#source dead boy detectives

[incorrect-omgcp-frogs]

Whiskey: I'm gonna tell you something 'cause I think you really need to hear it. You should go fuck yourself.

[deadboyquotes]

Edwin: If I got send back to Hell, would you miss me?

Charles: It’s cute you think Hell can get you out of this friendship.

[multifandomconfusion]

Charles, praying: I need someone who won’t run away. Maybe send an angel, the nicest angel you have.

Meanwhile Edwin: *crawling his ass up the stairs of hell, covered in blood, mumbling to himself hysterically*

[starcrossedstarfishes]

Crystal: You don't think I can fight because I'm a woman!

Charles: I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress! For what it's worth, I don't think Edwin could fight in that dress either.

Edwin: Perhaps not, but I would be radiant.

[jack-enbyfold]

"Oh, the Dead Girl Detectives would probably be dating already. They have it together."

Clearly you have never experienced the homoerotic-yet-still-platonic nature of being a lesbian that's best mates with a "straight" girl

[lesbicosmos]

edwin: you're better than books, charles

charles: let's not say things we don't mean, my love

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I know realistically what actually happened is probably that Esther just wanted Monty to ingratiate himself into the group and Monty himself just decided to start flirting with Edwin of his own volition, which is funny enough on its own, but I really do think sometimes about Esther creating human Monty as specifically a honeypot for her revenge plan, because that leaves us with two more hilarious options - either Esther instructed him to flirt specifically with Edwin (which means she, much like everyone else in this damn town, clocked him in about two seconds but like. when he wasn’t even doing anything particularly telling lmao), or she crafted him to be attractive to any of the three he happened to bump into first (which implies that Esther is certain that all three of them are into guys from that same brief encounter) and I honestly don’t know which is funnier.

Again, realistically I know it’s the first but the last one makes me cackle because it’s literally just

Esther, waving her hand dismissively: “Okay now go bump into whoever and lay on the charm I’ve got an evil mushroom to grow”

Monty, already packing his astrology books: “on it boss” 🫡

[incorrect-inkwell-quotes]

Edwin and Charles: *about to kiss*  Niko: Edwin, Charles! Are you two coming or… *opens door  and sees that Edwin and Charles were about to kiss* Oh. You’re being gay. Good job. Carry on!

[avatar-aaang]

Crystal is such a fantastic character bc shes missing her memories and one of the first things she does is try to be mean to Charles, who is just so delighted by her anyway, and when she realizes that she might have been disliked before, she kinda of just starts over.

and she starts off being by being so kind by demanding they help a girl half way around the world, and they oblige. and then! she wipes the girl's memory of the house so she'll never have to suffer the nightmares the way Crystal does.

she's working through some shit, but every time she comes out the other side having tried to be a better person and trying to help her friends and correct mistakes.

and when she finds out who she is? she is horrified by what she sees and wants nothing more than to get away from that. and she still thinks she's a horrible person bc of what she's done and how her parents react to her calling them. she doesn't realize that you're not your past actions, and just bc she was awful then does not mean she has to continue to be that way.

she wants away from charles and edwin and niko bc she doesn't want them to know her like that. even tho they've never known her like that, and they never will, bc Crystal has changed so much as her time as an amnesiac and she is constantly trying to be a better person.

anyway stan Crystal, she wants to be kind, and her journey from being a bitch to being That Bitch is so fantastic, I can't wait to see what she does next

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Cat King: All right, listen! I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder. *Makes a seductive face*

Edwin: *continues to stare at him sternly*

Cat King:...This is kind of an off-day for me. This doesn't normally happen.

[incorrect-omgcp-frogs]

Chowder: [to Chad] And I am gonna leave before I say something mean. Like pointing out that you're so self-centered that your astronomically huge ego can be seen from outer space.

[deadboyquotes]

Niko: ❤️💓💞💛💘💙💓💕💖💓💛❤️💞❣️💚💕💓💝❤️💘💖💗💓💞💕💝💗💖❤️💘💗💛❣️💖💕💙💘💞💛💗💚💛💖💘

Crystal: How the fuck did you say that out loud?

[starcrossedstarfishes]

Edwin *hanging a picture on the wall*: Am I straight?

Charles: ...no, Edwin. You're not.

Edwin *rolls eyes* The picture, Charles. Is the picture straight?

Charles *looks at picture of him kissing Edwin at their wedding*: No.

[skylie-spiderlillis]

WTF.

WTF WTF WTF.

THIS SHOW CANNOT BE CANCELLED.

IT HAS BECOME MY LIFE THIS LAST FEW MONTHS.

NETFLIX I SM GOING TO CHOP OFF SOME HEADS.

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF?????????

BUT THE SIGNS.

THERE WERE SO MANY SIGNS.

WHAT???????

[lesbicosmos]

edwin: *holds up spoon* do not breathe a word of this to anyone. not even crystal.

charles: are you threatening me with a spoon?

[incorrect-losers]

Stan: Grab the blue book, it should be down and to the left

Eddie: Is that your left or my left?

Stan:

Stan: We have the same left!