#sorry thats a really weird thing to post after a goodbye post but this is just so fucking funny

[banj0possum]

What if i want to bite them (all characters), like. Its love bites <3 like not hard enough to bleed hut enough to leave a mark for a while. Like i love them so much i just cant help it! I would kiss the bite marks after in hopes to make them not hurt as much <3

-🩷

Darling Gives Them Love Bites <333

My OCs x GN! Reader

Heres a short post from an old request as a little snack before the yan gang!!

CW: biting ofc, nsfw jumpscares sprinkled in, tooth decaying fluff

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Adrian is a bit confused and weirded out at first, like why are you biting thats gross youre gross wait why are you stopping you have to bite his other shoulder or else its not symmetrical and itll feel weird come back !!

he needs to get used to it gradually, but once it gets to the point you leave marks on his skin, he's asking for a lil bite every time you two say goodbye so he can have a memento of you

he cums in his pants if you lick the bite oh my god please do it again he begs of you

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Brandon thinks it's a game and bites you back, picking you up and throwing you up in the air. You activated some kind of trigger in him that made him go full excited golden retriever.

He bites you back, kissing the area over and over again as revenge

He probably bites more than you to be honest, he's always wanted to bite but held back in case you were uncomfy with it, but now that he knows you're cool with it he's going ham.

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Valeth is cooing over you, little duckling bites!! so cute!!!

He praises your bite marks, pointing out the parts that hurt saying things like "If you tried, you could definitely break skin! Good job my duckling!"

Thinks your little teeth are cute, especially your canines, he loves comparing it to his tusks.

He allows, no, encourages to let you nibble on his hand or arm

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The horde doesnt let you, kisses are ok, but biting ? no no no

not because they dont like it, they just dont want you putting your mouth on their literally rotten skin

plus they associate biting with eat so thats a bit of a problem

but my oh my they love kisses, give them a bit and maybe just maybe theyd let you nibble a little bit.

dont let them do it back to you especially ribs, they have super sharp teeth that can break bone if they wanted

but like you might be into that so idk man

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Wolfie thinks youre being aggressive before you assure him its how you express love, then he starts to do it back or lick you.

It's more of him casually putting a part of your body in his mouth protectively, he doesnt wanna hurt his mate ;-;

he still prefers licks and cuddles tho, anything that involves cuddles are ok for him!!

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Doriks cummin buckets im sorry

are you marking him as yours ? please do it some more please! maybe on his ear? arm? dick? chest?

hes all yours !!!

he offers to bite you back, itll eventually turn into very intense sex that ends with the both of you covered head to toe in bite marks

he wants round 2

use it as a reward and hes doing whatever you ask with the speed of a sports car

appears right next to you, neck exposed, waiting eagerly for another bite

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kalva is confused but laughs and bites you back, its a little painful because of the beak but he tries his best to be gentle.

he sees it as you trying to preen him and swoons over your 'attempt'

he preens you in order to teach how its really done! its mostly just an excuse to love on you <3

hes very ticklish so expect a flurry of giddly hoots and chirps from him whenever you nibble on him

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jasper is crying sobbing rolling on the floor rn

BITE HIM ON THE BECK PLEASE BITE HIM ON THE N-

he wants to roleplay with you being a vampire and him being your mortal soulmate

lil guy a bit freaky like that <3

moans so loud when you bite him, he has to apologize

euheheh eghghhh hes so crazy for you and your love bites

doesn't wanna bite back because skin on teeth is not a good sensation for him, but he'll cover your face in kisses to return the favor

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The vampires are cooing, swooning, absolutely simping for you

our little mortal is biting us so cute soc ute!!!!

get ready for never ending teasing and kissing

they point out the marks you leave and talk about how much better it would be if you were a vampire like them!

they fake terror over your bites, oh nooo a cute little human is biting me !! so so spooky !!

please let them bite you back

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Baron is short circuiting

ohmy oh oh my oh yomhyo-

thank you.

he has to process what just happened for a bit

tries to forget about it but he cant help but want another one when he gets a glimpse of your teeth when you talk or smile at him

stays up and imagines your mouth all over his skin leaving teeth marks everywhere

stayed up that night pumping his cock when he remembers you biting your lip that one time

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Caspian makes a big deal out of it

hes literally morticia in the addams family movie

last night you were unhinged, you were like some desperate howling demon, you frightened me

do it again

no please were are you going do it again!!!

"misbehaves" so you can bite him again as punishment

oops! i splashed you with water! you might have to bite me again~

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Hallow is yanking his fabric back and scolds you, what if you choked? he'd be worried sick!

gets you a chew fidget instead

doesnt quite understand love bites

please explain to him why eating him means you love him

maybe its because you think hes delicious? awwee thank you! youre delicious too i suppose !

coos over you as he holds you close, thank you for the bite honeypie!!

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Ashvan is squealing over how cute it was!!

blushes whenever you do, like very very flustered, his eyes might be covered by soft fur but you can almost see the redness on his face

his ears flatten as he tries to calm his frantically wagging tail

he gets much shyer whenever you smile at him or when you bite into your food during meals

he has to timidly ask for another bite with his index fingers touching together

please give him more biteys!!

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Axel tells you to bite harder

try it! hes tough! lets see how strong that jaw of yours is!

*frantically hiding his growing erection*

calls you little kitten or..rat

teases you by poking at your mouth with his finger to get you to bite

he loves it, he thinks its the cutest thing whenever you do it, especially when youre just subconsciously nibbling on him as if he was a chew toy

he makes sure his hands are always washed for you, no more touching dirty stuff carelessly, he gotta take care of himself for you!!

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King Alistair is pushing you away and coldly telling you no, but once you two are alone in your shared chambers, away from prying eyes, he softly tells you to continue

of course he loves you, he wants you to be free to express yourself, but please dont do it when people are watching

he has a reputation to uphold! not because he's shy and insecure about showing pda in public or anything...

bites back, definitely bites back!! out of all the ocs i think he bites the most next to Brandon

loves playing predator and prey whenever you two are fooling around together, if he ever leaves marks, hes kissing them softly to let you know he means no harm, he just got a bit carried away because youre just so sweet~!

if you leave marks, hes covering it up in his clothes, but occasionally he heads to he mirror, pulls away the fabric covering your lovebite, and smiles

argaragrgagrggrgargagrg

[jiminsblondehair]

│ 𝓳. jungkook ￤obsessed.

a/n: OMGEE im so nervous to post this bc it took a lot of work nd idk if I like itttt😞😞 lmk if there’s anything that needs fixing but here it isss!!

⋆ ࣪.✩ got this idea from a pin I saw on pinterest and thought I should write abt it!! first time writing so ntm..anyway enjoyy ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི

it was a warm summer night with a light breeze, the sun was setting and there was a golden hue in your apartment, your vanity was cluttered with all your makeup. from primers and foundation to blushes and lash sets— you reapply your 5th layer of summer fridays pink sugar lip balm, and with one last good look in the mirror, you decide your ready to show your best friend taehyung your final look. “do I look okay?” you question, not so sure if the pink summer dress your wearing looked so good.

“you look stunning,” tae knew you had little self esteem so he had been trying to get it up by saying compliments and such. “now do a little twirl f’me doll.” he muttered, you spun around in a circle, your dress sparkling in the sun and your hair flowing. “got all your stuff?” taehyung asked, you checked your purse and grinned at him.

“yup! im all good” you replied, hugging him one more time before you say goodbye and go on your date.

“call me when its done, ‘kay?” taehyung whispered, stroking your hair while swaying you side by side.

you nod in response, glancing at the clock that read 6:30 on your bedroom wall. “see you tae,” you squeezed him a little before letting go, with one last glimpse of your best friend you close your apartment door and head out.

the bell of the cafe door rang as you entered, you step in looking around for a pair of ebony eyes and thick jet black hair, you notice him waving his hand signaling for you to come over.

“glad you made it safe,” jungkook breathed out, his muscles relaxing as you embrace him in a hug. “thought you wouldn’t have made it”

“none sense! i wouldn’t bail out on you..” you mumble the last few words, but if jungkook wasn’t standing as close to you he wouldn’t have heard you. but he did.

you both sit down at the table and conversate for an hour or so, talking about how different life has been for the both of you since you’ve both started college. you may not have noticed but he had been studying your features while you were talking, like how you mess with your earrings when you talk—or how you reapply your lip balm after every 5 minutes. every little thing you did he noticed it all.

you both decide it was getting late and it was time for you to start heading back to your apartment, you knew you should call taehyung but considering the time..you didn’t want to disturb him. so here you are, having jungkook walk you home at 8 o’clock at night.

jungkook walks you up the stairs in front of your apartment, signaling that your guy’s date is over.

“thank you for today” you smiled, remembering the conversations you both had.

“anytime,”

you both study at each others features, you notice he does the triangle method which makes you giggle.

“what? do i have something on my face?”

“no,” you smile “you just look cute”

and without thinking you give him a peck on lips, while he stands there in awe.

you grin, “good night koo” and with one swift move you enter your apartment building.

the next day you wake up to see you got a text from jungkook earlier in the morning.

kook 🎀: hey! i really enjoyed last night, i was wondering if you would wanna go on another date w me to the movies some time? i know it seems sudden but there’s just something about you…hope that didn’t sound too weird but I would really wanna get to know you more.

sent 5:15

you smile to your self and replied to him,

me: hey koo, sorry for replying late..I slept in😣 but I would love to go on another date with you!! just let me know the time and when :)

read 7:45

kook 🎀 hearted this message.

deep down you know what has gotten him obsessed… you’ve seen ratings about your summer fridays lip balm having men be addicted so thats the main reason why you bought it. later on in the day you go on the website and write a review,

‘kissed a boy the other day with this on and now he’s obsessed with me so like… run don’t walk’

©️ jiminsblondehair | TUMBLR

[mylostloversbookmarks]

thank you!! My request is: Joel x female reader. Age gap. They met after Joel and Ellie arrived in Jackson, they started to know each other, at first they kept it a bit like a secret but then, when things started to get more serious, they didn’t hide anymore. Things got so serious that after a while (not immediately, like a year or two) Joel asked reader to move in with him and Ellie.

Ellie loves reader and she’s more than happy that Joel found his special someone. Could you add a scene where reader is with Ellie one afternoon and they see Joel with a woman, acting really intimate, which connects to reader’s thoughts about Joel being a bit weird the previous days. She thinks he’s cheating on her, also because the woman is really close and intimate to Joel in that situation.

She wants to leave before he sees her but Joel notices her presence, tries to talk to her but doesn’t deny the accusations at first, (so a lot of angst!!!) which makes reader think she lost the love of her life.

They don’t talk for a few days and try to ignore each other when possible, despite living together. Ellie is sad and suffers from this situation. Joel loves reader too much to ruin things so he puts his pride aside and tries talking to her. They eventually talk it through, he was not cheating (choose whatever the alternative to that is!!) maybe a little fluff at the end or also something else? You choose!

also, if you have any rules or have triggers about something that I requested please let me know and change the story how you need to.

And I’m extremely sorry if this request is too long and detailed.

thank you!!!

Guiding Lights - a Joel Miller one shot.

Characters - Joel Miller x Reader

Word Count - 8.7K

Warnings/Tags - 18+ only Minors dni. Typical canon language, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, Alcohol consumption, , Sus!Joel, Soft!Joel, insecurities, suspected cheating, no actual cheating, I think thats all?

A/N - @addictedtotlou This is my first ever fic request and I cannot thank you enough for sending it through, and also for dropping into my inbox to let me know it was you that requested it! I'm sorry it took so long but I hope you enjoy <3

Feedback, Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!

You often find yourself reminiscing on the day you met Joel and Ellie, it feels like forever ago now, though it has only really been a few years.

The winters in Wyoming were never kind, but that year, Mother Nature had been particularly cruel. Strong winds and vicious snow blizzards reduced visibility to almost nothing. You had heard those posted to the lookout stations talking over lunches and complaining about how bad the conditions were getting.

So in a bid to keep the good folks of Jackson safe, Tommy and Maria decided to double the number of patrols around the commune in an attempt to keep an eye on the horizon for any potential threats who could be hiding just beyond their sights.

Needless to say, it had been a rather slow work day in the Tipsy Bison, with the usual counting and re-counting of stock, checking on the latest brew of beers and whisky, ensuring everything was going as planned, and cleaning of the already immaculate bar, all finished in record time.

Expecting the usual after-work rush that never came, you sent the other two bar staff over to the mess hall to see if the kitchen needed any help with preparations for tomorrow's meals.

As the two said their goodbyes over their shoulders, you heard one of them mumble a shocked "What the hell?"

With your interest piqued, you stepped out from behind the old wooden bar and crossed the floor to the large square windows at the front of the building. Your eyes followed their gaze and watched as the afternoon patrol crew filed through the large wooden and steel-clad gates of the commune.

You waved as a few of your regulars passed you, a few tipping the brims of their ten-gallon hats. You quickly realised what had drawn your colleagues' attention when your eyes landed on two new faces in the middle of the crew.

The first newcomer was a man; he wore a thick brown winter coat and jeans that looked like they could stand up on their own, and you could see the toe of his work boot was mended with what looked to be duck tape. His eyes were sharp and focused, darting around him as if in search of someone or something.

Instantly, he gave you the impression of someone who had been on the road for quite some time. Having been there yourself, you felt a surge of sympathy for him, but you were still wary of him, not knowing why he had been brought inside the walls.

The second was a girl, whom you assumed to be the man's daughter; she was small and looked to be in her early teens. Strands of her tawny brown hair peek out from under her winter hat. big, bright eyes, taking in her surroundings in wonder, while the man stared straight ahead. The girl seemed to be unaware that all eyes were on her, from those who stood on the street to others standing in shop windows, just as you were.

You followed the other barstaff out to the porch and offered the girl a small smile as your eyes met, she quickly looked away without returning it. It wasn't often that Jackson took in new people, opting to keep off the radar to try and protect what you had here. Maria was on this afternoon's patrol and had no doubt made the call to bring the two into the commune.

As the crew passed, heading further into the small town, you saw the man's head snap to the left, and he opened his mouth.

"Tommy!" he shouted, his deep, booming voice ringing in the silence. In an instant, he was off his horse and running in the direction of the scaffolding that had been put up to repair some of the damage to a neighbouring building.

You watched on in stunned silence as the two men ran towards each other, unsure of what the newcomers intentions were, but before you had made it down the two steps of the porch, the man wrapped his arms around Tommy and began laughing, disbelief colouring the sound.

The two men stood embracing each other, both breathless from laughter, and you knew immediately who the newcomer was. This was Joel, Tommy's brother.

Tommy had spoken of him before; usually after one too many whiskies at the bar, he would open up to you about how guilty he felt about staying off the radio. He would say things like, "It's only a matter of time before he comes looking for me, Y/N; what am I supposed to do? Turn him away?" and "One thing about my big bother is that he's persistent."

You had always offered words of understanding and comfort and almost always cut him off and sent him home after those conversations, knowing that no good could come from him drinking any more alcohol.

Part of being the town's main bar tender was also being a listening ear whenever someone needed it, but with Tommy, it was different. He and Maria had become your closest friends, and you would always be there when either of them needed you, working or not.

You always got the sense that something had happened between the two men that couldn't be fixed. As you watched the brothers reunite, you realised that the thought couldn't be further from the truth.

Maria caught your eye as she dismounted from her horse and jerked her head to the side, beseeching you to join her. You nodded at her and crossed the road to where she was standing, hitching her horse to one of the many posts dotted around town.

"Maria, is that who I think it is?" You asked her quietly, not wanting to draw attention to the conversation.

"Yeah, it is," she spat. "I don't know how the hell he found us out here." She continued, venom dripping from each word.

You knew that Maria had never actually met Joel, but from the stories Tommy had told you both in the early years, she knew what he was capable of and decided then and there that she did not like him. You, on the other hand, had a more objective outlook on things.

You were not involved in the same way Maria was, of course; she and Tommy were married after all, so you could understand her reservations when he opened up about his past with his brother and the things they had done and what they thought they needed to do to survive.

The problem was, Maria had been in Jackson longer than you and Tommy and therefore had less of an idea what a brutal hellscape it was outside the walls. Maria wasn't stupid; she knew that it was dangerous, but it had been so long since she had to live like that, to really be surviving, not trusting anyone you met along the way, not knowing where your next meal was coming from, or if you were going to make it to worry about the next meal.

You, on the other hand, had lived that life for longer than you would like to remember, and though you didn't have innocent blood on your hands, they were far from clean. So you could sympathise with Tommy and the demons that clearly kept him up at night. So you felt the hatred that Maria has for Joel was a little unfounded.

"I'm happy he found him again," you admitted, unable to help the undercurrent meant by your works. What you really wanted to say was "This should have happened a long time ago if you had let him respond to Joel's calls on the radio" Meeting her narrowed eyes, you saw a flash of anger in them. No doubt you will get an earful for that comment later.

You knew what she was going to say: that Joel wasn't going to fit in here in Jackson, that Tommy was better off without him, and that you should keep a safe distance from him. But she didn't have the opportunity, as Tommy was already walking towards the two of you.

Joel had walked back to where the girl waited on her horse; a worried, almost disappointed expression crossed her face as he gestured towards Tommy. You watched as he gently helped her down from the animal, making sure she was steady on her feet before the pair followed behind Tommy.

"Y/N, Maria, ah… this is my big brother, Joel," Tommy announced, his tone a mixture of pride and nervousness.

