#spiraling really really bad and uhh

[guayabana]

elden ring attracting so much attention from audiences that usually wouldn't touch a fromsoft game has been so annoying when it comes to discussions about its story.

like maybe ironic considering grrm was involved in the writing this time, but the response to elden ring & specifically SOTE feels very similar to what happened with game of thrones, where the story is pretty explicitly about the dangers & violence & cruelty inherent in certain systems of power, and 95% of the audience response is to look at that & be like "wow i hope my fave character gets to be the good ruler who fixes everything because they're so cool & nice :D"

[comicaurora]

So uhh. If you feel like talking about it. As someone who lives in the US, how are you being kind to yourself on this upsetting morning <3

Checked in with my loved ones first and foremost.

It's interesting. The vibe I've been getting from my circle is very different from 2016. Much less… dread and horror at a realignment of the understanding of what can and can't happen here, now, in this place and day and age. More "fuck, guys. again? whatever. enjoy your consequences, maybe you'll manage to learn something this time."

Frustration and anger is not the most positive feeling, or even the most fair one to express, but it is a protective one. It hurts a lot less than most alternatives.

And it's quite a shift. It was earthshattering back then. How could this have been allowed to happen? Why couldn't it be stopped? Why couldn't we stop it? Why couldn't I stop it? Why couldn't everyone see what this meant? Why couldn't I make them understand? Did they really not care? What did that mean about humanity as a whole? Were we so thoughtless? How could anyone be trusted?

It seems… much less earthshattering to see it happen twice. Disappointing, sure. Frustrating. But nowhere near as devastating as the first time I saw it unfold. We already knew it could happen. I've already had time to digest the implications. Now I'm just freshly disappointed.

It also feels less indicative of Crushing Truths Of Reality this time. We've seen shit get bad. We've also seen shit get better from here! We know both outcomes are possible, even inevitable. We know hoping for a better future is always worthwhile. This isn't the apocalypse. It's an unremarkably bad turn of events brought on by unremarkably self-centered well-documented human impulses. It's utterly mundane in its unpleasantness. It doesn't need to be dignified with despair.

A democratic election, no matter the outcome or the side we're on, makes us all acutely aware of how outnumbered we are by people whose worldviews and priorities are demonstrably incomprehensible to us. And the first time you get outnumbered, it's a shock. Defeat is haunting. It didn't matter how badly you wanted it; by the very function of democracy, you do not have the power to override greater numbers. (insert electoral college caveat here)

The second time through, I find myself focusing on a different facet that has dramatically reduced the amount of spiralling I'm doing. I don't expect this to work for everyone, but for me specifically, it helped to crystallize a few thoughts:

You don't have the power to control anyone else. You don't. You can't share your worldview and your revelations with them. You can't make them think or understand anything. You can lay it all out for them, but you can't make them listen, and you can't make it click. A mentor can't make their student learn a lesson; that's why teaching is so complicated and hard. An active choice must be made by the person to enable themselves to understand, and they must put the pieces together in their own mind before it makes sense to them, and the pieces must have been presented in a way that makes sense to them in the first place. Lead a horse to water, can't make them drink.

These elections highlight a disconnect in what different groups of people care about; and no matter how clearly you explain yourself or how passionately you perform, caring cannot be forced on someone. Understanding and connection cannot be forced. You cannot make anything or anyone matter to someone. They have to choose to see how it matters in order to internalize it. If they choose not to, that is not your failing. You couldn't have made them do it by just Explaining Better. They are not your responsibility. They make their own choices. You can't reach inside their head and connect the dots for them.

I'm a storyteller. I make stories and put them out into the world. I hope people get something good out of them, but I have no control over what that something is. I want people to be thoughtful and kind and compassionate and hopeful and see themselves reflected in stranges, no matter their differences. I can craft stories that I hope encourage this. But that is the extent of my ability and the extent of my responsibility. I control no-one's actions but my own, and so while I am not having the best day, I am at least content that I am doing what I can, and I am not shattering myself against impossibilities trying to control the things I can't.

Sometimes, people make decisions that I think are really bad. I can't make that not happen. All I can do is try to make decisions that will result in things I think are good. Today, that means checking in on people, and not assigning too much dramatic narrative weight to an ultimately mundane set of unremarkable bad decisions outside of my control. We'll take life as it comes and help each other out when and how we can. Everything else is out of our hands.

[bluerosefox]

Ghost Marriage Allows More Than One!

Tim wakes up in a hotel room in Vegas snuggled against a chest but he wasn't surprised.

He had been in the Sin City for a WE meeting and had brought Bernard along the trip since Tim's birthday was just shy a few days into it and well he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend since most of his family were off world (Dick, Jason, and Bruce all had important missions and they all apologized for missing out and Tim couldn't blame them he understood and he himself couldn't get out of the Vegas meetings no matter what he tried to do.) Or couldn't come to join him (Damian had school as did Duke and Alfred was taking care of them while the others were gone. Steph and Cass were out of country working with some important things with Babs and again he understood.) (Did it still sting yes but they all promised to make it up when they got back, Alfred even promised a coffee cake just for him)

So yeah, Vegas meeting trip turned somewhat birthday fun with his boyfriend. And since Bernard has always been good with encouraging Tim to try things it came to no surprise that during their stay he had managed to convince Tim to try drinking for the night.

Yes terrible influence Bernard was sometimes, but he did make a point. Tim was an adult now and sometimes it's okay to at least try adult dumb stuff, he didn't have to like it and could stop if he really didnt want to but he can at least say he tried it once. That it was okay for Tim to let go of his vigilante brain and just have fun in the one city that was made for it.

So try Tim did. Just for the night.

So yeah, Tim wasn't really surprised when he woke up the next morning, alcohol aftertaste on his breath, head pounding, nose scrunched up from the light of the sun peeking in from the curtains, and snuggling himself into a rather chilly chest...

Wait...

Chilly?

Tim opened his eyes when he realized that. Bernard never felt cold to Tim when they would snuggle, no he was always warm, like a warm heating blanket. It was why Tim loved snuggling him. Why was he-

Tim's eyes widened when he saw not blonde hair on the body in the bed with him but black hair. He almost flung himself off the bed from him startling awake and watched the one he had been snuggled next to mumble in his sleep and turn over.

Tim felt pure dread as he continued to stare, his stomach turning as his thoughts got bad, oh god..God... did he... oh no, no, no no. Oh where was Bernard- FUCK did he really-

Tim flinched when he heard a door open and snapped his eyes towards it. He felt his mouth go dry when he spotted his boyfriend coming out of what was the bathroom of the room and had just finished taking a shower from the sounds of left over dripping water and from the towel he was using to clean his hair.

Bernard stopped in his spot when he noticed Tim staring at him before he gave Tim a very uneasy chuckle, his eyes darting towards the sleeping body on the bed "H-Hey, good morning T. I see you... uhh seen our guest."

Tim felt ready to cry, to beg for forgiveness, but the only sound that came out was a strangled sound because of course he fucked up and ruined one of the best things that ever happened to him and-

But before he could spiral further into his anxiety and dread Bernard kept speaking.

"So ummm. Do you also remember meeting Danny at the bar, getting really tipsy, hanging out, having fun and then like going to a ghost bar with him so he could really drunk because he's like half ghost. And I mean like a legit ghost bar, like we saw Elvis and Marilyn Monroe there and they were like floating. Then we all got like super mega drunk and then... maybe kinda sorta got ghost married... because ghost marriage allows unlimited spouses cause you know, already dead doesn't matter and it's also almost permanent cause again the whole dead thing... Or did I hallucinate all that last night and we just brought in a random stranger to bed?" He asked his voice unsure as he looked between Tim and the stranger Danny in bed before lifting his hand up and showing Tim a glowing ring on it. "I'm pretty sure I didn't dream it up because I kinda woke up with this, and it refuses to come off."

Tim went silent for a moment, wide eyed as he stared back at Bernard before the pounding headache he had hit him harder than ever when the very memories of everything Bernard had said came flooding back to him. With a gasp Tim quickly looked st his own hand and sure enough on his finger was a matching glowing wedding band on it, his eyes snapped towards Danny... Danny Nightingale? Or was it Phantom? said his name was and spotted another matching one as well.

"B is going to kill us." Was the only thing Tim could muster up to say.

[monitorkernelaccess]

i knowwwwww i sound insane like i'm watching and reading information about dungeon meshi with my eyes closed when i say "chimera falin is falin" and maybe it's just cause i haven't actually read the entire manga (though i've pretty much spoiled the entire plot for myself at this point) but like. she is. she's still falin. to me

but like i guess she's not based on the way canon talks about chimera falin as a separate entity. and that does make sense because like. for all intents and purposes, That Is Not Falin anymore. she doesn't have the same desires as falin. (well she does seem to be protective but she at least doesn't feel that way towards the same people. like in my mind, it's like it still is falin with her same personality and desire to protect people, but the groups of "monsters" and "people i care about" have kinda been switched. but i think im the only person who thinks that) so like for all intents and purposes, she attacks adventurers including her own party just like any other monster would. and part of both moving on with the plot and the characters' development arcs is accepting that falin is gone. cause. for all intents and purposes. she is

but to meeeeeee she isn'ttttt you guysssssssss that's still falin in thereeeeeeeeee she just doesn't care that she used to be falin. idk maybe then my idea of chimera isn't "this is falin" nor "this is chimera" but rather "this is the entity formerly known as falin." cause like obviously she is chimera the way she behaves and also like having an animalistic body and a bit of dragon soul makes her act a bit more animalistic/monstrous and even i can admit that. but like you guysssssss what if it still waaaaaassss falin she's still in there to meeeee you guyss listen [people are folding up their chairs and leaving]

hope i am not just an anime-only dungeon meshi fan to you guys. but also in severe denial

[azucar-skull]

Just You And Me

(written for @tmnt-write-fight for @remedyturtles)

Fandom: Rise of the TMNT (Post movie)

Prompt: Autistic Donnie!!! Literally anything for autistic Donnie. Sensory overload, deep pressure hugs, food issues, the works.

Word Count: 3785

Posted on AO3 too!

-------------------------------------

A fun day at the beach. This was meant to be a fun day at the beach. A moment for the team to get away from the hustle of New York and enjoy a nice day out on a secluded beach where the turtles didn’t have to worry about any stray humans spotting them.

April, Cass, and Sunita were teaching Casey Jr the ropes of volleyball. Mikey was busy burying Raph in the sand and making him a mermaid tail. And Leo was heading out to catch some waves with an abandoned surfboard he found.

Donnie spent a good chunk of the time sitting in the umbrella shade. But the sand is now kicking onto his towel and just…ugh. Donnie is not a fan of sand. It gets everywhere and is a pain in the ass to get rid of. Besides, he’s supposed to be hanging out with his brothers, he promised them that much. The softshell spent the majority of his time in his lab, working endlessly day in and day out. He tried to say no to a beach day but his brothers weren’t having it. So…sigh…

The water seems nice. It is pretty hot out. And being an aquatic turtle, Donnie has no dispute about it. Plus it’d be funny to go underwater and prank Leo by knocking him off his surfboard. 

Alright, swimming it is, Donnie thought. He got up from his towel and headed down to the shores. He winces at the loud screech of April’s cheering, looking over to see that Casey Jr had punted the volleyball way out of bounds. The teen looks nervous and apologetic as the ball disappears into the aether, never to be seen again. But the girls all swarm him with hugs and cheers. They are being quite loud about it though.

Crunch.

Donnie stumbles back as he notices the strip of seashells lining the shores. He’s stepping on a few and it pokes the bare soles of his feet, eugh. The softshell carefully tries to maneuver around them—

“HEY DEE!!!”, Mikey bellows from down the shore, carrying a plastic red pail full of shells. “Can you grab me that white shell next to you?”

White shell? Sure. White shell, white shell… Donnie glances down and around him.

There are several white shells…

“W-Which one?!”, Donnie hollers back.

“Right next to your foot!”

His foot? Where?? Which foot?!?!?!

“...What????”

Mikey huffs a sigh. “Nevermind, I got it.”, he calls out, bounding his way over to his purple-clad brother. Mikey reaches behind Donnie and picks up the large white spiraling shell he almost stepped on. “I was talking about this one.”

“O-Oh, I see. My bad, I didn’t—”

“No, no, you’re good! I should’ve been more specific. Plus it was behind you.”, Mikey wavers his hand and offers a reassuring smile. “You having fun so far?”

“Uhh…yup!”, it’s not a total lie. But Donnie hasn’t done dick diddly since they got here.

“Cool! Wanna help me decorate Raph’s mermaid tail?”

Help decorate…but Don’s plan was to go in the water with Leo. But. Mikey’s asking for him and Donnie really doesn’t want to let his brothers down so…

“Okay.”, he nods. He could go swimming later anyways. This is okay. Just a little change. Not a big deal.

Don’t make it a big deal. It’s not. It’s literally just a change of plans.

Donnie follows Mikey over to where Raph is patiently waiting with his legs buried under a mound of sand that’s been sculpted into a rather impressive looking mermaid tail. Always leave it to the artist of the group to wow the others with his craftsmanship.

“I’m back! And I brought some help!”, Mikey beams, placing the now heavy bucket of shells down beside the snapper.

“Awesome! I’m going to be the coolest mermaid out there!”, Raph flashes a toothy grin at his brothers.

Donnie sits himself on Raph’s other side and simply follows Mikey’s direction in sorting all the shells into groups based on size, color, and general pattern. Bit by bit, they press the shells into the sand sculpture. While Mikey works the scales, Donnie presses large shell flakes into the fins. But he ends up pressing a bit too hard and the sand begins to topple over. The corner of the fin breaks apart, causing Raph’s foot to stick out.

“Oh crap! My bad, Raph, I didn’t mean to!”, Donnie winces at his mistake before snapping his head at the snapper.

Raph lets out a dramatic gasp, “My mermaid tail!! Oh no, the spell is wearing off! I’m turning back into a human—err…—turtle…”, Raph cries out. “My life is simply ruined! How could you betray me like this? My dearest brother?!” The alligator snapping turtle presses the back of his hand against his forehead as he flops back on his shell.

Oh shit. Shit! Raph’s mad at him. Of course he would be. How could Donnie make such a mistake? Sand is delicate and now Raph is—

Mikey’s laugh breaks through. “Alright, alright. Quit joking around, Raph. I’ll fix it. Just hold still again, would ya?”

