#spoiler alert: it wasn’t the good guys

[soulless-bex]

buying the books the US is banning even though i’m canadian because i’m not blind and i don’t trust Pierre Poilievre to not pull the same shit and ban them on this side of the frontier as well. fuck all the far-right politicians and every one that supports them. “cheaper groceries” are not worth losing human rights, and i guarantee you that you will lose them too even if you’re not apart of a group that’s being targeted right now if we get this ball rolling. if you can’t understand something as simple as that then maybe you need to read a goddamn history book before it becomes too late

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

Fuck you *gives your oc a healthy relationship to at least one parent*

[itneverendshere]

If you ever heard the song “Insecure” by Jazmine Sullivan, I was wondering if you could read a fic with rafe about that

it’s Like toxic!rafe and reader

INSECURE

PAIRING: bsf!toxic!rafe x kook!reader warnings: emotional manipulation; self-hatred; toxic!rafe.

If someone asked you how it started, you couldn’t even tell them.

It was Rafe Cameron you were talking about.

The guy was a walking red flag, all swagger, all ego, and too much money for his own good. He had the type of face that made you forgive him even when you didn’t want to. And trust, you'd tried to not want to. But that never worked out, obviously.

It’s not like you thought you could change him or whatever. You were not one of those girls. You just...thought you’d be different. Special. Maybe you got a little caught up in that fairy tale bullshit sometimes. Like, maybe if you were the one who held his attention long enough, maybe he’d stop messing around and actually be serious.

Actually see you.

Spoiler alert: That’s not how it worked

You learned that real quick with Rafe.

It wasn’t even two months in before you found some girl's scrunchie in his Jeep.

You were leaving the club, both tipsy, and you slid into the passenger seat when you spotted it in the back. You know how girls leave stuff behind like it’s a game? Like it’s their way of marking territory? That scrunchie was practically a neon sign that read, "I was here."

You picked it up, twirled it around your finger, and waited for him to notice.

He didn’t.

“What's this?” You finally asked, not even looking at him, just staring at that stupid pink scrunchie like it had all the answers you needed.

Rafe glanced over at it for half a second before shrugging, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel. “Dunno. Probably Sarah’s.”

Sarah Cameron, his sister, the golden girl of the family. His excuse every time something came up.

“It’s not Sarah’s.” You weren't buying it. You knew that girl’s style inside and out, and there’s no way in hell she’d be caught dead wearing something this basic. You tossed it into the backseat, feeling your blood boil.

Of course he’d still treat you like shit, why care about a lifelong friendship, right?

Rafe rolled his eyes. He didn’t even have the decency to act like he cared that you were pissed.

“You’re being dramatic,” he said, his voice dripping with that condescension that always made you feel stupid for caring. “It’s just a fucking scrunchie.”

But it wasn’t. Not to you.

See, the thing with Rafe is, he never said he was yours. You never had some grand conversation about exclusivity, about titles, none of that. But that’s how it was with him. He’d show up at your door, flash that killer smile, and you’d forget every reason why he wasn’t good for you.

And yet, there was this constant feeling in your chest.

Tight, twisted, like a knot you couldn’t untangle.

It wasn’t just the girls or the scrunchies or the way he’d disappear for days, leaving you with nothing but unanswered texts and half-assed explanations. It was you. How you felt around him. You were constantly second-guessing yourself, wondering if you were enough, if you were what he wanted. Things were so different before.

If you were even on his radar when you weren't right in front of him. And that feeling, that deep, gnawing insecurity? It was starting to mess with your head.

A week after the scrunchie incident, you found yourself at another one of those parties on Figure Eight. The kind where we Kooks pretend we're so much better than everyone else but still drink cheap beer out of red solo cups. It was the usual crowd—Topper, Kelce, a few other guys you barely knew, and, of course, Rafe.

You were wearing this black mini dress you knew he liked, the one that hugged your body in all the right places. You wanted to feel good tonight, like you could make him see you the way you needed him to. It was pathetic, but you thought if you played your cards right, maybe you'd get more than just half-hearted attention.

But then, halfway through the night, you saw her.

This girl—some random pogue you'd never seen before—leaning against the bar, laughing at something Rafe was saying. And it wasn’t just that he was talking to her. No, it was the way he was looking at her. That look he used to give you when you first started whatever this was between you two.

Like she was the most interesting thing in the room. Like she was the only thing. Even if she was wearing that cheap, threadbare tank top and worn-out jean shorts. The kind of clothes that screamed she probably worked at some surf shop or waited tables just to get by. And here Rafe was, cozying up to her like she was something special. Like she wasn’t just another girl he’d forget about tomorrow. Making yourself compare to someone like her.

You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry, your palms sweaty as you watched them. You could feel your heart sinking, your gut screaming at you to just leave. But you didn’t. You just stood there, like an idiot, frozen in place, watching him slide his hand up the back of her arm, a move so smooth, so practiced, it made you feel sick.

You hated this. Hated yourself. Hated that you let him have this kind of power over you.

Your mind did that annoying thing where it flashed back to the first time you slept with him. Like it wanted to torture you with every little detail of how you got here. You’d both been drunk, of course. But not blackout drunk—just the kind of buzzed where everything feels a little too easy, a little too warm.

You’d known Rafe forever, been best friends since you were kids. He was practically a part of you, or at least, he used to be. You trusted him, which is why when he showed up at your place that night, laughing about something stupid, you didn’t think twice when he crashed on your couch.

Only he didn’t stay on the couch.

You remember how he looked at you from across the room, that cocky smile he always wore, but softer somehow. Like he wasn’t quite sure if he was going to make a move. He’d leaned in, brushed his hand against your leg—casual, but not really. Your heart had pounded in your chest, but you didn’t stop him.

You didn’t want to stop him.

And when he kissed you? You were done for. All those years of being “just friends” went right out the window. It was like all the tension between you, all the unspoken stuff, just exploded. You were in his lap before you even realized what was happening, tugging at his shirt, pulling him closer.

You told yourself it didn’t mean anything—that it was just this one-time thing, a moment of weakness.

But Rafe… he knew how to get to you.

He made you feel like you were the only thing that mattered, even though you weren’t. You were just there, convenient. But at the time? You didn’t see it like that. You thought maybe this would change everything. That maybe the Rafe you’d grown up with was still in there somewhere, buried under all the coke, the girls, the chaos.

You were wrong.

It hurt. It hurt like hell. And the worst part was, you couldn’t even blame the girl. She probably had no idea who Rafe really was. She just saw the guy with the money, the smile, the charm.

Your throat tightened as he leaned in, saying something that made her laugh again. That same laugh he’d once pulled out of you. God, how could you be so stupid? You knew what he was. Hell, you’d known for years. But still, you’d let yourself get wrapped up in him, like maybe you’d be the exception. Like maybe you’d matter.

But you didn’t. You were just another girl he’d sweet-talk, mess with, and then forget about the second something new and shiny came along.

Topper came up beside you, nudging you with his shoulder. “You good?”

You blinked, tearing your eyes away from the scene in front of you and forcing a smile. “Yeah, totally. Just need another drink.” Your voice was light, casual, but inside, you were falling apart.

He gave you a weird look, but shrugged it off.

Guess everyone knew how you felt about Rafe. You weren't exactly subtle about it.

You downed another vodka soda, the burn doing nothing to numb the ache in your chest, and made a beeline for the back of the house.

You needed air. You needed to breathe.

You barely made it past the kitchen before you felt someone grab your wrist, pulling you into the hallway. You turned, expecting it to be some random guy, but no—it was Rafe. His grip was tight, a little too tight, and you could see the annoyance in his eyes.

“You’re leaving already?”

Rafe’s grip on your wrist was too tight, but it wasn’t like that surprised you anymore. It was always like this with him—one second, things were fine, and the next, you were stuck in this same stupid cycle of feeling small and stupid for caring.

“I just need some air,” you muttered, trying to pull away, but of course, he didn’t let go. His eyes flicked across your face like he was trying to figure out if you were actually upset or just being “dramatic,” which, spoiler alert, you weren’t.

“You’re not seriously mad about that girl, right?” His voice dripped with amusement, like your feelings were some kind of joke to him. He leaned in, lowering his voice like that was supposed to make you feel better. “It’s not that deep.”

It's hard to remember this used to be your best friend, before you two started whatever this game was and he decided you just weren't that girl to him anymore, just another body he could call up when he needed to get laid.

You stared at him, mouth dry, trying to figure out why you were even still standing here.

“Really?” You couldn’t help the sarcasm in your voice. “Because it kinda feels like it is.” You finally yanked your wrist free, stepping back just enough to get some space. “Do you even care? Like, do you even care that you’re making me feel like this?” You hated how your voice cracked, how vulnerable you sounded.

“We’ve just having fun,” Rafe just stared at you like you were overreacting. “I don’t get what the big deal is. Why are you always making this such a thing?”

Fun. God, that word made your stomach turn.

Fun for who? You knew what he meant, but hearing it out loud still stung. You’d been holding onto this hope, this ridiculous idea that maybe you were different, maybe he cared more. But it was so clear now. This wasn’t a relationship. This wasn’t even close.

“It’s a thing because it is a thing,” you said, voice shaky but steady enough. “I can’t just turn off my feelings like you do, Rafe. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when I see you flirting with other girls like I don’t exist.”

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “You’re making this complicated. I never said we were serious. You knew what this was from the start.”

And there it was.

The slap of reality you’d been avoiding for way too long. He never said you were his, never promised you anything more than what he gave—a few nights here and there, some attention when it was convenient for him, but nothing real.

And you knew that. But it didn’t stop you from wanting more.

“But you still keep me around, don’t you?” you said quietly, mostly talking to yourself at this point. “You keep me close when it’s easy, when it’s fun for you. And I let you.”

God, that hurt to admit out loud. You let him make you feel like this. Over and over.

Rafe just stood there, completely unfazed. Like this was no big deal. He shrugged, and it made you want to scream. “If you’re so unhappy, then just leave.”

You stared at him, feeling your heart twist in your chest. How did it always come back to this? Him pushing you away like you didn’t mean anything. Like you weren’t standing right here, hurting. You searched his face for something—anything—that showed he actually gave a damn.

But there was nothing.

“Yeah,” you whispered, throat tight. “Maybe I should.”

Rafe blinked, staring at you like you’d just told him the sky was green. The moment you said “maybe I should,” it was like the words didn’t even register with him. He let out this half-laugh, half-scoff, eyebrows raised. “Wait—what? You’re not actually serious right now.”

You just stood there, trying to hold onto the last shred of whatever self-respect you had left, but his reaction made you feel like you were the crazy one. Like you weren’t the one who’d been dragged through the emotional wringer for months.

“I’m serious,” you said, keeping your voice as steady as possible, but inside? You were shaking. “I’m done.”

He shook his head, like you were talking nonsense. “C’mon, stop. You always say shit like this when you’re mad. You’ll cool off in a couple hours. You’re just… overreacting. Again.”

That word—overreacting—was like gasoline on the fire burning inside you.

“I’m not overreacting. I’m tired.” You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling the weight of all the times you’d let him off the hook. “I’m tired of feeling like an idiot every time I care about you. Every time I think we might actually be something.”

He took a step closer, and you could smell the beer and expensive cologne clinging to him. “We are something,” he said, his tone softening just enough to sound almost genuine, like he believed it. “We have fun. You’re acting like I’m out here trying to hurt you or somethin'.”

“You don’t think you’re hurting me because you never even think about me in the first place,” you snapped, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “You never even consider how any of this makes me feel, and that’s the problem. You don’t care.”

His jaw clenched, but he didn’t argue. He didn’t fight back like you half-expected him to. Instead, he just stared at you, confusion all over his face, like this was the first time he’d ever heard any of this.

“So what, you’re just gonna leave?” He asked it like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Like the concept of you actually walking away from him didn’t make any sense. “You’re not serious. You won’t actually leave.”

Your heart twisted at that—at how confident he was that you’d stay. That no matter how many times he messed up, no matter how many girls there were, or how many times he ghosted you, you’d always be right there, waiting. Because you always were. All your life.

He was so sure of it.

You felt your hands shake, and you hated that he still had that power over you. That even now, standing here in this stupid hallway at some stupid party, your heart was still fighting your brain, still wanting to hold onto him just a little bit longer.

But you couldn’t. Not anymore.

“Yeah, Rafe. I’m leaving.” The words came out firm, stronger than you even thought you were capable of right now. “I’m not playing this game with you anymore.”

For a second, something flickered in his eyes. Panic, maybe. Or maybe it was just the realization that he didn’t have you as locked down as he thought. “You’re really gonna walk away from this?” He gestured between the two of you, as if whatever this was had been so good, so untouchable. “Don’t be stupid.”

You let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head. “You think I’m the one being stupid? You’ve taken me for granted this whole time, and I was dumb enough to let you."

He just stood there, silent, looking like he didn’t even know how to answer. Because he didn’t. He never actually thought you’d go. He never thought you’d call him on his shit and mean it.

But you did. And now he was realizing it.

Without waiting for him to say another word, you turned and walked away, feeling like you could finally breathe for the first time in a long time. 

You barely made it a few steps before you heard him call after you. “Wait, hold on!”

You kept walking, forcing yourself to put one foot in front of the other. You knew if you stopped, if you even looked back at him, you’d get sucked right back in. But of course, Rafe wasn’t going to let it go that easy.

“Wait!” His voice was closer now, and before you could pick up the pace, he grabbed your arm—not harshly this time, just enough to make you stop. “Come on, don’t just walk away.”

You sighed, shutting your eyes for a second before turning around. “What, Rafe? What do you want me to say?” You were so exhausted from this, from him, from the constant back and forth. “I’m not doing this anymore.”

He let go of your arm, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated but trying to rein it in. “Can we just… talk about this? You’re pissed right now, and I get it, but you can’t just leave like this.”

“I can leave,” you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “That’s literally what I’m doing."

He exhaled sharply, like he couldn’t believe this was happening. “You’re really just gonna throw everything away? After all this time?”

You stared at him, heart pounding in your chest. “What exactly am I throwing away? Huh? What have we even been lately? ’Cause from where I’m standing, all I’ve been doing is waiting around for you to decide if I’m worth more than just a random hookup whenever you feel like it.”

He winced at that, and for a second, you thought maybe—maybe—he’d get it. Maybe this would be the moment where he actually realized how badly he’d been screwing up. But instead, he went for the same excuse he always did.

“It’s not like that,” he said quickly, like that would erase everything. “You know I care about you, okay? We’ve known each other forever. You’re… important to me.”

“Important to you?” You laughed, but it wasn’t even close to funny. “If this is how you treat people who are ‘important’ to you, then I don’t even wanna know how you treat people who aren’t. Oh wait, I do know."

Rafe sighed, shifting his weight from foot to foot, like he was trying to figure out the right thing to say. “Look, I know I’ve messed up. But…Can we just, like, think about it for a second? Talk about it?”

You shook your head, feeling the frustration build again. “What is there to talk about? You only wanna have this conversation now because I’m actually leaving. You never wanted to talk about it before.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but you cut him off. “No, Rafe. You think I haven’t tried to bring this up? Every time I tell you how I feel, you brush me off. I’ve been bending over backwards, trying to make this work, and all I’ve gotten in return is you treating me like I’m an afterthought.”

Rafe frowned, his jaw tightening. “That’s not true. I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m trying to talk to you.”

“Because I’m walking away,” you shot back. “That’s the only reason you care right now—because you don’t wanna lose control. That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? You never actually thought I’d leave.”

He didn’t say anything, which pretty much told you everything you needed to know.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “We used to be best friends. I knew you better than anyone, and you knew me. But I don’t even recognize you anymore. And honestly? I don’t recognize me when I’m around you either.” Your voice softened, "I deserve better than this. And you know it.”

For a second, he just stood there, looking at you like he was processing everything. His face wasn’t smug or arrogant anymore. He actually looked… lost. Maybe even scared. It was the first time you’d seen him drop the act in a long time, and for a split second, you felt that pull again—the one that always made you want to fix things, to make it better, to stay.

But you couldn’t do it this time. You couldn’t keep saving him at the expense of yourself.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” he finally said, his voice quieter, almost vulnerable. “You’re… you’re one of the only people who actually gets me. I don’t wanna lose that.”

That hit you right in the gut, because deep down, you didn’t wanna lose him either. He was right—you did know him better than anyone. But that didn’t change what he’d been putting you through. And just because he was scared of losing you didn’t mean he was ready to treat you the way you deserved to be treated.

“I don’t wanna lose you either,” you admitted, “But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being the girl you turn to when it’s convenient for you.”

He swallowed hard, eyes flicking down to the ground like he didn’t know what to say. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was finally realizing how badly he’d screwed this up.

You sighed, stepping back. “Look, I hope you figure your shit out. I really do. But I’m not sticking around to wait for that.”

You’d barely taken two steps when you heard him again, this time his voice quieter, almost desperate. “Wait—please. Just… don’t go.”

You paused, but you didn’t turn around. You were trying so hard to keep it together, to not let him see how badly this was wrecking you. Then he dropped the bomb.

“You’re the only thing keeping me sober.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Slowly, you turned back around, eyes wide. “What?”

He looked at you like he was begging you to understand, to stay. “I’m serious. Since I stopped using…you’re the only thing that’s been helping me hold it together. You leaving—it’s gonna fuck me up. You know that.”

Your heart twisted, hard. Of course he’d pull this now. You stared at him, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” 

“I’m not lying,” He insisted, taking a step closer. “I swear. I’m trying to do better. You’re the reason I haven’t gone back to that shit. You’ve always been the one to pull me out of it, and if you leave—”

“Stop,” you snapped, holding up a hand. “Do you even hear yourself right now? You’re really trying to put this on me?” Your voice was rising, and you didn’t even care if people inside the party heard you. “You’re trying to make me responsible for you staying clean? Do you realize how fucked up that is?”

Rafe flinched, his expression shifting from desperate to defensive. “I’m just saying it how it is. You’ve helped me more than anyone else. You know that.”

“No,” you shot back, shaking your head in disbelief. “I’m not doing this. I’m not carrying that weight for you. That’s not fair, and you know it.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but you weren’t done. “You can’t just dump your problems on me and expect me to fix them. I’m not your therapist, and I’m definitely not your savior.” Your chest was heaving now, all the anger and hurt that had been building up for months finally spilling over. “You don’t get to use your sobriety as a leash to keep me here.”

His face fell at that, and for a split second, you saw a flash of guilt. But it wasn’t enough. “I’m not trying to manipulate you,” he said, though even he sounded unsure of his words now. “I just… I don’t know what else to do.”

“You don’t know what to do because you’ve never had to actually deal with the consequences of your actions,” you fired back. “You’ve always just said whatever you needed to say to keep people around. To keep me around.”

Rafe looked at you like he wanted to fight back, but the fight wasn’t there. Not this time. “That’s not what this is,” he muttered, but it sounded weak even to him.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside you. “I’m glad you’re sober. I really am. But that’s not my responsibility. It never should’ve been.” You paused, feeling every word you were about to say. “If staying clean depends on me staying in your life, then you haven’t actually changed. You’ve just found a new addiction.”

He stared at you, and for the first time, he didn’t have a response. No cocky smirk, no empty promises. Just silence.

“I’m not gonna be your crutch anymore,” you said softly, the anger fading, replaced with a deep, painful sadness. “You need to get better for you, not for me. And if you can’t do that… then this was never gonna work anyway.”

Rafe’s shoulders slumped, and you could see the defeat in his eyes, like he was finally realizing that no matter what he said, this time you weren’t coming back.

“Please don’t do this,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

You blinked back the tears that were starting to sting your eyes. “You’ll figure it out."

He was on his knees before you realized. Literally.

Your eyes widened in complete disbelief. “Rafe, what the hell are you doing?”

He wasn’t even looking at you anymore, just staring at the floor, hands running through his hair like he was about to lose it. “Please don’t leave. I’m begging you. I—I can’t… I don’t know what to do without you.”

You froze, staring at him like he’d lost his damn mind. Because maybe he had. What was this? You felt like you were watching some movie, except it was your life, and it wasn’t dramatic or romantic or whatever he thought it was. It was just… sad. And kind of terrifying.

“Get up.” Your voice wasn’t even loud—it was flat, emotionless. You didn’t even know what to feel anymore. “Rafe, seriously. Get the fuck up.”

