#sorry it’s my first time posting in a while I’ve been having a stressful couple of months but I’m trying to get to the rating when I can

[dakotafoxart]

“Hollywood” 🥀 Johnnie Guilbert

[sparklysung]

✨MEDDLE ABOUT – s.j.y.✨

© sparklysung – 2024. all rights reserved. no reposts, modifications and/or translations allowed.

pairing – sim jaeyun x female!reader

genre – smut | non-idol!au, university!au, strangers to lovers!au

warnings – kinda dom!reader (?), awkward!jake, oral (f. receiving), a bit of grinding maybe (?), mentions of alcohol and weed, pet names (mainly pup or puppy), physics major!jake, chemistry major!reader, reader calls jake a nerd lol. lmk if i forgot something!

word count – 2.370 words

summary – the one where jake ends up on his knees, eating you out after meeting you in a crowded bar. 

note – so i guess i’m back? from the dead? i’m so sorry if anyone cares that i literally for like a hot minute:’) i’m approaching the end of my university program so i’ve been super busy in the past couple years. stressed? all day every day. wanting to graduate asap? hell yeah. anyway, this was obviously inspired by meddle about – chase atlantic since i’ve been obsessed with them lately. pls lmk what you guys think, i’m trying to get back into writing and this is the first piece i’ve been able to finish so far lol. but pls be kind with me or i’ll cry lol i’m really anxious about posting again but fuck it we ball. this was also not proofread so ignore the errors if you find any lol. also lmk what y’all think about maybe starting a playlist type of series? with different idols and songs?

well, come and get it now,

when jake agreed to go bar hopping on a regular wednesday night with his friend group, he was not expecting the chain of events that would lead to where he was now. 

sure, he was hoping for a good time, especially since wednesdays were designated ‘dollar beers’ and the usually expensive alcoholic drinks were at a more accessible price. it was the perfect opportunity for broke college students to go out and get drunk while on a budget. 

that was why he did not put up much of a fight when jay let him know about their plan for the night, quickly coming to terms with the idea that he was going to have to show up to class horribly hungover. he knew no matter how many excuses he offered, jay was not going to take no for an answer. 

so, at 8 pm, jake took one last look at himself in the mirror, psyching himself up for what the night had prepared for him, before heading to jay’s place. 

come and get it now. 

“you made it.���

jay commented as soon as he propped the door to his apartment open, a satisfied smirk adorning his face. 

jake trailed behind his friend like a lost puppy, a bit anxious and painfully sober. once they reached the nicely decorated living room, the group was finally complete. 

by the look of it –if the others’ flushed cheeks were something to go by–, the night had already begun. 

his friends were chatting loudly, the sound of laughter and alcoholic beverages being passed around filled the otherwise neat area. the cold night air made him shudder as he joined the group, the smell of weed coming from the balcony making his lungs burn. 

baby, show me what you’re doing, 

before he knew it, jake found himself surrounded by sweaty bodies, the stuffy air enhancing the effect of the weed he had smoked earlier. the music blasting out of the multiple speakers scattered around the bar, the bass making his body feel numb. 

jake joined his friends, dancing with not a single care in the world, the concerns about school quickly slipping out of his intoxicated mind. 

it felt great to finally be able to relax for once. 

however, just as he was starting to enjoy the night, he somehow managed to make a fool of himself. 

“fuck,” jake yelp, utterly embarrassed. “i’m so sorry, i swear i didn’t mean to spill your drink!”

come and turn around. 

“you can make it up to me by getting me a new one?”

the sound of your melodic voice made his head tilt upwards, following the source, shame washing over his body when he got a look at you. 

you were hot. 

a little stunned by your pretty face, he struggled to say something. 

“o-of course!” he blurted out a little too loudly for comfort, and jake’s cheeks grew hot when you giggled at his awkwardness. 

we only met each other just the other day,

“i take it this is not your scene?” you wondered out loud, obviously trying to start a conversation with the cute boy. 

“uh, something like that,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head, visibly nervous. “i don’t usually go out on weekdays, especially when i have class morning classes the next day.”

“i see,” you hummed, thinking about your own morning classes tomorrow. but who cared, right? have fun now and deal with the consequences later. 

“so, uh, what’s your program?” you smiled to yourself at his attempt at keeping the conversation alive, relieved to know he interested in you enough to engage with you.  

“chemistry.”

his eyebrows shot up at your words, impressed. 

“no way, i wasn’t expecting that.”

“yeah? what’s yours?”

“physics.”

you gasped loudly, feigning shock, and he smiled abashedly. 

“good thing i’m into nerds.”

but you already got me feeling some type of way. 

you were so bold with your words, so smooth with the way you flirted with him. your honey-like voice had him blindly agreeing with you, almost in a trance-like state. you could be asking him to trade his soul for a chicken nugget and he would instantly agree, no questions asked. 

the way you blinked at him, long lashes fluttering so innocently as your glazed over eyes stared straight through him, spiking up his heart rate. your body leaned closer with his every word, fingers toying with a loose strand of your silky hair in such an endearing way his fuzzy mind could not comprehend. 

it had to be illegal to be this attractive. 

and you were guilty as charged. 

now, if i could figure it out,

one thing led to another and soon your lips were on his plush ones, leaving a kiss that felt like a cup of hot chocolate in the winter. warm and sweet. 

jake was able to shake off the initial surprise and deepened the kiss. one hand found its way into the nape of your head, pulling you closer, and the other to the small of your back. his touch was hot and reassuring, allowing you to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours. 

your short dress rode up revealing more of your thighs as you reached for his broad, strong shoulders for support, your weight leaning on his athletic body. and to your delight, you could already feel the hardening bulge in his pants. 

he pulled away, his breathing uneven and lips swollen, appearing dazed. 

“wanna get out of here?”

i’d take you back to my house so we can meddle about. 

jake barely managed to lock the door before you were pushing him against it, arms going to wrap around his neck to bring him in for a kiss. your hungry lips on his, your hot body against him, the scent of your perfume. the combination of sensations overwhelming his senses and leaving him panting for air. 

he couldn’t get enough of you. 

jake noted to thank jay later for almost dragging him out of his house. 

your ministrations, the gentle but eager touch of your hands and your searing lips on his sensitive neck had jake struggling to keep up, far too aroused to think straight. his pants had become considerably tighter since he met you earlier. and he couldn’t help but push his hips into yours, searching for some much needed relief. 

the giggle you let out at his desperate attempt at humping you had a frustrated whimper almost escaping the poor boy. 

so pretty.

“aw, is my puppy getting impatient?” you asked in the most taunting tone, getting off on teasing him. 

“y/n, please, i need something,” jake pleaded, cock throbbing in his jeans. “anything.”

and who were you to deny such a polite boy?

somehow you both managed to stumble into his room, hands never leaving the other. 

‘cause it’s not just a figure of speech,

jake’s body fully sprawled on the bed trembled when you brought a hand to cup the tent in his jeans. his groans only grew louder, raw with desire as you slipped your hand under the fabric and made direct contact with his length. 

jake thought he was having a fever dream from how stupidly hot his body felt. each caress of your soft hands had him weak on the knees, hips bucking to follow your touch, not caring about how needy he seemed. 

your panties were drenched as you felt him up, mouth watering at the thought of his dick fucking your throat until you choked. 

but that could wait. what you needed right now was his mouth on your dripping core. 

you got me down on my knees. 

“fuck, please,” he whined, “let me taste you.”

jake looked at you from his place on the floor, looking all desperate to get his hands on you. you could see his pretty eyes shining even in the darkness, a glint of need letting you know just how much he wanted you. 

slowly, you lifted your dress to reveal your underwear, your fingers teasing the hem of the garment. 

he swallowed, his mouth uncomfortably dry. his own fingers itched to reach for you and get your panties off himself, too eager to get more of you to wait.

your eyes scanned the boy in front of you, eyebrows scrunched together, a bead of sweat dripping down his temple. despite your limited vision, you could easily make out the outline of his cock in his pants. you almost wanted to jump straight into business just to get a look, wondering what shade of pink it was.

key word: almost. 

“what’s wrong, puppy?” you teased, biting back a smirk. when he only huffed in response, you decided to push further. “speak up, sim, i asked you a question.”

his hard cock twitched from the confines of his jeans at your tone. 

you looked annoyed, tapping your foot impatiently as you waited for an answer. 

“i need you, please,” his words came out slurred, too horny to care. 

you nodded, raising a brow at him. “it wasn’t that hard now, was it?”

his body almost vibrated with excitement when you pulled your panties down your legs. you stepped closer to him once they hit the floor, and his eyes immediately shot to the discarded piece of clothing, breathing getting heavier when he found the wet patch at the crotch. 

among the wide range of traits you possessed, liar wasn’t one of them. the sight of him, on his knees, begging to please you, had you rubbing your thighs together. your neglected core dripping with arousal. 

“be a good pup and eat me out.”

jake perked up as soon as his brain processed your words, scooting closer without a care for his knees. he hummed when you gasped at the feeling of his tongue licking a stripe up your slit. 

it’s getting harder to breathe out. 

jake groaned when you pushed his head closer, his nose digging into your pussy and putting pressure on your clit. his hands immediately went to grab at your thighs, gripping them for dear life. 

he was enamoured with the way your hips bucked into his mouth, your plush lips letting moans escape. it was like music to his ears. 

girl, just scream it out,

jake could barely breathe but he didn’t care. all he could think about was the intoxicating scent of your arousal, how sweet you tasted on his tongue. he could feel a mixture of your juices and his saliva drip down his neck, and he felt like he was about to cum in his pants like a bitch in heat. 

his hips desperately humped the air, too engrossed in making you cum all over his face to feel embarrassed. your fingers tangled in his soft locks, tugging at the roots whenever his tongue swiped just right only egging him on to work harder. 

tell me what you’re thinking about. 

“j-jake,” you whined, feeling the knot in your stomach tightening at the speed of light. “don’t stop.”

bet, he thought. 

if the way your thighs were trembling around his head was something to go by, he knew you were close. 

feeling you fall apart just from his mouth only was driving him insane. he couldn’t wait to see you take his cock, velvety walls stretched around his thickness. he wanted to hear your sweet moans as you struggled to fit him whole, pussy too tight for such a big dick. 

hell, just the idea if it had jake eating you out like he would never get pussy ever again. his skilled tongue poked at your entrance, trying to push it as far as he could, relishing in the squelching sounds filling the room. 

“fuck,” he moan into your pussy when you pulled his hair a little harsher than before, the vibrations directly against your clit sending you over the edge. 

you swore your mind blanked out for a second there. your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, leaving you light headed. your body convulsed as if you were experiencing a demonic possession first hand, hips humping jake’s face like a rabid dog, riding out your high. and if it weren’t for jake’s grip on you, you would’ve hit the floor. 

once you regained a hint of control over your body, you pushed his head away from your sensitive core. 

to your satisfaction, jake looked as equally as fucked out as you. his once pristine shirt was now clinging to his toned body due to the sweat, his dark hair disheveled and sticking to his forehead. his pupils were blown out, chest heaving up and down at a concerningly fast pace. 

you had him exactly how you liked men, utterly ruined. 

with a sly grin on your face, you pulled him back up on his feet by his shirt. before he could yelp, your lips crashed against his in a heated kiss. jake stumbled towards you, unintentionally pressing your body into the cold wall behind you.

his hands grabbed your hips to pull you impossibly closer, need to feel more of you. your fingers wandered back to his hair, playing with the strands of silky hair and hissing against your lips when you pulled a little too hard. 

his body felt like it had been lit on fire, the touch of his large hands almost burning you, leaving behind an invisible outline of his hand on your skin. the kiss you shared grew more passionate, more desperate with each passing moment, your tongues waltzing to the pace of your fast-beating hearts. 

although you were enjoying the heated exchange, you both needed more. 

no, i wanna see you undress now. 

you hastily removed your clothes, tossing them somewhere in the room. jake followed suit, matching your eagerness, ready to pounce on you the moment he got the chance. 

soon you found yourselves all over each other once again, hands touching and feeling up the other’s body, lips finding each other with a growing intensity. 

jake placed you on his bed, looking down at you like you just escaped his wildest dreams. 

i wanna hear you confess now. 

“i want you to fuck me, jake.”

–lia:)

[eyeheartboobiez]

-> 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗑 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

-> 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎!

