#spite can be a v powerful motivator

[clairvoyantcubes]

(Looking at all the things that could be done with Absolute Gravity Manipulation has got me thinking that Hearts could (have) potentially become a real problem for, well... the entire multiverse.)

[icycoldninja]

So this is a very specific type of request I have related to reader because I love this concept so much. I always wondered how the Sparda men would react around reader seeking out power while being reckless about it in the process and nearly getting herself killed in the process. Mainly due to her being victimized in the past and hated feeling weak, with her trying to deny her crush Dante, Vergil, Nero or V and trying to emotionally distance herself from them because the minute she falls in love, she thinks, she’s back to square one of being weak (spoiler alert, it doesn’t work, lol) and the Sparda men become super concerned because she is a human being in comparison to them being demon human hybrids.

Ay, here you go!

Sparda boys + V x Fem!Power-seeking!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante sees how driven you are, and immediately remembers his own brother, wondering if you might be another aspect of him like V. Perhaps you represent his feminine side.

-He hates how reckless you are since he's very concerned about your safety and never wants to see you hurt. He tries to convince you to reign it in, but you won't listen.

-It seems you do the exact opposite of what he wants just to spite him. It's petty and upsetting, and eventually Dante has enough. He demands to know what your problem is and why you appear to hate him so much. This resulted in an argument, during which you accidentally revealed your trauma and how you were afraid to embrace your feelings for him for fear of being called weak.

-Dante couldn't believe what you said, and after a brief moment of quiet shock, he walked over, wrapped you in a tight hug, and told you he loved you, and that there was no need to fear him or your feelings because you were not weak. You weren't even close to being weak, you were amazing.

-Dante will help you work through your emotional issues and mental trauma all while reminding you of how dear you are to him.

-He doesn't want you to go down the same route as Vergil, so he'll do his best to help you through your problems.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil knows all about pursuing power and what it does to one's mental and physical health. He was glad that you were motivated to pursue your ambitions, but not like this. You shouldn't recklessly throw yourself in harm's way like that.

-He would have given you a stern lecture, but remembered that there was a time when he was like you, and back then, he wouldn't have wanted to be scolded, it wouldn't have helped.

-Instead, Vergil quietly came up to you and asked why you kept charging into combat without thinking. You didn't want to answer him at first, but he kept those cold eyes trained on you and you eventually broke and told him.

-You confessed how you were afraid to be called weak, how you hated being victimized because of your weakness, how you thought of your own romantic feelings as proof of your weakness, and how you wanted nothing more than to grow stronger.

-Vergil actually understands your feelings, and assured you that falling in love with someone is not weakness, it is more POWER. He knows because he's fallen too, and yes, his crush is you.

-He'll help you through your issues as best he can, but don't forget, he still has his fare share of problems to deal with himself.

□ Nero □

-Nero likes that you have drive, but your obsessive power-seeking reminds him of his useless father.

-Your recklessness also pisses him off, and you giving him the cold shoulder is no help at all. He wonders why you act this way and what he ever did to upset you.

-At one point you charged in like an idiot and nearly died, which naturally made the both of you very angry. Since you two were the only people around, you started yelling at each other, and the argument soon got personal.

-Nero started screaming at you about how much of a crazy, awful person you were, and you fired back saying you were doing all this for the sake of more power. Nero called you mentally and emotionally weak in response and you froze. It took a minute but Nero eventually realized he'd said something wrong.

-You got very quiet and started hysterically mumbling about how you weren't weak, how you were strong, how you had to be strong, and how your feelings meant you were weak after all. Nero heard all this and asked what feelings you were talking about. In the height of your mania, you told him you had a crush on him, and in response, Nero admitted that he had a crush on you too.

-Things were awkward for a while afterward, but you eventually warmed up to Nero, and with great difficulty and emotional turnoil, managed to accept your feelings for him. The two of you then went on to become a badass power couple.

● V ●

-Being part of Vergil, V understood what happens to those who stubbornly chase after power as if it were the only thing keeping them alive.

-He wants you to stop rushing into battle because it's only going to hurt you, but you don't listen. V would physically restrain you, but he lacks the strength.

-Your refusal to even consider his opinions as legitimate alternatives hurt him deeply. Why do you seem to hate him so? He's only trying to help!

-He begs you to sit down and talk with him, and with some reluctance you do. You didn't intend for the talk to get so deep and personal, but it did, and despite your stubborn belief that love is weakness, you felt comfortable around V, like you could trust him with your secrets.

-You told him everything, your fears, insecurities, worries, and everything. You revealed the truth behind your lust for power, that all you wanted was to avoid being weak so you'd never have to be the victim again. You explained how you thought love and other romantic feelings was also weakness, and how you wanted to deny yourself these feelings to avoid getting hurt again.

-V wanted to prove you wrong. He wanted to show you that you weren't weak, that you were already powerful enough, and that falling in love wasn't a bad thing. He might not have much strength, but he can give plenty of hugs and kisses to make up for it.

[tiredpandaportfolio]

Hey-ho, go on and tell us about how much everyone in DMC swears and do include your characters!!

Oh bless you for asking me an easy one on a Monday evening lmao. I do have thoughts a-plenty.

---

Let's start with the least sweary of the bunch and work our way up.

Vergil is almost as obsessed with dignity and an honorable appearance as he is (or was) with power. Swearing is uncouth and very un-Sparda-like, in his opinion. The worst you'll get out of him is a highly threatning "You..." with a full gamut of implied swearing. Or something like "buffoon" or "cretin". He's entirely capable of digging through a thesaurus for obscure ways to insult people.

On the other hand, V will say "shit" when things truly are as dismal as they can get. Quietly, under his breath, but with pathos. Griffon does 90% of the swearing for him. And if we believe Griffon, Shadow does about 9% of the rest but he refuses to repeat what she says, claiming it's too vile. But it's Griffon, who buys it, right?

Now, Kyrie, sweet and lovely Kyrie is a master of the Precision F-Strike. She has the patience of the saints and she's raising three boys and a whole-ass adult child who swears like a sailor. So her moments of dropping F-Bombs are very rare, but always editorial. Kyrie however has the amazing ability to be insanely passive-aggressive when annoyed, all while being incredinbly pleasant... and capable of making "thank you" sound like "fuck you, you soulless bitch".

Roy, Tess' elderly, sweet familiar, has a patience threshold that reaches beyond the moon. He is the epitome of the unflappable, stiff-upper-lip Brit without being British. It takes a lot to motivate him to swearing, but get him there, and he swears quite heartily like a Scottish sailor... and not above employing long-dead languages. But do expect you to insult you on the sly or call you a "silly cabbage" which is somehow more insulting that being called, say, "fuckface", coming from a being as old as he is.

Contrary to his image, Dante swears surprisingly little. He needs to be made really, really mad to start dropping F-Bombs and again, his threshold is pretty high. Childish insults don't count, which is why he'll happily call some hapless demon "buckethead" and shit all over their skills in battle without swearing.

On the other end, Trish will swear only when inconvenienced, and mostly under her breath. She learned swearing from Dante and has become aware that a lot of Dante's swearing is incredibly childish and infantile and therefore cringe. Her association with Lady is definitely helping. She's more likely to laugh at someone than call their mother something unpleasant.

Lady swears when particularly frustrated, which is rather often. And much of the source of her frustration is Dante. Or demons. Or shenanigans that cost her money. Or hijinks that damage her equipment, which costs her money. The woman has many reasons to let it rip and she does. She's very fond of rude gestures.

Nero is the problem child, this kid will start swearing loudly and heartily at the slightest provocation and loves pissing people off by insulting their mothers. He's not very creative about it... yet... but he's getting there as he hangs out with people who know more swear words than he does. He's very good at stealth insults.

As angry and sweary as he is though, there is yet another level he can only aspire to achieve... and he pays attention.

The sweariest and most vehemently offensive of the bunch is Tess who makes up for her small stature and unassuming looks with a wellspring of vulgarity and cursing that is as deep as outer space. Piss her off enough and her speech becomes a constant, uninterrupted stream of vile swearing that can go on without repetition for 5 or 6 minutes in about 4 different languages. Nero is in awe of this woman and Dante winces when she suddenly goes off like a grenade. He is wholly convinced this is a matter of stature-- "She's tiny, so all her rage and spite and swearing gets super concentrated."

[the-belle-siblings]

(Ooc) btw S. V. Left a long message for Terra.

Ooc because this is actually serious stuff to talk about:

Pride wasn't the only thing involved in those situations. It was the will of the individual to act. It cannot all be attributed to something as simple as pride. I didn't even take the comment of being called gay as an insult I was simply explaining that it isn't quite a compliment either. Especially how it's typically used in a derogatory way most times. (It obviously wasn't in your situation but the ask I was given sorta made it out that I had taken it as insult. I did not, Terra was upset that she was told her plans all fail not that she was called gay. I thought it was a point that should be mentioned anyways.)

Being queer is tough, it's full of challenges. It's the power of the individual to realize "Hey, I am actually your equal and your not gonna treat me like crap." That's what gets things done, it's more spite and will then actual pride. That's my point.

Being queer is being beaten down and holding onto the most simple things because we are powerful and spiteful and alive, not prideful. We group around each other, spit on our wounds and stand up even though we're outnumbered, because we know that we don't deserve to be treated as lesser. Pride suggests that we deserve to be put onto a pedestal which isn't at all the case.

Everything we've accomplished is queer spite, queer sweat, queer tears, queer blood, queer love, queer community. We aren't prideful gods above all creation we are simple human beings raising banners with our blood for the sake of life. We are survivors of our every day existence. It is a constant battle and yet recently we have been deceived by our foes and told that the war is over.

It is not over. It has simply just begun.

We still continue to lose our rights because they aren't protected by our government. And we don't fight back! Why? Because "you already have pride month" or "it was worse back in my day." We are actively being gaslit! We hardly have any control over our lives and we're being told "grow up you liberal snowflake."

You can be proud of who you are and not change a damn thing about the world around you. However if you love who you and your community are, you will likely feel spiteful towards those who threaten you. Love is more powerful than pride.

If you love your people you're going to help them. That's where everything comes from. It comes from love and spite. "I hate that you hurt the thing I love so I'll take care of it and show it off!" That's us. It's all about the kindness in our hearts and the motivation for change. Love and Spite. In other words, passion.

Queer Passion > Gay Pride

Pride can only get you so far but with passion, you move forwards no matter what. Because you want that change. You need that change. This whole damn world needs to change.

Oppression is prideful. They view themselves as above others for the reasons they find in a delusional man's novel. They view themselves as above others as a desperate cling to power. They are prideful, selfish, idiotic, and greedy.

That's why I believe in passion over pride.

Though Pride month does sound a bit better than Passion month I must admit.

I'm saying this as queer person who struggles with their gender identity and sexuality. I've been called slurs and misgendered and deadnamed. When it comes to myself I get the adrenaline rush and I drop it. However if I hear it about my brother or one of my friends I'm legit ready to lay someone out.

I have legitimately almost fought someone for calling my brother a slur. That isn't pride! That's love for my family and friends and my community! That's spite and rage towards my oppressors! Me shouting as I'm shaking in anger and fear isn't my pride, it is my individual passion to help those I care about!

We are brave passionate individuals and we need to step up and do something about the way our world is. Boycott products run by homophobic people, spread awareness posts, start protests in the streets, give speeches, run for office, ANYTHING OTHER THAN SITTING AROUND DOING NOTHING!!!

Sorry for the very long rant though I'm just very passionate about this kind of topic.

