#source: modernincorrectlotrhobbit

[sariahsue]

Sabrina: Gosh, I'm such an idiot.

Sabrina:

Sabrina: *glancing at Chloe*

Chloe: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, you'll be waiting a long time.

[haisuri]

jinyoung: you need to eat healthier.

yugyeom: no.

jinyoung: the last person who didn’t eat healthier after i told them to died.

yugyeom: oh my god.

jinyoung: in a plane crash.

yugyeom: that sounds unrelated.

jinyoung: i crashed the plane. do not disobey me.

[ravenerdhogwartsincorrectquotes]

H/R: Ugh, I am so full.

Slytherin: Then stop eating

H/R, stuffing chocolate in their mouth: but it's so good

[incorrect-ritchieverse]

Watson: You have scurvy. You need to eat healthier, Holmes.

Holmes: No.

Watson: Eat your veggies.

Holmes: No.

Watson: The last person who didn't eat healthier after i told them to, died.

Holmes: Oh my god.

Watson: Drowned in a sinking boat.

Holmes: That sounds unrelated.

Watson: I sank the boat. Do not disobey me.

[letsstartafamilywellinvitewelove]

Will: I mean, there’s literally nothing that proves that anything is real! Like, it’s real to us because we experience it, but it’s literally not real! Nothing is real!

Gilan: *beaming and giving him a big thumbs up*

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Leara Rose-blade, tired of the Blades vs. Greybeards back and forth BS: Can’t we just take a propeller and nuke Alduin?

[godsofhumanity]

Nari: FIGHT ME!

Hel, standing behind him with a giant sword, softly shaking her head an mouthing: Do not.

[incorrect-musketeers]

Treville: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?

D’Artagnan: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.

Porthos: Something illegal.

Athos: Accept my fate.

Aramis: I would message ten people saying that if they didn't forward the message to 10 other people, I would die tomorrow.

Treville: Wait, What?!

D’Artagnan: That’s fucking awesome, can I change my answer?

[purghhappenings]

Corazon: Doffy used to be so nice.

Doflamingo: I try to walk the line of chaotic neutral.

Law: yeah, and then you fucking fell off it.

[incorrectpineapplepartyquotes]

Lisalee: So, you're a wizard?

Talia: Yes.

Lisalee: You can do magic?

Talia: Yes.

[Lisalee pulls a card from behind Talia's ear]

Lisalee: Now who's the real wizard?

Talia:

[godsofhumanity]

Horus: If the multiverse theory is true, then there's a universe where it isn't.

Thoth: The multiverse theory doesn't cover paradoxical situations.

Horus: Except in the universe where it does.

Sobek: I'm having an aneurysm.

[incorrect-musketeers]

Bedtime At The Garrison

Porthos: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed, and he’s really ugly!

Aramis, from the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

[incorrect-musketeers]

D’Artagnan: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I’m falling asleep already.

D’Artagnan: “Cowards”, on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun, short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic

[incorrect-musketeers]

Porthos: Will there be sausage rolls?

Junior priest, sobbing: Th-there..

Porthos: Mate! The Cardinals’ funeral! Will. There. Be. Sausage rolls?!

[incorrectpineapplepartyquotes]

Can you do me the decency of listening to me for five seconds so I can say ‘I told you so’ later?

S’illes, probably

[incorrectpineapplepartyquotes]

Thortharn, accusingly: You're lying! You lie!

Adran: No, I don't! I mean, I do, but not about this!