#spent 2 days traveling
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i cant believe im sick again this is ridiculous
#i was just starting to feel better after a week in bed#spent 2 days traveling#and bam#coming down with something again#what am i even wearing a mask for#god fuck me#honestly idk how many more setbacks i can handle#ever since i broke my shoulder#idk it feels like#ive just been treading water#trying to catch up#but im not getting anywhere#its just one curveball after another#like playing whack a mole#always putting out fires#<- and atruggling to find the right metaphor lmfaoo#and beyond that zero chance to focus on the important thing (writing this fucking thesis)#i dont even have anything to look forward to#thats the problem innit#right now my life sucks#and yet i am on the comfortable side of things#once i graduate there's only gonna be money problems and debt and a housing crisis and not being able to do what is right for me and pain a#nd suffering#the fucking bureaucracy#god i hate this country#its not something to look forward to#it feels like im waiting for my execution tbh#so yeah#no wonder im doing my utmost to sabotage myself#tbd
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TWO OF THEM
#snap chats#i always keep mags danglin onto my beltloop …… i must travel the world with him …#im still on the train but im tired of reading my book so if my phone die it die fjEOXNSJS#ANYWAY my friend brought her own lil magneto 🥺 so ofc we had an exhaustive photoshopt after lunch fjWOXNAOJRJD#please i just know the mates behind the counter musta been confused … eodnakksk#so silly… i had to walk like. an hour to our meet up spot but it was worth !!!!#we went to a comic shop afterwards and may have had a melt down when we saw two (2) magneto statues right next to eachother#UGH I SHOULDA TAKEN A PIC 😭😭😭😭 whatever…. <- screaming#we also found a lil pig doll dressed in a bear outfit when we were leaving. we have adopted it and named it onslaught dkOWSKSJ#but yeah day was real fun … and now i go home and ennoy my last weekend before school#time flew by so fast wow … time well spent tho….#ok BYYYYYEEE im sleepy …… i dont know how closeni am to my stop#but i should be home within…. two hours 💀
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boyz & girlz of octopath traveler II
(ko-fi)
#octopath traveler 2#octopath traveler II#osvald v. vanstein#hikari ku#temenos mistral#partitio yellowil#throné anguis#agnea bristarni#castti florenz#ochette#i spent way more time on the girls than the boys but I DIDN'T MEAN TO. i just had a harder time with the girls lmao#anyway. castti looks like she haven't slept for 3 days and that's because i was listening to her theme on repeat and it makes me emo
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I’m picking up way more Norwegian than i expected watching Skam. I fully expected that I’d watch the entire series once through understanding practically nothing of the audio and then in subsequent rewatches after having really picked up my studies (I’m at zero studies rn) start picking up words and phrases.
I’ve already got the days of the week, quite a few personal pronouns, several variations of hello and goodbye, some numbers, variations of yes and no, please and thank you, sorry, and a few short phrases (it’s all right, are you ok. Are you sure- that kind of thing) that I can understand while having looked away from the screen and missed the subtitle, and I’m only in episode 7.