He didn’t move.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, voice shaky. “I’m so fucking sorry. You’re all I’ve ever had, okay? Since we were kids, you’ve been the only person who’s ever stuck with me. Everyone else leaves. Everyone. But not you. You’ve always been there, no matter how much I’ve messed up.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut because, deep down, they were true. You had always been there. Through everything. The good, the bad, and the absolute worst. And maybe that’s why it hurt so damn much now—because he’d taken that loyalty, that friendship, and twisted it into something ugly and unrecognizable.

“I can’t believe this,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him. “I seriously can’t believe you right now.” You shook your head, staring at him in disbelief. “You think this is gonna fix everything? You think getting on your knees and saying some bullshit is gonna make me forget all the times you hurt me?"

He looked up at you, his eyes glassy, and it almost made your heart break. Almost. But you weren't going to fall for it anymore. “I didn’t mean to take you for granted. I just—I never thought you’d actually leave. You never left before.”

“And that’s exactly why we’re here,” you snapped, “You always thought I’d stay, no matter how bad you treated me. You counted on it."

“I’m sorry,” he said again, voice cracking. “I know I fucked up. But I’ll do anything to fix it. Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Please, just don’t go.”

You stared at him, the guy you’d known since forever, the one you’d stuck by when no one else did. The one you thought you could save, even though now you realized you couldn’t even save yourself when you were with him.

But this? Him on his knees? This wasn’t him fixing anything. This was him panicking, terrified that the one thing he’d taken for granted all these years was slipping away.

“I’m not the one who’s supposed to keep you alive. That’s on you. I’ve been there for you since we were six, and look where that’s gotten me. Look where that’s gotten us.”

His eyes were pleading, desperate, but you knew that if you stayed, this would keep happening. He would hurt you again, and you’d forgive him.

Because that’s what you did. That’s what you’d always done.

“I can’t keep being your safety net,” you whispered, feeling a lump rise in your throat. “You have to figure out who you are without me always picking up the pieces.”

He shook his head. “But I don’t know how.”

And that was the saddest part of all. He didn’t know how. He had no idea who he was without you constantly there to catch him when he fell. And you were tired of being the one holding him up while he pulled you down.

You took a deep breath, looking down at him—this broken, scared version of Rafe you never wanted to see.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, “but this? This isn’t love. This isn’t healthy. This is you being afraid of losing control. And I’m not gonna let you use me to keep your shit together anymore.”

His eyes filled with tears, and for a second, your heart ached. Because yeah, you loved him once. Maybe you still did in some messed-up way. But love wasn’t supposed to feel like drowning.

“I hope you get better,” you said, taking a step back. “I really do. But I can’t be a part of this anymore.”

And for the first time in your life, you were the one to walk away.

[wolvietxt]

𝗅𝗈𝗀𝖺𝗇’𝗌 𝗎𝗇𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗉!

pairing : logan howlett x reader warnings : hurt / comfort, light angst, miscommunication, implied mutant reader, anxiety, happy ending, spoiler alert he’s not unsure i was struggling w a title 💔 wc : 1.4k

the mansion always felt like home, but lately, that warmth was amplified because of logan. you both had slipped into an easy rhythm, keeping your relationship hidden from the other x-men. it was comfortable - just the two of you stealing moments when no one was looking. it felt private, like something untouched by the chaos of the mansion. you cherished the secrecy, the way it allowed the connection between you and logan to grow without any external pressure.

you were in the kitchen, humming softly as you prepared some tea, when you heard bobby’s voice drifting in from the hallway. “hey, is it true? you and logan?” his question made you freeze.

you turned slowly, blinking at him. “what?”

“oh, man. didn’t think you’d keep something like that a secret. everyone knows by now,” bobby chuckled, leaning casually against the doorframe. “jean heard from someone, and now it’s all over the place.”

your stomach dropped. “everyone?” you asked, feeling the anxiety creeping in. the very thing you had hoped to avoid was unraveling right in front of you.

“yep. you guys were cute sneaking around, though,” he said, not even noticing your discomfort.

after bobby left, you stood there, gripping the edge of the counter. everyone knew. it didn’t take long for the feeling of dread to settle deep in your chest. would logan be angry? embarrassed? he had always valued his privacy so much, and you hated the thought of the others invading that. the relationship had been something sacred, just for the two of you. now, it was out in the open.

the door to the kitchen swung open, and logan strode in, his expression tight. just seeing him made your chest tighten with nerves.

“you heard?” you asked quietly, not able to look him in the eye.

he grunted, grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge. “yeah, i heard.”

you tried to gauge his mood, but his face was unreadable. he popped the cap off the bottle and took a long drink, his jaw clenched.

“logan, i - ”

“why’d it have to get out?” he interrupted, voice gruff, his frustration clear. “we had somethin’ good. just us.”

the hurt hit you like a punch to the gut. so he was ashamed. your throat tightened, and you struggled to keep your emotions in check. “i didn’t say anything… bobby just told me jean heard, and now…”

logan paced the kitchen, the tension rolling off him in waves. he wasn’t even looking at you, which made it worse.

“everyone’s gonna be on my back now. won’t leave us alone.” his voice was low, but the anger was unmistakable.

you swallowed hard, your heart racing. “so… you didn’t want them to know about us? at all?” your voice came out shakier than you intended as you felt your vision blur, the lump in your throat growing.

logan finally looked at you, his brow furrowed. “it ain’t that, it’s - ” he stopped, running a hand through his hair. “dammit.”

but the damage was already done. your thoughts were spiraling, the weight of his words heavy on your chest. he’s ashamed of me, you thought, the anxiety creeping in fast. your fingers trembled slightly as you set down the mug you were holding. you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“right,” you muttered, turning away, not wanting him to see how hurt you were. “i get it.”

“wait - ”

but you were already out the door before he could finish. your vision blurred as you walked down the hall, feeling the eyes of a few passing students. you knew they’d probably already heard the rumors, whispering about how you’d somehow managed to get close to someone like logan.

your chest ached as the thought consumed you. maybe they’re right. you hadn’t even realised you’d made it to your room until you were pushing the door open, the quiet solitude of the space offering no comfort. you sat on the edge of your bed, trying to calm your breathing, but the feeling of being overwhelmed was closing in fast.

there was a knock on the door not long after, and you knew it was him. you stayed quiet, hoping he’d just go away, but instead, the door creaked open, and logan stepped inside.

“can we talk?” his voice was softer now, less angry.

you wiped at your eyes quickly, not wanting him to see that you’d been crying, but your voice betrayed you. “i don’t… i don’t really have anything to say.”

he sighed, walking over slowly. he sat down next to you on the bed, his weight sinking into the mattress. you kept your gaze focused on the floor, unwilling to look at him. the silence between you was heavy.

“why’d you run off like that?” he asked after a moment, his tone laced with confusion, but softer than before.

“why do you think?” you shot back, voice small. “you were pissed. because everyone found out about us.”

he frowned, glancing over at you. “i wasn’t pissed about that. not like you think, anyway.”

you didn’t respond, but the hurt was still etched into your expression.

logan ran a hand through his hair, looking like he was trying to find the right words. “look… ‘m not ashamed of us. not one damn bit. that’s not what this is about.”

the breath you were holding released slightly, but your mind still spun with doubt. “then why were you so angry?”

he sighed, leaning back on the bed, his shoulders tense. “because i finally had somethin’ that was just mine, ya know? just for me. and now it’s out there for everyone to poke at, to ask questions about.” he hesitated, his voice gruff but laced with vulnerability. “we had a good thing goin’. private. didn’t wanna lose that.”

the weight of his words settled in, but you still struggled to wrap your head around it. “so you’re… not upset that people know about us?”

he shook his head. “no, that’s not it. it’s just… i don’t like people buttin’ into my business. always been that way. but us? we’re good. i didn’t want this to make you think anythin’ different.”

you were quiet for a long moment, processing what he’d said. his frustration had nothing to do with being ashamed of you - it was about the loss of the privacy you both had come to value. the realization was slow, sinking in bit by bit, but when it finally hit, the tension you’d been carrying in your chest started to ease.

logan shifted next to you, glancing at you cautiously. “you still mad?”

you let out a breath, feeling some of the anxiety lifting. “i just thought… you didn’t want people to know about us because you were embarrassed. like… like i wasn’t good enough or something.”

his brow furrowed deeply. “what? that’s the last thing i’d ever think. you’re more than good enough, bub.” his voice softened even more. “you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time.”

the way he said it, so simple and direct, made your heart flutter. the worry that had been gnawing at you began to fade.

logan leaned closer, his hand reaching out to gently tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “sorry if i made you feel like that. didn’t mean to.”

you felt yourself relax for the first time since everything had started unraveling earlier. “it’s okay,” you whispered, glancing up at him. “i just… i didn’t want you to be ashamed of me.”

“never,” he said firmly, his eyes locking onto yours. “not for a damn second.”

his hand lingered against your cheek, and slowly, he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. the gentleness of the gesture made something in you melt, and you found yourself leaning into him. the warmth of his presence, the solid weight of him next to you, was grounding in a way that eased the rest of the lingering anxiety.

he kissed you again, this time softly on your temple, then on your cheek, and again at the corner of your mouth. the tenderness in each kiss was almost overwhelming, a silent apology in every touch.

“you’re mine,” he murmured, his voice rough but full of affection. “and i ain’t lettin’ anyone make you feel less than that.”

you couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips. the worry that had felt all-consuming not too long ago seemed to dissolve under his touch.

“you’re not getting rid of me that easy,” you said quietly, teasing just a bit.

logan chuckled softly, pulling you closer, wrapping his arm around you with a possessive kind of protectiveness. “damn right i’m not.” he muttered, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

and for the first time since the whole mess started, you felt like everything was going to be okay.

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[cumonstevie]

Home Sweet Home Part 3

Summary: "It's good to be home," you think as you arrive back in Hawkins, Indiana; not only three years older, but also as a mother.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: Just a shit ton of fluff

A/N: This took 8 consecutive hours to write so I hope you guys like it!! It's 3.8k words 😬 my back hurts from slouching over my laptop for so long so I'll edit this later.

A year and a half later

You and Steve have been doing so well at co-parenting for Penelope thus far. You had slowly eased Steve into her life, and she happily accepted him. It took her a while to comfortably call him ‘dad’ but once she started, that’s practically all she could say.

Steve doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the day when she confidently called him ‘dad’ without him or you having to tell her.

It was late at night- well, it was late for Penelope to still be awake, and you were trying everything to put her to sleep but she wouldn’t stop crying.

“Shhh, Penny, it’s okay.” You try to comfort her in your arms.

Her cries echo off your newly purchased apartment and you groan, rocking the toddler to try and calm her down.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.

“Baby, please calm down-”

“I want daddy!” She cries louder and you halt your movements.

“What?”

“I want daddy!” Penelope sobs in your arms.

“I-” You’re stunned for a moment because this was the first-time hearing Penelope call Steve ‘daddy’ on her own without you or him coaxing her to say it. “Daddy will come over tomorrow, okay? But you need to go-”

“No!” She yelled, “I want daddy now!”

It didn’t seem like she was going to let up any time soon, so you walk over to the phone and hastily dial Steve’s number. It was only 8 o’clock so you knew he’d still be up- hopefully.

It rang twice before he picked up. “Hello?”

“Steve,” you breathed. “Thank god you’re still awake. Listen, I know it’s kinda last minute but Penelope won’t go to sleep and she keeps crying and asking for you so do you think you could maybe-”

“I’ll be there in a bit. Leave the door unlocked for me, yeah?” You could hear him moving around at his place, probably putting his shoes on.

“Okay, thank you so much.” You let out a sigh of relief.

Penelope’s cries get louder and you think Steve can hear her because he murmurs, “My poor baby…” You hear his car keys jingling soon after. “I’m on my way.”

A few minutes go by and Steve knocks two times before coming in. You know he probably sped all the way over and you make a mental note to scold him after Penelope goes to sleep.

“I’m here,” he huffed out, seemingly out of breath.

Upon hearing Steve’s voice, Penelope lifts her head from your shoulder and turns to her father all teary-eyed. “Daddy!” She cried, leaning out of your arms and toward him.

He visibly freezes at her words and his eyes pan over to you, wide. “Did she just-” he’s cut off by your daughter's cries of ‘daddy’ as she tries to grab him. “Come here, baby. Daddy’s here, don’t worry, sweetheart.”

He rubs her back soothingly and she slowly lays her head on his shoulder, doing the little hiccup-sob combination as she starts to calm down.

“Daddy…” She cried, “Stay.”

“It’s okay, sweet girl.” He hushes. “Daddy’s not going anywhere, alright?”

This seems to ease her mind because a few minutes later, she’s fully asleep in his arms. You silently guide him to her room where you watch as he puts her down and tucks her in. She stirs a bit but Steve gently pats her chest and she stills.

Once the both of you were sure she wasn’t going to wake up, you exit her room and walk back to the living room. The moment you enter the room, Steve pulls you into a hug.

“She called me daddy.” He beamed happily. “She fucking called me daddy, oh my god I feel like my heart is gonna burst open, I’m so happy right now.”

You hug him back, giggling a bit. “Yeah, it surprised me too.”

The both of you stay like that for a bit before he tears himself away from you and checks the time.

“It’s getting late, I should head home.” He says with a bit of a frown. “I can come by tomorrow if it’s alright with you?”

“Nuh uh,” you shake your head. “You promised your daughter that you’d stay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

You tell him he can take your room and you’ll sleep on the couch, but he refuses and says he’ll sleep on the couch instead. You protest but he shuts it down and you let out a huff but say ‘okay’ before going to get him a spare pillow and blanket for the night. You had started easing Steve into Penelope’s life little by little, starting with him visiting her at your place whenever he could (which he made sure to visit every single day no matter what). After she was comfortable with him being around, you segued into him taking her out, whether it be to the park, or to get ice cream (you also tagged along so that she was more comfortable). From that, he started taking her out, just him and her and not too long after, she started staying the night at his house.

He had done up a spare bedroom at his place just for her and she loved it so much. He pulled out all the stops for his little girl. Telling his parents about Penelope was a bit rough. He told you that they were a bit skeptical about him being the father but when Steve whipped a picture of little Penelope out of his wallet and showed them, they went silent.

From there, they were disappointed that he was so careless that it resulted in a child. He told them that they could be mad at him all they want but that he has a daughter now and he’s stepping up and although he doesn’t have a great relationship with them, he would love it if Penelope did.

They were obviously a bit hesitant but after meeting Penelope, they let their guards down. It made Steve happy that they showered her with love and affection but it also made him a bit upset because he never really experienced that from them.

He felt like this was a turning point for them, though. A good turning point.

Today was Penelope’s 4th birthday party and Steve insisted that it should be at his house. You didn’t fight him on it. You figured his house would be better suited for a birthday party than your little apartment.

A knock on the door alerts your ears and you quickly glance into the backyard, seeing Steve run around with Penelope, before opening the front door.

“Sorry I’m late,” Eddie huffs out, “the band stayed and performed late and I didn’t get home till way later and then when I woke up I couldn’t remember where I put Pen’s gift so this whole morning I was tearing up my place looking for it.” He then shows you a poorly wrapped gift box with a smile. “But I found it.”

You giggle. “You didn’t miss much, Penny’s just been playing with the kids and Steve so far.”

“Thank god.” Eddie sighs. “Where do I put this?”

“We have a table outside for gifts. Come on.” You beckon him to follow you.

Eddie sets the gift on the table then makes his rounds saying hi to everyone. Steve is chasing Penelope around the yard and he lets out a playful roar as he picks her up and catches her. She screams and he laughs, giving her a kiss before setting her down carefully.

It was then that she spotted one of her favorite Uncle’s. “Uncle Eds!!”

The little girl runs over to Eddie as fast as she could, her pink tutu that she insisted on wearing even though it was cold outside, flowing about.

“Pen!” The curly-haired musician exclaimed as he knelt down and captured her in a hug. “How’s my favorite birthday girl?”

Penelope giggles. “Uncle Eds, I’m the only birthday girl!”

“You’re right.” He smiles before giving her a big kiss. “You’re getting so big, Pen. Don’t go growing up on me too fast.”

“Ima grow bigger and faster!”

“No! Don’t say that, I’ll cry!” Eddie pulls a dramatic frowny face which makes Penelope laugh.

Steve walks up beside you with his hands on his hips; a typical Steve Harrington pose. “Please tell her to stop saying that, she tells me all the time that she’s a big girl and it breaks my heart.”

Steve pouts at his daughter and she giggles in Eddie’s arms. “Daddy don’t be sad, when I get bigger ima take care of you!”

Steve’s eyebrow quirks up and he points a finger at her. “I’ll hold you to that, little lady.”

“She’s not getting bigger, not on my watch.” Eddie says as he squishes her in a hug. “I’m gonna squeeze you in a little box so you stay little forever!”

Penelope gasps. “No!”

“Yes!”

Penelope wiggles out of Eddie's grip and starts running away from him. “No! Never ever ever!”

Eddie runs after her, telling her that he’ll never let her grow up. You giggle, watching the two and Steve turns to you.

“Everyone here?” He asks.

“Yeah, Eds was the last one to show up.”

“Alright,” he nods. “I say we let her play for a little while longer then sing happy birthday?”

“I was thinking the same thing, Harrington.”

He points to his head, then to yours and says, “Great minds think alike, Y/L/N.”

It was fairly easy to slip back into your friendship with Steve. After the awkwardness of him finding out that Penelope was his, the two of you acted as if no time had passed. It was refreshing and you didn’t realize how much you missed being around him.

To say your feelings for Steve were gone, would be a lie. Your feelings for Steve never really went away. Even if you tried so very hard to leave them behind, they only grew more when Steve would play with Penelope or spend time with her in general. He adapted to his role as a father rather quickly and you weren’t going to lie, it was attractive.

You would never tell him, though. You didn’t want to ruin the dynamic that the two of you had. Everything, so far, was good.

You had tried going on a date a while back but it fell through once you told the guy that you had a child. Steve was very upset about it. The date had lasted less than an hour. You were having a good time, asking questions about each other when you mentioned you had a daughter. The guy’s demeanor changed quickly and he closed himself off. It was awkward after that. He confirmed that you had a daughter once more and when you said yes, he cleared his throat.

“Um, I’m sorry but I don’t think this is going to work out.” He says. “You’re a great girl but-”

“But me having a kid is a problem.” You finish his sentence in a mono-tone pitch.

“No!” The guys exclaimed. “It’s just- It’s kind of-”

He stumbles over his words, trying to save face but you shake your head and pull out money for your meal, placing it on the table.

“It’s fine. I know me having a child isn’t ideal but maybe you should try to at least be an adult about it.”

The guy scoffs. “I’m not about to play step-daddy to someone else’s kid.”

You roll your eyes and stand up. “Grow up.” You say before walking out.

You understand that dating someone who has a child could be a bit scary but he didn’t even give it a chance! He closed off the minute you mentioned Penelope.

You pull up to Steve’s house and slam your door shut in annoyance.

‘I’m not about to play step-daddy to someone else’s kid’

Get real.

You knock on the door and patiently wait for Steve to open it.

“Hey,” he says when he sees you on the other side. “Why are you here so early? I thought you had a date?”

“I did.” He can sense the annoyance in your voice and he moves aside to let you in. You put your purse down on his table and turn to face him. “He wasn’t too keen on the fact that I have a kid.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrow and he’s about to ask what the dude said but it’s like you read his mind because you tell him.

“Said he’s not about to play step-daddy to a kid that’s somebody else’s.”

“What the hell?” He has a look of disgust flushed across his face.

“Yeah,” you nod. “He didn’t even wait a few minutes before he was telling me that it ‘wasn’t going to work out’ between us! The minute I mentioned Penny, he shut down.” You huff out, running your fingers through your now messy hair.

“What a dick!” Steve is visibly baffled. “Welcome to the real world! There’s a chance that you might date someone who has a kid!”

“Right?” You agree. “Like I get it, I’m young and I have a toddler and yeah that’s kind of scary but he didn’t even give it a chance!”

Steve’s hands are on his hips as he shakes his head. “God, what an asshole. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Eh,” you shrug. “Probably dodged a bullet anyway.”

“Definitely.”

