and into her shy hands unexpectedly. For both. He hadn't meant to say it. It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

James wasn't a boy that said things like these.

But he still did.

And her response made it worth it.

He could get used to this.

"James!"

Was he trying to compensate for the centuries long generational gap?

For her?

"I haven't even done anything and you're already this worked up" the embarrassment on her shy face worked him up in the best way. Her real self was so different from the facade she put up. So easy. So soft. So fragile to crush and plunder. "Tsk, Mrs. Barnes. What am I going to do with you, hm?" His hand pushed at her ass. 

"Not too painful, please?" Y/n batted her lashes at him prettily. 

The driver was so uncomfortable James could sense it. But he dared not glance at them through the rearview mirror. He wouldn't. If he cared to keep his eyes and head. 

"Stalling will only add to your punishment, sweets." A small whine left her as she pouted and crawled his lap begrudgingly with her head lowered. 

"No fair" she whispered so softly under her breath that it made her gasp when he responded. 

There would be a lot of getting used to to an enhanced man.

"I'll tell you what isn't fair." Pushing her dress up to her waist, James placed his non-human arm over her back to press her in place. "What isn't fair is lying to me when I have been nothing but a good husband to you" spanking both her clothed cheeks at the same time, he peeled her underwear off. "What isn't fair is you using me as a pawn to deny your step-mother her satisfaction" a loud whine filled the air when he rained down spanks on her already hurt and bruised bottom. 

"James, please! Husband, please! It hurts so much!" Y/n's legs kicked in defense, ass trying to dodge his hits. 

"It hurts, does it?" He feigned surprise, removing his arm from her back to hold her by the hair at the back of her head, pulling it closer so he could whisper in her ear. "Then why are you so wet, baby?" James' eyes were trained on the rearview mirror, watching the nervous driver carefully to make sure he wouldn't steal a glance. 

No one except him could see his wife in this state.

"You've made such a mess on my hand, look" moving her head by her hair to allow her an easier view of his hand that he had been spanking her with, the Chief showed her his wet fingers. "Tsk, what a dirty little girl I have here."

Y/n blushed and bit her lip, embarrassed yet aroused. "Please…"

"Please what, hm?" Letting go of her hair, his hand now reached for her throat for a better grip, still holding her face close to his lips. "Need husband to take care of you?" A smirk made it's way on his face when she whimpered in response to his other hand caressing her sensitive ass. 

"... Y- Yes, please…" Biting her lip, the Princess pushed her ass up and into the Chief's fingers when they travelled down the crack of her ass, resting at her wet entrance. 

"Here?"

"Yes!" It was pulsating with need. "Yes, please, James! Right there!" 

The man's digits circled and rounded her entrance like a beast does its prey, coating themselves in her slick before spreading it over her touch-starved folds. Lewd hums and moans started to flow out of the girl's mouth in response, hips swaying and fingers gripping the man's thigh.

"You love being dominated and put in your place, don't you?" The super soldier snickered, feeling a shiver run down his spine at the erotic gasp that ripped it's way out of his wife when he finally allowed her the aid of a finger inside her wet ring of muscles. "I knew it, it's always naughty little brats like you who rile people up desperately just so someone can come along and beat some manners into their pathetic holes." His dirty talk was making her insides flutter, droplets of cold sweat decorating her temples as one ran down the side of her face.

The girl was too far gone to care or notice whe her husband moved her out of the way, momentarily letting go of her neck which made her collapse against his thighs, fucking herself on his fingers softly as her eyes fluttered shut. 

"Come here" grabbing a hold of her head by her hair again, the man guided it to his hard cock. "Look at what you do to me, sweets." Her confused and surprised face was inches from his thick and tall cock as James peered down at her. "Now you must be a good wife and take care of it."

"What-" 

"Tsk, aren't you the most precious and dumb little wife?" Y/n was starting to like how he crooned at her. "Needs her husband to teach her everything." Clicking his tongue, he added a second finger to her tight pussy. "Open up, baby. Let me see that pretty sucker" holding her cheeks between his hands hurriedly, the man pushed them open, causing a tiny O to form between her lips through which he pushed the tip of his cock inside but moving his hips. 

"Princess…" James called out warningly when she jumped up in response, trying to move away only to freeze at his tone, peeking up at him through her lashes with questioning eyes as he explored her oral cavity bit by bit till he was properly inside. "That's it, baby" the man praised, biting back a moan when she gagged in response to his tip tickling the back of her throat. "Fuck. This is perfect. You're such a fine set of wet little holes." 

Speeding up the movements of his fingers inside her pussy, he guided her face up and down his cock by his other hand, hips aiding the process as he tried not to but still made her gag and choke with each thrust. 

The car filled with sounds of slapping, choking, squelching, gagging, cursing and moaning as it ran smoothly on the highway roads, the driver using all his willpower to not look back or act bothered, ignoring the headache hurting his eyes. 

"Hnnnmmmm~" The Princess moaned against James' cock, hips bucking up as she finally climaxed, her shudders and grunts sending vibrations down the man's cock and adding to the heat that was settling in his own abdomen. 

He was close but it wasn't until Y/n unintentionally placed her hand on his ballsack to try and brace herself against the face fucking that had turned quite brutal that her husband collapsed, cursing loudly as he came down her throat, causing her to choke which made her nose ooze out some of his seed. 

"You better… fucking… swallow every drop." The man warned, his chest burning at how perfect she looked with mouth full of his cock, mascara smudging her face and nose decorated with his cum. Keeping his fingers buried in her cunt, James put her worked up face down against his lap, a hand gently placed behind her head to keep her in place with her mouth still stuffed full of him. 

"Keep it there and don't move" he panted, feeling her widened nostrils exhale out overwhelmed breaths as she had no choice but to cockwarm him with her mouth. "This will teach you your true place." Pressing a kiss to the exhausted girl's head, he whispered in her ear. "Between my legs with your cute sucker full of my cock."

Tag list <3: @darkserenity24 @darkghostfairy @bonkybarnes106 @gloriouspurpose01 @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @kandis-mom @jjmaybankslittleslut @braverthanthenewworld @princezzjasmine @angiestopit @nd264 @yourdryadwife @ireneop @marvel-fandom23 @imsonick @smut-reader @ashovertheriver @candybabysworld @sebastians-love @jessicaloons @neeezza101

[charlottesbookclub]

time after time – chapter fourteen (armitage hux x reader)

time after time masterlist

Summary: Hux reels in the aftermath of the explosion

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader; set pre-TFA; serious injuries; hurt/no comfort (yet); angst; medical settings and procedures; mention of throwing up; self-loathing; implied self-harm; memories of child abuse; brief suicidal ideation; as always, let me know if I've missed anything!

Words: 3453

Author’s Note: alright I won't lie to you, this is a rough chapter. like I mentioned in my previous author's note, I did write this story with a narrative arc, so it is now time for the main conflict of the story, which is ultimately mostly just Hux versus his own fears and self-doubt. in this chapter, unfortunately, he's in a fragile mental space where he lets them win. however, I have counted, and there are only four (4) hurt/no comfort type chapters here, including this one (so only three after this). sorry to put us all through this, but we're establishing the stakes of the story, so that hopefully what comes after will feel even more rewarding. and if you like angst, then oh boy are these the chapters for you! thank you for (hopefully) sticking with me! I promise there is much lovely and sweet stuff (and more kisses!) to come! ☺️❤️‍🩹

oh and i should also mention to check out the warnings on this one! absolutely no worries if you would like to sit this one out since it does cover some tough topics ❤️‍🩹

Hux blinked his eyes open slowly, a sharp pain lingering in his head. He was met with the once-too-familiar ceiling of the med bay. No. This could not be happening again. Not after everything. The thought of being forced to start again made him feel physically ill. But as his senses returned to him, he realized this was not the same as before. Rather than the two medics looming above him, there was faint shouting in the distance, and he heard a rush of footsteps. He pushed himself into a sitting position, flinching instantly against a stinging pain in his arm. He was not in a private examination room in medical. Around him were other officers lying on cots, many with small, visible wounds on their bodies. Directly next to him was Hondrill, a layer of gauze wrapped around a bacta patch on her arm. Seeing the lieutenant brought everything back to Hux in a devastating rush. The memories hit him all at once with almost the same force as the blast, forcing him to lay back down to catch his breath. He sorted through the scattered images in his mind, trying to make sense of the chaos. Then, from the messy pile of remembrances came one screaming, terrifying thought: where were you?

He shoved himself upwards, ignoring the pain in his head and his arm as he threw himself from the cot. He was unsteady on his feet for a moment, wavering as the room went sideways. His momentary lapse in momentum allowed enough time for a medic to hurry over to him.

“General, please, you need to lay back down,” she insisted, hands up as though to catch him and deposit him back on the cot if he should fall. He did not intend to fall.

“Where’s the captain?” he asked, realizing that his voice came out hoarse.

“In surgery,” the medic responded bluntly, “now please lay down, sir.”

“In surgery?” Hux repeated the words, trying to make meaning of them. In surgery. Why the kriff were you in surgery? You couldn’t be in surgery. That would mean… that would mean something was seriously wrong. Hux braced himself against the edge of the cot. Bile rose in his throat, threatening to heave from his mouth. His chest was suddenly wracked with spasms. He fell to the cold floor, landing hard on his knees.

The medic was saying something into her comlink, but Hux wasn’t listening. He was barely feeling anything at all, not the pain in his body, not the bite of the hard floor. The only thing he could think about was the horrible, agonizing, all-consuming image of you in surgery. He hardly noticed when he was pulled from the ground and conveyed to a private exam room. Another medic came in, checked some things, and spoke to him, but Hux was utterly numb. It was only when Mitaka’s worried face appeared in his field of vision that he began to come back to himself.