"Hey, it's good to finally meet you; I've heard a lot about you." You smiled kindly at him; he nodded once in response, his expression guarded.

"I'm Ellie! It's nice to meet you," the girl chirps cheerily before shoving her elbow into Joel's ribs. "Joel, say hello," she all but hissed at him, which makes you chuckle.

"It's lovely to meet you, Ellie." You beam.

"It's, uh, good to meet you," he managed quietly.

Two years later...

A loud knock at your front door startles you. Your hand flies to your heart as you curse under your breath. Who the hell would be calling on you at this hour of the morning?

You pad down the hallway and open the door to find Joel standing there, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. He seemed keyed up, and your heart drops to your stomach; something must have happened.

"Hey, is everything okay? Did something happen? Is Ellie alright?" You squeaked at him, the panic rising in your chest causing your voice to go up an octave.

"Yes, darlin, everything's fine, Ellie's good; don't worry; I just need to talk to you about something, that's all," he assured you in his thick Texas drawl.

"Everything's good… but you need to talk to me about something at 6 a.m." You questioned him dubiously, arching an eyebrow at him.

"I promise everything is fine; I have morning patrol and was hoping I could catch you before I head out," Joel explains, the ghost of a smile playing on his plump lips.

"Ah, okay, that makes sense, sorry; c'mon, handsome." You laugh as you open the door for him to enter and close it after him.

He follows you down the hall into the small kitchen, lingering in the doorway and studying you. You can feel his eyes roaming your figure as you pour him a cup of coffee. Strong, black, no sugar—just the way he likes it.

Turning with the mug in your hand, you let out a breathy laugh at the sight of him. He looked wired, far too awake for this hour of the morning. Was he sweating?

"Joel, baby, are you alright?" You ask curiously as you hand him his coffee and take your usual seat at the end of the dining table.

"Yeah, I just…I wanna ask you something but I don't know how" he confessed sheepishly, his large hand coming to scratch nervously at the back of his neck.

"I'd like to think you know me well enough by now to know you can ask me anything." You said it with a smile, hoping to calm whatever was causing his nerves.

"Yeah, no, I know, I just don't want to freak you out; there's no pressure, and I understa-"

"Just spit it out, Joel." You interrupt him. In the two years you had been with Joel, you had never seen him struggle for words with you, and it was making you anxious.

"Okay," he huffs out, pulling the dining room chair out so he could sit facing you. He takes a long drink of coffee before continuing, and the suspense is killing you.

"So I was speaking to Ellie, and you know we both love you; hell, sometimes I think she likes you more than she likes me!" He chuckles fondly: "Look, we've been seeing each other for a while, and now that everyone knows, I think it would be good, you know, f-for Ellie if she had a…I dunno, like a mother figure on a more permanent basis." The words were falling out of his mouth like an avalanche. He desperately hoped he was making sense, but you still weren't understanding.

"Permenant basis? What do you mean?" You ask, confusion clear on your face, making him laugh again.

"Yeah, like on an everyday basis," he enphasises. Urging you to grasp the meaning of his words.

"Okay, um, I mean, yeah, I think that's a great idea. I love that kid. I will tell her about making an effort to hang out every day." You promise him sincerely and are touched that he thinks of you as a mother figure to his daughter.

"That's not really what I was thinking, baby; I mean, on a permanent basis, like you would live in the same house." He husks softly, his eyes searching your face for your reaction, and his heart sinks to his boots as he watches your brows knit together.

"Did you have another fight?" You ask him, reaching your hand up to stroke the side of his face, your thumb lingering on the heart-shaped patch of his beard where the hair refused to grow. "Ellie's always more than welcome to stay here when she likes, but Joel, I don't think her moving in here is the answer."

He takes your hand from his face and holds it between both of his; he huffs all the air from his lungs and slowly takes another deep breath. Straightening in his chair, he locks eyes with you.

"I knew this would be an easy ask, but I didn't imagine you making it this hard on me," he says exasperatedly, huffing out another loud laugh.

"I don't understand." Confusion layers your tone, and you are sure your face is doing the same.

"I'm not asking if Ellie can move in with you; I'm asking if… if you would like to move in with us Y/N" He admits. His brown eyes are soft and lingering on your face, and his thumb is tracing small circles on your wrist.

This was not the conversation you were expecting to have over your morning coffee; your brain was barely functioning, and your mind started to race. The last two years of your life, with Joel and Ellie passing by before you in a blur of colours and memories.

You had sympathised with Joel's struggles to adjust to life in Jackson, and given that you worked in the only bar in town, he quickly became a familiar face. You ignored Maria's warnings to stay away from him; after all, she didn't know him from Adam, and you felt it was unfair to judge someone on the things they had done as the world fell apart overnight.

So, slowly but surely, you found yourself at work, hoping each night that he would stop in so you could get to know him better, and he always did. Always opting to sit at the bar, despite there being plenty of more comfortable booths to sit at.

At first, it was always you who initiated the conversation, asking him how his day was, how the patrol had gone, and how Ellie was fitting in, and you listened tentatively to what little information he would give you. Until eventually, after a couple of months of the same routine, he started to open up to you.

He would ask you how you were, how your shift had been, if you had a good day off, and on occasion he would let slip that he "missed you yesterday" when he called in for a drink on his way home from patrol, only to be disappointed that you were nowhere to be found.

It made you giddy; he was on your mind constantly; it made you feel like there was a swarm of butterflies in your belly, but you thought it was only harmless flirting as there was a considerable age gap between you both, with Joel being in his fifties and you in your early thirties, you didn't think Joel would be interested in a relationship with you.

But how wrong you were! After a couple of weeks of late-night drinks after the bar had officially closed, Joel had bitten the bullet and asked you out, though he asked if you wouldn't mind keeping it between the two of you as he didn't know how Ellie would react to him seeing someone and you gladly accepted.

You understood that Ellie was and always would be his first priority, and you admired his unwavering dedication to her, especially after finding out that Ellie wasn't his blood relative; he had taken her on as "cargo," as he affectionately put it. As a way to get one step closer to finding his brother, but she had worked her way under his skin, much like she did with everyone she met. It was so difficult not to like her. With her quick wit and foul mouth, she never failed to make you laugh. She was definitely his daughter, blood or no blood.

The thought of Ellie brings your mind back to the question at hand: should you move in with them? Was now the right time? Was Ellie even okay about this? Did she even know Joel had asked you? Each question raced through your mind until your mouth found one it could form words around.

"What does Ellie think of this?" You asked Joel intently, reading his face for any signs of worry or panic at your question, but there were none to be found.

"I mentioned to Ellie a few months ago that I thought it would be nice if you were around all the time, and she agreed, and then I sat her down yesterday and told her that I was thinking of asking you today, and she was all for it. I don't want you to feel pressured in any way, though; it's okay if it's too soon; you can say no, and we won't be offended in the slightest!" Joel assures you, his voice is low and genuine.

He lifts his right hand to the side of your face and gently brushes the hair out of your eyes, his calloused thumb stroking back and forth as you lean into his touch, allowing your eyes to fall closed. Taking a deep breath, you throw caution to the wind.

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath, your voice drops to a whisper. "Yes, I'll move in."

Suddenly your body was moving, and not by its own volition; your eyes were still closed, so your brain was having trouble registering what was happening. When your eyes flashed open in surprise, you were caught up in Joel's arms, spinning around your small kitchen with your feet no longer planted on the floor.

"Joel!" You squeal through breathy laughter, placing your hands on his broad shoulders to steady yourself.

"Are you sure, baby?" He asks, his eyes sparkling with delight.

"Yes, I'm sure handsome, but I have one condition!" You warn him, arching a fluffy brow.

"Name your price, sweetheart," he smirks at you through the whiskers of his full moustache.

"I get to tell Ellie," You beam back at him, your hand rests on the back of his neck, fingers scractching lightly at the curls that have formed there.

"I think she'd like that," he ghosts against your lips, lightly brushing his nose against your own until you lean up and crush your mouth to his.

Three years later...

It has been a hectic few weeks for the community in Jackson, working through yet another savage winter. You were just through the middle of it, and the end was in sight. The snow storms were not as frequent and the winds were not as wild.

Work has been keeping you busy. You are still the main bartender at the Tipsy Bison, but much to Joel's dismay, you have also picked up a few patrol shifts to lend a hand to Tommy as a few of the older patrol crew stepped back into other work duties due to ill health.

It has felt like months since you and Joel have spent any quality time together, despite living in the same house and working in the same community. Whenever you were both home, he seemed distant and preoccupied, as if there was somewhere else he wanted to be. You tried to engage him in conversation, but he would only give you short answers before retreating into his own thoughts.

At first, you thought that he might just be stressed out from work duty or the weather, as bad as it has been, but as the days turned into weeks, you started to feel a growing sense of unease. You have never seen Joel act this way before, not with you at least, and you don't know what to do.

You miss his closeness; the late-night conversations at the bar while you finished up your shift—all of that has stopped, and no matter how many hours you spent trying to figure out why, you always came up blank.

So needless to say, you were looking forward to spending some quality time with Ellie this evening to help take your mind off your worries. You had stood under the shower for longer than you intended, just enjoying how the steaming water rolled down your tense frame.

With a sigh, you shut off the water and wrapped yourself in your towel, headed into your bedroom to get dressed, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude that the house had heating, an especially rare commodity with the world's current condition. Jackson really was a paradise of sorts.

"Ellie! C'mon kiddo, we're going to be late for the movie!," You shout from the bottom of the stairs, shrugging into your winter jacket.

Movie night Fridays have quickly become a tradition for you and Ellie, especially now that the winter has rolled back around and it's too cold to spend much time outdoors.

"Alright, I'm coming; Jesus, keep your hair on!" Ellie mutters as she makes her way down the stairs, where you wait for her.

"We only have 20 minutes before the film starts, and I know you're going to want to get snacks, so we've got to make tracks." You laugh as she rolls her eyes at you.

"Alright Mom," she mocks, sarcasm dripping from each word.

"You're such a little shit, you know that, right?" You tell her fondly with a warm smile.

"I know, it's all part of my charm," she grins.

"Ah, I see, and does Dina know all about your charm?" You playfully jab her ribs with your elbow, wagging your brows up and down.

"Ugh, you're so annoying; you know that, right?" Ellie counters, always so quick-witted.

"I know, it's all part of my charm," You repeat her words back to her, earning another eye roll.

The two of you leave the house and trudge out into the snow; thankfully, the blizzard has calmed, and now fat, fluffy flakes of snow flurry around you like something from a movie scene.

As brutal as they can be, you have never seen anything more beautiful than Jackson in the winter. It was like something you would see on a postcard of a ski village in the French Alps, all timber buildings and string lights illuminating the small town.

On Friday nights, the mess hall was turned into a makeshift movie theatre for the youth that lived in the commune, offering them some respite from the grind of daily life. It was complete with candy, drinks, and, of course, pop corn.

At first, Ellie hadn't seemed all that interested in going, not knowing many kids her age, but after a lot of coaxing and the promise that if she didn't like it, she didn't have to go again or even stay for the full movie, Though she quickly found her feet with Dina, the rest was really history.

"Where's Joel tonight? I thought he was going to come with us." Ellie asked curiously.

"Oh shit, I meant to tell you earlier; he said Tommy asked him to cover the evening patrol tonight, so he can't make it." You explained, not really sure why Tommy needed him to cover after already doing the afternoon patrol, but it must have been important, so you didn't give it a second thought.

You and Ellie walk in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the peaceful walk through town. You were about to ask her how she was getting on with her work detail when she came to a standstill.

"I thought you said Joel was on patrol tonight?" she demanded, her face contorting in confusion.

"Uh yeah, Ellie, I just told you that." You confirm, your own confusion mirroring hers.

"Then what the fuck is he doing in the bar?" She fumes, gesturing behind you to the window of the Tipsy Bison.

Sure enough, there he sits at the bar with Jenna. Joel was nursing a whisky, and she was playfully peeling back the homemade label of her beer bottle. They are sitting in the corner booth by the window, leaning towards each other to the point where their heads are far too close to be appropriate.

In that moment, your breathing stopped. Your stomach sank to the floor, and an overwhelming sense of panic and dread began to claw viciously from your chest up your throat, resting heavy on your tongue.

"Are you okay?" Ellie asks nervously, not really sure what to do or say in this situation. It could be nothing, but even to her, it definitely looked like something.

"Y-yeah, I'm good. Ellie, why don't you go on down to the mess hall, and I'll meet you there in a few?" You tell her more than ask, your eyes never leaving the window.

"No way fuck that I'm staying with you!" she demands, her eyes growing wet around her long lashes.

"No, Ellie, I need to talk to Joel; I will catch up with you in a few, okay?" You meet her eyes and nod in the direction of the mess hall. She only nods in response; your tone is final as she turns on her heel and storms towards the makeshift movie theatre.

What the fuck is happening right now? You trusted Joel; it never bothered you when the ladies in Jackson would bat their eyes at him or when their glances lingered a little too long. You took it as a compliment; hell, if you were them, you would stare too.

Your relationship was built on a foundation of honesty and trust from the very beginning. You have told him things you have never shared with another living soul, and he has done the same with you. Never in your life did you think you would be lucky enough to share a connection with someone the way you have with Joel, let alone after the world had ended.

And now here you stand in the middle of town, watching the man you love cosy up with another woman in plain sight, not even having the decency to try and hide it from you.

You stand there for another few minutes, watching how he leans across the table to talk to her, laughing and caressing his arm in response. It sets fire to your blood, and you can feel it moving like molten lava in your veins.

You're moving before you realise you have made the decision to do so, your feet carrying you furiously forward, up to the short creaking steps and through the entrance to the bar, and then there you are, looming over their table. Your eyes bore holes into his skull. He jumps in his seat and scrambles frantically to hide the notebook that was sitting open on the table between them. You didn't pay it a second glance.

"I didn't realise the bar needed patrolling this evening," you state pointedly at him, ignoring Jenna, who is doing everything she can to avoid eye contact with you, fidgeting in her seat, and clambering to get her things together. Grabbing her coat and scarf from beside her.

"Hey darlin, I thought you and Ellie were heading to the movies." He asks, his voice rough with his attempts to hide his nerves.

"We were on our way there when she saw this cosy scene from the street." You gesture with your hand towards the table, your voice icy as you let your hand drop to your side with an audible slap, which made Jenna flinch.

"I think I'm going to head out…" Jenna murmurs in a small, quiet voice, still avoiding your gaze.

"That is a wise decision" You agreed without taking your eyes of Joel.

She throws Joel a cryptic glance before clambering out of her seat and quickly making her way to the door, shooting Joel an apologetic glance over her shoulder, which only fuels the rage bubbling up in your throat.

"What the fuck?" You growl at him, doing your best to keep your voice under control. The last thing you wanted was to cause a scene. Especially not at your workplace, regardless of whether you were on shift or not.

"What's wrong with you?" he asks, genuinely confused by your anger.

"Please tell me you're joking," you seethe.

"What? I can't have a drink with a friend." He scoffs, incredulous.

"Seriously Joel? Since when have you had to lie about working to have a drink with a friend?"

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?" he countered, avoiding the question.

"No, I really don't think I am. How could you do this? How could you do this in front of Ellie?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Joel huffs back at you, his eyes never leaving yours.

Your eyes begin to prick with anger fuelled tears; the feeling of betrayal rips through you, leaving you exposed to his hard gaze. You can't take any more of this. It feels like the room is closing in around you. That you will suffocate if you don't leave right now. You look at him once more, and the fact that he hasn't denied it or assured you that this is anything other than what you fear it to be ,allows your world to crumble around you.

"Alright," you manage in a broken whisper that comes out as a choked sob.

With that, you turn and bolt for the door, desperately gasping for air but unable to get enough to fill your lungs. You have to brace yourself on the railing of the porch. You can feel his eyes on you as he watches you leave from where he sits frozen at the table, but he makes no move to follow after you.

Willing your legs to move, you push off the railing and slowly make your way to the mess hall, slipping in just as the movie is starting. You can see Ellie is sitting in the middle of the crowded room, and she has saved you a seat beside her.

You make your way to the restroom, taking in your reflection for the first time that evening. Your face is red and splotchy from crying, your eyes puffy, and your lips swollen from your teeth worrying at them. With shaking hands, you reach out to turn the tap on, splashing the icy cold water over your face as you try to make sense of what has just unfolded.

You knew Jenna; she is one of the few people trained in blacksmithing in Jackson, but you had never been especially close with her. She would frequent the bar and chat with you about her work day and vice versa, but that was the extent of your relationship with her, and you have never seen Joel interact with her. It just didn't make sense; why would he throw everything away for a fling with someone who lives in the same commune? Did he really think you wouldn't find out?

You do your best to shake the thoughts from your head, focused on spending the rest of the evening with Ellie, you will do everything in your power to shelter her from this. So with a deep breath, you put a smile on your face and left the restroom, smiling and waving politely at familiar faces as you made your way to your seat, stopping by the makeshift concession stand to grab Ellie some popcorn and a soda on your way.

"Hey, I've got you some snacks, kiddo." You whisper to her, not wanting to interrupt the film.

"Thanks, are you okay?" She murmered with a small smile. Taking the snacks from your outstretched hands.

"Yes, of course everything's fine; there was a mix-up with the patrols, so Joel didn't have to work tonight after all." You reassured her softly.

It cut you to the bone to have to lie to her to cover up his indiscretion because you didn't want her to think any less of him. He is her world, and she is his, and you wouldn't be the one to jeopardise that.