Raph was…joking? He was joking. Oh. Right. Of course he was joking. Duh. How could Donnie think Raph was mad? It’s just sand. It’s an easy fix too. Raph was just having fun with him. Why couldn’t Donnie see that??

Mikey hums to himself as he scoops up the sand and pats it back in place again. Donnie wants to try and help some more but now he’s worried that he’ll just fuck it all up again. He clenches and unclenches his hands, hesitant to make a choice.

“Boys! Lunch time!”, April calls out to them.

“What?! Now?! But my mermaid tail!”, Raph whines.

“We can camp next to you then, Raph.”, April rolls her eyes fondly.

“Phew.”, Raph sighs, wiping his brow. He glances up ahead at Leo on his board. “Hey, Donnie, could you go grab Leo and tell him it’s time for lunch?”

“Yes!”, Donnie answers immediately, quickly standing up and a bit too eager to finally be helpful again. “U-uhm I mean, yeah. Sure thing. No probbles.”

Donnie hurries his way down to the shore, now mindful of the shells. He brisks the waterline to get in earshot of the slider before cupping his hands around his mouth.

“LEO! LUNCH!”, he shouts.

Leo can’t seem to hear him. Laughing to himself as he ducks under a wave, grazing the water with his palm. He looks so…joyful. At ease. It’s been a while since Donnie’s seen that. But…a growing turtle needs his food. Donnie huffs in annoyance and begins padding into the water, going deeper and deeper as the cold ocean water soaks the rims of his board shorts.

“Leo!”, Donnie tries again. “LEO!!!”

Still nothing. Guess Donnie finally gets to swim after all. He lurches forward before diving in. The refreshing cold water washes over him as the softshell blinks through the murky ocean and begins to swim after his twin. He sees where the water surface bobs and waves up ahead, where Leo is surfing. He just needs to get close enough for Leo to hear him.

He swims, no worry for his breath which he can hold for a good couple of hours if he wants. The water was hard to see through, unlike a swimming pool, but as long as Donnie focuses on the reflective rays of sunlight above, he could pinpoint where—

Something grabs his leg.

Something slimy, grainy, enrapturing around his leg. Tugging, pulling, yanking. Donnie yelps a muffled scream which takes all the air out with it, trying to kick away but it grabs hold of his other leg. Tugging and tugging and Donnie is kicking and kicking trying to break free but he can’t because the Kraangisyankinghimoutoftheslimyickyviolatingcontrolpanelsofthespaceship—

Suddenly, arms are pulling Donnie out of the water and he desperately gasps for air.

“You’re good, you’re good. I gotcha, Dontron.”, Leo assures as he pulls Donne up close for him to latch on to the surfboard. “What were you even doing down there?”

Donnie holds onto the back end of the board for dear life as he catches his breath. He blinks. Twice. Glancing around and registering that the slimy icky seaweed vines are no longer there. Because of course it was just seaweed. He knew that. He did.

“...What?”, Donnie asks dumbfoundedly, not registering Leo’s question.

“I said what were you doing?”, Leo raises a brow.

Donnie huffs in annoyance once again. “I was coming to get you for lunch time but then some seaweed grabbed me and…and I thought it was…something else.”

“Ugh! I hate that feeling!”, Leo scoffs, reeling his head back. “Every time that happens, I think it’s a stingray and I get all worked up about it.” The slider then scoots forward and pats the back of his surfboard. “Well come on then, let’s head back. I’m starving.”

Donnie graciously obliges, climbing up on the board and balancing himself on the center line. Leo glances behind him really quick but takes note of Donnie’s hands.

“Uhh…you might wanna grab on.”, he suggests.

Oh right, of course. Donne nods, scooting forward and gripping the edges of the surfboard but careful to not get too close to Leo. He’s still reeling from the icky seaweed just now. Leo cocks a brow before slowly turning his head back around.

“Oookay, that works. Let’s go.”

Leo paddles the two towards the shore, aiming for the wave that’s starting to form. Donnie fears for it to be a big one but the wave is simply tugged a bit out of the water, giving the board a gentle push that glides them back to the shore. Thank pizza supreme. He quickly gets off the second the ground is within leg range and pads out of the water with Leo to join up with the others.

The rest of the fam is setting up their picnic spot but the glorious snapper-mermaid as they start distributing sandwiches out from the cooler they brought. Leo and Donnie take a seat beside them all and that’s when Donnie is reminded of…sand.

The sand sticks to him like glue after his impromptu swim and near-drowning experience, getting stuck between his toes and grinding up against his scaly skin and—

“Here ya go, Donnie!”, April grins, passing him his sandwich.

Donnie accepts the offering, now distracted by just how hungry he is. He is most grateful that April and Mikey have packed sandwiches and chip bags for everyone. He opens up the plastic baggie and from the smell alone, he could tell it is a tuna salad sandwich. It sounds delightful. Donnie feels his tongue begin to salivate as he takes a big bite. Ah, finally, something nice. He chews on the bite, reminiscing in the delicious homemade flavors of the sandwich that Mikey made. He starts to feel a bit better too. He must’ve just been hangry this whole time—

CRONCH.

Donnie bit into something hard, hard like a rock. The texture is a startling difference from the softness of the sandwich and it throws the softshell off balance. Not wanting to spit it out in front of everyone, he crunches through the odd texture and gulps the bite down. He peaks into his sandwich to find a culprit but nothing is seen. He’s lost his appetite anyway, putting the rest back into the baggie and opting to thrive off of the potato chips for the time being.

The others are engaged in a lively conversation about how much of a fast learner Casey Jr is at volleyball. Donnie knows he should join in, they all urged him to come along on their beach day so he should be participating. But—

“Not eating your sandwich, Dee?”, Leo asks, though not unkindly.

Suddenly, eyes are on him. Donnie tries to glance up but the stares bore into him like heat lasers and he can’t bring himself to look back. Donnie shrugs through the embarrassment.

“Had a funny texture.”, he mumbles. “I-It tastes great though, Angelo. Really.”

“I believe ya, Don.”, Mikey smiles. At least…Donnie could hear the smile. “Sorry the texture’s off.”

“Well here, you still need something…”, Leo adds. He peels away at his sandwich, separating the bread from everything else and holding the tuna salad parts in his other hand. He hands the bread to his twin. “Here, you can have this. Bread is good, right?”

“O-oh, no. You don’t have to do that.”, Donnie shakes his hand at the offering.

“It’s fine, I prefer the salad straight up anyways.”, Leo assures. “Come on, don’t let this bread go to waste.”

“I…okay.”

Donnie takes the bread slides, munching away at them as the conversation picks up where it left off. The bread has the delicious tuna flavor to it though so at least that’s good. But Donnie still feels bad for being so picky about things. He doesn’t mind tuna. So why is this bothering him now?

“It is settled then!”, Cass’s loud voice breaks through the conversation. “All of us shall compete in a game of volleyball!”

“Aw, yeah! I’m in!”, April nods.

“Sounds great!”, Mikey beams.

“But…my mermaid tail…”, Raph whines.

“FUCK YOUR MERMAID TAIL!”, Cass shouts as she stands up and kicks over the beautifully and carefully crafted mermaid tail that Mikey put his blood, sweat, and tears into. “EVERYONE TO THE NET!”

The rest of the gang bound for the net as Raph mourns the tragic loss of his beloved mermaid tail before catching up with the rest of them. They split into two teams. Leo, Donnie, April, and Sunita on one team. And Raph, Mikey, Casey Jr, and Cass on the other team. Donnie opts to be the back end guy, away from the action where people could crash into each other and start screaming their heads off.

The game begins, April serves (and slays) the ball into the air and the tension begins. A point to Donnie’s team, then a point to the other team. The ball aims at Donnie’s direction a few times, but he stammers to hit back whenever Leo steps in a bit. He’s doing it to be ready to help but knowing Leo’s “No, no, I got this one.” attitude that almost cost them an entire apocalypse, Donnie is rendered hesitant. After a couple serves, Leo catches on and instead sends Donnie a reassuring nod when the ball comes his way again. The softshell does pretty well for the most part. Not too much action but enough that he’s helpful. He likes to be helpful. 

The ball is served again, a tie breaker now, and it hits into the other team’s side. Casey Jr quickly steps into the ball's line of flight, jumping high up in the air and smacking the ball across the net with such force that it slams into Donnie’s team’s side in an easy point hit. But the ball quickly rebounds and bounces up towards Donnie at lightning speed and before Donnie could even register it’s trajectory—

WHAM!

Donnie is knocked off his feet as the ball hits him square in the chin and makes the softshell bite his own tongue. He falls back against the grainy sand. And suddenly everything Donnie’s been trying to keep down all day suddenly snaps. He quickly sits up, tucking his head down as he is suddenly made aware of every little thing around him. The sun is too bright, everyone’s concerned shouting is too loud, his jaw and chin hurt, he’s still hungry because bread and chips is not a lunch meal, there’s fucking sand everywhere and it’s all just…too much.

A high-pitched whine escapes his throat through clenched teeth before Donnie is sucking in a large breath. He clutches his hands against his forehead and rocks himself in place. The sounds he’s making are not of his own volition but at least it has thankfully stopped the shouting. Donnie barely registers what everyone is saying but it doesn’t matter because they’re all focusing on him. Staring and boring their eyes into him so much that it hurts like heat vision rays determined to melt the flesh off his bones and all Donnie wants right now is to get away and maintain some of his fucking dignity.

“Deep breath, Tello. It’s just me right now. Just you and me. You and me.”, Leo’s voice hushes close by. “Deep breath. With me. In…and out. In…and out.”

Donnie tries to follow but his breathing comes in desperate gasps. He manages though. He tries.

“That’s good. You got it. You so got it.”

Donnie begs to fucking differ.

“Come here. You up for a hug?”

Donnie doesn’t even answer yet and there’s arms wrapped around him. They feel icky at first until they tighten, harder and harder. And now Donnie latches onto his twin like a lifeline. He doesn’t dare open his eyes, he can’t. Everything is just too much. But he holds on. It’s all he can do right now.

“There we go. You’re good. I got you.”

Leo shushes him calmly, still holding on as tightly as he dares until Donnie’s panicked rocking slows down. Donnie curls up as much as he can, wrecked with uncontrollable whines and sobs.

“There, there, mellizo. I’m here.”, Leo murmurs. “You wanna go home? Hm?”

A gentle suggestion. And honestly, Donnie would love nothing more than to get the fuck outta here. But…his brothers wanted him to be here. And if he leaves, they’ll want to leave too. He doesn’t want that.

“...I don’t want to ruin the fun.”, he whispers, barely audible, but Leo is holding him so close that he doesn’t have to be loud to be heard.

“You’re not ruining anything, I promise.”, Leo whispers back.

“I’d feel bad if they all want to leave too.”

“Hm…yeah, I get you. We can ask them to stay here, if you want. We could head back together, just you and me.

“...Just you and me…”

“You got it.” Leo shifts, craning his neck up at the others. “We’re gonna head back to base, you guys carry on though!”

Raph hums in concern. “Are ya sure? Raph don’t mind—”

“Yes, we’re sure. Go on. Continue the game without us. Mikey, switch with our team. Avenge our honor.”

“Uhm…sure!”, Mikey replies. “If that’s what Donnie wants.”

A pause, and Donnie realizes they want him to say something. But he could only muster a subtle nod.

“Dee would be honored to have you take his spot.”, Leo assures. “We’ll take my portals back so just give me a call when you’re done and I can teleport you all back.”

“You be sure to give us a call too if you need anything, okay?”, April insists.

“Absolutely!”

Leo shifts to get up but Donnie still grabs onto him tightly. The slider makes no fuss though, hoisting Donnie up with him and guiding the two back to the shade where a blue shimmering light forms. Donnie is guided through the light until everything feels a comforting familiar. The softshell blinks his eyes open to see the dimly lit lair before them. It almost looks completely dark but that’s simply Donnie’s eyes adjusting to being out in the bright sunlight all day. Leo sets his swords aside and gives his twin a patient smile.

“Hey bud, how’s your chin? Does it hurt?”, he asks softly. And thank fuck for it, Donnie doesn’t think he can handle much more stimuli.

His chin doesn’t hurt anymore now though. So Donnie just shakes his head, not wanting to engage in eye contact right now.

“Hm…how about all that sand, huh?”

Now Leo’s speaking his language. Donnie subtly nods which prompts Leo to gently grab his hand and guide him down the hall.

“Let’s head to the bathroom then before we get sand everywhere.”

They head into the bathroom where Leo grabs some towels from the rack. He passes one to Donnie before shaking off his own sandy skin in turn. The sand, now drying off, flakes away with ease which Donnie is most grateful for. He takes extra care to pick away the sand stuck between his toes and fingers before yanking off his bandana when he discovers how much sand got stuck up in it. Once the twins are sand-free, Leo ushers him out of the bathroom.

“Come on, it’s hoodie time.”

They head down to their rooms where Donnie is more than agreeing to dress out into something more comfortable and dry. He puts on his usual shorts and his large oversized purple hoodie before stepping out and sees that Leo has done the same in a blue hoodie.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Are you kidding? I don’t want to keep wearing those damp sandy clothes anymore.”, Leo chuckles. “Come on, let’s pop on a movie. You pick. I’ll grab some snacks. Something more filling than bread, I bet.”

Call it twin instinct, but Donnie is glad that Leo is able to read his mind. He heads down to the TV room and shuffles through a few options before opting for his go-to Jupiter Jim comfort movie. Something mindless he can just focus on. As he settles on the couch, Leo comes back with a couple juice boxes and instant noodle cups. Donnie soaks up the minimal warmth of his ramen cup as Leo snuggles up next to him. Together, the two just sit in peaceful silence, enjoying their noodles and the movie. But something still stirs in Donnie’s gut.

“...I’m sorry.”, he murmurs.

“For what?”

“For not being as participating as I should’ve been today. You guys have been insisting I come along and I owe it to you after locking myself up in the lab for a long while. I tried to be more sociable but…it was all just too much.”

“Hey. We wanted you to tag along because you’re our brother and we wanted you to feel included.”, Leo presses. “You didn’t have to come with if you didn’t want to and even if you wanted, you still didn’t have to push yourself beyond your comfort zone. We would never want you to make yourself uncomfortable for us, Dee.”

“...Yeah…you’re right.”

“Well of course I am.”, Leo flaunts. “Who would you be without your genius twin?”