“General?” Mitaka asked, his voice quavering. “Are—are you alright? The medics thought you might be in shock…”

Hux processed the question. He looked around. He and Mitaka were alone in the exam room, the lieutenant standing in front of him as he perched on the edge of the cot. You were in surgery.

“What happened?” Hux asked, his voice no less ragged than before. Mitaka hesitated.

“The inspection team is still completing their investigation, sir. They haven’t released any of their findings yet.” Hux could tell he was stalling, that he knew more than he was saying.

“But you know something – tell me.”

“General, I— The medics are worried that you are in great distress, and they told me that revealing any more information might worsen your emotional state.” Mitaka looked around nervously, almost as though a medic might enter at any time to see him disobeying their instructions. Hux could feel himself shaking. He grabbed Mitaka’s arm and the lieutenant’s attention instantly returned to him, his eyes wide with fear.

“Dopheld, you need to tell me what you know,” Hux pressed the words through his clenched teeth, ready to beg if he had to. Whether it was his rare use of Mitaka’s first name, his grip on the lieutenant’s forearm, or his desperate tone – perhaps even all three – Mitaka finally broke.

Hux listened in horror as Mitaka related what he knew of the incident. Either one of the droids had made a mistake, or the device was specifically designed to resist diffusion efforts. Regardless of cause, the explosive was detonated as you and Hux were boarding the shuttle. Hux had been thrown against one of the walls, sustaining a cut on one of his arms and significant bruising across his body. The droids were destroyed, but everyone else – even the team in the house – escaped with moderate injuries at worst. Except you. Hux buried his head in his hands. The back of the ship had crumpled with the force of the blast, and you had been caught beneath a piece of the metal frame. It had cut a deep gash up the length of one of your legs, breaking parts of the bone. Hux let out a shuddering breath, no longer able to keep himself sitting upright. He slid onto the floor, leaning against the cot. Mitaka almost stopped and called for a medic, but Hux demanded that he continue.

The rescue teams had pulled you from the wreckage as quickly as they could, but the blood loss had been severe. They rushed you to emergency surgery, where you had been ever since. No one had received an update for quite some time. Hux stared blankly at the floor, his mind painting horrifically vivid pictures of the scene. Almost without being conscious of doing so, his stomach began contracting and he threw up into a garbage receptacle that Mitaka had hurriedly retrieved. As he panted pathetically on the floor of the exam room, he wasn’t sure if he was dry heaving or sobbing or both.

He had been wrong when he woke up in the med bay. He desperately wanted to go back to the beginning. If it meant he hadn’t met you yet, hadn’t touched you, hadn’t kissed you, he could live with that. He would do everything again, a hundred times – a thousand times – if he needed to. He’d live in that cursed loop for the rest of his life if it would undo this. Anything but this. 

“General?” Mitaka finally asked again, now nearly on the verge of panic. “Please allow me to call a medic – you are very unwell.”

“I did this,” Hux whispered to no one, clenching his fists on the dark tile of the floor, letting the cold surface bite at his tensed knuckles. He had so many chances to do something differently – to make you leave. But he had been weak. Deep down, he hadn’t wanted you to go, had hated the idea of being parted from you – and you had suffered for it. 

“General, that’s—that’s not true,” confusion rattled in Mitaka’s voice, “you handled the situation well – no one could have anticipated this. In fact, the preliminary investigations are showing that the senator was the intended target of the attack – it’s not clear whether the perpetrators even knew there were First Order personnel in the area.” Mitaka’s words changed nothing. 

“I could have done better,” Hux muttered, digging his nails into his palms until he felt the familiar crescents of pain on his skin, “and this wouldn’t have happened.”

“General, I—” Mitaka’s words were cut off by the sound of the door whirring open.

“Lieutenant, may I speak with you?” An unfamiliar voice, likely that of a medic, drew Mitaka away from Hux’s huddled form. He was only too aware that he looked utterly pathetic, sprawled powerlessly across the floor. But even that thought was not enough for him to summon the energy to stand. 

Hux was conscious of the murmuring voices in the doorway, but he made no attempt to decipher them. His father was right: he was weak, he was a failure. He couldn’t even protect the one person in the galaxy that he truly cared for. That he truly loved. Hot tears leaked unbidden from his eyes. He was disgusted by them – disgusted by himself. He wanted to take a knife and cut himself open, to crawl out of his own skin. He deserved to be the one crushed under a pile of twisted metal; he would have given anything to take your place on the operating table, to take any pain you felt and multiply it by a hundred, absorbing it all into his own body even if – especially if – it broke him. Then maybe that would be just punishment for his failings. 

Mitaka reappeared beside him, looking significantly calmer. Hux couldn’t comprehend how that was possible when his whole world was in ten thousand jagged pieces, each one cutting him.

“General, that was the head medic,” Mitaka reported, “she says that the captain has come out of surgery and is still heavily sedated, but stable.”

Stable. Your condition was stable. More shuddering sobs broke through Hux’s body. Mitaka put an awkward hand on his shoulder, clearly trying to comfort him. If you were stable, Hux needed to be too. He pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“You may call a medic for me now, Lieutenant,” he told Mitaka, grasping for some semblance of authority in his tone. Mitaka let out a relieved breath.

“Yes, sir – thank you, sir.” He scampered quickly from the room. In the short moment that he was gone, Hux made the monumental effort to clamber back onto the cot. A general of the First Order couldn’t be found curled up on the floor like a frightened child. He needed to start thinking clearly again. He needed a new plan.

The door whizzed open again and Mitaka entered with another medic. She consulted her datapad and ran a series of tests. Hux complied with all her requests and answered each of her questions. She made efficient notes on all his responses. The head medic reentered and the two consulted briefly. The head medic then signed something on the datapad and spoke to Hux:

“Your vitals are looking mostly normal, General. I’ve cleared you for release to your quarters, but you will have required check-ins each cycle for the near future so that we can continue to monitor your condition. I’ve given Lieutenant Mitaka some painkillers for you. They will make you dizzy and tired, so I recommend waiting to take them until you reach your quarters. If you experience any new or worsening symptoms, contact us immediately.”

Hux nodded in acknowledgement and both medics left the room. Hux pushed himself from the cot, still feeling far from normal. Sensations were slowly coming back to him: a dull pounding behind his eyes, a lingering pain in his arm. Exhaustion was draining away every ounce of energy left in his body. He pictured you lying on a cot in the intensive wing, sedated, probably bristling with tubes and bacta patches. It should have been him.

“General, please allow me to accompany you back to your quarters,” Mitaka insisted, still looking a bit worried.

“Yes – fine, Lieutenant.” Hux no longer had it in him to resist.

The trip through the Finalizer’s hallways was long and painful. Hux found himself unable to maintain his usual brisk pace, his injuries making themselves more evident with every step. It was not an entirely unusual feeling, Hux thought ruefully. He recalled academy inspections where he was required to stand straight and unmoving while the bruises from his father were an aching, ugly purple just underneath the fabric of his uniform, making each breath an ordeal. Then there were the shifts after another locker room pummeling from the other cadets, their bladed laughter still ringing in his ears as each place where his thin frame had found a metal corner forced him to suppress a grimace when he moved. Pain had settled in Hux’s body at a young age, a tiresome yet predictable companion that he never seemed able to shake.

When he reached his door, Mitaka handed him the small box of capsules the head medic had promised. Hux took them before blearily entering his credentials and watching the door slide open.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay, sir?” Mitaka asked, worry still pulling at his features.

“I’ll be fine, Lieutenant. Thank you for your concern,” he replied wearily. He was about to enter his quarters when another thought occurred to him, and he turned to Mitaka again. “Not a word of what you witnessed to anyone else,” Hux demanded, trying to make his voice forceful, “not even to my other personal staff.” He had been a wreck – he knew that – and he had to try to contain the damage as much as possible. Even if there was other damage that he couldn’t mitigate, couldn’t undo. He was all too aware of that.

“Never, sir – you have my word.” It seemed that having witnessed his commanding officer in such a state had deeply affected Mitaka, as Hux was absolutely assured of his silence by the conviction in his words. He gave the lieutenant one last parting nod before he slipped into his quarters.

As soon as the door had whirred shut and locked, Hux fell back against it, sliding heavily to the floor. The container of painkillers slipped from his hand, and he kicked them away, sending them skidding across the smooth, dark floors. He couldn’t take them – he deserved to feel every ounce of pain in his body, every cut and abrasion and bruise. Even then it wouldn’t come close to what he knew you were experiencing.

He caught a little flash of color: the loth cat on his desk. Standing shakily, he moved toward it, picking it up and holding it delicately in his palm. He looked over the little purple flowers, the carefully carved legs and paws. He thought of you, a mess of crushed bone and metal. He caught himself on the edge of his desk, eyesight suddenly blurry from tears. He didn’t deserve this – he couldn’t touch anything that was beautiful without breaking it. Slowly pulling open the bottom desk drawer, he deposited the loth cat and your notes to him in the bottom. He could never destroy the things you had given him, but he also didn’t deserve to see them again. They were meant for someone else, someone good. 

Hux paced through his rooms, ending up on his bed, looking out the viewports into the ocean of stars beyond. It hadn’t taken him long to realize you were everywhere in his quarters. You were on the floor beside his desk, holding him while he fell apart in your arms; you were in his sleeping area, giving him tea and begging him to rest; you were at his table, laughing at something he said; you were on his couch, curled up against him and falling asleep in his embrace. And yet you weren’t. You were in the med bay, suffering because he had been too weak to protect you. You had been scared, had asked if you could stay with him, and it was because of him that you couldn’t be here. That you would never be in his quarters again. 