-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 6!! 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗂𝗍💕

liked by bigdickgrayson, cass.cain, and others

@rred_hood: hey guys. sorry for the radio silence, but i needed some time to figure things out w/ everything that’s been going on. just to give a quick update: these past few months i’ve been working on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. mostly though, i need to re-evaluate the people i allow to be in my life vs. the people i actually want around.

as you all know, artemis and i were seen out together a couple of months back, despite our very toxic relationship in the past. i’ve mentioned her abuse towards me here and there before, but now i wanna set the record straight.

me and artemis were NEVER happy. point blank. the first few months of our relationship seemed amazing, sure, but every moment after that felt like hell on earth. im not gonna go into the specifics of her treatment towards me (bcs frankly it’s not anyone’s business but mine), but the only reason we met up last month was to hopefully make peace with what happened during the time we were together.

as for the copyright situation and my alleged involvement in it; everything will be revealed before of the judge. while im legally not allowed to speak on it at this time, i will go ahead and apologize in advance for the news you’ll be hearing in the upcoming days…

before i post this, though, i publicly want to say this: @y/nforeal im GENUINELY sorry for any of the pain or stress all of this has caused you. i betrayed your trust, and have absolutely no expectations for you to forgive me. believe it or not, every second of our time together felt like pure bliss, and you’re the last person i ever wanted to hurt. i sincerely hope that you get everything you’ve ever dreamed of in life, regardless of whether i get to be part of the journey, or have to cheer you on from afar.

to end off, anyone who really supports me knows idc to involve myself in drama, so please, all i ask is that you be patient with me as i figure out a way to right my wrongs. peace✌🏻

View all 1,521,791 comments

user1: all the jason antis looking mad goofy rn💀

⤷ user2: this man js opened up about his trauma and you’re staring fan wars… get a life fr

user3: praying for ur peace jay🙏

user4: yea enough is enough artemis need to be locked up for life

⤷ user5: matter fact, put her under the jail

user6: i just hope that y/n understands🙁

— comments were turned off —

Case Closed, Artemis Grace headed straight to the slammer! Where does this leave us now? (2/27/2023 1:42 PM PT)

From TikTok, to Instagram; almost all of social media has been flooded with people's response to the verdict of one of the biggest cases in Hollywood right now. Fans all over the internet have been posting nothing but support of the court's ruling. The hashtag "#WHOMPWHOMP" has even found itself trending on twitter in response to Artemis' behavior displayed throughout the trial.

The celeb's unsavory etiquette is nothing new though. From sobbing in the witness stand, to lashing out at her own lawyer, Artemis has shown nothing but discomposure since the day charges were pressed against her. But, for everyone new here, let's start from the beginning.

For those who may not have been keeping up with the story, back in September, acclaimed singer Y/N Y/LN took legal action against Artemis Grace on the grounds of copyright infringement. After months of speculation, investigators found that Grace had illegally distributed a song that had absolutely no business being in her possession in the first place.

Although the track was taken very favorably by fans and casual listeners alike, the actual artist was nowhere near pleased. Once sharing her feelings about the situation online, Y/N immediately put her emotions into a new album, the same album that led her to receive the first grammy of her career.

Aside from the copyright violation though, Artemis is also being sued for causing emotional distress in regards to all the drama she got wrapped up in with her ex-boyfriend, Jason Todd.

While Jason and Y/N were presumed to have been dating since March of last year (if not earlier), that fantasy was quickly ruined when Artemis and Todd were caught being uncomfortably close with each other outside of a club last August.

Of course, many fans on both sides were reasonably hurt by the news. Those who have been following Y/N for a while now may know that she has had trouble opening up to people in the past; something she has expressed quite a bit in her music. So, when word broke out that Jason seemed to be playing with her feelings, her supporters were beyond furious.

Even songwriter Cassandra Cain, Jason's adopted sister, made sure to support Y/N in every way that she could. The two have been friends for years now, having officially met back in 2020 at the billboard music awards. While Cassandra isn't a woman of many words, she made sure that her actions spoke volumes.

Late last year, she helped Y/N write one of the songs for her latest album, basically ensuring her win at this year's Grammys. Outside of music though, posts have been made by the two besties seemingly having the time of their lives.

Between the high emotions and the immense camaraderie being shown, fans have come to the conclusion that both women may have gotten together at some point while working together.

Without a doubt, there was an obvious tension between the duo while doing promotions for their shared single. Cassandra, though a notable lesbian icon in the community, has yet to speak up on the rumors (and, knowing her, probably never will).

Back to the legal proceedings, the heartbreaker in question was also present during Artemis' trial. In order to shed some light on the story, Jason Todd appeared before the court as a witness in hopes of ensuring that Y/N wins this case.

Unlike Artemis, Jason showed nothing but absolute remorse for his actions. About a month ago, the Gothamite made a post to his instagram page detailing the shame he felt by being involved in such acts, although in reality he had little participation to begin with.

While on trial, it was found that Todd actually had little to no involvement with the illegal distribution of the track. In fact, Artemis herself confessed that he only talked about Y/N having a song that was "in the works". He also revealed to her that the track was "something his girlfriend (had) dedicated it to him", thus confirming our suspicions of their relationship status.

Alongside this, she also admitted that their meet up back in August originally had nothing to do with music, nor were they trying to rekindle their disastrous affair. Jason did state that he was notably intoxicated that night, while Artemis indicated that she "hadn't had anything to drink" prior to their conversation.

In the end, after the grueling legal battle, Artemis is soon to be locked up after receiving a firm guilty ruling from the judge. The now former singer has been sentenced to three years in prison without possibility of parole, in addition to paying $25,000 as compensation for emotional distress.

Outside the courtroom Y/N and Jason were seen speaking together away from everyone else, as well as sharing a meaningful hug before parting ways. The heartwarming image that was caught by paparazzi has given shippers more than enough hope that the two celebs can hopefully rekindle the love they once had.

a/n: thoughts?

taglist: @din0o0o @cipheress-to-k-pop @bonnie-tz @phatnyash420 @rwylm-things @sheluvv-gambino

[hellsitedotcom]

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*·˚ PRETEND IT'S THE FIRST TIME ft. Moze *·˚

words: ~4k

This is a "continuation" of those First Kiss headcanons I made a while ago! [Linked in my pinned post] I literally lost my mind with this, and I'm unsure how I feel about it, but I've spent too long on it to just...not post it. [Also on AO3]

warnings/info: first part of the chapter features Guinaifen as your friend; I don't think any warnings necessary? maybe some angst, but I don't want what really qualifies as angst. [Is it obvious that I never post my writing and have no idea how to tag it?]

English isn't my native language!

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‘’Hello? Are you even listening to me?’’ 

Torn from your thoughts when someone suddenly started waving a hand in front of your face, you blinked in surprise before glancing over at the woman walking beside you, her expression a mixture of frustration and confusion. ‘’I feel like I’ve been talking to myself for the last hour,’’ Guinaifen huffed, crossing her arms while waiting for an explanation from you, ‘’Did you even catch any of the things I said?’’

‘’I’m sorry, Gui,’’ you sighed, offering her an apologetic smile before straightening up, ‘’I was just…thinking about something.’’ That was one way to explain it. You had been thinking about said ‘’something’’ for the past couple of days, and it had become apparent to anyone with a functioning pair of eyes. Even your colleagues at work had commented on your absentmindedness, given how clumsy and forgetful it had made you since…that day.

Next to you, Guinaifen shook her head, though there was no ill-intend in her reaction, ‘’I’ve noticed that much. I’m telling you, you need to work less. The stress is probably just getting to you.’’ ‘’When I picked you up this morning, I had your neighbors come up to me to ask if you were okay,’’ she sighed, staring at you, ‘’He said you haven’t left your apartment for anything but work in days. What’s going on?’’

You weren’t sure yourself, you thought. Since your transfer to the Yaoqing, your life had actually improved tremendously. You couldn’t remember the last time you were that excited and happy on the Luofu, and you hadn’t mourned your old life since. Yet recently, you felt like you were again stuck in that same everyday routine you had dreamed of escaping from back on the other flagship. And all because of one dumb, intrusive decision.

‘’I don’t know,’’ you sighed, hoping your friend wouldn’t catch the lie, ‘’It’s not work, I promise. I’ve never had a job I loved that much.’’ ‘’Maybe my subconsciousness is trying to tell me something,’’ you suggested, shrugging, ‘’I mean, it’s been a while since I was on the Luofu. Maybe I’m homesick without realizing it.’’ 

At that, the woman beside you just chuckled, throwing an arm around you to pull you into a side hug, ‘’Well, see what happens when you never visit! Huohuo and the others miss you.’’ Much to your relief, Guinaifen didn’t notice the lie, or at least, she didn’t call you out if she did. Instead, she began recalling recent stories from the Luofu as if trying to help your alleged ‘’homesickness’’. 

‘’You know, I’m sure even the General would appreciate seeing you again,’’ she hummed as you made your way back to your apartment, ‘’Actually, I was hoping to drag Sushang and Huohuo along with me, but that didn’t really work out. That’s on me, though. I should’ve planned it better.’’ 

You chuckled as you continued listening to her, this time determined not to get distracted again as you watched her. Something about the woman’s optimism and endless energy helped lift your mood, silencing the overbearing thoughts in your head, though another emotion threatened to plague you now: Guilt. Keeping secrets from your close friends was never easy, but how were you supposed to explain to her what had happened? 

By the time you arrived at the alley leading to your apartment, you felt lighter, the best you had in days. ‘’Anyway, I’m sure Sushang will want to tell you herself,’’ Guinaifen huffed, stepping in front of you, ‘’You really need to visit us soon. We need to get the group back together again! And don’t tell me Feixiao won’t let you leave!’’

‘’Well, I’ve not really talked to her in a while,’’ you admitted sheepishly, avoiding your friend’s eyes. ‘’But,’’ you quickly added, hoping to distract from that topic, ‘’I’ll see what I can do, okay? I can’t promise you anything, though.’’

You breathed a sigh of relief when the woman didn't question your words, merely rolling her eyes before she continued talking about yet another thing on her mind. Watching her head toward your apartment, you hesitated to follow when the sudden feeling of being watched made your skin crawl. Is someone there?

A glance over your shoulder toward the empty street behind you didn’t help calm your nerves, yet before you could look around any further, Guinaifen’s voice called out to you, ‘’And you’re not paying attention again. Seriously, what’s going on with you?’’

There it was again, that guilt plaguing you. You checked the street behind you one last time before walking over to your friend, an apologetic expression on your face. ‘’I’m sorry,’’ you sighed, fiddling with your hands, ‘’I just- had this feeling someone was watching us. I didn’t mean to ignore you.’’

‘’Why would someone be watching us?’’ the woman huffed with a raised brow, ‘’Besides, even if someone was watching us, why care? It’s not like we’re breaking any rules.’’ ‘’Are you sure that everything’s alright?’’ she insisted, her usually relaxed expression now serious. 

‘’No- I mean, yes, I- Fuck,’’ you just groaned, dragging your hands down your face, ‘’I don’t know. I’m not even sure how to explain it. It’s ridiculous, really.’’ Before she could ask any further questions, you pushed past her toward your home, ‘’It’s really not that important. I just made a dumb mistake, and it’s kind of been haunting me ever since.’’

Guinaifen was far from convinced as she caught up to you, blocking your way, ‘’Oh, come on now! I’ve seen you make dozens of mistakes before. You never act this way because of a stupid mistake! Spill it, what happened?’’ 

‘’I made a mistake in a conversation,’’ you tensely elaborated, wrapping your arms around yourself, ‘’I…said the wrong thing, and I’ve not had the chance to fix it yet. H- They’ve been avoiding me since then, I guess.’’ Or maybe you’ve been avoiding him, no? Suddenly, the feeling of being watched made you even more nervous. Was he watching you?

Your friend perked up at your response, her interest piqued, ‘’What do you mean, you said the wrong thing? How bad of a thing could you have possibly said?’’ Oh, guilt was a beautiful feeling, wasn’t it? Especially with how strong it was growing the more you talked to Guinaifen. 

‘’Well,’’ you struggled to find an answer, unsure how to continue building on your lie as your face turned red, ‘’I- urgh, fuck. I didn’t really say something wrong, you know. I…did something wrong? I made a dumb, intrusive decision-’’

‘’Oh my god,’’ the woman interrupted, her eyes wide, ‘’You kissed someone.’’ 

‘’How did you deduce that from one sentence?’’

‘’...I didn’t. I just thought it would be a funny reaction,’’ Guinaifen smirked, winking at you before the realization settled in, ‘’Wait, you kissed someone?! Who?!’’

‘’Keep your voice down!’’ you whisper-yelled, covering her mouth with your hand, ‘’Fucks sake, Gui. I don’t need the entire Yaoqing to know about it!’’ After making sure she wouldn’t start screaming again, you took a step back and sighed, ‘’He’s a good friend. We were…hanging out, I guess, and I got caught up in the moment and had this intrusive thought to just…yeah, and now I’ve not seen him since then.’’