“Excuse you, that’s my line.”, Donnie smirks. “...I still like going to the beach. Just…not now. I guess.”

Leo wraps his arm around his brother. “Then we’ll head out again some other time. Just you and me.”

“Yeah…

“Just you and me.”

-------------------------------------

This was the longest attack I've made so far for write fight and tbh I am kinda bummed that it's a friendly fire one too so the points ain't that much BUT THE RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR HAS SPOKEN SO I DO NOT QUESTION THE RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR GODS!!!

Hope you like it, Rem! Consider it a fuck you and a thank you for writing firefight. (I still gotta catch up. Why does Donnie want to eat bananas--)

[angelphone1]

introduction!!!!!

hi!! i'm angelphone! i'm a wallflower who finally obtained the courage to create a whump blog :) i remember falling asleep to whumpy fantasies since i was wayy younger but i never had a word for it until now! i'll try to be active and i like interacting with posts that otherwise have no comments or anything because i know how it sucks if nobody wants to read what you've written. be the change you want to see in the world yk? truly do not be afraid to @ me for anything if you want me to yell about it in the tags :)

oh and requests are 100% open!! no guarantees since motivation comes and goes but feel free to send something in!!

whump stuff i like:

addiction/alcoholism (especially when forced or initiated by whumper)

carewhumpersssss!!!

whumpers who are complicated and kinda make you feel bad for them

depressed/anxious/suicidal whumpees

lady whump .

medical whump (in the sense of, whumpee is injured and needs to be taken care of, especially when hospitalized)

self-inflicted injuries (ties into addiction/alcoholism, but any situation where whumpee does something bad and impulsive to themselves for whatever reason)

injuries without immediate care (infections left to fester, hidden wounds, whumpee "powering through" the pain, and especially the juiciness of the eventual reveal and/or the potential relief that comes with it being noticed)

abusive/controlling whumpers

looking at it that kind of just describe my wip lol.

whump stuff i most likely won't write (still feel free to @ me if you want me to read your stuff that has these things in it! just not something i'm crazy about, i don't want to rain on anyone's parade)

sadistic whumpers (generally i find them really one dimensional, but that's just me)

gags (i don't quite get the hype)

the sort of generic sort of torture whump where whumpee is kidnapped and hurt for whumper's amusement, which just seems to be a really common scenario

i'm sure there are more but uhh i fogror.

here's a peek at my current projects (as of right now, i only have one):

Chronic Letdown (title subject to change lol)

Esmeralda St. Luc has finally started to figure her life out. She broke up with her abusive ex. She got over her shitty mother's death. She stopped drinking. She got a job, and an apartment, and can finally imagine a future for herself, with the endless support of her best-friend-maybe-something-more Astrid and her family, who are convinced that Esmeralda deserves better than what she gives herself.

However, when her ex --- Heather --- abruptly re-inserts herself into Esmeralda's life, it threatens to destroy every single thing she's worked for; Esmeralda and Heather spiral, with each other's help, further into mutual self-loathing, and Astrid has no idea what to do when her best friend keeps showing up with new bruises. Eventually, she stops showing up at all; and Esmeralda's brutal crash out will give her scars she's not sure she can ever recover from.

Chapter 1: THE KICK

thanks for reading!!! i hope i see you all around! feel free to rb or dm or send me an ask if you want to chat or you want me to follow you :3333

[unclewaynemunson]

Wingman Wayne AU pt4 is here! | AO3 link

Eddie comes back home from his not-a-date with Steve much later than planned; the two of them ended up spending the whole afternoon at the cafe together, sharing stories, getting to know each other, laughing at weird passersby... Eddie hadn't even noticed how much time had passed until it was already getting dark outside.

Wayne is about ready to head out for his night shift when Eddie gets to the trailer, and shoots him a way too smug look.

'So your date went well, huh?'

Eddie makes a face at him. ‘Don’t jump to conclusions too quickly, old man,’ he says. ‘In all honesty, I do have to admit that Steve’s actually a good guy - but that’s the only credit you’ll be gettin’ here. We merely had a fun time bonding over some queer stuff. I can assure you that there was completely no attraction whatsoever.’

Wayne's face drops. 'That's too bad, Ed.'

'No, it's not,' Eddie replies. 'I'm perfectly happy being single, you do know that, right?'

'Yeah, of course.' But it doesn't quite sound like he means it.

'Seriously, don't worry about me. I'm fine,’ Eddie says. He gives Wayne an affectionate pat on his near-bald head. ‘And you should go to work now, before they fire you for being a sentimental old man.'

As soon as Wayne’s truck drives off, Eddie finds himself at the phone, the gross note with Steve's number on it clenched in his hand again.

'Hey, um, just wanted to let you know that uncle was very disappointed there was no spark between us,' Eddie reports when Steve picks up the phone.

'Well, let's hope he finally learned his lesson not to mingle in your love life, then,' Steve answers with a light chuckle.

'He's the worst,' Eddie says, but then immediately feels bad about it, so he adds, 'He actually means well. I think he worries. Not that he needs to, I decided I'm better off single anyway.'

'Really?' Steve sounds surprised.

'Yeah, I guess I'm not exactly a relationship type of guy, you know.'

'You've never been in a relationship?' There's no judgment behind the question, only curiosity.

'Uhh...' Eddie hesitates. But Steve's queer too, he'd understand, right?

'I don't know,' he settles on saying. 'I mean, I've been someone's dirty secret a couple times. Turns out that my definition of a relationship doesn't always align with that of closeted Chads. So that’s why I decided I'm better off alone.'

There's a silence at the other end of the line, and Eddie wonders if he overshared again. He knows he shouldn't do that, but sometimes he just can't help himself. He had been so excited about having met a fellow queer guy, someone who'd understand him... Maybe he misjudged Steve after all.

'You do know there are options out there that aren't closeted Chads, right?' Steve finally says. It sounds genuinely empathetic, putting a halt to Eddie's spiraling thoughts and reminding him that he doesn't need to worry, that Steve's a good guy, that he indeed understands.

Eddie laughs. 'Sorry, Stevie, you're still not my type.'

'I'm not – that's wasn't – I didn't mean it like that,' Steve splutters at the other end of the line. 'I just meant, you know, it’s not completely impossible that there could be someone out there for you. Someone who won't treat you like some dirty secret, who will love you as much as you deserve, you know?'

Eddie feels his cheeks heat up at those words. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling nervous but not exactly knowing why. 'You're starting to sound like my uncle,' he tries to joke.

Steve chuckles. 'Maybe your uncle is wiser than you give him credit for.'

'Are you calling yourself wise, Steve?'

'No, I'm calling your uncle wise. You should probably listen to him more.'

'If I listened to him more, we'd be going on another date tomorrow and get married this summer. Is that what you want, Stevie?'

'Well, the getting married this summer sounds a bit rushed,' Steve says, 'but I wouldn't mind seeing you again.'

Eddie's heart drops to his stomach. 'Steve...' he starts, all the jokey undertones having disappeared from his voice. 'I told you that it's not like that, for me.' He thought he had been more than clear about that right from the start, in fact.

'No! Oh, God, no, I didn't mean it like that,' Steve immediately says. 'I just meant, like, if you ever wanna hang out or something... As friends, you know. It's um – it'd be nice to have a – another queer friend.'

Eddie releases a relieved breath. 'Okay, got it,' he says. 'Good. Perfect. Yeah, we should definitely hang out another time. As friends.'

Pt5

Jesus H Christ I’m honestly blown away by the response to this silly au, it means so much to me <333 I’m reading all your lovely comments and hilarious tags with the biggest smile on my face, makes me sooo happy!!

(Update: apparently there was something wrong with the taglist but I think I fixed it, sorry!! Please lemme know if the tags are still not coming through)

Taglist: @phantypurple @love-kurdt @eddiemunsonswife @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @swimmingbirdrunningrock @paintsplatteredandimperfect @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @yourebuckingkiddingme @th3-r4t-k1ng @messrs-weasley @moonshadows-13 @im-sam-fucking-winchester @xjessicafaithx @yournowheregirl @henderdads @lwhoscribbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @rainydays35  @cassaloopa @skeliiix @thesuninyaface @silversnaffles @jestyzesty @4nemo1egend @ace-of-foxes @harringtonsgother @thegingervulcan @snapshotmaestro @thereindeerlady @jillfriend @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @gamerdano @spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @00biscuit @mixsethaddams @steve-the-hairrington @episcogoth @caligularib @gaydrieeen @winterbuckwild @bookbinderbitch @daysarestranger @nonbinary-eddie-munson @fangirltofangod @solalasoforth @obsessivlyme @slit-wrist @fxndom-hoe @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @joruni @roastingdragon @lenore1232 @princessstevemunson @cuips-not-cute @munsonsuccubus @justalittlefungi @cherrycolas-things @nitrilexam @thepainisspicy @hopefulslothcollecter @whatisreggieshortfor @doctorqueensanatomy @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @sadcanadianwinter @iamsotiredman @orangeandthefairroadkill @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @b-icetea @freddykicksasses @faery-god @poleaxed-aloe @mamaclownhunter @paperbackribs @blvckwidow @mightbeasleep @butuglypeoplefucktoo @lolawon @angryavocadofrog @iwouldsail @livelaughlexa @magpiemuseum @shushuac  @ravnlinn @homohomohoe @kissaphobic-kas @cmackz93 @your-greatest-queen @alltheweirdkidsinoneplace @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @ceaselessly-watching @anaibis @enchantedlandcoffee @fluffy-alpaca-of-darkness @nelotegreitic @mollymawkwrites @evix-syne666 @redfreckledwolf @ajamlessbaby @connected-dots @nothisisntmyname @steddieassheg0es @anxiouseds

[cringefail-clown]

Soo, uhh, what's the story on how kankri got his sign and all? As an ancestor lover, I'm curious about what happened to kankri's ancestor. Was it one of feferi's first instances of being a cruel empress? (idk if that's what I should say, but oh well) Does kankri have a vague idea of what happened (if something bad did happen) like how karkat had an idea of what happend to the sufferer/signless?

Anyways, I love your AU and the art you make for it!

the symbol came from the same place - the irons that bound the signless hand, but how it came to be is a pretty different story.

im trying to think bout it from the classpect angle - like how in canon the signless was post scratch kankri, so his abilities as a seer of blood allowed him to get glimpses from his pre scratch life, which inspired him to try and change things for the better. but in the au, its karkat who's in the role of the signless, and he aint no seer, hes a knight, he protects with his aspect and protects his aspect. i think the blood powers would carry some memories as well, maybe not so clear like how it was for kankri, but karkat would get the vague feeling of this is wrong.

i think hed see what feferi as empress was trying to do, and would be like "wait a fucking minute she just tries to treat lower classes like some kind of animals that have to be under care of highbloods" and hed be PISSED bc hed rather die than have some highblood asshole coddle him his whole life just bc of his blood mutation.

so hed be like "actually fuck you and fuck the monarchy" and hed start preaching bout the better world where all the blood castes have a say in how their society works (like how it was on tb!beforus) and karkats really good at getting people to follow him. so thats how the movement against the empress would start, and when the news about the revolution would reach feferi she would be pissed then, bc she wants a better life for them and this is how theyre repaying her, by wanting to overthrow her?? and it spirals from here into karkats execution and feferi becoming more and more paranoid

as for if kankri knows how things went, well he does! he gets visions of his past and future selves through dreams, some are nice, but most of the time theyre terryfying (so he just,, stops sleeping). its a mix between his time on beforus and how society was like there, some of karkats memories as the signless get into it too as they're kinda bound by blood ie. the ancestry stuff, and also he gets some visions of the post-game on earth c! those are his favourite. im thinking hard bout everyones aspects, i also liked the idea of kankri being able to "sense" past and future relationships between ppl (for example he can vaguely tell when ppl have history between them and if its positive or not, or he just gets one look at roxy and porrim and goes "yeah theyre gonna be insufferably in love"), its all a work in progress tho!

[toothpastecanyon]

Return, to the Scene of the Crime - Chapter 3

Playing human again, Alcor makes it longer than he usually does. He's in college now, juggling classes, family, a curious vampire, and a strange, increasingly sinister web of mysteries weaving themselves around him. Without his omniscience to guide the way, he'll have to work hard to get to the bottom of this before it spirals out of control.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

“Now, class, can anyone tell me what year the Dinner Crew was founded? Anyone?”

One hand went up, and a wave of snickers spread through the lecture hall. The professor pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Can anyone other than Lucy Ann put their hand up, please? Okay, Dipper?”

“Um, I’m confused. Is it 2048 when Hank moved to Portland, or 2049 when the first Dinner Crew charter was signed?”

“Uh...”

“Definitely 2048.” Lucy Ann sat back in her chair. “That’s when I joined.”

The professor tried for his politest smile. “Oh-kay, uh, Lucy Ann?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s, um, really an honour to have you sitting in on History of Early Transcendence-”

“Hey, no problem.”

“But! Hah, but, um, the problem is you’re not actually registered as one of our students? So if you could maybe refrain from answering questions…?”

“Oh, sure.” She picked her teeth. “No problem.”

“Thanks, I’m glad you understand. Class, obviously, we’re going by the date of the official charter, so on your test it’ll be 2049.” He changed slides. “Now, can anyone tell me who the first leader of the Dinner Crew was?”

No hands, this time. All the students had craned their heads around to look at Lucy Ann.

“Anybody?” He looked around the room with a frozen grin, wringing his hands. “Uh, hah, come on guys, let’s wake up! Oh! Yes, uh… Okay, Dipper. Again.”

“Hank Pines?” Dipper blinked as Lucy Ann whispered in his ear. “And his middle name was- wait, you’re messing with me, there’s no way he was called Forrest Pines!”

“Oh, you’d better believe it.” She chucked to herself. “Also, you know, Hank was the founder, but it was really a cooperative effort back in those days. Plus people always leave out Vivienne – ticks me off, honestly. I mean, if I had to pick a leader, I might even say it was her!”

The professor gazed out at the sea of students nodding along and taking notes with all the airs of a captain looking at his sinking ship.

Later the class ended, and Dipper was packing up his magi-orb as everyone in the room was filing out. Lucy Ann glanced over at him.

“What’s the next one?”

“Uhh, Russian, in like an hour.”

“Oh, yeah, your Russian class. Am I still-”

“Oh, yeah, you’re still very banned.”

“Well, nobody told me they tweaked the alphabet since I learned it! I was like, ‘why’s she leaving out so many letters?”

