#spoken from a trans man

[sunsetforestzone]

public service announcement: im sorry women

[this-should-do]

me when i meet with my colleges first out trans teacher who is like a celebrity with me after one of my teachers puts me in contact with her again (i had interviewed said trans teacher 4 years prior and hadnt met with her since) and she tells me tjat my teacher had so many positive things to say about me, about how i was one of her brightest most well spoken students and that she (within like 5 minutes of having been talking) immediately sees exactly what my professor had been talking about and so many super implied positives about me that i would never had known about and i dod everything in my power to avoid prying for more details but even what i heard was soso nicies

[prac-ticalproblems]

I am psychotic, and this is where I will be delusional about my wife. (A 40+ year old man)

(my url is what it is bc i want him to solve me.)

[supersecretnerd]

Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean

I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch

[speakercrab666]

hi!!! i want top surgery!!! my parents are helping me with some of the cost but i’m poor!!! here is my gofundme!!!

https://gofund.me/b5f3e092

please donate if you can, like i said i am getting some help from my parents which i’m extremely lucky to have but even with that help it would take years for me to save up the remainder of the cost by myself. plus accounting for recovery costs like time off work, rent, potential complications, any unexpected costs, i just want to give myself the best chance i can of going into this prepared.

if you can’t donate then do not donate!!!! i know how hard life is rn for so many of us, take care of yourself first. just reblogging or sharing this post would mean a lot to me.

i just booked my first consultation with my surgeon for May 2025 and i’m so excited!!!!!

[area51-escapee]

Sometimes I still feel like I was just some kind of. Failed woman. I know that I’m a man and I know that other people don’t see me as a man, but I also don’t feel like they see me as a woman per say. Not to say they’re interpreting me as nonbinary or androgynous or something but rather I simply don’t qualify as male or female in their eyes. Other trans men and nonbinary people talk about their connections to womanhood, their significant bonds with women based on experiences that people perceived as women share, and I’ve always felt. Outside of that. Like I’ve been denied access to girlhood/womanhood even when I was a girl, even at my most feminine, I was always doing it wrong somehow, my gender performance always had to be evaluated, critiqued, corrected by people I did not ask. I tried my best but I could never get it right and because I still don’t perform either gender in the expected way I’m denied being treated as either gender, I’m denied being even acknowledged most of the time. It feels strange. It’s easy to say it never worked out because I was always meant to grow up to be a man. But it doesn’t explain why I can’t even relate to other transmen with these experiences.

[freutsch]

There's probably something interesting to be said about how when british trans women on tiktok are doing their 'man voice' as a joke, they often also switch accents to MLE.

There's something there about the accents people choose to depict certain characteristics and the hypermasculinisation of men of colour in our society.

I don't wanna deep this, this is not having a go at any of these women. It's almost definitely a subconscious choice. I just think it reveals something interesting about out attitudes towards certain dialects, and the communities that use them.

[neubauje]

Please read the tags of the person I reblogged this from

fag and dyke does not mean man and woman. transmasc and transfem does not mean man and woman. guy and girl dont even mean man and woman to me anymore

[isekyaaa]

Tbqh the only reason why I don't write original fiction is because I don't feel confident in writing a realistic man. Which is funny because I can write men in fanfiction, but like.... Tbh, I don't think they're very realistic men either. People don't talk like men from games, manga, etc. Which I suppose someone can say, "Well if fictional men don't sound like real men, then why do you need to worry so much?" And I suppose that's a valid point. But still, regardless of how logical it is, I want to write a realistic man.

[bunnysrabbit]

it’s my birthday tomorrow…

[foxxsong]

I get not understanding neopronouns. I totally understand if people with developmental or intellectual disorders need to avoid people that use them because they can't wrap their brain around them enough to use them right or find having to think about them long enough to use the right one, when they very literally are incapable of understanding, distressing. Competing access needs are a morally neutral thing that I will never judge anyone for.

But to go on to talk about how despite this you respect neopronouns EXCEPT (plain text: except) it/its? If you feel the need to clarify that you don't have an issue with most of them, but want to single people like me out specifically? Trauma is understandable, and I know people with those disorders are in particular susceptible to being referred to that way cruelly, but you can just... not mention us.

Literally everything they shared was FINE (plain: fine) up to that point. But singling us out and saying you'll never respect our pronouns specifically - when you could've just not mentioned us at all - does in fact make you an asshole. Having trauma and saying that people that identify with something that was used to hurt you means you don't have to respect them makes you an asshole. Just don't fucking mention us and avoid us like you JUST (plain: just) said you can do fine with every other neopronoun user. You do not have to sit there and list off all the reasons you will never respect us specifically!!

