#specifically on a durge run. if you know you know

[grlmmjow]

Using the tadpole to show Astarion his face

Hi! This is... my first time coming back to tumblr after a long streak of inactivity. BG3 and Astarion brought me back.

I'm on my fourth run, my first dark urge. And I'm literally obsessed with them. I have a nice little story building up with Amara, my durge, and Astarion.

For now, I've just written a reimagining of the mirror scene in camp. I believe we've all always wondered why we have never showed him his face with the help of the tadpole... Well. It's now canon that Amara did that for Astarion in my run. And here is how it went!

I hope you enjoy! And please, keep in mind that English is not my first language. I do my best, though.

Rating: non-explicit

Pairing: Astarion/Dark Urge (Amara)

Word Count: 2014.

Summary: It's just the mirror scene reimagined to stream Astarion's face directly into his brain like we've all dreamed to do once.

It was a chilly night, despite the summer. 

Amara had been feeling a wave of… almost calmness for the first time in weeks. Shadowheart was tending the fire, Gale was lost in his tomes… Even Karlach seemed to be entertained enough with Wyll.

For the first time in weeks, they had an objective. A goal. And they stopped running around in circles, scared to know if there were going to be slimy tentacles in their future. They liked each other enough to be able to begin to form friendships. Which was a lot, considering Amara had no memory of her life prior to waking up on that beach. 

Despite everything.. Amara was feeling content. Having a goal was good. Having friends was good. The need to slaughter and maim was… controlled, somehow. And her stomach was full with very nice food. Gale was a surprisingly good cook, after all.

Tonight is a good night…

“Another thing I’ve lost!” The distinct tone of a certain vampire spawn interrupted her calmness, and she felt a wave of irritation wash over her, the magic in her veins crispling and itching to soar through her fingertips. Ugh. Having to control her dark urges wasn’t enough, apparently. She also had to be very careful dealing with her wild magic. Last time she let go, she transformed half the party into cats and dogs. Oh, she swears Karlach is still cackling to this day about that.

Her mismatched eyes focused on the source of the noise. Astarion seemed to be cursing a hand mirror, bending down to pick the pieces of the glass he just shattered against the ground. She decided to approach him, feeling confident that he liked her enough to keep her company. They had had a very pleasant night together, after all. Sometimes, she still wondered if he took her virginity that night. There’s no way to know what she had been up to in her past life.

“Hey. That was a nice mirror.” She mentioned, trying to sound casual, but startling the vampire. He seemed to be on edge, and he turned around to glare at her, a faint moment of vulnerability showing through before his calm mask slipped back on and he turned that frown upside down. 

“Oh, why hello there, darling.” He said in his silky tone. Amara had to hold back an eye roll. That had to be the fakest smile she’s ever seen in her life. Which, to his credit, is not long enough, considering her amnesia. 

She had begun to understand him. To see him. His demeanor, his nightmares, the way he tensed when an enemy restrained him one specific way…  

The way he refused to lock eyes with her when they made love two nights ago.

“Why did you do that, Astarion?” She asked, pointing at the mirror. The question seemed to ruin his mood. 

“Oh, you know. I had a moment of… weakness. It’s nothing that won’t pass in the morning. Don’t you worry, darling.”

Again with the silky tone and the endearing terms. She had been beginning to hate the way it sounded so fake in her ears. Couldn’t he trust her enough not to be perfect every time they interacted?

“Will it?” She raised an eyebrow, stepping a bit closer to him. He didn’t seem to mind the closeness outwardly, but his jaw clenched at her proximity. 

“Yes.” He said, lowering his chin and narrowing his eyes to send the message. He didn’t enjoy showing weakness. That much was clear. 

“Alright.” She said, not believing him for a moment. She knew he had.. a lot of issues. His former master and torturer made sure he didn’t live a day free of his torment, not even after being snatched away from his grasp. 

She watched him gather the pieces of glass in his hands, and seemed surprised for a moment when she realized what was upsetting him. His fingers weren’t being reflected in the mirror, even if he was holding it in his hands.

Oh.

That must be terribly upsetting for a creature that lived for vanity. 

“...Were you upset that you couldn’t see your face?” She asked bluntly, and Astarion recoiled. He really, truly didn’t want to talk about this. But something in the way she spoke to him, with curiosity instead of disgust, made him turn his gaze at her. 

“I… Yes.” He answered, setting the pieces of the mirror on the table next to him outside his tent. “I’ve never even seen this face. Not since it grew fangs and my eyes turned red.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

“Not even… in the water?”

“No reflections, darling. That’s how it works.” 

He seemed irritated. Amara wanted to ask him a lot more instances and examples of ways he could have seen his reflection… but she imagined he had already tried everything.

The sorcerer tilted her head. She studied his features, considering that it was such a shame that he didn’t get to preen in a mirror, considering just how handsome he was. 

But then, a thought occurs to her. She gasps, clasping her hands together in front of her. “... And what about mind reading?”

Astarion scoffed. “Mind reading?” But there was the slightest hint of hope in his tone, in his gaze. There it is, Amara thought. Finally. A bit of sincerity.

“Yes. We have been using it all the time. I can hear your thoughts, Astarion. Why couldn’t I just… show you your face like that?”

“What?” He froze, the only movement in his face was the rapid blinking of his eyelids as he processed the information. “You would do that for me?”

Amara looked almost flabbergasted. Why the hells is he doubting me, again? She tried to swallow down her irritation, and nodded as an answer.

“Yes, Astarion. I will show you your face. Come here.” 

She stepped closer to him, close enough for their chests to brush together. Her gaze lifted as his own dropped, his red eyes meeting her green and brown stare. She felt him studying her freckled cheeks, and for a moment felt self-conscious. Such a beautiful creature was surely making a judgement on every imperfection on her skin. 

“Close your eyes.” And he listened, surprisingly letting out a long sigh without a protest. Amara’s hands came to rest on his shoulders, and Astarion leaned in to press his forehead against Amara’s. She needed a moment to school her rapidly beating heart. He’ll know if you get too excited. Calm down, damn you!”

Closing her own eyes, Amara took a deep breath, focusing first on not letting her magic ruin this moment. She needed to make sure nothing wild happened. She was sure Astarion wouldn’t trust her again if he was suddenly turned into a sheep.

After a few moments, she felt confident enough to reach into her head and call for her tadpole. Soon enough, their minds were connected. She felt Astarion’s reluctancy at her prodding. He was a very private person, considering he never had such a thing in his 200 years of slavery. Well, she could respect that. But it would be impossible for her to show him his face if he kept building walls around his mind.

“Astarion.” She scolded. “You need to let me in.” 

Astarion hissed. “I know.” He sounded tense. But there was eagerness there, too. He seemed to be battling between his fear and his desperate need to know how he looked like. 

Finally, vanity won, and Amara felt the walls crumbling. A gasp left her lips as she got a glimpse of the man’s mind. And, gods. It was absolutely overwhelming. The anxiety and fear he felt at everything that surrounded him paled in comparison to the crippling terror he harbored for Cazador. Amara tensed, jaw clenching as she felt herself unable to pull away from that. She wanted to keep looking. She wanted to know. 

“Don’t go there.” Astarion growled, shifting his feet in front of her. His eyes opened, and Amara saw herself in his mind's eye.

“Sorry.” She apologized, and quickly looked away. “Let me concentrate. Close your eyes.”

Astarion grumbled something unintelligible but complied, closing his eyes again. Amara sighed, and began to focus on her task. She licked her lips and imagined Astarion, standing there in his camp clothes, playing with his dagger. It was a sight she enjoyed a lot. She wondered if Astarion felt the feelings associated with it, and felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her.

“Focus, woman.” He sounded eager, ignoring her embarrassment and forgetting momentarily about his composed and charming façade. He was going to see his face. His face. She couldn’t ruin it for him with her stupid lust.

“Yes. Sorry. Let me look at you.” Amara, then, opened her eyes and pulled away from that odd embrace they shared. She watched his face as he kept his eyes closed. She focused on his eyebrows, the way his eyelashes tickled the skin of his cheeks, his straight nose, his full lips, that cute little mole under his left eye…

Ah… What a beautiful man. The sight made her smile.

“Gods…” Astarion gasped as the picture was shown directly into his brain. He kept his eyes closed as a tentative hand lifted to trail two fingertips down his cheek. “I… I’m so pale…”

Amara raised an eyebrow. Is that what he is focusing on? She refrained from making a comment, though. Astarion seemed to be fascinated with himself. 

The wandering hand that was caressing his cheek lifted up to run through the stray locks of hair that graciously fell over his forehead. A grin spread on his face, “Oh! I knew I had the best hair in camp– Shit! I have wrinkles when I smile?!”

His panicked tone made Amara laugh. She shook her head. “You look perfect, Astarion.” But he didn’t look satisfied with that. His fingers prod at the lines on the corner of his eyes.