“I’m never gonna date again. I’m gonna be lonely forever!” You groan.

“No you won’t,” Steve reassures as he pats your shoulder. “There’s someone out there who will want to be with you and doesn’t mind that you have a kid.”

“Suuuuuure,” you mumble. “When you find him, let me know, alright?”

Steve chuckled. “You got it, sweetheart.”

Penelope comes running into the room shortly after, practically leaping into your arms and you cradle her to you. She tells you that her and Steve are gonna watch movies all night long but both you and Steve know she’s most likely going to fall asleep in the middle of the first movie.

She asks if you’re going to stay and watch movies with them and Steve encourages you to do so.

“What, you’re gonna go home and sulk about what a crappy date this was? Nuh uh. Stay and watch movies with your family.” He tells you.

“Yeah!” Penelope adds. “Watch movies with family! Daddy got the movie with the kitties!”

Aristocats has been Penelope’s favorite movie recently.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stay.”

Penelope is happy and the three of you move to the couch. Steve puts the movie in and Penny sits in between the two of you, knocking out exactly midway into the film.

Steve puts her in her room then comes back out, coaxing you to stay for another movie. It works and he pops in ‘Just One Of The Guys’. You two enjoy each other's company and toward the end of the movie, you and Steve are fast asleep on the couch.

You gathered everyone around the table that held the cake as Penelope climbed on top of the chair. Steve puts a pink birthday hat on her little head and she insists that both you and him put one on as well.

You oblige with her wishes and put a pink hat on. Jonathan wastes no time with taking pictures of the three of you. He’d develop them as soon as he could and give them to you.

Penelope’s eyes scanned the yard as she beamed happily at everyone. Both yours and Steve’s parents were there, the Party, Eddie, Nancy, Robin, and Jonathan- all in attendance for your daughter's fourth birthday party. Your heart swelled knowing all the people that were present loved your daughter just as much as you and Steve did.

You all sang happy birthday to Penelope and she blew out the candles, causing everyone to cheer.

“Wait!” She shouts with her eyes squeezed shut. “I’m still wishing!”

“Oh! Sorry, sweet girl. Everyone shhh!” Steve says.

Everyone quiets down and Penelope is heard murmuring underneath her breath but no one can make out what she’s saying. After a bit, she opens her eyes and smiles.

“I’m done!”

Everyone cheers again and you cut the cake and plate it while Steve hands them out. When Penelope’s done eating her slice of cake, you start opening the gifts.

“Okay, this one is from Uncle Dusty.” You hand her the gift and she tears it open excitedly.

“A tea party!!” She yells out happily, turning to her father. “Daddy, we can play tea party! Thank you, Uncle Dusty! You’re my favorite!”

Dustin tells the four-year-old that she’s welcome as he beamed at her words. Eddie, however, wasn’t taking it too well.

“What?!” He exclaimed. “What about me? I was your favorite earlier!”

Penelope giggles. “Uncle dusty gave me a tea party so he’s my favorite now!”

Eddie sulks as she continues to open her gifts and Dustin sticks his tongue out at the musician in a mocking manner. Not too long after, however, Penelope opens Eddie’s gift.

“Oh. My. Gosh.” She enunciated every word. “It’s a guitar!! Uncle Eds, it looks like the one you have!! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!!”

Although it was a toy guitar, you and Steve knew you would never know what silence felt like after this moment.

Steve rubs his face with his hands when he sees the gift. “Oh no…”

Penelope had been obsessed with Eddie’s guitar from the moment she saw it. She always wanted Eddie to play it and she always wanted to touch it. Eddie would tell you she was a musical prodigy in the making.

You and Steve give each other the same look before you say, “Say goodbye to the peacefulness.”

Steve groans while Penelope jumps up and down happily. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re my favorite now, Uncle Eds! We can play guitar together!!”

“Any time you want, Pen.” Eddie smiles at his niece before locking eyes with Dustin who stared at him with a blank face. Eddie mouths, “In your face!”

You finish up the gifts and the kids play with Penny for a little bit before you can tell that she’s beginning to get tired. You and Steve end the birthday party, thanking everyone for coming as they left. Once they were gone, Steve put Penelope down for a very much needed nap while you started picking up.

Steve joins you not too long after and when you’ve finished cleaning up, the pair of you slump down on the couch, exhausted.

“Penelope’s fourth birthday party was a success. Nice work, Y/L/N.” He raises his hand for a high-five, and you meet him halfway.

“Can’t take all the credit. You did most of the work.” You tell him.

“Yeah, but you gave birth to her. If you didn’t, we wouldn’t be here celebrating her turning four.” He smiles at you affectionately before his smile drops. “Oh my god, she’s four. My baby’s four.”

“Yep,” you nod. “And she’ll only get older from here.”

“Don’t remind me.” He pouts. “I want her to stay little forever.”

You laugh as he sulks for a bit. The two of you sit in silence and you close your eyes for a little before you feel Steve shift in his seat.

“Y/N?” He says and you open your eyes to find him facing you.

“Yeah?”

Steve bites his lip and his fingers tap against his jean-covered thigh. His habit every time he’s nervous.

“Um,” he starts. “We’ve been doing good, right? I mean, co-parenting and all.”

“Yeah…” You have no clue where this conversation is headed.

“And our relationship with each other is good. We don’t fight or argue or anything-”

“Steve,” you cut him off. “Spit it out already.”

You start to think he’s trying to ease into telling you that he was seeing someone, and you were preparing yourself to hear it, but his next words threw you off.

“I have feelings for you.” He says quickly and your eyebrows furrow as you sit up to look at him more clearly. “Well, I’ve always had feelings for you. They never went away. I just never said anything because you said you weren’t ready to revisit us romantically but, I don’t know, today just-” He sighs deeply, his fingers combing through his hair. “You look so beautiful today- well, you look beautiful every day and we work so well together that it got me thinking about what life would be like if we were, you know, together. As a couple.”

“Steve…”

“I know, okay? I know I fucked up back then and I know you’re hesitant but god, Y/N, you take up so much space in my head. You and Penny. That’s all I care about. That’s all I want and that’s all I’ll ever need. Ever since you walked out of my house almost five years ago, I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I haven’t been on a date since- well, since I was with Nancy because I didn’t want to be with anyone else but you. I want to be with you, Y/N. I want us to be a family, officially. Me, you, and Penny in a big house. I wanna come home from work and know that I hit the jackpot because I get to see my two favorite girls every single day of my life. I want-” He takes a minute to breathe before he takes your hand softly. “I want you.”

He’s looking into your eyes and you just know that he means every word that he’s said just now.

You don’t know if it’s butterflies in your stomach or if you’re gonna throw up.

“Steve,” you breathe out.

“Please say you feel the same way.” He says softly. “If you don’t, that’s okay and we can just go back to how we were before I confessed all of this but if there’s even a slight chance that you feel the same way, please give me the chance to make you happy for the rest of your life.”

A smile makes its way to your lips and your eyebrow quirks up. “For the rest of my life, huh?”

“Mmm Hmm,” he hums. “For the rest of your life, for the rest of my life, for the rest of our lives… I’m in it for the long run.”

“Steve,” you say softly. You watch as the boy in front of you hangs on to your every word, anticipating what you’ll say next. He looks nervous and scared, but also hopeful. You lean in and kiss his cheek softly. His eyes close as he relishes in the feeling. “You’re in luck because I feel the same way.”

His eyes snap open and they sparkle in the light. “Really?”

“Really.” You giggle. “My feelings never went away either.”

“Oh my god.” He breathed out, pulling you into a hug.

You stay like that for a bit before pulling away. “I want to take this slow, though. I wanna do this right, I don’t want to rush things, Steve.”

He looks at you affectionately, rubbing the skin of your cheek with his thumb.

“I’ll do whatever you want, Y/N, as long as I get to be with you in the end.”

Tags:

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[thebirdsandthebats]

Okay @s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e I’m sure you know plenty BUT I’m going to use your wonderful and hilarious comment on this as an excuse to talk about Bernard, bc I realized recently that there are plenty of ppl who haven’t read most of the comics he’s been in. So get ready for my long overdue:

UNPACKING BERNARD DOWD + HIS TRAUMA (for those who cannot keep up with comics but want to get to know him)

So to start, Tim met Bernard years ago ofc, when they were in high school. It’s established pretty quick that Bernard is an extremely Unserious guy LMAO, the first thing he does is literally circle Tim and try to feel him out socially, see what kind of guy he is. He’s the kind of guy who gets himself in trouble with his big mouth, and seems to enjoy poking at Tim and testing his patience. By the time we meet Bernard again in the recent years, he’s grown a lot, but at his core he’s still the light-hearted, fun, goofy guy with very strong opinions. Just less stand-offish, maybe

Throughout the time Tim spends at this school though, Bernard does experience some wild shit. He lost Darla (somebody he really cared about), he experienced a shooting at his school, and then Darla came back from the dead, kind of scared the hell out of him, and used him to contact Tim again. It was kind of played for laughs, but like. That’s gotta fuck you up. (Robin #140)

Obviously this is the kind of thing that maybeee has a lasting effect on you. And BECAUSE Tim Drake: Robin got cut so short and the writer had to rush to wrap up the series, we’re left to fill in a lot of gaps and draw conclusions about the years we didn’t see Bernard ourselves. But we absolutely get some insight as to his life after Tim left that school and we stopped seeing him in the comics. Spoiler alert: it was hard.

In TDR, Bernard discusses the the cult that he’d been in that Tim saved him from in Urban Legends. He says that “he’d accepted himself”, but others hadn’t. Obviously there’s the natural reading that he means his queerness (which has me chewing through drywall), but I think that he’s speaking very broadly too. Bernard is a very odd example of a civilian, because he’s always getting dragged into things much bigger than him. And even before that, he had his big ideas, his conspiracies, his loud personality. He tended to rub people the wrong way in high school. Then in issue #7 of TDR (the Bernard pov issue my most beloved, weird pacing aside) Bernard refers to this “oozy, sticky feeling” that he ALWAYS feels when Tim isn’t around. He says when he’s alone it’s harder to put one foot in front of the other. To keep GOING. To wake up every day.

I think that Bernard has always felt like an outcast. (Robin #121, he doesn’t fit into any clique). He wasn’t as okay with it as he acted. And I think he wasn’t getting any attention from his parents. (Batman: Urban Legends #5, Bernard’s parents nonchalance to the days leading up to his kidnapping)

So just like Bernard explained to Tim, that feeling got bad. and he wanted to let go. The chaos monsters, the cult, all of it was a means to an end. But then Tim agreed to see him again, and I think that sparked something in him. Because he started learning to fight. When he was tied down to that alter and Tim was saving him, I think it fully sank in to Bernard that he didn’t want to die. Reconnecting with Tim gave him hope and made him really feel something good for the first time in ages.

So now that they’re dating after the cult fiasco, we get to know this current Bernard. A less goading, maybe calmer Bernard. But he’s still himself, of course, rambling about his ideas and making bad jokes and sticking to his guns (he has NEVER been a pushover, no idea where people get that idea?). I think a lot of people complained that Bernard mellowed out too much in terms of attitude, but I think if he seems “nicer” it’s because 1) he’s grown now. It’s been a while since we last saw him, and he’s clearly changed a lot. And 2) because he’s dating Tim now. He likes him a lot, and he’s an affectionate partner. He wants to lift Tim up.

But the fact that he was pulled into a cult still remains. And as lighthearted as Bernard tries to be, that traumatic experience still happened. It said in Urban Legends #5 while Tim was searching for him that Bernard had welts on his arms and legs and had been acting different, so it’s not like he was just snatched up on a whim. He’d spent significant time there. For those who haven’t read much abt the ways cult trauma specifically can fuck you up, I recommend doing a search if you’re in a good headspace for that and want to understand him more. because it’s pretty bad.

And then! yeah. you guessed it. Bernard gets kidnapped again. Chained up next to a BOMB that’s counting down. RIGHT WHEN HE’S WORKING ON HEALING FROM ALMOST BEING SACRIFICED BY A CULT.

And surely this can’t get crazier. He’s almost died twice in the past 6 months. except, remember his parents? In TD:R #7, we really see a little more of his relationship with his parents. He doesn’t live up to their standards, and his dad specifically seems to just want to argue with him. The restaurant they’re at is attacked, and everything goes to shit, and. you know, I think these panels really speak for themselves.

And for the record, when it’s revealed that everyone is seeing their worst fears, Bernard’s parents fears are not about him.

So now Bernard has to deal with that. And we start to see that Bernard is really not as okay as he’s tried to be. He keeps a baseball bat by his door because he’s been kidnapped twice now. And just when he’d likely thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard the Chaos Monsters were back. I can’t imagine he feels safe. He lashes out for the first time since all this has happened and yells at Kate and Tim, because while they’re doing what they feel is necessary to save more people (AND I DONT BLAME THEM AT ALL), Bernard can’t talk about it.

And I will forever be sad and insist that TD:R got cancelled too soon, just before we could get into the really juicy stuff, because things had to be wrapped up pretty quick and this was the only comic Bernard was consistently appearing in. But when Tim is giving himself up to the chaos monsters, Bernard goes out and rallies anyone he knows can help. Things were rushed because there was no more time to flesh out the story the way it could have been, but I’m including these panels just because I love Bernard Audacity Dowd using a fucking flashlight and shadow puppet to call Batman. geeking out for a minute. And then leading the battalion to save Tim with a SLEDGEHAMMER. gay people rule.

So yeah! While I see the vision of how a lot of Bernard’s trauma was meant to be semi-resolved and let him come to peace after saving Tim back, we just didn’t have the time for him to heal properly. I’d give anything to get inside his brain again. UHH IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU LOVE BERNARD NOW and don’t come at me if I left something out, some of my comics aren’t with me rn. Bonus TimBer for the road:

[steveseddie]

rain check

steddie | rating: t | cw: none | wc: 3k | tags: steve has a crush on eddie, but he thinks eddie hates him, (spoiler alert: he doesn’t), miscommunication, confessions, flirting

click here to read on ao3

The sky starts falling just as Steve leaves Family Video. 

He doesn’t mean it literally- although he wouldn’t be surprised if that was the next weird thing to happen in Hawkins. After the Spring Break from Hell they just had, anything feels possible. 

For now it only means that it starts raining. Hard. So hard, in fact, that running across the parking lot to get to his car is enough to soak Steve’s Nikes and the bottom of his jeans, as well as flatten his hair against his forehead- his umbrella doing very little against the wind pushing the water in all directions.

“It couldn’t start raining five fucking minutes later?” Steve mutters, tossing the umbrella in the back and settling in the driver’s seat. 

His jeans stick uncomfortably to his legs and his shoe makes a squelching noise when he presses it against the pedal. Steve grimaces. He can’t wait to get home and change into dry clothes. 

Unfortunately, he can’t rush home to do that, not under these conditions. He has to drive slowly, squinting his eyes at the windshield to try and make out the road through the pouring rain. 

Steve considers pulling over and waiting for the rain to go down, hating that he feels like he’s driving blind, but he knows there’s a chance he’ll be waiting for a long time. 

So he keeps driving- slowly, carefully. It seems he’s the only person in Hawkins who got caught in the rain so crashing into another car right now because he can’t see past his windshield seems unlikely, and there’s no way someone would choose to walk under these conditions.

Or at least that’s what he thinks. 

Steve doesn’t see him at first- the only other person who’s out in the storm. 

He’s walking on the side of the road, hunched shoulders, no umbrella- not that it would do any good with the wind blowing every which way. 

It takes a moment for Steve to recognize him, but as his car gets closer and he squints at the guy through the window, Steve notices the familiar clothes, from the drenched leather jacket to the muddy Reeboks, as well as the familiar wet curls plastered to his face from the rain.

Steve’s heart swoops in his chest the way it always does these days when he sees Eddie. Almost immediately his stomach churns- also the way it does lately when he sees him. 

Because for some reason that Steve can’t comprehend, Eddie Munson hates his guts. 

Before the Spring Break from Hell, Steve wouldn’t have been surprised to find out that Eddie hated him. In highschool, Steve was everything Eddie would stand on a table and loudly proclaim his hatred for- a rich popular jock. But after everything they went through, after fighting side by side to prevent the end of Hawkins, after Eddie jumped into Lover’s Lake to save Steve and Steve dragged an injured Eddie back from the Upside Down, Steve expected Eddie’s opinion on him to have changed. Hell, Eddie had even called Steve cool and badass and maybe even flirted with him a little.

Now, Steve is tempted to believe it was all a hallucination brought on by the demobat bites because as soon as it was over, and as soon as Eddie recovered from his own bites, it was like none of that happened. 

Eddie went back to hating Steve, shutting down his every attempt to get to know him and to become friends. 

It probably wouldn’t bother him so much if he wasn’t the only one Eddie seems to be avoiding, the only one he refuses to spend time with, but he is. In the last few months, Eddie has effectively wormed his way into their little group, becoming friends with everyone except him. He has study dates with Nancy, he hangs out with Robin, he has his nerdy campaigns with the kids and he has become Max’s go-to person for rides to the arcade and the skate park and the diner. All while shutting down every single one of Steve’s invitations to hang out and his attempts to start any conversations. 

It fucking sucks- especially because the constant rejection hasn’t done anything to squash Steve’s crush on the guy. 

Because even if Eddie ices him out and is sometimes a dick to Steve, he’s nothing like that with everyone Steve cares about. He’s good with the kids- constantly driving them to and from the arcade and Family Video, planning campaigns for them even during the summer. He’s nice to Robin- bringing her lunch to work, taking her thrift shopping in Indy. He’s sweet to Max- keeping her company when her mom is working, letting her paint his nails or braid his hair. 

And Steve can’t ignore any of that, or how cute Eddie is when he rambles about some nerdy book, or how hot he looks when he puts his hair up in a bun to fight off the heat or how talented he is when he plays his guitar.

Steve is helpless in the face of all of that, and within months, he finds himself falling for a guy who won’t give him the time of the day.

He knows it’s pathetic and yet, Steve keeps trying, hoping that Eddie will give him a chance, even if it’s just to be friends.

That might be why, instead of driving past him, Steve pulls the car over next to him, leaning across the console to roll down the passenger’s side window.

“Eddie! Hey!” He yells to be heard over the rain. 

Eddie whips his head around, brushing his wet bangs away from his eyes to peek through the window. When he recognizes Steve, his jaw clenches. Steve pretends it doesn’t hurt that the sight of him is enough to make Eddie tense up. 

“What do you want, Harrington?” He shoots back. He only ever calls him Harrington- not Steve or any outrageous nicknames. 

It shouldn’t bother him, but Eddie has nicknames for all of their friends- Birdie, Red, Wheels. So it’s just another reminder to Steve that he’s on the outside when it comes to Eddie. 

When Steve doesn’t reply, Eddie gives him a mean look. “Did you just stop to brag about having a fancy car to get you home while some of us have to walk in the rain?” 

Steve’s eyebrows knit in a frown, the corners of his mouth turning down. “Dude, no, of course not.” 

“Then what do you want?”

He does his best to ignore his hostility. “Where are you headed?” 

“Home,” Eddie says, his reply clipped. 

And because Steve is a pathetic man with a crush, he unlocks the passenger door and says: “Get in.”

“What?”

“I’m giving you a ride, man, get in,” Steve says, gesturing at the passenger seat. Eddie glares at it like it’s going to bite his ass. 

“I don’t need a ride,” he says with a huff.

“Dude, you still have like, five miles left in this downpour,” Steve says in a bitchy tone. Yes, he has a crush on the guy, but that doesn’t mean he can’t get on Steve’s nerves. 

Especially when he’s being a stubborn ass. “It looks like it’s stopping,” he says with a shrug. 

Steve groans, throwing his head back against the headrest in exasperation. “Jesus Christ, Munson! Get in the car!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that an order, King Steve?” He quips, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s tempted to drive away and leave Eddie to walk five miles in the rain, but he can’t bring himself to do it. It’s not even about his crush anymore, it’s just that Steve is a decent guy- no matter what Eddie seems to think. 

“Look, man. Whatever reason you have to hate me can’t be worth drowning out here or- or catching like, pneumonia or something. Just because you can’t stand me doesn’t mean I don’t care if you die, okay? So suck it up and stop being a dick for five minutes and get in the fucking car!” Steve snaps. He didn’t mean to yell, but maybe he underestimated just how frustrated he feels about Eddie hating him for no reason. 