It cut you to the bone to have to lie to her to cover up his indiscretion because you didn't want her to think any less of him. He is her world, and she is his, and you wouldn't be the one to jeopardise that.

You weren't really sure what movie was even playing tonight, so lost in your thoughts that it was just a blurry hum in the background. Ellie had to nudge your shoulder several times to tell you that the movie had was over. Glancing around to find a steady stream of people filing out of the mess hall.

"Sorry, Ellie, I'm just a bit distracted tonight; work has been so hectic recently, and I have so much to do when I open tomorrow." You do your best to laugh it off. Hoping that she will let it go and that she wasn't being as observant tonight as she usually is. The girl misses nothing.

"It's okay, the film was a repeat anyway," she shrugs, not pressing you on the matter, though you know all too well that the questions will come eventually.

"Shall we head home? It sounds like it's getting pretty rough out there," you noted, as another howl of wind wipped around the wooden building.

"Sounds good; I want to have a shower before Joel uses all the hot water again," she ribs in a peel of bright laughter that sends warmth radiating through your now hollow chest.

When you reach the house, you find it in darkness. Joel hasn't made it home yet, and although you are beyond angry, you can't help but worry about him. Of course he can look after himself, but it isn't like him to be out this late if he wasn't on patrol.

The seething voice in the back of your head reminds you that he could be with her. You try to push those thoughts out of your head, but they linger like a dark cloud, casting a grim shadow over what was your perfect - or as perfect as it could be - life.

"I'm going for a shower and then head to bed, you okay?" Ellie asks, once again pulling you from your thoughts.

"Yeah, of course, kiddo, no worries. Do you need anything? You want some tea?" You offer as you head to the stove and place a pot of water on to boil.

"No, I'm good. Thanks though, g'night!" She calls over her shoulder, and then you are alone in the small kitchen.

"Night kiddo," You call quietly to her as you reach for the herbal tea blend that you and Ellie grew in your little garden last summer.

As you wait for the water to boil, your mind starts to race with worry and anxiety. You can't help but think of all the possible scenarios that could be keeping Joel out this late, and the thought of him being with another woman makes you want to break things. You have tried to push those thoughts out of your head so many times this evening, but they keep creeping back.

A few hours later, you are sitting in one of the armchairs in the living room, desperately fighting to keep your eyes open, but in the end you give up, gently placing your book on the coffee table and removing the blanket from your lap. You look at the clock on the wall, and it's just after 3am.

You pad into the kitchen and leave your mug in the sink, too tired to wash it now; that's tomorrow's problem. Heading up the creaky stairs to your bedroom and crawling into the cold sheets. It feels wrong going to bed without Joel by your side, but he is god knows where right now, so you lean over, turn the bedside lamp off, and sink into a restless, uneasy sleep.

You wake to the wintery morning sunshine seeping through your bedroom window. Instinctively, you run your hand across Joel's side of the bed; it's unmade but cold, so he did come home last night, but he was up before you, which is unusual.

Instinctively, you run your hand across Joel's side of the bed; it's unmade but cold, so he did come home last night, but he was up before you, which is unusual.

Slowly sitting up in bed, you stretch your tired bones, sore from your restless few hours of sleep, and swing your legs out of bed. It's only 7 a.m.; you don't usually open the bar until midday, so you have plenty of time to get ready.

You slink down the stairs, careful not to wake Ellie as you do so. Heading into the kitchen mid-yawn, you stop in your tracks as you find Joel standing at the stove, hovering over a pot of boiling water on the closest ring to him.

"Mornin'," he husks without turning; he must have heard you yawning with his good ear to the doorway.

You ignore him, knowing full well that it's petty and childish and ultimately will not resolve anything, but with the way he behaved last night, you feel the cold shoulder is justified.

You both continue with your morning rituals in silence. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but you didn't know where to begin broaching the subject, and the more you stewed over it, the more you felt he should be the one to open the conversation with an explanation, but if you were being totally honest with yourself, you were beginning to worry that you may have jumped to conclusions.

But when you thought about the way they were huddled together, her hand on his arm, and the way she tipped her head back in laughter at each thing he said, the pit in your stomach grew. As did the silence between you.

Things went on like this for days, with the two of you skirting around each other and avoiding eye contact. Only speaking to each other when absolutely necessary, like dinner times, and giving each other your work duties for the week.

You could see the effect this was having on Ellie; she has been especially quiet the last few days, so once Joel leaves for work, you sit with her on the couch and try to get her to open up.

"Ellie, is everything okay?" you ask, trying to keep your tone light.

"I don't know. You and Joel have been acting weird lately, and it's making me tense." She shrugs, not meeting your gaze.

You take a deep breath, knowing that you can't keep avoiding the issue. "Yeah, we've been having some problems. But it's nothing you need to worry about, kiddo."

"It doesn't seem like nothing," she retorts. "You guys haven't spoken in days. It's not like you."

"I know, Ellie. I just don't know how to fix it." You sigh.

"Maybe you could start by talking to him," she suggests.

"It's not that simple, Ellie. There's a lot going on." You shake your head.

"Well, maybe it would help if you talked to me about it," she offers.

"Thanks, Ellie. But it's not something I can really discuss with you. Just know that Joel and I are working through some things and we'll get through it." You smile softly at her, grateful for her kindness.

She nods, not looking convinced but not pressing the issue. You sit in silence for a moment before she stands up. "I'm gonna head out for a bit. Need to clear my head."

"Okay, kiddo. Be safe," you say, watching her leave.

You're left alone in the quiet house, the weight of your problems still heavy on your shoulders. You know Ellie is right; you need to talk to Joel. But the thought of confronting him is daunting, and you don't know if you want to hear what he has to say.

What if he doesn't want you anymore? What if he's not happy and hasn't been for a while?

You decide that enough is enough. After work this evening, you are going to speak to him and attempt to clear the air, hear his side of the story, and try to move forward, if not for the sake of your relationship but for Ellie. It's not fair to have this weighing on her shoulders; it's not her fault, and you hate seeing her unhappy, and you know that Joel will feel the same about his if nothing else.

The workday drags on uneventfully; the only thing standing out was that Jenna had come to the bar for the first time since that evening. She gave you a small smile, and you returned it with a polite nod. You were at work after all and took it upon yourself to remain as professional as possible.

Jenna approaches the bar and orders her usual, which you pour for her without issue, though it makes your skin itchy to be this close to her.

"Have you spoken to Joel yet?" she asks quietly. Wiping her fingertips across the bartop.

You stare at her blankly; the audacity of this woman boggles your mind.

"No," you respond curtly.

"Okay, well, when you do, come and find me. We'll have a lot to discuss." She states matter-of-factly, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips.

Before you have the chance to give her a piece of your mind, she is walking away from the bar, her long auburn hair swishing to her lower back. What the fuck is her problem?

You try to get through the rest of your day without dwelling on the conversation you had with Jenna, focusing more on the impending conversation you are going to have with Joel this evening. Thinking about what you were going to say to him, how you were going to explain how you felt, and how hurt you have been over the last few days.

You lock up the bar and head towards home for the evening, taking a little more time than you usually would, feet dragging, dreading the fight that would likely ensue once you had spoken to him. You tell yourself you will keep a level head, but you know deep down your temper would not allow that to happen if he gave you some bullshit excuse.

As you approach the small, snow-covered pathway that leads to the back porch of your home, you pause there, unable to bring yourself to go inside. So you take a seat on the second step and watch the flurries of fluffy snow as they make their way through the air to join the pillowy blanket that covers everything in sight.

You sit there for what feels like hours. Jackson was always quiet; it needed to be in order to keep what you have here safe, but as you sit in the darkness, the only light coming from the dim porch light and the light seeping through the thin linen curtains from the living room, it feels eerily silent and still. The sound of the backdoor creaking open made you jump. The heavy footsteps that followed, however, were all too familiar.

"You gonna stay out here all night?" He asked quietly, his voice low and soft.

"No, I was just… well, I don't really know what I was doing." You offer a small laugh, void of any humour.

Joel takes a few steps and groans loudly as he lowers himself to join you where you sit. He is quiet for a few moments until he finally speaks.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the other night and how it must have looked. I'm sorry for not explaining to you then and there what it was; I didn't want to tell you, and I still don't really. But I promise you on my life that it is not what you think it is, Darlin," he says softly, regret heavy in his tone.

"I don't understand Joel; I just want to understand what the fuck has been going on," you pleaded, hating how desperate your voice sounded.

"I know, baby, and I'm going to tell you. I just didn't want to ruin the surprise. I also didn't want to tell you without speaking to Ellie first, but I spoke to her at dinner, and now she understands." He assures you, his hand coming up to brush your cold cheek for the first time in days, and it was impossible not to lean into the heat of his palm.

"Okay, so now everyone knows but me, why were you all cozied up with Jenna? Why did you lie to me about going to work?" You challenged him, removing your face from his touch.

"Hold on," he huffs, shifting his weight to one hip as he fishes for something in his back pocket before continuing. "It will make more sense once you see this, or I hope it will at least," he offers as he hands you a beaten-up, leather-bound note book.

"What is this?" You ask him, you remember seeing it on the table in the bar the other night.

"Would you just open it?" he sighs, rubbing his hand through his patchy whiskers nervously.

You do as he says and open the notebook, and what you find takes you aback. The notebook is filled almost front to back with little sketches of rings and little notes about different metals and gems in his familar handwriting and another that you don't recognize.

"Wh-what is this?" You repeat, stunned. So many thoughts racing through your mind and you are beggining to realise that you have completely misread the situaiton the other night.

"I know I was going to have to tell you about it eventually, you know for your size and all but I was planning to do that after I asked you…but then with the other night I wasn't sure what to say and I was kind of pissed off that you where angry at me, I didn't stop to think that you weren't in on the secret and what it must have looked like to you," Joel's hand came to rest on your knee squeezing reassuringly as he explained the circumstances that lead to what you saw in the bar.

"I have been meeting up with Jenna over the last few weeks, she's the only blacksmith in Jackson that used to make jewelry…specifically engagement rings," he paused allowing his words to sink in before finishing his explination.

"We've been trying to figure out how to make you one, what metals mix well from what I have found on supply runs, whether to hold off if I could find a stone or a gem, or if we could make it without one,"

You stare at him, a mix of astonishment and disbelief washing over you. The pieces start to fall into place, and you realize the truth behind Joel's actions. The anger and hurt that had consumed you begin to melt away, replaced by a flood of emotions, the most promanent being embarrassment.

"You were planning to… ask me?" you stutter, your voice barely a whisper. The weight of your accusation hangs heavy in the air as you struggle to comprehend the situation.

"Yeah, I was. I've been saving up for months, looking for the right opportunity, and I wanted it to be a surprise. Jenna's been helping me because she's skilled at crafting intricate pieces. I wanted to make something special for you, something that would last a lifetime." Joel nods, his eyes filled with sincerity.

Tears well up in your eyes as the realization of your mistake dawns upon you. You reach for Joel's hand, intertwining your fingers with his. "Oh, Joel, I'm so sorry," you say, your voice trembling. "I jumped to conclusions without knowing the whole story. I never thought…I feel like such a peice of shit, I'm so sorry"

"It's okay, darlin'. I should've communicated better, explained everything to you beforehand. I understand why you were upset." He squeezes your hand gently, his thumb caressing your knuckles.

"But why did you lie about going to work?" you inquire, still wanting to grasp every detail.

"We thought it would be best if we kept it a secret until it was ready. And I didn't want you to suspect anything. I wanted the proposal to be a surprise, and I was afraid if I told you I was hanging out with Jenna, you'd figure it out before I had the chance." He shrugged.

"Joel, I can't believe you're doing this. You've put so much thought and effort into making something special for us. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. I have been so awful to you over the last few days," You let out a shaky breath, your heart filled with a strange mix of relief, shame and joy.

A soft smile graces Joel's lips as he brushes a strand of hair from your face. "Don't say that, sweetheart. You deserve the world, and I want to give it to you. I love you more than anything, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Tears stream down your face now, but they're tears of happiness. You lean in and rest your head on Joel's shoulder, feeling the warmth of his presence envelop you. The weight of the misunderstanding lifts, leaving behind a newfound sense of trust and appreciation.

"I love you too, Joel," you whisper, your voice filled with sincerity. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch and for overreacting. I should have known you'd never do anything to hurt me."

"Hey, we all make mistakes, darlin'. It wouldn't be the first time I've got pissed at you for something I misunderstood now is it?." he chuckles quietly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

"I guess no ones perfect," you echo his laughter leaning into him further.

As you sit together on the porch steps, surrounded by the beauty of the snowfall, you realize that the snow isn't the only thing that's melting. The icy barriers that had formed between you and Joel are slowly thawing away, leaving behind a comfortable quiet.

"So, now that the cats out of the bag, will you…?" he asks his deep voice thick with emotion.

"Will I what handsome?" You look up at him teasing, your eyes twinkling.

A playful grin tugs at the corners of Joel's mouth as he meets your gaze. "Will you marry me, my beautiful, stubborn, and occasionally misunderstood partner in crime?" he asks, his voice laced with a mixture of nervousness and hope.

Your heart skips a beat at his words, and a surge of excitement courses through you. You pretend to ponder his question, a mischievous glint in your eyes. "Well, I don't know, Joel. I mean, after all that's happened, can I really trust you with my heart?" you tease, a smile playing on your lips.

Joel feigns a look of hurt, placing a hand dramatically over his heart. "Oh, come on now. I've endured snowball fights, kitchen mishaps, you and Ellie ganging up on me and even your questionable taste in movies. If that's not true love, I don't know what is."

Laughter bubbles up from within you, and you lean in closer, pressing your forehead against his. "Joel, you are my love and my rock. Of course, I'll marry you," you say, your voice filled with so much love.

In that peaceful moment, wrapped in the calm of the snowfall and the safety of his strong arms, you realize that there will be silly arguments, misunderstandings and cold shoulders, but you will always find your way back to each other. You let out a sigh of contentment as Joel presses silent kisses against your head, happy to sit here forever wrapped up in him.

Knowing that Joel and Ellie will forever be your guiding lights.

[the-6th-harbringer]

PLEASE READ

Hey. So. It's been a. while.

trigger warning: referenced suicide

So, if you haven't noticed, I literally evaporated for two weeks straight without any clarification on why or sign of actually being alive, unlike my last two week disappearance. Unfortunately, this unexpected evaporation does not come with a big "ooh more trauma more lore and angst for scara" thing.

This just happens to be my goodbye post.

I know, it's weird and kind of rude for me to dip for two weeks and then reappear like "hey fuckers im QUITTING hAHaA". Buuuut not only was my dad being annoying and hogging my laptop, I also barely have had time to myself for the past weeks. New family members have been introduced into my life, so now I have double the amount of little siblings to look after. (from 3 to 6. dont ask "how" thats a personal thing). juggling that with school, social stuff, fucking exams which are coming up in 3 months of my gOD, and other even more personal demons that I've been battling, its been. a lot.

SO, to make sure I do not pull the same move as Scaramouche did on the last day of his sakurarealm torture(iykyk), I'm taking a leave from tumblr. Don't know how long I'll be gone, don't know if I'll ever be back, but I didn't just wanna quit without at least telling you guys so you don't think I've been murdered or something.

On a more serious note, thank you all for all of the support and love you've given Scara and all my other blogs. While some of you are a handful, the majority of you are actually the sweetest and silliest community of people I've ever known. I hope you all have excellent lives.

Now, as for what happens to Scara, we're shoving him in another coma. which is entirely at the mercy of Wanderer's mod, because they're my friend outside of tumblr too and i trust that they'll use this as a major angst moment. Put an F for Cyrille and Scara guys

NOW: a few honorable mentions and thank yous:

@wandering-hat-guy : im not writing a goodbye type thing for you because i will literally talk to you tomorrow, but thank you for being an awesome brother-sibling figure. you are the wanderer to my scara :]

@an-active-rabbit : Thank you for being an extremely fun person to rp with. The puppets and the heart is a rp that wont leave my mind for a while yet. Many hugs for you! And I wont be forgetting Mikaven anytime soon >:3

@cyrille-leclair-de-fontaine : AUGH budddyyy im sorry to do this to you. But thank you for creating Cyrille in the first place. Cyscara my beloveds, they will always hold a place in my heart. Maybe one day they'll actually get somewhere. Im also willing to be your friend outside of tumblr if you wish because you're cool >:D

@dishonxsty : For also being a goofy little goober. My favorite rp with you was definitely the ouppy's and scara, and also kudos to you for making like 17 bajillion blogs and being able to manage them all at once somehow like???? go king go

Annnd @monsieur-neuvillette , who seems random because I havent rped with them in literally a century, but thank you for being the one to indirectly help me get over my fears of starting a rp blog AND being the inspo for me to start rping on tumblr in the first place. hugs for you too

Well, alls said that's been said, so I think I'll just end it off here, because it's been like 10 minutes since I started typing this and I am eepy.

Goodbye everyone except wandermod, and thank you for sticking with me through Scara's really out of pocket journey.

(PS: Rest in peace @the-tainted-blossom . I miss you everyday.)

