#he’s a blacksmith! except he doesn’t make like heavy axes and stuff

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

Fuck you *gives your oc a healthy relationship to at least one parent*

[p-artsypants]

320 State Street- (8) July 16, 2016

A03 | FF.Net

Previous

—

The drinking song in the last chapter is a slightly re-written translation of ‘Fela Igjen’, by Alexander Rybak. I don’t know why I forgot to put that in the author’s notes on the last chapter…(maybe because I wrote the chapter at 2am in the middle of a party…)

—

“So this lady comes up to the counter and starts putting her stuff up. It was like, spray paint and caulk and sandpaper…stuff like that.” Astrid sat at a table in Hiccup’s basement. Heather, Fishlegs, and Eret listened and waited for Hiccup. “I was halfway through typing in her items when I noticed the guy before me had left his coffee on the counter.”

“People are lazy.” Fishleg’s shrugged.

“Ah, but that’s not worst part! The woman saw where I was looking, reached over, grabbed the coffee and finished it off.”

“She didn’t!” Heather objected.

“I swear to god, she did!”

“That’s the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Alright guys,” Hiccup stated, coming into the room. He balanced a laptop in one hand and had a broad selection of snacks in the other. “My mom has two hours free and she’s going to join us.”

“Join us? But she’s in…” Astrid sentence got cut short as Hiccup placed the laptop on the table.

Valka Haddock, a beautiful and wise mother showed on the screen. She smiled. “So you’re Astrid? Hiccup’s told me a lot about you!”

Said boy in reply blushed. “Soooo does everyone have their character sheets?”

Everyone nodded, except Astrid.

Fishlegs organized his notes then held a blank sheet of paper out to Astrid. “So, since you’ve never played before, you’ll need to make your character.”

“Okay.”

“What do you want to be? Human? Elf? Gnome?” Hiccup looked pointedly at Heather.

“Well…what do we have?”

Hiccup spoke in a deep Scottish voice, one which Astrid recognized as the voice he used to imitate his dad. “I am Sho’gath the mighty, son of Ogro’Sherk, and wielder of axes.” Then he used his regular voice. “I’m a true neutral Orc.”

“Okay, what does ‘true neutral’ mean?”

“It’s an alignment. Lawful Good all the way down to Chaotic Evil. It just determines what kind of decisions you’re going to make. Are you always going to do the right thing and follow the rules, or are you going to mess everything up?”

“Oh, I get it.” She nodded.

“I’m a beautiful elven ranger. And I’m Neutral good.” Eret explained, holding up a scribble of a blonde woman.

Valka spoke from the computer, “I’m Magro Thiadim, a gentle giant.”

“I’m a dashing rogue named Cazriel, and I have an monkey companion named Steve the Well Trained.” Fishlegs frowned right after, "but since I'm leading the campaign, you won't get to see me in action."

Then Heather finished, “I’m a 200 year old mage that looks like a 15 year old boy, and I’m mute, illiterate, and eat rocks.”

“You must be fun to play with.” Astrid laughed.

“She’s not.” Everyone else responded.

“Well, now I have a lot of options. Can I be anything?”

“Basically.”

“I want to be an Angel.”

Fishlegs and Hiccup looked at each other, seemingly having a unspoken conversation. “Well, you could…but it’s really hard to play as one.” Fishlegs finally admitted. “Might I suggest a paladin?”

“Depends, what’s a paladin?”  

“Do you know anything about Dungeons and Dragons?!” He asked snippily.

She replied, just as snippily. “I know only nerds play it.”

“Guess you’re a nerd now,” Hiccup shrugged.  

“You’re damn straight.”

“Darn. Darn straight.” He corrected.

“Okay, well a Paladin is a holy knight. They get a animal to mount that they share an empathic link with. But they can only be Lawful Good. So they always have to do the right thing.”

Astrid shrugged. “Doesn’t sound too far from real life. I’ll do it.” Then she snapped her fingers. “My mount can be a giant bird! It’ll grasp onto my shoulders and carry me.”

“What kind of bird?” Asked Hiccup. “Are you just going to make it Stormfly?”

“No, I can be a little creative.” She laughed. “I’ll make it a potoo.”