For a few seconds, Eddie just stands there, stunned, the rain still falling down on him. He blinks at Steve a few times, tiny droplets falling from his long lashes. 

He looks pretty, Steve thinks. Even if, realistically, he looks like a drowned rat- or at least that’s what Robin would say.

He knows she’s going to laugh when he tells her that Eddie picked a storm over getting in the car with Steve. Then she’ll hold Steve’s hand and listen to him whine about his unrequited crush. 

When a few more seconds pass and Eddie doesn’t move, Steve thinks he’s going to have to give up and drive away. But before he can, Eddie opens the door and slides into the passenger seat, quickly rolling up the window to keep water from getting in. 

Then he sits as far from Steve as he possibly can- his arms crossed over his chest, his knees angled towards the door, his head turned towards the window. Once again, Steve tries not to let it sting, focusing on cranking up the heat and switching the car into gear. 

The rain picks up as Steve starts driving them to Forest Hills. If he didn’t think Eddie would jump out of the moving car for doing it, Steve would give him a smug look because the rain isn’t stopping like he said it would, it’s actually getting worse. 

He’s been driving for a few minutes when Eddie breaks the silence, surprising him and making him jump. Steve thought Eddie would just stay silent and ignore him the whole time. 

“I don’t hate you,” Eddie mutters, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. Even with the heat on, his clothes are soaked through and he’s probably still cold after spending so long in the rain. Steve wishes he had a hoodie or a blanket in the back that he could let Eddie burrow. 

“You have a funny way of showing it, man,” he says, not even angry at him, just confused. 

Eddie groans. One of his hands tugs a strand of wet hair in front of his face. “I know, fuck. Sorry.” He sinks down on the seat. “I just don’t know how to act around you, not without an apocalypse happening, I guess.” 

Steve thinks back to the couple of days leading up to their fight with Vecna. Even if they had a rocky start when Eddie almost killed Steve with a broken bottle, he thought they were getting along well, considering the circumstances. Near the end, Eddie was even cracking jokes and calling Steve names! 

And maybe it was just because the world was ending, but then, why did he keep acting normal with everyone except Steve?

“You don’t seem to have that problem with anyone else,” he says, failing not to sound too bitter about it, but it really stings being the only one Eddie doesn’t want anything to do with. 

“I guess not but- I don’t know, man, they’re a lot like me. Under that badass exterior, Wheeler really is just a nerd. And Buckley and I are both, you know, queer and well, the kids- I have a lot in common with them. But you- I don’t-” He tugs on his hair with a frustrated groan. 

“Wait, you- you’re queer?” Steve can’t help but ask. He knows he shouldn’t fixate on that. It doesn’t help his unrequited crush to know that Eddie likes guys anyway since he obviously doesn’t like Steve.

He realizes that Eddie probably didn’t mean to admit that at all when he drops his head in his hands. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that. Now I made you hate me. How’s that for irony?”

“Woah, Eddie, hey,” Steve says, his eyes darting back and forth between Eddie and the road. It’s getting harder to see from the rain picking up which means Steve’s attention should be solely on getting them home without driving off the road, but Eddie is a ball of anxiety and nerves and fear next to him and Steve can’t ignore that. So he pulls the car over on the side of the road and turns sideways on his seat so he can look at Eddie. 

“I don’t hate you, okay? I’ve been trying to be your friend for months, for fuck’s sake. This doesn’t change that.”

Eddie lowers his hands, looking at Steve with his big doe eyes that still look a little scared. “No?”

Steve shakes his head. He hesitates a little before tacking on his own admission. “Actually, it gives us something in common. I’m, uh, I’m bisexual. I like girls and boys.” 

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up in his face. “Oh.” He visibly relaxes except for his fingers that keep playing with his rings in his lap. “Um, it’s only boys for me.” 

“Okay,” Steve says, giving him a little smile. “Cool.” 

Eddie’s lips twitch almost imperceptibly into a smile of his own. He looks like he wants to say something else, but he ends up opening and closing his mouth a few times before finally getting any words out. “Steve?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I don’t hate you-”

Steve frowns. “You said that already.”

Eddie holds his hand up. The tips of his fingers are paper white and pruney- Steve should probably start the car again soon and get him home before he dies from hypothermia. Whatever he has to say he can say it while Steve drives-

“I actually kind of like you,” Eddie finishes and Steve is glad he hadn’t started driving again or he might’ve crashed the car into a tree because-

Eddie likes him? Holy shit!

He’s still trying to wrap his head around that when Eddie starts talking again, nervously toying with his rings as he explains. “It wasn’t just that we didn’t have anything in common or that I didn’t know how to act around you- I was worried that you’d hate me if I got too close or if I flirted too much. It- it was easier when I thought we were going to die and I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with you turning me down easily or- or telling me to fuck off, so when we weren’t fighting for our lives anymore I just-”

“Decided to be a dick?” Steve asks, eyebrows raised in amusement. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Eddie bites his lip around a smile. It’s not even a full smile, but it’s still directed at Steve and so far he’s only gotten scowls and glares from Eddie, so this right here is enough to make his heart stutter in his chest. 

“Well,” Steve says sheepishly, hanging a hand from his neck. “You didn’t have anything to worry about. I, um, I actually liked it when you did that- getting close to me and flirting. I liked it a lot.” 

Eddie’s jaw drops, his round eyes blinking at Steve. “Really?” 

Steve hums. “After everything was over and you weren’t dying anymore, I couldn’t stop thinking about- about you doing it again,” he admits and hears the way Eddie’s breath catches in his throat. “So you can imagine my disappointment when you shut me out instead.”

“I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me.”

“I did. I do.” Steve says. Then he gets an idea. “Actually what do you say if I drive us to my house instead? We can hang out. And my place is closer so we can get you out of those wet clothes sooner.” 

Eddie’s lips tug up into a smirk. It reminds Steve of the one he gave him time in the Winnebago. This is Eddie’s face when he’s about to flirt and he knows he has nothing to lose. Steve braces himself. “Already trying to get me naked, big boy? At least buy me dinner first.”

Blood rushes to Steve’s cheeks, the pet name running through him and settling somewhere at the bottom of his stomach. 

But for all that he’s thought about Eddie flirting with him, he’s thought about flirting back just as much. So he leans closer to Eddie, reaching over the console to twirl one of his wet curls around his finger, giving him his most charming smile. “I can make you dinner. Does that count?”

Eddie’s smirk falters a little. “You want to cook me dinner today? Like- like a date?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Even after I was a dick to you?”

Steve bites his lip, hesitating. “If you don’t want to-” he backtracks, leaning away from Eddie, only for him to grab him by the lapel of his vest, keeping him in place. 

“Like fuck if I don’t. I just thought you’d want to know me better before asking me out, s’all.”

“That’s what dates are for, Eds,” Steve says, enjoying the way Eddie’s eyes widen a little when Steve calls him that. “Have you never been on one?”

Eddie snorts. “I’m a gay nerd in Hawkins Indiana, man. I’m lucky to get mediocre handjobs in dark alleys.”

Steve makes sure to move his eyes slowly and noticeably from Eddie’s face to his lap, giving him an easy grin. “I can give you more than just a mediocre handjob.”

A startled laugh tumbles from Eddie’s lips before his lips stretch into a shit-eating grin. “Oh, I’m sure you can, sweetheart.” 

The pet name sends a shiver down Steve’s spine and he finds himself licking his lips, wanting to kiss Eddie, but he doesn’t want to move too fast when he just accepted to go on a date with him- 

Except, he hasn’t accepted yet. Steve kinda made the decision for him.

“Hey, if you’d rather have our date some other day I can just take you back to the trailer-”

“Nah,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “Why waste any more time? Drive us home, Stevie, show me what I’ve been missing.”

So Steve does just that, pushing away thoughts of kissing Eddie and getting him out of his wet clothes to focus on the road.

At least until he gets them home- where that’s all both of them can think about for some time. 

[evermorx89]

thoughts about obx4

⚠️ obx4 spoiler alert!!!!!⚠️

hi guys! this is just my personal opinion, don’t hate me pls 😭, english is not my first language btw so if anything is wrong, i’m sorry

first of all, what the fuck they’re thinking??? killing jj? this is so unserious, i mean, he was probably everyone favorites character, he passed his WHOLE LIFE suffering and that was his end? i can’t believed that, it’s a terrible ended for the character that i’m preferred think that this is a joke for the next season.

and then, that ridiculous plot of jj not being luke’s son, he passed the last 20 years getting abused by a guy who even wasn’t he’s real father, this is so inhuman, so fucked up, and after we find out that he’s a genrett, he gets an worse father, who’s worse than luke, a father who abandoned him, and knew it that he was alive and didn’t even care about it, come on pate’s brothers you all are better than this, or maybe not.

now, sarah is pregnant and i really think is cute, BUT have you all seen the life that they all live??? how they will be able to raise a child in the middle of all this? i don’t understand why making her getting pregnant now? they really can’t wait the final season to do that?

thank god that sarah and rafe are finally making peace, that’s what i’m talking about guys! one of the only good thing that i can found in obx4 was them getting their brother and sister relationship again, i’m so happy about this, when they hug we realize that after all happened what rafe really need was his sister love, he almost crying and she forgive him OMG that kill me, i almost cry with him too, because all he need right now is a family love, after all ward did to him, he just needs their sisters, sarah and wheezie, love, and i will never get tired of saying this! he doesn’t need a relationship now, HE NEEDS FAMILY LOVE BECAUSE WARD WAS A TERRIBLE FATHER FIGURE FOR HIM, SARAH AND WHEEZIE!

and my last thought about season four is about rafe and sofia relationship… i’m really sorry guys, i think that they’re very cute, fiona and drew have an amazing chemistry between them and fiona is an AMAZING actress, but i just felt that this relationship wasn’t a real needed right now? come on, on season 2 rafe as an coke addicted, an abuse brother, and did so bad stuff with the pogues and his own sister, that the real thing that he needed was a therapist, help and a redemption arc with his sisters, sarah and wheezie, because i can’t see a better option of making rafe more human that do this and i just feel that his relationship with sofia is so undeveloped, she’s just appear from nowhere in obx3 and was put in the middle of this, just to make rafe more human? and don’t get me wrong, i love them, i don’t them to break up or something, i just don’t like what they’re doing with them, if they have a development relationship maybe i liked them more? but i just can’t had along with them, when we have a jiara development, and jarah development and a cleopope development, because i know that the pate’s brother can do it better with rafe and sofia, they just don’t know what to do with rafe’s character anymore and then they start making mess like this.

[mydearestbeloved]

#0.3 [Rough Draft]

CW: Implied Yandere, a little NSFW

⚠️ POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT to my "Trial Player"-AU (Imagine 1#).

Note:

Any 'Rough Draft' like this is more like a 'What-If's scenarios: not yet cannon/can be cannon or not cannon at all in my story in the future (I'll decide as I go).

I have too many ideas but too little time, so I'll just post them as drafts here until I have the time to edit them thoroughly. If I do decide to include these scenarios in my story, then the scenarios' [Rough Draft]-status will be updated as [Chapter].

_____

Draft I:

You should’ve known this was a terrible idea from the start.

After that... debacle with Jinwoo, where he had barely let you leave the bed, you thought a change of space—a brief moment to breathe—might clear your head. Meeting your friends seemed like a good idea at the time. Seemed.

But here you were, sitting at a café, your friends’ relentless teasing ringing in your ears, Jinwoo seated beside you, his usual silent presence somehow looming even larger today. He wasn’t supposed to be here! You were supposed to meet them alone, but he had tagged along, and the moment your friends saw him, the mood shifted.

They hadn’t missed the telltale signs: the slight limp in your step, the fading marks along your neck barely hidden by your collar, and of course, the possessive way Jinwoo’s hand rested on your thigh the entire time.

“Oh my God, (Name), you’ve been busy, haven’t you?” one of your friends teased, leaning in with a grin.

You shot them a glare, face heating up as you tried to deflect. “It’s not—”

“Oh, it’s definitely what it looks like,” another friend chimed in with a knowing smirk. “When were you planning to tell us about this insanely attractive boyfriend of yours?”

Jinwoo’s hand squeezed your thigh slightly, as if in agreement with their assessment, his lips twitching with amusement, though he stayed quiet.

Your friends kept piling on, their teasing relentless. “You’re practically glowing! We knew something was up when you kept dodging our calls last week.”

You huffed, wishing you could just melt into the chair. Meeting them was a mistake. A big one.

“Anyway,” one of them said, waving off your protests, “since you’ve been keeping this little secret, we’ve decided for you. You guys are joining us on a couples’ trip next weekend. No excuses!”

“Wait, what?” you blurted out, eyes widening. “Couples’ trip? I—”

But it was too late. Your friends were already planning it out, excitedly discussing dates, locations, and accommodations. They even showed you the website of the camping site they had in mind—complete with cozy cabins, perfect for romantic getaways. It was absurd, and you opened your mouth to protest again, but Jinwoo’s quiet chuckle beside you sent a shiver down your spine.

“I think it sounds fun,” he said, his tone casual, but the look in his eyes told you exactly what he was thinking.

And that was how you found yourself roped into a couple’s trip.

---

A few days later, you were trudging through a forest, heading toward a cabin that was meant for “lovers”—according to the marketing brochures your friends had gleefully shown you. It had been a relatively peaceful day, with your friends and their partners chatting and laughing.

And as if fate couldn’t resist throwing more absurdity your way, a dungeon break occurred nearby. Just your luck.

You and Jinwoo were more than capable of clearing this dungeon while your friends struggled to set up camp. Jinwoo had taken care of the magic beasts with ease, and though you helped, it was clear that the two of you were functioning on an entirely different level. It was like a strange, dangerous couple’s date, where you fought off monsters instead of enjoying a romantic picnic.

Once the raid was done, the two of you rejoined your friends, who were none the wiser, completely oblivious to the destruction you had just prevented nearby. They were already by the fire, chatting and making s’mores as if nothing had happened.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop glancing at Jinwoo, feeling the weight of his gaze on you. That look in his eyes—predatory, intense—told you that this evening wasn’t going to end peacefully, no matter how much you tried to keep things normal.

Later, after your friends had all retreated to their own cabins, you found yourself standing awkwardly in the middle of yours, Jinwoo’s eyes never leaving you. His presence filled the space, making it feel smaller than it actually was. The two of you had been silent for a while, but you knew exactly where this was headed.

“Jinwoo…” you began, but the words stuck in your throat.

He was already stepping closer, his movements deliberate and slow. As usual, there was no need for words between the two of you.

Your breath hitched, your heart racing. You had known this was coming from the moment you agreed to this trip. Hell, you had known it since the dungeon raid, where he’d been sneaking glances at you the whole time, clearly eager to finish the fight so he could focus on you.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want him—you did, more than you’d care to admit. But this was... ridiculous. You had literally just cleared a dungeon, and now—

“You’re impossible,” you muttered, backing up toward the bed as Jinwoo’s hands found your waist.

He smirked, his voice low and dangerous. “And yet, you can’t resist me.”

Before you could respond, he pulled you against him, his lips crashing down on yours, and all your protests melted away as heat pooled in your stomach.

---

Hours later, the cabin was bathed in the soft glow of the early morning light, the quiet sounds of the forest outside filling the air. You lay on the bed, skin slick with sweat, your body aching in the best possible way. Jinwoo was beside you, looking comically refreshed, as if he hadn’t just spent the entire night ravaging you like a man possessed.

You, on the other hand, were starting to have an existential crisis.

You let out a muffled scream, covering your face with a pillow.

Jinwoo chuckled softly, pulling the pillow away so he could look at you, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your bare skin. “You love it.”

You shot him a look, exasperated but strangely satisfied. “You’re insatiable.”

His smirk deepened, his dark eyes gleaming with something dangerous. “Only for you.”

And the worst part? You did love it.

_____

Draft II:

You knew this was a bad idea. A very bad idea. Yet here you were, sitting at a cozy café with your friends, Jinwoo at your side, hovering in his usual subtle but unmistakable way.

It had been only a few days since that exhausting week you'd just survived with Jinwoo, and your legs were finally functioning again. You thought maybe a change of pace would help you clear your mind, escape this suffocating intimacy. Little did you know it would only drag you deeper into the mess you’d been trying to avoid.

At first, it had seemed innocent enough—a casual meetup, a chance to reconnect and breathe after being wrapped up in his world for so long. But the moment you arrived at the café, it became painfully obvious you had made a grave miscalculation.

Now, as you sat there, trying to enjoy a peaceful brunch, your friends’ teasing was just as relentless as Jinwoo’s gaze—both of which were burning holes through you.

“You look glowing today, (Name),” one of your friends chimed in with a mischievous smirk, clearly picking up on the awkward vibe between you and Jinwoo. She nudged you playfully, while her boyfriend leaned in with a knowing grin. “Is it just me, or does this feel like a post-honeymoon glow?”

"Oh! Should we be expecting wedding bells soon?"

You almost choked on your drink. Jinwoo, ever the master of composure, simply sipped his coffee beside you, acting as if he wasn’t responsible for every mark, every limp, and every damn second of the previous week’s exhaustion. His hand, however, was resting possessively on your thigh under the table, and you swore he tightened his grip at the word "honeymoon."

Jinwoo really looked as if he is considering the idea, leaning forward slightly, “Well...” Jinwoo’s voice was smooth, teasing, but you shot him a look so sharp he instantly backed off, a soft chuckle rumbling from his chest.

“Nope, definitely not just you,” another friend added, her eyes gleaming with amusement. “(Name), are you finally going to tell us why you’ve been MIA for days? Or should we just assume?”

You opened your mouth, desperately searching for an excuse, but nothing came out. What could you possibly say that wouldn’t make this worse? Jinwoo wasn’t helping either, his presence practically daring you to lie about where you had been.

“We’ve been busy,” he said casually, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “Right, (Name)?”

Your friends all shared knowing glances, their smiles growing wider with every second of your flustered silence. One of them even leaned in, whispering, “Busy, huh? I bet.”

You could feel your face burning. Meeting your friends was supposed to be a distraction, a way to regain some semblance of normalcy after Jinwoo had practically claimed you for a solid week. Instead, this brunch had turned into an interrogation, with your friends relentless in their teasing and Jinwoo not even pretending to let you off the hook.

“I didn’t realize this was going to be a couples brunch,” you muttered, trying to change the subject as you glanced around the table. Every single one of your friends had brought their partner, and somehow, you had been roped into this nightmare of a double date. “Seriously, guys, why?”

“Oh, don’t act like you didn’t want this,” one friend teased, leaning across the table with a wink. “You and Jinwoo are practically glued together these days. We figured you’d appreciate the company.”

Company? No, what you needed was a break, some air, some distance. But no, here you were, stuck in the middle of a couple's date with your overly-attentive not-boyfriend who had literally spent an entire week making sure you couldn't ignore him. The worst part? The teasing wasn’t the only problem. Jinwoo’s subtle touches under the table—the way his hand was lingering, the way his thumb traced small circles on your thigh—was doing nothing to help your composure.

“We thought it’d be fun,” another friend chimed in, oblivious to your inner turmoil. “You know, catch up, see how you two are doing... especially after your long disappearance.”

Jinwoo leaned in, his voice a low murmur just for you. “You didn’t tell them about us?”

You shot him a side-eye, the corner of his lips tugging upward in amusement. He knew exactly what he was doing. The bastard.

“No,” you hissed quietly, leaning away from him slightly. “Not like this.”

He chuckled, the sound low and dangerous, and suddenly you were very aware of how close he was. How possessive his presence felt. It didn’t help that your friends continued to pry, clearly enjoying how flustered you had become.

“So,” one of them asked, completely unaware of the tension building between you and Jinwoo, “what’s it like being official now? You two must be spending a lot of time together.”

Jinwoo’s hand moved higher on your thigh, and you nearly jumped out of your seat.

“(Name)’s been getting plenty of rest,” he said, completely unbothered by the chaos brewing inside you. “But she works hard.”

Your gaze shot to him, wide-eyed and mortified. He met your stare with an innocent smile that did nothing to mask the glint of mischief in his eyes. He was enjoying this—this game, this playful torture. And the worst part? Your friends were none the wiser.

“Jinwoo!” you scolded softly, but he just chuckled, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze.