“Come closer. Come. Amara. Closer.” She obeyed, stepping close to him, her eyes focusing on what seemed to be the problem. She’s always found his laughing wrinkles adorable. She made sure to let him know that through the tadpole connection.

“Why, aren’t you sweet, darling?” He snickered, seemingly in a better mood than before the conversation started. Amara turned bright red under her freckles. 

“S-Shut up.” It was a compliment, but it backfired into making her feel embarrassed. Her eyes now fell to his lips, and Astarion raised an eyebrow at the gesture. 

“Concentrate now, darling. I’m not done looking at myself.”

Gods, this will take all night. Amara listens, focusing on the rest of his features. The way his hair curls around his ears. That dangerous smile. Those sharp, piercing eyes of his… 

“Mmm… Good. Good.” He shook his head, satisfied with what he was seeing. Amara could feel that, once again, his playful demeanor was nothing but a façade. The tadpole connection betrayed his true feelings of wonder, fascination and emotion. She mentioned nothing, knowing that it would only make him clam up further.

“Alright, I’m done… Now, just tell me I’m beautiful, and we can call it a day…” He teased, finally opening his eyes to gaze into Amara’s, finally satisfying his curiosity.

The elf tensed under that piercing stare. She didn’t look away, her voice nothing but sincere. “You are beautiful.” 

“Observant.” He stared at her for a few seconds, as if studying her. He broke the connection suddenly, and Amara grunted, bringing a hand up to rub her forehead. What was he hiding? His face betrayed nothing.

“You see,” He started, “mirrors aren’t much use, but having someone else project your face directly into your brain is… Different. I could definitely do worse.”

Amara is still reeling from being so close to him and having such a direct connection to his feelings. The mind-shattering fear concerned her, a lot. She’d have to keep an eye on that.

“Thank you, Amara. I won’t forget this gift.”

A smile. Her heart fluttered when he pronounced her name. 

“You are welcome, Astarion.” 

[popiellart]

oooooh so! for fic recs! I would ask for Dead Three fic recs for BG3 but I think we have read all the same things so Tyranny!!!

Anything with lush prose and Bleden Mark.

And anything with my fav problematic beastwife Kills-In-Shadow :D

i was under the impression i will be easily able to recommend tyranny fics - and then i remembered most of what i read was in russian OTL

from english ones, I really liked the Bleden Mark & Fatebinder It's A Hundred Thousand Miles Off, Coming Closer Every Day by ialpiriel and Ad Coleum by Nebulad, both short and sweet and dialogue-heavy, which I enjoy

there's absolutely nothing in english that's Killsy-centric which i consider a crime and a personal attack (she's the ideal woman. you may not like it, but that's what female peak performance looks like)

i would shamelessly rec my fics - if i ever finished and posted them

[hickeygender]

karlach is so sweet to my durge arzhur 😭😭😭

[jestericulating]

i feel like its my curse to fall in love with side characters but i feel like we dont appreciate mithara’s brilliance enough

like ur gonna look me in my eyes and tell me u willingly miss out on an incredibly written character just bc she doesn’t have as much content and you gotta murk a few twerps to get her. knock her out like the rest of us

like she’s such a fascinating woman. for someone so vindictive and evil she’s so willing to be immediately vulnerable with you and voice her concerns just because you decided to save her and she recognises that most people in their right mind would leave her for dead but You Don’t and she literally doesn’t waste a second expressing her gratitude. who else willingly does that without me having to wrench it out of them huh

and i think it’s so fascinating because she’s literally a commander And Also a noble and yet you can ask her about anything to do with home and her life before and she’ll tell you it all so willingly just because you asked. she doesn’t hide anything from you; everything is out in the open and straightforward from the get go. she’s a no nonsense woman and i deeply respect that

it could also just be a me thing but there’s something i really appreciate about her not really having any specifically romantic greetings. she’s stalwart and alert and ready to run into battle for you until you ask her for a kiss and then her voice softens and she’s sweet and teasing you and it just feels So Much More Natural you know?? i find some of the other romances dialogue to be a little too mushy or on the nose for my liking so minthara is hard Not to romance every time. even on a redemption durge run she doesn’t chastise or get upset with you for not taking the netherbrain for yourselves Even Though it was what she had been dying to do since she joined your party. she doesn’t even really need your apology, she’s just happy to be by your side more than anything and i think thats what makes her so Ride or Die because all that matters to her is you!!!! even at the reunion party that she says she doesn’t particularly care to be at (i dont believe her for a second i KNOW she likes some of the companions deep down) she hangs around and waits just so that you can hang out with your friends because she wants you to be happy. she is a very ambitious and selfish woman and yet as soon as you get with her she pushes all of her selfishness aside Just to account for you. if you dont wanna do it then it won’t happen. end of story. she’s not gonna force you even if it’s literally all that she wants. yeah the compromise is that instead of doing the Massively Evil Thing you just do a Smaller Evil Thing but i dont ever play characters that Aren’t in some way morally dubious so whatever

i fear there is no one so fiercely loyal and supportive of any decision you make than minthara and i’ll die on that hill

[kawareo]

Bhaalist Unholy Communion

This post has been living in my brain rent free and then it hit me in just the right headspace to turn into a vent thing and made me write poetry for the first time since eight grade anyway enjoy my ramblings under cut

because isn't it fucked up that Durge has no bodily autonomy? That he's nothing (using he/him because im looking at my Durge specifically) without Bhaal because not even his own body is his own but still a part of Bhaal?

And sure it is an honor to be Bhaal's Chosen, but is it really if you never got the chance to choose yourself? Strike, my Durge, was born a Bhaalspawn and grew up in the cult since he was eight. It's all he's ever known, he's worshiped for being a demi-god, he's powerful and on top, and in the end, literally everything he has is only because his Father lets him have it.

The Communion especially shows that, with Strike being still worshiped, but it hurts him, the Bhaalists rip his body apart, use it, consume it, and he needs to think of it as a blessing because how lucky is he, to be the soul that was loaned piece of a god to guard? He'd think of his own body like that.

And it hurts Bhaalists, too! It works both ways! His blood is poisonous and his flesh aches in their throats, but it's a blessing! God of Murder loves his son and his love hurts, and if you love him back, you must let yourself be hurt and know how lucky you are to be allowed to be hurt by Bhaal or his mortal flesh itself!

I'm just very into the whole 'no bodily autonomy' thing that we have going on with Durge, like his father not only can take control of his body via the Urge, but he has Sceleritas to guide him away from anything that could be not by Bhaal's books, Orin and Saverok to be a (although messed up as hell) family to him so he'll never look for another, and to some degree, Bhaal can control Durge's mind...

No wonder he'd run to Gortash in the end. The first one who sees more than a Bhaalspawn when he looks at Strike, more than Bhaal's scion, he sees a person and ngl it's totally Bhaal's fault that Strike ended up like that

[victorgrwrites]

Gortash Age/Timeline

For my prelude, see live footage of me at work below. (PS: Mac on the right there is basically my wife, she was very kind to let me ramble about this.)

Here we go. And I think it goes without saying, but spoilers ahead.

So, we have a better idea of Durge's timeline than Gortash, which is helpful since we know that they knew one another before the events of the game. On top of that, we know what each was doing when the other was doing something else. At least, to a point.

We'll start with Durge.

Exhibit A: We know that Sceleritas Fel appeared to Durge on their "age of majority", which is generally accepted to be 18. Could be 16, but we're going with 18 for the timeline.

---

Exhibit B: We know that in the prequel Blood in Baldur's Gate, the main antagonist is Dark Urge, and Sceleritas himself appears multiple times in the story. We also know for a fact that this happens in 1477, 15 years before BG3.

Therefor, we know that Durge CANNOT BE YOUNGER than 18 in the year 1477, and therefor cannot be younger than 33 in BG3.

It's important to note for later on that at this point in Baldur's Gate in 1477, it is very likely Durge has already started the cult of Bhaal or is on the verge of starting it. --- Like I said, easy as Hell, now on to Gortash. Cause he is definitely trickier; we'll be needing to work backwards for this guy. Exhibit A:

Gortash is intent on making a memoir of his life, and has given us a helpful order of events, if without dates and such.

Exhibit B:

We'll start with the heist at the House of Wonders. If you don't know what the House of Wonders is, imagine a giant museum/research university run by NASA. It's a big fuckin' deal, and holds some insane things.

We don't know everything they stole, but we do know some. 1. A Bhaal torture device and some preserved Bhaalist bodies (unimportant for our conversation), and 2. Schematics which served as the basis for the Steel Watch, as well as the submersible.