‘’Oh. Oh wow,’’ the woman seemed at a loss for words, processing the information you just shared, ‘’I mean, uhm. Well, have you tried texting him?’’ 

‘’Seriously?’’ ‘’What?’’ she huffed defensively, pouting, ‘’I’ve never had that happen to me. I’m a little lost right now, okay?’’

‘’Well, you’re not the only one,’’ you muttered under your breath, walking toward your apartment door, ‘’I was hoping that maybe he told Feixiao about it, but she doesn’t seem to know anything. Jiaoqiu’s been acting like he knows something, but- yeah.’’ 

At that, Guinaifen’s mouth fell open, ‘’Wait. I need you to repeat what you just said.’’ Yet, before you could, the woman herself did it, ‘’You were hoping that he told Feixiao? As in, the General? You kissed the General’s friend?!’’

‘’Technically, he’s her personal Shadow Guard,’’ you admitted under your breath, wincing when Guinaifen screamed.

‘’What?!’’ 

‘’I told you to keep your voice down!’’

‘’How do you expect me to keep my voice down after telling me all this?!’’ she whisper-yelled, flailing her hands, ‘’You just- You kissed the General’s personal Shadow Guard?!’’

Well, at least you didn’t feel guilty anymore. You held your hand up to stop the woman from rambling, taking a deep breath before answering, ‘’Can we do this tomorrow, please? I promise I’ll tell you everything, okay? But right now, I’m just getting tired.’’

Despite not being satisfied with your answer, Guinaifen agreed with a deflated groan, ‘’Alright, fine. But I get to tell Sushang and the others-’’

‘’Absolutely not,’’ you scoffed with a raised brow, a warning in your eyes, ‘’I don’t need the entire Xianzhou Alliance to know about this, okay? I’m serious, Gui.’’ ‘’I need you to promise me that you won’t be talking about it with anyone, okay?’’ you insisted, internally already expecting the worst.

But, to your surprise, the woman nodded slowly, ‘’Alright, alright, you have my word. Only because I love you so much!’’ ‘’But that means you’ll have to tell me everything tomorrow, alright?’’ she countered, walking up to you, ‘’I need all the details, understood?’’

‘’Understood,’’ you sighed, struggling to hide your nervousness as you embraced her, ‘’Come on, you should get back to your hotel room. It’s getting late.’’ 

‘’I’ll see you tomorrow then?’’

‘’Yeah,’’ you muttered, a hand resting on your apartment’s doorknob, ‘’See you tomorrow, sunshine.’’ With that, you watched her disappear down the alley before unlocking your front door and slipping inside your apartment.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

‘’Fuck,’’ you groaned, falling back against the wooden door. Well, today didn’t go quite as planned, did it? But then, did any of your recent days? After everything, today was still one of your better days since screwing up your relationship with-

‘’Moze? ’’ 

A little stunned, you blinked, hoping you were just imagining things. Yet, when the man’s silhouette didn’t disappear from your doorway, a nervous chuckle escaped your lips, ‘’What are you doing here? How did you even get inside in the first place?’’ 

‘’Through your balcony door,’’ the man calmly replied, watching you from the shadows of the hallway, ‘’You forgot to lock it.’’

‘’I- And you just decided to let yourself in?’’ you muttered in disbelief, straightening up as you made your way toward him, ‘’How long have you been waiting for me?’’ In the dim light, you could barely make out anything but his eyes, violet orbs watching your every move. 

The man just stood there, seemingly indifferent to the fact that he just trespassed on your property. ‘’Not that long,’’ he just replied, his expression obscured by shadows, ‘’Feixiao told me that you had visitors, so I figured you’d be home somewhat late. I think we got here around the same time.’’

‘’Well, that’s- okay,’’ you sighed before shaking your head and meeting his gaze again, ‘’Listen, I- Can you just give me a minute real quick? I need some water.’’ Today really feels like one big joke, you thought to yourself while pushing past him, careful not to touch him as you headed toward the kitchen, ‘’Do you want anything?’’

The man soundlessly followed after you, his presence unfortunately doing the opposite of offering you comfort, ‘’No, thank you. I don’t want to inconvenience you even further.’’ ‘’And I apologize for not informing you of my visit,’’ he muttered almost hesitantly, leaning against your kitchen wall, ‘’I didn't think of it. I’m sorry.’’

‘’Don’t rack your brains over it,’’ you dismissed his concern, pouring yourself a cup of water, ‘’I mean, I haven’t cleaned the place in days, but you'll have to deal with that now.’’ ‘’Besides,’’ you hummed, taking a sip of water, ‘’I’m sure you’ll gladly help me clean up if I ask nicely enough, no?’’ Is this really the right time for some lighthearted joking? Well, you certainly hoped it would at least ease the awkwardness.

Moze, bless his soul, just furrowed his brows, meeting your gaze, ‘’If you need me to, I can help. I don’t mind.’’ 

‘’Is that why you’re here?’’ you hesitantly asked, turning to face him, ‘’Just for some small talk? I mean, I do appreciate the visit, but it doesn’t usually warrant you breaking into my home.’’ There was a part of you genuinely hoping he’d just share some random information with you before leaving again, but deep down, you knew where this conversation would eventually lead. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have practically avoided each other for the past few days.

And, as expected, Moze confirmed your suspicion. ‘’No, I was hoping we could talk about what happened,’’ he explained, your nervosity growing with each word, ‘’Jiaoqiu thought it might be the best course of action.’’

‘’So, he knows?’’ you hesitantly inquired, tapping your finger on the kitchen counter, ‘’I mean, that we- that I- fuck, Moze, I’m so bloody sorry.’’ You stepped away from the counter, wrapping your arms around yourself as the words uncontrollably spilled from your lips, ‘’I should’ve apologized a lot earlier, I know, but I was just- bloody scared of your reaction.’’

‘’I shouldn’t have kissed you,’’ you sighed, unable to meet his gaze, ‘’I- I’m sorry I made things awkward. I wasn’t thinking, I just-’’ ‘’I should’ve said something first anyway, instead of just- doing it without warning,’’ you continued, waving your hand around, ‘’I don’t know why I did it, okay? I just- fuck.’’

The man merely watched you, waiting for you to finish before gently interrupting your rambling, ‘’I’m not angry.’’ ‘’Not to mention that I didn’t act any better,’’ he reminded you, making you stop in your tracks, ‘’I just left you on that rooftop without saying a word. Jiaoqiu chewed me out for it.’’

‘’I mean, I kissed you without your consent,’’ you muttered, your hands dropping to your sides, ‘’You had every right to just…up and leave. You’re not at any fault here.’’

‘’Well, Jiaoqiu thinks differently,’’ Moze spoke, pushing himself off the wall, ‘’He said I should’ve talked to you sooner.’’ You watched him walk around the kitchen island, keeping a respectful distance from you, ‘’Though, he did call us both idiots.’’

You chuckled, though the sound more hysterical than you intended, ‘’He’s not wrong, is he? I mean- I did kind of fuck that up. I really should’ve just- said something instead of expecting you to do so. I’m sorry, I- suck at this stuff.’’ 

‘’I think we both know I’m not the best at conversations either,’’ he replied, and for a split-second, you thought you caught him smiling at you, ‘’Maybe we should let Jiaoqiu and your friend do this for us.’’

‘’Absolutely not, that’s a horrible idea,’’ you interrupted, the thought alone making you opposed to the idea, ‘’I’d never hear the end of it.’’ ‘’Do you, uh, think Jiaoqiu told Feixiao?’’ you wondered, glancing over at him, ‘’I mean, I doubt he would do it, but you know him better than I do.’’

Moze was quiet for a moment, allowing you to move a little closer to him, ‘’Admittedly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did tell the General, but I trust him enough not to until this is all over. You don’t need to worry about that.’’ 

‘’Oh, I’ll worry regardless,’’ you sighed, rubbing your temples, ‘’I’ve realized I’m really good at that. Worrying, overthinking, the whole thing.’’ ‘’I’ve had people at work come to me these past days to make sure I was alright,’’ there was a self-deprecating tone to your words as you recounted the past days, ‘’And earlier, Gui told me that some of my neighbors approached her to ask about my well-being. Worrying was the only thing I was doing since, you know.’’

In the dimly lit room, you couldn’t make out Moze’s expression as he watched you. Then, unexpectedly, he spoke with a gentleness you had never heard from him before, ‘’I didn’t know this was affecting you so much.’’

Your eyes widened at his words, tearing your gaze from the floor to meet his. For a second, a mixture of fear and uncertainty crossed your face before you collected yourself, clearing your throat, ‘’Well, I thought I screwed up after you just left.’’ Then, you looked away again, your voice more quiet, ‘’I guess I was terrified of losing you.’’

The silence that followed was unbearable to you, a throwback to those nerve-wracking minutes right after you had your first kiss. Internally, you were cursing yourself out, reprimanding yourself for being so open with Moze, but could you really blame yourself?

‘’Can you please say something?’’ you whispered hesitantly, wrapping your arms around yourself, nails digging into the skin of your upper arms, ‘’I’m getting a sense of déjà vu.’’ 

‘’I’m sorry,’’ the man apologized, the gentleness still there, ‘’I should’ve said something back then. I- I guess I panicked. I’ve never-’’ He fell silent before finishing the sentence, pulling his hood down to obscure his face. 

‘’I- I didn’t mean to put you in that position,’’ you quietly muttered, the grip on your arms weakening, ‘’I don’t know why I- There were so many times before that where I was in perfect control of my thoughts and actions, but that day? I can’t even explain it.’’

‘’You wanted to kiss me before?’’ Maybe you should learn when to shut up, no? Moze was already staring at you when you looked up, a storm raging in his violet eyes. 

Hesitantly, you shrugged, taking a deep breath before elaborating, ‘’I guess I did. Do- Do you remember the last Wardance? When…Hoolay escaped.’’ After Moze nodded, you continued, ‘’After everything was over, after I finally found you, I just- yeah. I think that was the first time I wanted to kiss you.’’ 

There it was again: The unbearable silence. Maybe you really shouldn’t admit all these things so openly . But, catching you by surprise in the process, Moze didn’t let it stretch this time, his voice growing unsteadier with each word, ‘’Why didn’t you do it?’’

‘’I- I didn’t think it would’ve been the right moment for it,’’ you muttered with furrowed brows, gesturing around with your hand as if to emphasize your point, ‘’I mean, you were all injured, not to mention the entire Borisin crisis. I didn’t want to add to your problems.’’

‘’You’re never a problem to me,’’ the man replied, straightening up, ‘’I might not be the best at showing it, but I care about you deeply.’’ ‘’Otherwise, I wouldn’t have kissed you back that day, don't you think?’’ he added, his voice quieter.

For a moment, you thought your heart would jump out of your chest, the beating drowning out all the noise around you as you processed his words. He did kiss you back, didn’t he? ‘’I figured maybe you just- I don’t know, had a moment of weakness?’’ you rambled, growing more nervous again, ‘’I mean, I didn't- I know you kissed me back, but I didn’t think it meant anything, I guess.’’

‘’You…thought it didn’t mean anything?’’ ‘’I was panicking, okay!’’ you argued defensively, ‘’I mean, you just disappeared without a word after that, remember? How did you think I’d react?’’ 

Moze didn’t have an answer for that, watching you silently while you continued to ramble, ‘’I’m not blaming you, I swear. I just- there wasn’t really a positive way in which I could’ve reacted to the situation, you know? How would you have reacted if you had been in my shoes?’’

Once again, no answer. Admittedly, you wouldn’t have one either if you were in his shoes. Well, and that’s that on it being an awkward situation. ‘’I feel like I’m just making this worse, aren’t I?’’ you muttered, offering him a weak smile, ‘’I’m sorry. Again. I don’t think I can apologize enough for causing- well, all of this.’’

‘’Did the kiss mean something to you?’’

Moze’s interruption caught you off-guard, eyes widening in surprise. Well, you've already admitted to wanting to kiss him a handful of times before. Confessing your feelings can't possibly lead to a worse outcome, right? ...Right? Truth be told, you weren't really sure what outcome this entire conversation was heading toward anyway, so you might as well be completely honest with him now.

Still, it took you a moment to reply, afraid of being this vulnerable. ‘’I wouldn’t have kissed you if it didn’t,’’ you hesitantly admitted, looking away, ‘’I...care about you, Moze. A lot more than I probably should. More than normal friends should.’’