[raraeavesmoriendi]

I know I’m always muttering about this on twitter but I feel like I’ve seen enough frustrated grumbling on here to mention this now:

seeing a character you love mistreated in canon? is an excellent jumping off point for making your own OC/world/story and running with them

seriously. take the most basic parts of the person/the world that attracted you to them, and then add your own spice: what else would your ideal version of that character have? what fun little things do you like that you think they’d also be into? what motifs/symbolism/themes do you think would’ve been so perfect for your late blorbo from whatever that the version you fell for (now referred to as The Prototype) that were never applied?

the other really cool part is once you make your own, you get to apply shit no one would’ve associated with that character originally that you just think is neat, but maybe could’ve never justified in a canon-adjacent au fic or something like that. you have a weirdly specific interest in something that never comes up in the thing you’re doing better? boom, so does your little new scrimblo now. you want to set it in a different time period or country entirely? awesome, you can do that. we’re in space now? sure, let’s go for it.

then just take the part where your blorbo got done dirty and go “anyway fuck that, here’s what I’m doing” and there’s your plot to build your own world from. you need a monster? congrats, you get to make the monster. you need an antagonist (bc a monster and an antagonist are not necessarily the same)? make it make more sense and seem more well-thought out than what you got originally. you need a new specific thing/event that gets your blorbo in a room with other characters? cool, you get to make that and make them too.

not to mention? if you wanna make them actually gay or bi or ace or trans or disabled, and not just working off headcanons, you absolutely can 🤘🏻 and there will never be any interview with some well-meaning actor/writer/creator whatever that says otherwise, bc that shit is all you now, babeyyyy

don’t get me wrong, fix-it fics are great and in a whole a league of their own, and I respect them immensely. they do valuable transformative work and mean a lot to the people in fandom 🖤 if that’s what you need to do, do that and do that merrily.

I just wanted to say that (though I know I mostly talk about my OCs who bloomed out of love for a genre rather than anything more specific), as someone who has more than once seen their fave from some big media conglomerate get axed/character-assassinated and went “no ❤️”, I now have multiple (currently backburner) projects where I said “okay but here’s how I’m going to do this and do this properly,” and I have to say that making your own homemade blorbo from scratch

a. is insanely rewarding

and b. will probably be a much more interesting and varied version based on what’s usually allowed in a mainstream show/film/book etc. these days.

it takes a different kind of work than traditional fanfic (instead of clicking puzzle pieces into place, it’s more improvising on a recipe with a few basic generic ingredients), but as long as you distinguish your version to make it completely yours, it’s a deeply valid part of the creative process.

ultimately, do whatever you find most creatively fulfilling and go with that, it’s all for fun and what you get from your own work is more important. people in the mood for a puzzle aren’t always looking to wander off and bake, and that’s totally fine and understandable.

but the way I’ve seen more than a few of my moots write, I think their version they made entirely themselves would be so much better than a lot of big corporate stories by a multitude of ten 👀 js 🖤

[theunconcernedembalmer]

More modern AU featuring two sets of twins and Michiko. More ramblings under the cut.

RUBS HANDS TOGETHER YA SO LIKE for the wu chang twins I went with their intersection bishounen hair cos,,,,, no one,,,,, actually has braids like that,,,,, right now,,,,,,,, LOL YA I mean,,, it used to be a Hairstyle in the past but now,,,, not so,,,,,, Also canonically they’re technically blood brothers,,, not really twins,,, but they have different surnames and they look similar not counting my same face syndrome,,,,, im not gonna address that,,,, nope,,,,, they twins now (Actually there’s one possibility.............. that they have different fathers.................... but thats................... uhhhhhh...................... something i dont wanna go into we’re gonna casually disregard that here....................)

Also Fan is supposed to be the more emo one(?) and Xie is more gentle I feel like that’s one of the only ways to distinguish them HAHAHAHAHA THEIR IB SKIN HAIRSTYLES ARE THE SAME OK but Fan would wear like a black hoodie over white uniform ye. The chinese in the corner is just me amusing myself with chinese puns...................... idk if I can explain them HAHAHAHA THEYRE REALLY BAD IF ANYONE ELSE KNOWS CHINESE IM SORRY IM VERY VERY VERY LAME i also have not written chinese in forever i actually had to look up how half the words look like......... im a disgrace........ my chinese handwriting also sucks all my teachers agree lol im so sure anyone who says so otherwise is trying to sell me something HAHAHAHAHA

As for the Desaulnier twins I’d die for fencer Joseph ok and photographer Claude????? Yes ok so like here I made (muahahahahha in this au i call the shots. such power.) that Joseph picks up photography because of his brother. This has so much room for angst neeheeheehee BUT ANYWAY I really love,,,,, that hairstyle for Claude,,,,,, I don’t even know if its modern but,,,,,,,, I’d like to believe,,,,,,, let me have my pretty boiz,,,,,,,,,,,

Meanwhile Michiko is the mom friend. The only one with common sense. The absolute senpai. I think that goes without saying

[kenrik]

Strong v Weak

Just random notes/rambling again, since I really really reaallyyyy cannot expound/dive deep because I'm supposed to be focused on something else -- and this is just a way to relieve stress!! *kenrik pulls out hair*

It's pretty long rambling this time! Be sure you wanna click ahaha

I've mentioned this in a fic maybe. In a comment, a review, I don't know.

Another point about GoUta -

1. Gojo is a good, dependable person packaged in a bad personality.

Gojo can do anything. His character sheet says he doesn't get involved in a lot of things, because he's a master of everything he does.

Out of the strongest, he prides himself - he knows he is the strongest.

Basically, that character Gojo Satoru, he can do anything. As far as canon is concerned, there are four special grade sorcerers if I remember correctly. Additionally, you have the notable characters that Gojo identifies as definitively strong.

I'm thinking Geto, Yuki, Yuta, Hakari, those from the Zen'in too I guess.

Out of all these strong characters, what do they do? Geto - he forms himself a cult and kills nonsorcerers. Yuki - she's labeled as a good for nothing slacker who travels in search for a different solution to the issue of curses. And Hakari - he quits sorcery and runs a fighting den.

Gojo, who can do anything he sets his mind to. What does he choose to do? That guy chose to be a teacher. He chose to be a protector of the weak. Regardless of why, he chose to serve and protect the weak.

I don't know if this is appreciated enough.

Gojo could do anything. He has the riches, the looks, the power to do anything and everything. He could've turned and worked with Geto. Hell, he could've started his own cult and floored Geto's from the start. He could've been a trust fund baby, could've wasted away in luxury. He could do anything. Anything. But he doesn't. He sticks to his code of protecting the weak. Why is anyone's guess. My guess is that it's a point of pride with him; that his strength is everyone's salvation (like a true god on earth), that; and that he has a softness - as seen from Gege's past works. Maybe as a penance for failing to save Suguru, for not being there when his friend needed him most. He seems to really take pride in the fact that no one can touch him and in extension, those who matter to him.

In Ch. 65, he rushes to save Mei and Utahime. He acts rashly. He acted on impulse. Because I think Gege wants to show that Gojo treasures his friends. That's why you have the - you crying, utahime?! I think Gege put that to downplay Gojo's kindness. This is also why Gojo took it very bad - Geto's betrayal. Because this time - his power couldn't save him. He was a kid then, (teenager i guess, but i'm old so i'm calling him a kid) who's used to his power fixing all his problems. And this once, with Geto - he couldn't. It would be way easier if it was just another Toji, just another curse. But it wasn't. It was this man he respected who's become the monster.

Gojo is a very complex character whose motivations we may never truly know because JJK; it'll only be a story of a great battle if I understand correctly.

But the fact is, he is a good person, a dutiful man. That's why, entering into the fandom surprised me - because the fans keep painting him like an asshole and a dick. I don't get it when you have actual asshole characters like Naoya and the other members of the Zen'in clan... Ahahaha.

To me, Gojo's character is a fun-loving friend to his peers; he's a man who could do anything. And he chose to be a teacher. He chose to protect and support the next generation of sorcerers. He's a good egg packaged in a trash personality ahaha. He's basically a kind man who - in the true toxic masculinity shounen way - hides his emotions because emotion is weakness!!

This is why I ship him and Uta. Aside from the chemistry, I think he really is a good guy! :^) Everything he does has purpose. When he picks on Gakuganji, there's hate and spite there. When he does it do Utahime, there's a fondness there. He lets Yaga headlock him for heaven's sakes! I think he also doesn't let Utahime hit him whenever she retaliates to lord over her how much stronger he was than her... because that riles her up even more so... just him being a special brand of ass - just for her~ xD So hehe - Gojo is a highly complex, nuanced character not everyone will understand, by us, the readers, even his own friends in the story. :D

Second GoUta point -

2. Utahime is the only combatant (among the protagonists' group) that Gege's introduced who is definitively weak.

She is just a semi-first grade sorcerer.

I know Miwa always says she's useless. But she's just on her second year. She can very well reach first grade by Utahime's level; seeing how Atsuya is a first grade himself with the same technique as her.

So really, it's just Utahime who is shown as a weak character. She's had more than enough time in field, and yet; she's just a semi-first grade.

Without knowing her CT, without seeing her in battle, it is hard to confirm if she really is weak/useless. It is something the plot will spell out for us eventually. For now, we have Inumaki who is a semi-first grade. And he was arguably strong against Hanami, a special grade curse. So, I don't know how weak Utahime is if Toge's the benchmark for a semi-first grade's skill. But being a semi-first grade at Utahime's age, I don't think that's a point of pride. Instead, it shows how her skill is stagnant; it definitively shows that she lacks skill to get promoted.

Additionally, out of everyone - even the students - you have Nobara, Yuuji, and Maki who were all being recommended for first grade.

Everyone's surpassing Utahime. She is the only one who isn't getting stronger. She is the only one considered weak. Everyone seems to defend her. You have Gojo always looking out for her. You have Atsuya stepping in front of her. You have Nishimiya as her support.

And I find that peculiar. I find that odd.

In a manga where everyone's abilities are highlighted; where everyone's abilities are a point of pride - even Mei's who thought her CT was weak because all she could do was control crows. Mei; she learned; she developed the power to wield her axe; she became strong enough to be a first grade sorcerer.

Really doesn't make sense to me - that Utahime is labeled as weak. That Utahime is just a semi-first grade sorcerer given her experience.

So, I want to say that Utahime is weak by design. Utahime is a semi-first grade sorcerer because Gege's story needs her/wants her to be.

Why? Who knows?

I can only assume GoUta's written in somewhere there.

Strong v Weak is a recurring trope that Gege's dabbled with in his past works. Strong v Weak is a popular trope.

I'm certain that this is a trope Gege's excited to put his own twist to.

Maybe. Haha

Utahime is a shrine maiden. Her technique involves singing.

Shrine maidens - it's not a role cast randomly and willy-nilly. There is a lore there, a history with the character type. Linked to the gods. Possessed by gods. Can purify, exorcise, perform rituals, seal.

I like thinking that Utahime is weak because she needs to source her energy/her power. Like how Gakuganji's body is the medium/is the amplifier for his power; Utahime's the medium/vessel from which the power of gods/deities are channeled. Shrine maidens are known for performing rituals, it takes time to harness their power. They usually take from the power of their shrine and in extension, from the gods that they serve.

If her power is structured this way, it would make sense to me why Gojo sees her/thinks her as weak. Because unlike him who channels waves of energy - like Yuta who's just a bomb of insane levels of cursed energy; Utahime has to source her power elsewhere. Because she is just a medium/a vessel for the power of the deities. It also makes sense, because she does need to buff her power, it's shown in the manga.

It'll be funny to me too, as a shipper; because Gojo basically sees himself as a god/the honored one he says haha. So having Utahime need a god to unleash her technique... just - they're just a match made in heaven aren't they... ompf xD

Gege is a buff for his Japanese history and folklore... So it'll be interesting to see how he envisions Utahime's character.

Finally, it's fun playing around with Gojo and Utahime's dynamic. They're a funny pair. So funny in fact - that they are always portrayed as arguing, bickering fools who hate each other. That bonus chapter with them was funny.

It's really funny.

Because all this, I believe; is by Gege's design. And he's more than happy to fan the flames of Gojo and Utahime's hateful relationship. Because there's something deeper waiting for their relationship in the plot.

As always, it's just me rambling. Could be nothing. I'm not Gege.

Just really a curious notion I thought to type down. :D

- that Gojo is hated when he's basically everyone's protector; and

- that Utahime is the only weak character from among the sorcerers.