((I can't find the specific screenshot for the Steel Watch schematics, but just trust me, it exists.)) We can assume that Karlach was sold right around this time, maybe before, most likely right after. The reason why she was sold around this time is because... ---

Exhibit C:

Karlach is a proto-prototype Steel Watcher, or at least of the infernal engines the Steel Watch use. What Gortash most likely got for Karlach were plans/materials/development for the infernal engines.

So let's recap. We now know that ten years ago Durge and Gortash pulled their heist, traded Karlach, figured out infernal engines, and started production or development on the Steel Watchers. Neither were the chosen of their gods yet, and the Crown of Karsus wasn't even on their radar.

Let's keep going. --- Exhibit D:

The first and second listings in Gortash's memoirs are him founding the Bane cult, and then discovering that there was a Bhaal cult already started. I would posit that Gortash established the Bane cult right around the time of the previously mentioned Blood in Baldur's Gate. At the bare minimum we know that Durge had to have been already active and Sceleritas already trying to guide him. So we can likely say that Gortash established the cult of Bane in 1477. Which means he was not in the House of Hope any longer in 1477.

The Crux of the Issue:

Here is where we get into speculation, and there's several questions we have to answer that don't have a clear answer. 1. How old was Gortash when he was sold off?

2. How old was he when he escaped the House of Hope?

3. How long after that did he establish the Cult of Bane?

I'll give you my answer for these questions, and my reason why.

Given my previous post, you might know that I subscribe to the idea that Gortash had a knack for artifice when he was young. There's no way a devil/warlock would pay even a small amount for a useless kid. So, at what age is a kid "useful" while still being a kid? My guess would be as old as ten, as young as eight.

Based on the conversation with Nubaldin, I would say he was still fairly young when he escaped. The way he talks about Gortash establishes that the jailor remembers Gortash as a 'sniveling little shit' and 'mischievous little blot of a boy'.

I would put him at about sixteen, absolute tops.

3. I believe he would have started the Bane cult very, very soon after leaving the House of Hope because I have a sneaking suspicion that Bane's influence started at the House of Hope. Might be how he escaped in the first place, or maybe he heard about Bane while there. Either way, I don't think he took very long.

In my head, he's probably around 17-19 when he starts the Bane cult. But also, if there's age discrepancies, this is probably where they come in.

---

And there you have it. I don't focus on his in-game model much, because looks can vary so wildly. Especially when there's years of demonic torture, obsessive artifice study, and dead god cults. The game narratively describes him as a young man, so I generally erred on the side of "young" when figuring out this timeline.

If you've got questions, comments, additions, go on and lay them on me.

[ghost-of-a-dream-girl]

as a doctor, where in the hospital staff would you place each of the bg3 companions? what would fit their characters the most?

Hahah oh this is great

Gonna keep this to doctors but let’s do different specialties

Ok so starting off strong: I think Karlach has big emergency medicine energy. She’s running the ED with an energy that nobody else can match, but especially that resus/trauma bay! Doesn’t shy away from the scary, gets stuck in. You know they don’t need security there to restrain the agitated when she’s on shift- all you need is Karlach and some ket.

Next I think Gale has the same aura as a senior ICM registrar (intensive care medicine resident). Probably dual training in renal or respiratory, likely has a PhD on the side. He has intensity when it matters but is an utter nerd. Likely the type who doesn’t like odd numbers on the vent settings. Precise, a little OCD, but fucking magical.

Wyll has to be a medical registrar (internal medicine senior resident). Probs in something acute like acute medicine or resp/gastro. Able to deal with vast quantities of shit and still put on a smile, graceful, caring, and properly holistic in the way he views patients. Quietly competent as the hells. Sacrifices himself for the good of the hospital.

Shadowheart is a tricky one. It would be too obvious to lean into the goth girl vibes and say pathology or whatever but actually I don’t think that fits. I think Shadowheart is an anaesthetist (anaesthesiologist to u Americans). Very very competent and always there exactly when you need her to save everyone else’s asses, but keen to retire to theatres after the fun is over and just crack on with a case by herself. Able to gossip like a pro. Likes taking the lead with her own problem solving. Would be catty as hell about her list overrunning or the surgeons doing something silly. probably overly reliant on caffeine.

Astarion. Cardiothoracics. Probably specifically cardiac surgery. No mortal human can stand for 12 hrs and perform like that. Also the most (justifiably) egotistical surgeons around. Would be bitching about his colleagues across the drapes with Shadowheart. Has had 200yrs to practice his techniques so the ego is probably really well placed. Those rogue hands were meant for complex cardiac surgery but that hair was made for the drama of it too. Easy access to blood products. Would do 30% NHS lists and 70% private practice to fund his lifestyle. Best dressed in the hospital.

Lae’zel is that really strange surgical registrar (general surgical senior resident) that you’re never quite sure if she’s joking or not when she makes threats toward you. Obviously very competent. Makes other surgeons cry but particularly the men. Has > 300 publications in major medical journals. Probably pioneered a revolutionary new technique that she came up with one rainy Saturday. Can get an appendix out in 5 mins max.

There is only one woman for trauma and orthopaedics and that is of course Minthara. A woman who dominates what is well known to be the most male dominated field in medicine. Lowest complication rate in the country. Every single one of her male juniors is terrified of her and for good reason. Will operate on things other surgeons would be too scared to touch. Complex poly-trauma patient with ‘unsurvivable’ injuries? Watch them walk out of hospital 3 months later.

Honourable mentions:

Durge- you know what, it’s so tempting to put Durge as a surgeon or even a pathologist (people who do autopsies), but that’s just too obvious. I think the murdering would be kept on the side. One thing Durge would love though is blood and carnage, maybe even a little high octane drama. For that reason- obstetrics. A little poetry to a killer bringing new life into the world too.

Jaheira - that incredible Professor who only works part time clinically now but when she does everyone is reminded of how brilliant she is. Gives me the energy of a ‘seen it all’ medical consultant (internal medicine attending).

Minsc- he should be ortho. Everyone thinks it- he has big Ortho lad energy. But he’s not. Minsc is a paediatrician!!!! It shocks everyone when they first meet him, this massive guy with a hamster on his shoulder. The kids love Boo. He’d be obsessed with Prof Jaheira too.

Halsin- can see him as a psychiatry professor actually. Probs does dabble in a little of the cooler types of therapies on the side (and tries them for himself) eg LSD for PTSD. Mixes medicine with non medical therapies. Very soothing to listen to.

Withers- palliative care consultant that should have retired millennia ago.

Volo- ophthalmology. 👁️

—

[faerybella219]

First night at Gale's Tower

@desertharper 's request

Oh, I just read yours the other night on AO3, great job! Could I possibly get Gal and a female elven sorcerer Tav post-game the night they arrive home to his tower? NSFW/SFW, your choice. I just love post-game interactions for the good endings. :)

Fun fact: I play BG3 on Xbox and I started on my old Microsoft account. For some reason, I got logged out/ got “hacked?” and had to delete my account with 200+ hours… I was at the Netherbrain guys!!! So I haven’t finished the game yet but I also love domestic post-game fics. My Bard R! Durge, Vivienne, (who I have posted on here)  is my current run to the finish. In act 3 once again! Anyway, here ya go. It’s like half headcanon half fiction. 

It is still a shock to both of your systems that you’re actually alive. You have defeated the netherbrain against all odds- the old-fashioned way. With swords, spells, and sweat. 

First, we all know Gale’s need to impress you. I imagine him trying to plan a seamless moving day- maybe casting a protective spell over your furniture/ items while they’re being moved into his tower. I can also see him fretting about his various delicate magical artifacts, which the movers seem to disregard! Much to his surprise, might he add, since his mother had suggested this company! Although he likely skips the movers altogether and has his simulacrums move you two in. Some jobs are better done yourself. 

While his simulacrums bring in your boxes/chests of your belongings, they don’t unpack them. He respects your privacy and knows you may be particular about your things. 

I can see things happening quickly after his proposal. The day you move in may be the same day you see his tower (haha) in person for the first time- your new home. 

You can’t help but be overwhelmed by a feeling similar to deja vu. It’s surreal and sort of familiar. You’ve technically been here before. Gale brought you here through the weave while on the road, and you seem magnetically drawn to the balcony. You remember sitting on this very balcony in the weave. Waterdeep’s ocean glitters before you, and you get lost staring into the soothing waves. 

Gale puts his head on the top of yours. His hands rest on the railing on either side of you. He buries his nose in your hair and pulls you close to him from behind. It’s finally happening. It’s finally real. The peace you feel in this moment- hopeful, content, and unbelieving- it’s what makes your journey worth it. 

Turning around in his embrace, you hug him too tight and he makes a groan of strain and laughter. His classic old man noises. You could get used to those.  

Taking his face in your hands, you see joy brimming in his eyes. The way he looks at you makes your heart swell. Gale Dekarios- the wizard of intentionally limited renown is all yours for years to come.

He will likely insist unpacking can wait, it’s your first night together in your new home.