‘’I think I realized even before the Wardance, but I just- hoped it’ll go away,’’ you chuckled, the sound hollow, ‘’And when it didn’t, I just kept hoping. Which obviously failed, given, you know.’’

You weren’t sure what Moze was thinking, too scared to look at him. Another silence settled between you, making you feel restless as you waited for him to say something. Anything. Please just don’t leave this time.

And he didn’t. Instead, Moze stepped in front of you, tilting your face up to look at him, his violet eyes roaming across your face until he met your gaze, ‘’Can you- Can you kiss me again, please? Pretend it’s the first time?’’ 

His voice was surprisingly soft, barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat. Did you get that right? ‘’You want me to kiss you?’’ you breathed out, a dozen questions running through your head as you stared at him, ‘’Are- Are you sure?’’

‘’I’ve never been this sure about anything else in my life,’’ the man muttered, caressing your cheek, ‘’I’ve noticed that I- felt different around you around the time you got transferred to the Yaoqing, but I didn’t think much of it until…well, recently. The realization didn't hit me until I talked to Jiaoqiu about it and he put it into words for me.’’

‘’Oh’’ 

‘’Is…that all you want to say?’’

‘’To be honest, I never thought I’d be in this situation,’’ you admitted, still processing what he had just told you, ‘’I- I can’t believe I was terrified of losing you like, ten minutes ago, and now we’re…here.’’

‘’That’s…a good thing, isn’t it?’’

‘’I think this a better outcome than I had imagined possible,’’ you huffed, straightening up, ‘’The only thing I need to worry about now is explaining everything to Guinaifen.’’ Then, still shaking from nervousness, you leaned forward, ghosting your lips over his, ‘’May I?’’

‘’...You may.’’

And you did, gently pressing your lips against his as if afraid all this was just your imagination, that he'd vanish the second you touched him. Yet, when his arm wrapped around your waist to pull you closer, you knew you weren’t dreaming. ‘’You’re…really okay with this, right?’’ you whispered between kisses, glancing up at him, ‘’I’m not just hearing what I want to hear?’’

Moze merely responded by pressing his lips to yours again, hand wandering to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss. ‘’You worry too much,’’ he eventually muttered before pressing his forehead against yours.

‘’It’s a talent,’’ you chuckled, slightly out of breath but audibly relieved, ‘’Besides, the only reason I was so worried in the first place were you.’’

‘’May I remind you that you were the one kissing me without warning?’’ ‘’Alright, alright-’’ you groaned, just barely containing your joy, ‘’I’ll never live this down, will I?’’

You freed yourself from Moze’s grasp, turning to head toward your bedroom before stopping and glancing back at him, hesitating, ‘’Do- Do you mind staying for the night? I don’t…want you to leave just yet.’’

‘’If that’s what you want, then of course,’’ the man reassured, ‘’Just don’t start complaining when I wake you up too early.’’

‘’Don’t make me regret this, big guy,’’ you chuckled, offering him your hand while you made your way toward the bedroom, ‘’Thank you, by the way, For…well, everything.’’

‘’Always.’’

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[wambsgansshoelaces]

i loveee you work! i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a roman x reader fic that’s kinda anyone but you vibes where she’s in shiv’s wedding party and her and roman hate each but have to pretend to get along for the weekend. this is so random but i’ve been stuck on this idea lately.

also for music recs i’d totally recommend eliza mclamb, i love her stuff and she has a new album coming out this friday.

xoxo!

Baby’s Breath

Roman Roy x Reader

oneshot

ahh I’m so so sorry this is extremely late!! I promise I’ll do better anons waiting. I hope you like it, though!! I honestly do not have the patience to slowburn but I hope I still wrote what you wanted. thank you so much for requesting, I love you anon <33

I’m also really sorry i haven’t been posting fics recently!! I’m getting to it all haah. I really hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think xxx

also, I listen to eliza mclamb now…

Word Count: 2.557k

“Roman and Y/N, you’re walking together.”

Immediately, the two of you exchange a strained look. You and Shiv are long time friends, having met in elementary school and been attached at the hip ever since. At some point in your life, you were spending more time at the Roy household with Shiv and her siblings then you were with your actual family. You and Kendall got along just fine- he was too quiet for your liking, anyway, and would just listen when you spoke. He’d give you advice in that soft way of his, and to this day you don’t think you’ve ever heard him raise his voice.

Roman, on the other hand?

Every conversation you’ve ever had with him had ended in some sort of argument. It’s not that you necessarily had opposing viewpoints, but rather you both wanted to be heard, almost always at the same time. The two of you have been clashing since the first time you’d gone over to their house, when you’d bickered over who got the pink Wii remote.

You weren’t going to argue over this, though. It was Shiv’s big day, and you were going to make sure it goes exactly how she wants it to. You weren’t going to be the reason she gets stressed out on her wedding day.

She continues on, giving the rundown on the rehearsal dinner. Everyone’s expected to be there at five p.m. sharp, in their places at five thirty.

She and her fiance decided that their wedding was going to be abroad, and your flight out to Athens is tonight. Shiv had gotten the entire bridal and groom’s party together just to go over everything beforehand.

She’d finished speaking a while ago, and you’re now sat scrolling through your notes app making sure you have everything at home ready to take with you to Greece. You were helping Shiv move a few of her things, like a few suitcases of clothing for her honeymoon, and were also bringing a gift for the couple.

You’re absorbed in your mental check listing, but you still feel the couch under you bow a little with the weight of someone sitting down next to you.

“We can get along for the next two weeks, can’t we?”

“I’d hope so, Roman.”

“As long as you don’t instigate anything,” he amends, looking up to meet your gaze.

“If I don’t instigate anything?”

���There you go, instigating.” You suppress a sigh, pressing your lips together, causing him to crack a smile. “So much better.”

“I’m only doing this for Shiv,” you remind him. “As soon as this is all over, I’m going back to praying you get clotheslined.”

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to do the matchy thing.”

“Don’t we have to?”

“I mean, yeah, but I was thinking I get you a corsage, you know? And I put matching flowers in my breast pocket. Maid of honor and best man and everything. So that we look good in photos.” His face pinkens as he speaks, and he’s suddenly unable to look you in the eye.

“I think that’d be cute,” you say honestly. The bridesmaid dresses were a muted lavender, the groomsmen’s suits a deep black. You knew they all had pocket squares to match, but Roman’s suggestion is strangely thoughtful. You like it.

“Okay. Great. I’ll text you,” he manages, pausing a bit to look over at you before getting up and leaving.

And he does.

You’re swaddled in bed, invigorating face mask on before you have to fly nine hours. He’s sent you a screenshot of a Google search on his phone.

help, he sends after it.

The search is just ‘pretty purple flower’.

look into baby’s breath, you send back.

what the fuck

is that a fucking flower

yes

what a godawful name

There’s a short pause as he presumably searches it up. He sends you another screenshot, this time of rows of photos of the flower.

yeah, those

can i find them here?

You don’t know why he’s asking you, but you respond.

probably

you’re already in athens?

but what if i can’t?

yeah, flew out after shiv’s town hall

then order fake ones online

god, you’re not very helpful

You think he’s done texting, but he sends you another five minutes later.

fuck you

You have to get to the airport bright and early the next morning. You can barely blink the sleep away from your eyes as you shuffle to your terminal, having checked your obscene amount of luggage with the help of a scary looking driver the Roys employ.

You’re bored out of your mind as you wait impatiently in line to board the plane. Shiv had gotten you a first-class ticket, so you at least had that to look forward to.

You’re delighted when you get on the plane and find a massive, plush seat waiting for you. You stick your carry-on into the overhead compartment and relax.

You sleep through the entire flight. Your seat converted into a bed, and you were provided with the softest pillow and blanket you’ve ever touched. You fell asleep the minute your eyes shut.

You don’t realize something’s wrong until you’re inside the airport.

Since you’d spent almost your whole life in close orbit of the Roys, you weren’t unfamiliar with the press. They knew who you were, you knew who they were. They endlessly pissed Shiv off. She’d done her best to keep her spouse-to-be out of the spotlight, to give them both as normal of a life as possible. The press was overly invasive, and when it came to her family in specific, destructive.

Which is why you suppose the press is targeting you.

A few flashes go off, and immediately, reporters are in your face. You don’t know how they were let in to the terminals, how they were allowed to get so close. You feel the heat creep up your neck. You don’t like the attention- especially not this kind.

You try to push through, but you can’t. They’re incessant, and all you have in your hands is your sweater and your suitcase. You have your headphones on, and you do your best to keep your eyes averted. Despite the fact that you can’t hear anything, you just know they’re demanding comments on Shiv’s marriage and her relationships.

Before you give up entirely, the crowd is shouldered apart by a built man you recognize as employed by the Roys. He’s immediately at your side, arm closing around your shoulder, and helping you bulldoze through the crowd.

You’re frazzled, trying to stamp down the anxiety swirling in your chest. You make a mental note to thank Shiv for thinking ahead. You’re guided out into a private parking garage and pointed to a car. You’re then told that all of the luggage you’d brought would be retrieved, as it was all tagged, and you’d be off the moment you could.

You climb into the backseat of the car, just to find Roman waiting for you.

He’s worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth, but he visibly relaxes once you slide into the seat next to him. Neither of you say anything until he glances sideways at you.

“I saw your face on an article online an hour ago. Someone posted your flight details. I was worried,” he offers lamely.

You blanch. “How do they even get that information?” you ask, voice cracking.

“I, uh, don’t know, but I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if you got hurt.”

Neither of you say anything the entire way to the hotel.

It all feels wrong. The caring, the thoughtfulness. It feels like it shouldn’t be happening. But you like it. You like this side of him. It makes you happy.

All of your bickering had always been pointless, anyway. It’s not like you have some real vendetta against him. You hope he looks at you the same way.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, breaking the silence. “Thank you for thinking about me.” Shiv hadn’t. ๋࣭ ⭑

The day of the wedding, you’re rushing around, getting things done for Shiv. You’re running here and there, making sure the vendors know what they’re doing, making sure not a single hair is out of place. The entire day needs to be perfect. She deserves as much.

Your dress is on, your makeup is done, your hair is up. You’re all ready, and now you just need to make sure everyone else is, too. You aren’t about to let anything go wrong.

The makeup artist starts on Shiv, and you run over to the groom’s suite to check on them. You knock softly, and Roman slips out to meet you. He’s just in a plain cotton shirt and sweats.

“Are you not getting ready? Pictures are in an hour,” you tell him.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll be fine. They’re all pre-gaming.” They all were. You can tell Roman is not.

“Can we take this seriously? We can’t have anybody be late. If we have to wait for anybody, then the entire schedule gets fucked up.”

“Fuckin’… calm down. We’ll be fine. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

Miffed, but not in the mood to argue any further, you give him a look. “If you’re not all ready within the hour, I’ll kill all the groomsmen and then myself. Fucking hurry, Roman.”

You turn to leave, but he catches your elbow. “What asshole did up your dress?” he asks, annoyance seeping into his voice. He tugs you back to him, and you feel his hands smooth over your back, hunting for the string edges that controlled your corset. “Tell me if I go too tight.”

He pulls, slowly and softly, as to not disturb you. He stops when your dress sits snugly on your body, as it’s supposed to, and ties it tightly. He takes a half-step back, admiring his handiwork, hands ghosting over the curves of your hips.

“That feels a lot better,” you tell him.

His eyes flit up and down your body. “Looks a lot better, too. Whoever did that is trying to see you fail.” He trails off, but it looks like he wants to say something else. He’s in a sort of a daze, stare at you. He can’t seem to look away. He snaps out of it soon enough, and you come to realize it’d given you a rush of satisfaction to see him eyeing you like that. You liked it. “Fuck off. I have to get ready.”

So you do.

You make your way down to the ceremony space, inspecting everything. Thankfully, all is well, and nothing is out of place. Everything’s calm, quiet, and nearing perfection.

The time comes for you to help Shiv into her dress, and you’re both emotional, on the brink of tears. You tell her she looks beautiful, because she does, and you help lead her to her first look, where all of the couple’s portraits will be taken before the entire group gets together.

After you step out of the room, leaving them to it, Roman’s making his way up the hallway, this time dressed in a crisp black tuxedo, lavender pocket square tucked neatly.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re here. I have something to give to you,” he says, and you notice the small box gripped in his hand. You have to admit, he looks good in black tie dress. You could get used to the sight of him like this, every bit of clothing tailored exactly to his measurements. Not that you exactly found him unappealing other times, though. Because you certainly found him appealing.