[mikeyswayy]

hey, uh. hi. yeah. sorry i dont know why im doing this. im pretty sure youre dead. god i hope you arent. maybe this is just the digital form of visiting someones grave eh? yeah, i dunno. its lonely without you. keep wanting to tag you in things, god i fucking wish i could still tag you in things. i was a little scared to send this one, even just to write it, but id rather you be alive and proving me a fool for writing this than dead. maybe with my luck the universe’ll wanna make me look stupid so bad that ur actually fine. i miss you. ive been waiting the past few days you know that? waiting to be wrong waiting for you to come back waiting for this to be like the other times, but its been four days now. i just. i hope you found peace man, i hope if you are dead its better than anything ever was back here, you deserve it.

while im here i figure i may as well catch you up on everything goin on, not anywhere near as good as getting to freak out about it on here with you but i think its the best im gonna get. so basically a couple days ago frank posted five random dates in the shape of the mcr logo and that was. jesus frank. the dates are 11/13, 2/16, 3/7, 2/24, and 12/6. i now live in fear. and then today the official mcr account posted a picture with a background that looks reminiscent of paper kingdom, oh god, 150 peices of,, ash? confetti?? falling down over large red letters that spell out a backwards k and then cr. so basically. going insane over if this is mcr5 or not. fuck youll never get to see mcr5 will you? fucking scary, feels wrong to get excited about it without you. i hope youre okay, i really fucking hope youre okay and all this is for nothing i hope youre in the hospital because soneone found you before it was too late and you just cant have your phone because of it, i hope you didnt even do anything and youre just staying off tumblr just anything, please, fuck man you have to be okay alright?? im scared, i really miss you, i know we werent that close or even close at all but you mean do much to me alright i need you i need you to be fine. i hope you see this. oh, on the topic of not being close, i uh. never learned your real name. i made a small patch with your username and put it in the left breast pocket of my coat, i hope thats alright. wanted you close to me and all

i think thats it, so uh. this is goodbye i suppose. i didnt get to say goodbye before. saw your post 2 hours late. it hurts, i try not to get too caught up in the what ifs though. its hard. so goodbye friend, until next time. i hope to see you again. i love you.

I'm not dead!

I'm sorry I scared you like really badly but I'm okay

What happened was I like almost didn't but I didn't go deep enough to do any real harm to myself

I cut a little but not the full way so I'm fine but if I had went all the way I would probably be gone bc no one did like come in my room for a while after

I've just been staying off of here and not really posting because I didn't really think anyone would really care if I was dead or not

But I know you do

Also I really appreciate you saying what's been happening with MCR thank u

I know abt everything but still u telling me is really sweet, thank you

The patch is really nice, thank you

I feel like doing something similar since u did that and I probably scared the living shit out of you so yeah something with ur user maybe idk is that weird idk

I love you too man

I'm really sorry for scaring you I just didn't know what to do that day and I'm sorry for not really posting anything after that 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[grossillygirl]

I'm genuinely just considering quitting all this nsfw stuff. As much as I enjoy being pervy on here with mutuals i think I'm starting to feel exhausted. I get the urge to just delete everything but I'd feel bad just leaving like that. (Also I feel this weird dread about how many people have seen my dick) What's your opinion?

Honestly i think that if you want to leave you should, and you can always just come back if you change your mind. Listen to your body and your mind when it tells you things like this, be open with urself about why you feel certain ways and then make the ultimate decision to maybe say goodbye to moots/ give close ones a social media or just leave if ur not close with anyone its upto you! I understand, i felt very exhausted with my old blog, and a little with this one. After i deactivate this and take a break, i know my new blog will not make me feel the way you described cus ill have better boundaries and stuff :)

Also you could always make a new blog and reblog and post stuff without tags or anything and like block ppl who follow u or something idk so u can express urself and not worry about anyone, but thats just an option ofcourse

I will say dont ignore your brain or body when it tells you things like this cus by listening yo it, ur showing urself so much respect and love just by stepping back. Good luck anon and i really wish you well🫶🏽 im sorry if my sdvice sucked or sounded like lecture-y i dont mean toooooo

[stinkysarai]

i love MUSIC so jeres me assigning some songs from my playlist to the main lok characters and main atla characters ‘cause i’m bored and scrolling on tiktok is making me go stupid with No explanation maybe idk. i am assigning songs purely out of my gut instinct and the twitch in my fingers

Also highlighting songs in blue because i am a messy person and have like BLOBS of text so and the artist name in [__] square brackets

(also lets ignore tje fact that most of the songs are from adrianne lenker, or jeff buckley, or alex g, or mitski… !!! i THINK i might have favorites… umm idk tho…)

—

ATLA

aang: the frost [mitski] , message [alex g] , also things to do [alex g] . not much to be said here im bad at analyzing poor little avatar buddy aang im so sorry my friend!!!

katara: a small dash of when memories snow [mitski] and a drop of buffalo replaced [mitski] and abbey [mitski]

sokka: also abbey [mitski] + DEF when memories snow [mitski] . lover you should’ve come over [jeff buckley] and forget her [jeff buckley] maybe? weird fishes / arpeggi [radiohead] too

toph: half return [adrianne lenker] . class of 2013 [mitski] audiotree version sorry! a small drop of crack baby [mitski] thats maybe a stretch though! and rules [alex g] probs a stretch too

zuko: also half return [adrianne lenker], dragon eyes [adrianne lenker] as well. advice [alex g] and some of eternal life [jeff buckley] either version (road or classic) but it doesn’t really matter. and candy [alex g]

might do azula, suki, plus some other characters some other time when i’m not lazy to death 😞

—

LOK

korra: eternal life [jeff buckley], maybe i love me after you [mitski], abbey [mitski] brand new city [mitski], i dont like my mind [mitski], i’m your man [mitski], 16 mirrors [alex g]

mako: forget her [jeff buckley], somewhat the deal [mitski], things to do [alex g], when memories snow [mitski], pretend [alex g] , a bit of a stretch but maybe there’s nothing left for you [mitski]

asami: once more to see you [mitski] goodluck, babe! [chappell roan], buffalo replaced [mitski], anything [adrianne lenker], a drop of not a lot, just forever [adrianne lenker]

bolin: crack baby [mitski], i don’t smoke [mitski] (classic or audiotree version it doesnt really matta), last goodbye [jeff buckley], weird fishes / arpeggi [radiohead], break [alex g], message [alex g], i want you [mitski], a little bit of abbey [mitski] (what is it with so many characters being compatible with this song even in a small way??!), liquid smooth [mitski], and brand new city [mitski]

idk who else to do for lok idk

—

these are so ooc probably hellp? just wanted to assign random songs to them and i have like. a total of like about fivr artist in my playlist with 2+ songs made by them… alex g mitski jeff buckley radiohead fiona apple... what the sigma!!! but idrc i ddi this for fun and honestly this was much better than scrolling on tiktok for hours on end and slso i got to listen to cool songs! and also i thought about cheracters a lot and to be more specific my favorite characters a lot and like. i looove my favorite characters!!! guess which ones they are! dont its sokka and bolin idk if its obvious aha! 😞 ok im tyoing a lot posting this and goigntnos eleep (lie im gonan read ao3 and write fics ill never post and them scroll on tumblr for lok ant atla content)

[roys-face-on-things]

WAIT WAIT WAIT ONE LAST POST I WAS LOOKING THROUGH THE BLOG

[kiveruu]

this is my favorite panel in the entirety of the no.6 manga, my explaination/attempt at a character study under the cut

first: context.

shion trying his damn hardest to negotiate with nezumi. he doesnt care where he has to go because he would go to the ends of the earth and back for nezumi. nezumi says that shion should stay back because he's the kind of person that values security unlike nez. nezumi sees that shion has a large range of emotions in different circumstances but seemingly doesn't realize that both examples he gives (shion being "ruthless" in the correctional facility, and now him crying) are because of HIM. while yes shion does overall show more outward emotions than nez, most of what nez has seen from him is because shion cares about him.

at this point shion realizes that his negotiation attempts arent getting him anywhere and this is absolutely his last ditch effort to stay with nez somehow someway. he tells him very directly that he's begging him not to leave him and that a world without nezumi means nothing to him. hes trying to get nez to understand just how important he is to shion's life, so that maybe, just maybe nez will reconsider leaving. nezumi reacts by teasing shion as he usually does but with the softest expression on his face, seriously there is never another point in the manga that he looks this sincere and theres so much love in his eyes. but he knows he has to leave for shion's sake. because he wants shion to be happy and not have to worry about anything anymore, especially not because of him.

and then!! the iconic Kiss.. and then we get to the panel that inspired this whole post. shion initially is shocked that nez kisses him, but he realizes that theres a good chance this would be the last time he would see him. and hes still upset about nez leaving (you can see the tears in his eyes and the conflict that must be going thru his head) but he knows he's gonna have to come to terms with nez leaving because hes just as stubborn as shion is.

so FINALLY talking about this panel itself, the first thing that always strikes me is shion holding nezumi's arm, its as if thats his final non-verbal communication saying "please, dont go" and even tho he knows that wont happen theres part of him that just really hopes it will. he doesn't want to let go of nez, physically or otherwise. he doesnt want this moment to end but he knows it has to. nezumi holding shion's head/neck(?) is such an obvious indicator of just how much he loves shion. its as if he himself doesnt want to leave shion either, but he's convinced himself that its for the best. but just like shion doesnt want to let go of nezumi, nez doesnt wanna let go of him either. presumably hes holding shion with both of his hands, in which case shion is probably holding nez's other arm too. they both have just barely gotten to experience and really process the feelings and love they have for each other and now that they have, they dont want to stop. you cant even see their eyes in this panel but i can practically hear nezumi saying "im sorry" and shion crying. i like to imagine that after this, nezumi held shion close and let him cry on his shoulder for a minute before either of them actually let go. its a bittersweet goodbye.

and then of course the infamous promise of "reunion will come shion" while nez gives him the sweetest most loving soft smile ever. which gives shion the reassurance he needed to feel okay with nez leaving. he knows how serious nezumi is about promises so he knows he'll keep it. its a promise that they'll meet again. and this is probably the most expressive nezumi is in the entire manga. he wants shion to know that he really means it so he stops putting up his usual tough guy front. he needs shion to know he will come back and he will see him again. in a weird roundabout way thats like nez saying "i love you" to shion.

[loousir]

Soulmates {Oikawa Tooru}

Oikawa Tooru x Male Reader Part One

Anime: Haikyuu!!

Warnings: I dont think there is any?

Masterlist | Part Two

AU: Soulmates can have a different way of finding their partner. Yours is after both partners are at least 18, on the youngers birthday, they will swap bodies. They have to share their first of something together in order to return to their respective body. (Ex. Sharing their first kiss, first drink etc.)(If one has already kissed or shared a drink, for example, it wont count as sharing a first) Oikawa's is knowing what their first words to you are.

Originally Posted on February 2, 2021

----------------------------------------------------------

Today was finally your birthday. That meant that you would get to find out who your soulmate was. You were nervous but knew about it so you were prepared. A little.

You were getting dressed to go to school today and thankfully it was the end of the week so you'd have all weekend to find your soulmate. What nice and convenient timing. You did your morning routine before getting changed into your uniform. After pulling up you striped brown pants and adjusting your white jacket, you slipped the red tie around your neck before grabbing your things and heading downstairs.

You said a quick goodbye to your mom after stealing a toaster waffle and your lunch. You slipped on your shoes and headed out to school.

On the way there, you ran into Iwaizumi and Oikawa. You were very good acquaintances but not close enough to consider friends, like hanging at each others houses kind of friends. You and Iwaizumi shared class together but the three of you almost always walked to school together.

"Happy birthday (Y/n)-kun! You're finally 18 right?" Oikawa asked, slinging his arm around your shoulder and leaning on your slightly smaller frame. He poked your cheek gently as you ate, trying to get a reply out of you. "Shittykawa, cant you see he's eating something? Let him chew first." Oikawa pouted slightly at his "nickname" and sighed.

You finished chewing and nodded. "Yeah, I'm 18 today. I'll find out who my soulmate is tomorrow and I really hope it isn't you." You said in a serious tone as the three of you continued walking to Aoba Johsai. Oikawa whined on the way there with Iwaizumi butting in to shut him up.

The trio finally made it to school and went their separate ways, aka you and Iwaizumi in one and Oikawa right next door.

---

The day started and went on normally til lunch.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa usually go to their practice but today they invited you to eat with them. You accepted not exactly knowing why.

"So (Y/n)-kun~ Who do you think is your soulmate?" You shrugged as you ate your bento, glancing up at Oikawa. "You really wanna know?" You asked taking another bite. Oikawa nodded as he ate his own bento. Iwaizumi smirked over to you as he ate his lunch as well. "You should tell him (L/n)-san."

"I hope it turns out to be Kageyama."

Oikawa practically snorted out his drink and stared at you in shock. "You cant be serious?! Him?!" You laughed at the water running down his face and shook your head. You grabbed a napkin you had and wiped the pretty setters face. "Of course not."

Oikawa let out a sigh of relief. "I'd want Daichi to be my soulmate." You said in a dreamy tone as Oikawa choked on his rice. Iwaizumi had nothing today besides laughing at the scene in front of him. Oikawa leaned on his good knee over to you and gripped your shoulders. He shook you gently as he cried, saying something about 'anyone but the wingless crows.'

Iwaizumi pulled him off you after a minute and scolded him. You finished up your bento and checked your phone. There was 40 minutes of lunch left when you looked to the best friends. "So, what did you guys invite me to hang for?" Iwaizumi looked over to you and tilted his head slightly. "Are we not allowed to invite a friend to hang out?"

You leaned back on your hands and closed your eyes, letting your head fall backwards. "You are, it's just, weird. The Cap and vice Cap of the volleyball team invite a lowly art club member to hang out at lunch together. Sounds a bit odd doesnt it?"

Iwaizumi nodded and Oikawa didnt respond. You lifted your head up to see Oikawa a bit of a distance away, surrounded by a flock of girls. "Its your turn to pull him away. I'm gonna go check something." You sighed and stood up.

"Hey, shittykawa." Oikawa instantly turned around at the nickname and his fan girls became upset with you calling him that. "(Y/n)-kun~ You're taking after Iwaizumiii~" He said walking over to you. "And we were supposed to be hanging out." You said acting all coy. "You promised me we would this morning..." You whispered just loud enough for everyone to hear.

The girls were jealous and talking amongst themselves as Oikawa just looking at you, shocked. He had a deep blush covering his cheeks as you folded your hands together in front of you and looked to the ground with a pout. "(Y/n)-kun..." You looked up to him with puppy dog eyes. He suddenly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug.

"(Y/N)-KUN! IM SO SORRY!" He said as if he actually forgot he promised you to hang out. You smiled and giggled, gently prying him off of you. You grabbed his hand and started to walk with him. "C'mon. Let's go back to our spot." You said as you watched the lady flock disperse. Oikawa followed along, apologizing for forgetting a promise he never made.

Once the two of you were alone you sighed and let go of his hand. "Oikawa." He shut up and looked up to you with teary eyes. "You didnt promise me we'd hang out. Its ok." You may be mean to Oikawa but theres something about him that you love. You just cant be mean to him all the time... Ok yes you can but sometimes you want to be nice to him.

Oikawa smiled and pulled you into a hug again. You cautiously hugged back and patted his back. The bell signaling lunch was over rang and the two of you pulled away. "I'll stop by the gym after school to say a quick goodbye." You said grabbing yours and Iwaizumis stuff. Oikawa nodded and grabbed his stuff as well. He had a big smile on his face for some reason but you just brushed it off.

The rest of the day passed by pretty quickly. You had told Iwaizumi about stopping for a quick bye and he said, "Just be prepared for Oikawa." You didnt exactly know what the meant because you always were but before you could ask he had left for practice.

Once you were ready, you head down to the gym and pulled open the door. The lights were off and you furrowed your brows. "I thought there was practice today..." You mumbled to yourself.

Suddenly the lights turned on to show they gym and the volleyball team to be all dressed in nice birthday attire. You only stared shocked at the scene in front of you as the all shouted, "Surprise!" Oikawa appeared in front of your vision with a wide grin on his face and a small gift in his hand.

You blinked a few times and looked up to his eyes before looking to Iwaizumi who was approaching the two of you. "Y-you guys... Did this for me?" You asked, still surprised by what happened. Iwaizumi shrugged and tilted his head to the side saying 'kinda.' "It was Oikawa's idea."

Oikawa smiled and grabbed one of your hands, putting the gift in it. Iwaizumi put a party hat on your head before walking over to a table full of sweets and a cake. "Can I talk to you outside for a second?" You asked Oikawa. He smiled and lead the two of you outside the gym and away from prying ears.

"What did you wanna talk to me about?" You held the gift in your hand and pulled him into a tight hug. He stood tense for a moment before hugging back. "What's this for?" Oikawa asked with a small laugh. You buried your head in his chest and started to tremble slightly. He demeanor changed when he felt his shirt get slightly wet. "H-hey, (Y/n)? Are you ok?"

You nodded and kept hugging him. He hugged back and gently stroked the back of your head. "No ones ever done something like this before. So it's kinda a lot." You said clearly, having calmed down from your previous state. Oikawa laughed and pulled the two of you away to look you in the eyes.

"Really? Well then I'll have to step it up next time!" You smiled up to him softly before sadly looking down to your shoes. "I'm nervous Kawa..." His smile fades away to a sigh. "Me too." You look up to him in confusion. "I... Really hope tomorrow, I'll wake up in your body, Tooru..." He looks to your eyes and he has tears in this.

Dont ruin this moment shittykawa

"Me too."