I have no doubt he will take you on a tour of the place, including special spaces he has saved for you/ your interests. You like to craft/crochet/sew? He has a craft room set up. What is his is yours. He knows you will handle his artifacts with care and if you are a sorcerer he will encourage you to bring yours and combine your collection. He has a section of his library saved for whatever literature you might want to add, and a section of what he recommends for you specifically- available for you to pick up at any time. 

Overenthusiastic is an understatement. But he tries to play it lighthearted to not overwhelm you. 

You cook dinner together in your new kitchen. You kiss in your new kitchen. He’s not a good dancer but is so overjoyed by you being here with him that he brings you close to sway. 

When it’s time for bed you notice he ordered a second nightstand for your side of the bed. In the drawer is something special and thoughtful, whether it's a chocolate you like or a book. Maybe it’s a solvent for some ailment that has been bothering you. He will remind you to put it on every night. 

I can see the night being with or without sex. I can picture him lying in bed and staring into your eyes, just treasuring your presence in his bed. There will be a thousand nights in the future for sex. Although, I can see the night needing a physical commemoration as well! It all depends on what your vibe is.

When you wake, you have tender good mornings with sleepy, rasping voices. He pulls you close, onto his chest as he praises the rest of your days together. He cooks you breakfast, and you two spend the rest of your second day unpacking your belongings and creating your shared home. 

NSFW BELOW THE CUT

Pure passion and savoring each other. The sex is emotional and slow. 

Tonight marks the rest of your lives coexisting and living together. You’re having milestone sex. This is no quickie. This is body worship, treasuring each other’s lives, and pure love and devotion. 

You kiss until your lips feel plump, your tongues tangle until you’re wet. Only when you’re squirming does he move south.

Gale uses every kiss as a landmark. He kisses your forehead, cheeks, down your neck- his hands are grasping and caressing anywhere he can reach. 

His hold on you is strong. Hands grip your waist as he devours you. He doesn’t want it to end. He teases you until you beg for release, and once you orgasm you can’t stop. He doesn’t let you get away with less than 3 before the night ends. 

When he fucks you it's languid and deep. His hard cock drags against your walls in a pull so delicious it's torture. Slow tenderness eventually turns to rapid passion as he gives in to his desires. 

You two are moaning and crying out into the night air as he pounds into you. Your grip on him is tight as your mouths and hips move in synch. 

You wake up with little marks over your chest, although you never remember him being rough. 

[moonselune]

hi seluney I love your writing so so much!!

I was wondering if you could write for Wyll, recognizing durge as someone he grew up being childhood friends with until they just disappeared one day? specifically a redeem!durge who's romancing him please! thank you so much!!

omg thank you so much that's so sweet! and yes omg I love this idea!

Wyll x Redeemeed!Durge!reader | Partners Once More

The campfire’s glow cast warm, flickering light on the circle of weary travelers. Shadows danced across your companions' faces, and the low murmur of conversation filled the evening air. You sat a little apart from the group, sharpening a blade you’d salvaged from the last battle. It was a task that required little focus, but it gave you something to do—something to hold onto. Despite the camaraderie that had begun to grow, you still felt the weight of the past clawing at your shoulders like a specter.

You stole a glance at Wyll. The Blade of Frontiers had been quieter than usual, watching you with an intensity that made you uneasy. You two had been stealing glances of each other more recently, the blossoming flirtation between the two of you becoming a steady enjoyment in your travels together. He was usually so quick with a smile or a tale of valor, yet tonight, he seemed… preoccupied. It wasn’t the first time you’d caught him studying you, his dark eyes full of thoughts he didn’t voice.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Alright, Wyll,” you said, setting the blade down and meeting his gaze. “What’s on your mind?”

Wyll blinked, as though pulled from a deep reverie. His lips parted, then closed again, and for a moment, you thought he might brush you off. But then he sighed and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

“There’s something about you,” he said, his voice low and contemplative. “Something… familiar.”

Your heart skipped a beat, a chill running through you. You forced a weak smile. “Familiar? Is that a polite way of saying ‘menacing’? I know I have a certain… presence.”

He didn’t laugh. Instead, he studied you more intently, his expression a mixture of curiosity and something deeper. “No, it’s not that. It’s the way you carry yourself—the way you try so hard to be better than whatever it is that haunts you. It reminds me of someone.”

Your stomach twisted. You had no memory of your life before the tadpole, only fragments of violence and bloodlust clawing at the edges of your mind. Those urges still stirred sometimes, whispering dark promises, but you fought them with everything you had. You’d vowed to be better, to make amends for a life you didn’t even fully remember.

“Who does it remind you of?” you asked hesitantly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Wyll looked at you, his dark eyes shimmering in the firelight. “Someone I knew a long time ago. A friend. No, more than a friend—they were like family to me. We grew up together in Baldur’s Gate. They were always… bold. Fierce. But kind, too, in their own way. They always had my back, even when I didn’t deserve it.”

A lump formed in your throat as he spoke, each word pulling at a thread in the fabric of your fragile sense of self. You wanted to deny it, to push away the hope blooming in his eyes, but something about his words resonated deep within you.

“What happened to them?” you asked, though you already feared the answer. Wyll’s gaze dropped to the fire.

“One day, they disappeared. Just… gone. No warning, no trace. I searched for them, asked anyone who might’ve seen them, but it was like they’d vanished from the world. I thought… maybe they’d been taken, or worse.” He paused, his voice thick with emotion. “But now I’m looking at you, and I realize they didn’t vanish. They became you.”

You froze, your breath hitching in your chest. “Wyll, I… I don’t remember,” you stammered. “I don’t remember any of it. The tadpole—it took everything.”

His expression softened, though his eyes still searched yours, as if trying to bridge the gap between who you were and who you might have been.

“It’s not your fault,” he said gently. “Whatever was done to you, whatever you’ve been through—it doesn’t change the fact that you’re here now. And that you’re still fighting to be good, even when it would be easier not to.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. “I don’t know if I deserve your faith,” you whispered. “I’ve done terrible things, Wyll. Things I can’t even fully remember but feel in my bones.”

Wyll reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “And yet you’re here, trying to make things right. That’s more than most people can say.”

You shook your head, overwhelmed by the weight of his words. “How can you be so sure I’m still the person you knew?”

A small, bittersweet smile curved his lips. “Because I see it in you. The way you protect the people around you, the way you fight against the darkness inside. You haven’t lost who you are—you’ve just forgotten. And I’ll be here, however long it takes, to remind you.”

His words unraveled something deep within you, a knot of fear and self-loathing that had kept you at arm’s length from everyone around you. A tear slipped down your cheek, and Wyll reached up to wipe it away, his touch warm and steady.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “More than you’ll ever know.”

A tentative smile broke through your tears. “I don’t remember who I was, but… if I had you as a friend, I must’ve been lucky.”

Wyll chuckled softly, pulling you into a gentle embrace. “No, I’m the lucky one. And now that I’ve found you again, I’m not letting you go.”

For the first time in what felt like an age, you let yourself lean into the warmth of another person, the weight of your past lifting just enough for you to breathe.

This was so wholesome omg i really wish we had more stories about Wyll's childhood honestly such an underrated character. Hope you guys enjoyed this! - Seluney xox

If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x

[y-rhywbeth2]

In your post about Durge's sudden normality you mentioned implied SA in the tags; would you mind elaborating on that? I don't remember seeing any implications like that, but I know I missed a lot of details in my first run. (Obviously if you would mind feel free to ignore this.)

Naturally this is going under a cut for discussion of rape, sexual exploitation and incest:

Some of it is mostly me reading into things and frowning, but Bhaal being able to violate Durge sexually and the intent of sexual exploitation (regardless of Durge's will) is canon and it does lend credence to the idea.

Durge is obligated to breed, and Bhaal can and will force them to; the original version of the feral ending in the dialogue files involves him forcing them into a state of sexual hyperarousal and forcing them to mate with a gnoll, in the same way he can force the urge to slay on them. Bhaal's intention there is to see if he can breed more monstrous Bhaalspawn. Some of the dialogue options are just Durge screaming in horror.

Durge has no memory of the actual rape; Bhaal forces them to spend the entire time thinking about him: "Your memory of last night's act is absent. In the moment of mounting, your mind emptied itself, and you could think only of Bhaal."

And knowing that, when I saw "I love you father. I'm a good [child], a good, good [child]" in the released version I had to go sit down for a bit.

We know that Durge is expected to have kids - it's a mortal sin that they haven't. It's also vague whether they tried or not pre-amnesia; they're described as "failing" not refusing, it could've gone either way. Durge may already have been exploited. Even if they don't disappoint Bhaal in game, this "duty" remains. It's not just the Tribunal making shit up; Sceleritas is your direct liaison to Bhaal, and he makes this clear to them as Bhaal's Chosen too.