I/DD people have so many limitations that most people just refuse to try to understand and take seriously. If someone struggles to not talk badly about things they find upsetting or confusing because of having an I/DD then that's one thing. People upset by it can block and move on because harassing someone who cannot change is cruel. But you don't get to demonstrate and self-proclaim that you CAN (plain: can) respect and avoid and move on for other people and then turn around and go out of your way to single a specific group out and talk about how horrible their identity is and act like that's somehow acceptable.

Literally, just shut up and do not talk about us. We KNOW (plain: know) people hate our pronouns. We KNOW (plain: know) there are people who do not respect our choice to use them. We KNOW (plain: know) there are people who will just never call us by them no matter what. We don't need people fucking going out of their way to single us out while defending how they respect everyone else like us. That makes you an asshole.

[heaven-ly-father]

God there's nothing I love more than watching my brilliant, polite, well-spoken boyfriend turn into a mindless toy for me.

I love watching him relax when he plays with himself, going from embarrassed to uncaring as his body goes limp and his cock gets hard under his hand-- under my instruction. Reminding him that he's safe with me, that he can let himself feel good without shame. You don't need to think about anything but how good it feels-- you can worry about everything else later. It's not going anywhere. Right now all that matters is being my good, obedient boy.

Seeing the hazy look in his eyes as he nods lazily, his handsome voice repeating back anything I want to hear. It feels so good to listen to me, and he is such a good boy. Nothing quite like watching an intelligent man struggle to find his words between his slurred moans.

I want to play with his cunt and cock until there's nothing in his head except my name and how badly he wants to cum for me. What an honor, to have such an obedient, adoring boy like you. Cum for me, baby.

Over and over, until I say he's done. Even when it's too much, and his poor cock is aching and sensitive and twitching. He'll keep going, because he wants to be my good boy. How terribly lucky I am.

Finally, finally letting him take the toy off when he's shaking. Watching him collapse into his bed with an exhausted grin. My darling boy.

I let him stay like that, floaty and sweet and obedient until he fell asleep to my whispered praises. My good boy. You did such a good job for me. You know I love you so much. So good for me, honey. You're okay. I'm proud of you. You're all mine, and you know I'm all yours. Relax now. It'll all be there for you tomorrow. But for right now, all you need to be is my good, sweet boy. And you are.

I can't wait to do this again but with him asleep on my chest so I can run my nails down his back and play with his hair. My good boy <3

This is about gay trans men // Cishets fuck off

[taliabhattwrites]

Is "hijra" a slur? Contextualizing South Asian (trans)misogyny

A note on the sheer cultural diversity of the subcontinent

There is no realistic way for me to exhaustively examine the context of every South Asian transfeminized population (though believe me, I’d like to). As such, I’m going to limit my scope to India, but make a quick initial note about Pakistan and Bangladesh.

Pakistani transfeminized communities, according to my partner’s sisters who are in the community, do consider ‘hijra’ more derogatory than their Indian counterparts necessarily do and refer to themselves as part of the ‘khwaja sira’ community.

I have sadly not been able to speak to any transfeminine people from Bangladesh, but I have spoken to cis queers who have told me that they use ‘hijra’ in a manner similar to India.

If there are desi queers from those communities who would like to add their perspectives, please feel free to reblog. And for the South Asian communities I haven't mentioned (such as Sri Lanka), please feel free to add your perspectives too! I'm curious to hear from you all.

Etymology and Usage

‘Hijra’ in its meaning and usage amongst the cis is most similar to the word ‘naamard’ (NAH-murd). The ‘naa’ is prefixal, a negation akin to ‘non’, while ‘mard’ is the word for ‘man’. It is a way of unmanning a man, of calling him lacking in the essential quality of manhood, of labelling him, in spirit if not in body, impotent.

As such, you can see how it’s an implicitly third-sexing construction (even before you account for how these communities are explicitly third-sexed, denied the epistemic autonomy to be recognized as women and now third-sexed by law). When Nanda called them emasculated homosexuals, it was not far off from how Indian culture forcibly categorizes and marginalizes them.

Members of the community have told me about their frustration and anger at being referred to as such, even though the word has now become a term through which they organize the community and sometimes advocate for themselves, a political reality that does not inherently contradict their campaigns to be recognized as women, and allowed to self-ID as such. (Recall, the Indian government currently mandates legal third-sexing of the hijra: they must first obtain a “Trans Certificate” and be documented as a third sex before they initiate the process of being recognized as women—a process that is contingent on subjecting themselves to transmedicalist scrutiny and gatekeeping!)