You look up to him and smile a little. "C'mon, let's go back inside and par-tay a little before it's too late!" Oikawa said with a smile as he dragged you back inside. You saw Iwaizumi standing by a punch bowl with a knowing smirk but you didnt think much of it.

---

Everyone had hung around and "par-tay"-ed till about 7pm. They decided to call it there and start cleaning up. You tried to help but both Oikawa and Iwaizumi stopped you. "Why dont you and Oikawa head back first? The least we can do is clean up."

"But you guys did all this for me, I have to try to help even a little." Iwaizumi put your things over your shoulder and pushed you to an already raring to go Oikawa. "Just head home. Its ok." Oikawa gently grabbed your hand but you stopped and addressed the whole team.

They had paused to look at you and listen. You bowed and thanked them, your bow hiding the tears in your eyes. You stood up straight and smiled to them before going with an impatient Oikawa.

---

The walk to your home was filled with comfortable conversation about the party. "Hey, (Y/n)-kun? Could we have a sleepover at your house?" You looked up to him and tilted your head slightly. "Like the whole team? That's a lot of people and I dont know if my parents would even let me since there away right now-"

"No, not the whole team. Just us." You blushed at what he said and looked away, slightly embarrassed for rambling. "Oh... J-just the two of us?" He nodded and you just shrugged. "I-I guess thats... Ok. I dont think they'll mind." You said rubbing the back of your neck. "Let's goo then!" Oikawa said, dragging you to your house.

Once you two arrived, you unlocked the door and let him in. "Your house is so much bigger on the inside." He said looking around. "Wow thanks." He laughed, "I didnt mean it in a bad way!" You rolled your eyes and walked upstairs to your room thinking, "How the fuck does this dude make me flustered so easily..."

You didnt even realize Oikawa had followed you, thinking he would just stay downstairs for the time being. When you turned around to close the door you jumped at his presence. "I-Im gonna change so you can just hang out downstairs till I'm done." He smiled and gently rubbed the back of his head before asking, "Do you think I could use your shower actually?"

"Oh, yeah, go for it. It's the door behind you." You said pointing over his shoulder. He thanked you as you got him a towel he could use. You closed the door to your room and got changed into some comfy pjs. The shower could be heard through your door but you didnt mind and decided to make yourself comfortable on your bed and watch some tv.

After a few minutes, the shower turned off and after another couple minutes, the door opening to reveal a shirtless Oikawa wearing sweatpants. You looked over only to look away just as fast. Oikawa smirked and jumped into the bed with you. You squeaked a very manly squeak as he hovered over you.

Your eyes looked up to his but couldn't be stopped when they looked at his chest. 'A tattoo?' You looked back up to him and asked, "You have a tattoo? Since when?" He just smiled and shook his head. "Since I was like twelve. Look what it says." He said sitting the two of you up. Oikawa was basically sitting on your lap but you didnt mind.

'You're in the way, stupid trashcan.'

It was written in beautiful cursive. You smiled and tried not to laugh but couldn't help it. Oikawa watched as the love of his life laughed at the first words he ever said to him.

"I said that when we first met! Did you really get it tattooed on your chest?" Oikawa rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Its illegal to get a tattoo when your twelve." You tilted your head slightly. "Then how did you get it?" He looked at you unamused before becoming nervous. This made you nervous too as he laid the both of you down in your bed.

"(Y/n)... Did you study soulmates?" You nodded and asked why. "Theres a chapter about two soulmates having different ways of finding eachother." You nodded again and tried to process the information but he spoke again. "Mine was the first words they say to you are tattooed somewhere on your body."

You looked at him and fully processed everything. It clicked. "Is that why you... Did all this stuff for me over the last year? W-why didn't you say something sooner?" He glanced out the window and seemed nervous again. "Theres a chance that you can actually have a different soulmate than me..." You furrowed your brows and sat up to look at him.

He didnt look at you and just glanced out the window. "What do you mean by that?" He looked over to you and directly in your eyes. "When we both have different ways of meeting our soulmate, theres a chance that you could have a different soulmate even though you're mine."

"That means when we wake up tomorrow... I wouldn't be hugging you, but your soulmate... And... I dont want that."

Oikawa looked away and you just looked at him shocked. "You're so weird out of character." You said leaning down and pulling him into a hug, laying on top of him in the process. "I'm being serious y'know..." You nod and nuzzle your face into his neck.

"I know. I dont want something like that to happen either." He shifted so that he could look at you properly and cupped your face. His eyes held clear care and adoration.

"Let's sleep now, and if I dont wake up to you tomorrow... I'll find you ok?"

--- 2552 Not proof read too well

[starsistertarot]

Hey I saw your account on the explore page and I love the content!! Can you do a request about the GOM, Kuroko, Kagami, Takao being with a s/o that serves in the military and what branch the s/o serves in? I hope this isn’t too much and I totes understand if you don’t answer my request. Have a good day! <3

Thank you so much my lovely, it means a lot when someone enjoys my simp posts ❤

And a headsup to anyone who stumbles across this: I am not familiar with the military (at all), so you can read these with any branch of your choice really lmao-

WARNING: Aomine, Kise and Akashi have more upsetting headcanons- I don't know if that's triggering for someone, but I'd rather be safe than sorry, so avoid them if you're not in the mindset for angst ♡

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Headcanons on how the GOM, Kuroko, Kagami and Takao deals with a S/O that serves in the military.

(Written as if this was S/Os choice. Whether it is obligatory or voluntary, they still wanted to enlist)

Kagami

When you told him that you got accepted, he felt conflicted. He was happy for you, but he was also kind of bummed out.

He'd word-vomit on how much he's going to miss you. He feels awkward about it afterwards, but it's honestly so cute-

So the day before you left, he couldn't sleep. He'd stare at the ceiling all night. But after that, he'd go from a light sleeper to normal again.

He would hug you as if it was the last time he'll ever see you. SO *TIGHT*. The hug would literally make you feel butterflies by how much love is embracing you right now.

Hed be quite distracted the first weeks, as he keeps thinking about your well-being a lot. Examples: Oh I hope they make lots of friends/I hope the food tastes good/I hope they get enough sleep---

Eventually he's normal Kagami again. He is proud and happy for you. He just *knows* that you'd wait for him/allow him to follow his dreams too.

If you had to go off on a dangerous mission, he'd be worried sick about you but also "my s/o is gonna kick everyone's ass"-----

No but seriously he would be pretty worried, but he just knows you're going to be okay.

Kuroko

"That's great, Y/N. I'm so happy for you" *pats your head with a soft smile* OK but he would genuinely be so happy for you, if this is something you've been wanting-

He would be sad to see you go, but he finds your happiness to be more important than his selfish wants and needs.

The night before was fine, the day after you leave will be chaotic. He would lay awake thinking about you and how you're going to adapt- (cute)

His hug will only get stronger the more he realise it will be the last time he hugs you for a while. He'd send you off with a *proud smile but teary eyed*

He is honestly fine the entire time you're gone, once you finally give him an update on your first week there, he'd relax (He'd be more concerned if you hated it though).

I can see his friends comment on how it's weird how calm he is;;; But as said, once he knows you're okay- He has nothing to worry about since he is extremely proud of you.

If you were going off on a dangerous mission, his inner panic button will be *smashed* and he'd physically shake. His friends would have to calm him down, and he honestly needs time to digest-

He'd eventually calm down a bit, but he would be uncharacteristically nervous for a while until he knows you're safe again.

Aomine

OK no but why would the first thing this grumpy bitch says to you is a spicy comment on how hot you'd look in a military uniform-

It's a mix of "thats cool" and him being grumpy that you're leaving him.

If you sleep in bed together, he would definitely notice his personal bodypillow is gone. (He's grumpy because he can't force you into involuntary nap times anymore)

His goodbye hug would honestly be him hugging you *so tight* while pretending to be lowkey about it, and then tear up in the car on his way home. (My boy-) He secretly doesn't want you to worry about him yk-

He is fine the first couple of days, but progressively becomes more of a mess as time goes on.

I think the long-term loneliness is going to fuck him up a bit because of his depression- Just because he's gotten used to being around someone a lot.

If you were going on a dangerous mission, I'd feel he'd be a mix of seeing red and being extremely worried/sad and kind of takes his aggression out on others by being even *grumpier* than usual (my poor baby)

Honestly I believe he'd be a bit of a mess, until he knows you're okay.

Kise

I know Kise tends to be the hyper peacock, (with a darker personality ofc) but in my *personal headcanon* ... which this is; he would strip that part of him completely. He'd look at you with that sad smile, because he secretly hoped you wouldn't get accepted.

And no, it's not because he's a bad boyfriend. He knows that you can either be completely fine or you could risk a lot or even everything. And he knows thats selfish of him, but he cares too much to care if he is-

He'd struggle to sleep the day before and many days after. He just can't stop worrying about you.

His goodbye-hug would involve a lot of tears. He'd hug you till the last possible second and continues to cry as he feels your warmth turn cold.

Would be a mess the first weeks. His *peacock spark* is kind of dead, and he'd stare off into space a lot.

Would eventually get better as time went on, especially if he knows you're doing fine and enjoy it. Still misses you a lot though ♡

If you were going on a dangerous mission, he wouldn't regret his original feelings about how he wanted them to reject you. He doesn't care at that point if you'd get mad at him for even thinking that very thought. He just wants you to be safe *with him*.

Is honestly extremely upset and kinda mad for an unknown amount of time time, even after you make it back. He wishes that he could go back in time and never let you enlist in the first place.

Midorima

Great, the tsundere- No but in all honesty I think he's fine with it. He won't stop you or be grumpy about it but he won't express how he really feels on the situation either. *BUT DEEP DOWN HE ACTUALLY CARES AND LOVES YOU WOW*

He is genuinely proud of you for being able to enlist, and he doesn't want to diminish the situation with his feelings on the situation. (Aka he's going to miss you a lot 🤧)

I have an inkling that he will be a light sleeper for a few weeks, because in theory he's hoping that you'll be okay in a new environment (not that he's willing to admit that but okay)

His goodbye hug would be kind of awkward- It's like the realisation kicks in and his mind is mentally processing everything that's going on. And when he snaps back, you're already gone.

Overall, he'd be fine. He sees this as something you have to/want to do, and wouldn't want to be the one to stop you.

But he sometimes catches himself trying to talk to you only to realise you're not there.

If you were going on a dangerous mission however, he'd act more *annoyed and emotionally constipated* because he is constantly worried about you.

Relies on your horoscope to be good every day for him to be able to relax just a little.

Akashi

Akashi in my mind has abandonment issues- So I don't see this going very well. After all, this isn't a vacation or a business trip.

I do feel he might get a bit heated and have a *calm heated argument* on the situation. It doesn't really matter to him how much you want/need to do this, he's got tunnel vision.

A lot of nights where he is staring at the ceiling. Like a lot.

I don't know if he's petty enough to not hug you goodbye or gives you that *butterfly in your stomach* hug. (I guess it depends on how well the discussion went- If he's mad at you then lmao no. If he snapped out of his tunnel vision then yeah)

But no I think he'd spiral down into hell the first weeks. Where he feels like what happened to his mother is going to happen to you too. He will pretend to be fine on the outside, but his mind is a tornado.

He gets calmer, as time goes on. He tries to latch on to any false sense of security that you're going to be just fine.

But that gets thrown out the window if you're doing something dangerous though. His tornado is stronger than ever, and I'm convinced he'd try and do everything in his *Akashi powers* to get you out of that situation.

Overall, he'd be scared every day for previously mentioned reasons, that what happened to his mom will happen to you.

Murasakibara

*headpat*, very proud of you. Honestly he would be kind of impressed. Since in his lazy nature, anything that is active must be really impressive---

He might be a bit of a sulky baby because he won't get to see you whenever he wants, but he will be fine as long as you reassure him it's temporary.

His sleep is mostly undisturbed because I don't.. see him as an overthinker.

His hug would be snuggly and cute though, he'd see you off with a soft smile and a "Good luck" and a headpat- because you're so damn cute-

I don't think he fully understands the severity being in the military- It's either going to be peaceful or it might end up being dangerous- But he's not really worried.

Would be pretty much unbothered the entire time, mostly sulky because he misses your cuddles and your occasional cafe dates though.

If you were going on a dangerous mission ... He might have a similar reaction to Kagami? Like "I'm not worried because my S/O is a tough cookie", I think panicked reactions are saved for *actual emergencies*.

Overall, he'd be the most unbothered out of them, as he doesn't allow the situation eat at his concious. "They'll be back soon enough" mentality.

Takao (My first love 🥸🤌)

Okay but I think he would react two ways; Externally he would celebrate with you, full on party party with confetti- but internally he'd be a bit upset about the fact you're leaving him

He would be so honest about how he felt, because he needs you to know that: even if it hurts him to see you go, he is happy that you're doing something you want.

He'd probably toss and turn the very first night's, but the more accustomed he is, the better he sleeps.

His hug would be so *emotional*, he's crying, you're crying, but he's also grinning like an idiot because he loves you and he's happy for you-

He would be fine the first weeks, he'd manage to distract himself with different activities and friends

But will slowly start missing you, *like a lot*. He'd start feeling the loneliness lurking in the corner, but he promises himself that he'll be fine.

If you're going on a dangerous mission, he'd probably pace back and forth a lot- Like he can't stand still. He'd take that opportunity to rant about his concerns to his friends, and allow himself to cry when he's alone, instead of bottling up his emotions.

He would worry for your safety, but he also has a feeling in his gut that nothing bad is going to happen. (Bonus; Midorima probably got him hooked on his horoscope show that he'd check in on your luck in times of need-)

[dontsharethistoanyone]

hello, sorry. I'm didn't mean to worry you. sorry. but i'm here, dapat hindi ko sasabihin sayo to, pero syempre, life is so short. okay na rin siguro magbawas ng nararamdaman. you're the 4th person who will know this secret. if ever we met at some point, sana wag mong maalala to. why am i sharing this to you? because we don't know when will life ends. natakot na ko mas share sa mga taong matandaan, thats why i always share my problem to someone na makakalimutin, hindi ko sure kung ganon ka, pero hindi mo naman ako kilala.

to be honest, i dont know if i still need help. im just to tired ig.

this my not seem so real, ikaw na bahala mag judge.

nung bata ako i have so many personalities, sobrang adventurous ko. sobrang hindi ko kaya na hindi ko na eexpress yong sarili ko. i need wild things, im born to be explore and be curious about things. then there's this one time na may nagsabi sakin na ampon ako. alam mo na asarang bata hahaha thats so normal. pero yong issue na yon, dumating hanggang sa mag grade 6 ako. out of curiousity natanong ko kay tatay if totoo ba, ang guess what? totoo sya sis. i didnt know what so say, what to react. ang the weird things is, hindi lang ako, dalawa kami,

that creeps me out, kasi only child lang ako. it turns out na may kambal ako, tatllo kami. im the middle child. yong panganay pala talaga yong anak nila, yong aampunin nila, kaso namatay sa sakit. ako, potangina nabuhay. they both treated me as their first child. yong pangalan ng ate ko, ako na kumuha. alam mo lahat ng gamit ng ate ko, sakin na napunta. lahat ng yong, hindi sakin yon. lahat ng to, hindi sakin to. it wasnt suppose to be mine.

dun ko na realize kung bakit lagi akong napapansin na parang ako. huh? kasi nung grade 7 lagi kong napapansin na may second me na nagbabantay sakin. i was so fucking scared.

that girl, shes miserable. that girl is cursing me. that girl wants me to die. and that girl is my sister, lagi syang nagpaparamdam, lasi syang nandyan. she wants my life, but i dont know how to give it to her, i didnt want to live. until napanaginipan ko sya.

alam ko na inagaw ko lahat sa kanya, family, things, this life. sakanya to eh. hindi naman ako yong dapat ampunin in the first place. she didnt want me to die, she want me so suffer.

the old me died when i was in grade 6, and my sister, ive been living as here up until now. she wanted to have more friends. she wants to have good grades, she wants to have a good life. that's why i live as her. and every time i forgot to live the life she wants. she will kill me, i can see things, torturous things. people are dying sa pananngin ko even if they are not real. i was so scared. i dont know where to express all things fucking feelings. i just want to end it. but i didnt. i deserve to suffer.

hindi ko alam, hindi ko talaga alam kung kilala ko paba yong sarili ko. hindi ko alam, ang dami kong gustong gawin, gustong maging kaibigan pero i cant. im not me anymore. hindi na ako to. hindi na akin tong buhay na to. i really tried to escape sobra.

nung grade 9 i want to tell this thoughts sa advicer nyo, but im scared, i cant even walk on my own. laging tinatanong ni sir if okay lang ba ako, i always smile and continue to pretend. this life, this isnt mine. i wasnt suppose to be here.

i want to be me again. i want to express myself more. kaya nung grade 10, just for fuckiung 1 year, let me be myself. if youre goin to see how i lived nung panahon na yon, it was paradise. ive meet such amazing people. i became me, i became my self. jahahahahhaha saglit wala na kong makita hahahh

it was the fisrt time i became very thankful to live. it was the fisrt time i can finally said that im happy. become the school year ends. i awkwardly said goodbye to my friends. sinong tanga yong mag goodbye ng february eh march ang graduation. kasi alam ko, i only have one month left, kaya sinulit ko na. gusto ko sila yakapin lahat. gusto ko sila ikeep for me. but i dont desrve that, i dont deserve them. before i became that girl again, kwinento ko to sa isa sa trusted friends ko. pumasok ako non nan naiyak kasi mamimiss ko talaga sila, alam nila na hindi ako iyakin but i just couldnt help mysefl but to cry. i mis the, somuch

wait napuwing ako hhahahaha comerciasl

after that, after that one year, everything went back to normal. after one year of ignoring that girl. bumalik na sya, and she made me suffer a lot. i started to ahve a lot of panic attacks. she killed me.

i was lifeless, so eto, etong nagtytype ngayon, is the breathless me. im living the life that she wanted me to have. i lost my friends, all of them. kasi yon ang guisto nya.

this is why i hate my name, kasi hindi sakin yon.

i tried ti seek help, pero wala sa mga kaibigan ko ang kayang intindihin yon situation ko.

para akong artista, ako yong bumubuhay sa bida.

nung 2020, i got the courage na magpatingin sa specialist. i didnt said everything bout myself. i told everything na nararamdaman nung bida, nung girl. she was diagnosed with depression. so i have to deal it all by myself because, i dont have b friend anymore, that girl dont have friends.

ang hirap, ilang beses akong humingi ng tulong. ilang beses akong nagtry, but none of them believed me. pero bakit kapag si ate, kapag sya, ang dami agad tumutulong. \

this is so deep. this is so shit.

ngayon, i dont need help. i wont die, maniwala ka, hindi ko kayang patayin yong sarili ko kasi utang ko tong buhay na to. hindi to akin.

but again, if ever that day comes, sana walang umiyak.

hahahhahahaha sorry, alam ko hindi kapanipaniwala to, wag ka mag alala, sanay na ko. pero thank you, i wanted to be friend s with you kaso hindi na pwede, sa next life nalang siguro.