We know that if Durge won't kill then Bhaal will force them to, and we know that he can force them to have sex too. It's entirely possible that Durge's only say in this is to either fuck partners they chose or have them chosen for them (as we all know, Bhaal has zero respect for his kids' bodily autonomy or desires past his use for them, and Bhaal wants more babies.)

At the very least, it doesn't seem to be a major part of Bhaal's plan for Durge yet, so Durge may have dodged this specific form of abuse for now.

Bhaal has also done this to Sarevok, it seems, who would probably have killed himself back in BG1+2 if he could see what would happen to him in his future.

Knowing that Bhaal has no issues inflicting sexual arousal on his own kids, those scriptures you find that explicitly refer to the pleasure he bestows on his followers when they kill as "erotic" unfortunately have little reason not to be applied to Bhaalspawn. It would also explain the necrophilia if Durge has been conditioned to see killing/corpses as sexual.

Not quite the same thing, but the thing where people think Durge fucked the Netherbrain is actually from a remark by Bhaal in the journal update, where he makes a crack that "That slimy thing in the Moonrise called you its fallen star. It was very reverent [...] apparently [you're] good at playing with tentacles."

That's not inherently sexual, but knowing that Bhaal is willing to sexually exploit Durge and that the fandom had already interpreted it as sexual, I did kind of stare at it in horror for a bit.

[trappedinafantasy37]

It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep so I’m just gonna start rambling about what’s on my mind. You wanna know what that is? Isobel. To be specific, Durge and Isobel.

Since my very first Durge run, it never quite made sense to me as to why the Urge would specifically want you to kill Isobel. Up until that point, the Urge has kinda been impulsive and acted without thought. But with Isobel, that’s very deliberate. Sceleritas Fel literally shows up in the middle of the night and gives you a name and a face. That’s never happened before. With Alfira, she was just a victim of convenience. Same thing with Gale, Arabella, the squirrel the grove, all victims of convenience. None of their deaths were planned before hand, but Isobel’s very much is premeditated and the only one that is.

But, there is something about the interaction with Fel that is super easy to overlook. If you talk to Fel about Isobel before you actually meet Isobel, you can ask him as to why you should kill her. He tries to reason with you by saying that the inn will fall if she dies and it will be a mass spectacle of murder... How the fuck does Fel know that? You aren’t even informed of that possibility of the inn falling upon her death until you meet Isobel herself.

Even if you don’t talk to Fel before hand and you meet Isobel first, the Urge and the narrator constantly keep trying to push you into killing Isobel. Now, the narrator does kinda goad Durge a lot, but not quite as much as when interacting with Isobel.

If you choose not to kill Isobel, Fel shows back up again and tells you of another premeditated murder and that is your companion with the highest affinity, or your romantic partner. Again, very weird. With Isobel, it’s a premeditated murder that you are in control of. But with your favorite person, it’s premeditated, but you’re not in control. But why? Sure, you can believe Fel at his word when he says that your body craves violence and it hasn’t gotten its full when you chose not to kill Isobel. But, it could be anybody. You can satiate your bloodlust on literally anybody. So, why your favorite companion?

It’s almost like the urge can only be satiated with your favorite companion because something, or someone, is punishing you for not killing Isobel. But again, why is Isobel so god damn fucking important?

If you kill Isobel or you kill your romance partner, you are granted the Slayer form. Yay! But there’s a very unique scenario that can happen in which you can be granted the Slayer form without killing Isobel yourself and that is if you allow Shadowheart to become a Dark Justiciar. This, I always found to be super weird. Technically, Shadow is responsible for the death of Isobel, and yet, you get rewarded for it anyway and your urge is considered satiated even though you didn’t directly do anything.

If your approval with Shadow is like 40 or higher, by default, she will always choose to spare the Nightsong on her own. Which means if you are above the 40 threshold, the only way Shadow becomes a DJ is if you tell her to. So, although you didn’t kill Isobel, you become indirectly responsible for her death which is why you get rewarded.

But you love doing the direct killing themselves. You love getting your hands wet with blood and gore. And this indirect route is… well… too clean for you. If anything, it’s Shadow’s hands that are bloody, not yours. So, why is your urge satiated when you didn’t do the killing yourself and the blood isn’t even on your hands?

That’s because the murder of Isobel is a fucking hit job. It’s an assassination. It doesn’t matter how she dies or when she dies, just that she dies. Now, I’m sure that this really isn’t some kind of monumental revelation, but the Urge is Bhaal. In the moments where you lose control, yeah, that’s Bhaal basically possessing you. It makes sense as to why you’re forced to target your favorite person after failing to kill Isobel, Bhaal is pissed that you disobeyed and is trying to teach you a lesson.

But, it also means that, for whatever reason, Bhaal wants Isobel dead. The only explanation I have is because it fucks over Ketheric which by consequence fucks over Myrkul. And we know for sure that the Dead Three and their Chosen entered into this alliance with the intention of betraying the other two eventually. It also pieces together how Fel knows that killing Isobel guarantees the fall of the inn and that’s because Bhaal knows. Marcus has been hanging around the inn for some time so he would already know of Isobel’s importance to the inn and relayed that information to Ketheric. It’s very much possible that Orin could have stumbled upon that info herself, or even pre-lobotomy Durge.

But, Bhaal is the pure definition of chaotic stupid. Killing Isobel in of itself doesn’t necessarily hurt Ketheric. In fact, when she dies, he may not always know. I think the only way that he does know that Isobel is dead is if Marcus ends up taking her corpse back to Moonrise in which Ketheric resurrects her and puts a worm in her brain. At that point, he can guarantee that not only will Isobel always be alive, but she will always be by his side. It’s pretty morbid and fucked up, but it actually ends up strengthening Ketheric.

Anyways, it’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I’ve been awake for 22 hours. Sorry if the rambling is a little incoherent. I just really had to get this shit outta my head. Now, I’m gonna go lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for another 3 hours cause I’m still not tired.

[celestialholz]

Be still made, my beloved crossbow (or 'let's talk about Durge's other other weapon... and maybe a bit about Stillmaker too')

You've read this post, friends. You know it's true, I know it's true. (And it's bloody beautiful by the way, lovely job @darkurgediaries.)

But wait, there's more.

Let's have a quick chat about the Hellfire Engine Crossbow, because if Stillmaker is Durge's blade from Gortash, this is Durge's side-bitch from him... or it was meant to be, anyway. Man never quite got around to piecing it all together.

Okay, let's start with er... I mean look at it. It's white, has a phoenix head on it - a creature that symbolises resurrection, rebirth and immortality, how very Durge, and is also associated with sun gods when Gortash is this easy to turn into a Lathanderan and that guy brings light to each new day - and it's also embossed with Gortash and the Steel Watch's black and gold motif.

And then you take a mechanical look at it and... hang on.

What are you doing here, Lightning Arrow? The Steel Watch don't have Lightning Arrow, but you know who does have Lightning Arrow? Rangers - archery experts, usually - at level nine and up. And who can we consider that's on level nine and is really good at archery?

And who can we consider who might run out of lightning-basic magic in the heat of battle; who is white, and has a theme of rebirth either by rejecting Daddy Bhaal outright or embracing them anew, and knows a sun-coded Radiant guy, and may once have had business in the Foundry?

Well hello The Dark Urge Vanilla Edition, our old spicy friend. There's also the lovely addition of Reposition Malefactor - Lightning Arrow, grab, Stillmaker stab. Classic Baldurian efficiency.

You know what kills me about Gortash's Radiant coding and Durge's Lightning? The first thing you see of lightning is its flash, its brilliance, and the second thing you see is its destruction. The light isn't the part that hurts you, but it's inextricably linked to the thing itself, just as you can't have the destruction without the light. Symbiosis. Gortash could have been thunder-coded, but... no. Thunder isn't destructive, not usually. It doesn't happen at the same time in the storm.

It's not symbiotic... it's not equal.

... Yeah no, I'm fine, not emotional at all. No sir, could not be me. Despite being level nine too, Gortash doesn't have Lightning Arrow. Why would you need lightning, when your beloved has it in their veins, when you've made them a crossbow specifically for it? You just bring the 'light' part, don't you?

Symbiosis. Peace and love on planet Faerûn. Anyway...

If we must consider the application of Lightning Arrow as a helpful aid to the depleted Storm Sorceror, we should probably consider Stillmaker's equivalent.

Hold Person. Hold. Person. Which, yes - very useful bit of utility for our lovely Durge to have, 100% - but then you consider the fifteen separate dimensions of romantic overtones in Durgetash and you just can't help but feel: Hold Person. It's a bloody hug. It's support. He's made it easier for you to slaughter people, which at least used to be your favourite thing to do.

So Gortash has A. made your murdering life much more fun because you can savour the kill and B. made sure you can still kill from a distance if anyone else happens to be around and you're tired.