The realization was enough to steal the breath from his lungs. He had known it far down within himself, felt it like bone-deep ache of a childhood wound. He watched his tiny hand slip just beneath the surface of the waves, a dribble of blood from his nose landing in the water and dissolving in sickening swirls of red. The stone was still clutched in his fist, but he loosened his grip on it, watching the mesmerizing shine of it dance between his fingers one final time before he set it free. It tumbled in the frothy motion of the tide for a moment, winking happily at him before it disappeared into the dark grey depths of the water. He withdrew his empty hand.

Whatever he had felt the first time he had decided to set you free was nothing compared to this. He thought he had been in agony then, but now they would have to name a new, more excruciating type of pain just for him. He could have been locked in any torture cell in the galaxy, and it would have paled before what he was experiencing alone in his chambers. 

He had brought this upon himself – it was his penance and his punishment for his own weakness. If he had let you go the first time he resolved to do so, he wouldn’t have had to know. He had guessed at it, yes, and dreamed, but he hadn’t known. He hadn’t known the sunlight warmth of your touch, the golden sound of your laugh, the way you happily folded yourself into him, the way you kissed him with everything in you. The way you loved him. 

And now he knew. He had been foolish and weak and wouldn’t commit to what he always understood was better for you. He had given into the rush of the freefall, dragging you toward the ground with him until you had landed in a broken pile at his feet. He knew it was a consequence of letting you get too close to the wreck that was Armitage Hux – he was always going under and was bound to drown you in his wake. He had known this and had pulled you in anyway. So it was only fair that he had to know everything else. He deserved to be haunted by every smile, every touch, every memory. He deserved to live with the knowledge that he almost had everything, but that he had never been worthy to hold something so precious. 

Hux’s hands were weapons, and for the unforgivable crime of hurting you, they deserved to be forever empty. A tear fell into his open palm. When he looked out at the stars again, he found them smudged and blurry, a mess of light and darkness. With a shaky breath, he reached for his datapad.

Body wracked with silent sobs, he scrolled through a list of planets securely under First Order control. Planets that were far from him. He pulled up your personnel file, the sight of you in your identification image enough to make his heart seize in his chest. He could not be weak this time. With shaky fingers, he reassigned you, effective immediately upon your release by medical. He confirmed the reassignment, and when your file auto-refreshed, the system-generated message that appeared at the top punched a hole straight through his body: ‘requested personnel outside of jurisdictional control – no longer Finalizer crew member pending medical release.’ 

He had to close his eyes. He tried to calm his panicked breathing by telling himself that this was better. He would send you to a well-defended base. You could live in the sun and look at art and be happy, not be trapped in this black, feelingless hull with him. You could be safe. Maybe you’d even find someone who was far better for you than he was. The thought of seeing you laugh and smile for anyone else the way you did for him, the idea of anyone else touching you, holding you, kissing you, made him think he might throw up again, retching on his bed in spasms of anguished jealousy. He would have to live with that too, another punishment he deserved. He had relinquished any claim he had on you, the impersonal message at the top of your file had made that sickeningly official. He could only have you in the way that hurt the most: in the private knowledge that you were everything he had ever wanted, but could never have deserved.

He cast the datapad into the darkness, unable to stop his entire body from shaking. He dug around in the drawer of his bedside table, fishing for the hidden supply of sleeping pills that he rarely used. He almost regretted that he hadn’t stashed enough for a fatal dose. He swallowed them, waiting to fall into the oblivion of a dreamless sleep. As they began to take effect, he begged any power that would listen to let him go back to the beginning, to reset the clock again. He wished with all the energy left in his battered body that he would wake up in medical again, having just fainted from his injection. He would do everything better next time – he would let you go.

[kadextra]

having many thoughts about “you have only seen me when I’m crazy” because. yeah

q!Bagi doesn’t have the frame of reference everyone else does. she never knew q!Bad when he was red colored, and the responsible calm egg babysitter. she isn’t aware of how drastic this shift in him is. yet this new island arrival is SUPER worried for him, even more than the islanders who knew him before and got to watch his descent into madness in real-time. there can be multiple reasons for that

all the islanders have a prior perspective of q!Bad being the person who they rely on to help with anything. even if they see him going kinda crazy exploding mines & the changes of his appearance, this is q!Bad we’re talking about! the resident capable & put together guy, he always helps so they may think he knows how to handle it.

and you bet they have so much faith he will recover from… whatever is happening to him, as he always does from any difficult situation. this faith is why they have always trusted q!Bad with the lives of their kids. just gotta give it some time, because everything will be okay once the eggs return, right? (nobody knows the extent of the damage and the lines he crossed. he will have severe consequences)

the majority don’t continue prodding q!Bad with questions when he puts on the denial mask and starts lying to their faces, because they are also doing the same thing. everyone is going through their own unique sorrow, pain & self-isolation arc rn, so the focus/energy in worrying for others is kinda dulled… it’s understandable. the entire island is experiencing grief, so they accept q!Bad is too and don’t bug him much. however, even if they aren’t in the trenches always pushing him for answers, there’s still many people (like forever, baghera, etoiles) who are keeping a watchful eye on his declining condition. <3

q!Bagi is a very different situation though. “you have only seen me when I’m crazy” he’s right. Bagi is the only person on the island to have this unique perspective & understanding of q!Bad. she lacks all of the points above: doesn’t see him as the reliable guy, has no reason to put extreme faith in him, and isn’t emotionally damaged from grief. arriving with nothing, she sees the facts presented in front of her- a kind person she has spent lots of time with and considers her best friend, who is spiraling out of control and needs help.

it’s amazing how quick she adapted to his behavior and doesn’t accept his lies. Bagi is an investigator at heart and puts hard pressure on him to open up, the only other person doing that is q!Foolish. she doesn’t believe Bad is in a state that can be easily recovered from, rather that he is getting worse, and is scared that one day it’ll become too late and he will literally fade away if no action is taken. so she has been running around with urgency, catching onto any piece of relevant info about the eggs, his condition, anything she can use to help him ASAP.

…I want to really stress again how she has never known a version of q!Bad that isn’t flawed and broken. but she still sincerely says “I care about you and will do everything in my power to help you.” and that’s just. ough :(

of course q!Bagi would be the only person who he openly admits not being okay to <3

[allwormdiet]

Buzz 7.11

I was so caught up in the euphoria of not having to read about the Empire that for a minute I lived in this world where Coil didn't exist

And so we arrive at The Coil Bunker. Heard this sucker come up once or twice in my time on the periphery.

Somehow I got the impression that it was more established than this. Sounds like a recent development rather than a long-standing stronghold, with the construction going on inside as well as out.

They are already so done with Coil's shit, there's nothing to be impressed by with this guy

It really is a rapid acceleration of their workload, yeah. Even setting aside that the Wards did basically nothing during the gallery job, they've gone against every hitter in the city except most of New Wave and the ones under Coil's employ, and frankly I'm willing to guess that changes down the line.

Coil's value to them as a boss has nothing to do with himself and everything to do with his resources. If he keeps putting them in more trouble than he's worth, then a coup would almost certainly be in order.

"Do you need reassurances that I'm not going to fuck up like some kind of moron and condemn you all to a pointless death in order to work for me?"

"Uh, yeah? It'd be nice?"

I'd talked about this elsewhere, but Coil's fuckup here breaks in two possible ways:

Either he genuinely could not think beyond pulling back the curtain on the Empire's identities and forgot his subordinate villain team who both have a member famous for knowing things she shouldn't and also publicly beefed with the Empire maybe a week ago, or

he actually did realize that the Undersiders would be caught in the blast radius of this plot, figured he'd roll the dice on their survival, and is now lying in a way that makes him sound shortsighted and careless

Like yeah no shit they don't have much faith in him, either he's a moron or a liar willing to look like a moron. Worst-case scenario he's both.

I hate this part. Fuck Coil, truly.

Hate.

Let me tell you how much I've come to hate Coil since I began to read Worm.

There are one million, six hundred and eighty million words in the web serial Worm. If the word "hate" replaced every character within those words it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for Coil in this micro-instant.

Hate.

Hate.

So this is actually a genius bit of writing, but it's also ironclad proof that Coil has loose gravel in place of a brain. The chances of success are lowering because "the Undersiders" are increasingly unlikely to include Skitter as a member, because she's sickened, horrified, and outraged by what her boss is doing and absolutely will not do what he asks of her at this rate. I'm willing to bet Tattletale knows what's going on, provided that she managed to tear her eyes away from the horror show in order to check on her teammates, but Coil, resident criminal mastermind, apparently doesn't realize that the odds for his pet villain team are getting worse because he's making one of the strongest members of the team hate him more with every second of this exchange.

We know what's going on in Taylor's head before she can even say anything because of this exchange. That's really well done.

I hope Coil dies screaming.

I was going to post a line from Arc 5 or 6 that I'd noticed, about the offhand news of a girl missing presumed dead, but I couldn't find it when I was going back through. I knew about it well before starting my liveread, though. Dinah Alcott. The twelve-year-old girl Coil keeps in his basement, gives drugs, and calls "pet."

Maybe I could've liked Coil more if he was just a kind of ineffectual mastermind and lousy boss, or maybe I wouldn't have felt such an active revulsion towards him, I dunno. But this puts him on a different layer of evil than just some kinda shadowy puppet master or gang boss or whatever. This isn't cops and robbers, this is the same kind of foul play that Heartbreaker operates on, and everyone hates Heartbreaker.

Also not sure exactly what emotions Tattletale is dealing with here but I don't know if people can make the blood drain from their face on demand so she's probably not fronting? She's had me nervous ever since she started more openly cooperating with Coil, but here's reassurance she's got a standard that he doesn't.

Current Thoughts

I will clap and cheer when Coil gets what's coming to him.

[mikami]

"Did Light love his family?" Anon - Catch-All Answer

Since these are six asks that are all about in the same vein, I am gonna just put the responses into one post for organization's sake.