Dipper rose to his feet with a chuckle. “Yeah, we all heard.”

“Yeah, yeah, извини. ” Arms crossed, she followed him out. “So, we got an hour, huh? Wanna get something to eat?”

“Ehhh, it’s like a twenty minute walk across campus. There’s nothing really around there.”

“Oh.”

He glanced back. “But we can do something if you want! I’m sure we can-”

“Oh, no, no. Don’t worry about it – heh, believe me, I can entertain myself.” They were going outside; Lucy Ann split off and waved at him. “I’ll see you back at the dorms, alright!”

“O-oh, uh, alright!” Dipper stood there for a second, a little surprised at how abruptly she excused herself, but then he shrugged to himself. “Alright.”

It was always annoying to walk to his Russian class, but on a day like this, he didn’t mind too much. The sun was shining high overhead, a little too hot but not bad in the shade of the trees lining the path. He crossed a green, and saw groups of students hanging out on the grass, gentle laughter drifting his way like the lazy breeze tousling his hair. It was the kind of image he always pictured when he thought of college, him and Mal and their friends talking about their classes, studying together – and he’d never finish his sentence before Mal’d give him a shove and say something like, “Me? Studying? Do you even know me?”

He gave a little chuckle under his breath… one that ended in a sigh. Oh, Mal. He couldn’t believe she’d had to drop out. She was always the one talking about how exciting it’d be to move out; ugh, it wasn’t fair. It was… it just… he wished he could do something about it, you know?

Ugh… maybe he’d give her a call.

Digging in his pocket, he drew out his phone, and scrolled to her contact. The phone rang a good few times; he thought she wasn’t gonna answer, but at the last second it went through - and it sounded like a factory.

“Mal?” He cringed and held the phone a little away from his ear. “Hey, uh, Mal, you there? If you’re talking, I can’t hear you! Mal?”

He thought he heard a mumbling sound through the roar, and then suddenly it dropped to a background sound. Her voice came through in a crackle. “…stupid - oh, there we go. Dipper?”

“Hey, Mal! Where are you?”

“Sorry, I’m just next to the cremation machine. You know how loud that thing is - the noise wards are working now, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I can hear you.”

“Cool. So what do you need?”

“What do I-?” Dipper blinked. “Oh, uh, nothing! Just thought I’d, you know, call.”

“Oh!”

“I-I guess you’re busy, though? Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“No, no, that’s… thanks! I just wasn’t expecting it - one sec.” There were some fumbling noises, and then her voice sounded a little clearer. “Just put on some headphones - you can still hear me, right?”

“Yeah!”

“Cool.”

“Yeah, cool…” Dipper said, and cleared his throat. “So! Uh, how are you?”

“Oh, you know. Working. Just uh-“ There was a faint slamming sound. “Getting ready for this cremation. Guy’s got a pacemaker, so I gotta take it out before it explodes in the machine, haha!”

“Oh, haha. Cool.”

“Well, I dunno if I’d call it cool, but it does make me feel a bit like a surgeon, so that’s a little fun. Sometimes I say, ‘We’re losing him!’, that’s,” she laughed to herself. “That’s my little joke.”

Dipper snorted. “Hah! I like that.”

“Oh, finally, someone laughs! You know, it’s usually a tough crowd in here, eh?”

“Well, I’d be more worried if they did laugh!”

“Hah! You’re not wrong there!”

They both chuckled to themselves for a moment. Mallory cleared her throat.

“But yeah, other than that, uh, nothing new. Dad’s doing okay.” A pause. “How’s your life?”

His life. Dipper looked around at the beautiful sunny day, and cringed. “Oh, yeah, it’s, it’s alright. I’m, uh, still at college, doing… college stuff.”

Mal was icily silent, and Dipper gave himself a mental smack on the head; why were these the words his brain was choosing to say? He gave a nervous laugh.

“B-but, uh, haha, I didn’t call just to talk about me! So you’re doing cremations now, huh? That’s cool! That’s great, I-“

“Dipper.”

Dipper swallowed. “Yeah?”

She paused, seeming to think over her words, and then she sighed. “Look, I… I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to bite your head off the other day. It was really nice to see you again, it’s just, stressful, right now, you know?”

“No, no, I get it. With Dad and the funeral home.”

A snort. “Yeah, amongst other things… but hey. You know I’m proud of you, right? My little brother, getting into honors college!”

Dipper grinned. “Little brother? We’re the same age!”

“My little baby brother,” she said, and they both laughed. “So hey. I wanna hear how your day is, okay?”

“Okay.” He nodded. “Okay!”

“So! Dipper! How is your day going?”

He smiled. “Well, it’s going good. I just got out of Early Transcendence History… walking to my Russian class. It’s - heh, it’s way on the other side of campus, and you get out right at lunchtime but there’s like nothing around!”

“Oh, boo.”

“Right? You walk like twenty minutes over there, and then you gotta walk twenty minutes back to get something to eat!”

“You can’t just drive there?”

“I mean, technically, yeah, but there’s no parking close by. You just end up walking again.”

“Sounds like a real nightmare.” A pause. “Oh, come on!”

“What?”

“Some blood just squirted on my shirt - ugh, I really gotta remember to put on the stupid apron.” He could hear her trying to brush her shirt. “But, uh, yeah, what else? Made any cool new friends?”

“Friends? Uh, well…” he heard Mal snickering, and rolled his eyes. “No, no, I’ve made friends! There’s this guy Darren down the hall from me, and…”

And Lucy Ann, he thought, but god, she was such a strange development he still didn’t know how to bring her up. Mallory cut in.

“Okay, so Darren down the hall, that’s one more than I thought you’d have by now.”

“Oh, and I guess I talked to - Marsh!”

“March?”

“I almost forgot, I do have news! You know how I always wanted to start my own ghosthunting show?”

“Whaaat?” She said in mock surprise. “I’ve never heard that before.”

“Hah, well, you know, I think I’m kind of starting to get known for hunting ghosts around here.” He grinned. “Some person called Marsh called me out to her apartment yesterday. We had a look, scanned around for ghosts…”

“Cool! Did’ja find any?”

He deflated. “Uh, well…”

“Sounds promising.”

He tried for a laugh, but then he shook his head. “Yeahhh, I mean… we decided it probably wasn’t a ghost.”

“Probably?”

“I mean, your necklace didn’t light up at all. And you know how sensitive it is, right?”

“Yeah, you kept getting headaches with the old versions. I had to drop the blocking threshold riiight to the floor.”

“Right!” He nodded. “And even weak ghosts put out a lot of magic, so there couldn’t have been a ghost in that apartment. There couldn’t have been.”

A pause. “Okay.”

“And I mean it could’ve just been… a series of coincidences, you know? It’s an old apartment, maybe it’s no big deal if the toilet flushes by itself, the TV turns on… she said the fridge kept opening…”

“Well, maybe it’s not a ghost.”

“Huh?”

"So let me get this straight. The toilet flushes by itself, the fridge opens by itself, and you think that’s a haunting?”

Dipper blinked. “What do you mean?”

“You’re really not seeing it? Who’s the real family genius here, huh?” She chuckled to herself. “I mean, I know you love the preternatural stuff, but that doesn’t sound like a ghost to me. That sounds like she’s got an extra roommate.”

“What, you mean, like… there’s someone else living with her?”

“I dunno, do ghosts go to the toilet? Do they use the fridge?”

“Wh- but-“

“Do they watch TV?” She snorted. “I mean, maybe I’m wrong, but I’m just saying.”

“But that… doesn’t make any sense! Marsh said nothing was stolen, a-and she didn’t see anyone in her house! How could someone just hide away like that? And why would they be hiding? Why would they-“

And then he stopped. Dead.

His eyes went wide. His stomach dropped.

“I dunno,” Mal was saying, and her words just washed over him. “That’s just my theory. Maybe…”

“The jewelry store.”

“What?”

“It’s the jewelry store,” he breathed, and then the gravity of it caught up with him. “Oh, my stars, Mal, the jewelry store robbery! What if it’s him?”

“Wh- jewelry store heist? What are you talking about?”

“Somebody robbed a jewelry store a few blocks from campus - really close to Marsh’s apartment!” Oh my stars, he thought, they drove right past it on the way over! “What if it’s him hiding there! What if - oh, shit, Marsh!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, what are you talking about?”

“It’s-“ He turned around and took off running. “Oh, I can’t explain now, she could be in trouble!”

“Nobody’s in trouble! Dipper, nobody’s in trouble, don’t-“

“I gotta go!”

“No, Dipper! Dipper, don’t-“

He hung up, and dashed back across campus as fast as his legs could take him, his backpack bouncing on his shoulders. He struggled to tap Lucy Ann’s contact; he was nearly to the parking lot by the time he managed to call her.

“Y’ello-“

“Lucy Ann!” He gasped. “Marsh - apartment! Gotta - whoo, gotta get there!”

“What? Wait, what’s going on?”

“I… figureditout!” He stumbled to his car door, almost too out of breath to talk. “Go - go there! I’ll explain!”

“Marsh? What’s wrong? Are you in-“

“I gotta go!”

Then he hung up, and struggled to call Marsh as he pulled out of the parking lot. Shit, she wasn’t picking up; he tried again, and groaned when it rang out. She didn’t even have a voicemail!

Then his phone started buzzing, and he quickly made to answer it - but wait, oh, it was just his sister. She was probably really confused why he hung up… but he didn’t have time, he had to get there now!

He’d explain later.

______________________________________________________________

As panicked as he was, Dipper couldn’t help but park neatly before shutting off his car. He stared up at the apartment for a moment, took a breath, and got out. He took the stairs up two at a time, sprinted for her door, and started knocking on it.

“Marsh! Marsh! Are you in there? Marsh!”

At first he thought she wasn’t home, but just as he thought of stopping he heard footsteps. Footsteps… Dipper suddenly thought of who else might be in there, but before he could do much more than step back the door was opening.

“Wh- you again?” Marsh rubbed her eyes as she glared at him. “Dude, I’m working tonight. You can’t just-“

“You’re in-!” He stopped himself, and leaned in close to whisper. “I think you’re in danger.”

“What?”

“Just come outside for a second,” he said, and led her a little ways from the door. “You remember when I came to find the ghost?”

“Yeah, that happened yesterday. What about it?”

“I think I figured out where it is… and what it is, I…” he thought for a moment. “Can I look in your roommate’s room?”

“Uh, sure? But what’s so dangerous about it?”

“I - I need to make sure. Just… stay back for a second, okay?”

“Uh, okay.” She frowned in concern. “Be careful, dude.”

Be careful - Dipper was opening the door when those words hit him. This was… this was actually pretty dangerous, wasn’t it?

Maybe he should call the police? But no, how would he explain this to them? And what if they didn’t find anything - he’d look like an idiot! Suddenly all the cracks in this theory were starting to show, but he was in too deep now.

No, he just needed to play it cool, find proof, and then he’d be out. Easy!

“Uh, okay, Marsh!” Dipper said, loudly. “I’m just here to look for ghosts again, like we agreed!”

Shit, he just realised something about himself: he was a terrible actor. Dipper waited for a response from the house, but it was silent. Was he not here, or…?

He thought for a moment, then an idea struck him. Putting his backpack down on the couch, he started rifling through it; come on, he didn’t put it away, right? It had to be- aha!

Drawing out the Ouija board, Dipper held it in front of him, and pretended to stare at it very intently. He moved it this way and that, and then acted like he was picking something up.

He walked down the hall, steps echoing in the silence. His breath felt too loud; his heartbeat sounded like a drumbeat in his ears. He took a look in the bathroom, then approached the ever-ajar door to the bedroom like he was sneaking up on a rattlesnake - a cautious shuffle forwards, a head peeking through the door, looking around for-

Ding!

With a little scream he dropped the board and jumped back, only to realise - it was his phone! Oh, just his phone, just his phone. He reached in his pocket to silence it, and gave a little laugh.

“Uh, whoops!” He tried for a grin. “D-dropped it, haha…”

Oh, this was such a bad idea. He gathered up the board with shaking hands, and held it out in front of him like a shield as he stepped through the door. The floor was warped in here, the floorboards uneven and shrieking under his weight. He cringed as he took another squeaky step forwards, and looked around.

No one was here… but the dresser across the room was closed. Swallowing hard, he crossed the floor, grasped the handle, and opened it up.

Just clothes, he saw, and let out a breath. Okay - okay okay okay. If this guy was really hiding here, he must be out at the moment.

Thank the stars… but now what? He could be gone forever - Dipper cringed at that. Maybe he spooked him off yesterday… or maybe he thought he had them fooled, which means he’d come back. And if he was coming back, he’d want to leave some stuff behind here, right? So it’d be hidden somewhere.

A grimace. That made sense… at least, it sounded like it did. So if he could only find a stash, that was evidence!

But where would it be? He looked around the room, took another peek in the closet, and frowned. Hmmm… maybe the posters? Oh, yeah, maybe he put them in a hole behind them!

He took a step towards the poster, and a loud creak echoed through the room.

He paused, there. Leaned from one foot to another - creaaaaak . He could feel the floorboards shift a little under his feet, and when he took another step, this one was even looser. Huh.

There was a rug right by the bed. Dipper stepped towards it, put the Ouija board down, and grasped it by the corner. He gently slid it away, and he could see it immediately; one floorboard was so loose it came out of place just by the movement of the rug.

Dipper rushed to kneel in front of it. Quickly he took out his phone, and shone it down; it was dusty down there, and he thought he could make out something… but it was covered by another floorboard. He pulled up that one as well, shone it down again, and gasped.

There was a small, dusty backpack under the floorboards, and when he reached for it, he felt the weight - it was much heavier than it looked, and there was a tantalising clinking sound that sent his heart right into his throat. With shaking fingers he reached down to open it; he grasped the zipper, dragged it slowly down the side, opened the bag, and gasped as he saw-

Creaaak.

A sound behind him. Before Dipper could move, something cold and metal shoved itself against his temple.

A voice, low and hard and seething.

“You think I’m fucking stupid, don’t you?”

Dipper glanced back - glanced, then felt the gun shove itself harder against him. But he’d seen it: there was no one behind him. “Wha- what, I-I-“

“Fucking around with this ghost shit, pretending you didn’t know I was here the whole fucking time - she set you up to this, didn’t she! She wants to cut me out of the fucking deal!”