What a complete fucking simp. 🥺❤

On the subject of Stillmaker in fact, much as the Fabricated Arbalest to the Hellfire Engine, it's rather different to Durge's main dagger, Bloodthirst.

This is pure function. Made to please Papa in the most gruesome way possible, whichever hand you feel like using to wield it.

Whereas Stillmaker... it's got an attached hug. It's got a wavy blade, perfect for the task of slicing and dicing - one that's very difficult to forge, that must have taken time and care.

... Well. Must have taken a mortal time and care. Because lest we forget, it's not the only wavy blade Durge owns.

... Seriously, Larian. How are you going to make both of them wavy. I'm on your ceiling fans.

It's two separate dimensions to Durge's life, in two blades with the same nastiness to them - absolute utility, versus actual care.

This is literally more intricate than the thing presumably given by a god. That's going to tear like a bitch, truly. And it's even got Bhaal's delightful countenance up front and centre. What was that devnote, about convincing the child of a god that they're not a monster? Mm...

Oh, I don't know. It's almost like, for a while anyway, Durge's connection to Gortash was more important than the one to their father. Maybe they wrote something about that very thing, in fact. Imagine. 🥲

I'd like to take this opportunity to also note the very violent and Thunder-mentioning text attached to the Hellfire Engine...

... And the fact it's found in three parts, because y'know, Dead Three.

There's only one minor flaw in this whole thing, really. One teensy little tiny problematic detail.

Sorcerors, unlike Gortash, can't use Heavy Crossbows.

... But, then, they can't use shortswords either.

I'll let you be the judge, shall I?

[feniksido]

For some reason my post about the Heist in the Hells has been getting some traction recently so I thought maybe it's time to talk about my actual thoughts on what I would like to see in the hypothetical Heist in the Hells DLC (my personal hell)

I was trying to figure out a whole bunch of stuff about Mephistopheles and the 8th layer of the hells! First, the vaults are in Mephistar, a citadel on top of a Glacier named Nargus, which is piloted by Mephisto all over Cania constantly on the move. Mephisto has his slowly melting throne at the very center of the glacier, and the rest of the city is like a mini-hell with 3 terraced levels where the lowest level is with “lowly least devils” and mid tier for mid devils i guess and then hellfire masters and nobles and the wizards on the third higher levels. It’s heated on the inside of Mephistar! It has baths and scented fires (not sure what they smell like but I assume something other than fire?)

The rest of Cania is just like barren wasteland full of just the weirdest left over arcane energy cus of Mephisto’s experimentation, its cold as fuck and it has constant surveillance against spies, mostly spies sent by Dispater, mr THE Arms Dealer of all the planes, so you know that motherfucker mephistopheles is very used to these types of people showing up and trying to go into the vaults and such

NOW Helsik very specifically used the words “I punched a portal into the Archdevil’s dusty vaults”, so I assume it was directly into the vaults that they fell into. I'm not sure how this is even possible but i'm not one to ask questions that i will never understand the answers to (lying, im seething) 

However, regardless of the fact that I don't know how Helsik the queen that she is did that, she did do it. I imagine the vaults are huge and incredibly elaborate and probably several stories? Layers? Deep. The items and scrolls and information must all be neatly cataloged and kept track of in the most particular way because Mephistopheles is nothing if not obsessively controlling of all his knowledge and information

However the whereabouts of the actual physical objects must be like.. Constantly changing or magically protected so that those with no authorization cannot find their way through the vaults

Mephistopheles’s filing system is… insane but i do think he would keep track. Or make someone else keep track. He’s very busy. He typically hands down experiments he ran out of time to deal with in his busy schedule to his lessers so I wouldn't put it past him to have someone else also take care of the cataloging. The Crown of Karsus is NOT high on his priority list so i understand how this was potentially feasible to Gortash and The Dark Urge

Actually Talking about the heist itself now: 

I imagine that if a whole heist dlc (don't think we’re getting one but a man can dream) did happen it would start with a bit of exposition. Probably explaining a little bit of the Letters between Durge and Gortash. Specifically these ones:

Then we cut to a scene where they’re already at Helsik’s place. They’ve discussed the plans in depth, they’ve been doing test runs for this in the House of Hope and now it’s time for the real deal. 

Helsik “punches” the portal into the Vaults and they jump in. The portal closes behind them, Helsik will not allow herself to be implicated in anything. They take in their surroundings; they have to be quick, although it is heated inside of Mephistar the frigidness of Cania cuts deeper than anything Baldur’s Gate could ever manage. I imagine that they, having never been here before, look for something that can help them navigate/orient themselves in the vaults. Perhaps that whole cataloging system I talked about earlier. You can choose to ignore it and just go straight forwards checking every room making it substantially harder and less efficient which makes Gortash a little pissy at you for not taking his advice and helping him look for that or you can look around for one but the actual system for cataloging is encrypted 

Maybe a mini puzzle game can take place here, like the one with the brain in Moonrise Towers 

The thingy would then lead deeper into vaults where they would fight Gelugons (the main residents of the 8th layer also known as ice devils) and other assorted devils including pit fiends and pain devils. Maybe a couple dire polar bears also who knows who Mephisto but on his security team

At one point i want to come across an ice devil that much like Yurgir in the house of hope in act 3, can be convinced to side with you and become a temporary ally (perhaps it holds resentment towards Hutijin, mephistopheles’ second in command, and just got sick and tired of the monotony and wants to stick it to the man, i just want a devil in my party even for a second) 

If you manage to successfully persuade this devil to join you, Gortash might be impressed and tell you about how tricking a devil is no easy feat, you can ask him to elaborate on that and he might tell you a bit about his time in the house of hope as Raphael’s unwilling guest Who knows

Moving on, I’d like several more puzzles to delve deeper into the vaults, some that lead nowhere some that lead exactly where you need to go, if you did the earlier puzzle Gortash will be able to guide you and say which ones lead nowhere and which ones are the ones you need to do 

Eventually I want a mechanically engineered door to be the next hurdle which Gortash takes upon himself to solve on his own since he’s more well suited towards this kind of thing, during this, rounds and rounds of incoming security swarm around you both, and Durge has to defend Gortash while he works on getting the door open. Much like the quest for Halsin looking for Thaniel in the Shadowfell, you gotta keep the portal open but instead of “keep the portal open” its “keep Gortash alive and not distracted”

When the rounds of enemies are done you get a little cutscene where you see Durge being overwhelmed by the many devils and it cuts to Gortash who has just opened the door and he takes less than a second’s pause before he decides that instead of going through the door and escaping to relative safety on his own, leaving durge to die he helps durge and they are both able to get through the door sealing it behind them, now in relative safety, they both take a second to breathe 

You as durge now can talk to Gortash and have the dialogue options to say Thank you, scold him for dragging you away from the bloody slaughter, or question his decision to come back for you

I THINK IN MY MIND that the response for all these options would basically be the same, because Gortash is a well practiced speaker and knows exactly what to say but his body language would sort of give him away for the way he’s feeling about the option you choose 

Thanking him would lead to a more defensive “pushing away” way of saying “I still require your assistance, we’re not done. Don’t expect it to happen again.” tsundere ass but like imagine that but better written 

Scolding him would get a sorta like “I cant fucking believe this” as if he expected durge to be a little more practical about things and not lose focus in the madness that was that slaughter and rampage, like i said still the same but just “Argh! I still require your assistance! We are NOT done. DO NOT expect it to happen again if you intend to act this way.” He needs you to focus, not lose yourself in blood

Questioning and challenging his decision but not outright saying you disapprove would probably be playing right into the whole “equals who challenge each other” thing that he likes to do so it’d probably make him slow down, talk slower, make him really think about why he did it and do the thing where while talking he can't look at Durge in the eyes so he looks off to the side or down at the floor “I still need your help. We’re nowhere near done. Let’s not expect this to happen again, yes?” Like acknowledging that yes that was in fact weakness that neither of their masters tolerate (because obviously the correct thing a baneite would have done is let the bhaalspawn die so that he alone already so close to the crown could take it for himself) and almost regretful that he didn't have a better excuse

You continue forward and finally come into the room with the Crown of Karsus and the portfolio labeled “Accelerated Grand Design”, there they encounter a boss fight, probably not mephisto himself cus they’d be dead tbh but maybe a simulacrum or something idk here things get a bit dicey for me cus what the fuck! How do they get out? I thought maybe they do the fight and once they grab everything they need or want they maybe have an enhanced cloak of dimension door or maybe a scroll of teleportation or something to get them out of the deep deep VAULTS themselves and into a place where they can “safely” create another circle on this side with the components and specific instructions Helsik gave them 

They’d arrive home back in Baldur’s Gate and celebrate their victory briefly and bada bing bada boom the dlc is over. If i had it my way at the end right there those two idiot geniuses would get so horny from the powerrush and bloodlust they just experienced that they end the dlc with durgetash fucking nasty 

[utilitycaster]

anyway this is obviously a wild shift in the topic of conversation, but I was talking about it in the group chat last night as a distraction and would like to continue the distraction if I am being honest, so, with the caveat that this is based off of Fandom Osmosis Observations and a few reads of reviews and I have at this time played neither of these games, some thoughts about BG3 vs. Veilguard and what I've seen. many thanks to @captainofthetidesbreath for actually knowing things about video games and answering my many questions.

also just putting this up front with all said caveats: if you disagree that is great, I am very open that this is an outside observation and I could be very wrong but I am going to block people who get hostile without warning, and make this nonrebloggable if too many people get hostile. You are always permitted to disagree but like, I don't really care about your opinion if you're not someone with whom I have a pre-existing rapport unless idk you're like, actually a BG3 or Veilguard official story writer who happens to be on Tumblr. If you're a player? You have all of your own biases and they are not mine. Save it for someone who wants to get in a fight about this; I am not that person.