The table went quiet. “What’s a potoo?”

She pulled out her phone and went to Google. “It’s this bird that’s really derpy, it looks like a living muppet.”

She found a picture and held it up. Sure enough, the bird did look like a living muppet. It had big yellow eyes that bugged out on either sides of it’s head.

“That’s terrifying.” Hiccup cringed.

“His name is Gary.”

“Your character?”

“No, my bird.” She stated it like it was obvious. “I still have to think of a name for my character.”

“Well,” Fishlegs began, looking at his notes. “How about Hiccup helps her set up her character while I set the scene.”

“Okay.”

He cleared his throat and spoke to the rest of the group. “You arrive at the Western dock of the town of Kolasiet. One ship leaves every third morning and returns every third night. To the South, there is a huge hill. In front of you, there are houses, a tavern, a trader who does business inside the tavern, a blacksmith, a church, a jail, and an elder who acts as a healer and a seer.

“To the North, there is an ornate, beautiful manor on the hill. It’s large and spectacular, but not as grand as the castle.

“To the East, there is a large castle up on the mountain. It is covered with ivy and there are lights in the windows. The castle is in ill repair, but looks habited. There’s a huge rose maze around the outside and heavy iron gates at the base of the hill.”

“Good start.” Eret commented. “I’ll go into town.”

Valka and Heather followed.

“People you talk to are pretty down trodden and poor, tell you to go to the Tavern.”

“To the Tavern then!”

“Okay,” announced Astrid. “I have my character. Now how do I play the game?”

Fishlegs groaned.

Hiccup explained, “it’s a roleplaying game. The DM, Fishlegs, will tell the story and you move your character within the story to finish it.”

“Okay…” she followed so far.

“As an example,” Fishlegs stated, “say you’re in the woods and there are trees all around you, except for a cave. Where do you want to go?”

“Well, to the cave. Seeing as it’s basically the only place to go.”

“Alright, inside the cave is a pile of bones.”

“Lovely.”

“On top of the bones, theres a dead carcass of a mystical being called a beholder. You see something sparkling in it’s eye.”

“I want to look at the sparkling thing.”

Fishlegs smiled. “You have found beauty in the eye of the beholder.”

Astrid scrunched up her nose. “Well, it’s been fun, but I’m leaving.”

“No! Wait! Don’t leave! It was a joke!!!” He begged.

—

The group had entered the tavern, where they met up with a paladin with a bird mount. Everyone else in the tavern was just as sad and pathetic as the people outside. Maybe even more so, since they were drunk of their asses. Only the trader, Joe, was in a cheerful mood. No doubt hopeful that he’d get some actual business. Joe admitted that he’d been in the town three days, and couldn’t wait to get out. Whatever was effecting these people was very serious and if the group of rag-tag fighter’s knew better, they’d leave soon too. They bought several drinks and items and talked to the bartender. A goat looking man with a mustache down hanging down to his nipples.

—

“Gobber?”

“Gobber.”

—

“Several months ago, we were prosperous. The castle was inhabited by a beautiful and kind fairy. She had magnificence gossamer wings and hair that shone in the sun like gold. Daily, she’d come into our town and grace us with her humble presence. She was also very wealthy, more wealthy then even the mayor, but she was generous and gave gold to whoever needed it, but always with the warning, ‘do not take what is not given to you’. But then…one day, the sky turned gray and all the gold that was given to us from the fairy, turned to coal. Great for heating our homes, mind you, but we were left nearly desolate. The mayor spread what wealth he could, but he was also depleted of his riches.  An unknown disease spread over the people and took lives. Where once riches flowed, now only sadness like a sprinkler of agony. I’m sure if our gold was restored to us, there would be a handsome reward to those responsible.”

At the word ‘reward’ the group prepared to do what it took to restore the town to it’s glory.

And so the group explored the town, talking to various people, including the mayor, elder, healer, and some guards.

Finally, they snuck up to the castle gate.

Two gargoyles sat on the top of the gate, watching them as they approached.

“Halt! Who goes there?” One asked.

The massive orc, with the same amount to tact as brains, spoke, “I am Sho’gath the Mighty and you will let me in this gate!”