[oliviamillss]

reading dreams chart

im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao

**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**

sun:

sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 

sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.

sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.

sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.

sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.

moon:

moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao

moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg

moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.

moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 

mercury:

mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 

mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.

mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.

mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*

mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator

mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)

venus:

venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 

venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 

venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’

venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 

venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 

mars:

mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.

mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.

mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss

mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.

mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 

mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.

jupiter

jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.

jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.

jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.

saturn:

saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?

saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo

saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn

saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 

uranus: 

uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 

uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.

uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 

neptune:

neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.

neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.

neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 

pluto:

pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.

north node:

north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.

chiron:

chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)

lilith:

lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 

lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.

lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming

moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 

 i ought to mention!!

there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.

summary!!!

basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.

im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol

hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3

[artdev]

I’m probably gonna get attacked for this lol

Tommy Character Analysis

From a sane yet angry child

The character of Tommyinnit is one of the worst characters on the entirety of the Dream SMP. Yes, the other characters have their flaws, and they have all done some very horrible things, but Tommy has continuously made bad decisions. These decisions have done nothing good for himself and have caused suffering for the other members of the SMP. In this essay I will provide reason to the fact character Tommy fucking sucks and every other character, yes including Dream, are so much better and have redeeming qualities to their characters. I will give a disclaimer: this is about THE CHARACTERS not the CONTENT CREATORS

Tommy’s First Days on the SMP

Tommy’s first day on the SMP was the last day of peace that server would ever see. From the get-go Tommy did nothing but cause nothing but problems for the original people on the server (Dream, George, Sapnap, Bad, Sam, Ponk, Callahan, and Alyssa) which resulted in a ban from not only from Dream, after refusing to obey under his exile he was put in, himself but also from George. The bans were lifted but everything spiraled from that point on. Tommy was the spark that started the disc war. This was a war that spanned over a series of months because Tommy would not stop killing Dream, so in return Dream confiscated tommy’s discs as a punishment, it was Dreams server, so he was not going to let Tommy go around causing problems without consequence.

Quick history

L ’Manburg

L’ Manburg started out as nothing but a drug caravan, started by Wilbur and tommy, would grow into a large country separated by large black walls keeping everyone out and let only a select few in. After a war Tommy did the only selfless thing, he would ever do in his whole time on the SMP. He gave up one of his discs for L’Manburg’s independence, after losing a dule with Dream. In all this tommy keeps up his thieving and antagonizing ways.

The election

The election was Wilbur’s attempt to regain power and respect within his country, there were multiple parties, POG 2020 (Wilbur and Tommy), SWAG 2020 (Quackity), Schlatt 2020 (JSchlatt). POG 2020 was the overall winner but was beat out by 1% by Schlatt and Quackity who had formed a coalition. With Schlatt as the president and Quackity as the Vise President the country is changed to Manburg, the walls are torn down, and Tommy and Wilbur have their citizenship is revoked and are banned from Manburg.

Pogtopia and Manburg v Pogtopia

Pogtopia was the ravine that served as a base for Tommy and Wilbur after the election. This is when techno (my fuckin beloved) had joined and sided with Tommy and Wilbur with the promise of chaos and war. With techno on their side, they start to build up and prepare for war. The war between Pogtopia (with the old residents of Manburg) and Manburg (pretty much everyone else on the server). The war ended with Schlatt having a heart attack in the remains of the destroyed drug van, Tubbo becoming president of Manburg, followed by Wilbur blowing up the country, with assistance from techno, and his grand death at the hands of his father.

Exile

Tommy was sent into his third exile by Tubbo after Tommy once again was causing problems for Tubbo and the new L ’Manburg. Tommy was sent thousand and thousands of blocks away from the greater SMP and he was not allowed to return unless he wanted to die. After spending months in exile with Dream coming by every day and taking Tommy’s things, and tommy almost taking his last canon life, tommy had escaped exile and went to the closest place he could go. Tommy set up a base under Technoblades retirement home and was soon discovered by Techno. Despite Tommy stealing Techno’s items and just being a annoying ass bitch, Techno let Tommy stay. With the help of techno tommy was able to sneak in and out of L’ Manburg.

Final L’ Manburg War

After a confrontation in the remains of a now destroyed community house, Tommy had sided with Tommy, another declaration of war, with Dream and techno going to blow up L’ Manburg. Tommy planed with the other members to gather resources to face off the most powerful people on the server. In the end L’ Manburg lost and was destroyed with nothing left but a sizable crater in its place.

The end of the disc war and drams imprisonment

The end of season two of the SMP was the end of the disc war, after tommy and Tubbo meet up with Dream at the top of a large mountain, where the three fought to get the discs. Dream eventually leads the two brits to a bunker where Dream had been collecting the attachments on the server, like Tommy’s cow henry, Ghostbur’s sheep Friend, and open slots for other pets and Skeppy. While Dream was going to kill Tubbo he was stopped when the entirety of the SMP, lead by Punz, came through the nether portal that led into Dream’s base. They surrounded Dream and caused him to surrender, and landed him in pandoras vault, a large prison built by Sam under Dreams request. Whist Dream has been in prison Tommy has visited a few times and has done nothing but was nothing but an annoying child to an already suffering man. During what was supposed to be Tommy’s last visit he ended up being locked in the cell with Dream due to a potential security breach in the prison, meaning tommy was stuck with Dream for what was only supposed to be a week. Tommy was stuck with Dream for more than a week, like was stated in the terms and conditions of the prison, this extended time alone with Dream was bad for the both of them and it led to tommy losing his last canon life. Tommy was revived by Dream three days later and was freed from the prison shortly after, now out and full of fresh trauma.

Present events

After being revived and released back into the world tommy swore that he would kill Dream. As of tommy’s most recent lore stream there was an attempt. Tommy armed with invisibility and fire res pots, under the cover of Ghostbur paying Dream a visit, snuck into the prison to kill Dream. When tommy finally go to Dream’s cell, he got to trigger happy and took out the axe to soon which ended in tommy being caught by Sam and left Ghostbur stranded with Dream on the other side of the lava. Now that Dream had Ghostbur he would be able to bring Wilbur back and that exactly was happened, Wilbur is now back and as crazed as ever with 13 and a half years of isolation on top of that.

Tommy and His Trauma

I will not ignore Tommy’s trauma, nor will I downplay what he’s been through, cause truly been through a lot. That being said his trauma should not be used as an excuse to blow off what he’s done, if one is going to do that you better danm well not go around and ignore others trauma. Tommy has been through some horrible things, his exile, Dream’s manipulation, being beat to death in prison then being revived, losing not only a brother figure but also a place he called home, as well as the manipulation from Wilbur, these things can really do some damage to a kid or an adult. Tommy though uses his trauma to excuse any wrong thing he does. There are characters on the SMP with similar trauma, Jack Manifold was the first character to come lose all his canon lives but he came back out of spite, both Tommy and Jack went through something similar. Jack, however, doesn’t use this trauma to make excuses for being a massive prick. Jack uses what he’s been through as motivation, while it’s one of his motivations to do something bad, but he doesn’t use it as a hindrance. Now let’s look at someone has experienced the same things as Tommy, Tubbo, Tubbo went through almost everything Tommy went through plus more. Tubbo was manipulated by Dream, saw his country get blown up TWICE, hell he had to mourn the death of his best friend on TWO SEPREATE OCCASIONS, he was killed by someone he thought he could be trusted, was manipulated as well as verbally abused by Schlatt when working in his cabinet. Tubbo has gone on to build his own little town, start a family, he had run a country pretty danm well and created NUKES. Tubbo doesn’t let what happened to him hold him back from doing great things or keep him stuck in his old ways, Tubbo was able to break from what he originally was, a side kick, and has done wonders.

Tommy and His Relationships

Keep in mind this is not about whether Tommy cares about people it’s about how he acts and how that affects others. Tommy cares people so I cannot shame him for that, but despite that he still causes problems for said people.

Tommy and Dream

Tommy and Dream have never gotten along, anyone with fuckin eyes can see that from a mile away, they are always at each other’s throats and always butting heads. Dream is normally pretty levelheaded, until Tommy comes around. When Tommy was trapped in the cell with dream that was bad from the start, but the extended time was even worse. Tommy has always been an aggressor towards Dream, during the war for L ’Manburg when Dream was meeting with Wilbur, Tommy lashed out at Dream and put the independence of this new nation on the line to try and fight Dream. Now on to more recent examples, Tommy’s death. When Tommy was trapped with Dream in the cell Dream was pretty stand offish, if anything he was excited at first, being stuck in a cell with no one to talk to is pretty fuckin lonely. That excitement was sure to be short lived. Tommy is quick to start antagonizing Dream, hitting him, hurling insults at him, and just being all around unpleasant, Tommy would also take things like Dream’s clock and books and throw them into the lava just to upset him. Tommy also killed the one thing in prison that Dream had, a cat that he named hope, another thing Tommy took away just to show “what happens to things you care about”. All these things would build up over time which lead to Dreams burst of anger and caused Tommy’s death.

Tommy and Technoblade

Time to get absolutely PISSED. Techno was never a person to Tommy, he was just the Blade, a weapon to be used till he was not needed. Ever since Techno first logged on Tommy though he had scary dog privileges, getting mad at techno for when he went and assisted Wilbur in the destruction of L ’Manburg when techno had made it clear he was not a fan of government. After Tommy had fled from his exile he went to hide under Techno’s home without Techno’s knowledge, before he was discovered by Techno, he would steal from him and use them in useless ways, such as decorating his hidey hole with gold blocks or how he stole Techno’s gapples and ate them when he didn’t need to, practically wasting them. Once he was found by Techno, Techno let Tommy live with him despite being a leach, he let tommy eat the gapples, and even assisted in getting tommy in and out of L ’Manburg, he even hid Tommy from dream and lied to one of the most powerful people on the server to keep tommy safe. Techno was very patient with Tommy and what does Tommy do? He goes around and goes back to Tubbo, the man who exiled him in the first place, actively backstabbing Techno, and when him and Dream team up and destroy L ’Manburg for the second time he has THE GULL to get mad and shame Techno for it, it’s fucking awful.

Tommy and Tubbo

Tommy and Tubbo are great friends, I can’t lie about that, but he still manages to make shitty decisions that affect him. When Tubbo was president of the New L ’Manburg Tommy started causing trouble, all starting when he (and Ranboo) burned down George’s house, forcing Tubbo to put his vice president under a probation. Even after being put under the probation, he still caused problems. Tommy made Tubbo choose between the safety and freedom for his country or his best friend staying, in the end it was tommy’s fault for being casted into exile, he just wouldn’t behave and follow the rules. He also constantly pushed Tubbo’s trauma to the side to put a spotlight on his own, making him the center of attention, ignoring someone who’s supposed to be his best friend. Now, I will say, he did do something good for Tubbo, during the final disc confrontation he gave Dream the disc’s they were fighting so hard for in return for Tubbo’s safety, I have to give credit when credit is due.

To The C!Tommy Apologists

I know people are going to come after me for this, to any Tommy apologists reading this, please just can it /nm. In canon tommy is about 20 something? You can’t keep using “Oh HeS a ChILd!’ CC!Tommy is a child. Yes, I understand he’s traumatized, so is every other character on the SMP, he isn’t special. Also, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE US DREAM APOLOGISTS ALONE. All your arguments are so similar and you all thing dream, who is obviously mentally ill, deserves the everyday beating which is incredibly fucked up. Now I know not ALL Tommy apologists are like this but it is a lot of them, regardless of what dream did, he does not deserve to be rarely fed and he does not deserve the constant torture. Also please stop wit the whole ‘dream is obsessed with tommy’ shit, I can’t remember the tag for it at the time of writing this, but it is the creepiest thing I’ve seen and everyone portrays dream to be some yandere stalker and its just not poggers to be honest, and it comes off as very predatory which is ALSO not poggers. To any tommy apologists friends I know IRL this is not directed at you and just know I love y’all.