You could feel your pulse quicken, embarrassment and exasperation mixing with something more dangerous. You were supposed to be here to relax, to enjoy some time away from all of this... tension. But no, Jinwoo had other plans, and apparently, your friends were unwitting participants.

One of your friends leaned in, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “So when’s the next couple's trip? Should we plan something fun, maybe a getaway?”

You groaned inwardly. A getaway? The idea of spending more time alone with Jinwoo in this relentless teasing atmosphere made your stomach twist. Not because you didn’t want to—God, did you want to—but because the last week had shown you what Jinwoo was capable of. And the last thing you needed was to be subjected to that level of intensity again in front of your friends.

“Maybe after some... recovery time,” you muttered, earning a few raised eyebrows from the group.

“Oh?” your friend asked, amused. “Need some recovery time, huh?”

You glared at her. “You have no idea.”

Jinwoo chuckled beside you, his hand moving slightly again, and you swore he was getting some twisted enjoyment out of watching you squirm. The thought was enough to make you grit your teeth and shoot him another pointed glare, though it only seemed to fuel his amusement.

“Well, whenever you’re ready for that trip,” your friend teased, “just let us know. We’d love to see more of this dynamic you two have going.”

You sighed, leaning back in your chair and trying to will away the blush creeping up your neck. Yeah, you really needed a change of pace. But clearly, this was not it. Not with Jinwoo sitting so close, his hand lingering on your thigh, and your friends blissfully unaware of the storm brewing under the table.

Maybe, just maybe, you’d avoid them next time. At least until you could figure out how to survive Jinwoo’s relentless attention without completely losing your mind.

End Note:

I want to try writing smut, already started some drafts, but can't bring myself to continue them due to embarassment.

So, here's a sneak peak through alternative scenarios--aftermath of what I dubbed for now, thee "Tangled Shadows"-Arc (which is *Spoiler Alert!*: 24 percent of (Name) having an existential crisis / 7 -ty six percent of Jinwoo being horny. I'M SORRY!)

The "Tangled Shadows Arc" will be a lot further into the story. So please, DON'T actively wait for it to be out, because it'll be torture what with my schedule now. 🥲

[darkeralmond]

cam cameron and the readers first time?

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST I LOVE U BAE!!

First Time

Cam Cameron x fem! Reader

synopsis: after your date with cam, things escalate when he decides to stay with you at your house

warnings: 18+, smut, first time sex, fingering

word count: 1.3k

a/n: I LOVE CAM SO MUCH!! i’m gonna need AE to come out with team cam shirts ASAP!! also spoiler alert for season 2 episode 4 BUT HAVE U SEEN JEREMIAH AND BELLY OH MY GOD THE HAND HOLDING CAUSED ME TO SCREAMMMM. TEAM JEREMIAH!! mark smut coming out soon!! (i hope)

masterlist | request info

“I can’t believe you beat me in ski ball,” you giggled as you looked over at Cam. “I’m like the reigning champion.”

He shrugged. “Turns out working at an arcade does come in hand sometimes.” You cracked a smile before letting out a snicker.

You were a debutante last year which is where you met Cameron. Both your guys' moms worked at the country club that hosted the ball. You would run into him often because of this. After a while, you developed a little crush on him and had asked him to be your escort since you didn’t have one.

It wasn’t until this year you actually decided to pursue something with him. You finally asked him out on a date and he picked the location, which was the arcade he worked at since he got a discount.

Cam had just dropped you off at your house and refused to let you walk up to your front door alone. He was truly a gentleman who was adorable and he knew it.

You grabbed your key out of your pocket and unlocked the door. “Can I come in and say hi to your mom?” he asked, peeking his head through the open door.

You giggled and looked back at him again. “No, my parents aren’t home.”

“Oh.” He then looked down at his phone, presumably checking the time before tucking it back into his pocket. “You sure you don’t want to come back to my house? I don’t want you to be here alone.”

You shook your head. “No, my dad wouldn’t like me going over to a boy’s house at night.” He nodded his head and flashed a quick smile, agreeing with you. “But you can stay here and keep me company!”

You didn’t even think twice about the offer, you just said it. His eyebrows raised slightly as his cheeks dusted a red tint. “Okay,” he gushed.

You let him into the house before shutting the door behind you two and locking the door. You watched as he admired the interior of the house, his mouth slightly hung open. “What?” you laughed.

“Nothing!” he said as he looked back at you. “Your house just looks like a beach house.”

“Well it is on the beach.” This won a chuckle out of him as he continued looking around. “You want a tour?” you asked as you walked up to him.

“Sure!” he answered as he nodded his head.

You grabbed his hand and led him around the entire downstairs. According to him, his favorite room was the living room due to the fireplace. You then led him upstairs and showed him every other room before leading him to your own room.

You opened the door and led him in. “Here’s my room. Sorry, it’s a little messy.” There was a t-shirt and a pair of socks lying on your unmade bed. You quickly took those off and threw them in your laundry basket.

At least your room smelled good because of the essential oils you had just purchased. “I like the vines on the wall,” he commented as he pointed at them.

You giggled, “Put them up myself.” You then plopped down on the bed and looked at him as he took in every corner of your room. “You wanna watch something? I can pull something up on my Mac.”

He nodded his head and sat down on the bed next to you.

…

You weren’t sure how it happened, but one thing led to another and now you were on top of him making out. You pulled away and looked down at him as his chest rose and fell with his heavy breaths.

“Have you done this before?” he asked. His eyes reminded you of a puppy. There was so much innocence in them and his lashes gave his eyes a more doe look.

You were tempted to lie and said you had, but staring into his eyes just poured the truth out of you. “Uh… no,” you answered. “Have you?”

“Nuh uh,” he said. You licked your lips and looked off to the side. “Do you… uh… want to?”

You looked back at him and hesitantly nodded your head. You could hear the beating of your heart in your ear, the silence between you two was deafening.

“Okay,” he breathed out. His hand met the side of your face before tucking loose strands of your hair behind your ear.

He smiled at you and gently leaned forward to capture your lips in his once more. You sighed against his lips, his touch sending chills down your spine.

Your hands slid up his shirt causing a groan to escape from his lips. He kissed you harder and deeper this time. You could feel his tongue poking at your bottom lip, hoping to meet yours. You let him do so, his tongue danced with his.

You felt his hands run up your shirt, his hands felt cold against your heated skin. It made you shiver a bit but you enjoyed every second of it.

You pulled away again and let him take off your shirt. He stared at your topless body, drooling over your figure.

You gasped softly, your breath hitching when his fingers brushed across your breasts. Your hips jolted as your nipples hardened beneath your bra.

“Fuck,” you whispered.

He noticed your reaction and stopped what he was doing. “Is this okay?” he asked. You nodded your head, leading him to cup your breasts again.

Him touching you felt nice, but you wanted to do more than that. You were just too nervous to ask. You didn’t want to obviously have full on sex, but you at least wanted him to do more.

Your face must’ve given that away because he asked, “What do you want me to do?”

“Uh,” you thought about it for a minute. “Can you… uh…” Your face turned bright red as embarrassment washed over you. “Finger me?”

His cheeks flushed crimson and his eyes widened. He pulled his finger away as he nodded. “Yeah,” he answered. You hopped off of him and laid down on the bed next to him.

His gaze softened and you gave him an encouraging grin. He swallowed hard before he slid his hand down your shorts.

Your breaths hitched as your eyes fluttered close. His fingers moved in a circular motion around your clit. You opened your eyes as you held back any sounds that may escape your lips.

He pulled you back into a kiss, it tasted like vanilla ice cream and mint toothpaste. He moved a little faster, rubbing your clit with his ring and middle fingers until you let a moan slip in his mouth.

He then inserted his fingers inside you, your wetness made it easier for him. Your back arched as you let out a louder moan.

His kisses became more frantic, almost desperate. Every time he moved his fingers or thrust into your depths you would squirm. A small whine left your mouth as your hips bucked upwards.

You finally pulled away since you needed to catch your breath. His fingers sent a wave of pleasure through you. “Cam,” you whimpered. His wet fingers pulled out of you and continued to massage your clit until you finally came undone.

Your whole body felt drowsy but still buzzing with excitement. When your orgasm had passed and your breathing returned to normal you rolled onto your side. “Do you want to do it again?” you asked him with a grin.

He nodded and crawled back on top of you, but before anything could escalate, the sound of jingling keys and the front door opened echoed through the house

“Fuck,” you mumbled. “My parents.” You rolled your eyes.

He chuckled, “Now I can say hi to your mom.” You rolled your eyes and pushed him off you.

[jade-jini]

My brain still has some g!p loser virgin Minjeong left so I need to keep talking do not shut me up.

(I need her deep in my *cars collapse*)

Ok clearly she ain’t a virgin anymore lmao but still she’s not experienced at all. You’re surprisingly patient with her:’) guiding her through the basics of it. She was very eager to learn how to eat you out. So when she first did it it was both messy but also so good. “So this is your clit, right?” She asked softly touching it with the tip of her finger, lying in between your legs nsfndk loser. “Yes. Remember what I told you?” “The more I stimulate it the better you feel?” “Good puppy. Do you wa- holy fuck Minjeong!” You couldn’t even finish and she was already licking it up and down 😭 like yeah it felt nice but she was being so messy and impatient you actually had to grab her hair and slowly guide her. Which ended up in you basically fucking her mouth. That day she was so focused on ONLY eating your pussy and using her fingers. She wanted to get better at it and make you proud :( so she kept going until the only reason you were grabbing her hair was because of how good she was making you feel.

“Is that good y/n?” She’d ask while looking up at you and smdnfk those puppy eyes I’m telling you. “So good puppy, you’re so good…” you’d moan while patting her head and that made her so happy.

Minjeong is such an impatient puppy when she’s inside you, so you teach her how to have a less erratic pace, grabbing her hips and guiding her when she’s the one on top, or fucking yourself on her cock when she’s behind you (which she loves even after she gets better). And of course, the more you fuck the better she got at not.. coming so fast dnndkd.

You can’t be too good and patient tho, you torture her a bit and that’s where cockwarming comes in the picture 😌( mainly the reason I wanted to continue writing shdjdjw). You’d take her home after class and since you’ve been teasing her all day, she assumes you guys are gonna have a lot of fun once you’re at your place and she’s so excited already lol. So when you explained to her that you were gonna watch a movie she was a little confused but, nonetheless was ok with spending time with you. Oh but poor thing.. didn’t know what was coming (spoiler alert: not her for a while). You guys were chilling at the sofa, when suddenly you started unzipping her pants which she willingly took off, silently grateful to know all that teasing wasn’t for nothing. When you also took yours off and slowly sat on her shaft, she was quick to grab you and start moving you up and down on it and Omg it felt so good you almost forgot what the plan was. Ah yeah- cockwarming. “Wait-Omg wait minjeong.” “Hm? what’s wrong y/n? Did I hurt you?” She asked worried and immediately stopped sndjdjf why did she have to be so cute all the time. “No no, but there’s something I want us to try today ok? Just stay still, don’t move.” And so she did. But you see, being inside you and not being able to move was so hard for her that not even 20 seconds went by and she was already asking you “w-what do I do now? When can I move?” “Once the movie is done. But you’re gonna go through the whole almost 2 hours without coming, ok?” “..What?!” She gulped. Wdym not coming?! What did she do? Jeongie didn’t understand if this was some type of punishment because nothing sounded crueler than that. You quickly turned around, now facing her and grabbed her face to softly explained to her that she didn’t do anything wrong. You used the excuse of “this will help you last longer”. And she doesn’t have the brain to fact-check on that so she just trusts you 😭. She just wants to make you feel good so she’ll do whatever you ask her for even if it was something as hard as this.

Ofc you didn’t make it easy for her tho. You didn’t only move a little bit throughout the movie, but also left little kisses and praise her from time to time. She’d only hug you closer to her and whimper, trying her best not to lose it. After a little more than an hour tho she was already begging you to please let her come lol and you almost gave in but no! She could hold it in a little longer. She wanted to prove she was your good girl right? So she better behave. Poor girl almost looked in actual pain, sobbing against your chest while she hugged you, whispering how good your pussy felt and how much she needed to come inside it and ughhhh- the rest of the movie was as painful for her as it was for you. Once it was over tho you made sure to reward her and ride her so good ‘till her legs were shaking dndkfnjd. (The pic of minjeong sitting down with that dark shirt-).

She gets touchy too 😳 whenever she gets horny she goes behind you and holds you by the waist, her hand dangerously getting closer to your boobs, but if it’s in public you just look at her, daring her to actually do it. Ofc, she doesn’t 😭 so she just groans and stays holding you. If you’re alone tho she will grab them and get your ass right against her already hard dick, silently begging you for some attention. When y’all fucking her hands will travel everywhere; from spanking your ass, to grabbing your legs, playing with your boobs, grabbing you by the neck 😩specially when she’s behind you, holding you closer and closer to her and you can be sure sometimes you’ll have marks on your skin.

teaching her not only how to pleasure you, but also teaching her things she could do while you’re both far from each other 🙊. A lot of phone sex. Making her masturbate for you either on FaceTime or simple call, talking her through it. If it’s regular call then you’d tell her to describe exactly what she was doing for you. She does it but gets so lost in pleasure she ends up mumbling and moaning. “Hmmgh y/n… I need you here.. I m-miss you so much.. please..”. Also controlling when she comes. Making her touch herself fast then slow then fast again and once you finally tell her to come for you she makes a complete mess in her hand. Telling her to clean it for you and to show you 😳 she looks so hot doing it it makes you fantasize about if you were the one with the dick and how you’d make her suck you off- I’m losing myself rn one second one second.

So yeah anyway girlie ends up becoming so good at fucking you 😳 and she’s so proud of herself.

“You’re such a good fucktoy, just mine. Aren’t you, puppy?”

“Yes y/n, only yours…”

[joojeans]

˚◞♡ ⃗ I Dare You Pt. 2

♡ Bestfriend!Fuma x Afab!Reader

♡ Summary: You’re sitting on the floor with your friends playing a juvenile game–truth or dare. Things have been spiraling out of control for some time now, but what happens when you’re dared to turn on one of your best friends without touching them? Can they handle it? Can you handle it? Spoiler alert: neither of you can. Find out how things go from seriously fucked up to seriously fucked, one member at a time.

♡ WC: 3.7k

♡ Content: mildly jealous fuma, finger sucking, fuma calling reader pet names, fuma calling reader good girl, reader is foaming at the mouth for fuma tbh (i get it), soft dom fuma, light fingering, unprotected sex (be smart), the actual intercourse is a very small part of this but that's how i wanted it <3

♡ PREVIOUS | SERIES MASTERLIST | NEXT

You lift your head from Euijoo’s shoulder at the sound of your name, eyes finding the mouth responsible almost instantly–Nicholas. He’s giving you the look: the one that says put your phone away and play with us properly. You give him a sheepish smile and slide your phone into your back pocket, sitting up straighter to convey I want to be here.

“It’s your turn, by the way.” 

“Oh.” Awkward.

“So, truth or dare?”

“Tru–” You stop yourself. The truth is usually easier, at least for you, but you feel a bit bad about not being as involved as everyone else, so you figure the riskier option might help make it up to them a little. It can’t be that bad, right? These are your best friends. “Uh, I mean, dare.” 

“Oh?” This time, Nicholas is taken by surprise. “Gimme a sec, I wasn’t prepared for you to actually pick dare.”

You nod, sitting back on one arm while your other hand mindlessly plays with the rips in Euijoo’s jeans. As if inspired by you, he does the same on his other leg.

Nicholas’s face is morphing between concentration, intrigue, and curiosity as he looks around the room. It seems like he’s hoping to be spoon fed the dare by one of the other guy’s faces, and while it doesn’t seem to happen quite like that, it does kind of work. 

“Okay, hear me out.”

Your stomach tenses at the words alone. Nicholas only prefaces things like that when he’s about to propose something your instincts will protest. “Nicholas.”

He holds his hands up in defense, a guilty smile playing on his lips. “Wait, wait. Just listen.”

You roll your eyes, your shoulders shrugging in surrender. Euijoo, Fuma, and K are all looking at Nicholas, certainly dying to know what he’s up to.

Nicholas starts carefully, the honey of his voice smoothing over any startling words. “It’s just that… I couldn’t help but notice that Fuma’s jaw was tense just now. Like, it was locked. And it was because he was watching you… with Euijoo.”

Every head in the room sans Nicholas cocks just slightly. No one seems to be privy to whatever Nicholas is talking about. You look at Euijoo, trying to put the puzzle pieces together for yourself, but he looks just as surprised as you. Your eyes scan him for any signs of you having done anything with him, though you know you haven’t. Then you realize.

Your fingers are still idly playing with the rip of his jeans. That’s it. It’s innocent enough, your fingertips only occasionally pushing inside of the material to lightly scratch at his skin, but you hadn’t even been totally conscious you were doing it.

“Wait. You’re saying this–” You motion generally to the jeans in question.

“Yes.”

You glance up, looking for Fuma. His jaw is definitely tense, but now it seems to be more out of annoyance than–what was it? Disgust? Jealousy?

You look back to Nicholas, still not sure what his point is and definitely sure you don’t want to annoy Fuma any further. “Okay, so what about it?”

Nicholas pushes his tongue into his cheek, a sly grin adorning his face as he prepares to finally reach the climax of this much-too-built-up dare. “I dare you to see how much more you can frustrate him. He seemed to want your attention, so why not let him have it? If you manage to turn him on, I’ll pay for your uber home.”

You only get a moment to process everything because Fuma is nudging Nicholas with his shoulder and muttering words you can’t hear. You’re worried that he’s uncomfortable even if it wasn’t you that started all this. You look from K to Euijoo, hoping that either of them will speak up, but they just look amused and confused, respectively.

Is Fuma really jealous? Does he think of you like that? You had never thought so, but you can’t exactly say you’d be complaining if he does. He’s Fuma. Handsome. Strong. Respectable.

“So are you saying you’re afraid to let her try?” Nicholas laughs. The conversation is finally audible to third party ears again.

Fuma clears his throat. “No. I’m saying that I don’t think it’s very fair to be putting her in that position.”

The atmosphere gets eerily quiet, awkward. You and everyone else know that you’re the only one that can speak for yourself. Strangely, you like having the upper hand like this. It feels like there are exciting possibilities with a handsome man that you’re now maybe starting to think about differently.

“I don’t mind, you know.” And you don’t.

The quietness carries on. Everyone needs you to elaborate.

“I mean, we’re all having fun here, right?” Everyone nods, albeit slowly. “And I could certainly use a free uber home later. So… why not? Unless you are opposed, of course.”

You plaster on a lighthearted, playful smile and it feels like the tension is slowly but surely being sucked out of the room. All four sets of eyes move to Fuma. His move.

“I can’t say that I was prepared for this, but… okay. Who am I to deny you an opportunity for a free ride, right?” His tone is equally playful and it relieves you. 

Relieves everyone, really. Now that all parties are seeing eye to eye, everyone can breathe.

“Well, have at it.” Nicholas motions you towards Fuma and you chew on your lip for a moment. This is probably going to be really fun for you, but you haven’t exactly thought it through. Still, the show must go on.

You carefully sit up until you’re squatting on your feet. You lean forward until your knees hit the floor, crawling hands and knees in Fuma’s direction. He’s watching you, seemingly unaffected as his eyes stay locked on you.

His back is resting against the sofa as he sits on the floor, feet planted, knees bent, forearms resting on his knees. His feet are far enough apart that you can just squeeze yourself between his legs. You do, your hands linking themselves with his as you sit on your knees. His head falls back just slightly on his shoulders, looking down his nose at you. His lips are parted just slightly and his eyelids are lowered, but he otherwise looks the same as he always does.

“Hi, Fuma,” you coo, batting your lashes sweetly.

“Y/n.” There’s a seriousness to the way he speaks, but he gives you a small smile that can only be described as adoring.

“I hear you were feeling a little jealous.” You mock pout, bringing one of his hands up to your face to nuzzle it. “Is that right?”

Fuma exhales an almost-laugh, tongue pushing into his cheek. “I don’t know if I would call it that.” The other guys can’t see it, but the hand that’s brushing against your cheek squeezes yours. It feels like validation that he does feel something for you, even if he hasn’t said as much.