Light begs his father to kill Mello because he wants his father's death to have been good for something. Nothing pains him more than the idea of having let this happen without it even accomplishing his goal.

Light is the physical manifestation of the lost cost fallacy: he needs to keep going because he sacrificed too much to stop and allow those sacrifices to be rendered meaningless.

And Light rationalizes. It's one of his most prominent character traits: instead of acknowledging his own emotions, he tries to filter his thoughts into nothing but emotionless pragmatism.

This is consistently portrayed through the 'hidden eyes' visual key - Light is excellent at lying to himself, in his own thoughts, which is why Obata gave us this clever way of seeing when this is happening even as Light's own internal monologue doesn't reflect it.

I have an incomplete list of these instances here, especially as pertaining to his family.

Ultimately, if we disagree that Light rationalizes his feelings rather than allowing himself to fully feel them, then none of my arguments are ever going to make sense to you and vice versa.

As a short addendum, here's Ohba's own words on this chapter (HTR13 p.80): "Even if there was acting involved in Light's tearful performance, I don't believe the tears are 100% an act." (も し月の涙に演技入っていたとしても、100%演技の涙では到底ないと思います。)

Soichiro already made the eye deal, which is an absolutely horrifying sacrifice to have made. Light wanted it to be as useful as it could possibly be, in order to justify the magnitude of the price.

I hate to say it, but you're really gonna have to take this one up with Ohba himself. On Page 65 of HTR13, he literally says that he picked Sayu as a kidnapping victim because Light loves his family and wouldn't kill her. (Unlike Misa, whom he would have just killed in this scenario rather than letting the plot progress.)

The panel you are thinking of is this one, where he is panicking, but you're not putting it into perspective.

In a previous chapter (62) Ide was about to inform the whole police force that Sayu Yagami was kidnapped. Soichiro was about to agree to this.

If Light had let this happen, he could have killed Sayu without narrowing down the suspect pool at all. They already know that Kira has ties to the police. He would have removed the leverage the mafia had held against them and gotten off entirely scott-free.

He does decidedly NOT do that. It's LIGHT personally who stops Ide from giving him the perfect alibi. EVEN RYUK CALLS OUT HOW ODD THAT WAS AS A MOVE.

And sure, Light says 'oh yeah, now nobody will suspect us!!' but nobody was really suspecting them to begin with.

This is what I mean - Light never allows himself to just feel things, he always rationalizes himself to justify his actions to himself.

His father dying. Dude.

.... literally why would he? Like, even if they don't accept Kira they also pose absolutely no threat to Kira.

I've covered all of this above, but I am including the ask to say that yes, I've seen it. The core issue here is that we disagree on Light's relationship to himself - you take his internal monologue at face value, while I think there is ample evidence that Light manipulates himself most of all. (As made completely manifest in the Yotsuba-Arc where he literally mindwipes himself into an incredibly emotionally and physically painful experience just to use himself as a pawn.)

[beepboprobotsnot]

A little under a year ago, I stumbled across the anime "Frieren: Beyond Journey's End" and it very quickly became a contender for my favorite anime of all time. It is beautiful, and cozy, and packed with meaning in every episode, and I love it. So, since the depth of Frieren's story could use some more attention, I've decided to do a little something that I'm going to call "Frieren-bruary." Every day for the month of February, I'm going to talk about one episode of Frieren, of which there are exactly twenty-eight, so it works out quite well. So, without further ado:

Episode Seven: Like a Fairy Tale

So. We've reached the demon episode. While I do believe that there is value in featuring "pure-evil" villains, I recognize that the "pure-evil race" trope is an absolute minefield, with countless potential problems to run into. So, before starting, let's acknowledge those potential pitfalls. The demons represent Evil, perhaps even Evil People, but not any sort of real-world group. Not ever.

With that neon-sign disclaimer out of the way, we can get into the actual episode. This episode gets us into the Aura arc, and the first lesson of that arc seems to be that "Talking to demons is pointless," and everyone is safer off killing them on sight. This is seen through the flashback, where Himmel's mercy toward a demon child, and the mayor's compassion, leads to that same mayor's death, and also in the present, where Graf Granat's attempts to make peace put his town at risk, have already cost the life of one of his guards, and will cost many more.

Even taking demons to be the worst of the worst, this, as a message, is... rough. It's harsh, and jaded, and cynical, and overall at odds with the overall hopeful ethos of the rest of the show. To have Stark's hope for peace instantly shot down, to have Graf Granat's empathy described as a "flaw," to be told to harden our hearts to the demons completely, it's difficult. And it leaves the question of how in the world we could apply this message. Once people do something bad, are we supposed to just label them "Bad People" and never give them a second chance?

Fortunately, there are two details that I believe make this message less harsh than it at first seems. Firstly, it isn't saying to write people off completely, but simply to practice discernment: to recognize that talk is cheap, and to consider people's intentions above their words. Frieren's arguments for why the demons cannot be trusted have very little to do with her experience. She doesn't say anything like "I've dealt with demons before, I know they can't be trusted," she instead explains that "demons are beasts who seek to devour." The "pure-evil" nature of demons makes their ill intentions easy to recognize, sure, but at the end of the day, Frieren's distrust stems not from their past actions, but their unchanged intentions. The question no-one in this episode seems to be asking is: What would a peace with demons even look like? What terms and consessions could possibly appease them? As Lugner puts it, "Perhaps, [Frieren] is just logical. There's only one reason predators who prey on humans would speak the human language." She isn't just bloodthirsty like he earlier accused him of being, she simply recognizes that their words do not line up with their intentions, and so they must be lying. So the message is less that "Bad People" must never be given a second chance, and more that we need to be careful, and to not let fancy rhetoric and appeals to our ideals distract us from the intentions of those who wish to do harm.

For the second point, I'm going to have to break my rules and talk about a few other episodes as well. As much as the fandom likes to joke about Frieren going full Doom Slayer on the demons, her preparing to attack Lugner is the only time we see go "shoot first, ask questions later". As much as she hates demons, she doesn't try to resist once her attack on Lugner is interrupted, nor does she insist on killing the demon girl in the flashback. She warns those around her that they are making a mistake, but it's a mistake that she allows them to make. And for someone who says that "Talking to demons is pointless," she sure does a lot of talking to demons. She offers Qual a painless death if doesn't resist, despite surely knowing he will refuse, and will even test Aura during their coming confrontation, trying to find some sort of redeeming quality in her. What sets these instances apart from Lugner is that, when she tries to reason with the demons, she is either alone, or only accompanied by Fern, who she trusts to take of herself. Lugner, on the other hand, is surrounded by vulnerable innocents who are going to be at risk as long as he walks among them. For all her talk, and her warnings, Frieren hasn't fully given up on finding some good in the demons, but she isn't willing to risk the lives of others for such a vain hope.

(Also, while "well-dressed gentleman who happens to have horns" fits Lugner's role as lying diplomat, I'm disappointed that it became the default for demons going forward, because it's kinda boring. But it's also really funny that 90% of demons just being people with horns means that Qual doesn't look like that because he's a demon, and he is in fact just a freak.)

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[year2000electronics]

For all three games, if you could trade any of the dead students for any of the survivors, who would you pick?

dr1

ok ok for dr1 my go-to choice is usually taka for anyone bc im rabid and desperate and i miss him. and that usually means sacrificing hiro just because i cant see it going any other way. BUT. im gonna mix it up a little and give an answer i can also see working. i would swap out byakuya for celeste.

i know byakuya is THEEEE antagonist character, and him learning how to cooperate with the rest and seek out the truth is very important, but in equal measure, celeste was someone who, although she wasnt as much of a hard-to-work-with nuisance as byakuya was, she is also someone who refused to play nice. just in a less overt way. she was biding her time and lying to the others about how she's just soooo resigned and happy to adapt. and keeping everyone at arm's length. and let's say byakuya dies in chapter 3 where she was supposed to. maybe he even gets a kill in before she can even TRY. with byakuya gone, maybe he even says he didn't kill "for the money". so there goes her escape plan. and the next 3 chapters would be all about how her calm "Celestia ludenberg" facade is completely fallen apart and how taeko yasuhiro HAS to put aside this facade and actually MAKE CONNECTIONS if she wants to get out of here, which she VERY BADLY does. i think it would have an interesting effect on toko, too, as her one lifeline (byakuya) would be gone and she'd be left with no connections. maybe they'd turn to each other for company in a desperate bid for companionship. maybe they both could undo these abrasive personas they have for themselves. IDK. I THINK IT COULD BE REALLY COOL!

sdr2

sdr2 is harder for me, admittedly. every time i try to move a domino i'm like "but no, that wouldn't make sense"... gundham is a really big fan favourite i know that but his chuuni archetype is something he doesnt really need to "grow out of" or "develop from", and i think his sacrifice in ch 4 does a lot of good for his character, showing how he has vast emotional maturity when it comes down to it.

i also constantly hesitate about making hiyoko a survivor, because i think her potential is beyond wasted, but, like... fuyuhiko treads a LOT of similar ground. his growth is very flashy, and as a literal yakuza, his growth towards the group is way more shocking, i guess? if that makes sense. especially w him being injured from peko's execution. it's much more of a spectacle that people were bound to gravitate towards anyways. if i made hiyoko a survivor, it would either have to be tit-for-tat that i get rid of fuyuhiko in her stead, or make the worlds most complicated juggling act where both are roaming around having similar character arcs at the same time. you could prolly make a case of fuyuhiko having easy access for mikan because of his injury. boom ch 3.