[twistedtummies2]

Good & Evil - Villains

Welcome to Good & Evil: A Study of Heroes & Villains. I’m discussing different forms of heroic and villainous characters, different types of protagonists and antagonists, and providing examples of them each from various sources. Last time, I talked about the basic Hero archetype. So it only makes sense we follow up the most basic form of protagonist with the most basic form of antagonist, the Villain. Now, when I say “Villain,” I’m not talking about sympathetic villains, or noble villains, or other villains who you can feel sorry for or even greatly agree with on some level. They’re actually going to be a different category. I’m talking about VILLAINS, with a Capital V. These are the bad guys, plain and simple. These are the characters who do terrible things usually for no good reason at all. Sometimes they’re seeking money, sometimes they’re seeking power, sometimes they’re seeking retribution of some sort…sometimes, they’re just seeking sick pleasure. Whatever the motive and whatever the goal, the Villain is a truly despicable character, with little to no redeeming values to them as a person…and, oddly enough, we often love them for that exact reason. While there are some villains who are designed and rightfully notorious for being “Pure Monsters” - characters the audience reviles and loathes and wants to see punished with all their souls - I often find the best villains are those who can be described as characters we love to hate. It’s a fine line between the two, not easy to define, but I think most people agree that the most wonderful villains are those who, despite being such deplorable creatures, are somehow intriguing and even fun to watch. Sometimes it’s because they’re humorous, sometimes it’s because they’re so imposing, but no matter what the reason, they are eternally fascinating. But why? Why do Villains capture us with the same fervor Heroes do? Indeed, for many people - myself included - Villains are usually MORE interesting than the heroes they face. What makes us feel so drawn to these denizens of darkness? To answer that question, let’s look at a few “Capital V Villains” I feel typically exemplify this idea.

We’ll start this run with a character that many people on my page should be familiar with: Maleficent, from Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. In her initial appearance, Maleficent is not a terribly complex villainess: she is the Dark Fairy, an evil entity of spite and cruelty. She has no compunctions with placing a DEATH CURSE on an INNOCENT BABY just because SHE WASN’T INVITED TO THE FREAKING BIRTHDAY PARTY. Without getting into all the potential lore and politics involved, which I know fans LOVE to play with and theorize, that’s still a remarkably cruel and petty thing to do…but the extremes she goes to in the story, treating this simple snub like an act of war, are part of what make her fascinating. Maleficent is cold and heartless, but there are indications of something almost sad about her under the surface: she genuinely cares for her pet raven, Diablo, seeming horrified when the Three Good Fairies take him out, and treating him with a kindness and fairness she shows no other creature in the story. It’s also indicated that, under her malevolent facade, she’s actually somewhat lonely: “Maleficent doesn’t know anything about love, or kindness, or the joy of helping others,” one of her enemies points out. “You know, sometimes I don’t think she’s really very happy!” None of this excuses her actions, of course, but it creates an intriguing mystery about Maleficent, and it’s the mixture of mystery, intensity, and the sheer aesthetic power of the character - along with the equaled power of her voicework - that makes her so interesting.

On the note of mystery and empathy, as well as my favorite villains, let’s talk about arguably the greatest supervillain of all time, the Joker. Batman’s arch-enemy is a notorious poster child for a character who does terrible things basically just for the sheer Hell of it, yet remains enjoyable despite this. And keep in mind, the Joker’s crimes are some of the most heinous and horrible of arguably any fictional character: he beats a young boy to a pulp, till he’s on the brink of the abyss, and leaves him to die in an exploding warehouse; he shoots a young lady through the pelvis, paralyzing her for life, then takes photos of her naked body to help torture her father and try to drive him crazy; he shoots a police woman trying to save a number of innocent babies he’s planning to massacre through the head for really no good reason at all; the list goes on and on. As if the crimes themselves weren’t bad enough, many of these actions have far-reaching consequences, and while some of these characters eventually overcome the mental and physical wounds the Joker leaves behind, the scars themselves never truly fade.

What makes the Joker so fascinating is a combination of several elements. One is the fact we don’t really know his true past; in the comics, at least, his true origin has never been firmly established. And even with the more tragic depictions of his history, they do not excuse his hideous actions in any way. Another element is his philosophy, which becomes disturbingly easier to empathize with as time goes on. The Joker sees the world as a dark, cruel, chaotic place; he believes that goodness is false, that justice and morality are a bad joke, that all the things people conventionally value and desire are complete and total nonsense. So he openly gives up rationality and ethics, embracing madness and sadistic pleasure with gleeful abandon. While his evil deeds are hardly laudable, the bitterest amongst us can unsettlingly see where he’s coming from. His dark sense of humor is the last big point: the Joker is a character who makes you enjoy awful things right alongside him...then you stop and realize what you’re laughing at, and you wonder just what’s wrong with you, in turn.

On the note of philosophy and empathy, some villains use this as a smokescreen. The audience is fully aware that they are terrible people, but the character is able to use such things to their advantage, making themselves seem better than they really are. Perhaps the most popular example of this is Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars saga. Palpatine doesn’t exactly hide his evil: he dresses in a dark hooded cloak, has creepy yellow eyes, and so on. But he’s an exceptionally crafty manipulator: he uses his advanced age as a blind, making people believe he’s not as dangerous as he really is, and knows how to appeal to the better nature of other people. He toys with Anakin Skywalker’s emotions, turning him to the Dark Side with sinister ease; he paints himself as someone seeking peace and order, when really, all he wants is power and death. He’s able to fool people using words of goodness, steadily gaining power through diplomatic means, but he is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He makes himself seem empathetic to the world around him, making it harder for people to know the true monster he really is till they experience it firsthand.

Some villains are deceiving in other ways; they don’t really try to justify their actions to the world, but they still manage to trick the audience or other characters around them. The Major from Hellsing is, at first glance, not the most dangerous of dastardly demons. In a world of vampires, ghouls, monster hunters, and so on, he is - at least at first impression - not only deceptively human, but deceptively unthreatening. He’s rotund, not especially tall, nearly always wears a jolly smile, and often behaves more like a merry gentleman than a cold-hearted animal. He’s not even a very good fighter! However, under this unimposing surface, the Major is the single most evil and most repugnant creature anyone could ever meet: a warmonger of the highest order, he wants nothing more than to spread carnage and bloodshed, simply for its own sake. He doesn’t want profit or power out of it, he just wants to see war happen because he LOVES war. He wants to see people fight and die and struggle and suffer for no other purpose than its own bloody existence. A meaningless, brutal war that has no real reason to happen other than for him to, quite bluntly, get off on it. And while he has no great powers of his own, his charisma and intelligence allow him to make such a thing happen with frequently gory consequences.

Of course, some villains are neither empathetic nor deceiving in any way, shape, or form. Freddy Kruger - the main antagonist of the “Nightmare on Elm Street” series of horror films - is, to be blunt, a sick freak with no redeeming qualities at all, when you really look at him. He is utterly unrepentant in his villainy, and his crimes are some of the most hideous and gut-sickening sorts of all time. He’s a former child killer, and a presumed bad seed, “the bastard son of a hundred maniacs.” After being rightfully destroyed by his victims’ families, he refuses to die, and becomes a dream-traveling monster who enjoys tormenting his victims before sadistically and gruesomely axing them off. He has no regrets, no major ambitions, no real cause to fight for: he is evil and cruel and vicious just because he wants to be, and does not even have the courtesy to look nice while he’s at it. A monster from top to bottom, inside and out, plain and simple. So, we ask again…what makes all these characters, and so many more, so fascinating to us? Why do we dress up as them for Halloween or Comic Con? Why do we write books about them, or create theories about them? Why do we reinvent them, time and time again, and get so excited when they pop up? Well, there’s one thing all five of these characters - and many more like them - have in common: they ENJOY what they do. No matter what they’re doing, no matter how wicked or perverse, the villains we love to hate have a BLAST doing what they do. They laugh, they smile, they crack jokes, they prance around…they get so into it that it’s hard not to get into it with them. They can be funny in how they play with their victims, they can be endearing in how they revel in their sins. But why is THAT then? Why do we find that enjoyment of evil so attractive? Ultimately, I think the reason is one that many have suggested in the past, so it’s nothing you haven’t heard before. It is, however, nonetheless true: the villains we love-to-hate appeal to us because Villains, in general, represent the dark side of humanity. Just as Heroes are emblems of all the good things we wish humans could be, Villains show us all the bad things humans could be. They are the people who not only give into temptation, but embrace their inner monster with a passion and zeal that is honestly hard to find in the real world. Whether they make us shudder or make us grin (or somehow do both at once), Villains are the inner evils we all know we could be capable of if we just let go of our inhibitions. That’s why actors find them fun to play, why writers always enjoy conjuring them up…and why you can even end up forming crushes on them, if you’re mad enough, I suppose. In short: Villains are essentially the reverse role models of Heroes, a reflection of the beast that lurks inside every human heart. They are the clowns that kill, the godmothers that curse, the warriors without a cause, the devils who rule…the nightmares we never want to forget. Lucifer Bless Their Hearts.

[pyroaress]

Alrighty I’m doing my verses page next but a lot of them are gonna be blurbs to fit neatly on a page rather then a whole. So here I’ll go ahead and expand on it for my own lore and canon dumps starting with post game XY

v. POST

This is some time after the destruction of the super weapon and Lysandre’s whereabouts are unknown. Most of the region and officials pronounce him dead and Flare scattered. Their headquarters is destroyed and only scant places like the labs and various hideouts are what’s left behind.

 Malva is nowhere in the mass of it all. She absolutely must keep a low profile to keep her role in Flare an absolute secret. In the original plans she was only to come back to Lysandre when everything was complete just for the supposedly small error margin should something go awry so her cover isn’t blown. 

And yes, it absolutely did thanks to a group of teenagers and their spiteful will to stop them.

Malva is absolutely devastated and almost inconsolably so. Little of it was for the fall of this “perfect world” vision and most of it was the loss of someone she held incredibly dear to her. She could not however express this beyond being very distant and outwardly angry in mourning. Her fellow Elites chalked this as feeling sympathetic pain for Kalos without actually realizing the depth of it all. She wanted no consoling or break from duties either when they reached out. This is why she’s blistering angry when the protag faces her in the Elite Four and unlike the half assed, forgettable battles she puts up on the regular this time it was incredibly heated and very personal. At the end of the battle and she looses however, all her emotional weight is lifted if just a little. Malva would hate to admit the protag helped her come out of her rut but at least she can start to move on past here.

Flare WILL continue to exist if she had any say in it. Malva would start to concept plans but a certain Mr Looker came waltzing in with a lot of evidence pointing out her role in Flare. Thankfully his target wasn’t her, it was Xerosic and Essentia ( Emma ). To this day she STILL doesnt know how Looker got anything incriminating on her, but in order to get the law’s eyes off of her should she go on with Flare operations in the future she agreed to help stop the two. They made a deal though. He can not reveal any information on her to anyone else if she agreed to allow them access to Flare’s most restricted areas for the case ( and telling the protag to tell Looker to piss off and he owes her a favor lol ). 

Currently her motive with Flare is not big super weapons or anything quite typical of “bad guys” grand schemes, no no. She’s long realized that influence is true key to change. Flare exists as operatives in large corporations, hired nurses in pokemon centers keeping track of trainer and pokemon trends, tapped holo casters, censorship of certain news and reports, and of course corrupt politicians in the Kalos ministry in the pocket of Flare. There are even influential trainers and pokemon elitist existing as double agents as well. It’s still deeply entrenched in Kalos and only the very careful can notice their subtle but very real influence all guided by Malva and her powerful connections. 

She made sure to enlist only the best and most trusted operatives from former Flare however. A lot of old Flare members still think the team has been defunct since the explosion.

While all this is going on Malva still holds face as one of Kalos’ Elite Four, head reporter and one of Kalos’ elite class. 

She still holds hope Lysandre is still out there and alive.   

[severusish]

Snape Asks response 1

I received a question from @utterlybyrone, regarding @bloatsome’s Snape Ask list. And I shall answer it!

The ask from Anon was: “I have so many Snape Asks I'd like to see you answer, but let's start with those: 10., 17., 50.”

So let’s do this. (just in case, T/W: mentions of ab*se, b*llying, tr*uma, t*rture). 