He pops the box open, taking out a delicate corsage made up of purple and white baby’s breath. You have no idea where he got the thing, but it’s gorgeous. You offer your hand when he stretches out his own, and he carefully slips the corsage onto your wrist, adjusting it so that it’s straight. He keeps his eye on it, making sure it’s sitting perfectly on you before pulling away.

“It’s so pretty,” you murmur.

“I’d hoped you’d like it,” he murmurs back. “But, uh, if you don’t mind, I need some help.” He gestures vaguely at his breast pocket, where the pocket square currently sits all by itself. He takes you back to the groomsmen’s suite, beckoning you inside. He goes to root around in his stuff, which is all in a clumped pile in the corner of the massive bedroom. He cautiously takes out a glass tin, a single stem of white baby’s breath identical to the one on your wrist contained inside. “Every time I try putting it in it sticks out weird,” he clarifies, looking up at you, embarrassment tinging his features. “And, uh, you’re the only one who’ll give me the time of day.”

Your heart drops a bit. You feel bad, so you take the tin from him and motion for him to turn and face you. He does.

Roman doesn’t look you in the eyes as your hands smooth out his blazer. Again, these tender moments between the two of you felt like they shouldn’t be happening. It felt so right, though, you felt so at home, letting your hands linger on his chest. You gently tuck the stem of the flower into his breast pocket, letting it peek over and starkly contrast both the color of his suit and the pocket square. You smooth out any wrinkles you can find on his blazer, your hands sliding over the fronts of his shoulders, down his sides, over his stomach.

His face reddens, but he doesn’t stop you.

“You look nice,” you say quietly, straightening out his tie. He catches your hand before it leaves him, keeping it pressed to his chest.

“You think so?”

“Yeah. You… you’re handsome.”

“You, uh, you’re always the prettiest out of all of them. All the time. Like, I’ll see other girls, but I… I always know they’ll never hold a torch to you. I always think- I mean, I know I’d just be happier with you.”

Your face heats, and you can’t help the smile that begins to spread over your face. He moves your hand from his chest up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

“Since when?” you ask, trying to keep yourself together as he turns your hand over and litters kisses along your palm.

“Since forever. I’ve been crushing on you since you yanked the Wii-mote from me then beat my ass in Super Smash Bros.”

You let out an airy giggle. “I’m sorry our relationship’s never been… amicable ’till now.”

Roman lets go of your hand, instead winding his arms around your hips and pulling you flush against him. “Don’t know what that means,” he says simply, fingers going up to brush gently along your jaw. He’s careful not to mess up your makeup or hair. He just wants to touch you. “Just glad you’re here.” His gaze flickers down to your lips. “Can I…?”

You don’t answer, instead leaning forward to capture his lips in a kiss. He makes a strangled noise at the contact, hand adjusting to instead cup your jaw, anchoring you to him. He immediately deepens the kiss, and you swear you can taste the universe on his tongue.

[harrysthighertat]

Valentine’s Day

summary: you come home from a long, shitty day of work to a Valentine's Day surprise from Harry.

warnings: fluff and implied smut

word count: 2.3k

a/n: I'm a little nervous to post this cause this is the first blurb I've ever written. I really enjoyed writing it tho and I can definitely see myself writing more of them in the future, so I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback. sorry if it ends a little abruptly, it's way past midnight and my brain was fried by the end of this. but I hope you still enjoy it! :)

—

It's 7.30PM when you finally park your car in front of you and Harry's shared apartment. You let out a sigh while turning the engine off. No matter how much you love your job, the extra work, stress and having to stay at the office late to cover for your coworker's maternity leave, was wearing you out and you felt incredibly guilty towards Harry for coming home so late and going to bed so soon after arriving home from work. The past few months have been a constant cycle of waking up at 5AM, being at the office until at least 7PM, having dinner with Harry while trying very hard to keep your eyes open and hold a conversation with him then going to bed straight after dinner and repeat.

Thus, you were incredibly grateful when Harry offered to not do anything special for Valentine's Day and make up for it when work wasn't so busy. It meant that you wouldn't have to lose any of your much needed sleep on getting him a gift or preparing a surprise for him. And Harry deserved better than getting a half assed gift after how much he's been there for you during this stressful time. Every evening he insists on packing your lunch for the next day, he wakes up at the crack of dawn with you just so he can kiss you goodbye and wish you luck at work and he leaves sweet little handwritten notes everywhere saying how much he loves you and how proud he is of you, just to name a few out of a million things he does for you. You wanted to show him your gratitude with the most special surprise because he deserved nothing less, but unfortunately it had to wait.

Although Harry missed spending quality time with you, especially on a day such as Valentine's Day, he knew that it was only a couple of days until your coworker was back at the office and he would get to spend his evenings loving on you again.

Earlier that day you had texted Harry notifying him that you'd have to stay at the office late again. You offered to grab some takeout on the way home, which had become a habit of yours over the past couple of months because of how bad you felt that Harry had to do the daily household chores and cook for both of you while also having work of his own and barely getting to spend time with you, but he told you not to worry about it.

You grab your stuff from the passenger seat and step out of your car onto the sidewalk. You walk up the couple of steps to your front door, unlock it and push the door open. As you enter the apartment, you're welcomed by the smell of homemade food and your body immediately relaxes. You put your keys in the basket on the side table in the hallway and place your bag underneath it. Then you shrug off your coat, put it on the hanger and change from your boots to a pair of warm, fuzzy slippers.

Once you've checked yourself in the mirror, you walk towards the noises coming from the kitchen. In the doorway to the kitchen you stop yourself and look at the scene in front of you in awe. Not only do you see your boyfriend, who’s putting away the kitchenware that he’s used while wearing a pink and red polka dot apron that his mom gifted him for Christmas last year with a nice, lightish green dress shirt and fitted dark green trousers underneath, but the dinner table is beautifully decorated with bordeaux red table runners, pink lit candles and a bottle of your favorite red wine.

The smell of food is even stronger here and you notice the tray in the oven. Homemade vegan lasagna. Your favorite. In the background Dreams by Fleetwood Mac is softly playing. The soothing music, comforting smell of your favorite homemade meal and the sight of the love of your life standing right in front of you is a heavenly combination and you feel tears welling up in your eyes from how good it feels to be home, especially after the long, shitty day you had at work.

You quickly blink the tears away and walk over to your boyfriend. As Harry hears you coming up from behind, he turns around. As soon as his eyes land on his lovie's face, a smile grows on his own. “Hi baby, I didn’t hear you come home. How was work? I missed you.” He grabs your hands, pulls you closer and softly pecks your lips.  

You return the favor and say “Hi bub, work wasn't too great today." Harry can tell you've had a stressful day and you don't feel like talking about it, so he doesn't press on the topic. "I'm starting to understand my coworker." You say though. "If these were my usual tasks I would also get someone to impregnate me just to have an excuse to get a couple of months off." Harry bursts out laughing and your heart flutters in your chest at the sound of it.

You almost tear up again when you say "It feels good to be home. With you. Sorry I couldn't get home sooner." Harry squeezes your hand to reassure you that it's okay.

Then you gesture to the scene behind you. "What’s all this for though?” Harry turns around to see what you mean as if he hasn't spent half of the day in the kitchen to decorate and cook and make sure everything was perfect for when you got home.

“Well, I couldn’t not treat my girl on Valentine’s Day, so I thought I’d cook you your favorite meal and decorate the table so we can have a romantic candle lit dinner tonight and celebrate Valentine's Day just a bit.”

He then remembers the other surprise he got you that morning. “Oh and I got you something else, wait here…”. He walks out of the kitchen to where he hid his surprise from you, leaving you alone in the kitchen.

A few seconds later Harry returns with a gorgeous bouquet of red, pink and white tulips. He hands them to you as he says “Happy Valentine’s day, baby.” You hesitantly accept the bouquet. When you slowly bring the flowers to your nose and inhale, the flowers smell fresh, and soothing and heavenly and remind you of a warm, sunny day in spring. Then a frown grows on your face.

“What’s wrong? Do they smell bad?” Harry asks concerned.

“No, they smell lovely.” You answer, frown still present on your face.

“Do you not like tulips? Shit, I thought tulips were your favorite. But I should’ve listened to the sweet old man at the flower shop and got you the roses that he recommended for Valentine's Day. I’m really sorry, I can go back tomorrow and get you those.” He says, panic in his voice.

Your features soften a little. “No, they are my favorite and they’re beautiful. Thank you.”

“What’s got you frowning then?”  

You look down as you fumble with the flowers in your hand. “I- I just feel so bad. Everyone's out today celebrating their relationship, showering their partner with love while you barely even get to spend time with me because I leave for work so early and don't come home until the evening hours when I'm too tired to stay up for longer than an hour. I feel like such a bad partner. I didn’t even get you anything today."

"Hey, look at me." Harry says, as he grabs your hand with one of his and places the other on your chin to gently lift it so that you're looking at him. He moves his face a little closer to yours and kisses the place between your brows before moving down to your lips, placing a kiss on both of the corners of your mouth in hopes of removing the frown from your face.

"None of that. Of course I miss you, but I know how much you care about your work and I know that this is not forever. You've been working your ass off and I'm so proud of you. And I don't mind at all that you didn't get me anything today, baby. After all we said we weren’t going to do anything special today. We've got to feed ourselves wether you're busy or not and you know I love cooking, especially when it's for you. So I figured I'd cook you your favorite dinner just to make today a little more special. Plus you didn't think I made all of that lasagna just for you, right? I'm treating myself to a lovely dinner with the best company I could ever wish for too. Although if you did want to have the whole tray to yourself, I wouldn't mind either. Anything to make my baby happy. I just wanna take care of you and show you how proud I am of you for working so hard.” He rubs soothing circles on the back of your hand and kisses tip of your nose, then your left cheek, your right cheek and finally your mouth.

Then he pulls back to look at you again and you notice a smirk appear on Harry's face. "Besides, you didn't think I didn't notice my favorite lingerie set being gone from our underwear drawer this morning, did you?"

You try to suppress a smile. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He's right though. You are wearing a red, lace lingerie set underneath your outfit that you specifically decided to wear today. It's the matching lingerie set that Harry got you on his birthday as he claimed it was more a present for himself. You'd been so tired and stressed it lately that your sex drive was low and it had been a while since you and Harry had been intimate with each other. Therefore you also hadn't been able to show Harry the lingerie set in action yet, but you had secretly been hoping to change that tonight.

When you were getting dressed this morning, Harry had pretended to still be asleep while peeking at you through his eyelashes.

Harry smiles and kisses your lips. Then he leaves a trail of soft little kissen from your mouth to your neck where he stays for a few seconds while his hands roam your body until he leans back to look at you with a teasing expression on his face. "Right, so you're not wearing anything special underneath this?"

You notice Harry's eyes have turned a darker shade of green. You look behind Harry at the timer on the oven to see how much time is left before the lasagna is ready. Enough time for a little teasing.

“Want to check for yourself?” You say as seductively as possible. Harry kisses you hard and you laugh into his mouth at how fast he moves to unbutton your top and almost gets his ring stuck on it in the process. As he's working on the last button of your blouse, a loud beeping noise startles both of you. The lasagna is ready. Harry drops his head to your shoulder and sighs in frustration.

You laugh at his dramatic reaction and pat him on his back. "Come on pretty boy, if we don't eat soon I will actually eat the whole tray myself 'cause I'm starving."  

During dinner you catch Harry staring at your exposed cleavage a couple of times. You hadn't bothered buttoning your blouse again because you knew it would only be a matter of time until you wouldn't be wearing a top at all.

When Harry said he was too full for desert, which you knew was only an excuse to continue what you started right before dinner because desert was his favorite and he would always leave room for it, you decided to be an even bigger tease by insisting on having a piece of the cheesecake Harry bought for desert. 

The second you finish your last bite, Harry's on your side of the table. He grabs your face in both hands and presses your lips together hard. He moves one hand down to the side of your ass and taps it to signal you to get up. Once you're up he guides you to sit at the edge of the table all while kissing you passionately. He keeps one hand on the back of your head while he unbuttons the last button on your blouse, revealing the red, lace bra. He momentarily pulls back from kissing you to admire how stunning you look in his now new favorite lingerie set on you until he reattaches his lips to yours and lets his hand explore your body. After some time he starts kissing and sucking on your neck, leaving marks in different places. Harry hasn’t even touched you and you’re already a moaning mess for him. Finally he leaves a trail of kisses from your chest down to the top of your skirt. He uses his hands to bunch up your skirt around your waist and looks at you to check if you’re really okay with this. When you push his head back to your skin he laughs at your impatience and takes that as his cue to continue. He gives you one final look before his face disappears under your skirt. 

It’s safe to say the lasagna wasn't the only thing that was eaten on that dinner table that night.