Right now, gusto ko magbreakdown. Kaso I don't havr the courage to be depress sa gantong state.

I want to say sorry sa mga kaibigan ko, I'm a fake friend. Sorry kasi hindi ko ma share to sa kanila. I want to, kaso takot ako ss rejection.

i didnt express too much sa message na to kasi may online class pa, baka mahalat yong mukha ko kapag nagbreakdown ako. sanay nako sa ganto. sorry if i never got to explain myself and express more, nalimutan ko nakasi yong pakiramdam na maging ako. that person is lifeless.

Hey bub, sana kalimutan mo nalang to. I hate to make people worry. I hated it, kaya please, just let this go. Uulitin ko yong sinabi ko sa post ko na,

If I die early than everyone expected please don't cry. Death is one of my goal right now. Please be happy that finally I'm not suffering from everything. I'm already satisfied with the days I've spent here, I'm okay if I'll be gone soon.

And yes, masaya ako. Pero thank you for bwing warm.

Please don't speak this up. Ayokong pinag uusapan, ty.

salamat sa pagbasa, this might be the last. please dont worry too much, hindi ako sanay. dont worry that is how life goes, ig for me.

[fan-fantasies]

Partners? (Namjoon smut)

Pairing?: Namjoon x virgin!reader (college! au)

Warnings?: SMUT, fingering, oral, bit of a daddy kink, virgin reader, swearing (i think thats it?)

Word count?:a little over 8k

A/N: Hey guys! Its been a bit, kinda crazy that its now that i wanna write. So just a life update, i’m back at college, we are doing in person classes so I’m not sure how busy i’ll be. Though on a better note i’ve been writing a lot for some reason and am only now feeling inspired to do so. Anyways, someone needs to stop me from writing smut, I suck so bad at it but here I am continuing to write. Anyways, i hope you guys enjoy. Maybe i’ll post something else later in the week or by the weekend, who knows. Thanks for all the love and support you give me and Heather, we really appreciate it! <3 ~Breezy

In the three years, you had been at your university you had honestly believed that college dorm sex was the worst kind of sex to have. Not only did you have to be slightly quieter as to not allude the other students around you of what you were doing, but you had to make sure that you timed it just right so your roommate wouldn’t walk in on you. The number of times you had walked in on your roommate and her boyfriend finishing up was honestly insanely high. 

You and your roommate had been rooming together since your first year, you had moved into her room after your first roommate decided she wanted to party all the damn time. The two of you just seemed to click right away, you two had enough in common that you would stay up all night just chatting away. Usually talking about weird things and just end up going to bed without another word. 

Today was another day, your writing workshop had seemed to take its toll on you seeing as though you were dragging your feet on the pavement, how you hadn’t tripped yet was beyond your logic. You let out a rather loud yawn as you trudged towards your dorm building which seemed to be much farther away then you remember. 

“Hey!”A voice called from behind you, it took you a moment to realize that someone was talking to you. Stopping in your tracks, you turn and see a tall figure jogging towards you. You instantly recognize him by his blonde hair, he usually sits next to you in your workshop class. Namjoon was his name.

When he finally caught up to you, he stopped to catch his breath, “Damn, I’m out of shape,” he pants before standing back up fully. He was tall, practically towering over you. 

“Sorry to just run up to you,” he begins, “but I know we will be having a group project soon and I enjoy your writing so I was wondering if you would want to work with me?” He says looking at you, there was a small smile on his face. 

You had done proofreading on his work before, it was honestly amazing but you weren’t sure what he saw in your work. 

“Y-Yeah! Sure, I would like to work with you,” you smile, “I enjoy your work too!” You follow up as you watch his smile grow and small dimples appear. 

“Awesome!”He exclaims, “Can I have your number? So we can talk about times to meet up or maybe throw ideas at each other.”

You’re too mesmerized by his cute smile to say words, so you simply nod at his question. Both of you exchange numbers before you both go into different directions. 

You were lucky that Namjoon had stopped you to talk because if he hadn’t, you likely would have walked in on your roommate and her boyfriend having their sexy time. Unlocking the door, you enter, seeing the two of them in bed just kinda chatting but you knew they were likely naked under those blankets. You kept your eyes from looking in that direction as you walk towards your side of the room. 

Your roommate had greeted you, which you happily reply with a simple greeting. You knew the two of them would go back to chatting until they either fell asleep or he would get dressed and leave. You put your earbuds into your ears and began to read over the assignment that was given for another class and began to work on it. Engrossed in the music, your head thinking about nothing but the assignment until you felt someone tap your shoulder. 

“It’s time for dinner, wanna go to the cafe?” Your roommate asked, typically you both went together or ate in the room.

“Yeah just give me a second,” you answer as you get yourself to a good stopping point before grabbing all the things you needed for dinner. 

The walk with filled with chaotic chatter as usual, though she did apologize for you nearly walking in on them again. 

“Me and him just have awful timing,” she admits, “and we can’t do anything in his room cause his roommate is literally always around,” she explains with a shrug. 

You nod, “Yes well, please for the love of all things, just text me when you think you’re gonna start anything.” You plead, “Then at least I can wait an hour or something so I don’t have to see any more than I already do.” You both laughed for a few moments before entering the building that seemed rather quiet for the time of day. 

After grabbing your plate of food and finding an empty table you both sat together enjoying each other company more than the food. 

“Hey (y/n),”

You glance behind you, surprised to see Namjoon standing behind you. “Oh hey Namjoon,” he was smiling,

“Do you mind if I join you two? I wanted to run something by you for the project,” you glance over to your roommate who was clearing giving signs to let this poor man sit. 

“Sure take a seat,”you tell him, “Oh Namjoon, this is my roommate,” you introduce both of them. Your roommate seemed more interested in trying to leave you two alone to talk then actually making a friend. She stood up, grabbing all her things, before leaving she whispers in your ear,

“He’s cute! You better be getting some of that,” she giggles before walking off not giving you a chance to explain that it was nothing like that.

“Sorry about her, she can be a little weird,” you apologize to him, he only laughed a little before you both began talking about your project.

“I don’t know about you, but I find myself writing more romance style novels then I do anything,” he laughs nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

You sat there thinking about it, “I’ve never really written a romance style thing before,” you trail, you were more into writing horror and fantasy then you were anything. 

“I enjoy horror and fantasy,” you explain looking down at your hands. You weren’t exactly expecting the reaction you had gotten.

“That's wonderful!,” He began to jot notes down in his book, “Why don’t we try to write the most obscure story? Some sort of romance horror story,”  he suggests. 

There were a few moments of silence while you thought it over, a horror romance novel? That seemed a bit out there but then again, your writing wasn’t too far off from being “out there”.

“That sounds kind of fun~,” you tell him. His beautiful bright smile appeared on his face causing a blush to appear on your cheeks. What a truly interesting project this would be.

You hadn’t even noticed that people were slowly leaving the dining room area, the both of you too engrossed on trying to come up with the perfect idea. It wasn’t until the staff came over and told you it was nearly closing time that you realized how long you had been sitting at the same table. In that period, you had brainstormed five potential ideas. Honestly, you didn’t believe that you could be so productive with anyone.

“Namjoon, your some sort of genius,” you say as the two of you walk back towards the dorm buildings,

He laughs and shakes his head, “Well I wouldn’t say I’m a genius,” he began, “We can work really well together which is just a good thing,” he tries to explain, you figured he didn’t know how to word his statement but you understood what he meant. It was a relief to think someone so great had wanted to be your partner, since you last partner did none of the work and royally screwed you over. 

“Do you want to meet up tomorrow?” He asks, “To brainstorm some more,” he quickly adds . You thought for a moment only to remember tomorrow was the worst day of the week. 

“I won’t be able to till pretty late. My last class gets out around seven,” you sigh glancing up at him,

He just gave you a nod, “Why don’t we meet up tomorrow after your class for a little bit? I don’t mind staying up a little later,” he suggests,

You weren’t sure if your body could carry you that long, “I don’t know Joon~,” you trail, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to function after such a long day,” you try to reason, 

It was clear he understood but he seemed a bit taken back, “Joon?” He questioned, your eyes went wide with shock, 

“O-Oh, I’m sorry… I tend to give people nicknames and I don’t ever ask if its okay,” you blurt out in hopes you didn’t actually offend him. 

He just laughed, “No it’s alright, I like that a lot,” he answer causing a huge weight to lift from your chest. 

“How about this? We meet up tomorrow, a friend of mine works at a small diner right down the street. He would give us a place in the back if we wanted to work and we can get something to eat,” he says, “if the time comes and your tired then we won’t go,” he concludes. You decided to just tell him yes, not like it was a hard choice. 

You both said your goodbyes before entering your building and heading towards your room. Your roommate was sitting on her bed, laptop on her lap as she scrolled through Facebook. Her face lit up when she saw you, 

“Spill it!” She squealed looking at you hoping for some juicy details of a ‘hook up’. 

You raised your eyebrow, “There is nothing to spill,” you tell her, “We sat and talked about our project,”

She groaned loudly, for some reason she was always trying to convince you to sleep with someone. “Come on girl!” She shrieks, “You need to get some of him!” She put her laptop onto her bed and turned to face you. “He’s super cute and I’m pretty sure he likes you,” 

You knew she was happy for you but she honestly tended to be a little over the top about it. 

“Just forget about it, he’s my project partner,” you didn’t say anything else, you got your bag ready for you long day of classes. 

You knew you were asleep, but this dream felt so real to you. The library was quiet, you really enjoyed studying on the second floor of the library cause no one typically ventured down this far. It almost felt like a secret spot to you. 

“You like this spot too?” A voice asked, you knew it was Namjoon, you didn’t even have to look up from your book. 

“Its quiet and no one can distract me,” you explain continuing to let your eyes scan the book in front of you. 

“Can I join you?” You gave him a nod before he pulled a chair up next to you. The both of you studying in silence for what seemed like forever, it was peaceful and calming. That was until you felt his large hand on your knee. 

You froze at the sudden contact, finally glancing up from your book only to see him reading his as if nothing was happening. 

“N-Namjoon?” You stammer trying to keep yourself calm and to not over think it. He glanced over from his book, only to send you a wink before going back to his reading. What in the world was happening? 

You went back to your reading only to feel his hand creep higher up your leg, now reaching your mid thigh. You felt you stomach twist, not in disgust but in excitement. You tried so desperately to focus on your reading. Though his hand just kept creeping higher until reaching the apex of your thigh. You bit your lip, gently squeezing your legs together. His hand squeezed your thigh, he clicked his tongue in displeasure. Using his strength he pried your legs apart, though you didn’t try to fight back, it was easy to say you weren’t apposed to this happening. 

Once again looking up from your book, you finally saw him looking at you. His eyes blown with lust, it took your breath away. 

“Joon?” You whisper softly as he sets his book down. 

He chuckles, “Keep reading babygirl, and remember keep quiet,” he mumbles, “this is a library,” 

You aren’t sure what his plan is until you feel his hand creep up and begin to unbutton you jeans. You cheeks begin to heat up but you don’t protest, it almost turned you on more. You continue to try to focus on your book as he shimmy you jeans down your legs. Eventually his hand found its way between your thighs, his long fingers gently rubbing over your clothed core. You held back a moan, you had never been touched like this by anyone. 

He felt you tense up and could clearly see the wet spot starting to appear on your underwear, 

“Someones excited,” he chuckles glancing up at you, “Have you thought about this, me touching you like this?” He whispers now expecting an answer, 

You nod your head, “Y-Yes,” you whimper out, you wanted more, you NEEDED more. 

“Now be a good girl and start reading to me, don’t miss a word or I’ll stop,” you couldn’t believe your ears, he wanted you to read? You felt him move your underwear aside, his fingers dipping down through your wet folds. You whimper softly, 

“You heard me baby, start reading,” he growls lowly causing a shiver to run down your spine. Slowly you begin to read where you left off, reading something about the Egyptian gods and how the society revolved around them. You had honestly stoped paying attention up until this point. 

As you continued to read, his fingers ran through your folds collecting you wetness before gently making circles on your clit. The low moan that left you lips was unintentional and not something you had hoped would come from you but you continued to read. 

“You’re so wet baby,” Namjoon mumbles as he kisses your inner thigh, his fingers now trailing towards your entrance before he slowly interested a finger into you. 

You couldn’t help but stop reading, you knew if you continued the moan that would have escaped your lips would have alerted the who library. Just like he said, he stoped when you didn’t continue reading.

“What did I tell you babygirl?” He huskily asks, you began to pant unsure if you can answer. 

“P-Please daddy,” you whine, “just give me a minute, i-i’ll keep reading~ I promise,” the fact that you had just uttered those words even surprised you seeing as though you didn’t think that was something you were that into. 

He gave you a curt nod, “You better beautiful, or I won’t move,” you tried desperately to catch your breath but it took a few moments until you found yourself reading again. Once you began to read, Namjoon slowly began to pump his finger in and out of you. It took every inch of you to not stop or to stumble on your words. 

It wasn’t until he added a second finger where things started to go down hill. You began to stutter, soft moans began to leave your lips.

“P-Please, can I stop reading?” You beg hoping to get an answer you liked. 

He just chuckled as he stopped his motion, “Why should I let you stop baby?” He teased looking up at you, you didn’t have an answer to his question. 

“You gotta study babygirl,” he teases as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you. 

“P-Please daddy, I wanna watch you,” you whine causing him to stop, 

“You like this?” He begins to move his fingers faster, you put your book down. “If you aren’t gonna read you’re gonna look right at me,” he says looking you directly in the eyes. You gave him a nod locking eyes with him. While keeping eye contact, slowly he leans forward leaving a single kitten like on your clit, almost testing the waters. You bit your tongue to hold back the moan that would have escaped. 

Without warning he went straight in, sucking your clit between his lips.

“o-oh fuck,” you whimper as you try to keep eye contact with him, the feeling of his lips harshly sucking on you, while pumping his fingers into you. It was unlike anything you had ever felt before. When he finally inserted a third finger, your head rolled back a moan finally leaving your lips. You felt him gently slap your thigh to gain your attention, 

“Eyes on me babygirl, I wanna see your beautiful face when you cum on my fingers,” you felt yourself get closer to your release, 

“Fuck, are you gonna cum babygirl? I feel you tightening around my fingers.” He groans, “You like doing this in public don’t you? You like the idea of getting caught, don’t you?” He taunts, you moan not able to form words, 

“Answer me,” he growls against your clit as he gently nibbles on it, 

“Yes daddy, I like it,” you whines out softly, he chuckled sending vibrations straight to your core. 

“I knew you did you slut,” his words only pushing you closer to the edge, 

“I’m so close,” you moan, “Please daddy, let me cum,” you beg, he groans at the sound of you begging. 

“Go on babygirl, cum for daddy,” he groaned out move his fingers faster. The look in his eyes was enough to throw you over the edge, your legs began to shake as you finally reached your climax. He helped you through your high, working his fingers slowly in and out of you until you finally came down. 

“What a good girl~”

Your eyes snapped open, you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs, you hated wet dreams…. You grumbled to yourself as you looked at your phone and saw that it was seven o’clock, thirty minutes before your alarm as to go off. 

“God damn it,” you mumble under your breath as you get out of bed, deciding to take a shower to start the day and maybe you might be able to deal with the aching between your legs. 

Your day had honestly started off alright considering waking up earlier than intended.  Your first three classes went by rather well, though you had two more to go. Between walking from building to building you stopped into the cafeteria to grab a quick snack seeing as though you wouldn’t be eating until eight o’clock tonight when you met with Joon.