His voice was the scariest thing Dipper had ever heard. He felt himself trembling all over. “I-I don’t- I-I don’t know what you’re- I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“Don’t you fucking play dumb! You think you can make a fool of me?” A hand grabbed his shoulder like a vice. “You think I don’t know what’s going on? She wants to get rid of me! I had a feeling right from the start, and now here you are like clockwork, ready to take it away from me!”

“I-I don’t-“ He shook his head. “Please, man. Please. I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry, okay?”

“Oh, you’re going to be sorry, Dipper.”

“Please d-don’t kill me, please don’t- Please. Please, I-“

The front door. They both froze as it swung open hard, as a familiar voice shouted into the apartment:

“Dipper!”

Lucy Ann. Dipper heard the man curse under his breath. “Shit… okay, you gotta make her leave. Get up.”

“What-“

“Get. Up.”

The gun shoved itself against his ear, and Dipper struggled to his feet. Stars, his legs were shaking-

“Dipper! You in here?”

“Uh…” he felt the man push him forwards, and made his way to the door. “I-I’m here! Everything’s… everything’s fine!”

“Dipper?” He came face to face with her in the hallway. “Oh, thank the stars. What was that call, man? Scared me half to death!”

Dipper gave a loud laugh. “Hahahaha! Yeah, um, it was… nothing!”

“Nothing?”

“Y-yeah, I looked and… and found nothing!” He moved to block her as she looked into the room.

“What?”

“I said, I found nothing.” He looked her right in the eye. “I found nothing, okay? So let’s go.”

Lucy Ann opened her mouth, but then she seemed to take him in; the sweat on his face, the tension in his body, the way his head was leaning oddly forward. There was a flicker of something across her face, but it was quickly swallowed up with a convincing scowl.

“Oh,” she said, and then she gave him a punch in the shoulder. “Then screw you, man! You scared me half to death!”

“Ow, hey-!”

She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down to her level. “Don’t you ever do that to me again, okay? Or you’re going to be sorry!”

Then he was shoved into the living room, and he stumbled to keep his footing. He blinked several times, and opened his mouth- but Lucy Ann was already gone.

There was a shout from the bedroom, a hard thump, a yell of pain. Eyes widening, Dipper raced to the door just in time to hear a-

BANG!

The sound was painfully, deafeningly loud; he recoiled and covered his ringing ears, and almost immediately someone knocked him to the floor. Squeezing open his eyes, he saw a figure he’d never seen before, a tall, scruffy, bleeding man with the backpack on, yelling and pointing a pistol into the bedroom.

“…what you get!” He was bellowing, but it was hardly louder than the ringing. “That’s… you fucking get!”

Then he grabbed some car keys from the counter and ran for the door; Marsh came rushing in, only to shriek and duck away from the sight of his pistol.

Dipper struggled to get to his feet. He felt like the world had gone sideways, but someone grabbed his shoulder - Marsh grabbed his shoulder, and helped him up.

She was saying something, but he could only see her lips were moving. He shook his head, leaned over and caught himself on the doorway - no, no, he had to see, he had to get to… Lucy Ann!

For one horrible moment, he thought she was dead. She lay against the bed, cradling her eye; his heart dropped when he saw dark blood leaking from between her fingers… but he also saw she was cradling it, letting Marsh help her up, and shaking her head when she tried to pry her hand away. I’m okay, he could see her saying. I’m okay.

She was okay. He was okay. Everyone… was okay.

Dipper let himself bask in that for a moment, let the sheer relief wash over him, and bring him to his knees. He caught himself on his hands, and immediately felt something sharp. Lifting his palms - and resisting gentle arms trying to help him up - he saw blood on them, saw little shards of something slip off and fall back to the ground.

There was something on the floor, subtle shimmers and sparks that caught his eye. He managed to feel out a bigger piece, brought it closer to his face, and that was when he realised what it was - it looked like a shard of multicoloured glass. Broken etching wards sputtered on the surface, flickering it in and out of existence, and when he looked at the floor again, he could see the ripped-off chain of a necklace.

Oh, he thought, and the voice in his head sounded a million miles away.

An invisibility charm.

So that’s how he got out of the jewelry store. He figured it out.

How about that.

It wasn’t funny, but Dipper found himself laughing, laughing harder than he’d ever laughed in his life. He was sure he was screaming, but he couldn’t stop, couldn’t hear anything over that godawful incessant unending ringing.

How about that, huh? HOW ABOUT THAT!

How about that.

[nova-alien-rants]

trying to finally heal my NPD and dealing with the damage it's caused is so fucking devastating

uhh if you demonize narcs please get off my blog before i launch you into the sun uhh this post is kinda long

it just... it hurts so bad dude. and i feel like my BPD makes it even worse because every time i'm confronted with the reality that i've fucked up those around me so badly, i can end up spiraling into thinking i'm the worst person ever, i deserve to die, i ruin everything, there's no hope for me, etc. it's so awful. i genuinely hate how much i've hurt those in my life.

examples:

i've gaslit my gf to the point where she still feels like SHE'S the problem, even though it's literally been me all along. she kept trying to help me and i villainized her the whole time. i'm disgusted with how i acted. my eyes have been opened and i no longer act the way i did, but the damage has been done and i can't help but cry because of how much i've hurt her these past several years.

my friend became used to me making backhanded jabs and even passive aggressive remarks because i always felt threatened by him. i stopped being mean to him like that, but because he was used to that dynamic with me, he kept up with his own vindictiveness and made me feel terrible that i trained him to do that in the first place. he doesn't do it with anyone else.

i've lost many friends and gotten into baseless arguments simply because i was acting like a giant asshole under the delusion that THEY were the assholes, not me. even though they literally did not do anything. my own ego was wounded and that wasn't their fault. i was such a fool for destroying those relationships.

i feel so fucking despondent so much of the time now, and i keep flip flopping between "there's hope for me and i can help reduce the stigma of NPD" and "i am the worst person ever, i'm a horrible monster who just hurts people, there's no getting better for me." my emotions are so intense. either they're everywhere, or they're nowhere. i also feel so much grief. i could have had amazing relationships with amazing people around me, and to an extent i do now! but so much of the lives of myself and others have been absolutely ravaged by my own self obsession and vindictiveness, and i can't help but wonder what things would be like if i weren't the way i am. honestly i'm so ashamed of myself for letting things get to this point.

whenever i would do research on NPD, i would wonder like... why do people not know they have this condition? how could they possibly not know when it fucks up their lives so bad? i knew about my BPD and OCPD before i even knew what those conditions were called, and those are also ego-syntonic personality disorders! so i was REALLY thrown a curveball when i was told i'm a narc. it felt like my world shattered and i simultaneously could see clearer, but also felt so much shame and sadness. and other things, but i don't even know what in specific. bad things. it seriously changed how i viewed myself and everyone and everything in this world around me.

i remember i would always tell myself i would never end up like my parents, both of whom are narcissists. they were and still are the worst abusers out of all the abusers i've ever had in my life. so when i found out i was a narc, too, i felt disgusted not only because it explained so much of my life, but also because it meant my worst fear had come true. i associate narcissism with my parents. i'd be lying if i were to say i didn't have my own internalized ableism about NPD due to them. at the same time though, i get distressed from sharing physical features with them too, so it's hard to really say. it just sucks all around.

i feel like some kind of evil monster crying crocodile tears upon finally having it click that they actually are, indeed, some kind of evil monster. i've hurt so many people so badly and i was totally blind to it. COMPLETELY. to the point i genuinely believed THEY were the ones hurting ME. sometimes i'm so consumed with shame i literally never want to show my face to anyone ever again. i want to run away and start a new life where no one knows who i am or what my past was like. but alas, such is not feasible, so i am stuck dealing with the consequences of my actions. and accept them i will, of course, because it's the grave i dug for myself, but fuck, man. this feels so awful. i feel so awful.

[valarianflood]

OP Doesn’t Like Blood

“Ok left foot on… Green!” Raf said to the other humans on the plastic board and three autobots on painted dots.

There was laughing and giggles from all. Ratchet was annoyed as usual till bulkhead lost first and he chuckled. Optimus stood near his friend watching over the monitor.

“Eunf!”

“Miko? You ok?” Her guardian asked from the sidelines.

“Euughh…”

“Why are you laughing?” Arcee asked to her cackling partner.

“She-! Eheheheh she fell on her fa ha hace!”

“Oh shu’up.”

“Oh shit.”

“Uhh that’s bad right?” Bulkhead more asked because he didn’t know what to say knowing full well this was bad because of Jack’s reaction. 

The other bots untangled themselves to see what was going on. Ever curious and hearing the negative reactions Optimus and Ratchet looked over too.

Raf hopped off the balcony he sat on with the spinner. “I’ll get you a tissue.”

At the bots shocked faced Miko pulled her hands away from her face and waved calming motions saying, “Ahm fine, ahm fine. Dis is no’sin’.”

Optimus’ optics shuttered tight. Miko’s face was 𝓻𝓮𝓭. Humans could alter hair and skin to be different colours, he knew that was common, but Miko didn’t look like 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 before she exclaimed. This fluid ran down her face from both olfactory cavities over her intake and down her chin. Her hands were covered in it and some had dropped onto the floor forming small puddles.

“Opti-?”

“Optimus!”

A booming clang echoed through the base as Prime collapsed on the steel floor. Ratchet rushed over scanner in hand. Before he could spiral into panic the autobot leaders optics flickered on as he gave a light groan.

“Optimus? Are you alright?” Arcee asked holding out servos unsure how to assist.

“I- …what happened?”

“You went into abrupt involuntary stasis.”

Ratchet helped Prime to his peds as he clutched his helm crest, the fall rattling his processor and making him dizzy. He grounded himself in the colourful dots on the floor, reminding him of where and when he was. Looking up Miko had a hand over her face, some white cloth held to it.

She flung her arms out as she comically said, “everyone’s hitting the floor today!”

With all the attention on him, this time everyone saw Optimus’ optics widen, flicker, and roll back slightly, prompting Ratchet to tighter grip his friends arm and Bulkhead to jerk behind their leader and catch his upper back before he hit the ground again.

“Woah!” Miko quickly put the tissue back to her face to not make a bigger mess on the floor

“Ratchet what’s going on?” Arcee’s question came out like a statement.

Jack looked between the autobot and human a few times before a light bulb clicked in his head. “Blood…”

“What?” Ratchet looked up at Jack’s whispered murmur.

“It’s- he’s- the blood!”

Bee offered an inquiry that Raf helpfully answered just as he realized what Jack was trying to say. “Some people don’t do well around blood. It can make people quezy, freak out, or…” Optimus’ optics once again came online though his frame was slow to catch up. “Faint”.

Ratchet scoffed. “That’s absurd. Optimus has seen bots torn in two with no reaction.”

“…pardon?” Optimus heard his name but not much else was actually understood.

“Yeah but that was 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓰𝓸𝓷, this is 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓭. It’s- I don’t know it’s…” Jack was still a bit in shock and not quick with words.

“Its organic,” Ratchet said disgustedly.

“Exactly!”

Ratchet raised a brow plate, surprised at the boys agreement.

“It’s humans getting injured versus bots. I think we all know how he is about us getting hurt.”

Adding onto the elder boys statement, “plus ‘blood fainting’ is really common. Apperantly it even stems across species,” Raf added, smiling at the curious revelation.

“Miko, go clean yourself up.” Arcee pointed as she gave the bossy order.

“Old friend, what is happening to me?”

“Optimus have you ever seen blood before?” At his friends slightly puzzled look he added, more insistent, “live, human blood?”

Optimus searched the ground out of focus thinking. He’d seen humans in fights but… none had ever- those puddles…

Ratchet quickly turned his friend away when he say his gazing near where a Miko had stood. “Jack I believe you are correct. Pleas-”

The boy quickly dropped to wiping the rest of the blood off the floor.

[ask-robokasa-and-rui]

Chapter 4: Epilogue

And ever since then...I kept working and working...until she didn't need me anymore. She didn't set me free though. She kept me in a room because she knew I would tell someone. That was until Honarobo rescued me and we got out of that freakshow...

Oh...wait....but if you knew they we're killer robots...then why-

The blood was their own...

What-?!

They had human corpses inside them...I only thought they murdered Mafuyu and Ena but it seems they haven't stopped their plays...

T-then that means...Tsukasa...was a real person?

He is...or...was...but Robokasa is only based off of him. He was brought to life by code. Not a soul.

I see...are the other robots..?

Yes. Akito was one of our employees...Honami was our stage director. When Saki thinks you're no longer needed, you are needed for the robots. What's scummy is that our employees aren't known people. Not a lot of people know that they exist. So it's no crime for them to die and be replaced by robots.

I see...

What time is it, by the way?

It's uhh...six forty five! Why?

For safety...

Safety?

Mhm...and there!

Is he fixed?

Yep. Let me turn him on.

Kanade pushes the "on" button and Tsukasa slowly gets up.

Hm...Where?

Tsukasa! Oh thank goodness!!! Are you al-!! Right...?

When Rui looks at Tsukasa, he sees that one of his pupils is now a star symbol instead of a spiral

W-what's wrong with your pupil?

The star...that means..!

What? What does that mean?!

Rui? Are you alright?

I'm asking you that!!

I'm okay...no need to worry.

Hm...

I feel...weird though...

Weird?

Like...I feel...things...what's happening?

Kanade, do you know what's going on?

I think while fixing him, some of the old codes Saki made me write got into his system.

Is that a bad thing?

Yes and no. It's a no, because now Tsukasa will be able to feel emotions again. It's also a yes, because...

Because?

The real Tsukasa...may try and reach out to you...

The...real Tsukasa?

Real Tsukasa..? Am I fake...? Wait. Why am I saying that? Of course I'm fake! I'm a robot!

Woah! Tsukasa really changed. Is there a way to reverse this?

I can delete the codes if you want...

Please do that. I'm sorry but seeing him with emotions just feels wrong!

Alright...

WAIT NO!!!

Ah-?!

Ah...

I-I..I want to...

Tsukasa?

I want to...feel...emotions...I always...wanted to...feel them...!

I-Is he crying...?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

AAAAAH-!! Tsukasa!? He's crying out oil!!!

Hehe...Come on Tsukasa...it's alright...

Hic! I have emotion...! I'm so happy!! But-hic! Isn't crying a negative..?

It's natural.

Hic...Oh...

Okay Tsukasa...I suppose..how about this? If you ever feel uncomfortable about the emotions, tell us and we'll get that code out. Okay?

Sniff...mhm...