10. Do you think Snape’s character has changed the way you think/feel about others?

Yes. Maybe not changed, but contributed to the way I think. Why? In my view Severus can teach us that a little kindness and good listening from others (and from you), as well as remorse and forgiveness, can go a really long way when it comes to making you a better person and keeping you from going down a dark path in life. Snape’s character inspired me to read books such as On Being Nice, and You’re Not Listening, and The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read. There are a lot of lessons on the consequences of tr*uma and b*llying that Snape’s character can teach readers. I know that Snaters tend to say “okay but what about poisoning Trevor the Toad,” and “what about his treatment of Neville,” and also “ew why was he so obsessed with Lily,” and “why did he choose Lily over Harry and James.” But if you look past those arguments and you just analyse what happened to Severus as a character, you start to see the extent to which his upbringing and life in general were just sh*t. I mean to start off, he grew up in an almost loveless household (Eileen clearly cared for him but couldn’t do so as freely as she would have liked) with a definitely not very nice father, and a mother who was also a v*ctim in that regard. And sadly, that is the case for so many people in the world, which is heartbreaking in itself, because a lot of what is in Snape’s upbringing is the reality for many people. It’s terrible. But to make things even worse, when Snape finally went to a place where he was special and his magic (i.e. skills and abilities) had value in the community, he ended up getting chased around by a bunch of b*llies and made fun of for his looks, and physically hurt, and called names, etc. His complex and difficult past and his feeling of being an outcast made him make even worse choices in the end (i.e. joining the Death Eaters out of spite and desperation). And teenagers say terrible things when they’re humiliated or hurt, which explains why he called Lily that word (it doesn’t justify it, but it explains it). I think his character mainly just taught me that you never know what kind of crap someone is dealing with in their life, and that you should treat them with understanding as far as it’s possible (and within reason). Because in the end it could change their life. I think also it made me focus even harder on how I interact with shy/timid/socially anxious people (because Snape gives me very much ‘I don’t like social situations’ vibes). I think it’s important to help people feel safe around you. I think Snape didn’t have much of that in his life; instead he had a lot of betrayal and got teased for finding social situations difficult. Also, Snape shows, at least for me, how loyalty (as long as it’s not obsession) is a really powerful trait in life, and it makes people trust you more. Sticking to your commitments is important in life and it’s really hard to find truly loyal people these days, who you can count on to be there for you, who don’t ghost you and aren’t flakes. People with attention spans whose eyes don’t glaze over when they should be listening to you. I think Snape taught me to look for ‘commitment' as a trait in other people. Those are my thoughts.

17. Do you think Snape was unhappy even after joining the DEs?

Absolutely. If we consider that Severus’s motivations were misplaced (he thought he’d have power by joining and instead he got pain on so many levels), and that the driving emotions he was experiencing at the time of initiation were hurt, humiliation, anger and desperation, then we can assume that the ride was rocky from the start. 

When he joined, he was looking for somewhere where he would have a circle of people like him, but in the end, he wasn’t like the DEs at all. He wasn’t a Pureblood fanatic or Pureblood agenda sympathizer, he was on the side of Muggleborns since the moment he met Lily and realized not all Muggleborns were like his father. But as a Halfblood, he didn’t belong with the Death Eaters. He probably lived in fear that someone he didn’t want ‘in the know’ would find out his blood status. I doubt that he ever felt secure in his position of favor with Lord Moldy-Shorts, either. 

Also, can we address Occlumency? I would think that the guy would be blocking out any emotion, almost constantly, after joining the DEs. If you’re hanging out with people like Bella Lestrange and Pettigrew on a daily basis, you’d need to block out some stuff. But he’d realistically have to compartmentalize, either way. He’d lock ‘happy’ emotions in one box, safely away, for review at a later date. Any pain or nightmares or horrible experiences would go in another box. His mind would have to be constantly blank or filled with well-placed fake memories. 

Plus, I’m guessing nothing much was happening in his life that could be called “happy,” except when he became Draco’s godfather. 

Oh yeah, and the whole Betraying The Potters thing would probably have rained on his parade. We all know he was miserable after that. The guilt from that event alone, even if it was Pettigrew who betrayed their location to Voldy, stayed with Snape for the rest of his life. 

The DEs started out as his way to ‘get back at’ all the people who had done him wrong. They were also his shelter and refuge for a bit, or at least the Malfoys were. But it didn’t take long for his time at the DEs to go from a fleeting power trip to a really nightmarish existence. I don’t think he was happy, no.

50. Had Snape lived, would he continue teaching at Hogwarts?

Mmmmm this is tricky. Yes and no. 

Look at it this way: for the better part of a year, the guy was playing dress up as a Death Eater while also being Headmaster of a school (appointed illegitimately to the role by the leader of a t*rrorist club). In order not to blow his cover, he had to facilitate, or at least turn a blind eye to, the t*rture and punishment of his own students that he’d spent so many years protecting and teaching. 

Plus, Severus had to deal with the looks of betrayal from McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout, Vector, and Pomfrey (and more) on a daily basis - people who, even if he wouldn’t necessarily call them friends, were at least civil with him in the past. And if he went back he’d doubt that any of them would ever really trust him again, even with his hero status and Order of Merlin - if we assume he’d get one if he lived.

So overall Hogwarts was the site where he got b*llied as a student, then it became the environment where he repeatedly was denied the position of DADA teacher and the place where he had to keep students from exploding themselves along with their cauldrons, then it became the place where he basically had to just let his students get hurt by DEs. (And sending students to Hagrid wasn’t enough. He should have done more. What he did was really bad.)

He wouldn’t go back to Hogwarts of his own volition, no. He’d feel completely wracked with guilt and unworthy to teach there after what he allowed to happen on his watch, Spy Cover or no Spy Cover. I think he’d only go back to teach if Hogwarts staff and students made it clear he was welcome. Even then, I doubt he’d accept. More likely he’d set up an apothecary or start a private apprenticeship or potions business.

That being said, Hogwarts tends to feel like home for everyone who went there. Maybe if he felt nostalgic enough, or had someone at Hogwarts waiting for him who made it worth it, he might go back. But otherwise I think his feelings of guilt and sense of honesty and honor would compel Severus to stay away.

Thank you to @utterlybyrone for the questions! Byeee! :)

[lockejhaven]

my love will never die & it will come back fur the hozier ask game!!

V good choices, thank you so much for the ask ! ❤︎

Hozier Asks

My Love Will Never Die — What do you think makes a good fictional romance? What sort of tropes?

I tend to love all sorts of dynamics, so I'll list a few: - when one character tends to take care of the other; bonus points if the main carer is suddenly the one being cared for! - when characters work through trauma together, especially in a direct manner. It's not something I feel we see often in real life or in media, so it's a nice little escape from reality! - when they raise a kid together, and one is a sucker for their child while the other is constantly exasperated. Bonus points if the sucker is typically 'cold' and 'uncaring' - one character growing into themself. not because their partner fixes them, but because the kindness they are given allows them to feel safe enough to work on themself.

It Will Come Back — Is there a theme, trope, or something else that reoccurs in your work?

I've got a few things I always tend to come back to in my work. It's also worth mentioning that I'm a psych major and I adore learning about how people think and why they do what they do.

Much of my writing focuses on emotions and experiences. I love to turn stereotypes on their heads and twist concepts around; sometimes by flipping the meanings of symbols, or creating the unexpected.

I also tend to play with power dynamics quite a bit. Whether it's a character having issues with authority, or the grapple between a person and power itself.

Related to that, Spite is a major motivator for me, too. It's a concept where it's vital to pick your battles, and if done well, spite can support you throughout your life. Writing allows me to face challenges and fears that I may not physically be able to in reality. In creating emotion through language, I hope to inspire myself and others into protecting and becoming your own true ally.

[vulturhythm]

day twenty-four - monster

is this the filthiest thing i’ve written? maybe

- - - - -

when geralt had warned him that the moon cycle brought with it changes in witchers that made them even more inhuman, jaskier had thought little of it. why would he concern himself with it, when geralt was so terribly fond of making himself out to be some horrific beast in the hopes that jaskier would finally grow to be afraid and leave for the sake of safety?

unfortunately, as happens to often be the case, jaskier has found himself proven quite wrong.

geralt had been growing progressively more and more aloof, restless, snappy as the moon drew nearer to full. each and every night as they’d set up camp, he’d done his best to warn jaskier, saying over and over again that witchers became more akin to wolves than ever when the moon was at its roundest, insisting that jaskier let him drop him off at the nearest town and come back for him when it was safe...

and jaskier, well, he had ignored him.

they had made camp quite early in the day, and only when jaskier pried had geralt confirmed that, yes, it was for jaskier’s sake. no amount of wheedling coaxed geralt into saying anything more. when geralt left the camp midway through the afternoon, the only reason he’d given was that he needed to be far, far away when the moon rose high. jaskier was told in no uncertain terms to stay put until geralt returned, no matter how late into the next day that happened to be.

so, thoroughly convinced that geralt was exaggerating, jaskier made himself right at home in their camp far from the nearest road, setting to strumming away at his lute and trying out varying tunes on roach, tethered nearby. nothing odd at all.

he remained thoroughly convinced of that fact until dusk began to fall, scarcely thirty minutes ago.

now, as darkness encroaches slowly on the light cast by the crackling campfire, jaskier finds he has far less motivation to keep playing his lighthearted songs. it’s been quite some time since he faced a night without geralt nearby, let alone a night in the woods...

“well, roach, nothing for it but to make the most of it,” he says aloud. the mare nickers in his general direction, though she’s more focused on the grass at her hooves. “some conversationalist you are, dear.”

he sighs and sets his lute aside, back into its case. geralt always positions them near a stream if he can help it - surely no harm will come of wandering a short ways in any direction, as long as he keeps the glow of the campfire in sight. perhaps i should have asked before he ran off.

it is not yet full nightfall, but the woods around their little clearing are dark and deep even still. shadows creep ever closer to the campfire even as he stands, making to head past roach into the dark. perhaps he should have thought to clean the dust of the road from himself before the sun started its descent, but hindsight is perfect vision, as they say.

he makes it no more than ten strides into the forest before, off in the distance, something howls.

jaskier freezes, then backpedals until he’s safely within the firelight again. “perhaps it’s best not,” he says with a shaky laugh. roach flicks an ear toward him.

funny that she doesn’t react to the beast in the woods. even though she’s brave as can be, she will still get a little restless when monsters come a-calling.

well. maybe geralt asked her to take special care of him, or... or something.

with another sigh, jaskier unravels his bedroll and lays it out as close to the fire as he possibly dares, both for warmth - it’s nearing the days of samhain, and the air has gone cold - and for the comfort of the light. he settles himself crosslegged atop the fabric, deciding he may as well shine the wood of his lute while he waits for it to be late enough to truly slumber.

nobody, particularly not roach, needs to know that, suddenly, he is far too nervous to sleep.

he manages to lose track of time, the polishing of his lute long since having become a repetitive motion meant to keep the monsters at bay.

he loses track of time, that is, until a low growl comes from the trees at his back.

jaskier freezes, lifting his head.

across the way, roach doesn’t seem to give a fuck.

“roach,” he hisses, “you’d warn me, wouldn’t you? you’d warn me?”

she flicks an ear in his direction.

jaskier is alone.

bracing himself to face his death, jaskier slowly turns to look over his shoulder.

his heart drops.

the beast at the edge of the forest’s depths is more wolf than man, easily the size of a fucking draft horse, though it’s bent low to the earth, powerful legs folded under itself in a strange mockery of a normal stance. jaskier knows better than to label it a werewolf - he’s seen those before with geralt, and this...

this is something new.

its thick, heavy pelt is a shade of white that all but glows in the moonlight, though there’s... there’s blood, he realizes dazedly, staining its maw and sharp-clawed hands.

it crouches low just beyond the firelight’s reach, unnaturally golden eyes fixated on jaskier.

jaskier is afraid.

“h - hello, wolfie,” he stammers out, setting his lute aside as slowly as he can. he pivots to face the beast fully, grimacing when the wolf’s lips curl back into a snarl. “okay, not moving, not moving... maybe you’d rather have, uh... uh, rabbit? surely there’s plenty of those around - “

the growl the creature gives is loud enough that jaskier feels it in his fucking bones.

“maybe not rabbit, then... i can’t offer the horse, geralt would kill me - “

the beast cocks its head to one side, and its growl subsides.

jaskier scarcely has time to wonder at this before the wolf is in motion; he doesn’t realize the ensuing scream comes from himself until he feels his throat ache with it. this is it, this is the end -

a heavy weight bowls him over, and the air is fucking punched from his lungs; jaskier feels dizzy when he realizes the wolf’s strange hand is large enough to cover his damn torso in its entirety. he sucks in a shallow, frightened breath as he is pinned flat, as he feels the tips of massive black claws dig into his ribs.