“No?” You free both of his hands from yours momentarily, instead placing all of your focus on one of them. You open his palm with your fingers–his one hand needs both of yours to do this properly–and massage up to his fingertips. “Seemed like you didn’t really like what I was doing with my fingers.”

It’s barely noticeable, but Fuma’s breath catches in his throat briefly. You cock your head innocently, watching as the gears behind his eyes turn, trying to figure out your next move so he can beat you to it.

“I should make that up to you, right?” You press soft kisses upon each fingertip. “Show you I’m sorry for upsetting you like that?”

Fuma watches intently as your lips travel across each fingertip, between each knuckle. “I mean– You don’t have to–”

Saving him the struggle of finding the right words in this complex situation, you pull your head back just enough to straighten his fingers completely and suck his index and middle finger between your lips. You can hear a gasp from someone in the room, but it’s not Fuma. The only reaction he gives you is an almost imperceptible slackening of his jaw.

Unwavering, you let your tongue snake around and between his fingers, humming happily. You thought you’d have to fake that part a little bit, but now that you’re actually doing this, you’re really fucking enjoying it. Something about Fuma not giving into you so easily is making wetness pool in your panties. To be frank, you can’t think of anything else you’d rather be doing other than sucking on Fuma’s pretty fingers. Maybe this was supposed to be about seeing how much you could get to Fuma, but it seems like you’re getting to yourself more than anything right now.

Fuma lets you get carried away, mouth working his fingers the way they would his cock. There’s a slight burning in your cheeks knowing that other people are watching you, but you can’t care enough to stop yourself. Worse, you feel your heart skip a beat when Fuma reaches out to brush away the few strands of hair that found themselves stuck in the little pool of saliva on the corner of your lips. Fuck, even right now he’s a gentleman. 

You moan softly at the act of care, but it’s cut off by a second, surprised moan when Fuma presses his fingers down firmly on your tongue. You stop moving, eyes wide as you look at Fuma. He presses them down further until your mouth opens and your jaw forces apart. He just looks at you as you sit on your knees, mouth and jaw open for him, his fingers still pressing on your tongue. “Good girl.”

Oh fuck.

He removes his fingers from your mouth and wipes the saliva on your lips with his thumb. “Alright, that’s enough.”

You don’t know what to feel. Embarrassed? Maybe. Confused? Yeah. Turned on? Absofuckinglutely.

Nicholas speaks up before you can even begin to think of what to say. “Hey, you don’t get to decide when it’s over. Money is on the line here.” He’s half joking.

“I said it’s over. It worked. I don’t think you need to see the physical evidence.”

It worked?

In a move that would be extremely inappropriate on any other day, everyone in the room glances towards Fuma’s crotch. No one can be sure of anything based on the way he’s sitting, but considering he confirmed it himself, it seems that you were successful.

That’s great and all, but now you have to deal with the aftermath of all of your friends watching you act… like that. You have to change the subject immediately or you might die of embarrassment.

“Alright, Nicholas. Pull your phone out right now and send me the money you owe me.” You playfully toss your hair and retreat back to your spot next to Euijoo, hoping like hell everyone can forget what just happened.

Euijoo seems to stiffen a little when you sit next to him this time and you’re not sure if you love or hate that. Still, you rest your head against his upper arm, eyes trained on Nicholas to make sure he does what’s promised. He laughs when he realizes you very much meant right now and pulls his phone from his pocket.

“Don’t worry about it,” Fuma mumbles quietly to Nicholas. No one else hears him, but you’re hyper aware of him after… what just happened… so you do. Nicholas looks over at him, clearly confused, but Fuma explains himself. “Send her the money still, but I’ll take her home.”

Nicholas smirks.

-

You’re standing at the far end of the kitchen, head resting against the wall near the fridge. You’re ready to go home, but you don’t want to ruin the mood for everyone else by being the first to leave. Still, you decide to open uber and see how long it would take for a driver to come get you. As it goes, there’s a driver only five minutes away. Tempting.

“Should I grab my keys?”

You glance up from your phone to see Fuma standing at the other end of the kitchen. He looks calm and composed as ever. The way you feel looking at him could be considered anything but.

Silence hovers between you for several moments as you consider how to answer. Fuma never actually spoke with you about driving you home tonight. You’re pretty sure he doesn’t even know you overheard his hushed words to Nicholas. It seems bold for him to just assume you’d take him up on it, but then again… maybe not? You are friends. You seem to be forgetting that a lot tonight.

Still, you’re not an idiot.

“Yeah. If you don’t mind.”

With a nod, Fuma disappears into the living room. You mentally prepare for a ride home that is sure to be unlike any other.

He returns only a minute later, keys in hand. “I told them that we’re leaving and that you said goodbye. I hope that’s okay?” You nod. Your hero. You’re not in the right headspace for all the formalities tonight. Fuma offers you his arm and you hesitate, but you ultimately take it and walk out the front door with him.

The car ride is miserable. You’re both quiet and Fuma keeps asking if you’re feeling okay when you’re very much not feeling okay. Especially not when you’re watching the way his hand glides across the steering wheel effortlessly. Especially not when his other arm is propped against the driver’s side door, hand rubbing his jaw and lips. Especially not when you’re trying to not look at either of his hands and instead find your eyes trained on his lap, his muscular thighs looking all too inviting. It’s all you can do to not pounce on him in the middle of the highway.

Since when do you feel like this about Fuma?

Since approximately three hours ago.

You try like hell to shake it off and stare out your window instead. Safe.

When you pull up to your apartment, you expect to give Fuma an awkward goodbye hug and a thank you and then scurry away to hide yourself from him for the foreseeable future. That’s not what happens.

Fuma turns off the car and removes his keys. He steps out of the car and comes to your side to open it for you, arm protectively around your lower back as you let him guide you to your front door. You turn to face him then, eyes inquisitive.

“Well… goodnight? Thank you for the ride home. You really didn’t have to do that. I did get a free ride tonight, you know.” You laugh half-heartedly, mentally cursing yourself for bringing up anything even tangentially related to what happened between you tonight.

“You’re welcome. Are you going to open the door?”

You hesitate. Again. “Oh, uh… yes?” You unlock and push the door open, stepping just inside to say goodbye again. He just wants to make sure I’m safely inside before he leaves.

Nope. Fuma carefully nudges you further into your apartment so he can step inside as well, closing the door behind him. 

What is going on?

You look up to Fuma and cock your head, prompting him to explain himself. He smiles at you with a subtle confidence that makes you feel like you’d do anything to please him. “What?”

“I don’t understand what’s happening right now.”

Fuma chuckles, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Y/n. You couldn’t sit still the entire ride home. Did you think I couldn’t feel you staring at me?” 

He pauses in case you’d like to answer. You don’t. 

“Did you or did you not want me to come inside with you tonight?”

Well…

“Fuck, Fuma. I don’t know. Nothing about what I’m feeling or wanting tonight feels normal.”

He nods, taking your hand and walking you to your dining table. He sits in the closest chair and carefully maneuvers you onto his lap. You’ve sat in his lap many times before, but never like this–not straddling him, not with his face so close to yours. “Let me help you figure it out then, mm?” A pause for you to nod your agreement. “Did you like it when you thought I was jealous earlier tonight?”

You narrow your eyes. “You were jealous.”

“Not the point. Did you like it?”

“Well…a little bit, yeah. I don’t know why.”

“That’s okay. Did you like it…” His hand cups your face, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. Your body memory recalls him doing that to clean your own drool off of you only hours before and your cunt throbs. “...when you had my fingers in your mouth?”

“Yes.” You answer too quickly. You didn’t mean to do that.

Fuma’s lips quirk into a small smirk, humming his approval. “Do you want me to kiss you right now?”

Fuck it. If he’s going to ask you about every single feeling and desire, you might as well just be completely honest. 

“Fuma, if I’m being honest, I want you to do more than just kiss me right now.”

A brief flash of surprise reflects from Fuma’s eyes, but he never falters. He gathers your hand in his. “Is that so?” He places your hand over the button of his jeans. “Tell me what it is you want me to do then, angel.”

Your lips part in a silent gasp as you glance down. You can finally feel that he was affected by you even if he’s good at hiding it. Your hand tries to curl around the girth of his clothed cock, but his jeans are too thick and stiff. Your eyes flit back up to his, sparkling. You work on pulling his button loose and his zipper down as you speak, silently praying he doesn’t stop you. “I need to feel you inside me. Want you to make me cum.”

Fuma smiles, taking your hand away from his jeans and pressing a kiss against the back of it. “Using your words so well, yeah? That’s a good girl.” He laces his fingers through yours, free hand ghosting down to free himself from his jeans. 

You chew on your lip at the sight of his uncovered cock, mouth instinctively watering, but he doesn’t let you get caught up for too long.

“Lift up just a little for me.”

You do as requested and he frees the hem of your dress from under you at all sides before letting you sit back down. His hand slides up the top of your soft thigh, inviting itself between them. You whimper at the proximity before he’s even touched you and he playfully slaps your thigh. “So needy. Cute.”

His hand continues its journey, feeling the wet cloth of your panties for only a moment before pulling them to the side. He lets his long middle finger glide between your slick folds, licking his lips as he realizes how truly needy you actually are. “Must’ve been so uncomfortable sitting in your pretty panties like this all night.” He guides the hand he was holding to his shoulder and leaves it there. Understanding, you hold it and Fuma pushes his finger inside you, relishing the relieved moan you gift him.

“There we go. Feels so much better, mm?”

You nod somewhere close to frantically. “So good, Fuma. Want more.”

“Mhmm. I know.” He adds a second finger and slowly starts to scissor them, making sure you’re nice and open for him. His eyes are all over your face as it scrunches up in pure pleasure, his free hand rubbing your hip to soothe you. “Think you’re ready to sit on my cock, angel?”

“Sofuckingready,” you breathe out at once. You lean your body forward, your arms wrapping around Fuma’s neck. You rest your forehead against his while he takes advantage of your positioning, removing his fingers from you and angling his cock towards your entrance.

He hesitates. You feel rabid.

“Tell me you’re sure.”

“God, I couldn’t be more fucking sure. Please.”

His lips twitch into a small smirk. “I got you.” He inserts himself inside you with one hand, his other gently guiding your body down. Your eyelids flutter from the fullness of him, slowly stretching you open until you’re fully impaled on him. He feels better than you could’ve imagined and your eyes close, feeling like you’re in a wet, lucid dream.

Usually, you would take control of the situation–moving yourself up and down his cock at your will–but something about being with Fuma makes you feel small. Like you should be taken care of instead. Like you don’t have to lift a finger.

Seemingly, he feels the same.

Both hands on your hips, Fuma takes care of you. He rolls his hips up into your aching cunt, his hands aiding him by guiding you along his length. He asks almost nothing of you, all too happy to single-handedly provide you both what you’ve been craving. He watches as your head slips back on your shoulders, your jaw slack from the blissful pleasure of him.

“There you go, angel.” His voice is solace. “Hold onto me.”

Your fingers curl into either side of his shoulders, doing your damnedest to keep yourself up. The room is eerily quiet–only the sounds of your slick, Fuma’s praises, and your soft exhales peppering the air. Despite how urgently you felt you needed this, everything about it is tender. The way he holds you, moves you, fucks you–it feels like love.

And maybe it is. You’ve always loved each other. Just…never like this. 

Or maybe you didn’t know it was like this.

You’re not sure how long you carry on like this. You feel dazed, suspended in a beautiful haze with Fuma. Even your orgasm feels careful, gradually building until it takes over you, flooding your body with warmth and dopamine and oxytocin, flooding Fuma’s lap with a thank you. You don’t realize he also found release until you slowly blink your eyes back open to see the remnants of pleasure etched onto his face.

You smile at each other weakly, fondly. You lean your forehead against his once more, the two of you catching your breath in tandem. You feel his lips moving within centimeters of yours.

“Let’s go to bed.”

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

High Infidelity

Regulus Black x f!reader, Sirius Black x f!reader (mentioned)

warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, slight mention of fingering, underage drinking, cheating sorry guys i couldn’t stop myself

summary: your boyfriend sirius and his friends have never felt welcoming. but his little brother is…

word count: 5.3k

a/n: once again i’m bad at summaries so basically you fuck regulus spoiler alert hahaha. inspired by taylor swift of course. she’s been inspiring too much smut from me tbh. anywaysss. hope you enjoy (my sneaky link “broke up” w me today and i’m devastated) so here’s this !!!

~~~

April 20, 1978

“That’s precisely what I was thinking Moony!”

“Are you sure Padfoot? I got the understanding that it was you and Prongs who shared thoughts.”

“I second that.”

“Honestly I believe if James didn’t have Lily, you blokes would be together.”

“Definitely.”

“Well, Sirius also has y/n as well.”

You felt the boy beside you brush your shoulder with his, and you gave him a smile. “Oh, yes.”

The conversation continued, but you zoned out once again. You played with the vegetables on your plate and tapped your foot. Anxiety was a common thing you felt during meals with your boyfriend and his friend group. They were wonderful, but you always felt they had something secretly against you.

You were a year younger than your boyfriend, you were in Slytherin, you were pureblood, and you were cordial with the other members of your house. You weren’t stupid enough to believe the Marauders didn’t suspect something bad of you, or the Gryffindor girls. Some of them were muggle born and while you didn’t care much for blood purity, you could tell they thought you did.

When you and Sirius had begun dating a few months earlier, you were far from oblivious to the initial disapproval of his friends. You could see the skeptical looks Lily would share with her friends; you could hear the small whispers in classes. It didn’t bother you at first, in fact, you understood their distrust. You thought it would go away with time. But by the end of your second month dating their friend, you realized it was never going to change.

Your relationship with Sirius in short was far from perfect. You liked him, of course, and he liked you. However, it was clear neither of you saw it lasting forever. Deep in the corners of your mind, you’d thought it that before, a life with the infamous Sirius Black. You imagined the two of you would get your own flat after you graduated, you’d be shunned of course by your family, but it wouldn’t matter because you’d have him. Realistically though, you knew that life would never be possible. If he didn’t care enough to tell you why he sneaks off on full moons, if he didn’t care enough to let you in on jokes, if he didn’t care enough to even assure his friends fully that you weren’t like the rest of your house, you’d never have a life with him.

Without thinking about it, your eyes drifted across the great hall to a certain person in your house. He sat straight with a smile on his face as he conversed with his mates. A piece of his hair was in his eye, you watched as he brushed it away. You always wondered why people said he wasn’t as good-looking as his brother. He was just as handsome in your opinion. He was tall, his eyes were starry, and his black curls were never frizzy. His accomplishments spoke for themself. Top of the year, star seeker for Slytherin, prefect, he was the ideal boy. His only flaw in your eyes was his obsession with Voldemort and blood purity. Though your family and his were close in that aspect, you never cared much for the topic. He did though.

Suddenly, his eyes met yours. You watched his smile falter for a few seconds and a different expression formed. You looked away quickly, your cheeks turned pink. That wasn’t the first time you’d been caught staring at Regulus Black during dinner. It was far from it.

~~~

That night you sat alone by the fire in your common room. You’d been invited up to Sirius’s dorm with a promise that the other Marauders wouldn’t be there, but you declined. Sirius was a great shag; it would be impossible for him not to be with how many girls he’d been with. Truthfully, you didn’t like the number of girls that came before you, but you never said anything. You simply weren’t in the mood that night for any more patronizing looks, so you opted to silently work on homework instead.

After some time of working, the door opened. You instinctively looked up and found your pulse quicken as you were met with the beautiful eyes of Regulus Black. He was with his friends, Barty Crouch Jr, and Evan Rosier, but his eyes were on you. You looked down at the sheets of paper in your lap and pretended to not notice the sound of Regulus telling his friends to go up to their dorm without him. When they left though, you were forced to drop the act.

“I thought you’d be up in the Gryffindor tower with all your blood traitor and mudblood friends,” he said after taking a few steps closer to you.

You swallowed and kept your eyes on your paper. “I wasn’t in the mood, and they aren’t really my friends.”

“Really? Y/n you’re shagging my brother I’m not daft.”

He was slowly getting closer; you could see his shoes in your peripheral vision. You subconsciously held your breath. You kept your composure as well as you could.

“Great observation Reg, not as if the whole school knows that. And besides, since when have you cared about that?”

“I always care when someone with blood as pure as yours taints it with someone like my blood traitor brother,” he replied as if it were obvious. “Plus, if you have forgotten I’ve caught you staring at me at least a dozen times within the past month.”

Your cheeks turned bright red. “About that-”

“Look at me.”

His sudden authority made a warm feeling spread in your stomach. Slowly, you lifted your head to look up at him. He was close, barely a foot away. There was an expression on his face you once again couldn’t fully understand. You watched him examine your blushing face in silence.

“Go on then, explain yourself,” he said after a few seconds.

“I didn’t mean to; it was just an... accident,” you mumbled, your eyes moving around the room as you spoke.

Regulus tisked and without warning bent down slightly and gently touched his fingers to your chin. You were speechless. “I prefer to be looked at when spoken to y/n it’s a sign of respect. Can you do that?” You nodded and he moved to his previous position of standing. “Continue.”

“Like I said it was an accident, I sort of space out a lot and I guess my eyes go back to our table,” you continued. You stared in his eyes the entire time as your heart began to beat in your ears.

“I would’ve believed that if it had happened only once or twice, but this has been quite a few times. What is Sirius not fulfilling you enough?”

“No, it’s nothing like that he’s great I just... I dunno. You’re just...” You found it hard to speak with his eyes on you. “I dunno all right? Let’s just forget it’s ever happened yeah?”

It was the truth. You really didn’t know what it was that made you stare at him. It was just something. He fascinated you with his complexity. Sirius was outgoing and popular, but Regulus was closed off and reserved. He’d only had one known girlfriend in Hogwarts, he only talked to his friends, and he was mysterious. He was the opposite of his brother. And you found it perplexing.

“If you say so,” he spoke after a moment. Then he turned and started to walk toward the staircase to the boy's dorm. But before he was too far, he looked back at you with a sliver of a smirk. “You can talk to me though, if you need to. You don’t have to simply stare because my brother is insecure.”

He disappeared up the stairs before you could reply. And you spent the rest of the evening with his words replaying in your head.

~~~

April 22, 1978

You sat at lunch; Sirius’s arm was draped over your shoulders, and he shook as he laughed hysterically at something James said. You tried to put on a fake smile, but you weren’t sure how convincing it was. There was something about the way Sirius held you that made you feel off. You felt almost trapped. You felt as though you were being tested or put on display.

As if it was a sixth sense, your eyes looked at the one table you’d been purposely avoiding. He was already looking at you, it caused your breath to catch in your throat. For a few seconds, the two of you stared at each other, what felt like a mutual feeling of understanding was communicated through your eyes. So, when he nodded to the doorway you understood completely what he wanted. And you agreed.

“I’ve got to run down to my dorm I just remembered I forgot my essay for McGonagal.” You made up an excuse. From across the hall, you noticed Regulus already walking toward the exit. “I should go get it before class.”

Sirius dropped his arm from your shoulders and smiled. “You’re too forgetful y/n/n, but be quick I was hoping to get a quick snog in before that dreadful class.”

“Right, I’ll be as quick as I can,” you said as you stood up. You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, ignoring the eyes that were on you. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

“I could never!” He exclaimed as you began to walk away.

Truthfully, you weren’t too sure of where Regulus went. You relied on the gut feeling in your stomach to guide you. With anxiety and anticipation flowing through your body, you made your way down a few halls before you found an abandoned classroom. The door was open a sliver, and somehow you knew it was the one.

He was inside, leaning on one of the desks with his arms crossed over his chest. “Close the door.”

You didn’t hesitate to listen to his request. Once it was closed you turned back to face him. “I don’t... I don’t really know what to say.”

“You looked like you needed to escape, you don’t have to talk,” he replied. His face was almost soft. “Am I the only one who knows how you feel?”

“You don’t know how I feel,” you mumbled.

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Just because you haven’t told me doesn’t mean I can’t read your face. It’s almost unbearable how miserable you look while you sit there. Why do you do it?”

You only stared at him, almost starstruck. Has he always been so observant? Or was your pain noticeable? You didn’t know what came over you, but you only acted on it. Before you could stop yourself, you moved across the room until you were barely a foot away from him. Regulus has always been perceived as cold and rude, but in that moment, he looked at you with sincerity no one could deny. Regulus knew you. That was all it took.

Without another thought you grabbed his tie and crashed your lips on his. His lips were soft and warm. Unlike his brothers, Regulus’s lips didn’t feel as though they’d been kissed thousands of times. He felt far less welcoming but nevertheless inviting. But your senses came flooding back fast and you pushed yourself away from him.

You stepped back and covered your burning lips with your hand. “Oh my... I’m- I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have. Fuck I’m terrible.”

“Y/n-”

“No, I can’t do this. I have to go.” You cut him off as you began to move to the door, tears forming in your eyes.

The last thing you heard was Regulus calling your name before you ran down to your dorm.