my true dream pick, though, is nekomaru, because a lot like taka, despite him not dying off til chapter 4, his Special Events kinda render him a lot less able to make emotional moves in the story. (taka's depression and then ishida has him hitting a wall, nekomaru vanishes for a chapter and then he's back as goofy ol' mechamaru) they do try to retroactively steer this in a better direction by saying nekomaru did agree to gundham's duel posthumously, but also, like, his screentime was kinda eaten up for two chapters, and im just. imagine a character like nekomaru, a Coach, who likes to lift others up to much. he speaks so fondly of his clients in his FTEs. imagine him making it to the end, hearing the final remnants of despair twist. hearing hajime and the others agonizing over two IMPOSSIBLE choices. how do you coach them through that? can you even call yourself a coach when you did something so terrible? IDK. I THINK IT WOULD BE NEAT.

as for who i'd axe instead. honestly either kaz or sonia. one of them needs to die so i can stop hearing kaz talk about her. i dislike kazuichi slightly more but i feel like sonia would make a better "partner" for gundham's murder motive. although kazuichi would be easier to corner and duel. idk. could go either way

drv3

RYOMA HOSHI THERE IS NO OTHER ANSWER. i dont care how much you want to see rantaro. i dont care how much missed potential kaede had. i dont care if gonta is just so cute. it is an actual literal travesty that ryoma hoshi's character arc is "ryoma believes it's too late for him, and that he has nothing to live for, and would be better off dead, and the motive basically confirms that, and kirumi takes him out of his misery the end go home". that SUCKS. especially considering his FTEs end on him saying he DOES have something to live for! which is now INSANE if you finished his FTEs by chance!! and i know why they decided to kill him off so early and with no noise! it's because they keep introducing these "cartoonish" characters and not treating them like real characters! for someone like hifumi, i understand if he's not YOUR cup of tea, even if i see some good in him. i SUPER understand not liking teruteru because his flaws are even worse. but RYOMA?? man he isnt even The Funny Fat Guy that these games love to do nothing with. he just happens to be small. that's all he is. small. and i guess that's enough to not care about if his impact on the game was even meaningful and to slap him down so a maid can go be the Japanese Prime Minister. no. its fine. really its fine.

im gonna cheat a little and say i'd have ryoma replace keebo. i know keebo doesnt survive by the end. i know that. but youll have to give me some leverage here, since there's only THREE survivors and no way in hell am i killing himiko. i kinda dont really like keebo and i dont think he brings that much to the fray so lemme have this

[fandomwe1rd0]

RICK REDEMPTION ARC IS ACTUALLY SO GOOD GUYS LIKE OH MY GOD

Now just to make myself clear, by "redemption" I mean him being a better person, don't get me wrong he's still an abusive, toxic, manipulative, asshole but he's trying you guyssssssss. Like he started going to therapy when he says he doesn't respect therapy in season 3 you guyssssssssss. He's spoiling Morty you guyssssssssssssss. He's treating Morty like an actual human being you guysssssssssss.

Ok onto the actual post- His redemption arc is actually so good omfg- Now to be fair, he's still in the process, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little optimistic about where it's headed, I mean so far it's going really well, he started changing after season 4, which makes sense considering in the finale he said "Holy shit I'm a terrible father." and sat alone in the garage, which is what he deserves but I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry at that scene even though it's exactly what he deserves considering what an asshole he's been in that season. Now after this realization, seeing what a terrible father he truly was, he started changing, for most of season 5 he was still mostly the same ol' Rick. He was still an asshole, was still insulting Morty, y'know much of the same, he wasn't as bad as he was in season 4, but he wasn't exactly good, then then we get to the finale, he actually feels guilt for coming back to Morty after the crows left him, when Morty asked, he couldn't even give Morty a straight answer, he just looked to the ground and sighed. He couldn't even look Morty in the eye. Season 4 Rick would probably just say yes and brush it off with some sarcastic comment, but season 5 Rick couldn't even bring himself to do that.

In season 6 we can see that he stopped his hunt for Rick Prime, even if it was just temporary because Morty sees him as his grandfather and not Rick Prime, you can tell that meant a lot to Rick since his angry expression melted away as soon as Morty said that. (Also yes, this scene makes me cry shut up)

He's also a lot gentler to Morty here, is he perfect? No but a lot of his actions seem more like him being a goofy grandpa then him actually being mean, he gets closer to Jerry, lays off of Morty a bit, and actually puts in effort to spend time with the kid, and he actually goes to therapy on his own accord, sure he didn't want to call it therapy at the beginning but he still kept going even after Dr. Wong said it was therapy and is now going every week, I mean could you imagine season 3 or season 4 Rick going to therapy? Actually scheduling his appointments and paying for therapy? Need I remind you that this is the man who turned himself into a pickle so he doesn't have to go to family therapy? Who pretending he was disintegrating so he wouldn't have to go? Who literally programmed his garage to have a "family therapy mode"? Who programmed the therapist's office with voice activated commands in case he needed to leave? This man, the same man, is going to therapy.

At the end of the season when Morty called him "boring" he regressed and continued his self-destructive hunt for Rick Prime again. Now I may have poked fun at him for this in some of my other posts, but it was more than that, that was the moment where he thought Morty just stopped caring about him. He thought the most important person to him, the only thing holding him back from a mental breakdown *cough* codependency *cough* didn't care about him at all. When we know that's not true, sure Morty lashed out, but he earned the right to after everything Rick put him through. So he left and built a perfect copy of him to take his place. He could've programmed it to be just as mean as him, or even more mean than him. But he literally programmed it to be a good grandpa to, love, and make Morty happy. That was it. He did this for someone who he thought didn't care about, someone he though, in his own words, had become "dogshit" to. Yet he still put in the time and effort to make a robot designed to make Morty happy, when it would've just been easier to just make the robot the same as him. And here's the kicker, when Rickbot reveals it, sure Rick is frustrated and sends Rickbot an angry glare, but he doesn't deny it. Could you imagine season 1-5 Rick doing this? I couldn't. Also in this scene, he manhandles Morty significantly less, I honestly think this may have been the season where he stopped manhandling Morty, correct me if I'm wrong.

Now in season 7, in all the episodes he never treat Morty all too bad. Let's analyze how he treats Morty in each episode shall we?

Episode 1 ~ How Poopy got his poop back

They don't really interact in this episode, Rick just gave Morty a sarcastic response when Morty said "Hey buddy, got you a coffee" and when Morty asked "Have you found him (Rick Prime) yet?" which while it isn't nice, it's better than how he treated Morty in season 4, since he never insults Morty directly.

Episode 2 ~ The Jerrick Trap

Another episode where they don't interact a lot, and when they do it's not really Rick it's like half Jerry half Rick. Buttttt he does have a new "Touch my grandson and die policy" and it's confirmed in that episode that both Rick and Jerry love their family, even if they are horrible at showing it. He does snap at Morty for literally no reason at the end, but still. Comparing it to say, Mortynight Run, the second episode of season 2 where he constantly insults Morty, it shows progress.

Episode 3 ~ Air Force Wong

Again, they don't really interact a lot, man they really ignored Morty in season 7, but he does stand up for Morty when the president insults him, when the president said "Tell Morty to shut up!" Morty says "Tell him he can't talk to me like that!" And season 1-4 Rick would probably just ignore Morty, he actually listens and tells the president "You can't talk to Morty like that." This episode also reveals that he's still going to therapy every week, which is a huge thing!

Episode 4 ~ That's Amorte

He's pretty rude to Morty in this episode, even straight up telling him "The only reason why you're still alive right now, is because you don't turn delicious when you die." Which we all know is a lie, but that doesn't make it better. But I'm pretty sure this was supposed to mirror Mortynight run, which is why I at least found Rick to be pretty out of character in this episode, but he's still physically gentle with Morty, with putting his hand on Morty's back instead of manhandling him like how he would in earlier seasons, and even if it's wrong that he was feeding the family people, he didn't do it out of malicious intent like how most would expect, he just genuinely thought it was good and wanted the family to try it, does that make it right? No, but still. He also (Like everyone else) lost the taste for it when he saw exactly what they were eating.

Episode 5 ~ Unmortricken

Honestly besides his sarcastic comment at the beginning of the episode "Thanks buddy, means a lot that your bar for mental health has gotten lower than mine." and "You should count chickens professionally, Morty." He's pretty sweet to Morty, he was worried for Morty and didn't move until he made sure Morty was ok when they were all in the box, and when he finished making the portal, he made sure Morty got in by pulling him in by his shirt to be sure that Morty was safe, these are all very small details but they say a lot, he also doesn't let Morty come with him because he was worried about him and wanted to keep him away from a very dangerous adventures, which considering that he took Morty on a traumatizing adventure in "Rest and Ricklaxation" It's nice to see that he's actually starting to worry about taking him on dangerous adventures and wants to keep him out of them, this was confirmed when Evil Morty replied "I'm not worried about him, I'm evil!" when Rick angrily said "You brought Morty with you!?" and he even lets Morty hug him without pushing him away

which is a step up from him softly pushing Morty away when Morty attempted to hug him in "Solaricks"

We can also see that he fakes a smile in the end, which is, again leagues above what he would've done in seasons 1-4

Episode 6 ~ Rickfending your Mort

Ahhhh he's so sweet to Morty in this episodeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. We see in this episode that his inner grandpa comes out with Morty and that he spoils Morty, he gives Morty basically whatever he asks for with no resistance or complaining. They do argue, but Rick really mellowed down and didn't insult Morty like at all during the argument, really the only insulting things he did was when he called Morty a little gremlin and accused Morty of lying about the punch cards. Even when Morty fessed up, he didn't rub his nose in it or brag about it like usual. He just said one thing "Hah! Can we playback that confession?" but that was it, and he still accepted the punch cards anyway and is extremely excited when him and Morty are going on adventures again, and smiles when he sees Morty excited about another gun, don't give guns to kids. But when Rick does it, it's his way of spoiling Morty, he just doesn't really know how, but he's tryinggggggggg. He also genuinely thanks Morty for keeping him on track with the punch cards instead of giving some back-handed thank you like how he did in season 1 episode 10. which is nice to see. He also is genuinely bonding with Morty with the pet cemetery scene.