#I do understand that Norwegian is super complex and any beginners luck I’m having here is temporary#but I’m also encouraged that I’m starting to pick up basics#and if after some deep study I went and just thrown-off-the-deep-end immersed myself I’d probably not die#and like I KNOW the majority of Norwegians speak english way better than I’ll ever speak Norwegian#and in daily interactions I wouldn’t HAVE to be fluent#but if I ever traveled there/lived there I’d want to understand enough to watch tv and understand the news and just be normal there#also I think if I ever did move there I would tell all my friends to force me to speak Norwegian 100% with them#because that’s how I got fluent in Spanish#I was CONVERSATIONAL and probably a B1 before I went to Guatemala#my friend (english but living in Guatemala) took our other english speaking friend with her one day#and looked at me and was like ‘you speak enough Spanish you will be fine’ and sent me off with her friends who knew not one word of english#the ‘speak or die’ panic immersion after the first 12 hours had me LITERALLY forgetting words in english already#I was SO TERRIFIED at the start of the day like buddy I don’t speak THAT much Spanish to abandon me to the wolves#but being FORCED to do it reprogrammed my brain so drastically that I was scoring a C2 by the time I got home#it was that first 12 hours of complete immersion that made something in my brain just switch off english#my inner voice itself swapped to Spanish#something about my subconscious realizing ‘english will not help you here—don’t worry I’ll delete it for extra space’#so for the rest of the trip I never spoke another word of English and was confidently chatting and bartering with the sales people#and any word I didn’t know I just described in Spanish like my brain didn’t even provide me with the english word#and as soon as the person I was talking to told me the right word for what I was describing#that word encoded instantly#it was an amazing bypass of having to translate in and out of English#I could have probably spent two months there fumbling around and not learned much without that day-2-of-the-trip 12 hours of immersion
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Getting up at 5.45 tomorrow to go to a work seminar in Manchester at 9 to hopefully get back home for around 6.30 so I have time to make it to Leicester so I can go cinema with my mum and watch the Edward Scissorhands ballet broadcast at 7 so I can get back home for probably around 11pm so I can go to bed and get up for work again the next day at 6.55
#Originally I was meant to be going on my own so I was gonna get the train up tonight and stop overnight#But then they say oh this coworker is going also :) and he can drive so you can both take the pool car :)#And he hates to be away from home so we just going to Manchester and back in a fucking day and doing a days work in the process#I'm gonna have to rack up about £70 in taxi fees and honestly I'm not even sure they'll approve the second taxi#Cuz that'll be from his home to Leicester which is like double the distance than my home#Which is really annoying cuz otherwise I could've got the bus for £2#God it's gonna be like 5-7 hours in transit tomorrow depending on traffic#I'm gonna be really annoyed if I miss the showing as well cuz that was planned in before the seminar#Oh and I don't get overtime so there's not really any way I can claim back those hours spent in travel#On god I need the financial stability to go down to 4 days a week 😭😭😭😭
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you're back!! it's been so long!! I missed you <3 <3
ahhhh I missed you too!! Life has been insistent on grinding me to a paste but we perservere
#life has been so so so hard <3#i've never fully recovered from long covid so an average workday was leaving me absolutely drained#and on top of that i had an incident where i was trying to look into a prior auth for a patient#the kid was trans and cried on the phone because he was afraid his insurance wouldn't cover his testosterone now that trump had won#his doctor was at her wit's end because she had been assured on three separate occasions that the authorization was all set#so since it was literally a dead day at work anyway i spent about half an hour playing phone tag with the insurance#trying to find out what their mcfucking issue was#only to eventually be told they wouldn't speak to a representative from the pharmacy about it and that the prescriber had to make the call#so i did let the prescriber know and found a goodrx coupon that made the price like $20#patient was thrilled and very grateful for the effort#(this was like. the day before christmas and his last chance to get his medicine before he had to travel.)#pharmacist however immediately jumped my shit when i hung up for ''wasting time''#despite the fact that there was??? literally no other work to do???#we had three other techs on and i was keeping up with the data entry as things came in while i was on the phone.#tried to defuse the situation by apologizing but she was literally top-of-her-lungs screaming at me#in front of my coworkers and the like 2 customers nearby. so loud that one person could hear her clearly from the bathroom#had worked with this woman for 5+ years and she was the reason i went to this particular pharmacy in the first place#left and texted my boss what happened and told her that this gets fixed or i'm out. had a meeting with the store manager and everything#told them i would have a conversation with her to see if we could move past this. and she refused to speak to me#so i quit and my bestie quit in solidarity and we have been job hunting except that we both also got sick as FUCK the next day#like vomiting shaking massive headache unable to function sick#his fever was like 104.7 at one point? it was ungood#i'm finally about 85% better and back on the job hunt but like. yeah#thought i had something lined up that would free me from the shackles of customer service but unfortunately the guy changed his mind#and the one pharmacy interview i had they wanted to pay me $10/hr 💀 homie that's a $9/hr pay decrease#so yeah life is a prison etc etc BUT not having a full time job anymore DOES mean#that i have the time and energy to tungl again without all the chronic exhaustion#silver linings!!!