“We do not let outsiders in, you do not have the key.”

—

Astrid snarled. “Well, then what are we supposed to do? Everyone we talked to made it seem like the Castle was the place to go!” She crossed her arms. “This game is dumb.”

Hiccup chuckled. “It’s supposed to be a challenge. Or else we’d finish it in an hour.”

Astrid checked the time on her phone. An hour and a half had passed, and they were no where near done. “How long is it supposed to take?”

“Two to three weeks, depending.” Fishlegs shrugged.

“You do realize I have a life and a job, right?”

“Relax”, charmed Heather. “We play three to four hours at a time.”

Astrid rubbed her temples. “I’ve played monopoly games shorter than this.”

—

A Paladin, Orc, Mage, Giant, and an Elf sneak into a jail.

Sounds like a joke right?

The guards proved to be a challenge, but the Orc did most of the work. Each one of the prisoners were interviewed, some being more impactful then the rest. The gentle giant, Magro Thiadim, was fiercely disturbed by what a shady man had to say to him. And so he left the town, and wandered onto the beach.

—

It was then that the game reached it’s second hour, and Valka had to leave.

The rest of the team had no plans for the rest of the day. Astrid was now invested.

—

The last prisoner they interviewed was a young woman. She had black hair, yellow eyes and a sickly complexion.  She explained that she was once the fairy in the castle, but she was ambushed one day and her wings were ripped off. Now the castle belonged to the evil that stole her wings and if the town was to go back to normal, they had to get her wings back.

The fairy gave the group a vile of her blood as the key to get in the gate.

—

“Okay, before we storm the castle, does anyone need to take a break?”

“Yes!”

Hiccup stood, picking up his glass. “Can I get anyone something to drink?”

“I’m going to need a hard drink to get through the rest of this.” Laughed Eret.

“Me too!” Joined Heather.

Astrid stood as well, “I’ll come with you Hiccup. I’m getting a leg cramp.”

The rest of the group started chatting about some TV show Astrid hadn’t had the time to see yet as she followed him upstairs.

“So…you like this kind of stuff?”

“What?”

“The…lord of the rings, fantasy stuff.”

“Yeah, it’s okay. I really really like dragons though.”

“Dragons, huh?”

“Yeah, if I could. I’d have a pet dragon. I’d have twenty.”

She laughed. “You couldn’t live here in a wooden house then.”

He chuckled along with her. “No, I guess I couldn’t.”

“But an Orc though? I would never have expected Sho’gath to be your character.”

Hiccup snorted. “He’s a joke character, don’t read too far into it. I made myself true neutral so I could do whatever I wanted. We’re fighting an army of zombies to save an orphanage? If there’s a reward involved, I’ll do it. But if there’s a bank next door, you better believe I’m robbing it.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Exactly. I’d never do that in real life, it’s just fun to pretend.”

Toothless lazily basked in the sun on his back. Stormfly burrowed into his tummy fur. The duo walked past and gave their respected pets pats and scratches, then headed to the kitchen.

“Are you having a fun time?”

“Hm?”

“You seemed kind of annoyed when we started…if you aren’t having fun then—“

She slammed her hand down on the table. “I’m having a great time!”

He jumped.

“Look, it wasn’t really my cup of tea at first, but I’m really enjoying myself now. Honestly.” She made her way over to the fridge and pulled out two beers. “But to be frank…look, I don’t want to dump my burdens on you…”

He leaned against the counter. “I’m always happy to be an ear for you. You…don’t have it easy. I can’t imagine being on my own without the help of at least one parent. And taking care of one, no less.”

“I’ve gotten used to it.” She smirked. “Anyway…I don’t have a lot of friends. I didn’t really keep in contact with the ones from High School and I didn’t make a lot of friends at Yale…So, I really appreciate you inviting me to these things. It’s nice to kick back with friends, you know?”

“Actually,” he smiled. “Fishlegs was the one who extended the invitation to you. He thought you might like the story he was planning.”

“Huh. Well, that son of a gun.”

“But, you’re always welcome to come over, whenever you want. I like you, Astrid.”

“I like you too, Hiccup.”