[frangipanilove]

Hello, I’ve asked this question to a few TD theorists before and was wondering your thoughts. I still don’t feel like I’ve received a solid answer on this it seems to be overlooked by most of you. I don’t mean this to be an insult but I do think it’s particularly important. Emily appears to be in LA and we know Season 3 is filming and has been for a month now. She posts almost everyday on social media mostly Instagram stories. She tags LA places she is at daily such as concert venues, restaurants, coffee shops. It’s also obvious when she is filming at her place in LA she films in the same spots and it’s easily identifiable for anyone who looks at her daily posts. I know Emily was at a Manchester and French con but so were many other actors that are dead or aren’t on any of the other spinoffs. She was also only there for about a week or so. She even has a concert scheduled in LA tomorrow. I guess my question is how can we continue to ignore Emily’s whereabouts? She isn’t in Europe when they are filming for a show we are saying she’s going to be on. Symbolism in a show means nothing when the person we need to be filming is not filming.

Hi friend! I just want you to know I don’t take your question as an insult, it’s a perfectly valid thing to ask. And right off the bat, I doubt I’m going to have an answer for you that is more satisfactory than the ones you’ve received in the past, and I’m sorry about that.

Being in TD definitely does have an element of blind faith to it, there’s no way around that. When I place such high emphasis on the symbolism of the show, it’s because I really do interpret it as a story of Beth’s resurrection. Having said that, the exact details of when/where/how are almost impossible to decipher. We’ve been wrong in the past and will probably be wrong again, in a variety of different ways.

In previous asks, I’ve talked about how the TV industry has changed so much in so little time. While I don’t have any type of inside information into that, I can imagine that plans that originally looked one way might have been scrapped due to unforeseen changes, such as the show ending, the Rick movie trilogy tuning into a limited mini series, other spinoffs etc. It’s stuff that no one really could have foreseen just a short while ago. I’ve also speculated that perhaps it was Emily herself who wasn’t ready to return due to mental health issues which she opened up about on social media a few years ago. Again, I want to stress that I don’t necessarily have a solid theory on that, it’s just one of a million legitimate possible explanations for why she still hasn’t returned.

You mentioned the Manchester con. While I enjoy reading other people’s theories on things like that, it’s not really something I personally pay much attention to. For starters, I don’t follow the actors’ schedules particularly closely, so chances are I don’t even know these things before someone else writes about it. While she technically could combine these types of things with filming, I think it’s entirely possible to film even without these events as “cover”. MMB spent time in Paris being locked up in a hotel while filming TBOC, and I believe that’s possible for others as well. If that’s what they need to do, they’ll find a way to do it.

So you say that Emily spends her time in LA at the moment, and that’s worrying for everyone who wants to believe she will be returning to the show. I agree with that, I would have loved to see something suggesting she was off somewhere filming.

I’ve got a couple of things to say to that. First, while I believe and hope she’ll return for s3 in Spain. I’m not locked on to that. There are other spinoffs, filming other places, such as Dead City. Hypothetically she could return there. @wdway theorizes that she might return in a potential season 2 of Tales of The Walking Dead. She could also appear in any of these shows in the form of a flashback or flash forward of some kind, and she doesn’t need to be in Spain to film that.

Something else I’ve been thinking about lately, which might not be a popular opinion but I’ll share it nonetheless, is that her role in the show might look different than we first thought when we joined TD. I’ve already mentioned the rapidly changing TV industry. When I joined TD almost a decade ago, the mothership TWD was a massive enterprise, with 16 episodes per season. There was infinite room for an elaborate, well fleshed out Beth/bethyl storyline.

Now, not so much. I’ve watched the leaked episodes of TBOC, and while I won’t spoil anything here, I will say that it’s only six episodes, and not even very long ones at that, and it’s super condensed and action packed (it’s a great show though, I loved it). There’s simply less room for the type of storyline we anticipated when we first stated theorizing. I’m not spoiling anything when I say that TBOC is full of Beth callbacks and Beth dialogue parallels (I’ve already written about it here and here, and rest assured there’ll be more posts, because holy mother of pearl…). But I think we should probably adjust our expectations in terms of how big of a role she will play when she returns, at least for the foreseeable future, simply because there are so few episodes per season.

And finally, as I always say, I don’t watch the show exclusively with Beth in mind, I’m a fan of the entire TWDU, and I love the show regardless of whether Beth returns or not. I fully believe she will, because that’s how I interpret the symbolism, but I don’t hate every episode or season where she doesn’t. Everyone’s different and I’m not judging anyone, but it’s probably easier for me to thoroughly enjoy the show even when Beth isn’t here, simply because I love it regardless.

So while I would love to see spoiler pics of her in Spain, I’m not terribly distressed when she seems to stay put in LA, because there are still a number of ways in which she could be “resurrected”😘

[justcallmenikki7]

Hi, it’s Nikki.

I’m writing this to give you all, the ones who are still here even tho I’ve been basically hiatus for a while now, with some posts here and there. You probably all, also, saw this coming, but I’m sadly done writing.

God, im crying lmao.

Anyways, I realized after constantly trying to write something, outline, everything, I couldn’t write anymore. Maybe it’s because I went through a severe abusive relationship at the beginning of April 2022 to the end of November of 2022, and it completely changed me as a person. I lost a lot of love, likes, whatever you may call it, from that relationship. It changed me, and one of the things it changed in me was my love for writing. My spark isn’t here anymore, and I’ve been trying to hold on for the last possible year and a half for you guys, but it hasn’t happened. I’m afraid of change, I’m afraid of letting go, and have a bad time of accepting the fact that i mayve grown out of a phase, you know? My love for the boys will always be there, always.

What has also caused me lots of stress, and is a sign of losing my spark, has been trying to write and come up with ideas, and creat stories for those who have messaged me privately, and I feel terrible for not being able to do that, and I hate breaking promises/not keeping my word because I wanted to make you guys happy, and I’ve failed those individuals. I’m sorry for not finishing those requests, and I’m sorry that I never actually started them because I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to make you happy, but I couldn’t get anything out and so I sat for the longest time, trying to get a good paragraph, or in a general a sentence out, but i couldn’t and I didn’t.

And I’ve sadly relapsed the other night after almost 2 years of being clean from s/h. My depression has been in the dumps, and even tho I have so many positives going on in my life and such amazing people, and an amazing partner, my mental health is deteriorating and I need to focus on myself.

I know I’ve once done a short hiatus before and came back because sometimes a small break is good to have, but sometimes all things must come to an end, and I’m officially closing my chapter with tumblr and writing for good.

I’ve made a couple of friends on here, and those friends I want to address real quickly and say my peace.

@wickizer , girl you know everything and ily

@minniepetals . My gosh, I remember reading your story String of Fate when it first came out, and I swore up and down, still today I do, that it’ll be published in the hall of fame. Despite it being on its hiatus, it’s still the best story so far. You deserve an award for your writing, and your story Cry Me A River is such an amazing masterpiece. I’ve been meaning to read it all, but life has gotten in the way and I’m so proud of you. Even tho we haven’t talked in the longest time, I’m still cheering you on, on here and outside of tumblr.

@aft3rhrs . Love, you’re amazing and I hope you take care of yourself and take time for yourself. Self love and self kindness is a priority and make yourself a priority. Your writing is beautiful and I’m glad we befriended each other. I’m cheering you on, and always will. Thank you for being a kind person.

And every other writer that I bonded with on here, I love you and will be a huge cheerleader for you. To those who I reached out to when I was still new for advice, or for me to fangirl to, thank you for being kind and helpful.

And to my followers, the ones who cheered me on to keep writing when I first joined tumblr, thank you for being kind and supportive. I love each and every single one of you. You made this place a safe place for the longest time, and I’m thankful for all of you.

I’m sorry for the longest apology and me basically dumping my issues on here, I just needed to be honest with you all. I didn’t want this to sound like a ‘poor me’ ‘feel sorry for me’ but I needed to, like I said before, be honest with you.

This is scary for me, but this is me saying goodbye.

Love forever and always, justcallmenikki7.

[yoshi17here]

A Mall, A Date, A Christmas Day 8

wc:1.5k

paring:nonidol bf chanbin x y/n

YOSHI*(: I'm very sorry that it takes a while for me to post but my lazy ass has not been feeling well emotionally.

It was a cold December afternoon, and the air in the city was crisp with the scent of fresh snow, pine, and cinnamon. Christmas lights adorned every storefront, twinkling in the late afternoon twilight. Inside the mall, decorations filled the halls—golden garlands, red bows, and sparkling wreaths hanging from every beam. The excitement in the air was palpable, and you could feel the holiday cheer spreading to everyone around.

Chanbin, the person you’d been dating for the past few months, walked by your side, his hand in yours. Unlike the usual hustle and bustle of his work as an idol, today, Chanbin was just your boyfriend—a normal, slightly introverted guy who loved the simple things in life. The two of you had decided to escape the usual holiday stress and spend the afternoon together, browsing the shops, picking out gifts, and enjoying each other’s company. It was the perfect way to celebrate your first Christmas as a couple.

“You sure you want to do this?” Chanbin asked, his voice warm and gentle as he pulled you toward the entrance of a store. “I know Christmas shopping can be stressful.”

You smiled at him, squeezing his hand. “I think it’ll be fun, especially since we’re doing it together.”

“I’m all in,” he chuckled softly, glancing at the glittering store window displays. “But just so you know, I’m probably the worst at picking out gifts. You’re going to have to help me a lot.”

“I don’t mind. It’s not about the presents anyway,” you said, nudging him lightly as you entered the store. The air inside was warm, and the faint scent of candles filled your senses as the soft hum of Christmas music played in the background.

The store was filled with rows upon rows of unique, beautifully crafted holiday decor—snow globes, plush reindeer, scented candles, and sparkling ornaments. Chanbin scanned the shelves, seeming a little lost as he ran his fingers through his hair. He had a way of looking endearingly out of place in situations like these. You loved it.

“So,” you began, looking at him with a playful grin, “what are we buying first? We could grab something for your parents.”

Chanbin thought for a moment, before nodding. “Yeah, let’s do that. I’m sure they’ll appreciate something personal, like a photo frame or a nice candle.”

You smiled at his thoughtful nature. “Sounds perfect.”

As the two of you walked down the aisles, chatting and laughing, you found yourself constantly amazed at how easy it was to be with him. With Chanbin, there was no pressure. There was no rush. He was kind, attentive, and genuinely interested in making sure you had a good time, even on something as simple as shopping.

“Y/N,” he said, suddenly turning to you, his face softening. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” you replied, your heart fluttering a little at the sincere tone in his voice.

“Do you like Christmas?” he asked, looking uncertain for a moment.

You nodded enthusiastically. “I love it! The lights, the music, the food… It just makes everything feel so cozy and special. Why?”

Chanbin seemed to smile to himself, as if your answer reassured him. “I’m glad. I know the holidays can be a bit much for some people. And, uh, I guess I just want this Christmas to be really good for you.”

Your heart melted at his words. “It already is, just being with you.”

He smiled, though you could see the faintest blush creep up on his cheeks. You couldn’t help but laugh softly, teasing him. “You know, you’re not exactly the type to get all mushy.”

“Hey, don’t make fun of me!” he protested, though there was no real heat in his voice. “I’m just saying that I want everything to be perfect. I’ve never really had a Christmas where I’ve gotten to do the ‘normal’ stuff—like going to the mall, picking out presents, just being with someone.”

“That’s why I wanted us to do this,” you said, squeezing his hand again. “I know this isn’t your usual vibe, but I think we’ll make it special. And hey,” you added, grinning, “at least you don’t have to worry about running into any fans, right?”

Chanbin let out a quiet laugh. “True. But you’re my favorite gift, so… I’ll just be focusing on that.”

You could feel the warmth of his words settle in your chest, and you tried to suppress the smile that tugged at your lips.

After grabbing a few more items—personalized mugs, candles, and chocolates for his family—the two of you continued strolling through the mall, finding yourself outside the crowded food court. The smell of freshly baked cinnamon rolls and warm coffee wafted through the air, and the soft glow of the Christmas lights made everything feel even more magical.

“So, how about a hot chocolate break?” you suggested, looking up at him with a playful smile. “We’ve earned it, don’t you think?”

“Definitely,” Chanbin agreed eagerly. “I’m starving, actually. Can we also grab some pretzels?”

You laughed. “Sure, we can grab whatever you want.”

You made your way to the kiosk, ordering two hot chocolates and a pair of giant cinnamon sugar pretzels. As you sat down on one of the benches near the mall’s large Christmas tree, Chanbin took a deep breath, gazing up at the lights. The tree was absolutely massive, adorned with thousands of twinkling lights and shimmering baubles, its star shining brightly atop.