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i need help to manage my budget... by help i mean 3 million euro sent directly from heaven i guess
#this is not even about The Economy and Housing Crisis this is like. my life and choices lately lol afjsahfjk let's see:#1. christmas gifts - i don't even know how much i spent on them because i had the flu and wasn't really thinking but let's say 1000 pln#2. trip for new years eve to the mountains - 2200 for hotel and then let's say 300-350 for food and stuff#3. bills like the internet and phone is 90; rent is 1100#4. trip to warsaw 100 hotel 180 food and drinks 200 ?#5. meet and greet with simple plan 800 .... i will never recover sfshdfsj but it was kinda worth it - won't do that again tho#6. groceries since i am back 120#7. and now i need to travel back home and it's like a cumulation because it was my dad's name day + my mom's birthday and their wedding#anniversary adsfhgsdjhsd so i need gifts again i mean i want to buy them something nice i already spent 180 pln but i will buy something#extra for each of them because i kinda want to because we see each other so rarely#8. public transport ticket for another month is 80#9. i will have to pay rent again soon and the internet and phone#10. i have a wedding coming and like 37 concerts#to sum up. i am Fucked <3 but writing it out helped a little ;_;#i will eat concrete and drywall by march <3#personal
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God, I am *so* tired
But it's time to write the entire last section of my thesis overnight because I promised I would, and I was supposed to work on it this weekend but I did fuck all instead :))))
#tbf there's like two weeks left till this entire thing is done#9 days till the final version (minus eventual small comments from the committee) is due#it's definitely manageable and it'll be over soon enough#like the version i have now is passable. i'm sure of it#i'm just like. ugh. so tired#and i'll get 4 days in between this fucking thing being officially done and starting my full-time job#one of which is gonna be spent travelling and i already have plans for 2 of the others#:))#herr's personal tag
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My 2023 was wild, not in a way that anyone would use the term "wild" except me
#this year i travelled to finland. met a beloved mutual there#next week after that travelled to sweden/denmark (like copenhagen & malmo lol) to meet my old friend (with a recent friend lol)#then like. in spring we had this active/fitness challenege that kind of speed-run developing friendship with my coworkers#that challenge lasted 3 months i think?#also bc of it i went on walks frequently around one pond and was observing day by day a swan pair nesting their eggs until eventually#i saw their babies#also went on a 19km hike and 26km hike during the event that was crazy. swore to never do it again#ALSO participated in a trail running event (6km) and swore to never do it again#then i defended my thesis and gratuated#started thinking about and applying for phd#went on a 3 day roadtrip to lithuania with family and aunts family#following week went on a 3? day roadtrip to poland with coworkers AND FILMED THEIR ENGAGEMENT#i think after that i spent some time in a coastal town to see my cousin (from sweden)#and then her; my sister and me travelled to sweden (again for me!) to bring her back home and to give my sister her first travel with plane#then i got back and got into a phd programme.#broke my car; fixed it; gave it to my sister and bought a new car#buying a new car also was a fun trip with my engaged coworkers (but within country borders and lasted a day)#then my phd studies started and with it a new job#which i realized i should quit 2 weeks in lol#then the end of year was calmer. i did have small trips for like christmas tree igniting in a small town and#coworkers birthday party that was pretty fun#thinking back it really seems wild to me
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Never ever EVER buy household appliances with ai in them. Most ridiculous things I’ve ever encountered
#to be clear i did not buy one but had to use one to do a load of laundry (who needs ai in a laundry machine??) and let me tell you it was#useless.#first the thing apparently ‘senses the dirty ness of your clothes to calculate the wash cycle’ which then would only ever decide to do a#cycle that took 4. freaking. hours. never have i encountered a washer that takes longer than an hour to wash your clothes.#and without the ability to manually say you want it to be a specific time? makes no sense. who has that kind of time in their day.#NEXT we go to dry the clothes and it also wants to run it for an insane amount of time. so we click it anyways (horrible decision)#and think oh we’ll just open it halfway through#well. upon stopping the cycle halfway through the damn thing says that the door is locked because it’s ‘too hot.’#never have i seen something that thinks i’m going to burn myself on my hot clothes. like cmon#also cause opening the door would be a surefire way to cool the clothes down you’d think??#so we try all sorts of troubleshooting things and even unplugging it and it STILL WOULDNT UNLOCK.#the damn thing is still locked btw. dunno if ill ever get those clothes back#so glad this at least isn’t actually a dryer we spent money on and just one that was here while we’re traveling and need to do laundry#but like. cmon#there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to decide how long to wash our clothes for and instead let a ‘smart’ (hint: it’s not smart) machine#do it for us#(hint part 2: this isn’t just about the clothes)#soni rambles#more like soni RANTS#i was already angry about the idea of ai in appliances but experiencing first hand how bad they are makes me even more angry#and a little scared for the future#now it’s 2am and the laundry is still stuck and im too upset to go to sleep. gah#and i don’t get mad easily.#oh and did i mention that to dry your clothes it wouldn’t let you select a temperature?? that it only said it would sense it itself??#see i like to dry all my clothes on low heat cause ive had a history of them shrinking#so not only are they trapped in the machine but it’s ‘too hot’ because it wouldn’t let us select a lower temperature.#luckily i didn’t put anything in that’s a material that usually shrinks
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coffee au please 🫶🏿
20 & 26
For this ask meme
i like my women how i like my coffee (inside me)