Episode 7 ~ Wet Kaut Summer

Another one without many Rick and Morty interactions...man Morty gets pushed away a lot, butttt we do see more of him spoiling Morty, which is always welcome, and he does try to get Morty back which is sweet, I also thought him bragging to Summer about how he saves Morty a lot was kinda cute in a pathetic way "I save Morty 8 times per season!" We also see him be nice to Summer and open up to her about Diane "I treat you like an equal because I respect you! You remind me of your grandmother."

Episode 8 ~ Rise of the Numericons the Movie

Eh this one was just a weird fever dream, Rick wasn't in this episode like...at all. He wasn't even mentioned once.

Episode 9 ~ 90s fad toys

Rick is just really sweet to Morty here, when Morty messed up by releasing Bigfoot, he seems more worried about how him and Morty will get home rather than mad, and listens to Morty explain without interrupting, unlike other seasons the only mean thing he says was "I could probably teach these idiots how to hit a red button!" which is really pretty mild considering some of the other stuff he said during his arguments with Morty in seasons 1-4 including but not limited to: "You're a piece of shit Morty!" "I'll let you know when I have a point, and the world will know when I try to hurt you!" "Morty, you little lying world-ending pervert!" "I'm really glad you insisted on getting that Fart home, at least all the death and destruction wasn't for nothing y'know?" "I'm going to take a biggg fat Morty, that's my new word for shit due to today's events." "Okay Morty, you big party-pooper buzzkill! Boo!" and is pretty sweet to Morty during his fight with Bigfoot, even encouraging Morty not to help him due to a fear of Morty getting hurt, even when he was getting brutally beaten "Don't worry Morty, I got this under control" and he even cried in front of Morty instead of pretending like he has no emotions, which is a lot more significant when you consider that Morty was the only person (In the smith family at the very least) to see Rick cry

Episode 10 ~ Fear No Mort

Rick isn't in this episode for the majority of it, since this is a Morty centric episode! Finally! Buttt we do see that he brought Morty to a carnival just to spend time with and see a haunted house with Morty, that was literally it.

He also eats with Morty at Dennys (Well was about to before they hear about the fear hole) and really only said two mean things to Morty "You little turd!" when Morty actively didn't listen to Rick, which is a step up from season 6 considering he didn't just ditch Morty and replace himself with a robot. "I mean...define 'irreplaceable'" when Morty asked if he was irreplaceable. But he did sounds genuinely happy and excitied when Morty was back, happily calling out his name as soon as he moved, and he doesn't immediately backtrack on sounding happy or smiling which is a step up from season 1 episode 9 Something Ricked this Way Comes where he was happy, but immediately backpedaled and tried his best to sound like an annoyed grandpa. and he did attempt to awkwardly hug Morty back after Morty hugged him, it was half assed but he still tried. He didn't even seem mad when Morty pushed away, he looked more worried that he messed up more than anything. Also yes, this does still bring me pain.

AND WE LITERALLY SEE THAT HE NOT ONLY LISTENS TO MORTY'S ADVICE BUT ALSO HAS A PICTURE OF MORTY IN HIS WALLET AND LOOKED SO PROUD OF HIM! HE ALSO CHOOSES MORTY OVER A FAKE VERSION OF DIANE

Uh so yeah Rick's redemption arc is amazing, and no I do not regret that I spent an embarrassing amount of time gushing over an abusive old man's redemption arc.

[softest-epilogue]

doing an entire Eddie Diaz analysis because I keep seeing so much about the most recent episode/recent interviews about the episode, and what this means for his character, and it’s all annoying me. sooo here we go. spoilers for up to 911’s 7x07

with the cheating arc that’s on our doorstep, there’s so much I want to say. Ryan’s now mentioned it in the articles that came out post-episode how Eddie’s had this idealized version of his relationship with Shannon in his head & has been searching for that ever since she died. he fully calls it a delusion, which it is. everything he went though with Shannon was so intense. they were so young, it was mixed in with having Christopher & the trauma from Afghanistan, as well as him running away & then Shannon running away — it was a lot, a whirlwind. they got married on a technicality, because he felt like he should, like he had to with her getting pregnant. and because Eddie has historically put Christopher above everything else, wanting his mother to be in the picture, wanting to be that all-american nuclear family has been drilled into his head, so even despite her asking for a divorce right before dying, he still had this vision of what they should have been in his head. he’s been fully stunted since she died relationship wise. he’s trying to find what he thought he had with Shannon (& he feels he was supposed to have had). so we had Ana — who he both jumped into head first by introducing her to Chris as his girlfriend so soon, while simultaneously feeling so wrong about the idea of committing to her to the point of panic attacks. it felt wrong, he knew that, but he was trying to fit it into a certain box that just wasn’t happening. and then with Marisol, it’s honestly so not well thought out with the writers that it’s ridiculous at this point but we see him doing exactly the same thing — jumping into something (presumably) very quickly, having her move in when on screen we’ve barely seen or heard anything of her, haven’t seen Christopher with her, etc, while then also having the full freak out when she moves in & he finds out about the nun thing (cue catholic guilt/repression being actually said by Eddie despite it clearly being an overarching theme since the beginning with him). we know he’s stuck. he’s so stuck on this fantastical idea of him & Shannon in his head that it makes absolute sense that when he sees a doppelgänger of her, of course he’s going to do stupid shit. he doesn’t think relationships through deeply — yes, he overthinks so much to the point of panic, but he never actually does any introspection into it because he’s still so stuck on this idea of Shannon in his head since she died. I get people hate cheaters but like 1. it’s fiction and 2. it absolutely makes complete sense in this moment. he’s spiraling, has been spiraling for a long time. this is going to break apart in a very intense way for him (look at what Ryan said about how Eddie has always had someone to run to, but how he might not have that in season 8). however it happens — whether he accidentally calls her Shannon, or Buck sees them together and obviously calls Eddie out on his shit (both for lying to him & Chris, and also ya know, all of it) or some other big thing that happens that completely obliterates both what he has with Marisol & what he’s trying to do with Kim — it’s going to unravel. Ryan also said that season 8 is going to be almost like a “refresh button” for Eddie & an opportunity for him to finally let go of his past so that a new future can enter. we have to see this through. he has to unravel & spiral in a way that leads to real consequences for it to fully sink in for him. like I 100% think Chris is going to be involved in this, as well as Buck, but definitely Chris. he needs to disappoint Chris so much to the point where he’s smacked in the face with the reality of what he’s doing & has been trying to do for years in terms of relationships/finding a partner/finding a substitute mother for Chris. he needs to hit bottom before he can come back up stronger & better. people are focusing a lot on buddie in regards to everything with Kim & Marisol, and I do love them with my whole heart, but now isn’t the time. we need to see Eddie break down first. be by himself, realize he’s enough as a father, see what he really wants.

[wesleysniperking]

Usopp and Conqueror’s Haki | part 2 (TL;DR)

previously;continuing on...

Sad backstory

Usopp’s mother died when he was very young. His dad left him and his mother prior, leaving Usopp alone to fend for himself. That’s how he developed his knack for lying.

The ability and gift to lead others

Despite how small, Usopp did create his own pirate crew and lead three little boys who wholeheartedly admired and respected Usopp. But let’s not forget to mention Enies Lobby and Dressrosa. Kashii and Oimo followed Usopp after he told them their former superiors were free, alive, and still kicking. The Tontatta kingdom were more than willing to follow him when planning their attack on Trebol and Sugar. Which lead to his ‘God Usopp’ moment.

Out of everyone in the crew besides one or two (Luffy and maybe Zoro), people have at many points in the story wanted to follow Usopp and be led by him. No matter the situation and pretense.

Take that as you will and must.

People gravitate to them naturally and want to follow them (Charisma)

Same as above. But to be more precise in this instance, Usopp is a great storyteller and through this skill alone, he really does attract others. Heck, he got the Romance Dawn trio involved in saving Syrup Village when they necessarily didn’t have a reason to.

And there are the giants. They always gravitate towards Usopp, and converse with him. He always keeps them going.

Had a moment where they hit rock bottom

Water 7, baby. That was probably one of the worst moments in his life. Like, he deserved a hug during that period. Usopp was isolated, reeling, and filled with so much grief. He was walking around in bandages (from being jumped and punched right in the gut), he and his best friend weren’t talking, and he was under the impression that he was inadequate. It was a true “Young, Dumb, and Broke” moment for him.

Kingly ambition

This is probably one of the most disputed things when it comes to Usopp and Conqueror’s Haki speculation. But it’s easy to squash the doubt when you realize that Usopp does indeed have that “kingly ambition” baby.

First of all, when Usopp read about Ace’s death in the newspaper and started crying over the fact that he couldn’t be there for Luffy, bro promised himself (and Luffy, in spirit) that he’d become the king of shooters for his captain. That’s what he said. Heck some argue that the Sniper King alter ego supports this bit as well.

Secondly, Usopp does have something he needs to “conquer”. And what that is, is his fear. His natural cowardice continuously puts him at odds with his dream to become a brave warrior of the sea, yet his low confidence and anxiety work against it.

Knock people out to the point where form is coming out their mouth (seen in the manga)

Perona and Sugar. He left both women passed out with foam coming out of their mouths.

He knocked both girls out.

Courage

Despite Usopp’s ongoing bouts with cowardice and pushing for bravery. He’s shown it in spurts, bravery that is. But you know what? I sound like a hypocrite. I truly do. Because what is courage? Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. And he continues to do this, gag or not (in terms of the corwardice).

It took courage to want to defend Syrup Village and declare to do so despite having to do it alone.

It took courage staying to fight when facing off Chew in the Arlong Park arc, and Miss Merry Christmas and Mr 4 in Alabasta.