Others, however, have pointed out to me that the term is undergoing a process of reclamation. The term ‘hijra’ has a certain degree of legibility in Indian society even as it is a pejorative with degendering and dehumanizing connotations. It is being reclaimed intracommunally, but also by allies who speak of them without the usual stigmatizing connotations that cis society has saddled the term with.

Even still, I have also been told that the manner in which cis and especially Western academics use the term in scholarship—and I’m quoting here—"makes me want to tear my skin out". The fictions of “recognized gender role in Indian society” and “oppressed only after colonialism” are further simplifications and fabrications that obfuscate the role South Asian ruling-class collaborators eagerly played in petitioning for those colonial-era laws, and ignore such easily available empirical evidence as the Manusmriti mandating punishments for anyone who sleeps with—ugh—“eunuchs”.

Conclusion

In sum, I’d liken the use of the word “hijra” as analogous to the usage of “queer” in the 90s, as a slur in the contentious, contextual process of being reclaimed. As Aruvi put it to me on Bluesky:

We cannot allow cis people to dictate the discursive and epistemic terms of transfeminine culture. At the same time, the term “hijra” still carries with it heavy baggage due to South Asian transmisogyny as well as the academic misrepresentations and epistemic extractivism that Western scholarship has subjected South Asian transfeminized demographics to.

If you want to know how best to use the term, try to do so without third-sexing, and without promulgating fictive ideas of South Asian cultures being “gender-expansive” and “recognizing more than two genders”. Erasing the marginalization of the hijra is endemic to the way the term is used in the West, and that must absolutely be combatted.

On a final, personal note, I also wish to clearly state that I do not reject the label ‘hijra’ because I consider myself essentially different from them. Many Indian (usually upper-caste) trans women wish to distance themselves from the hijra, as though reproducing our society’s disgust for them will spare them from the same fate. That is not an attitude I share, or wish to normalize. The hijra—both those who affirmatively identify with the term, and those who wish to distance themselves from it—are my sisters.

I have simply not been granted the honor of being part of the communities and kin structures, and I do not wish to appropriate their struggles out of respect. Even still, their struggles are and will always be mine.

[wis-art]

I hate that my father was a mega racist neo nazi type and how that reflected on me. Not only years of self hating and depression because I am Trans woman with learning difficulties who was forced into being a manly man, internalizing and failing to unpack everything properly until I hurt people around me and in my community.

I have not spoken to him in half a decade now but the trauma and bigoted leftovers from being raised in my dad's fascist demands of who I have to be as his "first born son, his own flesh and blood" it just fucked me up and i still feel less than a human at times.

My point isn't to blame my dad on the times I hurt other Trans women on this website on my dad but to say, that being a victim and perpetrator are not exclusive, the system of abuse and bigotry raises bigoted and abused people who perpetuate that behavior and I would like to thank other Trans women and queers of color for speaking sense into me even if it really wasn't pleasant being told I'm a fucking moron.

I'm sorry, I'm trying and I will not let my past define me.

[canideformed]

If you’re intersex and your relationship to being trans and/or cis is complicated, that’s okay.

Perisex people, trans or cis, have no say in how an intersex person experiences their intersex variation in context with their sex and gender identity.

So many intersex people have complicated and nuanced relationships to sex and gender.

Many of us will go from having experiences that are close to trans ones to having experiences that are closer to cis ones. Or vice versa, or transmasc experiences to transfem, or literally any other combination. And these experiences may impact identity. I’ve spoken to intersex people who have stopped identifying as trans, who have gone from identifying as transfem to transmasc, who have begun identifying as transfemmasc, who have stopped identify as transfemmasc and started identifying exclusively as transfem.

A perisex person screaming that you can only be a woman or a man, trans or cis, if you have X, Y, or Z trait is a bigot.

You’re allowed to be yourself and use the words that best describe your own life.

[gin-juice-tonic]

Doesn't happen 24/7 or anything but sometimes when I make posts about Grunkle Stan being trans people get a bit "tee hee a misogynist trans man, what an absurd situation" about it and it's like

I can sort of understand where the bewilderment comes from if you haven't spoken to or encountered very many trans men. But trans men are just people. And people can be anything

Including people a lot worse than beloved kids cartoon misogynist Grunkle Stan

Even besides the fact that plenty of women can be misogynist in their own right, you kind of have to examine if you think maybe trans men are all raised the same way or all have the same experiences and personalities from being born "female"

I know this is sort of a weird thing to talk about, but I just think it doesn't hurt to re-examine if you view trans men as people, who can behave in any sort of way or hold any belief - Or if you just view us as some separate thing, who have an assumed immutable set of personalities and beliefs they can hold.

Even if the context that forces this examination is silly cartoon trans headcanons.