Now, we better get back home..WAIT!!! We don't have any cover for you!!!

Is that bad...?

Uhh yes!!

Darling!! Can you bring some clothes for Tsukasa? We need covers for him!!

Getting them!!!

After Minori gets Tsukasa covers. He wears a mask and turtle neck to hide his robotics parts. After Tsukasa wears them, Rui and Tsukasa say their goodbyes to Kanade and Honami before they leave with Minori.

Sigh! We got that problem fix!

So, Tsukasa. How does it feel to feel emotions?

Weird yet...comforting...but my emotions aren't like other people...

Everyone functions differently! That's what makes humans so great!

I see...

Don't worry! I'm sure you'll get used to it!

I hope so...

Maybe you'll work with us!

Oh yeah!! Tsukasa can be a maid! Ahaha!!

..hehe...ehehehe!

...! He...he laughed! He actually laughed! Hm...maybe this isn't so bad..but I shouldn't get sidetracked...Nene is missing. I have to find her...

Meanwhile...(A day later)

Bzzzt!! Ah!! Wha...where!? This place..I'm...I'm back here again?!

Nene was tied to a chair.

No no-!!

Don't try and struggle.

Huh!?

Mafuyu appears from the shadows.

Mafuyu...?!

Hello Nene-chan!!

Emu appears from tbe shadows.

Emu...

Now that you're here! I can finally start my plan!

What plan...what are you going to do to me?!

I'm not going to do anything to you! I'm not the type to kill~!

Yes you are. Don't think I'm dumb.

Hehehe...

Suddenly, Emu shuts off.

Huh-?

Emu?

Emu turns on

Ow...what the heck...Ah!? Nene-chan!? Why are you all tied up!?

What are you talking about?

Oh let me get you out of those!

Emu starts to untie Nene from the ropes. Nene was clearly confused and so was Mafuyu. Nene looks over to Mafuyu but her eye catches something else. A figure. A figure in Emu's shadow. It was a girl. A girl with short hair, looking back at Nene with wide, rage filled eyes. She looks at the clock. It's noon. What does that mean?

Chapter 4 Begins.

Tags: @aspenii @bobcross1010 @blankblyke @mizuribbons @mai-mai-mai @kusanagi-nene-official-mod @kiwi-does-stuff @scodscod @delartz @t4mar @saltghost

[ahiddenpath]

Life Talk

Discussing how I'm dealing with Things beneath the cut.

I doubt I'll be able to say anything about the US election results that you haven't seen a million times before. I wasn't sure if I should bother commenting. I'm not sure where I am in the processing stages, so... Forgive me if my tone is weird. I definitely feel weird.

First thing's first; I've anticipated this outcome since people started blaming Biden for inflation. That's a typical thing in American politics; whoever is in charge currently is blamed for everything, which often causes the presidency to swap from D to R and back, regardless of where problems began. Of course, if voters really were worried about the economy, well... The Trump tariffs are a laughably, horrifically bad solution. But... I don't think the average American voter understands tariffs. So like. Whelp. There's a very real reason why Rs want to gut public education. Well, there are several, but yeah, a less educated populace is easier to fleece.

Obviously there are a million other horrible things going on here; if I tried to get into them all, I would never finish this post. But I can't say I'm experiencing shock or betrayal. I knew many Americans hate women, POC, the queer community, and others more than they care about their own self interests. Although most, I think, are simply not educated enough to understand that their self interests are at risk, and many others were sucked into the far right cult stuff years ago. Rs always scream about the liberal media, but so much American media (and social media!) is owned by the right, or is at least paid off by them. I'm wondering, as education continues to fail, especially given the next administration, will Americans have any hope of thinking beyond whatever Facebook posts and news in the pocket of (or in fear of) the right tells them?

We're in a bad way, but this didn't happen on the day of the election. We've been living in this environment for years, now. Are things about to get worse? Yes, of course. I think it's an important time to remember who your friends and loved ones are, to lean on them and check in on them, to do stupid fun stuff with them. And I think it's time to step away from the doom scrolling and inventing horrible what-if scenarios. Obviously this is a scary time; I'm not trying to diminish that. But spiraling causes pain now, PLUS more pain later if the bad thing comes to pass.

I've seen some interesting posts with actionable ideas. Get a passport ASAP, look into moving (to blue states, out of climate change buffer areas, or internationally if you can, although obviously that is not easy nor readily available), think about if your industry will be impacted by tariffs and sweeping federal government layoffs, get sterilized if you know you don't want kids, get that medical appointment you've been pushing off. Actionable stuff is productive! Spiraling isn't. Although uhhh, that's easier said than done. I'm just trying to push myself in a better direction, here.

As for me, here are some fractured snippets of how I've been feeling:

-Mourning. Shit, I'm 35. Trump will be in office until I'm 39. My child bearing window is closing. Are we not having a family bc of orange oompah loompah and his country and world destroying policies?

-I'm aware that I will be buffered from some things, purely because of how I look, where I live, etc. And the fact that I'm married to a safe man who adores me affords some protection. I feel weird about it, but must acknowledge it, so I don't get uhh. Disconnected from people who are more vulnerable than me. I think that Democratic politicians who mean well, but don't experience what so many Democrat constituents go through/suffer with for various reasons, becoming so... Out of touch and unrelatable... Um, I think that played a role in getting us here. It's difficult for these politicians to organize or affect change when their life experience is... Just overall safer by default. And this applies to people who aren't politicians, too, just on a less official level.

Those of us who are comparatively safer for various reasons need to hear people who are less safe and acknowledge that some things impact us differently, and we need to prioritize what the most vulnerable need.

-On the day before the election, I started Googling how to become a witch and books on witchcraft. I did it with a wry grin, because I'm aware that magic/witchcraft/New Age stuff/tarot/crystals/mysticism/etc surge in popularity during times of political and economic strife. Meaning that they are SUPER FUCKING POPULAR right now, and have been for a while. You might know that I'm a Seeker (tarot practitioner), but I'm also a scientist. I'm... not the most spiritual person.

But, like, FUCK IT. Time to become a witch. Time to creep into the wild woods and make a hut and live with the bears. TIME TO CURSE SOME MF-ers!

I told my reasonable friend. Here is our conversation:

Hidden: So I'm googling witch books.

Friend: No. We don't turn to magic in the face of tragedy. We drink hot cocoa.

Hidden: FINE I GUESS (hrmph!!!!)

I told another friend the same:

Friend: How are you holding up?

Hidden: Googling how to become a witch. So... yeah.

Friend: How... how DO you become a witch?

Hidden: IDK, that's why I'm googling it.

Sigh. I might still buy that book on the history of witchcraft and paganism. What, it's history! xD

-Otherwise, I've been weirdly fortunate that work has been so demanding. I've been learning more about in silico analysis lately (using huge protein databases to predict how developable a new antibody based drug might be, which residues to change, and how immunogenic your antibody might be). I'm learning and doing so much that I come home exhausted, but like. Maybe that's the lack of sleep on Tuesday night talking.

-I've been leaning into the animal of myself these last few days. The soft, squishy, vulnerable meat of me. Sleep and work and food and relying on my partner bond with my husband. Listening to his heartbeat, feeling the low rumble of his voice when we cuddle, letting skin on skin release safe and happy hormones.

-I think I need to get off reddit and its eternal doom. Like, permanently. Tumblr and Insta are the only other social media I use, but Tumblr is all digimon and Insta is all cats and dolls. I'm hoping the political posts that aren't primarily actionable die down on Tumblr soon, so I don't need to spend less time here, but obviously people need to post what they are going to post. If I'm here less, this is likely why.

Most of all, do what you can to beat back despair. I don't really have comforting words, except that you're not alone. Other people DO think and feel the way you do now. Let's all try to be there for each other, distract one another, and maybe have some hugs and hot drinks. Or like... start a coven, idk.

You are loved. Ask for help if you need to, offer it if you can.

[solomonssock]

The Art of Reassurance and Reframing

My "agenda"? My "aim", you ask? Well, Asmodeus. It's always Asmodeus.

Pairing: gn!reader x Asmodeus (every brother’s closeness with you is expressed, but it’s princess Mo’s golden hour <3; no established relationship, yet, but confessions take place)

TW: some theatrics, slight suggestive content, some clinginess, toe shoe slander, snippet of Asmodeus baby talk (I cry from laughter when he does this to Belphegor in game), some possessiveness and jealously, some hurt/comfort, mentions of violence, brief use of pact, uhh I think that’s it! If anything is missing, let me know. Ty!

Word count: ~4,800

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It was nice meeting you. I had a really good time! Be safe heading home :-)

You send the text before setting your phone onto the counter, careful to avoid the small puddle forming as water droplets drip down your jacket sleeve. As much fun as your date had been tonight, the downpour had cut your plans short. You're home much earlier than you anticipated and admittedly, a little bummed out. You had been pretty excited to scope out the pastry shop they swore was one of, if not the best, in your area.

It's too bad, you think, as you shrug off your jacket.

You hang it onto the back of a nearby chair to dry, pointedly ignoring any mess that might be accumulating on the floor in favor of changing into drier clothes.

You grab your phone before heading into your room. As you plug it in to charge, a notification pops up that causes you to smile and shake your head softly.

Home safe! Thanks for coming out with me, I really had a good time. And if it's not weird or anything, I would like to hang out again! We can go to the cafe I mentioned, and maybe you can show me a place you like?

Ah! Sorry to text you if you never planned on seeing me again, that's totally fine! You were just...a lot cooler than I expected

Your friend gave you a head's up about your date's social anxiety, but that didn't trouble you at all. In fact, they were quite charming once they stepped out of their shell. Never had you met someone so devoted to the art of restoring furniture that they upholstered nearly every piece in their home. Even going so far as to woodwork new legs for the pieces they had collected when dumpster diving. It was cute how passionate they got about their interests, and how intently they had listened to yours. You haven't had a conversation like that in some time, not since...

You snort to yourself, lips curling upwards as Leviathan comes to mind.

Sounds like a plan, I'm already thinking of a place or two I'd love to show you. I'll let you know when I'm free next week!

You send the text back in record time, not giving them a chance to spiral into a bout of overthinking. You'd mastered the art of reassurance and reframing during your time in the Devildom.

Your eyes flicker over to the clock and you sigh through your nose. You still have about another two hours before one of the brothers will check in with you. You suppose while you wait in the meantime, you could watch a movie or mess around with the games still downloaded on your D.D.D.

You walk over to your dresser, pulling out a pair of pajamas to change into. Once you're finished, you throw your damp clothes into the hamper and move to open your sock drawer. Although it serves little use here, your D.D.D. can still send and receive calls and texts. This little blessing, however, soon became a point of contention during your first week back.

You rub at your temples as you recall how your D.D.D. began to ring at odd hours with creative excuses as to why it was absolutely necessary for you to pick up the phone at four in the morning.

"Wait, wait, don't hang up! C'mon human, you're my lucky charm. Ya gotta tell me what I should call, red or black? I got 10,000 grimm riding on roulette, but no pressure! Go with yer gut."

"What?! No! You can't go yet! I haven't even told you about what happened to Mammon when Solomon and I caught him trying to pawn off one of his tools! Oh, won't you stay on a bit longer with me? You don't have Devilgram out there, so how else am I supposed to keep you updated on all things Mo?"

"H-hey, you can't go to sleep now! I've been trying to plan out my panel attendance order for the convention, but no one gets how important the sequence is like you do! S-speaking of events I need your opinion because there’s a TSL group meeting on Saturday, but the Dreaddit House of Sorrow Fanclub Meetup is scheduled at the same time. So now I don’t know if -"

"I was eating a burger and thought of you...are you making sure to eat over there? Ah, good I'm glad. Oh, that sound? No, it's just my stomach. I got hungry thinking of the human realm food you've been sending pictures of. Could you send a recipe or two? Satan promised to recreate some if I stay away from the cat food he hides in his room. Yeah, I tried it. Hmm, it was actually pretty tasty."

"If you fall asleep on me now, I'll just have to visit you in your dreams. Who cares if I'm yawning? I'm always yawning. I want to talk to you, so tell me about your day. A botanical garden at night? Was it as nice as ours? Just different...hm, I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I got to see it with you. Human world fireflies don't suck up light, right? Then what do they eat?"

"Don't worry, I took care of Mammon; he won't be calling you anymore tonight. Oh, I didn't harm him, we just had a talk. No, no, I'm not upset anymore. Speaking with you calms me down. Are you enjoying the book I sent you? I'm relieved to hear it. What do I think? Well...I find myself thinking of the lead often. They sit by the ocean every day, at the same time, waiting for their lover to return. After 5 years, it seems illogical to believe they'll just appear one day. Yet, I think I've come to understand that sort of irrational thinking. Ah, what am I doing? I'm just as bad as Mammon. You're tired; I'll take my leave."

"I've handled the matter, so please get some rest. How did they take it? Hmph, surprisingly well when they realized how they've exhausted your patience. I sound tired? Your patience is not the only one which has been exhausted this week. Yes, things have been going well. Diavolo remarked earlier this evening that the Devildom has dimmed in your absence; I am inclined to agree with him."

To preserve peace within Lamentation and give you breathing room, Lucifer forbade his brothers from contacting you at unreasonable hours or at unreasonable rates. With your input, he established a strict calling schedule: three nights a week set aside for a private call with one of the seven brothers.

But not a day has gone by without someone messaging you. Even Solomon continues to contact you through your D.D.D. despite having your human world number.

He had caught you by surprise earlier, calling you while you and your date were halfway through dinner. Although the timing wasn't ideal, you should have expected it. You haven't checked your D.D.D. all day and someone was bound to over speculate the reason why.

You pull the device out from under the socks you've tucked it between for safe keeping and raise a brow in concern as the screen turns on.

A stack of messages from the group chats is nothing out of the ordinary. But 16 texts from Asmodeus alone is a bit excessive.

Heeey!!

C'mon cutie, don't ignore me

Ugh, you don't have your D.D.D. on you, do you?

I can't stand it! Answer me as soon as you get back!

I hate that you're so far!! I'm so worked up that I walked all the way up to your bedroom door before I remembered you're not here...

I was so gonna scold you!

You know more than anyone I hate being neglected like this, especially by you <3

It's no fair! If you don't answer me, I'm gonna barge into the castle and demand they let me go check on you.

Ok, I'm totally bluffing. There's no way Lucifer would let me reach the castle to ask Diavolo anyway!