In your rush to get in and out quickly, you ran into something solid, 

“(Y/n)? You alight?” A concerned voice asked, you nodded before looking up, 

“Yeah, I’m alright Hobi,” you say, “I’m sorry for running into you, I’m in a bit of a rush,” you explain to him, he smiled his bright smile before speaking, 

“No harm done! I look forward to seeing you tomorrow at the club meeting!” He say as you rush off. Hobi was president of a dance club that you had been apart of since your freshmen year, but it wasn’t until Hobi came around that you guys ever did anything. You were finally doing shows and competitions, it was honestly the most amazing thing. The both of you bonded over a duet you did together that would be considered pretty risky for just friends to do. Ever since then you two were honestly the best of friends. 

Rushing towards your next class you munched on a piece of toast, you weren’t running late but if you walked slow enough you would be. You just kept telling yourself that you were almost done and soon you would be meeting with your cute new friend. 

Seven o’clock came around and you were trying your best to keep yourself awake, you last class had a quiz that you had completely forgot about and it honestly took everything out of you. 

“Hey (y/n),” Namjoon says as he meets you outside of the school building. 

You yawn and smile, “Hi Joon,” he frowns, he can clearly see that you were tired. 

“Let me take you to your room,” he says with his usual smile, you looked at him in confusion,

“N-No, Joon lets go do our project,” you yawn as you begin to walk, he stops you by gently grabbing your hand,

“Why don’t we go to your room, we can work there if you want,” he says, you nodded sleepily. You must have been that sleepy to invite the boy your roommate shipped you with back to your room. This was a disaster waiting to happen. 

Namjoon walked with you into your room, your roommate was no where in sight. Weird, she must have been at her boyfriends room…

“Make yourself at home,’ you yawn as you set you bag down by your desk and promptly take a seat on your bed. 

“Fuck~” Namjoon mutters as he checks his phone, 

“Whats wrong?” You ask sleepily, you kinda cuddling into your bed. 

“My roommates girlfriend is over, meaning I need to find a place to crash tonight,” he mumbles clearly not happy about the predicament. 

Without thinking you spoke up, “Stay here,” he seems to freeze in his place, “I don’t mind,” you yawn again now laying down in the bed. 

“A-Are you sure (y/n)? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he reasons with you. You pat the empty space next to you, honestly not caring what he did. 

He must have realized no work was getting done tonight, because the lights went out and you felt him lay behind you. You could tell he was trying to keep his distance like a gentleman but you weren’t a fan of personal space. 

A soft yawn escaped your lips  as you cuddled closer to his chest, you had always liked being warm when you slept and he was practically radiating heat. Namjoon tensed up behind you, unsure of what to do mainly because he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. Though he felt himself slowly drift to sleep, his arm gently draping over your waist gently. He could help but feel butterflies in his stomach, it was true he found you cute and that he may have gained a crush on you in the small amount of time you knew each other. Though he wasn’t going to complain about what was happening, no way in hell but he just hoped when you both woke up you things wouldn’t be too awkward. 

You heard the door slowly open, at what you assumed was, early that next morning. You didn’t pay much mind to it seeing as though you were so comfortable and warm in your bed. The soft giggles of your roommate were faint as you slowly began to wake up from your peaceful sleep. You had begun to realize that you pillow was a bit harder then usual…You eyes fluttered open only to find that your pillow was, in fact, the hard chest that belonged to none other then Namjoon. You knew nothing had happened last night, and that this was nothing more. 

“What time is it?” You groan quietly to your roommate, 

“A little after seven,” she says just as quietly, “I see you had a fun night,” she teased, 

You stuck your tongue out at her, “No, he came over to work on our project and I fell asleep, his roommate had his girlfriend over and needed a place to crash.” You tell her as quietly as you could without waking the gentle giant. Your roommate still giggled and went to her side of the room, you assumed to get ready for the class she had today. 

You took this moment to look up at Joons sleeping face, his hair was slightly disheveled and his lips slight agape. Every so often he would softly snore and shift a little. You honestly wished you could have this view all the time. You watched for as he slowly began to wake up, his eyes fluttered open. 

A small smile formed on his lips, “Morning,” he mumbled lowly in his deep morning voice. 

“Morning Joon,” you say just as softly as you slowly try to sit up, instead he slowly pulls you back, 

“Stay for a bit longer,” he groans as he seems to close his eyes again. You honestly didn’t fight him, though you knew your roommate wasn’t gonna let you live it down. It wasn’t much longer until your eyes fluttered shut again and you fell asleep. 

You woke up again, this time to a tickling feeling against your neck. It didn’t take you long to realize that it was Namjoon’s breath against your neck. His face was buried into your neck, his lips ridiculously close to touching your skin. You tried so hard to control your breathing, to ignore the feeling of arousal starting to pool between your legs. Just the idea of his lips on your neck was enough to cause said aching between your legs. 

Namjoon groans in his sleep, shifting closer to you, his lips now brushing gently against the nape of your neck. You bit your lip in order to hold back the whimper that was rising from your throat. This man had no idea what he was doing to you. You continued to feel his lips lightly brush against your neck for a few moment, holding back was becoming incredibly hard. You wanted to move but his arm was securely wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him, maybe he was aware of what he did to you…

You tried to push that thought away from you there was no way he knew, well that’s what you thought. Not seconds later did his lips press against your neck, not roughly but just enough that a the whimper you had been holding back finally made an appearance. His lips didn’t move, it was clear that he was still asleep. 

“J-Joon,” you whisper out in hopes that maybe he would wake up, He just groaned in his sleep, his lips continuing to graze your neck. 

“Namjoon,” you breath out, trying to hide your embarrassment, you honestly couldn’t believe that something this simple was turning you on. Slowly he began to shift, his lips moving away from you now as his eyes opened. 

“(Y/N)?” He groans as he slowly wakes up, you sat there trying to catch your breath. You heart was still pounding in your chest, 

“Are you okay?” He asked, clear concern laced in his voice. 

You nod your head, “Y-Yeah, just woke up from a weird dream,” you stammer out trying to keep yourself calm. He sits up looking at you, he was worried about you clearly. 

“I’m alright, I promise,” you say, “do you have class today? We can do some of our project today.” You say trying to change the subject. He rubs his eyes, before shaking his head, 

“I have a club meeting tonight but that’s about it,” he replies, he keeps an arm wrapped around you as you chatted,

“You’re in a club?” You question, you assumed he was in some sort of ‘smart person’ club but you wouldn’t actually admit that out loud. 

“A childhood friend wanted me to join a club with him,” he says with a nod, 

“Who’s your friend? If you don’t mind me asking,” you ask honestly kinda curious to see if you know them.

“His names Hoseok,” he says with a shrug, 

You sat there shocked for a second, “Wait, Jung Hoseok?” You ask, when he nodded you nearly had a heart attack, “You’re joining the dance club?” You blurted, you really hoped he didn’t take offense to that. 

He laughed and nodded, “Yes, I know it’s a bit strange. He roped a bunch of our friends together to do some sort of dance together,” he laughed, “He even managed to ask our friend Seokjin and Yoongi to come back to join it,” He explained, now you were interested, 

“Wait, Min Yoongi?” You ask, “The music production major, who on the last day literally cussed out the professor?” You squack, causing the both of you to laugh. His laugh was honestly adorable to say the least. 

“Yes that Yoongi,” he confirmed, “We all became friends at a young age and we all just kinda stayed together I guess.” He chuckled, you smiled hearing that. You didn’t have many friends growing up, and the ones you did lost contact and you all just kinda faded away. Not like you really cared seeing as though you never really liked having friends anyways. 

“I didn’t realize he would be someone to be into dancing,” you mutter causing Namjoon to chuckle, there were no other words spoken for a few moments. 

Eventually, the both of you began to work on your project. You both of you throwing ideas back and forth of the strangest thing. 

“Hear me out,” you begin with a giggle, “What about these two friends live together, and one of them becomes possessed by a demon,” you explain, “the demon sees that the friend it’s possessing is madly in love with the other. So it spends all its time trying to get them together,” you conclude looking at his face for any sort of thought. 

A bright smile spread across his face, “Thats amazing! It’s perfect!” He says happily, jotting it all down in his notes. The both of you continued to work for most of the day, it seemed like both of your minds just joined together as one. 

Before you realized it, it was nearly time for you to head to club. 

He began to pack up his things, “So I’ll see you there?” He asked with a happy smile, you gave him a happy nod before saying goodbye. Once he left, you threw on your more dance worthy clothing before grabbing your water bottle and keys, before locking your door and leaving. 

You were one of the first to arrive after Hobi, he was quick to run to you and engulf you into the tightest hug imaginable. 

You were happy to give him an even bigger hug, “Hobi!” You squeal happily, his cute laugh filled the room as you both just stood embracing each other. Though it honestly hadn’t been that long since you had seen him, you both often greeted each other this way. 

It was honestly the one thing you looked forward to. If it weren’t for Hobi, you wouldn’t be the person you were today. As you waited for the rest of the club, the both of you stretched and spoke together about the things you had done over your summer or just random things that you both had been up to. 

Eventually a few stragglers came in before the large group of boys that you were kind of familiar with. The three you recognized was, of course, Namjoon who walked beside Yoongi. You had only seen him a few times, Yoongi was pretty quiet when he wasn’t with his friends. You had nearly worked a project with him, a singer was needed, you had auditioned but the day you were asked to go in they had turned everyone away. He had decided to do something different. 

The last person you recognized was Jimin, you had met him through the club. He was a true sweetheart and was honestly a dance god. You honestly envied his talent, he was an amazing dancer with so much passion. You had both danced together once, you had nearly won a competition his first time doing the club. 

Hoseok’s voice filled the room as he greeted his friends from where he was standing, you could tell he was extremely happy to see that they had actually decided to show up. He waved you over with a wide smile, you cautiously walk over not exactly sure how this would go over. 

“Guys! This is (Y/N), she’s another good friend of mine!” He introduces, you gave an awkward smile and wave as they all introduced themselves. Jimin greeted you with a sweet hug as the others just kinda waved. 

“I’m just so glad you guys are here!” He cheers with a giggle, each person broke into a pretty wide smile. This years club was going to be an interesting one, you could tell. 

A few months had gone by, Namjoon and yourself had gotten closer than ever. If you squinted you would honestly think you were an actual couple, well most people believed that you were anyways. You were always together, either working on your project or just hanging out together.  Hobi had noticed the two of you getting close, so he decided to make you dance partners. It was honestly the most amazing thing to happen, it only brought you two closer together. 

So close that your roommate just wouldn’t stop teasing you, asking when you were finally gonna take things to the next step. You obviously told her that you both weren’t in that kind of relationship, she would just roll her eyes and continue to tease you. 

Today was like any other day, except today you stayed in his room. The both of you sat in his bed watching a random movie that played on his computer. You two often did this on the weekends, it was a way for you to de-stress and just spend time away from everyone. 

Though something was different, Namjoon seemed nervous. He arm was slung over your shoulder, you wanted so desperately to cuddle into his side. 

Recently the stresses of college had really gotten to you, all the work and projects you had to get done where starting to take its tole. You hadn’t been sleeping well, you hadn’t been eating well and honestly you had gone a week or so without interacting with anyone, that included going to your favorite club. 

“Are you okay?” Joon questions snapping you out of your thoughts. You didn’t speak for a few seconds, the only sound to be heard was the sound of the tv. 

“I’m alright,” you finally answer, “I’m just glad to be finally having a break from everything.” You whisper softly, he gave a small nod before pulling you closer to his side. The faint smell of his cologne fulled your nose instantly calming you down. 

“Thanks Joonie,” you mumble snuggling into him more, if that’s even possible. You heard him chuckle a little. You glanced up to him, much to your surprise he was looking at you, his dimpled smile showing. You found yourself glancing down at his lips a few times, honestly wondering if they were a soft as they looked. He seemed to notice you gaze rather quickly, he was always a little slow when it came to the signs but he could see that this was something you might have wanted. He slowly leans towards you, his lips now extremely close to yours. 

“N-Namjoon,” you whisper, looking into his dark eyes. Concern filled them for a second, afraid he had done something wrong. “Kiss me, please,” you tell him, not wanting to wait another second. He seems frozen at your request, so you took the leap of faith. Gently you connected your lips together, it was clear that the both of you were nervous. 

The kiss lasted only a few seconds, before he pulled away slowly, you heart was beating out of your chest. Before you knew it, his hands gently grabbed your waist, pulling you onto his lap you legs straddling him. One of his hands sat gently on your side while the other caressed the back of your neck. He pulls you back in for another kiss, this one passionate and showed all the feelings he had. His hand held you close as his tongue gently snaked his way into your mouth. Was this was really happening?

You couldn’t help but involuntarily rolling your hips against his causing the both of you to moan into each others mouths. You finger tangled in his hair holding him as close as you could get him. Was this actually happening? You’d never done this with anyone before but you weren’t going to stop, this felt way too right. 

You pulled away from his lips, both of you trying to catch your breath. Cautiously his lips trailed down your neck, leaving feather light kisses everywhere that he could. You let out a soft sign, the feeling foreign but pleasant. As he became more confident in himself, his lips pressed harder onto your neck occasionally sucking and nipping at the skin cause soft moans to slip past you lips. His hands began to wander cautiously, giving you an opportunity to stop him at any time. You hadn’t planed to stop him, even after his hands began to wander under your shirt touching your bare waist. He pulled away from your neck, looking you in the eyes asking for permission. You simply nodded, you didn’t have to say words the both of you could practically feel each others energies. 

His lips connected to yours again, you grabbed the edge of your shirt, slowly pulling it up and off of you. The kiss continued for a few moments before he too shed his shirt. Your hands began to trail his toned stomach, he was so well built… 

A groan escaped his lips as a hands began to trail up towards your chest, his hands cupping your cloth covered breasts gently almost testing the waters. Once again his lips trailed down your neck heading towards your semi-exposed chest. Taking this chance, you reach behind to unclasp your bra letting it fall from your chest. He doesn’t hesitate to let his lips wander further down until his lips attached to one of your nipples. You couldn’t stop the moan that trembled from your lips causing him to glance up at you and pull away, 

“You gotta be quiet, we don’t need everyone hearing,” he chuckled with a small smirk causing wetness to pool between your legs. He left a few kitten likes against your nipple before seeing your reaction, “Unless you want everyone to know.” This caused another moan to surface giving him the answer he was looking for. He used his strength to lay you down on your back, him hovering above you. His lips continuing to assault your breasts, leaving small love bites and soft kisses as he worked his way down towards you stomach. 

“Joon, please,” you whine softly trying to keep your voice down. He left light kisses near your navel as he slowly began to pull down your sweatpants. Lifting your hips off the bed to help get your pants off. He wasted no time, leaving light kisses against you thighs leaving your body shaking with anticipation. He silently drank in your form before leaning down kissing near the waistband of your panties, he glances up at you almost silently asking for permission which you happily gave him. He pulled them down your legs carefully, you hear him audibly groan at the sight of you. 

“You’re so wet baby,” he groans as he begins to kiss your thighs again making his way higher and higher. He parts your legs, placing them on his shoulders as he dives in. His tongue automatically finding your clit, you bit your lip silencing the cry that the whole building would likely had heard. Your fingers tangled in his hair, holding on for dear life, his mouth felt amazing. 

“H-Holy shit, that feels so good,” you moan softly, you felt him smile against you, occasionally groaning as he continued to eat you out. The closer you to to your high, which was a lot faster than you would hope, the harder it became to hold back your moans. 

“Joon, I’m so close, please,” you beg trying to keep your voice down as low as you could, your grip in his hair tightened causing him to groan. You hips bucked up against his face, trying to chase your orgasm. He flattens his hands against your stomach, pinning you down so you couldn’t move. This only brought you closer, after a few moments of chasing your much needed orgasm he growls against you, 

“Cum for me, baby,” That was all it took before you were thrown over the edge, the idea of him being able to bring you to an orgasm with just his tongue only seemed to intensify it. 

“Joon,” you whine as you came down from your high but his ministrations didn’t stop. You tried to push him away but he held you down. It was only a moment before he from between your legs, crawling up your body and kissing you lustfully. You could still taste yourself on his tongue as you fought for dominance. His fingers gently touched your sensitive clit causing you to gasp against his lips, he pulls away slightly,

“Relax baby,” he whispers, “I have to prep you for me,” he nips at your neck, as his fingers trail down towards your entrance you grab his hand. 

A faint blush crept on your cheeks, now feeling embarrassed, his eyes softened. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked genuinely concerned about this, you covered your face in embarrassment. 

“I-I’m a virgin,” you mumble, gently he moved your hands from your face. He looks directly into your eyes, you could only see love in his eyes. 

“It’s alright,” he kisses your cheek sweetly, “If you want to stop we can, I don’t wanna rush you,” he begins, “If not, I will be really gentle alright? I would never hurt you,” he whispers, you felt tears well up in your eyes. You couldn’t believe he actually cared that much for you…. 

“Please keep going,” you whisper, “I trust you,” you watch as his smile grew wider, the love in his eyes only grew brighter. 

“Then I will be really gentle, you just have to tell me if I’m hurting you,” he says; you give him a nod of understanding before he continued. His lips connected to yours once more in a quick kiss before he gently laid his forehead against yours, his finger circling your entrance. You gave him a small nod while looking into his eyes. He took the first step, slowly inserting a finger into you. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling to start with, kinda uncomfortable but the longer you adjusted. You knew this was just the beginning though. 

Slowly he began to move his finger, testing the water to see how you were feeling, the moan that escaped your lips seemed to egg him on. His pace slowly quickened, before slowly entering a second finger into the mix. He halted his motions for a few moments, 

“You’re doing so well beautiful,” he whispered in your ear, along with a few other encouraging words that seemed to shoot a tingling sensation right down to your core.  