“surely we can bargain,” he wheezes, praying to the fucking gods that geralt heard him scream. “surely you don’t intend to eat me, i taste horrid, i...”

he trails off when the wolf lowers its head to level with his own. cornflower eyes lock with unholy amber. the wolf breathes in deep, and jaskier knows it’s not just his imagination - every puff of air is growing rougher, more shallow.

something heavy and cool knocks against his chest when the wolf closes the rest of the gap between its snout and jaskier’s face; a rough tongue laves its way up the side of his neck and jaw. jaskier splutters out an indignant sound, though he’s still as good as fucking paralyzed with fear.

tasting its prey, no doubt.

but rather than bite his head off, the beast moves lower down jaskier’s frame, those thick and powerful legs and arms flexing as it maintains its low crouch. the hand braced against his torso stays planted there, and jaskier knows better than to fight. maybe it’ll lose interest.

he flinches away when the beast’s wet nose shoves up into the hollow of his neck, bewildered by the unmistakable way it’s scenting him. “if you’re going to eat me, by the gods, get it over with - “

he breaks off with a startled gasp when the wolf’s nose slides lower, when he feels the scrape of massive teeth against his collarbone where his chemise is open as always. “were you never taught not to play with your food?”

the creature gives a snort that sounds rather irritated - and rather familiar - and jaskier immediately silences himself.

fear morphs into confusion when the beast’s hand curls, when the point of one claw hooks into the open v of his chemise and pulls. jaskier fights his own indignation when the fabric tears, leaving his chest bared.

in the next instant, he’s gasping aloud, hands fisting tightly into the grass at his sides, for the wolf’s tongue has swiped over his left nipple, with far too much deliberation for it to be a monster toying with its prey. “what are you - “

the wolf licks him again, slower now, and jaskier blames adrenaline on the strangled whine he gives. seemingly satisfied, the wolf moves its hand lower along jaskier’s bared torso, and he trembles in spite of himself at the feeling of its paw pads dragging against his skin. he gasps again, louder than before, when the creature braces its hand across his hips, the heel pressed firm to his cock - which, he realizes now, is stirring in spite of himself.

where the everloving hell is geralt when you need him?

the creature is moving lower on his body now, licking steadily over every point that makes him tremble and whine. jaskier’s hands itch to grab at the fur growing thick on its head when it laves its tongue along the thin trail of hair leading to the waist of his trousers; whether to push it away or draw it closer, he doesn’t know. “not that i’m c - complaining,” he breathes out, only to whimper when the wolf moves its hand lower still and noses against his groin, “but what the fuck?”

surely he’s imagining the exasperated look in those eyes when they flick up to glare at him.

surely he’s dreaming this all.

before jaskier can work this out with himself, the wolf’s claws are hooking into the waist of his trousers; oddly enough, it seems that the beast actually is making an effort to pull them off the proper way, though its claws inevitably catch, and the fabric inevitably tears.

thank the gods it wasn’t my cock, jaskier thinks wildly, pushing himself up onto his elbows to watch with wide and disbelieving eyes as the beast noses against his inner thigh. the touch is icy cold, and he whimpers aloud, reflexively drawing away - only to freeze when huge and heavy hands brace on his thighs, pushing them apart and pinning them down. “right, right, of course...”

the brush of the beast’s tongue along his half-hard length is enough to make him yelp in earnest, fists going tight in the grass. “no, no, let’s not, let’s not - “

but it’s too late. the wolf is already at work, laving its huge tongue over him steadily; there isn’t much room for finesse with a canid tongue that’s more limp weight than true muscle, but it’s large enough to cover jaskier entirely with a single swipe, and it’s goddamn maddening.

jaskier hates himself for growing hard in mere seconds.

hazily, in the instant before he drops his head back and moans, he thinks he sees the silver of a chain glinting around the beast’s neck, among its fur.

the brush of teeth makes jaskier go tense, and it’s on the tip of his tongue to protest, but it’s too late, yet again. the beast is already slipping his cock into its maw, and the wet heat surrounding him is enough to make jaskier keen. he gives up on staying upright, on resisting, and lets himself fall back flat, his hips arching into the sensations.

the beast’s hands tighten on his thighs, and he knows he doesn’t imagine a low, reassuring growl, for the vibrations around his cock make him sob out another moan. his hands fly down to tangle into thick white fur at the base of pointed ears.

the wolf groans, and jaskier feels it in his bones.

it takes all the strength he has not to rock up into the creature’s maw; only the fear of those sharp, sharp teeth keeps him restrained. he can only lay there arching and crying as the wolf works him over steadily with its tongue, as the wolf swallows around him and makes him see fucking stars.

his senses are overloaded far beyond their limits; he feels as though he’s going to break apart, as though this otherworldly beast is going to ruin him, here and now.

it comes as no surprise that he lasts only a few minutes before it all becomes too much to bear; his hips finally convulse when he comes, but the wolf’s teeth avoid him somehow. jaskier lays there, sobbing and gasping, as the wolf swallows him down.

he’s still catching his breath when the beast draws off, moving back up the length of his body - though it doesn’t need to move far, considering it’s easily twice his size. he opens his eyes, though his vision is still hazy, meeting golden orbs that have gone dark with desire.

this time, when the wolf runs its tongue up the length of his neck, he tilts his head back immediately, baring himself entirely. when he feels the wolf shift its stance, when he feels a hot and heavy weight against the length of his hip, he breathes out a weak and ragged moan, closing his eyes and letting his legs splay limp.

there’s no point in fighting, after all, not when he already knows he’ll beg and whine like a bitch in heat for the beast above him.

[aizawaskittenwhore]

  𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭

words:3.7k

pairing: aizawa x fem!reader

warnings: tw mention of blood, tw mentions of death, mentions of drugs in case you forgot this is a cartel au, murder, swearing, keigo being a cocky lil fucker, sexual harassment towards the end cause yakuza men suck

rating: 18+ cause shit gets real this chapter

a/n: i FINALLY FINISHED IT FUCK YES chapter two mothafuckas!!! i’ve been having so much fun brainstorming everything to come, and here you’re gonna really get a feel for how big this cartel is. player two, f/n l/n, you’re up! <3

all rights reserved ©️aizawaskittenwhore. do not copy, repost, or modify.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝’𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 ↳ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞

September 13th, 2181

2:56pm

Musutafu, Japan

“Hold the fuck up. This doesn’t make any sense, I mean—these are Pros. Well known and well respected Pros, at that. The hell would they be tryna’ run a fucking cartel for?!?” Ken Takagi (more commonly known as Rock Lock) rubbed the bridge of his nose in confusion, not understanding the motive or correlation. “I mean think about it. These motherfuckers got more money than they know what to do with. Endeavor is a shareholder in goddamn Nintendo, Hawks owns his own fucking agency and line of sports cars, and I could’ve sworn I saw Eraser getting Shinsou fitted for a fucking Cuban on his birthday a few months ago. It’s not like they’re strapped for cash these days.” Ken huffed, the agent’s arms crossed as he leaned back in the conference chair.

In an attempt to try and broaden the range on your current investigation, your department recruited the help of several Pros to provide reinforcements in Japan, the States, and wherever else sales were being made. Going undercover was already plenty dangerous, and going alone was the equivalent of signing your own death warrant. Enlisting the help of Rock Lock, Ryukyu, Miruko, Fatgum, Edgeshot and plenty of others was relatively easy; these were Heroes that had experience with smugglers and narcotics-based operations, so when you’d approached them with the task at hand, they’d happily agreed.

However, some needed more convincing than others.

“Takagi. Think about it. Sure, they may not be living paycheck to paycheck, but look at the timeline.” You state, looking over your shoulder towards the holographic board displaying an interactive timeline of the investigation, including photos, invoices and even audio recordings pulled from surveillance cameras. “Two years ago, we seized a truck containing approximately 78 kilograms of crack cocaine. When we questioned the driver on where he was taking it and where he got it from, he didn’t budge. Luckily for us, the dumbass wasn’t smart enough to avoid a paper trail, leaving the insurance documents in the glove compartment when we’d taken him into custody. The insurance company was under the name “Target Lance”, but after doing some digging on the name we found out the corporation went bankrupt six months before and was eventually bought out by Chevrolet.” Pausing to return to the screen welded to the wall behind you, your hands swiped as you searched for the file reading December 5th, 2178: A live video feed of a towering skyscraper being built, the building’s name reading “Chevrolet Corvette Inc.” as it hovered above tens of stories above each worker.

“But you all haven’t heard the name Chevy in a while right? That’s because two weeks after that building was built, the hundred-million dollar company was bought out by Takami Corporate-”

“-who owns Takami Motors. Which is the brand associated with the Peregrine Speedsters, Hawks’ damned sports car line.” Ken finished for you, brown spheres twinkling in sudden clarity. “Now you’re speaking my language.” You nod, hands waving as you continue to brief the room of Pros.

“The Todoroki and Nintendo console collaboration didn’t happen until about earlier this year, March to be specific. Which is quite convenient..since around that time the price of cocaine per gram stabilized in both America and Japan, rising from $112 to $138 bucks a pop. I’m nobody to speak on looks either, but for as long as we’ve known of him, Eraser has dressed like a depressed college student with insomnia that doesn’t understand the concept of soap or a pair of clippers. Now he’s got his wife in Cartier bracelets and getting his shirts tailored because the collar “doesn’t allow him enough room for his capture weapon”?!? Bullshit.” You huff, stifling a smile as you watch Miruko and Edgeshot snicker in their seats at your...blunt observation.

“It makes sense. Three years ago all our agencies, including those overseas, started cutting our checks down by half. They can barely afford to pay us a quarter of what we used to make, and these guys are making these lavish purchases while we all starve?? No way. Something’s fishy, and it’s damn sure not this takoyaki.” Fatgum spat, hands quivering with rage as he struggled to grasp the food with his chopsticks.

“Fatgum’s right. Hero unemployment is at a staggering 8.7 percent. Meanwhile, these men are spending money like it’s going out of style. It makes no sense.” Miruko pondered, Ryukyu folding her hands in her lap as she voiced her approval for immediate action. Edgeshot nodded in agreement, brows furrowed in frustration at this blatant disregard for the law. “So we’re all in agreement that our own people have resorted to breaking the law. Cool, got it. Question is, why? And what the hell are we gonna do about it?” Ken demanded, his patience having worn thin from all this speculation.

“Good question. I think they’re trying to take advantage of the tough spot the Hero Commission is in right now, manipulate that vulnerability and use it for their own gain. They’re not invulnerable to the tough times Pros are facing in the workforce. So they’ve gotten together to try and make it work for them, even if it means breaking the law.” You query, hands typing furiously at the virtual screen to pull up the files of each Hero, displaying all the current information on them from their blood type to each known family member. “These three banding together though? Along with other people? There’s no way. They hate each other. Or at the very least couldn’t get anything done even if they did have a common goal in mind.” Edgeshot murmured lowly.

“I thought so too. But then it hit me: it’s not just some flimsy group project. Sure, crime has gone up since the formation of this cartel, but nobody who holds any rank has been murdered or harmed in any way. No no no, these guys are singing in tune for now...which means there’s a damn good choir director among them. So I’ve volunteered to go undercover, work my way through this organization and figure out just how high up this goes.” You assert, shoulders rigid and chin aloft as the harnesses of your costume frame your figure.

“Alone?? Are you outta your goddamn mind? Let me go, you’ll need back up-” Rock Lock sputters, hands fanning out in shock.

“No way. What about your wife, your kid?! This isn’t just some average drug bust, we’re dealing with powerful men in possession of superhuman abilities that have the game on lockdown. You’ve got too much to lose, more than any of us anyway. Edgeshot and I will go, we’ve seen the other side of the law before, and our quirks are better suited for stealth should anything go wrong.” You fire, eyes narrowing into slits. “The rest of you will be working in tandem with the DEA and our resources, and we’ll report back to you with all future developments. We’ll also need you to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice, if we need it.”

A thick silence clogged the air, Ken settling back into his seat across the table. His amber eyes flickered in irritation before huffing in acceptance, the situation being out of his hands. All the conference participants’ gazes fixed in determination, some with anger. The tense aura weighed on everyone present before Miruko cleared her throat, ivory teeth gleaming in a smirk.

“Well we’ve got a solid plan. So all I wanna know is...when do we start?