20. What is something you wish more people noticed about this fic?
I think Ava's back story in this is interesting! Abandoned as a baby is a slightly different take on her character and I kind of wish I'd given myself a little bit more room to explore that. Maybe I'll reuse that at some point.
26. Wild Card! I’ll tell you a fun fact about this fic!
Fun fact... I did not want to write this fic!! I put together my list of AUs and then immediately said...
To be clear - I have NOTHING against coffee shop AUs. I have read some great ones, I enjoy reading them a lot. I just didn't think I could write a good one that actually had something interesting in it. And also I don't drink coffee/tea/any hot drinks really. I know nothing about coffee.
And after all my dramatics about it, this has probably become one of my most liked/well-received fics. So. Push yourself out of your comfort zone, is the lesson here I guess?
#asks#sorry for delayin answering these!#i reblogged that meme then immediately spent 2 days travelling for work
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Hey, so I may have bought a third copy of Octopath Traveler 2
Should I do a Temehika run or do I do a Castti solo run? 🤔
#octopath traveler 2#decisions decisions#not me already playing octopath 2 on my gaming pc using a difficulty mod that is kicking my ass#i spent 2 days on Osvald's Chapter 1 because h o l y s h it#that man cannot catch a break#the difficulty mod decided to amp the difficulty of his chapter 1 fight to 11
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there is such a bone crushing fatigue of spending all my time working i feel dead
#i literally have tears thinking about how pointless and redundant and hopeless im feeling#think i might take 10 days off in july considering the last time I took leave was 2 days in oct#i want to travel this year but there’s so much guilt of spending that money because i don’t think i deserve this break it’s ridiculous#i’ve spent years saving this money for this reason and now thinking about using it for a mental break makes me feel selfish#but also if i don’t have a break of some sort or anything to look forward to im going to have a breakdown soon
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damn I rly have another 4 weeks of holiday this year huh. I should start making some plans
#well maybe more like 3 weeks bc I wanna keep some to use for long weekends or day trips#but thats still kind of a lot..#my problem is i dont wanna take time off just to stay at home bc I do that most weekends. but im not sure I rly wanna go anywhere either#I dont mind travelling but its very much just a function for me. even when im travelling for fun + not bc I Have to it feels no different#Im v independent but I just dont rly have the adventurers spirit. plus im disabled so going new places alone is so stressful sometimes#ugh I dont wanna let my parents catch wind of how much holiday i have tho bc theyll be like come stay with us for a week!#i will Kill Myself no thanks#theyll probs already get christmas with me and thats an ordeal enough#its the expense as well idk how much its worth it. even if i can afford it like that money couldve gone into so many other things#ahhh.#my flatmate did suggest we go somewhere together but i feel like shes gone off that idea.. ik she doesnt get as much holiday anyway#id feel bad eating into it just so she has to spend more time with me even tho we already live together. nightmarish ik#there are maybe some landscapes id like to see but not alone bc id wanna hike but i dont rly have any friends into that kinda hiking#like i cant rly just fuck off into the mountains for a week by myself the risk is stupid#i dont knooooow. maybe ill just do myself a cornwall trip v early or late summer when kids are in school that might be nice#bc its just trains to get there. and ive spent a lot of time alone there before like it wouldnt be as stressful as a New Place entirely#i wanna do a music festival in the summer too but rly id only need 2 days holiday for that. and again i cant rly go alone#so i need to find ppl to convince to come w me#god i feel so lame for not rly wanting to go on proper holidays. but its never felt worth it to me sorry 😭#blame the childhood trauma or whatever#ill stew on it and maybe ill think of something we'll see. ive got a while yet before id need to book stuff anyway#gotta do some more cleaning today but the sooner i can get it done the sooner i can play elden ring 🙏🙏🙏🙏#.diaries