“M-Move, please,” you whine not wanting him to hold back any more. He took that as his cue, starting a slow almost teasing pace that drove you crazy. Though the slow pace didn’t exactly last too long, it began to pick up. His eyes never left yours, watching as your face would contort in please just by the flex of his fingers. 

“J-Joon,” you moan, “I want you,” he didn’t need to be told twice. He pushed himself off the bed, finding a condom not in his desk but his roommates. This made you giggle, 

“he won’t notice, the guy goes through them like candy,” he grumbles as he pulls down his sweatpants and boxers. His hard cock hits his stomach, the tip already leaking pre-cum as he put the condom on and hovered above you. 

“This will hurt a little, alright? But just for a minute,” he advices as he lined up with your entrance. Once he slowly began to sink into you, holding back tears you pulled him closer to you burying you face into the crook of his neck. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you laid together adjusting to his size, the pain slowly turned into a dull ache and eventually nearly nothing. 

“Y-You can move,” you tell him as he pecks your lips. Slowly he pulls himself out and back in, setting a slow pace just to start out. Soft moans continued to flow from your lips, trying so hard to keep quiet but it was proving a harder task than you thought. 

He kept the slow pace for a few minutes, the he began to speed up until he was nearly pounding into you. All you could do was moan his name as you were, once again, building up towards your orgasm. Namjoon left soft kisses against your neck, leaving love bites in his wake, 

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” He growls against your neck, 

You hold back the loud moan you were threatening to let out, “yes,” you moan, “Yes daddy,” you whimper, you felt his tense slightly at the name he was just called. A blush crept up your neck and to your cheeks, you honestly believed you had screwed up. 

“Call me that again,” he groans into your ear as he began to snap his hips forward thrusting deeper than before.

“Daddy,” you whine, “I’m so close please,” you sob trying to keep your cries to a dull roar but you were ultimately failing. He continues to thrust, now rougher than ever but you could tell that the name was really getting to him. You could feel the knot in your stomach endlessly tightening but it wasn’t enough, you needed something else. Almost as if he read your mind, his hand snuck down between your bodies, his finger tips drawing tight circles on your clit. 

“Come on baby,” he groans, “Cum for daddy,” he growls while making eye contact with you. You felt the knot snap, you pull Namjoon down into a suffocating kiss, muting the loud moan that escaped as you found your release. Namjoon followed behind, as he felt your walls tighten around him his thrust got sloppy, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. 

“Shit, fuck,” he groans into your neck as he released into the condom. His thrusts continued until he nearly collapsed on top of you. The both of you panting, trying to catch your breath. Before he got to comfy he tied the condom off and threw it in the trash. He pulled the blankets over the both of you, and pulled you towards his chest, his heart was still racing. 

“That was amazing,” you say softly, cuddling into his chest. He only nodded in agreement, taking a few minutes to figure out what he wanted to say. That was until the sound of his door unlocking brought you both out of your daze. 

You weren’t prepared for who walked in. 

“Woah, what the fuck…” a familiar voice said, the both of you glanced over only to see your roommate and her boyfriend walk in. 

“No fucking way!” Your roommate squeals in, honest to god, joy. You buried your face into Namjoon’s chest to hide the deep red blush that appeared. 

“Can you guys like, leave?” Namjoon asked, hoping that they wouldn’t over stay their welcome. The both of them laughed, his roommate grabbing a few things before heading back towards the door, 

“So this is what it feels like to be walked in on?” He mumbled causing you and Joon to laugh. When the two of them left, leaving you two alone did he finally speak. 

“I want to take you out,” he mumbles, “Please… I kind of did this in the wrong order,” he rubbed the back of his neck. You giggled at him, his nervousness was honestly the cutest thing. 

“I would love to go out Joonie,” you say kissing his cheek, “Now can we take a nap?” You ask with a giggle. He gave a wide smile before nodding. 

“Of course beautiful,” he whispers as the both of you lay down, he pulls you into his warm chest before the both of you fall asleep.

[randomsmilingpotatoes]

alright here i am with my love victor opinions no-one asked for

- i was gonna originally do episode by episode commentaries but i'd seen a few spoilers and was scared i'd say something good about a bad character or something so didn't end up doing it asfgcjhvfkhj

- rahim is great but making him a love interest for victor was NOT it. a love triangle was not needed at all and it would've been really nice to have two gay guys be platonic friends with nothing more. also why did victor need a date to the wedding when felix and lake were broken up anyway??

- to extend from that, i don't hate benji as much as i expected to from people's posts and i think it's mostly bc both he and victor are?? flawed people?? who i actually think should end up together but they either need to work on communication OR take a break and work on themselves without bringing in other love interests into the equation

- furthermore, victor obviously wants to be with benji but i think the best thing for him rn would be to be single while he and his family go through the process of his coming out and their acceptance. he doesn't need to handle a relationship rn but he could do with a friend who understands what he's going through, aka rahim

- benji also clearly is too accustomed to being accepted and they touched on that a little especially in that he has white liberal parents but it wasn't talked about enough. they didn't really have him acknowledge the difference himself but also they didn't acknowledge that he has simply been out longer, and that not everyone wants to re-closet themselves. hence why maybe it's not the right time for either of them to date rn

- i found myself relating to a LOT to what victor was going through, not in terms of culture/ethnicity or religion specifically but the dealing with a homophobic mother and a partner who isn't experiencing it the same way, and just with a variety of things he dealt with throughout this season. however, and i found this in the first season, i just don't connect with his acting the way i do with every other character. idk why

- i really wanted felix x pilar to happen in season 1 and even at the start of s2 but after watching this season i wish it didn't honestly. i get why felix can't be with lake rn of course, and i also like that it emphasises how much of a risk she took in the decision she made. however, they reduced pilar's AWESOME character to be literally just a girl with a crush in this season and while there's nothing wrong with that, i found it really disappointing and also kinda doesn't work with the storyline. had felix been with pilar instead what would she have done?? and would she really have been there the way lake was, or at least different to lake? i don't know. i feel like it would have made more sense for felix and lake to break up properly in the finale and for felix x pilar to happen more as a slowburn in season 3. that being said they clearly just put them together to please fans and i'm worried they'll continue doing this

anyway i'm excited for bi lake with andrew's ex (lucy?)!! i wish we had more scenes of them pre-finale but i can't wait for more!!!!!!

- speaking of, i like how they made andrew this season with everything and i'm glad to see him and mia finally together. but i hope he doesn't just become ~the boyfriend~ with no other character to him. i also am so angry at mia's dad for taking that job and feel so bad for mia bc she's been through a LOT this season like damn:/ that being said i feel like everything about mia is what she's dealing with and not so much who she is?? so would be nice to see more of her as herself in season 3

- they don't show victor playing basketball enough. but i REALLY like how they talked about stereotypical 'gay' hobbies and how sports isn't one of them, and sort of touched on what MAKES a gay person, really. i just wish it wasn't "you're the best player on the team, of course they'll accept you" in every show that does this bc like?? why do you have to be the best player on the team to be accepted lmao

- i loved the PFLAG thing and it was great to see ormando being a supportive father!!! so refreshing and great to see and also to contrast the differences in how parents react. it was also great to see simon's dad running it and being super involved long after his son had moved out

- i did hope bram would at least be in the background of the simon scene but i guess we can't have everything

- the mum walking in on victor x benji fucking THE WAY I LITERALLY SCREAMED and then i couldnt even watch the next episode bc i had to go to work LMAO like THE CLIFFHANGER. benji was 100000% in the wrong there, it is NOT homophobic for a parent to be traumatised walking in on their child having sex lol and especially when adrian was home??? it could've been him that walked in sooo

- did my memory fail or was adrian kinda 'feminine' last season ??like he liked frozen and stuff and the grandparents made a comment about it?? what happened to that he literally wasn't anything like that this season it was kinda sad

- also why on earth were victor and benji kissing at work sorry but no matter what sexuality you are and how comfortable you are with PDA that is just?? weird?? like sorry but as a customer i would feel so uncomfortable like am i intruding lmao. a kiss hello and goodbye when you're starting and finishing is fine and cute but in between serving customers and making coffees and shit is so unnecessary lol

- where was victor and felix's friendship this season?? like he stayed in his house after a traumatic life event and they didn't talk about it?? they only talked when they were going through love triangles like thats it??

i saved this as a draft the other day and forgot what else i was gonna add so i'll end here lol!!

[talyas-train-blog]

Can you please make some dating headcanons for the Star Tugs, please? (You can do the Z-Stacks later if you want to)

*screaming* IM BACK

I've been working on this for like 2 months, it sat in my drafts box for about a month and a half with just TenCents' and then Big mac was added like a month ago LMAO

Why not make it an even longer post?👀

Star Tugs, Z-Stacks character relationship headcanons

Sorry about the massive post ya'll hope you enjoy

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Star Tugs

Tencents

General

Very loving throughout the whe relationship but can be very hardheaded/stubborn.

Will bring you flowers when ever he can or leaves notes on your door/office.

Loves to cuddle and watch movies at night.

Favorite dates are sitting at the end of the doc and talking with you.

Beginning of relationship

Thought that you would never like him or want to date him so be kind of acted cruel when feelings arose.

And then something happened

You were pushed off one of the tugs once and without thinking TenCents dove into the frigid water after you and pulled you out.

He held you in his arms until medical personnel could show up and he broke down when you left in an ambulance.

He showed up to the hospital the next day with flowers and when he saw the tubes and wires he cried

Throughout your stay he cringed a little as tubes and such were taken out.

He stayed by your side and held your hand until you woke up and kissed you the minute he could.

He told you how much he loved you and how he felt so bad for being such an ass and he ended up spending the night curled up in your hospital bed with you.

Oj and Hercules still have the photos

Big Mac

General

Veey sweet man

Loves to tease you though so be prepared.

Will give you kisses on the cheek as a way to show love or as a goodbye if he's in a rush.

Kind of protective, specifically when it comes to the Z stacks.

Beginning of relationship

You never expected him to have feelings for you. Not because he does what TenCents does, but because he shows his love in ways that you really have to look for.

You work with him? He'll help you and work with you whenever he can.

You live with the fleet? Will try and help you with meals or cleaning or just keep you company.

He vents to you a lot and thats another way you can tell you've learned his trust.

When he asks you out it's more or less a "would you like to see a movie together?" Or something along the lines of that.

Your first "date" was very sweet and he did did his best to spoil you and make you feel comfortable.

The first time he said i love you, you bith looked at eachother stunned and then smiled

10/10 amazing man.

Otis Jones (O.J)

General

Very sweet and traditional lover.

Will compliment everything, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, you hands, anything he can compliment he will atleast twice.

Is traditional in the sense that you aren't officially dating until he takes you out a few times

Holds your hands and give you kisses on your knuckles whenever

He also does this little thing that if your hands are scuffed or dried he'll put lotion on them for you.

Beginning of relationship

Very upfront with his feelings as he knows that keeping them hidden can only hurt your relationship with eachother.

Very politely asks you while making dinner or cleaning the dishes with you.

Doesn't want to tell anyone until your officially together and comfortable with it.

As i said before he wants to take you out and test the waters a few times to see how you feel about dating.

Brings you daisies and always holds your hand when showing you something.

Top Hat

General

Shows his love through buying gifts and surprisingly, dancing!

Is like Otis in the sense that he wants to take you out a few times before being official.

Little side note, your first kiss was on the stern of his boat as the sun went down to the song You Send Me by Sam Cooke during a party.

Beginning of Relationship

Grampus and Billy were the first to find out and Tophat was slightly pissed.

His love language is very much physical touch and buying gifts so things like slow dancing, soft touches, and new jewelry.

Kind of rubs that whole thing in Hercules' face

Doesn't want kids but very much loves yours if you have them or your nieces and nephews.

If you have siblings he will definitely have a drink with them and have long conversations with them so long as they are smart and can be sarcastic.

You have a promise ring with it, it's a thing for if he ever has to go out to sea you know he's with you.

Plans on marrying you as you are the only person he's been very attached to.

Warrior

General

Very much a himbo but he loves you so much.

Fell very hard very very quick and Big Mac kimd of teased him for it but definitely cheered him on.

Very very in love with you and was the first to say I love you.

Beginning of relationship

Isn't good at dancing or with his words so he told you he loved you by writing it out in a letter.

Walks down the docks while you take about your day and how you're feeling are his favorite "dates".

Loves to hear you laugh so very much, it never fails to make him smile.

Will give you kisses randomly and that's how the rest of the fleet found out.

He had a job with SunShine and as a way to say good bye he ran up to you, grabbed you, and kissed you and ran.

50/10 very loving and genuine man.

Hercules (my most developed character LMAO)

General

O h t h i s m a n i s a f l i r t .

Lives to make you flush.

Gave you a necklace with a photo of him and TenCents in it (TC is basically his son).

Gave you little hints that he was smitten with you right off the bat.

Wasn't afraid to ask you to dinner but you weren't official as he wanted to test the water bc past relationships went to hell.

Everyone knew he had actual feelings for you, he was sweeter on you and seemed to trust you more, and smile at you more than the others and is always more goofy around you.

Beginning of relationship

Took you to a bar to go dancing and the song Sh-Boom - Life Could Be A Dream came on and when he dipped you at the end of the song he kissed you and held you close as the next song came on, foreheads pressed together.

Definitely sleeps with you in his arms every night and his two cats sleep with you. (TenCents and Sunshine have konked out with guys a few times.

Dates where you lay out a blanket in a field and read or look at the stars are very common (he does this thing when if you're on your stomach reading he'll lay his head on your thighs or ass)

Again, lives to make you blush and he'll do basically anything to make you turn as red as TenCents' Scarf.

Loves to dance and sing.

Dusk is sometimes spent dancing on his boat.

Loves to dance to hound dog with you

Sunshine

General

Relatively mature lover.

Very gentle and sweet on you and loves to make you laugh and smile.

Could be covered in grease or dust after work and would still bring you flowers or a sea shell he found if he got the chance.

"Oh boy, here comes lover boy Sunshine!" -tophat

Big mac definitely soothed him into telling you about his feelings.

Beginning of relationship

Very nervous to tell you and stuttered a little when talking to you.

Grabbed your hand by accident one day and thats when you turned to him and told him you had feelings for him.

Poor man almost passed put and fell into the water out of pire relief.

Nights spent watching movies or sitting on the beach talking about dumb things together are his favorite ways to spend time with you.

Z-stacks

Zorran

General

Oh god you never thought he had feelings for you.

He was a complete asshole and seemed to live pissing you off.

So when he asked you out you were stunned and almost turned him down, but decided you would give it a shot.

Very difficult man, but he was a lot softer on you after a little while.

Beginning of relationship

This relationship definitely started by you snapping at him over something hime dod and him leaning down to your face and saying something like "well aren't you a cutie"

You just about smacked him and then it settled in that he was basically flirting with you.

First date consisted of a walk down the streets of San Francisco (yes this au is in SF CA bite me.)

He took you into a shop and pointed out a cat stuffie that you said looked like one you had when you were little and he bought it for you with a red bow on it a few days later.

His love language is definitely gifts.

Zebedee (my love)

General

Absolutely lover man

Basically the Hercules of the Z-stacks just a little harder to read.

Has a son. His name is Zip. You are a parent now.

Zebedee was brought up in a weird house hold so he works very hard to make sure you are comfortable and he doesnt make the relationship miserable.

Beginning of relationship

Was quite open about the whole thing and surprisingly practically cussed out Zorran when he started with his shit.

Very much a sweetheart and would do anything with you if he could.

Zak

General

Dickwad. Doesn't know how to show his love for you, but it's there.

Shows his love by being protective and always being aroune basically.

Very rarely actually smiles but when he does cherish the fucking moment.

Beginning of relationship

"Sir wtf everyone thinks you hate them" kind of vibe.

Thought he just wanted to get to know you but now you're a week into the relationship and holy fuck i want to get married.

Wants to hold your hand most of the time and just hear your voice.

Zug

General

Little bit of an asshole but tries his best

Buys you little things like journals if you like to write or seeds if you have a garden.

Wears ties and always has you pick them out and if you aren't around he wears the one with your favorite flowers or colors on it.

Beginning of relationship

Teases you and acts like a big man when you first get together but then he realizes how much he loves you and becomes a big softy.

Loves to cuddle randomly and Zorran is a little piss baby about it

Loves everything about you, especially your eyes and he always makes it known.

Zip

General

Kind of a ditz but you have to love him for it.

He was a stuttering mess when he told you he had caught feelings and held out a single sunflower for you to take.

Loves to lay his hedon your lap as you play with his hair and talk or watch a movie.

Likes to write stories, a lot of them involve you, and he reads them to you! He's a very good writer and so many of his characters are really well developed and beautifully designed.

He has a little brother named Zacary (Xacary?) and his brother often helps Zip set dates and such up

Beginning of relationship

I have a little headcanon that Zip might have partial autism but he has ADHD and he was abused as a kid so the relationship is a little rough for him at first.

Adjusting to the whole thing of hey they love me, i love them, i can trust them.

But as he warms up he helps more, and dances with you more, and begins to really thrive in the relationship.

Is definitely in love with you even if he forgets to tell you some days.

He's trying his hardest, give him a little time

Zorran definitely had feelings for you qnd was pissy when you fell for Zip and Zip fell for you

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Gonna add Boomer, Lillie, Billy, Grampus, and Cappy on later in a reblog.

[troop52]

do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)