June 2nd, 2182

In all honesty...you thought the nickname was just a sad attempt to stroke his ego. But seeing the way over seventy commercial-size planes and approximately 30 seaplanes sat aloft balmy concrete in the Guadalajara sun showed you exactly why they called Hawks “Lord of The Skies”. Arrays of laborers with avian-oriented quirks loaded kilo after kilo of coke on to each and every plane, some by hand and others by forklift. Welders were personally hand selected by Keigo himself to eliminate the issue of utilizing every available inch of space; each vessel having been stripped of everything from the seats to the built in mini-bars (much to Keigo’s chagrin). From where you stood in the scalding hot beams, the runway seemed to extend for miles as it brimmed with visible heat-waves.

Dressed in a simple black tank top, black biker type shorts, aluminum plated gauntlets, steel toed combat boots and harnesses that encapsulated the curves of your body before coming to a stop at your thighs, you silently rejoiced in the airflow your gear allowed you in spite of the color. The bandanna atop your hairline helped to absorb some of the sweat, which was a bonus.

“Not bad for a starter fleet huh? The wingspan on these babies almost makes me jealous.” A rich and decadent voice called from your left. Sleek carmine appendages and brassy blond hair entered your peripheral vision, giving way to the man who ran the show: Keigo Takami. Adorned in a pair of low rise denim jeans that were so incomprehensibly tight they accentuated every bit of his dick (which was likely intentional), a plain white tee and ebony cowboy boots that looked like they cost three times what you make in a week; he most definitely looked the part of the People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” and Playboy’s “Player of the Month” titles he’d earned. Luminous olive skin glistened with sweat, droplets sliding down the deep v neck of his shirt with ease; the way the daisy-hued fabric stuck to his crafted abdomen leaving nothing to the imagination. Tourmaline and Argentium piercings dangled effortlessly from both ears, and if you weren’t so hell-bent on putting the motherfucker in jail you would’ve had no problem admitting how attractive he really was.

“Starter fleet? You’re about to put Delta out of business, look at this shit!” You guffaw, arms folded, an eyebrow raised in astonishment at his “humble” admission. “Flattery will get you everywhere, and then some.” Keigo chuckles, breath hot against your ear the instant he bends at the waist, hands settled in his pockets with that cocky aura about him.

“-And having your damn breath against my ear in 107 degree weather will, respectfully, get you my foot up your ass. I didn’t fly down here to get treated like one of your poor interns. I came here to make money, so let’s talk it.” You lash, the climbing tempature slicing your tolerance for bullshit to shreds.

“Shit. Straight to the point huh? I like it. You wanna talk shop, say no more. Over lunch though, I’m starving out here.” Keigo clicks his teeth with a grin, escorting the two of you towards the very jet he’d arrived in. “A little unknown fact about me, usually I hate flying ”conventionally”. Gives me anxiety, and I’m awful company when I’m nervous.”

Settling into the light taupe hued cabin, you observe the not-so-subtle elements of class. Ivory shochu bottles with intricate crystalline glasses to match, the bar fully stocked with gold accents along the upholstery. Plates of costly Kobe style beef rested atop spotless porcelain, romaine lettuce coupled with grilled applewood bacon, chicken, avocado and buttermilk dressing settled into envy-inducing black marble bowls. The plane was spacious, and certainly cost a pretty penny or two. “You’re upfront, so I’ll be honest with you. As of right now, this plane is the last thing I’m worried about-” Hawks mutters lowly, dijon eyelets tapering into thin slivers.

“-It’s the Shie Hassaikai making their encore appearance, and with the Colombians at that.”

You choke on a sip of Vega Sicilia, pupils dilating at the thought. 

“Now you spoke about wanting to make some money, right?” You nod, heart rate steadily rising. 

“What if I could offer you something more? Something of...extensive value.” Keigo drawled, dark undertone flooding the air like a thick smoke.  “Like what, Takami?” You inquire.

“A seat at the table.” He shrugs, like one would if they were discussing something as trivial as ice cream flavors or Friday night plans, not the reorganization of a crime syndicate. “You’ve been workin’ for me shy of a year now right? Somethin’ like that? Anyway..”

He takes a deep, contemplative swig of the chestnut liquid, eyes boring into yours. 

“You’re efficient, and you don’t take anyone’s shit. Good help’s hard to find in our line of work, and before you know it, this little hierarchy is gonna go under some..reorganization. Only the people who aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty will have a place in the new order, so I want you there.”

“What’s the catch? I’m not dumb enough to just assume this is some promotion for busting my ass.” You tread, brain working double-time to try and decipher just what Keigo’s getting at. “Clever girl. It’s a simple task, in and out.” He assures, middle and ring finger sliding a matte-finish photo across the mahogany. Displayed was Kinan Zango, a member of the Shie Hassaikai’s middle rankings shaking hands with Joaquin Fuentes, a Columbia native known for having a body count in the double digits. 

“Another fact about me: Only one thing heightens my anxiety more than planes...people who fuck with my money. This asshole Kinan’s been selling my routes to the fucking Columbians and pocketing the profits, and getting 20% of the product as a little “thank you” when he knows nobody moves coke through the Gulf other than Takami fucking Keigo. He’s becoming a problem, and I don't like those.” Kei growls, left eye twitching minutely. His nails are sinking into the polish of the wood, his energy vehemently furious.

“Take care of this for me, and you’ll be my plus one to Guadalajara tomorrow.”

The general public often made the mistake of writing Keigo off as just your average “pretty boy”. Whereas a trained eye could see that while he may be pretty, he was nobody to be tested. The sheer intellect he possesses to seek, hand-craft each and every route, assign planes to their designated locations along with alternatives should there ever be an issue? He just didn’t get enough credit. 

So he took major offense when someone had the audacity to treat his hard work as though it was theirs.

Besides.. you got a man with looks, money and bloodlust? Tch. You’ve just created a monster.

You weren’t necessarily opposed to the idea of ridding the world of another drug-dealing degenerate, but the idea of casually committing a murder as a DEA agent in a foreign country just didn't sit right with you. Undercover agents weren’t permitted a “license to kill” should the investigation call for it either, so it was between committing a murder as government agent, or declining Keigo’s request and missing out on a front row seat to the cartel’s entire operation.

The silence that followed his sentence was deafening. Ice cubes chimed loftily as they swirled around inside his glass, clear liquid sloshing around while he awaited an answer.

Your jaw sets, eyes piercing into his. 

“Consider it done.”

Blood spattered onto the pale concrete, moonlight illuminating the scarlet hues. Your knuckles throbbed with pain, the sensation blossoming through your hand as your lips curled back in a snarl, vigorously ridding your hands of the other man’s bodily fluids. 

“ If you really think coming after me for that bird brained motherfucker is gonna change anything, you got another thing fucking coming.” Kinan spat, nose steadily flowing with red. His lip was busted, face splotched with yellowing purple bruises. Tugging at his restraints he thrashed, mouth spewing white-hot venom.

“You’re talking a lot of shit for a middle-ranking yakuza who thinks some new coke routes is gonna keep the Hassaikai from dumping your body on the side of some road in Zacatecas.” You observe, sending a harsh kick between the mans ribs, steel toed boots making an audible crack. “The Japanese are like Dixie Cups to them...”‘use em’ once, then throw em’ away”, right? You’re a fool if you think your days aren't numbered once you wear out your welcome.”

“Fuck you. You’re little boy toy threw a temper tantrum, so he sent you to “take care of things”, isn’t that right?” Kinan coos, eyes softening in a mocking pout. 

“Trust me, you're not the first slut Takami’s been sticking it in that he’s sent to kill me. Only difference between you and the rest of those bitches-” He huffs, head craning back against the metal chair to let our a soft breath of laughter. “-is that you’re gonna put up a fight.”

Suddenly his bones began to shift, popping and snapping as his skin began to pool below him; you recoiled in fear watching his body slowly slip from his imprisonment like gelatin exits a mold.

“I’ve got elastic bones kid! Whatever breaks just snaps right back into place.”

Skin stretching and pulling as he regained his original form, legs sprinting towards you. Before you could fire off your Quirk’s sonic blast his grip seized the back of your neck, a blade taking residence just below your left eye; it’s tip pressing uncomfortably into your water line. 

“Now, if you're good, I’ll make it quick. Though I’m known for being pretty... through with my toys.” Kinan leers, a hand slowly slithering down your sides to reach for the muscle of your ass. 

“Go to hell, and die there while you’re at it!” You shout.

Bile creeping into your throat, you seize the momentary shift in energy, generating a small sound wave that sent Kinan a few feet to your left; giving the two of you some distance. Your Quirk allowed you to absorb sound to power-up your physical movements, or send it out in the form of sonic blasts or sound waves, so the louder the sound, the more power it gave you. Readying your fists in anticipation for combat, you silently willed for a sudden disruption in the deafening silence as he rushed back to your rigid body. 

What you didn’t anticipate was that the sudden bang that filled the air, and the lifeless body of Kinan dropping to your feet with a thud, his head...

excavated, for lack of a better word.

“Don’t you know the entire point of having backup while under cover is to... call for backup?” Edgeshot snarked, striding towards you, gun settled back into it’s holster. His foot carelessly nudged the bleeding man before removing a Polaroid camera from his knapsack and snapping a photo of the carnage.

“W-what the fuck?! Look, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful when I say this, but what the absolute fuck did you just do??? We’re government agents, in a foreign country, we can’t just fucking murder these assholes nor do we have the license to-” You sputter, brows arching in frustration.

“This was your ticket into Guadalajara. I just secured you box seats when you were this close to getting stuck in the damned nosebleeds. I believe the correct words you’re looking for are thank you.” Kamihara snaps, shoving the photo into your hand. 

“We’re in a world completely different from our own. It’s forgiveness first, and permission later down here. I don’t like it either...but it’s just the way things are.” He sighs, hanging his head while his shoulders settled like the solar system rested on them. 

“I’ll take care of this. Now take that to Hawks, and don’t you dare fuck it up. Don’t let me have killed this poor asshole in vain.” 

You nod, stepping over Kinan’s body. 

Good riddance.

“Thank you, by the way.” You putter. Kamihara returns the sentiment with a nod, before turning to the corpse before him, phone raised to his ear as he spoke with whoever was on the opposite line, eyes that were once grey now swam with deep scarlet.

“Excellent work! I won’t lie, I had a feeling you were hardcore, but damn, this is some seamless shit! You deserve my praise.” Keigo beams, pearly teeth sparkling in the light of the cabin. Nodding in acceptance you grasped his hand upon his offering, permitting him to escort you towards your respective aircraft.

“Well, a promise is a promise. And if nothing else, I’m most certainly a man of my word. Meet me at this airstrip same time tomorrow, 8am. Pack light, Mexico’s a bitch in the summer, though you already know that.”

“Got it. Pleasure doing business with you, Hawks.”

“Call me Keigo, if you want. I hate all the formal shit, long as we got respect, that's all I need.” He shrugs.

“Understood. See you tomorrow, Keigo.” You affirm, climbing the ladder to your jet, body visibly relaxing at the thought of rest.

“Wait--before you go, I wanted to ask ya. What’s with the whole ancient hieroglyphics tat you got goin on, on your spine? It just looks familiar, is all.” He queries.

Home.

November 12th, 2174.

“Y/N! I found somethin’! It’s this super cool protection rune I found in grandma’s things. Check it out! It wards off all evil, and whoever’s in possession of it can, like, balance their energy with the divine power.”

“You’re such a hippie, I swear to god.” You grin.

“Don’t hate because my chakras are balanced and yours aren’t, bitch.” She grinned, index and thumb coming together to flick your forehead. 

“At least take it with you for your exam, for good luck! Pleaseeeee! I think it’ll really help.” Her doe eyes melting your steely resolve. You could never deny her, those eyes constantly solidifying her role as the younger sister. 

“...Only if you’ll clean my room for me when I come back for Christmas.” You demand, an eyebrow raised in mirth.

“Deal.”

And even though you never did admit it to her, that tiny piece of paper tucked into your bra did more for you during that exam than any late night cram session ever could’ve.

“It’s a protection rune. To ward off all evil energies, spirits and all that shit.” You mutter.

“Hm. Looks like it works, seeing how well tonight panned out for ya. Could use me one, would probably keep old man Todoroki out my fuckin’ hair.” He chuckles, hands releasing from the railing as he threw you a wave.