But, it's my job to protect you...

I mean a little punishment wouldn't be too bad, right? It sounds kind of exciting!

Aren't you honored a beauty like me would risk it all for you?

We finished dinner and now I'm tucked into bed, but I'm freezing under the covers without you beside me to keep me warm.

What am I supposed to do, MC? My most precious person won't acknowledge me, I'm heartbroken...

You have to take responsibility for this!

I miss your voice.

You roll your eyes at his theatrics but can't stop the smile that tugs at your lips. Asmodeus could be frustrating at times, but you miss him.

You chuckle as you recall countless memories of him barging into your room, insistent on spending his allotted quality time with you. How if you couldn't indulge him right away, he'd lounge on your bed, scrolling through his D.D.D. until you were done studying.

He could be even worse than Mammon when the mood struck, but you can't deny the pride that puffs up in your chest as you acknowledge how content he is just to be in your company. It feeds your insatiable heart, gluttonous for the selfish satisfaction that thrums in your veins whenever you hold his attention.

You feel it coursing through you now as you reminisce about late-night cuddles shared beneath his room's rosy canopy, face mask slipping off as you laugh uncontrollably at his nightly facial exercise routine. You reminisce about the way he'd cling to you as you walked to and from school and how he would hang off your arm, fingers pressed against plush lips, when he couldn't hold back his laughter.

If you picture it for long enough, you can still feel the phantom touch of his hugs. Lithe arms embracing you, pressing your body against his as his head comes to rest into the crook of your shoulder...

You sigh, dragging a hand down your face.

Ok. You really miss him.

Warmth blossoms in your chest as your eyes scan over the texts again. Even realms apart, he still makes you feel adored.

I'm not ignoring you, Mo. I was just busy today. Are you doing alright?

No sooner than you send the text, a call comes in. You click to accept it before holding the receiver up to your ear.

"Hey Mo, wha-"

"You love me, don't you?!"

You pause for a moment, trying not to laugh as his petulant tone crackles through.

"Course I do."

"Then, where were you all day? No one could get a hold of you, and you wouldn't answer anyone's texts. I mean I get it when it comes to the others, but to not answer my texts! How could you?" You can hear him shuffling around, a slight splash of water following the movement.

"Asmodeus, are you taking this call from your bath?" You feel his sigh roll through the receiver, puffing up against your skin.

"Don't try to change the subject. You're the reason I'm in here, you know? Stress damages the skin! I had to calm down somehow." Continuous splashing only accentuates the image of him building in your mind, frantically gesturing at you before crossing his arms with a pout.

"I'm sorry I got you all worked up. How can I make it up to the lovely princess Mo?" You bite your lip as his infectious giggle tinkles in your ear.

"Well," his tone turns coquettish, "you could start by telling me what you're wearing?"  The question drags an exaggerated groan out of you, but it's all in good humor.

"Are you aware of how insufferable you can be?"

"Yes," he gloats, "but that's when you admire me most!" A stupid grin plasters itself to your face, one you picture him to be wearing too.

He's right.

Over the time you've spent with him, you've come to find his forwardness more silly and endearing if anything. He's made it too easy for you to be carefree around him, and if he asked it of you, you'd bare to him the darkness locked within your heart without batting an eye.

"I'm in pajamas." You offer him a bite.

"Aw, cute! I'm wearing nothing." He takes it and swallows it whole.

"Yes, I think we've already established that." You snicker at the huff he lets out.

"It would be way more interesting if you had worn something into the bath with you." You laugh into the transmitter.

"Like that one time you came back from partying with succubi after finals! You were so drunk I thought you were going to strut straight into the shower with your pretty high heels on." A slight squeal has you pulling the receiver away slightly.

"Aaah, so you do remember the red bottoms! Oh, oh! Darling, can I confess something about that night?" The water sloshes back and forth in the background with his excitement.

"Mhm, what is it?" You hum.

"I actually changed into those before I came home. The pair I left with got stomped on at the club and looked so gross!" He lets out an exasperated sigh.

"It's a pity that some demons have no rhythm, but it's unforgivable that they have no shame ruining the dance floor for everybody. I mean, so many people came out to celebrate me and I had to greet them like that! Can you believe it?!"

Some more sloshing spills through the receiver, but it sounds more like he's wading through the water than disturbing it.

"What an embarrassment! There wasn't a hope in hell I'd let you see me like that." You hear him shudder.

"So, I stopped at a late night boutique and when I saw the red bottoms I just knew I had to buy them. After all, you're the one who said they would look gorgeous on me!" He pauses for a moment, a loud splash sounding, before he speaks again.

"I've only ever worn them that night," the lilt of his voice makes warmth rush to your cheeks.

"Just. For. You," he teases. "Did I look good?"

"You looked like you always do, " you mumble. But he catches on quick.

You've caught him alone in his room once, and only once, with tears prickling his glassy eyes, shaken and unsure of himself. You didn't know where you stood with the demon you had only recently formed a pact with at the time, but you pushed down your apprehension, refusing to leave his side unless he pushed you away.

But, he never did.

So, you stayed. Bracingly conveying to him all the ways you found him to be breathtaking inside and out. You can recall the alarming rate at which your heart palpitated as he curled up into you under the covers, his tears dampening the shirt beneath your RAD uniform as he sobbed into your chest. It was daunting to toe the line of a confession you weren't ready to deliver, especially to a demon just beginning to respect you. But your desire to soothe his self-doubt had won out.

You regret nothing. You two have been inseparable since.

"Then what a sight I must have been." He sighs, dreamily, tearing you away from your thoughts. "Lucky you!”

A wicked little idea comes to mind.

"I have something to confess too." You suppose you'll play along some since he wants to be such a tease tonight. Tired of standing in front of your dresser, you go lay down on your bed.

"And that would be?" You hear a door open and shut, confirming that bath time is indeed over.

You fake a deep sigh. He seems to be ruffling through something that you suspect to be his wardrobe.

"Today, I tried on something new. Agh, it's a bit embarrassing, Mo. I've...never felt this bold." The sound stops for just a moment.

"Oh." What sounds like hangers clatter in the background.

"There's no need to be shy! You know you don't have to hide anything from me. No matter how depraved you might seem to others, everything, well - you - will always be endearing to me."

You almost feel bad for starting this anticlimactic buildup...almost.

"You swear you won't think differently of me?" Immediately, he lets out a cry of indignation.

"Oh, never! If anything, I'll only fall for you more."

"Ok..," you pause for dramatic effect, "Today...I wore toe shoes. It took some time to get used to each toe pocket, but my feet have never felt so free!"

"Very funny, dear," Asmodeus mocks. "But seriously don't even joke about those things, just ew! Your feet deserve so much better, you shouldn't disrespect them like that. What would you even wear with those abominations?!"

He cuts you off before you can reply with something stupid.

"Don't you dare say cargo shorts and a t-shirt! I forbid you from ever wearing such a fashion disaster!" Yeah, there's no stopping the laughter that peels out of you.

"Forbid me?! They can't be that bad." Again, he sighs.

"Darling. If you truly love me, promise you won't wear something so treacherous." You finally begin to calm down, taking in shallow breaths.

"I promise, cross my heart!"

"Good."

You hear what you think is the phone being plopped onto the bed before there’s more shuffling, albeit further away this time. It lasts more than a moment or two, so you figure he's changing. Surprising, since he sleeps in the nude whenever you're not with him.

"I can't say I'm not disappointed. Here I was thinking I would get to hear about you trying on something more," he hums a coy little tune, "fun."

"You know I'd adore you in anything that makes you feel confident," he purrs. "But something cute and risqué like that should only be seen by me."

You can't place it, but something about his tone doesn't sit right with you. Shifting up on your bed, you recline back onto the pillows holding you up against the headboard.

"And who else would have seen it?" You scoff.

"Hmm, I wonder. Oh, what about that human you went on a date with today?" Your mouth parts in shock.

Oh, indeed. You feel your heart drop as his tone twists into something sour.

"How did you...?" It hits you, your call with Solomon. You sigh, for real this time, running a hand up and down your thigh as you try to process how to best explain this to the impassioned demon.

"How much did Solomon tell you?"

"Enough." You can hear the slight waver in his voice.

"Is that why you sent me all those texts today?" He's silent, but you hear a slight sniffle.

"Have you mentioned this to the others?" Your chest freezes at the thought. You don't want this to get out of hand. The last thing you need is a livid horde of demons, or worse, crows, appearing at your doorstep.

"No." You breathe a sigh of relief. Ok, you can fix this.

"Not yet. Can you imagine how it's going to break their hearts?" He laments.

"Leviathan nearly summoned Lotan on me this afternoon when I asked him to switch days with me this week. He'll set him on that human the minute he finds out, you know?"

A snarl rips through the speaker, sending sparks down your spine. You try to say anything to calm him down so you can explain, but you can't get a word in.

"It's not like me to get so angry, but I can't stand the thought of some filthy human putting their hands on you and dirtying your beautiful skin. Hah, I could just-" Your heart speeds up when you hear what sounds like the rapid flapping of wings.

"You belong with us." He hisses. "We never should have let you go back there! Ugh, I won't let anyone take you away from me!" Petulance dips down into a deep, dark growl. A low rumble drones in your skull and buzzes beneath your skin; the work of Asmodeus's infernal curses that no human ear can decipher.

"You are the only being in all three realms I love more than myself." It's not the first time he's said this, but this time it feels different.

"I won't share you with some stranger who has the gall to approach you! You're mine." You feel your brows jump up as the word leaves him with a snarl. You've never heard Asmodeus so wound up.

"I'm...yours?" The words tumble out before you can stop them.

"Yes, my precious little human," he croons at you and your heart leaps in your chest from an emotion you can't place just yet. Somewhere between hope and concern, you think.

"And I'm yours." Your mindless repeat seems to abate some of his hostility. As his admission sinks in, your skin begins to flush everywhere.

"Mo-"

"Mm, maybe I should request to go to the human realm after all so I can bring you home," his cold clipped tone makes your body shudder from the conflicting sensations he plucks from you, unable to keep up with his favor and fury.

"I don't blame you, dear. Of course someone would come to adore you during your time there. Who wouldn't? You even managed to woo me!" The flapping doesn't stop, but it slows down considerably.

He sucks in a shaky breath before he robs you of yours.

"What do they offer you that I haven't, that I can't?" He spits the question out, voice warbling.

"You told me that I was enough for you as I am. Did that mean nothing?"  You need to stop this before it escalates further.

"Asmodeus, listen to me. I need you to calm down."

Even through the phone, your authority carries over and activates your pact. You place a hand on your chest, taking deep breaths yourself as Asmodeus's panicked breaths finally mellow out. He'd only ever sounded that shaken up that one night, long ago.

"Yes, I did go on a date with a human today." Another frustrated snarl rips through the speaker, but you push forward despite how your body screams at you to flee.

"But, I have no romantic feelings towards this person. I went on a blind date with a friend's coworker. They've only been on one or two dates before and were nervous to re-enter the dating scene - that's it. We are only acquaintances, maybe we'll become friends, but I promise you that's it."

You can't help but fiddle with your pajama shirt as he stays silent, your head racing with the revelation that the flirtatious demon's teasings have meant more than you let yourself believe.

It excites you, makes your heart thud against your ribcage, and your chest feels as light as a feather. But, it also terrifies you. The weight of the words wears you down, tipping you over the line you've toed for so long, completely unprepared for the fall.

He can try to suppress them, but Asmodeus's muffled sniffles resonate through the receiver and claw at your heart.

"You're someone, I mean you, I love you more than anyone in the three realms, worlds, too." You start, cursing at how you fumble your words.

You grip your shirt tighter as his breath hitches.

"I meant everything I said then, that night, and now - I mean I still mean it now. You were right, I admire you, adore you, even. My life here in the human realm, world, whatever, it's fine. But even with the sun shining on everything, it feels dimmer here than it was when I was in the Devildom with you."

You're starting to put all the pieces together as the words fall out of your mouth.

"I hate that I made you feel this way. I didn't mention it because I didn't think it was important, that it was something that would matter to you. Demons are vying for your attention all the time; humans aren't for mine."

"Those demons don't matter." He finally speaks, voice soft. "The only being whose attention I want is yours. My heart can't take the thought of someone taking your eyes off me. I need you to see me."

You take a deep breath.

"I do see you, Mo. You have always been enough, and I'm sorry that my actions caused you to think differently. I've missed your voice too, you know?" You feel pressure building up behind your eyes as tears start to form. He really wants you. You want him to know you've wanted him too.

"I-," your voice cracks some.

"I think about you guys all the time. I think about you all the time. Whenever I have a cupcake at a party, I wish I could share it with you. Whenever I go shopping, I think of what you might like best. When I watch movies, I wish that you could be there on the couch sitting next to me. When I crawl into bed, I wish I could curl up with you. I just wish that I was with you. Even right now, I wish I could hug you and tell you this face-to-face." You wipe at your eyes, unable to hold back the pure love you have for this utterly ridiculous demon.

"I-I love you too, Mo. Seriously, I see you." The feelings hidden behind sweet little jabs or subtle teases aren't enough for you two anymore.

"Why can't you be here right now?! It's not fair!" Asmodeus whines into the phone.

"Solomon said you sounded like you were having such a good time. I love hearing you're happy, but it hurts when you're not happy because of me."

You sniffle, chuckling into the phone.

"Silly, I'm always happy cause of you. Even right now, I mean yeah I'm crying, but I'm really happy."

"Oh, that's it! I really need to come see you as soon as possible. I'll beg Lucifer if I have to! I can't let all those tears dry out your skin. Make sure you drink water - I'll be furious with you if you let yourself wake up with a headache tomorrow."

"Can you show me how you do that face thing again, when you come?" Tension begins to fade from your tired muscles. Finally, things feel fine again.

"You shouldn't underestimate the wonders of facial reflexology and its endless benefits! Wait - are you seriously laughing? You stop that! Ugh, oh I'll show you when I get there alright!"

Actually, things are way better than fine.

You glance over to the clock as you feel your eyelids begin to droop and wonder how three hours passed by so fast.

You’re still on the call with Asmodeus, catching up on what’s happened in the house and what the rest of his plans are for this week. Planning his trip to the human world has now moved to the top of his agenda.

"Hm, darling? Are you alright? You're too quiet."

"Yeah, Mo. Jus'shleepy." You can feel yourself fading out, head drooping back onto the headboard.

"I guess it's time to say goodnight."