It took courage to fight Luffy and be willing to go at it alone when leaving the crew (not expecting anyone to follow him), it took courage to put on a mask and fight alongside friends you left after a nasty dispute, it took courage apologizing to the crew (when there was also some reasons not to) and asking to re-join, it took courage to fight ghosts, it took courage having to rely on faith and determination alone when making a snipe shot with very little to go on.

Empathy

Usopp showcases this well given where he’s come from and how he helps others. If there’s one thing people really don’t highlight about Usopp, and do actively look over, is the fact that he lies to make people feel better and find hope. He never does it to cause bodily harm to anyone. Usopp is a very misunderstood individual but naturally possesses the ability to encourage people in his own way. Like when Luffy was down and out when Lucci had him in the first half and he encouraged Luffy to get up and fight, or making Nami the climatact because she felt inadequate when fighting alongside the crew, or when he gave the giants (Oimo and Kashii) the push and courage to stop working for the World Government, or when he took care of the Going Merry, or when he told Robin to trust in Luffy, or when he helped the little girl perfect (or was it make?) that firecracker that her late parents failed to finish, or when he indirectly gave Chopper the courage to keep going when fighting Miss Merry Christmas and Mr. 4, or when he always ran around the village and woke the villagers up by running around early in the morning shouting the PIRATES ARE COMING! to make their lives worthwhile…you see where I’m going with all of this?

Note: Usopp tells his stories to make people feel better.

As a sniper he offers that backup, that backing and support during battle to make sure the crew is safe (like with Robin on the Tower of Justice, or in Stampede when Luffy is fighting the Big Bad)…and how he fought Perona? How could he have fought her without being in tune with his emotions and self-perception?

Then how devastated he was when he found out Ace died and could understand how affected Luffy was by that, declaring he’d become The King of Shooters for him.

continue here

[oyasuminto]

wait you played mouthwashing?? what did you think of it

I'm gonna just copy/paste some of my rambles below. Warning: I love to yap. Also massive spoilers.

Also this is very disorganized.

Because of Jimmy, everyone is under the impression that Curly is an insane asshole who purposely collided with an asteroid in an unexpected murder-suicide attempt. Curly is still conscious and aware of what's going on. He can hear whatever the crew are saying about him, he has to spend several months paralyzed, being forcefed pills by people who despise him.

The crew still know that Jimmy is an asshole. Daisuke is the only one who hasn't realized it yet because he's so new. Curly could've been seen as a tragic hero, but Jimmy was so desperate to play the hero that he thought he could force people to look past everything he's already done.

Jimmy is a violent egomaniac, impulsive, cruel, demeaning, irresponsible, and, most importantly, delusional as all hell.

The closest he comes to admitting his wrongs is in the scene with Polle where he admits he fucked up and apologizes to Curly for what he's done, but doesn't even think about the months of torment he put everyone else through

He is dangerously obsessed with Curly. He needs Curly to survive because he has imagined some kind of redemption arc for himself with Curly in the middle.

Much like Anya, he is incapable of treating Curly like an autonomous person, but unlike Anya he pretends to see him as an equal.

The men all appear at least once in Jimmy's hallucinations; Curly constantly appears, Jimmy is entirely fixated on him. Daisuke makes appearances after his death. Swansea acts as a constantly pursuing enemy in them.

Anya… really the most we get is group delusions like the party, aside from that it's just body/pregnancy horror, because that's all Jimmy cares about. All Anya is to him is another cheering subordinate, if she's not that then her pregnancy is a terrifying reality looming over his head.

But she is not allowed to be her own independent person.

ALSO!!! while Anya is clearly the main target of Jimmy's abuse and control, he doesn't seem to care about the boundaries of any of the crewmates. Curly is just a puppet he can project his rage, fear, and guilt onto. Daisuke is put into horrifically dangerous situations. Swansea is drugged, and it leads to Daisuke's death because Jimmy used up the last of the isopropyl alcohol.

even during the drugging, Daisuke is terrified that Swansea is dead. Jimmy just shrugs and says that Swansea has a high alcohol tolerance.

Meanwhile Jimmy has already shown he'll just take what he wants. He might tell himself that he cares about Curly, that he's giving Curly a chance, that he's somehow redeeming himself. But he isn't. He's just continuing that same pattern of selfishness that left Curly so grievously injured in the first place.

Jimmy has deluded himself into thinking he's somehow breaking the cycle he started, when he's only making things worse and worse because he can't fucking own up to anything he's done. It's never his fault, not fully. He always finds a way to redirect blame from himself.

it's actually a pretty realistic depiction of an entitled abusive man. He doesn't actually feel bad about anything he's done. He just fears facing the consequences of his actions. If Anya hadn't gotten pregnant and never told anyone what happened, Jimmy would've continued on without a care. Maybe he could've controlled the narrative and told people that she's lying, or that it was consensual. He could've walked out of her life and left her to pick up the pieces.

But a baby is tangible proof of what he did to her. It ties the two of them together, forever. Pony Express doesn't have the budget nor the foresight to stock abortion pills on their ships, and this trip has 8 months left. He would have to take responsibility, one way or another.

Everything hits so much harder when you're hit with the realization that the character you've spent most of the game playing as is a monster

You spend a good amount of time certain that Curly is at fault for all of this. He crashed the ship on purpose, he got himself burned up. He's the reason you're all slowly dying, so when Jimmy is angry at him you feel inclined to agree and sympathize with him. It must be so difficult being shoved into a leadership position while also being stuck in an awful unwinnable position.

He's rude to Curly and Anya, but he's stressed, he's scared, their deaths are basically inevitable. Curly crashed the ship, right? He deserves it. Jimmy basically tells you that Anya is kind of incompetent, she can't even give a patient painkillers! Of course he's growing impatient.

You become like Curly, excusing and brushing off Jimmy's behavior until it's too late.

Jimmy is a deeply pathetic and cowardly person. He thinks that he can save himself by "saving" Curly. He promises that he'll fix things right before murdering Swansea. Even his "selfless" acts are entirely selfish. In the end, all he cares about is soothing his own ego. He tells Curly that they'll both be heroes. He still things he could be a good person. Killing himself was just one more way he escaped responsibility.

He is someone with an awful victim complex. Nothing is ever his fault, and he is always capable of redemption. Any push-back he gets just gives him more ammo to claim victimhood.

Through Jimmy's eyes, it's everyone else who's at fault. Anya is whiny and annoying and useless at her job (she's a deeply traumatized woman who is terrified of Jimmy), Daisuke is a spoiled nepobaby who can't do shit (he's a young adult who wants to please his parents and doesn't always think before he speaks or acts), Swansea is just some drunken asshole (he's a grouch but he's probably sick of Jimmy's shit and just wants to go home to his wife and dog), and Curly is an arrogant ladder-climbing bastard who doesn't care about his crew (he's a closed-off man who takes on more than he can handle and gives Jimmy too much credit).

He needs to maintain that illusion to continue justifying his actions. It's okay that he berates Anya, she's incompetent. It's okay that he gets aggressive with Swansea, he's awful. It's okay that he looks down on and manipulates Daisuke, he's spoiled. It's okay that he beats an incapacitated and barely alive Curly, it's his fault they're in this situation.

[nalyra-dreaming]

I apologize in advance because this is about the unreliable narrative topic, but I did have a question/thought and I hadn't really seen it quite discussed in this way, but it is very possible that I missed it.

At this point, we have multiple confirmations that Louis is unreliable, that S1 will be viewed differently after S2, and that at its core Louis' memory is the way it is right now to try and protect him in some way. These are just facts. The only real speculation left is what he is unreliable about. So, if it isn't about whether Lestat deserved the events of ep 7, what could his unreliable memories actually be about? Even trying to play devil's advocate to be fully prepared for S2, I can't really think of anything that would logically fit.

There is a big difference between Louis being a little biased in his own favor or not having Lestat's perspective (and there are many examples of this sort of "unreliableness" from Louis in S1) and Louis' memories being wrong to the point that he knows they are wrong and he is seeking help to discover the truth. That being a major plot point has to be something big in the narrative. It can't just be if it was raining.

The biggest issue to me really does come down to if Lestat deserved what happened to him. If the S1 narrative remains exactly the same then I do think he deserved it and whatever other suffering he has to go through on his way to the redemption arc they would have planned for him. However, if that core remains the same, what horrible truth does Louis need to be protected from then? We know ep 5 and 7 have specifically been named for the revisits. I guess Louis might need to be protected from the truth that he didn't kill Lestat himself, but then why the need to revisit ep 5 at all? I have seen the idea that Louis is actually in denial about just how abusive Lestat was, but that doesn't make logical sense to me for a variety of reasons both already in the text (like the changes from the first interview) and the way they are currently promoting the show. Would Louis just need to be protected from the truth of not doing everything he could to stop Lestat and protect Claudia, as in he didn't really help directly in ep 7 and he feels guilty about it? Again, that doesn't change how viewers see S1 overall; it would just change the ending, and it doesn't make sense with a lot of other elements. It also doesn't really fit Jacob Anderson's recent discussion of the books and show either.

This all comes with the disclaimer that I don't believe Lestat will be retconned into the perfect husband or theirs a perfect marriage or that the actual mutual fight in ep 5 didn't happen at all. It is really the difference between what events deserve or even require Lestat's murder and what events mean that Louis and Lestat really needed vampire marriage counseling for lack of a better way to put it.

To return to my main question, what could Louis be unreliable about to the extent he needs protection from the truth if it isn't about why Lestat "died" and by extension Claudia and her true nature. I want to be prepared, but I can't really think of anything else that fits all of the evidence and fits with the books and what has been said about the books by those making the show.

I hope my thoughts make sense. I just really wanted to discuss this, and your analysis is always so thoughtful to me.