“It’s a little surreal, isn’t it?” he murmured, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

You nodded. “It feels like a dream. But I love it. Being here with you, just enjoying the little things.”

Chanbin smiled softly at you, his eyes shining with a kind of quiet contentment. He didn’t say much more, but there was a warmth between you that was more than enough to fill the silence. The soft hum of holiday music played in the background, the sound of people laughing and chatting filling the air, but none of it mattered. In that moment, it was just the two of you—together, enjoying the day.

As the afternoon stretched into evening, you finished up your shopping. The bags in your hands had grown heavier, but it didn’t matter. You were happy. You had everything you needed. You had each other.

When the final moments of the evening arrived, you stood by the mall’s exit, your breath visible in the cool air. Chanbin turned to you, his hand gently brushing your cheek.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For today. It’s been perfect.”

“Anything for you,” you whispered back, your heart full.

As the snow began to fall softly around you, Chanbin leaned in and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. It was the kind of Christmas moment that would stay with you forever—the kind of moment you knew you’d cherish for a lifetime.

And with that, you both walked out into the world, ready to create even more memories.

[tmagpposting]

Alice’s Attitude

and why I don’t think it’s going to save her.

I haven’t seen a lot of people talking about the implication of Alice's attitude towards the incidents and horror elements so far, so I’m going to. Someone else may have already made a post about this, but I haven’t found anything yet, and I couldn’t find a way to get this out of my mind without writing it down. Naturally, I’m also going to inflict this long-winded and potentially needless analysis on all of you, since I spent 2 hours typing it out (sorry in advance). TW for blatant overuse of parentheticals and politics towards the end. This draws on content from TMAGP episodes 1-3 and TMA overall, particularly the series finale.

I feel like a lot of us going into TMAGP and having listened to TMA already were probably pleasantly surprised by Alice’s attitude of “The Horrors? Just say no!” since a lot of TMA revolved around the idea that curiosity and investigation of the fears usually doomed people to be consumed by one of them, as we saw with a lot of the Archive staff, particularly Jon. I certainly was. Though her ideas about how to deal with the incident reports are definitely somewhat callous, in the context of TMA, they feel very pragmatic, and I found myself thinking, “finally, a character who knows what genre she’s in and refuses to surrender to it.” I’ve been seeing a couple people agree with this, and say that her approach might even help her stay afloat when things start to escalate as the conflicts of TMAGP develop in the coming episodes. I thought that too, at least for a while. 

After thinking about it for several days, I don’t think this is the case. Given TMA’s themes and propensity for tragedy, and Jonny’s approach to tackling social issues, I don’t think Alice’s apathy is going to save her. In fact, I think it’s potentially going to be the character flaw that will doom her in the first place.

1. Alice already cares (not about the horrors, but about people)

To start with, I’d like to point out that Alice will only be able to maintain her apathy to a limited extent, and when people she cares about start being harmed, she is going to get involved. In fact, we can already see this happening. Ep 3 notably starts and ends with Alice making a plan to get Central IT involved in looking into their computers, when she tries to mention them to Colin in the first scene, and when she asks Sam to call them on her behalf in the final scene. I’d argue that the issue comes up because she’s concerned about Colin more than fixing the OIAR’s computers. She tells Sam it’s because Colin may not be able to handle FR3-D1 as well as he thinks he can since he’s been working on it forever with very little positive progress, but given the additional context of the starting scene, I think it’s reasonable to assume she also wants to meddle for Colin’s sake. In the first scene of ep 3, she seemingly talks more softly/slowly than usual (to me, it sounds like she’s trying to be soothing when compared to how she normally talks, even outside of the times she’s actually soothing FR3-D1), she doesn’t make too many digs at Colin as he sounds increasingly stressed, and she asks gently and subtly about calling Central IT for help when she is generally pretty direct when she seriously wants something (like all the times she repeatedly shuts down Sam’s questions because she wants him to stay out of danger). It sounds like she’s trying to slip it in as a half-joke, but Colin treats it as a genuine suggestion when he usually either brushes off her jokes or plays into them instead, so I think it was her actual intent to involve Central IT even at that point. Furthermore, Gwen tells Sam something along the lines of “Alice is the only one [Colin] tolerates” in a previous episode, they have good banter throughout so far, and Colin’s explosive reaction to Sam mentioning the app completely deflates when he learns it was Alice’s idea. All of this seemingly demonstrates a bond that goes pretty far beyond what I’d think of as a basic work relationship with no actual friendship involved. Colin is already pretty deep into investigating FR3-D1 to the point that it’s probably going to be detrimental for him based on him threatening/ranting at the computers in the first episode, and Alice is already trying to intervene on his behalf. Simply put, she is doing a pretty bad job of pretending not to care and staying out of it so far, and we’re only 3 episodes in.

With that in mind, I don’t even think Colin will be the primary reason she’ll get involved as the series goes on, and I actually think Sam is being set up to be the one to draw her into much of the conflict. She cares enough about Sam to find him a job when he’s having a rough time, based on their conversation in the bar, and she tells him not to care about the incidents precisely because she cares about him, and doesn’t want him to get sucked in and hurt by them. With Sam’s propensity for curiosity established and likely being set up to be one of his fatal flaws, Alice will probably get drawn into the conflict whether she likes it or not if/when Sam goes digging and actually stumbles on something dangerous later on. As a side note, I really do think Sam’s curiosity is being set up to be something big here, since he repeatedly wants to look into the Magnus Institute and says it’s a “blast from the past,” he wonders about how the code system works and how it could be improved, and he’s generally shown to ask a lot of questions about the OIAR, Gwen’s backstory, etc. He asks about things more often than I think he would if his questions were purely an expositional device for the audience and not actual characterization (I could make a post just about this, but I think other people have definitely already done that). Finally, our very first introduction to Alice as a character in TMAGP shows her trying and failing to be glib and uncaring about Teddy leaving, where she jokes with him casually before admitting, sincerely and somewhat hesitantly, “I’m gonna miss you.” If her failing to not care about something in the opening scene of the entire series isn’t going to turn out to be important, if not Jonny Sims style foreshadowing of some kind, I’ll eat my hat.

2. Apathy kind of sucks, actually (thematically and otherwise)

Alice being saved by her refusal to care, assuming she manages to maintain it, feels too much like an easy out for the kinds of stories TMA was trying to tell, and clashes with its sensibilities in my opinion. A lot of people fall into the trap of nihilistic apathy when thinking about the state of the world right now, and TMA even acknowledged this in the series with the Extinction beginning to emerge as a new entity/fear. Between worsening climate change, the gradual rise of bigotry and the increasing trend toward fascism in the western world (especially america, it sucks here), escalating international conflict, poverty and the worsening cost/standard of living, like the fact that a majority of people my age will probably never own a house and our college debt is going to eat us alive, etc., it feels like we’re all circling the drain and no one with the power to help is interested in doing anything other than making it worse to make themselves money. A lot of people think the only way to cope with that is to decide to not give a shit, which is a pretty natural response to being constantly confronted with worse and worse news every year that shows no sign of stopping. This has also naturally inspired a lot of doomerism and a rise in insincerity/irony poisoning and cynicism in popular culture that’s really hard to escape even if you avoid the news entirely.

However, the idea that not giving a shit about the problems in the world can somehow spare you from them is a) ludicrous, since they won’t go away if you decide to ignore them (a majority of the TMA statement givers didn’t previously know or care about the fears, and they got screwed over regardless), and b) definitely not supported by TMA’s cannon or themes. Surrendering to the idea of your own helplessness is precisely what TMA ends by specifically not doing. Jon sunk into a hopeless state of mind throughout S5, with the culmination of this process being his proposal to let the world end and allow the End to consume everything, including the rest of the fears. It wasn’t necessarily that Jon didn’t care or was apathetic, especially since one of his primary motivation was to avoid inflicting the fears on another universe, rather, he didn’t think anything could be done to stop the fears from destroying his world or whatever world they ended up in, which is the same deterministic mindset that Alice’s style of apathy stems from (“I can’t change or fix it, so I don’t care”). The other characters refusing this course of action and banishing the fears is what ultimately spares TMA’s universe from the sort of extinction it would’ve had if they’d accepted that it was hopeless and Jon had gone through with what he wanted. TMA ends with the central takeaway that you can’t give in to the idea you won’t be able to fix things because then you won’t try, and shows the characters subverting their helplessness and actually solving the problem of the fears by getting rid of it at the source (the ethics of sending the fears somewhere else are definitely debatable, but that’s a totally different post). The idea that Alice could be saved from the consequences of the problems in TMAGP’s world by choosing not to care flies in the face of the conclusion to the previous series. Alice’s refusal to care won’t save her from whatever TMAGP has in store, and judging by the events of TMA, fatalism and apathy might even seal her fate. 

Some of these points of evidence might be a little bit basic “water is wet” types of statements and I probably could’ve explained this in half the time, but I really do think that Alice’s apathy isn’t going to turn out to be very useful to her and I wanted to include everything I could think of that led me to believe that.

TLDR, Alice is just as screwed as the rest of the cast, if not more so, and her attitude is not going to get her out of it.

[nostalgiclittlespace]

your post on regression grief hit me hard. i recently had a moment where for a couple hours i so vividly went back to when i was a kid, when it was the spring leading into summer during middle school and we all gathered in the open grassy field and played games. music played. the smell of the season was full of joy. ive been having more and more moments like this. the older i get and the more trauma i endure, the more i find myself having moments where i regress and cling to my tiger plushie and find myself talking a certain way. i go back to reliving these memories and its so comforting and simple.

Regressing is entirely new to me. i was told its something bad and “problematic”, so i was really scared when i started to put two and two together. do you have any advice for someone newly discovering this part of themself? (i know this is a heavy question so its okay if you dont!!)

Hi, friend ❤️❤️❤️ First of all, I have the impulse to say that I’m sorry for all the stress you’re under. While regression can be a very joyful thing, the side of it you usually see on the internet, it can also be that crushing, confusing grief. I hope some of what I’ll say can help.

First, I completely understand where you’re coming from. For me personally, regression is revisiting childhood because adulthood is hard and being a kid is just so much easier. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only safe place. Those memories are precious, and they are happy. (Some of my favorites are when I remember playing with my siblings, running around my backyard. Those were my favorite days)

My first piece of advice is that it’s okay to cling onto those memories and regress with them. It’s okay to have that bittersweet sting as you remember how simple life used to be. No matter who you are and what your situation is growing up is it’s own kind of trauma—suddenly being faced with responsibility and work, when it seemed only yesterday we didn’t have to worry about a thing. So, it’d natural to miss those easy times, and to wish for the, back. If that make you regress, then that’s okay.

I am actually fairly new to regression as well. I started trying age dreaming a year or so ago to try and cope with stress (with moderate success), but it wasn’t until the past few months that I’ve actually started to do regress routinely and consider myself a member of the community. I will admit that before I framed my regression negatively. I felt almost ashamed of myself for not handling my stress in a “typical fashion”. Which brings me to my next piece of advice. There is nothing wrong with regression. If you’ve been on this side of the Internet for long enough, I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but I’m saying it again. Age regression is completely okay, it is a valid coping mechanism.It takes time to let go of those negative outlooks and preconceptions (believe me, I know) But you have Avery supportive, kind, and fun community agere, and we’d all be happy to help you however we can.

For me, the best way to get comfortable with regressing was to take baby steps. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures like decorating your bedroom as a nursery (tho if that’ll make you more comfortable, then go for it!) personally, I started small. Watching Disney movies. Sleeping with a stuffed animal every night. Coloring with crayons and coloring books instead of my fancy colored pencils. Eventually, it became natural.

However I would also like to point out that not all regression is sunshine and rainbows (unfortunately.). It’s also that space where we recognize our trauma through a child’s perspective, and that’s hard. It’s okay and normal for regression to be difficult or painful.

Nonetheless, it’s important to take care of those feelings. remember that you deserve this safe place.

I think the most important thing I can say is to indulge in it. Your mind will thank you. Personally, I’ve honestly been handling life so much better, recalling lost childhood memories I would have forgotten about, and just generally feeling happier since I’ve allowed myself to regress when I need to.