Essentially, what I've seen in terms of criticism from Veilguard that isn't just rampant transphobia comes down to the following:

why am I not playing my previous character from Inquisition again

why am I limited to a fairly consistent through line for the story

But first, I'm going to talk about BG3. What's funny is I seem like a much more obvious candidate for playing BG3, as a longtime D&D player who has come around on Forgotten Realms as a setting. However, while I looked at it for a while, I eventually lost interest for a couple of reasons. One is that apparently all the characters are WAY too eager to romance you which is like, a fun fantasy for 10 minutes but would probably annoy me in the long run. Another is that everyone who watched early reviews and kept abreast with the game told me that there was a clear favorite companion (Astarion) and that many of the characters had most of their interesting flaws sanded down (eg: Wyll was apparently much cockier originally; Shadowheart even more petulant; and as these are perhaps the two characters I was most intrigued by, reducing them to something blander destroyed much of the appeal). But perhaps the most interesting one is that as a boring goodie two shoes sort of person, my thought back when I was like "yeah, perhaps I will play this" was "oh, I do not want to have a murderous urge within me."

It became very apparent, through watching people play through and post on my dash, that if you didn't specifically play as the Dark Urge, and didn't specifically resist that urge, the story didn't really cohere. I have to admit, I know the premise of BG3 very well (tadpoles), and I know a lot of shipping trends (put a pin in that), and I know some of the more obvious points within it (Astarion is a vampire, Gale and Karlach both have bombs in their chests somehow, Shadowheart bleaches her hair) but I don't really have a great sense of the ending, and I did not avoid spoilers.

It feels like BG3 is designed for people who have one of those massive spreadsheets of D&D characters they haven't had a chance to play that are meticulously kept and thoroughly realized...and don't really leave room for modifying to fit the campaign you will actually be playing in. It feels like an OC sandbox simulator unless you do actually pick the choice the writers actually wrote for (Durge), and while it's not technically playersexual...it kinda is. I mean, I am a big fan of the trend in video games towards making it possible to romance anyone because it conjures up the idea of a world of high-powered bisexuals running around, which is very enjoyable for me, but the criticism of the Mary Sue archetype originally was never "how dare you fantasize about being cool." It was "wow, the characterizations are all warped beyond recognition solely so that everyone is in love with this character, and that makes for a dull and unsatisfying story." If you're everyone's type, and it's for romance and not just sheer lust, then either everyone around you is boring and wants the same thing, or you are sort of bland and inoffensive, or else the story is bashing characters together without a good basis for a compelling romance. This is also compounded by the fact that the companions can't get together with each other if you're playing your own character and not an Origins character.

None of this is to say it's bad to like BG3 and again, I didn't play it; but it is why I ultimately said "you know, given the effort involved to play it for me, a person without a gaming system, it's not worth it."

Veilguard has specifically intrigued me for going against a lot of this. You have a lot of choices in your character build, but they're all fairly thematically consistent: you did something within your faction that was well-intentioned but upset higher-ups and so you need to step away for a while. This establishes a personality for you! We know why you're part of a faction but also something of a free agent at the moment. We know why you're here and why you might be a good candidate for the current mission.

I'm not going to go into detail for the choices because while I'm not avoiding spoilers I don't want to spoil a relatively new game for others, but a lot of choices are fairly parallel, not in an "illusion of choice" way - they have consequences - but in terms of hitting similar themes. You can only save one city and both are places you have seen and places your companions have connections to; while the exact details may differ you are telling a consistent story.

I also think the fact that the companions can romance each other in your absence is important too! They exist even when you're not there. They are not just here to woo you, and indeed, they might be a better match for each other. I've been informed this is true in Inquisition as well, and I think it's a much more rich world if you, as the player, as the person who can ultimately decide the fates of your companions, aren't the center of their personal life. I also think it prevents the ability to sand down companions to be more agreeable to you as a player if you have to make an NPC/NPC romance compelling (and I will freely admit that, in a move that is not at all like me, I was pretty well sold by a potential in-game NPC/NPC romance, which is usually not the thing that gets me into works of fiction).

I'm not the right person to speak to the Inquisitor not being a significant character because I did not play DA:I, and I get that 'well, this is a new game with a new protagonist, as there has been for every Dragon Age game' is still not necessarily an adequate explanation. Nor is "hey, maybe it's good to attract new players" even though as someone who is highly attracted as a new player that is my opinion. However, I want to go back to the point about Resist Durge being the strongest option in BG3 in terms of story by a long shot. When I was trying to learn more, I said "ok, so just like how you're Tav in BG3 and Rook in Veilguard, you're Lavellan in Inquisition, right?" and was told that you are not - that's just the elvish Inquisitor option. Obviously this is anecdotal, but the fact that one option was far and away the most popular and thematically resonant is an indication that perhaps bringing forth the Inquisitor is carrying over some of the limitations of that game, whatever they may be. The true argument is "they are trying to tell a specific story here, and it is about a different POV than the one you previously had."

And that's really my point. I know I'm not an expert here - in fact I'm usually quite hesitant to write meta about things in which I'm not highly steeped, and very critical of those people who do - but I think an outsider perspective is useful here. The thing that is drawing me to video games is a new way to experience a fictional narrative (the other game I have been meaning to play - and even own on Steam- is Disco Elysium). That's not what everyone wants! But it is what I want. And so I want to be put into a developed, thoughtful narrative, and I don't mind if my choices are restricted in order to support it, and if I am playing a person I did not entirely choose. In tech, there is a saying of "make it easy to make the right choice (and hard to make the wrong one)" and so if you need your protagonist to hit certain beats, you should make that the required protagonist.

I think a story is stronger if your choices matter but if there is something of a foregone conclusion because it gives the writers thematic throughlines. This might sound a little silly given that this blog is largely dedicated to Actual Play but the thing is, most actual play does have, if not a foregone conclusion, at least a strongly intended conclusion of "work towards uncovering this mystery and achieving this goal", though the success of said goal is not guaranteed. I would argue that when a campaign lacks that, it tends to suffer in all aspects. RPG video games almost always have a foregone conclusion, but that's its own liability. In actual play, lacking a forgone conclusion means you spin off in any direction and it's anyone's guess if it's coherent. In an RPG, having this conclusion but not supporting it through the rest of the game will make it feel contrived. I feel a lot of Veilguard criticism is focusing on small contrivances early on that really mostly matter to a highly specific subset of potential players that prevent much larger and less forgiveable contrivances later on.

Anyway. Again, I am an outsider here, and I'm not here to say that it's bad to have a more open-world, sandboxy game with a self-insert-y OC type; but I have to be honest, I'd rather explore that in a true sandbox of fanfiction or original fiction, which is significantly cheaper and in which I can actually tell the entire story I want to tell. I don't want to be given more choices if a lot of them will be profoundly unsatisfying as a narrative. I don't want to cut through the world like a hot knife through butter. I want to be affected by it, and that's very hard to do with a character whose only trait is "self-insert whom everyone wants to fuck" or "guy that already carries the baggage of years of personal headcanons and highly variable choices that are hard to account for for every single person who ever played the previous game."

[desertrose244]

Hii!!

I was wondering if you could share some of your favorite fics? I've been in a drought and was just curious 🦅

RAH YES I CAN THIS IS MY FAVOURITE QUESTION TO GET!