—

After a maze of living shrubs filled with man eating flowers and sentient statues, the orc, paladin, elf, and mage finally arrived at the castle door. With the fairy’s blood, the door opened to them easily.

Though evil lurked in the walls, the group spread out and searched the castle. Some found weapons, others, spells. But the paladin was the one who found the first journal entry.

“I arrived in the town of Kolasiet. It’s quiet, but teeming with life and untapped wealth. Everything seems so bountiful, great food, happy people. It’s almost amazing that there are not more people here. I ventured up to the castle, where lush Roses grew around the entrance. Though, as I approached them, the roses came to life and barred my entry. I sat on the bridge and waited for someone to come by, and sure enough, a beautiful fairy with red, silken wings fluttered toward me. I had never seen a fairy before, but she was awfully nice. She has invited me to stay in the castle with her, seeing my interest in the architecture. I believe I will enjoy my stay.”

—

“So, who wrote the journal?”

“That’s part of the puzzle!” Explained Fishlegs. “You have to figure out who wrote it and why.”

She sighed. “Is this part of the main quest? Or is this a side thing that we get to do?”

“Well…it’s kind of crucial to know what happened, but you don’t need it to beat the dungeon.”

She looked at her phone. They had been playing for four hours now. “How many floors do we have left?”

“Besides this one, two.”

Her head connected with the table.

—

In the study, the elf found the next journal entry.

“Nearly as soon as I got inside, I started sketching what I could. My hands have never worked that fast. I’m sure the Fairy had never see someone so frantic. She loaned me her study, with the promise that I would make better use of it than her. The Library is one room over and has more books then I had ever seen in my life. I could travel until the day I die, and still not learn as much as I would from those books. The Fairy, Aster, she calls herself, seems to enjoy my company. I presented my inventions and their functions and she was delighted, though I believe she didn’t care for the flying machines, since she has such magnificent wings. I might just stay here instead of returning home to Lunesti. I’m sure father would love that. Four years is a long time to be away. I often wonder if they get my letters, they never write me back. I digress. I’m in an enchanted castle!”

—

“Aster?” Astrid deadpanned. “Really?”

“It means ‘star,’ for your information!” Fishlegs defended. “Besides, I starting writing this before I knew you. So it’s not intentional.”

“Fair enough.”

Another hour passed and Astrid’s phone died.

—

On the stairs to the third floor, it was the mage this time that found a piece of paper.

—

Fishlegs passed the notecard to Heather, who in turn gave it to Astrid.

“Wait, why do I get it?”

“Because I can’t read!” Heather stated. “Remember?”

Astrid scoffed and read out loud.  

“My dearest Aster,

It is with a heavy heart that I tell you I have to leave. I have gotten word that my hometown has been destroyed. I must go and find out for myself. I wanted to tell you in person, but I am a coward. Leaving here is hard enough. I have a strange regard to you, which there is a chain connected to both of our ribs, and with distance the chain will pull and I would take to bleeding inwardly. I will take nothing with me but the key you lent me, with the promise to bring it back soon. Hopefully, I can sustain these wounds long enough to pay my respects. You have often said you do not receive gifts from others, so I leave you with my greatest possession: My heart. Nowhere will feel like home without you. I love you, Aster, most earnestly.

Your faithful friend,

Henry.”

Everyone paused to look at Fishlegs.

“What? Henry is a good name!”

Astrid looked smugly over to Hiccup and sang, “Someone’s in love with a fairy!”

“You had to use my name, Fish?”

“For the sake of the integrity of the game, yes, I did.”

Hiccup chuckled awkwardly, and looked at his phone. “Well, it’s 9 o’clock and there’s one more floor left. Are we pulling an all nighter?”

Something clicked in the back of Astrid’s mind. “Wait…I think I was supposed to do something ate 8…”

“Was it feed Stormfly? Because you already did…”

“No, it wasn’t that.” She furrowed her brow in thought. “Oh god, what was it?”

Suddenly, she stood, knocking the chair away from her with a clatter. “I was supposed to meet Scott!!”

Henry gasped too as he stood. “We’ll finish this up next week! You get going!”