“But I wouldn’t worry too much about tomorrow, anyway. I got a feeling you’re gonna fit in just fine with us.” He smirked.

Ah.

If only that were true, Keigo.

taglist! : @liliesoftherainmain @therealwalmartjesus

[possiblyimbiassed]

John’s wedding is a crime scene - Part V

I’ve already talked a lot about what ‘crimes’ might have been committed in Sherlock’s ‘reality’ around John’s wedding in TSoT, so now I think it would be interesting to analyse some events that might have lead up to these ‘crimes’, and also how Sherlock might interpret them in his Mind Palace. 

This idea occurred to me after a new discussion surged regarding Part IV of this meta series - a discussion which you can find here (X). (To anyone who prefers to start from the beginning of the series, here are the previous parts: Part I, Part II, Part III). In one of the additions, @lukessense was talking about TLD and asked the following questions:

Sherlock gets beaten by John, because he blames him for killing Mary and asks him if this is a game to him (Sherlock thinks he ‘killed’ Mary because he…flirted with John? Or what is the game here? The game of not confessing? The game of unanswered questions about their feelings?).

These things have been puzzling me too, and I’m not sure about the answers in any sense. The following is just my very subjective opinion, and there could certainly exist a lot of alternate explanations. But I’ll try to lay out my view of it all here - in an emotional context - and see how S4, in particular TLD, can relate to John’s wedding and to other events before it.

The Macho Game

Continued under the cut

First of all: what is ‘The Game’ we see played out in the show actually about? I think The Game is basically between Sherlock and John and it’s about not admitting to (romantic) emotions; it’s a sort of ‘macho’ game where the first one to show the ‘weakness’ of being in love with the other one loses. They can dance around each other for ages, but none of them will lower their guard first and risking the harsh destiny of unrequited love and abandonment and consequently be seriously hurt (’killed’) - risking to have their heart burned.

In Sherlock’s view, to fall in love is to lose all power and control over your own life - hence the constant death metaphor for it in his mind. To confess to feelings is to bare your throat to the attack of the ‘enemy’ - and the enemy is Love; in Sherlock’s eyes the culprit of much of the suffering in this world.

Why is this ‘game’ so important to maintain for Sherlock? Because emotions is such a scary, unreliable and stigmatising thing, especially between two men, and they have to be kept at bay. I think Sherlock is against them on the surface because they interfere with the logical reasoning in his work, but in reality he’s scared as h*ll of them because of his childhood (and maybe youth) traumas. I would guess something really bad happened to him, probably involving Victor Trevor and maybe also his parents.

Sherlock’s aim is to be on top of all that, to never feel doubt of his own capacity and to never give in to the dangerous dominance of emotions. His way of doing this has unfortunately been to repress all affectionate emotions which he sees as a threat. But this ’strategy of survival’ has also damaged him gravely. And inside himself, a part of him is still fighting against it.

My view of John is that he has probably been raised in a homophobic and even abusive ‘macho’ environment/family and been taught to look down on LGBTQ people, hence his gay sister’s problems with alcohol. He’s a very reserved guy who rarely talks about how he feels. He struggles with the duality of his sexual orientation and with fear of society’s condemnation of the gay side of it (”people will talk”). He may think he has a ’liberal’ view of these things (”...which is fine, by the way”), but John also believes he needs to live up to conventions and social expectations, at least on the surface, in spite of never actually having his heart in it.

John engages in this ’macho game’ with Sherlock because he’s also very confused about his own emotions. On one hand he’s both sexually attracted to and deeply in love with Sherlock, but on the other he’s afraid of what these feelings are doing to him. He thinks there’s ’something wrong’ with him for feeling this way about Sherlock. But he’s also an adrenaline junkie; he can’t resist danger. His worst nightmare is to openly confess his (romantic) love to Sherlock, only to then be abandoned by this ’un-feeling psychopath’ and left with the stigma of coming out, but with no-one to support him. I see it as unlikely that John will make the first move to break this ’dance’, unless he has reason to feel sure about Sherlock being there for him.

False conclusions

Now, even if S4 is all composed of Sherlock’s dreamed/imagined scenarios inside his Extended Mind Palace, I don’t think we can interpret everything we see in them as his ’gained wisdom’. In science, scenarios are never more accurate than the data you put into the model, or than the algorithm you use to run the scenario. And these being dream scenarios with no support in ’reality’ (in this case John’s blog) prevents us from using common logics to interpret them; the metaphors are mixed and many-layered. And all the events we see in S4 are fabrications, but maybe partly based on things that did happen before, which Sherlock’s brain now uses in ’new’ situations for the purpose of analysis. Also - and this is important - some of it may show us Sherlock’s mistaken conclusions - he might actually be wrong. :)

As for the hug scene in TLD, I think Sherlock still believes that John really wants to be the guy Mrs Het Norm Mary expected him to be, but he can’t and that’s why John starts crying at the end of the scene. When the truth is that John just can’t play this ridiculous game anymore; it has made him a liar and a cheater and it’s eating him up from the inside (and destroying his character on the meta level).

This has most probably to do with internalised homophobia, but I don’t think Sherlock has realised this just yet (because they both have it internalised). If Sherlock and John had sex on the stag night, then yes; maybe Sherlock (subconsciously) believes he thereby destroyed John’s protection from exposure. He ‘killed’ Mary, he ’broke the spell’ by making John cheat on her, and the result is a depressed John. 

All of this is conclusions that Sherlock reaches first in TLD, after having run this whole scenario about John’s psychological motivations. (And I don’t think Sherlock is aware that his brain keeps running scenarios; he thinks everything in S4 actually happens). I have tried to describe my view of TLD in my meta series ‘What happened to Sherlock’ (X). All seems back to normal after the hug scene, but the problem is that TLD still ends with John being shot, so the problem has not been solved. Which propells Sherlock into his next mental scenario, TFP, where he finally has to confront his own emotions and traumas.

But I think the hug scene in TLD is false - at least partly - because it shows us a John whom it is very hard for Sherlock to comfort because of John’s self-loathing. I actually don’t believe the ‘real’ John would tell Sherlock that “it’s not okay” when Sherlock for once is there for him emotionally and actually offers him something as intimate as a hug. The ‘real’ John would take this opportunity without hesitation and hug him back. But Sherlock misinterprets his own data; he thinks this is all about John’s love for Mary, and his mourning after having lost her. While in ‘reality’ (where Mary may not even be dead) I think John is hoping for precisely this; he’s waiting for Sherlock to show his cards first. But this would mean that Sherlock first has to embrace Sentiment. 

All in all I think Sherlock is a very empathetic person who cares deeply about people, especially those closest to him; he is by no means a ‘psychopath’. In fact he uses empathy as a method of crime solving; he puts himself in another persons’ shoes to see what he would do in that situation (and this comes directly from canon). This way he often manages to reason backwards to reconstruct what has happened. The problem with Sherlock’s analyses, though, is that he actively tries to avoid considering emotional aspects. His fear of certain emotions sometimes leads him in the wrong direction. 

Why the beating?

So what about John’s beating of Sherlock in the morgue in TLD, where he blames Sherlock for killing Mary? This scene is outright horrible to watch and very difficult to understand. Disarming Sherlock and make him drop the scalpel is one thing, but how can Sherlock even dream that John would assault his best friend and kick the sh*t out of him while lying defenseless on the floor? For something that he didn’t even do? This is so absurd that I strongly suspect something else is going on. But here we must remember that this nightmarish scenario, as well as many others, might be based on things that have actually happened before; things that might have lead to the oddity of John’s wedding becoming a ‘crime scene’. 

So let’s use Sherlock’s empathy methods on himself here, and try to analyse how Sherlock might have interpreted certain things that lead to the situation in TSoT. Because I think this is basically what Sherlock’s brain is trying to do in TLD, even if he still doesn’t actually ‘get it’. :P Which, by the way, is smoothly illustrated by this interchange between Mycroft (= Sherlock’s Brain) and Mrs Hudson (= Sherlock’s intuition? His heart?) in TLD:

Before beginning I want to point out that in my view most of the things we see happen in the show (especially after TSoT) represent Sherlock’s lively interpretation of what John has written on his blog. So in order to understand the beating in TLD, the first thing I would do is look for any kind of beating accounted for by John on his blog. And yes; there is of course this one in the blog post The Empty Hearse (X):

John actually admits publicly that he did beat up Sherlock in a restaurant, and then he goes on to wave the whole thing away without even a shred of remorse. Trying to look at this through Sherlock’s logical eyes (where emotions are repressed), I get the impression that John thinks this was a perfectly OK thing to do, after Sherlock’s little ‘joke’. It’s as if John were saying, in big macho style: “Don’t mess with Captain John Watson, Sherlock, because this is what happens, see? Sneaking up on me like that, you’ll get what you deserve.” 

In fact, this whole blog post stands in stark contrast to what John had written about Sherlock when he thought he was dead. Instead of honouring Sherlock’s memory, now he talks about “Sherlock Bloody Holmes” and “I know he's a psychopath and I've accepted that, but...” And also that “he hadn't trusted us enough to tell us what was really going on. Not sure I'll ever truly forgive him for that”. And “he comes back into my life which means I find myself being attacked, kidnapped and stuck in a bonfire”. In this blog post, the only redeeming quality that Sherlock seems to have in John’s eyes, apart from his crime solving, is that he offers John a chance to help with it, which means danger for the adrenaline junkie. “He’s like a drug”. And John finishes with stating that Mary “is the best thing that's ever happened to me”, addressing it directly to Sherlock with a smiley.  What is Sherlock supposed to make of all this?

I can understand that John is upset and appalled by Sherlock’s seemingly heartless nonchalance in just appearing before him like a ghost and behave like John’s years of grieving were all but a joke. But once he had assaulted the guy (thrice, if we are to believe the show’s version), why still this intense resentment? Why wasn’t it even enough to ‘vent’ by hitting the guy? Hadn’t he begged and hoped that Sherlock by some miracle would still be alive? 

Apparently, now that Sherlock is back from the dead, all John’s emotional defenses immediately snap up again like a protective wall and the 'macho game’ is on once more. But unfortunately I don’t think Sherlock gets this, because it’s about Sentiment, and it has to do with him and John. Sherlock probably wouldn’t look at it that way.

But my point is, that this is what Sherlock’s subconscious is trying to tell him through the comatose scenarios in TLD: ‘Mary’ is dead because Sherlock has effectively destroyed John’s heteronormative façade. 

And when did this happen? Well, it probably began when Sherlock suddenly returned from the dead; by that he managed to explode John’s carefully crafted little bubble of ordinary life. Or - more accurately - he blew up his little bubble of heteronormative life; he started to ‘kill Mary’. Hence John’s deep resentment; he was losing ‘the game’. But the biggest blow would have happened around John’s wedding, I think. Because if they actually did end up in bed after a wet Stag Night, this would have been the ultimate proof, wouldn’t it? The final evidence that Mary was not the best thing that could have happened to John, that this was just some BS that John was trying to hide behind. 

John’s cover would have been blown, but he still proceeded to marry Mary Morstan as if nothing, making Sherlock feel like a trash can, only worthy of abuse. I even think there is some more evidence of this in John’s comment to his own last blog post about the Mayfly Man:

So John tries here to legitimise his own conduct, right? A married man who wanted some one-night stands. It might be significant that Sherlock doesn’t even comment on this blog post, but after the wedding he simply hacks the blog. No wonder that Sherlock’s scenarios in HLV, TAB and S4 would be dark and cynical then, is there? No wonder Sherlock calling himself “a sociopath who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high“. No wonder him calling it “surgery” when Mrs Het Norm ‘Mary’ skillfully cuts out his heart.

But the thing is, that John’s useless marriage could most probably have been avoided if Sherlock had been frank and honest to John about his feelings for him in the first place. And it’s still not too late; the ’crime’ can be reversed. I still have good hope that Sherlock will eventually reach that point in S5 by finally recognising the importance of emotions and take on the real criminal here: homophobia.   

Tagging some people who might be interested:

@raggedyblue​ @lukessense​ @sarahthecoat​ @gosherlocked​ @ebaeschnbliah​ @sagestreet​ @tjlcisthenewsexy @loveismyrevolution