I wasn't sure if you wanted fandom specific ones so here's just a collection of some of my all time favourites. These aren't one's that I've linked on this blog before, just because I already have given those appreciation posts and I have SO MANY FICS and authors that I love. Anyways, all of these are /reader - and most have mature tags, so just be mindful : )

BG3:

[Ongoing!] Hellish Rebuke by @bludazey is an Ascended!Astarion fic that answers the open ended state we left Tav and Astarion in. It's dark and filled with drama in such an addicting way I am literallly almost falling off my chair waiting to see what happens in it! Everyone within it is characterised well and the lore put into our MC makes choices a much more 3 dimensional thing as they are not a blank slate like the ingame Tav! [Complete!] Aleatory by @avas-poltergeist is a prequel fic for a durge run centering Astarion x Durge and it's a fic that knows the tone it should take and executes it perfectly. I especially love how it doesn't hold your hand through it's narrative and doesn't treat it's reader as if they are stupid. Some actions, feelings and thoughts are almost done as if they are environmental storytelling and I am a SUCKER for it. Also I just adore the durge being a halfling- they are characterised perfectly. Transformers:

[Complete!] Gravity by @shinyportalsandthings - ohhh my god I dont even what to say. This fic is a Starscream fic and wheeew boi it can be hard to make the gremlin a compelling romance but this fic blows it out the park. The dialogue is witty and natural- I adore the scale of it because it's not a "let's end the millions of years long war" it's just a "let's go be happy" - UGHHH It's just so fun, redeemed Starscream I love you. ((More reccomendations for Transformers are on my metal dune, found here!)) Misc:

(Doom (2016)): [Complete] Rip And Tear (Into My Ass) by Goremungunder is one of two inspirations for my entire writing style. It's a Doomslayer insert fic and it's just perfect in every way. Such an enjoyable read and an excellent fic for a x reader tag that doesn't get much attention. I think about this fic at least once a month and have read through it like 5 times pls give it some love its amazing.

(League of Legends) [Complete - I believe- but set to ongoing] Dream a Little Dream by OrangeCrushCrushCrush is just hilarious and at the end of each chapter even features some art made by the author! All of their work is enjoyable to read, even without knowledge on the world or a pre-existing like for the character. I mean, the second half of this fic is centered around Yorick Mori- a character in League I had literally NEVER touched- but then I read this and mained top lane for like 4 months after.

I think I could actually go on forever, but I'll stop here for now. Thank you for the question Star! I really love getting to go through my bookmarks and deciding what I want to reread XD

[chronurgy]

i loveeeeeeeee your hc about gortash in all your tags!!! can you share your favorite hc about durge/gortash shenanigans in the city?

Yeah absolutely! Shenanigans hmmm....

Some of these will be a little more specific to my durge (Vesper, half-drow wizard) than others

During the Hall of Wonders heist, gortash specifically left some guards out of his reconnaissance to test how Durge handled themselves under pressure. He wanted to know if this was someone he would work with or someone too crazy to manage.

Gortash and Durge did a heist in the House of Hope as a trial run for their heist of the Crown - this is when they stole Raphael's shoes (the helldusk armor boots that Gortash keeps in the chest at the foot of his bed). Gortash didn't tell them about his history there or with Raphael before they went in. I think after seeing him there Durge did put at least pieces of it together and really left lots of burn marks and blood and guts spread around in their wake to get back at Raphael. They also broke at least one priceless and irreplaceable vase on "accident" while they were there. Their ire towards Raphael from this realization actually manages to carry over even when they can't remember why and it's partly why they're so determined to kill Raphael and so insistent that they won't work with him.

Gortash takes Durge to fancy parties, for a number of reasons - as a bodyguard, to bring them close to a murder target, to introduce them to the kind of high society stuff they'll be involved with as his co-ruler. But also because he loves to show them off, his darling assassin, loves the vicious little comments they make about the other attendees. He starts finding excuses to bring them to any party he can because he only ever enjoys these parties when they're with him, when he has someone just as brilliant as he is at his side. Durge usually has to attend in disguise but sometimes just dressing up fancy enough not to look like a sewer rat is enough to fool people.

Gortash is the kinda guy who will work himself to exhaustion and then fall asleep at his desk. The first time Durge found him like that, completely dead to the world on top of his diagrams and sketches, they thought about killing him. They imagined every detail, knew exactly how it would go. It would have been so easy, because he's so defenseless like this. They see his eyes moving under their lids, see his hands flex, and little expressions pass over his face - they know he's dreaming. They wonder what he's dreaming about (is it them?). And they don't kill him. They just watch him sleep, fascinated by the differences between the waking man they know and this unguarded sleeping one. They leave before he wakes up. I think they do this a couple of times before he finally catches them (maybe because they try to stroke his hair or something in a fit of softness). At first he's like, "oh my apologies, please don't hesitate to wake me should this happen again" before he puts together the look on Durge's face and realizes they've been watching him sleep and tried to like, touch his hair. He considers this a success because they could've killed him a whole bunch of times and didn't and they seem to be developing some sort of feelings towards him. He resolutely does not acknowledge the existence of any things he could possibly be feeling about this. Not at all.

Gortash keeps a large fancy estate in the city, Durge has a guest room there - it starts out as just an extra room but as they spend more time there Gortash starts to customize it more to their liking. He also moves their room to be next to his once he realizes that they're staying over more often, blaming a maid for knocking over a candle and causing fire damage in their old room when they ask why it was moved.

I think one night they have to have at least one really stupid caper they pulled off while extremely drunk that neither of them will talk about - as an example, they got super drunk, decided that since they were so good at heists they should do more of them, broke into some patriars estate, and stole a ton of fancy liquor. They also stole the bust of some guy from the entryway and staggered up the stairs to escape out the window of the daughter of the house's dressing room. Anyway, they woke up the next morning on the floor of Gortash's bedroom, extremely hungover and both of them (and the bust they stole) were wearing fancy little fascinator hats they can't remember but must have stolen out of the dressing room. They try to laugh at each other but gortash just ends up violently throwing up in a trash bin while durge lies on the floor with their eyes squeezed shut because the room won't stop spinning. They refuse to speak of this and will adamantly deny it ever happened if asked. Durge absolutely killed sceleritas while trying to force him into a stupid hat. The exact series of events might need some workshopping, but the core idea is some extremely stupid adventure the two of them had together that neither would ever admit to but is also a cherished memory for both of them.

Gortash's gauntlets (before he had the netherstone) used a series of capacitors and a setup akin to a self winding watch to generate an electric charge that he could attack people with. He designed them himself.

Vesper finds these gauntlets fascinating. When they first meet in person, he shows them off and discusses their construction and it's the first thing about him that they find impressive and intriguing.

As a gift, Gortash gave Vesper a set of sharpened rings designed after his gauntlets.

Vesper actually helped Gortash with some of the designs for the steel watch, looking at the plans and making suggestions - they were especially helpful when it came to the magical portions of the construct.

I think the closest the Urge ever comes to forcing Vesper to kill Gortash isn't when they first meet or during sex. It's one day when they're waiting for some spy's report, so they're sitting around in his room. He's tinkering with something at his workbench, and they're sitting at a desk working on a spell. They realize they need certain special inks for the transcription and look up to see them in the desk's little shelving unit and then they look closer and realize the desk is stocked with all the things a wizard needs - inks, chalks, paper, magical components. And this is the desk they always sit at when they're here and need to do some work. And Gortash has stocked it as a wizard's desk. He's made it their desk. And he's working at his workbench and they're working at their desk together in companionable silence. It's domestic, almost. And that's when the urge hits, with just absolutely crushing intensity, and they turn on gortash. Jokes on them, he's into that shit. After some back and forth between them (the level of explicitness is up to you! Or me, if I can get my act together and write this!), Vesper more or less jumps out the window and spends the next couple of days cutting a bloody swathe through baldur’s gate. When they finally return to him, gortash just asks them if they enjoyed their little vacation. After that, even when recreating much the same scene, the urge never comes on as strongly again (they don't know it at the time but this is the first time they've managed to throw off Bhaal's yoke when he really wanted them to kill someone. He never pushed that hard again with gortash because he's afraid of the consequences, though he still does push them to kill him a little bit).

Gortash gave durge a number of gifts over their acquaintance, both practical and fantastic: jewelry, enchanted items, clothes, shoes, books, any and everything you can imagine. He loves seeing them using his gifts, carrying or wearing something he gave them, because it helps mark them as his. He spends absolutely lavishly on them, buying them beautiful and fancy clothes for them to wear when they're in his house or out with him in public. He also buys them more practical gifts, well-fitting boots, weapons, armor, all of it enchanted and worth a small fortune.

On some of his gifts to Durge, he encodes messages for them in their cypher. They say things like "For my dearest assassin" and "To the sorrow of all" on a weapon and "pari pasu" (Latin for with equal step) and "I've always liked to play with fire", plus any number of other things.

Gortash has a thing for Durge wearing his clothes. One cold morning durge throws on his black coat when they get out of bed to check something and seeing them wearing nothing but his coat is such a thing for him that he ditches all their plans for the day to spend the day in bed with them.

Gortash has a number of affairs, to help his star rise in the upper city. He may use them to make durge jealous, but they are ultimately people to be used and discarded. He doesn't care what they do, because they're tools. Durge is his. His partner. And that's why he doesn't share.