Tired as you are, you can't fight the blush that rises as Asmodeus begins to make obnoxious kissy noises into the phone.

"Aah, I mwiss you so much my pwetty wittle huwman. So sweepy."

"Asmodeus, please. Anything but the baby talk!" You groan in embarrassment.

"Sorry, darling, I couldn't help myself. You sound so precious. Mwah, I love you and I promise you'll see me soon."

"Yes, see you soon. G'night, love you." You end the call, getting up to go put your D.D.D. to charge. A notification startles you as you drift along in your sleepy stupor.

You crack a small smile as you click on it, opening your chat with Asmodeus. He's sent you links about facial reflexology and the importance of doing skin tightening exercises.

Brush up on it, beautiful. You will have a set routine by the time I'm done with you!

[dexter-erotoph]

hey i have no idea how dex works n you seem to be a huge enthusiast of their character so can u like.. yap about dexters personality a bit (/nf!!). im trying to work out their personality but im really confused on how to characterize them. so far, ive got some little bullet points. for a little headcanon or whatever ? i think they'd have huge interests that would be seen as a little odd, like, taxidermy or something. theyre like, a freak. (/pos)

also, i think itd have to do more research on with aspd since dex does have thatttt. uuuhm. oh yeah, a good note is that theyre not like. "Evil!! grah!! i kill people because im EVIL" cuz thats not them. they struggle with their emotions, morals, and needs. which i think also goes into the possibility of really bad intrusive thoughts perhaps.

like. they seem to have some of their morality intact (as they dont attack skid n pump immediately) before slowly spiraling and trying to hurt anyone they come across. dex also focuses on animals specifically because they dont believe that they dont feel emotion. they try to justify their behavior through beliefs and desperation to satisfy their persistent thoughts. they also run off the thrill of others pain. and i dont think theyre exactlyyy.. oblivious to the fact that this is a really bad problem, but more that they use being an exterminator to filter their needs into a.. "safer" (and in all honesty, an easier) way.

sorry for the whole ramble, but thats really all i can get so far with their character. also so sorry if this question is weird, but id just like a little input or ur idea of their character lol. no pressure tho ^_^

dont apologise i LOVE talking about dexter it Is really tricky to completely understand him kinda because of how all over the place all the things we have about him are . i was actually thinking earlier about how if sm got like adapted to a show like what happened with dhmis/ maybe we could see more of dexter and understand him better . i think ive talked about this before but i absolutely think theres kind of a thing where people see dexter as WAY more outwardly chaotic than he really is just bc well that’s like 95% of his screentime . how i really think he is is he Can get really easily excited and restless and with a lot of people it’ll drive them away (one of the characters i like to think has this dynamic with him is radford i dont know why i like the thought so much but i do) but he really is just like. hes a sweetheart he loves to draw and make stuff and hes just very smiley and laughs a lot . he isnt afraid to put himself out but he can also get like grumpy and snappy when hes paranoid Thats another thing. ive noticed in pelo’s doodles that sometimes hes portrayed complaining or just like with an irritated expression . i think while he Is a very happy go lucky type character it’s not difficult at all for him to get like . hostile for lack of better word? just annoyed at other people for something that could be really little or unintentional. i have no real point to this this probably will not help you much at all i apologise but the thing is i kinda think there’s No wrong way you can go with dexter in any way. he is such a good character that every aspect of him never feels tired or boring or really wrong to me

But uhh tldr kinda . maybe try to like nail it in that he’s just trying his best. for me thats a really big part of his character just the fact that despite everything that could potentially hold him back he always keeps his head up and just tries to do whatever he can and thats what the focus of his character would be if he wasn’t in a story that had his role revolve around his death. i hope this helps in Some way thank u very much for asking

[nuttytani]

Farewell, My Dear Boomer Lord

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Pairing: Tartaglia | Childe x Zhongli and Xiao x Aether

Premise: Genshin Impact is back with a new addition to their movie franchise, with a talented and an exciting cast. What are you waiting for? Come find out who they are!

A/N: This is a social media au fic, except in text form… Just crossposting it from my ao3 (which you can read it here if you’d like!!) and this is the final chapter :DD

prev chapter

Ch 2 interview and behind the scenes

Spiral Abyss ✓ .  @ abyssalmoon

Farewell Archaic Lord : Zhongli, Aether, Xiao and Ajax talk 

1.9 M views 

Watch now 

—

( The screen brightens up, Xiao, Ajax, Aether and Zhongli can be seen sitting on black studio chairs. They wave at the camera )

Aether

So, how shall we begin ?

Charlotte

Hello hello! Hmm, now that I’m facing all of you, I have no idea what to ask- (looks at the camera sheepishly) 

Ajax (gets ready to leave)

Alright, that’s the end of the interview! Thank you everyone for watching– 

Zhongli (interrupts him by placing a hand on his shoulder and chuckles)

Not so fast, I’m afraid. 

Charlotte 

Very funny, Ajax. We’re not letting you go until all the tea is spilled! 

Hmmm.. Oh right! This reminds me, where is the Liyue trio? I had thought Ms. Ganyu and the others would be attending?

(Charlotte looks somewhere off camera, as if to confirm something. Some rustling and muffled noises of people talking can be heard)

Xiao

Ah yes, unfortunately they got caught up in some other work and couldn’t make it. It was last minute and they couldn’t inform you in time.

Zhongli 

Mmh, that is correct. 

Charlotte 

Awe,how unfortunate! We were quite excited to meet up with the bona fide Liyue Qixing. Next time, I suppose!

Okay, let’s start off now. Who among you guys messed up your dialogues the most? 

(Camera zooms in at Aether’s face, who looks quite embarrassed as everyone stares pointedly at him)

Aether

It was me, ‘m sorry. Are spoilers allowed? 

Xiao 

Obviously, go on. 

Aether 

Ahem so- I might have gotten super annoyed by the side quests that the uhh… Traveler received from Mr. Morax. Such stupid side quests! I felt annoyed on behalf of Traveler, I mean– going all the way to Mondstadt to BOIL A FREAKING STONE? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?? And then walking all the way back to Liyue. Also, don’t forget about spending absurd amounts of money on FLOWERS– FLOWERS I TELL YOU!

(Aether does the jazz hands to express his frustration. Meanwhile, Zhongli observes bemusedly) 

So I may have said some things extremely off the script and we had to redo scenes. Multiple times. I’m so sorry guys! Blame Morax, he’s the problem. 

Ajax 

Yeah! We basically played “take a shot every time Aether says OH FUCK YOU”. I think it’s best to say we all got drunk, really really bad.

Xiao 

Hmph. You just can't hold your liquor. I was sober, thank you very much. 

Zhongli 

Oh? Really now? Ajax, where did that recording of him singing “My heart will go on” go? He did the entire Titanic ship pose and all.

(The camera zooms in again, now at a very red Xiao, who looks like he’s about to burst. To make it worse, Aether and Ajax are wheezing, trying to hold their laughs in but failing miserably)

Charlotte 

Is that so? I’d love to see that.

Xiao (looks at Zhongli in horror)

NO.

Zhongli 

Aha, so you do remember!

Charlotte 

Sounds like you all had a fun time during the shooting. Any interesting moments that you’d like to share?

Xiao

Oh yes definitely, I’m sure you all remember seeing a clip in which Morax stares at Tartaglia’s butt.

For those wondering, no, it was not part of the script. It was just Zhongli. All him, I swear. 

(Ajax visibly chokes on air and hides his face at Xiao’s comment, grumbling indistinctly) 

Zhongli (clears his throat)

Well I– it wasn’t on purpose… I was… Lost in… thoughts. Yes.

Aether 

Lost in a daydream, you mean to say. 

Charlotte (cackles and almost falls off of her chair)

Interesting! Well, let’s change the subject otherwise a few people might die from embarrassment here. Not that they haven't already. 

We can all agree that the scenes in the movie were absolutely epic! Such a beautiful landscape. And the sunset skies! Was it all CGI or did you all actually go to those gorgeous places? 

Ajax 

It was mostly real, a few things were CGI but honestly you could say 85% of it was the real deal. Acting in these areas was super difficult though. I mean, you can’t really control weather and most of the time, since we did a lot of shooting around mountain areas, it was WINDY and all the hair would keep going in my mouth, the hanfu wouldn’t stay in place… A nightmare honestly. 

Aether 

It wasn’t that bad though. 

Ajax 

Yes, it was that bad and you can’t change my mind! 

Charlotte 

Well Mr. Ajax, despite all your struggles, I must say your acting was superb. You had me gripping the edge of my seat! How thrilling! It’s hard to believe such a bubbly personality such as yours could act as a villain. I’ve heard that the directors saw you and called it.

Ajax 

Oh yeah. Umm, I’m surprised as well! This is my first acting experience honestly and sure, I’ve done concerts with Rosaline and Kabuki, but acting? Way above my paygrade. But they were super adamant I must audition for the role of Tartaglia. Next thing I know, I said a few lines and they picked me. 

Aether 

He was absolutely nuts, I swear. Super in character! Directors made the right choice, he looks and feels like THE living breathing Tartaglia. That one scene where he pulls out his water blades and does the cheeky toothy smile? That was all impromptu, off script. Ajax did all that and he didn't even realise it. 

Charlotte

Impressive! Also back to the hanfu and hair. Oh my god, you all looked stunning! The costumes were gorgeous and the hair! Looked so real.

Zhongli 

Mmhm, the costumes were all designed and made by Menogias. It’s always a pleasure to wear his hanfus, they really take your breath away. 

Xiao 

Yes, and it’s always a pleasant experience too. Which is rare, for such heavily embellished attire. You’d think they’d be heavy and itchy to wear but for some reason, Menogias makes only the best. It feels like you’re wearing pajamas. They're that comfortable. 

Aether

Agreed! Oh and by the way, we actually needed to grow our hair out for this movie. I mean, mainly me, Xiao and Ajax. Since Zhongli does a lot of historical movies and dramas, his hair is almost always long. I’m sure you must have noticed. 

Ajax (nods along) 

Yeah, it was all our hair. We had extensions in a few scenes but it was mostly just… us. Honestly, I didn't think I’d like long hair, since it seems to be quite a hassle to take care of, but I kinda enjoyed it. 

Xiao 

Mmhm. It wasn’t bad. Plus, the kids had fun braiding it. Mostly Qiqi, she’d see us and immediately give us those sparkly puppy dog eyes. She’d have fun braiding and we’d get a free hairstyle so, win win. 

Charlotte 

I can totally imagine the kids having fun, this is giving that tangled scene vibes right now. 

(Someone off camera comes and whispers into Charlotte’s ear and she looks surprised)

Oh dear! Time sure flies when in good company! I didn’t even notice that we’re almost about to go over your schedule. 

Zhongli 

Oh don’t worry about it, we can spare a few more minutes. This has been quite enjoyable. 

Charlotte 

Alright, let’s go through a few more questions then! I’ll go rapid fire speed, alright?

(Everyone says “yes ma'am!”) 

Any scenes that made you feel like you were in actual danger?

Aether 

Oh yeah, that one scene where I had to do the free fall and Xiao caught me. My heart almost jumped out of my chest!!

(The others nod) 

Xiao 

That scene was a bit scary. We had those rope contraption things holding us up, no idea what they’re called. Still, it felt awful. 

Charlotte 

Mhmm, the fans call it the moment “conqueror of demons falls in love with the traveler”. You were both gazing at each other quite intensely. 

Aether 

Trust me, it was the fear of falling. Nothing deep. 

(“Whatever you say bro,” Ajax adds sneakily)

Charlotte 

Any personal favourite scenes?

Zhongli 

Hmm if I had to choose, it’d definitely be the Osial part. From its release and battle, it was all incredible. 

Aether 

Definitely the Osial scene, but also the scene where Morax just sits… while drinking his oolong tea IN THE MIDDLE OF A TSUNAMI.

OH MY GOD. That was insane. Like dude– run for your life– then you remember he’s immortal. And also a bit wrong in the head. Rex Lapis apparently does not know how to behave like a human, even after living for thousands of years.

Ajax 

Oh preach. It was funny as hell. Zhongli came back looking like a wet rat too. 

Xiao 

We all looked like wet rats. Keqing took a picture of it too, she must have posted it somewhere. 

Charlotte

Well now I’m curious! Gotta look into Keqing’s skygram for that, huh? And thank you all for your precious time. I really enjoyed talking with you, it was lovely! 

Aether (grins at Charlotte)

Awee, thanks for having us!

Ajax (waves at the camera)

Let’s hope we meet again for another interview!

Zhongli 

Soon. Hopefully. Thank you, and have a good day everyone. 

Xiao

Mmh, bye. 

(screen fades out for a few seconds as the cast wave at the camera smiling, before you can hear someone talk in the background)

Xiao

Ajax, you better delete that singing video, otherwise you’re dead meat–

Bonus behind the scenes (leaked by yours truly, Keqing <3)

—

[ Attached : a picture of Zhongli, Aether, Ninnguang, Ajax, and Ganyu looking like soaked and pitiful wet rats as they throw up a peace sign at the camera. All looking beyond exhausted ]

Caption : How come I wasn’t invited for that anime beach scene? I feel sad and left out — Keqing:3

—

Aether and Zhongli

“Ah it seems I do not have mora.. Traveler would you be kind enough to–”

“Fuck off, get your fatuus wallet to get you mora.”

“That wasn't part of the script.”

“CUT! AETHER PLEASE, THIS IS THE 4TH TIME IN A ROW.”

“Sorry….”

—

Ajax and Zhongli

“I can't believe I was betrayed by someone whom I thought of as a friend. Was everything just a lie?”

“Hmm.”

“Xiansheng?”

“Hmmm.”

“Hello?? Earth to Zhongli??? Did you just zone out?”

“CUT! Zhongli, you can stare at Ajax’s ass, chest, waist, all you want but later. Please.”

“What–”

—

Xiao and Aether

“Madame Ping gave me a teapot. Umm..”

“Ah yes.. So I heard.”

“I’d like it if you’d come over once, maybe tonight– for dinner y’know?”

“Of course, you just need to call out my name.”

Someone yells off camera

“WHY DON’T YOU JUST STAY FOREVER?”

“Hu Tao, please be quiet!!!”

“Boohoo, I just wanted to do that Mulan scene. You’re no fun, fatui boy.”

“CUTTTTTTTTT!!! You rascals, go away!!! It’s not even your scene right now.”