~~~

April 23, 1978

He was watching you. You could feel his eyes burning into you through every class and meal. Is that how he felt all those times you’d stared at him? It was uncomfortable, to say the least. You tried to pretend he wasn’t, you really did. But it was nearly impossible. You made sure you were accompanied by Sirius or one of your other friends throughout the entire day until you weren’t.

You were just running to the bathroom. You thought it would be quick enough for him to even notice you slipped out of class. It was stupid of you to think that. Just as you were about to enter the girl's bathroom, you felt a hand grab one of your wrists to stop you.

“You can’t avoid this y/n,” he said softly.

You inhaled sharply, refusing to look at him. “Let me go Regulus.”

“I don’t care about what happened and I’m not going to tell on you if that’s what you’re worried about,” he replied quickly.

“Then what do you want? I just- it was a mistake all right?” You felt your heart pounding in your chest. His hand was still on your wrist, your skin practically burned from the contact.

“Look at me.” His voice was hard. You turned slowly to look at him. His expression was soft, he looked almost... worried. “I know we’ve never been that close, but I suppose I’m now involved in your issues. You can talk to me; I want you to talk to me. You can’t keep all of whatever you’re feeling built up inside. It’ll only make you act out impulsively like yesterday.”

You let out a shaky breath. “It was a mistake. It should have never happened I was just... overwhelmed.”

“I know. And I don’t blame you.”

You hated how he said just the right words to make you fold completely.

“They don’t trust me. Even your brother. They seem to think I have some deep plot or that I want to murder the muggle-borns. It’s just... it’s too much Reg. I hate being constantly watched, it’s like they’re waiting for me to make a wrong move that proves their theories.”

“So, why don’t you leave?”

His question caught you off guard. Why didn’t you leave? You hadn’t really thought about it. Sure, you knew that you and Sirius were going to end eventually. But you hadn’t given much thought to how it would occur. Perhaps a mutual agreement? You didn’t know. And you told Regulus exactly that.

“Well, then it’s your fault you feel this way,” he replied.

You scoffed and pulled your wrist from his grip. “Thanks, Reg, you really know how to cheer a girl up.”

“Do you want me to lie and say it’s not your fault? Sorry, I’ll give it another go. It’s not your fault at all y/n, you’re being forced to be around my blood-traitor brother and all his mud-blood friends.” His voice was cold, but for some reason, it didn’t make you feel small. “Was that better?”

“Listen I know I have the choice but it’s just... it’s hard when you care about someone,” you said, ignoring his question.

He sighed and shook his head. “If leaving isn’t what you plan on, then I suppose you’ll have to settle on talking to Sirius about how you feel. I assume you haven’t done that yet?” You shook your head, and he rolled his eyes. “Then talk to him and see if maybe that helps.”

“But what if-”

“If he reacts badly then you break up with him, it’s not that hard to comprehend y/n. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to return to our class, so no one gets any more suspicious.” He cut you off.

You were left outside the girl's bathroom with your mind racing, and your wrist still tingling where Regulus had held it.

~~~

April 25, 1978

It took you over a day to muster up the courage to follow through with Regulus’s suggestion. No wonder you weren’t in Gryffindor. The opportunity for you to speak with Sirius alone came after lunch when the two of you had a free period. As usual, you spent most of the time up in Sirius’s bed. So, as the two of you laid next to each other, spent from another good time, you decided it was a good time to bring up how you felt.

“Sirius,” you spoke softly. Your head was on his chest, your fingers drawing circles on his skin. “Can I talk to you about something?”

“’ Course love, anything,” he replied sweetly.

You inhaled deeply and kept your head down. “We’ve been seeing each other for a decent amount of time now and I’ve enjoyed it very much, but it’s just...” You swallowed. “Your friends... they don’t accept me.”

“How do you mean?”

“Come on, don’t you see how they treat me? They always give me these looks; they whisper about me. I’m sure they’ve all voiced their concern about me to you,” you answered.

“They don’t mean it to make you feel bad, they just you know... Lily is muggle-born, and so is Mary.”

“I’m aware of that. That has nothing to do with me, you should know I don’t care about blood status.”

“Well yes but your house, the people you are friends with, they care. You can’t blame my friends for being weary.”

You sat up and looked at Sirius, suddenly full of anger. “I am not like the other people in my house, and it’s hypocritical for them to judge me based on that. Have I ever proven myself to be anything like the other Slytherins?”

“No, but-”

“But nothing Sirius. I’m not like them, and it hurts that you don’t even bother to make your friends believe that.” You cut him off. You got off his bed and began to gather your clothes. “It’s clear I’m not welcome here.”

“Y/n-”

You began to button your shirt. “No Sirius it’s fine, I understand. I thought you Gryffindors were supposed to be welcoming, I suppose that assumption was wrong too.”

Just as you were about to bend down to retrieve your tie, you felt Sirius’s warm hands on your hips. Instinctively, you turned to look at him. He stared up at you with a frown on his face. You hated how perfect he still looked with such a sour expression.

“You’re right, I should advocate for you more. I’ll do that from now on. You are nothing like the other Slytherins, you’re perfect y/n. I’m sorry for not catching on to this sooner.” His words were sincere, you could tell. It made your anger subside.

“Thank you,” you said, a small smile on your lips.

“Now, can you get back into bed for a little longer?” He asked.

You nodded with a chuckle and slid back beneath the sheets. Though you felt relieved and happy at the outcome of your conversation, you couldn’t help but think about what Regulus’s reaction to the news would be.

For some reason, you knew he wouldn’t be pleased.

~~~

April 26, 1978

His eyes searched your face; you tried your hardest to keep your expression neutral. The two of you were up in the astronomy tower, the glow of the moon and stars your only source of light. You didn’t know why you felt almost ashamed telling him about the conversation you had with Sirius. Something deep within you knew the outcome wasn’t what the younger Black brother wanted.

“I’m a bit confused,” he said after a moment of silence.

“What about?”

“If the conversation truly went as you say it did, why aren’t you happy?”

“What do you mean? I am happy. I think I even saw a bit of improvement today,” you answered honestly.

Regulus only shrugged and turned to look off the balcony. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“I really am happy Reg this is what I wanted. Now they won’t be so judgmental and perhaps I’ll start to finally feel welcomed,” you replied.

You stared at him for a minute. The soft glow of the moonlight illuminated his features in a way you’d never seen before. He was handsome. With his sharp jawline, his dark curly hair, and his prominent cheekbones how could he not be handsome?

Eventually, he turned his eyes back to you, and for a split second, your breath caught in your throat. There was something intense in his light eyes that you couldn’t decode. It made heat rush straight to your face.

“All right, if that’s what you want,” he said. “See you around.”

With that, he left. And you almost followed him, almost.

~~~

April 27, 1978

Something was wrong with you. Very wrong.

You couldn’t stop thinking about the one boy in Hogwarts you really shouldn’t have been thinking about. It was wrong, especially in the way you were thinking about him. You tried to distract yourself in every way you could. With your friends, with Sirius, with schoolwork. But nothing worked.

Perhaps it was the intense dream you’d had the previous night that kept your mind wandering. After all, who could simply brush off an intense sexual dream about their boyfriend's brother? It made you blush and feel ashamed each time it crossed your mind throughout the day. And when you saw Regulus around the school, you almost fell apart.

It was as though a switch had been flipped inside you. Gone were the innocent friendly thoughts you had about the younger Black brother. They were replaced by awfully inappropriate ones.

But you were determined to make them vanish. Because to act on such thoughts would be terrible.

Right?

~~~

April 28, 1978

Avoiding Regulus was hard given he was in almost all your classes, and he shared the same common room as you. But you tried your hardest. You spent the day clung to Sirius as much as you could, despite the fact you were upset with him. Being around him meant being away from his brother. That was the important thing.

Things between you and Sirius’s friends had not changed much. You wondered if he had even said anything to them. If he did, it didn’t seem like it. It hurt you, but it didn’t occupy your thoughts as much as it previously had.

Actually, it made you realize something you were too afraid to admit.

Regulus seemed to care more about your feelings than your boyfriend.