“Thanks for understanding! See you guys later!” She nearly ran to the door. “Oh, and Fishlegs. Thanks for letting me join! I had too much fun!”

—

Astrid sped home. Traffic laws be damned, she lived twenty-five minutes away from Hiccup. But she made it in fifteen. She’d never be this lucky again.

She hopped out of her jeep and hurried to the door. “I’m home!” She called to her roommate. “But just for a second, then I’m leaving again!”

She burst into her room and turned on the light, then jumped a mile high.

Scott was sitting on her bed, glowering with a white hot rage.

“What-how—I thought—!” She stammered. She had practiced what she was going to say to him, but they all flew out her ears at the sight of him.

“You didn’t answer my texts or my calls.” He stated.

“My phone died.” She fished it out of her pocket and held it out to him as proof. “I swear to God that I didn’t mean to ditch you. I was at a friend’s house and we were playing Dungeons and Dragons and—“

He laughed. That was a good sign, right? “You were playing what?”

“Dungeons and Dragons…” She repeated, quietly.

The anger was still there, but he looked embarrass as he stood. “You’re telling me…that you left me alone in that restaurant, by myself, because you were playing that…that stupid, weird game? Are you serious?!”

“Scott, I swear I didn’t mean to do that to you!”

“I can’t believe you!” He shouted, startling her. “Do you know how humiliating that was? I waited there for an hour, and you never showed! People kept looking over at me an whispering. It was horrible, Astrid!”

Astrid reddened slightly, hating the feeling of being in the wrong. But she was also a fighter, and in this situation, it wasn’t really a good trait to have. Her nose flared. “Now you know how I feel.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

She raised her head defiantly to meet his eyes. “You heard me. You’ve done this kind of shit to me before. But there are times I’ve waited more than an hour for you to show up.”

He ground his teeth. “Me not showing up is different, Astrid!”

“And how is that?”

“I’m very busy! I don’t have a lot of time to spare for you! Sometimes, things happen, and I hate having my time wasted!”

She poked his chest, “And you think I enjoy sitting around waiting for you?!” Her hands clenched into a fist as her anger mounted. Honestly, this argument was a long time coming. “You are the most conceited, oblivious, self-centered—“

His fist connecting with her face hurt more then she could fathom. Sure, he was strong. But never before had he hit her. Violence was something she sensed in him, but she never imagined he’d resort to it.

“You don’t get to speak to me like that, Astrid!” He shouted, his voice hurting her throbbing head.

She in turn clenched her fist and wound up, preparing to fight back.

But she didn’t.

Scott wasn’t the type to just take a punch. They’d volley back and forth until someone was unconscious. It had to end with her, so she took a deep breath and let her anger go.

And it was hard.

“You hit me.” She stated, plainly.

“You deserved it!” He shot back. “I will not stand here and have you yell and berate me with this is your goddamn fault.”

Again, she kept her anger at bay. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I was late.” It felt like poison in her mouth as she spoke.

Hearing her apology, Scott’s rage began to subside. Without her fight, he had nothing to feed on and began to cool down. “I…” He looked away from her, “I’m sorry I hit you. You…didn’t deserve it.” It sounded like he didn’t entirely believe it. But she’d accept it.

“It won’t happen again,” she offered a smile.

“It won’t happen again,” he agreed. He swallowed thickly and shook his head. “Uh…I should probably go before…well, I’m still kind of hurt…”

“Okay. Maybe it’s for the best.” She sighed a shaky breath. “Drive safe.”

“Yeah…put some ice on that.” He shouldered past her and went to the door. “I’ll see you later.”

“Later,” she assured, half-heartedly.

Maybe when later came, he’d realize how stupid and awful he was and really apologize.

It would be nice, but it wasn’t realistic.

—

The paladin ascended to the top floor alone. Waiting in the audience chamber, was a werewolf, huge and black.

The knight raised her sword to defend herself, while the beast roared in anguish.

She ran full force, blade at the ready, and delivered a blow to the heart.

What the paladin didn’t know, was that the werewolf was an enemy she was never supposed to fight alone. It grabbed her by the legs in one hand, and her arms in the other.

With little effort, she was ripped in half.