Hey! (sorry this took a moment)

Okay, so first off - Louis being unreliable is a mixture of a few things.

First, there's memory. It's a "monster", and that is what the raining falls under, imho. Little details. Dates, too. All the dates are off on the show, the speech on the radio given twice, etc. Details. Even vampires do not have perfect memories.

Secondly, there's the things Louis is (maybe still) bitter about. Jacob called that Louis being a "bitter ex who presents their former partner as a monster", so that is still a factor as well. (This is the only part where actual "lying" may come into play, but all in all it's not that huge of a factor in this second interview, imho).

Thirdly there are parts Louis is (still) doing intentionally - like protecting Claudia's image. Painting her in a more favorable light, because he loves her. (Rather understandable!)

And lastly - there is the fact that his memory has been "tinkered" with (I'm not going to pull up all the quotes here, I think you know them by now^^, let me know if you need them.) THAT is the part Jacob referred to at the panel, with Louis trying to regain his true memories.

Now, given what we know already will be in s2, and given the further seasons and their content I also doubt that whatever retcon they'll do in ep5 will be to make Lestat worse.

Like, how could it be worse. Seriously. And where and how would you go to what's to come from there.

It would also contradict Rolin Jones' various statements, which I am also not going to pull up again here^^.

But no, Lestat will not be retconned into a perfect husband and father, lol. He made mistakes, and probably lots of them. There are reasons why Louis is a bitter ex.

So.

To (try to) answer your question:

I have talked about ep5, at length, let me know if you need the various posts and source, but in real quick, I think that part will be revisited to show that while the fight happened (and it did show this utter power discrepancy) it stopped upstairs. When Claudia looks into the mirror. That is a deliberate shot, with meaning. The drop will likely be something Armand planted, because it is eerily close to something he does to Lestat - and Lestat later does to him. The dragging outside... IF it happened then a hint in ep6 will play into it. Though if they reveal that already?! I'm not sure. But the discussion there with Claudia, and Lestat's words can easily also have been part of the actual fight. Or when it stopped.

Episode 5 and the aftermath serve to "prove" that Louis and Claudia needed to kill Lestat. And that is the crux of the matter, right there. Because while Lestat says in his own novel that he never blamed Claudia, and might have done something like that himself... (and I am aware that a lot of people see this as proof for what the show showed there) - in the book context he refers to damning her to darkness in such a small body, and making her so utterly reliant on them. Because he is aware of what he did to her through that fact alone.

Which brings us to episode 7 and the "kill". I think it will be Claudia who wielded the knife, and Louis standing by, as in the book. There were some bts photos of that shoot, with the twins, and Sam and Claudia, and somewhere there is a statement that Jacob had already left. It makes sense that they would have filmed that already.

Louis... is trying to protect Claudia (as he should). And Armand... is trying to protect Louis (by now), and influencing as he sees fit. Not everything, no, but of course his own experiences with Lestat (and we will get to see some of those in s2) have left their own marks.

Armand literally thought Louis would snap out of his grief over Claudia’s death. He says he protects Louis from himself.

I think the tinkering is an attempt to try and free Louis of that grief. And his longing. Parts selfishly to keep Louis ro himself, parts in a desperate attempt to help Louis.

Armand cut the pages of the diary, imho. The ripped out ones may yet come into play for the trial. And, given the Merrick revelations of those pages… those pages might very well be what will bring in the retcons. Because Claudia’s diary in Merrick brought huge revelations.

I concur with you there that the things Louis needs protection from are likely things that pertain to Lestat and Claudia.

The shifts will reveal imho that Louis did not want to kill Lestat (we already know that, imho), and that not everything was as dire as told. And that Claudia was not as pure as Louis wants to remember her as. Which is in line with the books.

Anything else will be details.

Armand in Dubai is trying to keep Louis from suicide. Because Louis knows that things are not adding up, he’s not stupid. And Armand (rightfully) fears the (repeated) impact of the truth. A truth he is not exactly uninvolved in either.

So to close this - actually it boils down to what you already said^^. There will be details maybe. But the main parts will be the already mentioned parts. The rest… will click into place in further seasons.

[absurdly-overpowered-astronaut]

My thoughts on Lelouch’s character direction in the Resurrection movie

I really don’t like resurrection as a movie and especially as a continuation of rebellion…and I haven’t fully pinned down all my issues with it but what I think I dislike the most is what it dose with Lelouch’s character. Like if you’re going to bring him back and retroactively cheapen the Zero Requiem then I feel like it needs to resolve something he needs to go through an arc but I feel like he just falls back into old habits and not in a fun tragic way but in a stagnant? Idk if thats the best word way.

A big part of the tragedy of Lelouch’s character (atleast to me) was how he pushed away? (Again not sure if thats quite the right wording) the people around him. He isn’t really ever fully present in his loved one’s lives. Constantly distancing himself with a mask (both physically and metaphorically)

And he ends up screwing himself over in alot of ways because of it. Because he keeps this close-distance from people he ends up hurting them. Nanally says as he’s dying in the final episode that she didn’t want him to save the world for her she wanted him in her life. She wanted her brother! Because he’s so focused on what he thinks is best for her and what he thinks she needs he ends up distancing himself from her then losing her. In most of his relationships he thinks he knows whats best for others and what he thinks is best for people is usually removing himself from their lives. The easiest example is Shirly. She didn’t want to have her memories of him erased but he dose it anyway because he thinks the only way to save her/the best thing for her.

With the black knights he’s always keeping up a front with them and it’s the same with the student council. Like for example his friends want to help him find the cat who took something important to him and because he can’t trust them/keeps them at arms length when it comes to the Zero aspect of his life he ends up in this complicated situation where’s he’s working against them. (The ep 4 cat chase isn’t the best example but its the example where going with because this is more so my thoughts then a researched analysis) Kallen wants to be there for him but even when he is the most vulnerable with her telling her about C2’s memory loss and also having the sibling death conversation he puts on an act of not caring for her at all and pushing her away. Only giving her a hint he actually cares.

Not to say his actions in all of these examples aren’t justifiable just that they show an overall pattern of neglecting being present in his relationships in favour of perusing the greater good/pushing others away

This is one of the many ways he parallels Charles. Who though his relationship with his children is probably best described as a festering complicated mess and I wouldn’t really use the term ‘love’ he did atleast care about his children in his own way but sent them away and didn’t come and get them when the war started

It doesn’t matter I’m not being honest about myself and my intentions with my sister and my friends. It’s fine that I’m lying and neglecting being present in their lives because when I fix the future I can just make up.

It doesn’t matter I’m not being honest about myself and my intentions with my kids. It’s fine that I’m lying and neglecting being present in their lives because when I fix the future I can just make up.

-

If they die in the war I can just revive them with my plan so it doesn’t matter if they die.

But it dose matter because it left those children feeling abandoned/betrayed by their parents and traumatised.

It doesn’t matter that I die leaving behind my traumatised loved ones because I’m bringing them a better world.

But it dose matter because it left those loved ones feeling abandoned , betrayed and traumatised.

He left alot of people behind and alot of people confused and I think he should have had to deal with the fallout more. I would have loved for his arc in the film to revolve around this character flaw and him being forced to be present in the lives of his friends and to become more emotional open? Mature? Involved? I think I’ll go with less emotionally destructive/ignorant but instead like I mentioned earlier I think the ending, lelouch leaving with C2 and abandoning everyone he hurt is just an extension and continuation of this issue…Suzaku and Nanally even ask him to stay. They want him in their lives! They tell him this! He doesn’t have to be Zero they just want him to stay and he doesn’t. He once again leaves for a perceived greater good/to help his friends/to cope and hurts them all over again and returning to toxic patterns. He came back only to disappear just as quickly. Sure there would be issues if he stayed I’m not saying its even logically the best option but I think it was important for the stories emotional narrative.

I didn’t bring it earlier but I think Lelouch also has a coping mechanism of de-humanising himself (ie he’s Zero - Zero isn’t a person Zero is a symbol so in/ The Demon emperor - the demon emperor is an intentionally cruel persona / dehumanising because demon. Lelouch and dehumanisation is a big bag of gummy worms I will dig into in a future post because its ever so fascinating to me but I will keep this semi-short) and this dehumanisation is heavily tied to this issue. He dehumanises himself and thats partly how he justifies his avoidance.

So now he is a code bearer he is literally dehumanised as an immortal and becoming a code bearer allows him to continue justifying dehumanising himself and leaving others for the greater good. He is just repeating the same mistake and the film in my eyes is enabling him to. It’s not challenging his internal narrative like the original show did and the original show doesn’t even end with him having sold the issue.

The film works better for me if I see it as a C2 film and not a Lelouch film. C2 found genuine love and connection and rather then using her abandonment/detached coping mechanism (the same coping mechanism I have been talking about Lelouch having) she in resurrection works to get that person back and sticks with him even when its difficult and endangers herself. Showing her growth from the show but she could have done this with everyone not just Lelouch she could have learned to find or atleast start to find community with other characters and no longer be that witch/that strange woman Zero keeps around ect which would let Lelouch have his arc too and even though C2 dose have a relatively solid emotional arc the film doesn’t fully focus on her it much more focuses on Lelouch so I’m still hung up on him being brought back only to not have to deal with loads of the consequences (both good and bad) of his actions.

And Leloch and Suzaku are probably going to just meet up again in Roze so whats even the point of having Lelouch go off with C2 abandoning everyone again just to show up later…(I know the resurrection writers probably didn’t know about Roze or where planing for the movie to fit in with it this is less of an issue with the writing more so an issue with the retroactive canon like how the end of R2 is cheapened for me by resurrection but theres nothing R2 could have done about that. Roze is probably going to cheapen Resurrection for me but thats not Resurrections fault and there isn’t really anything they could have done about it)