That thought scared you. And it only made your improper thoughts about him grow.

~~~

April 29, 1978

You sat up in the Astronomy tower with your legs dangling off the balcony, a bottle of firewhiskey beside you. For the first time in months, you couldn’t deal with your thoughts without a substance. Luckily your boyfriend had a stash of alcohol and was able to spare you a small bottle. So, you took it with a big thank you and practically ran up to the tower. You needed to clear your head. You needed to escape.

There was a slight breeze, it made you clutch your robe tighter around your body. The alcohol helped too. You took another swig, a sigh escaping your lips at the feeling. You liked the way it made your chest warm, and how it made the thoughts of Regulus fade.

Suddenly, you heard footsteps. You gathered the bottle into your robe but remained seated. Whoever it was, they’d catch you anyway. There weren’t many hiding spaces in the tower. So, you prepared for an angry Filch to scold you.

“I figured you’d be up here, your roommates said they hadn’t seen you, neither did my brother.” The gentle voice of the boy you were trying to avoid spoke.

You whipped your head around fast, your mouth hung open slightly. He was only a few feet away from you, and still getting closer. “You talked to him about me?”

“Told him we have a project together and he still wasn’t very welcoming. I see why you feel out of place now,” he answered as he lowered himself to sit beside you. “Care to share any of that with me?”

“Since when do you drink Mr. Prefect?” You questioned skeptically.

He shrugged. “I’ve indulged before, is that surprising? I am almost of age you know.”

“You just don’t seem like the type that’s all,” you replied honestly. You removed the bottle from under your robe and handed it to him. “I’m a bit ahead of you though.”

Regulus didn’t reply. Instead, he popped the cap off the bottle and took a few swigs. You watched carefully, unable to hide your smile when his face scrunched up from the bitterness. Even then, he was still beautiful.

“Wine is much better than this,” he said after a minute as he handed the bottle back to you.

You nodded. “Taste wise, yes, but this gets you drunk much faster.”

“Is that what you want? To get drunk?”

You nodded again and took a swig from the bottle. He had a point, firewhiskey tasted awful. But you needed it, especially since Regulus had caught you alone and even more because he looked far too good in the moonlight.

“I thought things were going to get better with my brother,” he spoke.

“I thought so too but it seems he isn’t good at keeping his word,” you replied with a frown.

Regulus chuckled and took the bottle again. “Well look at him, he’s a filthy blood traitor, what do you see in him?”

“He’s kind, outgoing, very fun to party with, and of course one of the most handsome boys in the school,” you answered. You couldn’t help but smile when Regulus rolled his eyes. “None of that matters though. We’ll be splitting up soon.”

“Yeah?”

The hope in his voice was undeniable. It made your heart rate quicken.

“Yeah. He’ll be leaving school soon and we never really planned to last this long anyway so it only makes sense that we’ll be splitting.”

As he handed you the bottle back, your fingers brushed. You held in your breath, your mouth suddenly felt dry, and a tingle began in the small place where his skin met yours. Your eyes met again and from the way his starry eyes suddenly appeared darker you knew he felt what you did.

You should’ve looked away. You knew you should’ve. You’d like to blame the alcohol for the way you felt, but Regulus Black had proven himself to be more magnetic than any boy you’d ever met so there was no use excusing it. So, despite the fact it was wrong, you didn’t move when he started to lean closer.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, his voice quieter than before.

“I’m sure you are,” you replied. He was close, his lips only inches away from yours.

“Why’s that?” He asked.

His eyes were so beautiful, you could barely focus on the words that came out of his mouth. “Because you...”

Your eyes fluttered shut and you felt his soft lips brush against yours. He was so gentle; you could barely even feel him. And after only a few seconds he pulled back. Your eyes remained closed.

“Because I’m...?”

“Reg, don’t make me ask you.”

“Oh, but I want to hear it so bad.”

“Just shut up and kiss me already.”

He didn’t hesitate to fulfill your request and soon enough he was kissing you with an intensity you weren’t sure you ever felt before. One of his hands fell to your waist, his fingers quickly untucking your shirt from your skirt. You let your fingers run through his curls as you’d imagined doing so many times over the previous days.

When he pushed you back and urged you to lie down, you did it. When he pushed your knees apart and slid between your legs you didn’t protest. It was terrible, you were cheating on your boyfriend with his little brother. But at that moment no thoughts could even register in your head. All you could think about was how good Regulus’s body felt against yours and how good he was at kissing.

Perhaps things moved faster than they should’ve. Perhaps they should’ve never moved in that direction to begin with. Either way, within only a few minutes both of your robes were discarded and one of Regulus’s hands was between your thighs. His lips remained on yours as he toyed with you, his soft kiss engulfed each of your moans. You traced your fingertips up and down his back, your hand under his shirt. He was soft but rough, he was perfect.

“I want you,” he suddenly whispered against your lips.

Your eyes opened, he pulled back a bit, and your eyes met his. He didn’t stop his fingers; you could barely think of what to say. “I want you too Reg.”

“Right now?” He asked.

“Right now,” you assured him breathlessly.

You watched him fumble with his belt for a few seconds before he distracted you with another kiss. He was intoxicating, to say the least. Every one of your senses was flooded with Regulus Black. The scent of his cologne, the feeling of his hands under your skirt, the taste of the firewhiskey he’d previously drank, the sound of his shallow breath, the brief glimpses you stole of his pretty face, it was almost too much for you to handle.

Once his belt was finally undone you felt him shift and you knew what was to come. You didn’t think of stopping him for a second. Instead, you threaded your fingers back in his black curls and held him tighter. He pushed your panties to the side and without warning began to slowly push his cock inside you.

You bit down on his lip, your back arched off the floor, and your thighs squeezed around him. He didn’t stutter with his movements and began to thrust in and out at a pace that made your head spin and your insides warm.

After a few minutes, he began to trail his mouth down your neck, the sensation making it impossible for you to stay quiet. You gripped one of his biceps with your hand and your eyes squeezed shut as he fucked you. He was careful despite the heat of the moment, however. You were silently grateful. No marks would be left on your skin.

“Reg,” you moaned. “Fuck Reg.”

He staggered for a moment. “Are you okay?” The vibration of his voice on your skin made you almost moan again.

“Yes, yes. Please don’t stop,” you whimpered.

It would be impossible for you to know exactly how long it went on. But by the time it was over, you felt no effects from the alcohol you’d drank before. You came hard, arguably harder than you’d ever come in your life. Regulus did something to you that you couldn’t understand. So, when he asked if it was ok for him to finish inside you said yes.

The two of you laid next to each other in the aftermath, a few inches between your bodies. Sweat covered the inside of your shirt, and another substance leaked between your thighs. You only stared at the ceiling and the stars above as you steadied your breathing.

“I won’t tell,” Regulus said after some time.

“Thank you,” you replied quietly. You were still in a daze; your mind couldn’t process what had just occurred. You sat up, your back was already starting to ache. “I should go.”

From the corner of your eye, you saw Regulus sit up too. “Yeah, you should.”

You slid your robe over your arms and straightened out your tie and shirt. Before you stood, you made sure to grab the bottle of firewhiskey and conceal it under your clothes. You looked down at Regulus briefly, he was already looking at you. It made your face heat up.

You gave him a weak smile. “I’ll um... I’ll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

You escaped before anything else could be said and raced down to your dorm.

The whole night you tossed and turned in bed, your head full of thoughts that would not let you sleep. You cheated on Sirius. With his brother. It was almost unimaginable. You’d never thought of cheating before, it never crossed your mind. But there you were a cheater.

You just hoped Sirius wouldn’t ask where you were on April 29th.

Because he really wouldn’t want to know.

[belovedivies]

Heyyy I love the killer Peter writing that you do it’s amazing🤩

Could I request relationship head canons for Peter like you did for Raphael but this time reader is an assassin like him

peter relationship headcanons

a/n: i'll be taking requests again now that i'm done with midterms (spoiler alert i got my ass beaten :3). this came out a little too long and specific for a hc but i plan to flesh this out on another oneshot- anw, enjoy anon!!! cw: minor spoiler, pre-canon, brief canon-typical cruelty wc: 1.26k m.list

IDEA

You met on neutral ground, mainly because his friend just wouldn’t shut up about this cute girl a few rooms down the hallway. You were three years older than Simon then, with a stature shorter than Peter himself.

Glory Club’s foundation is three things: violence, money, and ego. Assassins were pitched against each other on a daily basis, risking their lives to climb to the top where the Apostles rightfully resided. Where jealousy burnt red hot and became a driving force for success, the flame in you had long died out. Peter stared sometimes, and in your eyes, an ocean of arctic iciness stared right back.

He didn’t think much of it. He couldn’t begrudge anyone for it either. The paycheck was nice, and so was the control, the chokehold over others. Peter had and would play the part of an obedient puppet on strings to this organization as long as he drew breath, and as long it benefited them. Wouldn’t you do the same too? Downed a pill, cracked a skull, tossed and turned in a dusty corner later on because the dried blood felt so uncomfortably sticky on your nape, the scream of agony fresh on your mind. It wasn’t the nicest job out there, but it was for survival. A better cause. And Peter had thought about it rationally; he just owed that much to Father Gabriel.

It did get a little more complicated when you got roped in with them. Peter’s apathy had been evident while you stayed painfully austere, and Simon… was just trying his best to get both of you to talk. Five minutes in and a few hours after that afternoon, he couldn’t fathom why his comrade had thought it was a good idea for them to spar with not just a B-rank killer, but one whom neither of them had ever talked to.

OUTLINE

You really hated your job. Anyone would, at some point in their life.

Solo missions were a norm for Peter—things always worked out smoother and faster for the guy when he was on his own. On the rare occasion, he did get paired up with another person. Sometimes his fellow Apostles, the others a far too prideful assassin who chewed more than they could bite. But today there was you. And there wasn’t anything to go about besides a few surface-level exchanges and the silence in between. He couldn’t begrudge you. It’s only for survival.

A hit to the jugular and the job was done. Once out cold on the ground, the body wasn’t his responsibility anymore. Still, the boy watched with some amount of interest when you picked up the knife and poked around their insides. He left to light up a cigarette, took three brief puffs, and went back to the bedsheets covered in blood with the corpse nailed against the wall.

Sadism wasn’t intentional, but it was a running theme among the ranked Glory Club killers. The only collar made of metal and swine that bound them together by the neck. That you were so deep into the pit of insanity, you either shut off your emotions completely or learned to love the carnage.

Death reeked in every corner of the room, yet it was in you that Peter could tell the scent the clearest. You were there, so strangely out of the place, knees pulled tight against your chest. The look on your face was downright miserable.

When Peter made his way closer to inspect the scene, you tilted your head up to meet his face. The knife slipped, the moon shone, the rain tapered. Then you blinked, which was already so rare in itself. And Peter had blinked too, eyes widened, lips parted open just a fraction in surprise as tears welled up in your eyes. You sobbed and wept your dying heart out all the way until the cleanup crew showed up at the motel. One old lady, grey hair and croaked voice, held you in her arms. Months later when Peter finally asked again, he learned that it had hardly been the first. 

FIRST DRAFT

Just down the road, past the cut of dense trees leading to a lonely seashore, there was an orphanage tucked away from the hustle and bustle of Seoul. The kids always waved whenever Peter passed by during his morning run, a gesture that he had returned with equal warmth. Twice a week, the courtyard was lit up with colorful string lights and music, the mouth-watering scent of food wafting through the night air.

He had seen you outside of the Cathedral before, but not like this. The gentle fluorescents accentuated your features with a certain softness, like marshmallow, like the sea breeze carding through his hair. And you had talked, had smiled, had laughed along with them, had stared at Peter with eyes wide as saucers when one of the caregivers invited him in. You were in an apron with the children clung to your waist, vying for an ounce of your attention. It was a week after the mission and you two had rarely crossed paths. 

Peter wondered if you resented him for it; serving him a rather generous portion of seafood barbecue while dodging teasing comments from the kids through grinding teeth and knife-point smiles. But when your shoulders bumped against him on the bench, the tip of your right ear was burning red.

Simon ended up joining the week that followed, bringing more laughter to the shared space with his horrible singing and playfully flexing his swordsmanship. The edge of your smile grew softer and your shoulders more relaxed as you stuffed everyone’s plates with more food. Peter watched you through the rim of his cup with a tightness in his throat; you had only wanted to be normal. 

EDIT

“The kids are my rock.” You confessed a few months later when the ice wall between you and him finally melted. This late into the night, there wasn’t a wisp of cloud in the sky. The waves hit the shore every second, washing away the footsteps as Peter took a stroll with you along the beach.

You asked him about his dream. He didn’t know how to answer it. Taking away the cruelty and violence that made him the way he is today, what was left of the Apostle Peter? A caring brother to Simon and a good son to Father Gabriel. He might as well have been a husk before and a pretty face after, but there rarely had been anything in between for Peter to define himself. A label. A purpose.

Before he could say it, you gave his shoulder a gentle pat and chuckle, eyes glinting with mirth. “You’ll probably be a bookstore typa guy when you grow older.” And against all odds, the statement drew a chuckle from him too.

Maybe he would. Maybe if there was ever a disbandment order from the Cathedral and Peter had lived long enough to have a hunched back and a head full of grey hair, he would run a small bookstore on his own. Maybe the future Simon would drop by sometimes and tease him for his old-man look despite being older than Peter was.

Maybe the future you, still alive and kicking then, would also visit him, and the future Peter, older and wiser than he is right now, might have had the courage to ask you to stay.

But tonight, there was just the two of you. The moon hung high above the sky, the sea glistened with stars and mysticality. Peter watched as the white moonlight lined up the bridge of your nose and the curves of your cupid bow. The artificial heart inside your chest might not have a pulse, but his own did.

And it was very much beating for you.

[igotanidea]

Not trying: Dick Grayson x reader

She was not trying to get his attention.

And anyone who would even come as close as to suggest that, was being scoffed at, almost laughed at, and brushed off using the classic argument of her being too busy to deal with stupid gossip.

But people were not stupid.

And definitely not the GCPD detectives and officers, of which Y/N had the pleasure to be one.

There was no way to miss the days when she was dressing differently, trying to look pretty. Days that happened to be the ones when Dick was having an office duty and wasn’t on field.

Days when she was sad and internally calling herself off when it turned out he took an unexpected day off or something kept him outside the precinct.

Days when she was faking a smile just so he wouldn’t think she was weak or something.

She was not weak.

She was human.

And in this particular case, being human came with falling in love out of the blue with the guy that couldn't care less, because –spoiler alert!- you cannot possibly plan love.

So she was hurting and cursing that part of her that made her keep on trying over and over again.

Spending days at work, full of energy not trying to get his attention, and evenings in front of TV wishing and praying for this hope to just go away and never come back. It was simply heartbreaking to have it regrow every morning just to tear it away at the end of the day.

Like freaking Prometheus with his liver.

But there was one thing similar between them.

They both suffered because of love for humanity – or in her case – one particular human.

***

It was like that for months now, and finally, all those self-doubts and sadness took over her completely.

So at work, she was avoiding people. She closed herself in her office, deciding to put that teary attitude to use to do some cleaning and remove old files.

Clean space, clean head right?

And those tears that finally started falling down her cheeks were definitely going to be helpful with dusting.

She was crying at work.

How pathetic was that?

But it was okay. It was okay. It was okay.

But now that she'd finally let her tears out, she couldn't stop, as though it was a build-up of all the times she'd held the tears in and her body just wasn't having it anymore.

And since life has a tendency to play mean tricks on people, the moment when she looked like a panda with smudged mascara and red nose that would put Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer to shame was the exact moment her office door opened with a loud thud and the Chief walked inside.

“Y/L/N. You good?” he muttered, torn between his boss-like attitude and sudden awkwardness upon seeing one of his best detectives in such a state.

“Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, I’m perfect. Why?”

“Um…” the man looked at her dirty, teary face that was speaking for itself. “No reason at all. At all.”

“Is there anything I can do for you,” she inquired as she grabbed some tissues and wiped the stains away – or so she thought – actually making it worse.

“We got a crime scene. You’re going.”

Little did she know, her boss was having second and third and even fourth thoughts about putting her into investigation in this state, but no one else was available. And – to add to his desperation – the first clues were pointing to the crime of vengeance which were her specialty.

“Great. I’m coming.” She instinctively grabbed her gun from the shelf, but before it ended in her holster the boss capably took it from her, shaking his head.

“No.”

“But-“

“Y/L/N this is an order. You are not to take it.”

“But how am I supposed to-?”

“You can take Grayson.”

“WHAT!?”

“In fact, you both will be assigned to this case. This boy needs to get his head out of his ass. Maybe you’ll be the one to teach him some humility.”

“Huh. Yeah…” she stuttered with the greatest amount of sarcasm in her head. Because the woman who was In love with a man was definitely not going to add to his ego, even if only subconsciously. 

***

“Y/N!” Dick grinned, which would probably be a little less weird if he was not standing in front of a dead body.

“Grayson,” she muttered, sticking hands in her pockets, putting on the most indifferent face expression possible.

“You look different” he looked at her with an insightful look.

“Now that’s quite an observation, detective.” She mocked back. Anyone would notice her make-up less state, bloodshot eyes, disheveled clothes,  and messy hair.

“Were you busy in that little office of yours?”

“The hell, Grayson?!” Y/N instinctively reached for the gun, but obviously did not find it and sighed in frustration. Screw her boss.

“Whoa! No need to get defensive. You just look a little – I don’t know – left high and dry?”

“I swear to God, if you don’t cut that bullshit, you’ll be the next one ending up in a body bag.”

“You wanna come at me, detective?” he smirked.

“Why am I being punished with working with you…” She grabbed the bridge of her nose, squeezing it, sensing the massive migraine coming.

“Cause you’re clearly the only one who can make me get my head out of my ass.”

“Nice. Chief told you that too?”

“Nah, I just bugged your office.”

“You do realize that’s illegal, right?”

“I’ve been authorized.”

“Oh yeah? By who?”

“By my human instincts and care for my friend.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it in a gesture that was supposed to be reassuring. “You’ve been sad lately and –” the brush of his hand on hers made her shiver and – despite everything she did not want to do – take a step back.

“Let’s focus on work shall we?” She moved to talk to the CSI and technicians to get details about the traces and the technicalities.

“Yeah, if that’s what you want.” He shrugged “But you are boring!”

She was not boring, merely trying to save herself from any more possible heartbreak – or worse – ridicule.

***

A few weeks later, with the investigation still on, they were both buried to their necks in paperwork, searching for dots and connections and any possible explanations and seemingly invisible tracks their culprit may have left.

And working together involved late nights spent together at the precinct, countless nights of Chinese takeout and getting closer, which was both a curse and a blessing.

Blessing because she learned a lot of little details about him. Like for example that he wasn’t just the son of a billionaire who was playing a cop. Like how he actually wanted to separate himself, make a name for himself and not be only known as “the adoptive alumni of Bruce Wayne.” Like underneath all that goofy act he was actually deeply caring and involved in his work, in helping people and making the city a safer place. Like his eyes were sparkling every time he mentioned his siblings or how his mouth twitched in restrained laughter when she said something that was sarcastically funny.

And a curse, because all those little details only made her fall for him harder. And even if she skipped on that not-trying-to-look-pretty act, because investigation took much more of her time and effort, the longing was still there.

“So, what is that big brain of yours telling you about this?” he asked, throwing her off her thought that at the moment had little to do with the crime.

“About what?” she muttered, trying to figure out what he was talking about for the last couple minutes before she spaced out.

“The newest evidence obviously!” Dick laughed, rummaging through his box of beef Chinese, putting his feet on the desk.

“Hey, watch out!” Her first reaction was rushing to save the documents from the inevitable sweet and sour sauce stains.

“Relax, Y/N. It’s not like I’m going to mess anything up here.” The chopsticks were thrown up with undeniable capability, swirled in the air and landed back in his hand without any damages done to the files. “See?”

“Show off.”

“And yet, this show off made you distracted, didn’t he,” Dick asked as he leaned forward, meeting her eyes.

Too close!

“For the record—” she started and then her eyes grew wide as a sudden realization hit her. A second later, she was throwing the papers away in a haste to get to something.

“Hey! Whoa! Y/N! What-?”

“Shut up, Grayson!”

“Shit, I really have to set you up with my brother Jason. He needs a girl in his life and you two will bound hard over the love of telling me to cut on the talking and-“

“I said shut up, Grayson!” a bunch of papers hit his face. She couldn’t even bring herself to care that the man she was in love with wanted to set her up with his brother. She just figured out the entire case. All hecause of a pair of chopsticks having been thrown into the air.

“What are you looking for?”

“Here!” she exclaimed happily pointing at some pictures from the crime scenes and an alleged instrument of crime.  “See? We were wrong all along! From the very beginning. This is why he never left any traces!”

“What are you talking about? I don’t-“

“Hush. You don’t need to understand a single thing. Just grab your gun and badge and follow me. Come on, pretty boy, we don’t have much time and I know exactly where we’ll get the perpetrator.”

Dick could only stand there in his feet rooted to the ground, watching Y/N figuring the whole case out, the wheels in her brains turning faster than a race car, face flushing from excitement, pupils dilating.

Pretty and smart, even with her hair in a messy bun and plain clothes on. Or maybe – especially because of that, since jeans and t-shirts could never suppress her natural beauty?

“Grayson! Come on! Don’t freeze on me!”

“Coming,” he replied as her voice slowly reached his ears. He realized there was no way he was going to let her go anywhere alone. Even if he couldn’t understand a single thing from her rambling and running around, the least he could do was to keep her safe.

***

“Are you absolutely sure about it?”

“Are you chickening out?”

“Your hands are shaking, Y/N.”

“That’s why you are the one with a gun.”

“And killer fighting skills.”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.”

“That tone of sarcasm is completely unnecessary, you know. And after we are done please do remind me to introduce you to Jason—”

“Don’t you ever shut up?”

“Don’t you know the answer to that by now?”

Y/N sighed deeply in frustration, fighting the urge to curse at him with the strongest cursing words known to humans. And maybe even inventing a few by herself.

“Seriously, Y/N, are you sure that-?”

“Hush!” she put a palm to his mouth, noticing some movement in front of the house they were currently observing from the camouflaged car. “See that? Told you I was fucking right!”

“There’s no need to brag, you know.” He muttered, his voice muffled due to her hand still on his face.

“Admit it.”

“Admit what?” He looked at her with an incredulous look.

“That I was right.”

“Well for the record, I was the one who made you come into a conclusion-“

“Un-fucking-believable.”

She swiftly left the car, abandoning her need to hear the praise from him to the benefit of catching the culprit that has been invading her waking and sleeping hours alike. She was not going to beg for attention, this time for real, sneaking to the house the criminal ring was clearly having some sort of meeting.

And then, there was the one. Looking like a regular person, even if he was exceptionally handsome, but rotten to the core.

“See? That’s the one who-. Dick?” Y/N turned around, but not spotting her partner anywhere. Fuck! Really?! He was leaving her now?! Of all the times and places?! Now?! Was he really so jealous and self-conceited to not help her finish their joint case?

And here she was, thinking she saw something special in him. Something hidden under the surface.

Stupid heart. After all this time they spent together, seemingly building something, she was right back to the beginning, when she was not trying.

And what was she supposed to do now?

Coming inside alone? Reckless.

Calling for freaking SWAT teams? Before they would get here, the meeting of criminals would be over.

Wait till it was over and chase the leader alone?

Listen to their plan and use it later on?

She was a detective with skills, but not a spy!

And she made that one rookie mistake when leaning too much upwards she was seen.

“Hey! There’s someone outside the window!”

“Oh great…” she muttered and only a quick duck saved her head from being hurt from all the glass shattering due to the bullet fired in her direction.

“Get her! She could be a cop!”

The four men broke from the table, grabber whatever weapons they possibly could and rushed right after her.

“Fuck!” She took off running because despite her agility, speed, and quick thinking she physically was no match to the tank-like men. “Fuck you, boss for taking away my gun permissions!” She hissed to herself, running away. “Fuck you Grayson for leaving me alone! I can’t believe I fell for you!”

“You fell for me?” a familiar teasing voice echoed somewhere from behind, but nowhere to be seen.

And it made her stop.

“Dick?” She turned around to search for him.

And it was another mistake.

An iron grip on her arm and sudden harsh yank back serving as a perfect example of her stupidity.

“I got our little bird.” One of the men laughed maliciously.

“Well, I am not exactly little,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. Her only chance was to tread carefully and hope that stupid fucking Grayson will figure out a way out of this mess. Stupid fucking hope that got her in said mess in the first place.

“Huh?” the goon frowned.

“I said-“

“Let the lady go.” Y/N’s words were cut off abruptly by something that seemed like Dick’s voice, but a little more… distorted?

The hell was going on here?

“I really do advise you to let the lady go.” The same voice said again.

“Oh yeah? And who’s asking me to do so? Show your face unless you are all talk.”

“Seeing me only comes once for certain people. And believe me when I say that most of those encounters end up bad when you cross paths with me.”

A man’s silhouette emerged from a few meters ahead, covered by the darkness of the night. At least at first. But as he moved closer, both Y/N and the goon froze, though either of them for a different reason.

“Shit,” she muttered.

“Nightwing,” the goon hissed, tightening the grip on Y/N.

“Hello to you both. Wonderful night we are having, aren’t we?”

“I could argue with that-“ Y/N rolled her eyes. She was definitely going to have bruises tomorrow. That was, if the most talkative of the city's vigilantes wouldn’t actually cause her to end up dead. 

“Congratulations Nightwing, you got me. But there are much more of us in-“

“In that little hiding spot that’s not even properly hidden? Not sorry to break it to you, but Robin and Red Hood are currently dealing with them.”

“Huh?”

“Not very smart, are you?”

“Hey!”

As the goon was getting distracted, Nightwing (?) sent Y/N a very familiar, discreet look and she nodded almost immediately, and suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle formed one clear picture.

“He’s right, you know. You are not very smart,” she picked up the tone immediately.

“Hey!”

“She is a cop,” Nightwing pointed out.

“She is?”

“Yeah, I am. And since I saw your face, I can absolutely guarantee you, I won’t stop until you are behind bars. Unless-“

“Unless obviously you surrender willingly. Maybe then she can strike a bargain for you?”

“That might actually be a possibility,” Y/N teased. “But I’m not sure. Do you think our fella here deserves to be treated lightly, Nightwing?”

“I’m not sure. Are you hurt, Y/N?”

“Can’t lie that my arm is getting a little sore here. If he keeps holding me like this we might also charge him with violation of physical integrity. That’s 3 to 5 years, I believe?”

“And in this case we’re dealing with assault on a public official. Quite an incriminating circumstance.”

“So what do you think, maximum penalty?”

“And the conspiring charges too.”

“And the murder involvement.”

“I say 15 if not more.”

“I’d say more.”

“You wanna bet?” Nightwing smirked.

“I had nothing to do with the murder!” The goon got a little overwhelmed by the quick-paced exchange of words, of which he couldn’t comprehend half of them, loosening the grip on Y/N. And she was quick to use it against him, finding her leverage in using four sensitive spots to knock the man down.

Half an hour later all four men involved were handcuffed and escorted to the police station. 

And after Y/N made her official oral deposition with a promise to submit a written report first thing in the morning, she was finally left alone for a moment of peace.

“Did you really use that Miss Agent trick?”

“It worked didn’t it?” she crossed arms on her chest, looking at Nightwing in a mocking way, without any sympathy at all.

“You know, most of the ladies I know would be at least a little grateful for me saving them.”

“Mhm. That would actually involve the saving part.”

“Let’s check. You are breathing. You are intact. Clearly neither your tongue nor your brain got damaged. Looks quite saved to me.”

“You left me!”  

“For five minutes! Not my fault you are so terrible at self-defense!”

“Not my fault you are terrible at being open with such secrets!”

“It was to protect you!”

“Dick…” she sighed heavily, daring to whisper his name.

“Y/N…” he responded, taking a few steps forward, taking her hand in the same gesture he did all those weeks ago when they started working this case together.

“I thought we were partners? At work” she added quickly

“You fell for me,” he asks, the left corner of his mouth traveling up.

“Oh, now you have a good memory?”

“Did you?”

“NO!”

“Really? No? That's your final answer. Or maybe it’s not,” he pulled her closer and wrapped arms around her waist, preventing her from running away again.

“Yes. I mean, no! I mean- damn it…”

“So, if I were to commit the act of violating the physical integrity of a public official...” he leaned forwards. “what would you say Y/N?”

“What happened to me meeting your brother?”

“I said you have to meet him. Never said why.”

“Oh? And why?” she smirked looking from above his arm to check if they were alone.

“To make him jealous, obviously.”

She chuckled softly, checking the surroundings once more, before slowly reaching to remove his mask and meeting those pretty blue eyes and familiar face.

“Hello there.”

“Hello to you too.”

Their lips were now inches away from each other.

“Which brother are we talking about? Red Hood? Heard he’s hot…”

“Do you ever shut up?” Dick grinned before leaning forward and finally capturing those lips he’s been dreaming about for weeks now.

And kissing her was effortless.

Like he was not trying at all.

[pwblant]

OOPS! — l.ant ★

★ pairing : l.ant x f!reader

★ wc. : 555

★ warnings : none!!! mainly fluff hehe

★ a/n : i miss memories era take me back!!

it was a sunny day out—you were in a good mood especially because you had a lot of free time. vacant days felt like miracles because art school life has been so busy lately. since you wanted to take this time to relax and enjoy your weekend, you took your sketchbook and pencil and made your way to your go-to cafe that was conveniently a 5 minute walk away from your apartment. 

as you walked through the doors of the cafe, you were greeted by the staff and met with the rich aroma of coffee. once you placed your order for an iced americano, you plopped down on your favorite vacant spot near the counter, which was also a cozy spot perfect for drawing. you sketched away until you finally heard the waiter call your name.

“order for y/n?” 

hearing your name, you immediately got up, carrying the tray back to your table and sitting back down. this was the life. a good drawing day along with the perfect seat and the perfect cup of coffe—

“oh my goodness.” a tall boy around your age says as he looks down at you in shock right after tripping on air and spilling his drink all over your sketchbook. 

“oh no, oh no, oh no,” the guy responsible for the mess says as he scrambles to look for a napkin, his panicked expression made him look mortified but also adorable. 

“honestly, it’s fine.” you say, trying to calm him down as you eyed your ruined piece.

“no no no i have an idea.” instead of calming down, he takes a pen from his pocket and starts “fixing” what he’s destroyed.

“i can fix it. i’m good at drawing, i swear!” he said in a worried but soft spoken tone. spoiler alert, he didn’t fix it. you laughed at the disaster of a drawing he created and his cheeks turned bright pink. 

“oh my gosh, what is this? a frog? that used to be a tree!” you said, genuinely finding all of this hilarious without a single trace of anger. it was a lucky day for him that you were in a good mood today. 

you looked up at him, “my name’s y/n and what’s yours, clumsy boy?” you joked. 

“um, my name’s anton. i’m really, really sorry about what happened. how can i make up for it?” he asked, looking worried.

“i told you, it’s fine. you’re cute anyways.” you say, half joking about what you just said—it wasn’t a lie that he was undeniably cute especially after witnessing what had just gone down.

you could see his ears turn red behind his brown, fluffy hair. “well, maybe i could make up for it over lunch? if you’re free.” he offered.

“deal.”

he invited himself over to your table and sat on the chair opposite to you. this didn’t bother you anyway. you ended up chatting with him for almost an hour, realizing the amount of similarities between the two of you. maybe it was like fate had known of your loneliness, so it gave you a little gift for all the stress you’ve endured. 

despite the unexpected way of meeting, you really enjoyed his company and quickly exchanged contacts before packing up and walking to the restaurant you’ll be having lunch in together.