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jenny holzer inflammatory essays <3 i stood on the stairs and read every single one (there aren’t as many as it looks. each one is on here on about two columns, i think. still a long time to stand there) and i was in the way and people had to walk around me but i was like psssh this is an art gallery if they’re gonna display art here then i’m gonna look at it here. and then afterward i went up and stood by the barrier above the stairs and actually i could read the text reasonably well. so. maybe i did not in fact have to stand in everybody’s way. but whatever
#had fun at the gallery but it was also so so exhausting & also it was a nightmare getting home & now i’ve been home for close to 3 hours but#i’m still soooo tired#but i’ve showered!!#but like i only made it through one collection exhibit & one artist exhibit. or whatever they’re called#there are like. 4 of the first one and 2 of the second one. i think#that’s not even counting all the paid exhibits. here i was thinking i’d get through the free stuff & then see if i could get tickets to some#thing else if i had time & felt like it#i spent two hours in that one section.#and like it was nice i got to see everything in there but oh my god#and there’s TWO tate museums in london. i didn’t know this until this morning!#i was thinking oh maybe i get through the tate modern today & i hit the tate britain tomorrow. a nice weekend of art#no. literally no#god i need to be travelling i haven’t left london at ALL i’m running out of time! but also i want to do this!#i’ve been thinking i’ll do a single day in oxford at least#but if i can’t do the tate modern in a day how can i do a whole city in a day…#and i want to go to SCOTLAND. when will i go to scotland!!!#but i have 6 days of vacation i still need to use at some point. so maybe that’s what i’ll do with them#i also have one day scheduled only because i’m going somewhere the night before & don’t want to work the next day#so maybe i go back to the gallery that day….#post tag
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#had an okay writing day for my thesis yesterday and it was a rly nice day overall and then idk. rsd hit i guess and#i went to sleep way too late so ofc today i've been feeling foggy and i haven't written a word and it's 6pm like..............#makes me feel like i wasted the work i did yesterday and i should've gone to my grandpa's bday celebrations yday#even though that didn't feel viable. he sure made me feel like shit for missing it too!#it just feels like see i could've gone and done yday's work today or some shit which ?? but sure#i just know myself and im p unbearable to be around rn/when im stressed/on a deadline so yk. + travel time + adjusting plus socialising...#also had a long talk w/ my friends yday and it was nice and it was all about how you experience consciousness but also idk.#also i keep being so sharp and kinda mean to one of my friends and it's sooooooooo she says it's fine and it's not that bad but ughhhhhhh#im sure the core of this spiral is i just rly don't like myself and i think im right not to so like. what now#and none of this even matters like. get it toGETHER#also adhd meds aren't magically fixing my life so that's another scam (but ok they DO help at least i can actually write and think then)#anyways.#i think it's. feeling this & hating myself and my friend talking about how they're past that and life is still hard for them#and it's not about me but it does make me feel stupid like true all my problems are self-made not even circumstancial like.#also feel like i keep saying the wrong thing to people and i keep messing up my words lately and boooooooo idk#anyways im ok i just don't wanna moan abt this to anyone specifically but clearly im stuck so yk?#should i share more nice moments here too??? i just always feel like whatever emotion im feeling disappears when i share it so???#maybe bc i overthink it then or whatever#but i can!! maybe i should#for yday: had a rly rly fun convo with a friend who gave me the wildest updates ever + spent time with 2 of my best friends#+ smelled the flowers and that v v specific spring to summer air and felt the sun on my face#FINE maybe therapists have a point
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