I hope some of this was helpful. Sorry if it was a bit scatterbrained. If I think of anything else, I’ll edit this later. And If you need anything else, whether to ask some more questions or just need a listening ear, I’m always available! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Lots of love to you, friend, sending lots of warm, happy vibes your way

-Marty 💙

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Millie Bright x Reader

Part Three: Playing Pretend

You forgot that you still had Millie’s insta notifications turned on as your phone lit up with the first one in days. “If that’s another fucking photo with Levi I’m gonna go off” your voice sounding harsh and bitter again. You were on the sofa with Rachel watching your favourite film and as the statement left your lips, Rach picked up her phone to look too. Your eyes met with a multi photo post, each one of you and Millie.

I have something I’ve been meaning to get off my chest for a while and didn’t know how to do it. I’m sorry to everyone I’ve lied to, including @(y/n). The truth is, I’m not in a relationship with Levi and never have been. For 6 years (y/n) has been my teammate, my roommate, my best friend and the reason I laugh everyday - that’s not a lie. But what I failed to tell everyone is that she’s also my girlfriend, at least I hope she still is. I’m bisexual and I’m in love with this incredibly strong, talented and gorgeous woman and have been since 2017. We’ve celebrated anniversaries quietly and loved each other in secret because I convinced her it was better that way. I now see that that was wrong and I apologise to everyone I have affected but mostly I apologise to the love of my life. I should never have pulled you back into the closet with me; you’re the smartest, most honest and kind human being I know and I should never have dulled your sparkle. I love you always 💙

After reading to the end you looked up at Rach with tears in your eyes, mouthing the words “thank you” to her as she crawled over to take you into her arms. The tears kept coming as you allowed relief to replace anger and your body finally caught up with the immense amount of stress this situation had caused.

You don’t know how long you laid there but with the release of negative energy and Rachel’s fingers running through your hair you must have fallen asleep, only awoken a couple hours later by the door bell. “You might wanna get that” Rachel whispered as you looked up at her. Shuffling to the front door and turning the knob you were met with your tall blonde girlfriend towering over you, barely visible behind the enormous bouquet of flowers she was holding.

“I want to marry you too” were the first words to leave her mouth. “I’m sorry. I know that isn’t enough but if you’ll have me back I promise to make you smile, bring you flowers and tell you I love you every single day. I should have been proud to call you my girlfriend, I am proud to call you my girlfriend and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. (Y/n) I love you so much, please forgive me?”

The last bit of air left your lungs as the words you’d been wishing for were finally said. This time, it was you that was speechless and just nodded in response to her question of forgiveness. You know it must have been hard for her to come out but didn’t know that was one of the reasons she kept you hidden. Taking the flowers from her she enveloped you into her arms, feeling that sense of comfort and belonging that you’d been missing. Your head fitting perfectly under her chin as she squeezed you so tightly you thought you were going to burst. “Can I kiss you?” she asked innocently, lifting your chin with her forefinger “of course you can” the smile on your face no longer fake or forced as your lips met with hers, feeling like it was the beginning all over again. “Come here Cupid” Millie shouted as Rach run over to join in the embrace.

The next day Millie walked you into practice standing tall, proud and holding your hand. You said she didn’t have to but she insisted that she wanted to - today and every day, she’ll hold your hand wherever you go. Entering the gym where the rest of the team were who immediately turned their attention to both of you, cheering and clapping at your arrival. For the first time in 6 years, you’d never felt happier.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! A couple about daily posting, some about twst boys.

Anonymous asked:

I hope you don’t feel rushed to post every alternate day. It’s your blog, and if you ever want to take breaks, please take as much time as you want! Always prioritise yourself first! Anyway, that aside, thank you for bestowing upon this fandom such incredible work!

Thank you so much, Anon! This is very sweet, I am very happy to hear that!

Don’t worry about it: we love this blog too much to let ourselves get burnt out by it, so whenever we’ll need it, we’ll take breaks or skip days. Fortunately, you guys are very understanding of our circumstances, so it’s all good <3

Anonymous asked:

I did see the tail post (though I had to check twt before realizing it was a tail... I didn't see the caption.) You just tend to upload multiple times every day (now that I think about it, how do you work with all the art? I want a job with that much free time! ...Sleep is important despite what Idia would say) so I was worried. Glad to know your ok!

-(Overly(?)-)Anxious Anon

P.S. Sorry if I asked to many personal questions: boundaries are not my strong suit. Feel free to ignore them, and please tell me if I make you uncomfortable. I really like your work, and I would hate to make you feel uncomfortable by asking something too personal.

It's okay, Anon; I understand! It must be weird when someone who posts multiple times per day suddenly doesn't post anything, but it really isn't anything to be worried about. It also still feels a little bit weird to skip even a day after that twitter thing that happened in May on my fucking birthday. It was a month-long forced break, and it still haunts us lol Your questions and concerns are perfectly fine and not out of any boundaries.

I draw a lot and pretty much all the time: I start the day by drawing for work (commissions and such, up to six hours), then I take a break to write replies (one hour, or sometimes more, on weekends it can go up to two), then I prepare something for us to post (2-3 hours) + draw for fun for the rest of the day. I also have long sketching sessions whenever I can, and it usually results with a bunch of simple sketches. And we always end up having some stuff to post. Well, usually it’s too much stuff lol Fortunately, I don’t have to ever think about what to post because Katsu does pretty much 100% of our posting. Because of that, I can focus on what I love to do most – you guessed it, drawing. I can’t stress enough how much it helps me out woah.

We usually post replies at around tea time in our time zone (well, Katsu’s), and we post my art ~three hours before going to bed, so to us, this posting feels like once a day. Things for ko-fi and my private twitter are posted in the morning, but if ko-fi posts are twice per day, then one of them is in the evening for us... It’s a lot to keep in mind lol But sometimes we have a couple of things to post, ofc, so these go an hour before our usual posting time so that we won’t replace it with something fewer people are going to like. This is why I said that it helps me out a lot...

I am pretty sure that I am an obsessive weirdo when it comes to drawing, but to be honest, I’ve always been this way. Don’t worry though, I take good care of myself and after a certain point stop drawing for the day; plus, I never draw when I’m tired, and I would never force myself when my back or hand hurt (that doesn’t really happen btw).

And I know that we probably won’t be able to post twst every day for the rest of our lives (for starters, we won’t be into twst forever, as sad as it is…), but for now we can and we’re having fun with it, so I’m very happy about it! Thank you for enjoying our stuff; I say it all the time, but I mean it.

It’s going to sound cheesy, but for now I feel very happy and lucky to be able to draw so much and post so often. With the help of people around me (especially Katsu), with your support, it’s been really great. I want to keep doing it while it lasts and while I can.

Anonymous asked:

Yes, I’d like his number. But considering how old he is maybe smoke signals are more up his valley

(this is about Lilia)

Apparently he likes written letters, Anon, so maybe it will work just as nicely lol

Anonymous asked:

Great. I now low-key ship desperate/thirsty ghost and rook

Well, let’s be honest. Rook would.

[songbirdsanctuary]

Healing(A HC vent fic) part 3

This is a vent fic about something that happened to me a long while ago and my process of healing, I'm projecting this into some of my favorite Hermits.

Part 1: 🦜 Last part(2): 🐑

It's been a while since I've posted another part to it. I posted part 2 on Apr 21st.

Warnings: Mpreg, slight panic attack

Word count: 2,211

Mumbo walked over to the Boatem hole, his broken moth wing twitching slightly in the wind. Impulse, Scar, Pearl, and Grian greeted him warmly, their usual banter flowing, but Mumbo barely heard them. His mind was elsewhere—still tangled in a mess of shame, confusion, and exhaustion.

"You've been gone for weeks," Impulse said, nudging him lightly. The light touch made Mumbo stiffen. "We were starting to wonder if you'd flown off for good."

Mumbo forced a smile. "I’ve Just been... busy," he replied, the lie slipping out with practiced ease. He'd repeated it so often, it almost felt like the truth. But as soon as the words left his lips, Pearl's eyes narrowed, fixating on his broken wing.

"What happened to your wing?" she asked, her voice soft but insistent. She would be the first to notice, she was the only other moth hybrid on the server.

Mumbo’s heart skipped a beat, his stomach twisting into knots. "Oh, just snagged it on a tree," he lied again, trying to make his tone sound casual.

Pearl didn’t look convinced, her gaze lingering a little too long, but she simply nodded. "You should really see Docm or Stress about that," she advised, concern lacing her words.

"I will," Mumbo promised, though the last thing he wanted was another person probing his already shattered sense of self. He’d done everything he could to avoid dealing with it—the wing, the pain, the memories—but it was catching up with him. Fast.

‘‘

Two months passed, and Mumbo had kept his distance from everyone. He still hadn't sought any help for his wing, but a new problem had come up. He'd been feeling ill for days now—nausea that wouldn’t fade, exhaustion that clung to him like a heavy cloak. There were moments of dizziness, strange food cravings, he’d eaten a pickle with dry cereal and honey that morning, and he’d even been more emotional lately, though he couldn’t bear to admit it to anyone.

With a heavy sigh, he finally messaged Docm for a quick check-up.

<MumboJumbo> Hey Doc, could I stop by for a check up? If you have time

<Docm77> Sure come by in about 2 hours.

A couple of hours later, he arrived at Docm's base, his nerves frayed. Docm was methodical as always, no-nonsense but reassuring.

"So, what do you need me to check?" Docm asked, turning his attention to Mumbo.

Mumbo hesitated for a moment before speaking. He wasn’t ready for this. "Two things," he said quietly. "First... my wing. I think it’s broken."

Docm nodded and began inspecting the damaged wing, his brow furrowing as he examined it. After a few tense minutes, he looked up and gave Mumbo the news he’d been dreading.

"It’s permanently broken. I’m sorry." Docm said softly.

Mumbo felt a lump rise in his throat. He blinked rapidly, forcing the tears back. He wouldn’t cry—not here, not in front of Docm. Not where he was vulnerable. He swallowed hard and nodded, keeping his expression as neutral as possible.

"And the second thing?" Docm prompted, sensing the shift in Mumbo’s mood.

"I’ve been feeling... off," Mumbo began slowly, describing the symptoms—nausea, fatigue, food aversions. As he spoke, Docm’s expression grew more serious, and he started running a few tests. Mumbo’s anxiety spiked, his heartbeat drumming loudly in his ears.

After what felt like an eternity, Docm returned with the results, a surprised look on his face. "Mumbo... you’re pregnant."

The words hit Mumbo like a physical blow, and for a moment, the world tilted on its axis. His blood ran cold, and his body trembled with shock. "No," he whispered, his breath catching in his throat. "No, I can’t be..."

Panic welled up inside him, and before he could stop it, tears started to fall. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to carry the child of whoever had done this to him. It was too much—too painful, too cruel. He’d been doing everything he could to forget, to bury it, but this... this was something he couldn’t ignore.

Docm’s face softened as he realized what was happening. He reached out, trying to comfort Mumbo. "We can terminate it," he said gently. "But... we’d need to inform the other parent."

Mumbo’s breath hitched. "I-I don’t know… who the other parent is," he stammered, his voice barely a whisper.

Docm’s brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean, you don’t know?"

Mumbo squeezed his eyes shut, the words stuck in his throat. Finally, in a broken voice, he confessed, "I-I was ra-aped."

The room fell into a heavy silence. Docm’s shock was palpable, his usual calm demeanor faltering. "Mumbo... Oh, void… I’m so sorry."

Docm gently placed a hand on Mumbo’s shoulder, his voice filled with quiet understanding. "You don’t have to go through this alone. We’ll figure it out together."

But Mumbo could barely hear him over the storm of emotions raging inside. The fear, the shame, the anger—it all came crashing down at once, and for the first time in months, Mumbo let himself cry.

Docm sat across from Mumbo, his eyes filled with a mix of concern and confusion. The weight of what Mumbo had just revealed hung in the air between them, thick and heavy. He leaned forward slightly, speaking softly. “Have you told anyone else about this? About what happened?”

Docm looked like he wanted to hug Mumbo, but he wasn’t one for physical contact, and Docm seemed unsure if touching Mumbo would make him feel better or worse.

Mumbo swallowed hard, his fingers twisting together in his lap. “Only Scar and Grian,” he admitted, his voice shaky but steady enough. “They… they were there for me when it happened. But no one else knows… Please don’t tell anyone..”

Docm nodded slowly, processing the information. ”I won’t..” His face remained calm, but Mumbo could tell he was trying to be careful with his words. “And now that you know you’re pregnant… do you know what you want to do? Do you want to go through with it, or…”

Mumbo’s stomach twisted painfully at the question. He hated what had been done to him—hated the idea of carrying the child of someone he didn’t even know, someone who had violated him in the worst possible way. The thought of it had kept him up for nights on end, his mind swirling with horror and disgust. And yet, the idea of getting rid of it—the life inside him, however it had come to be—made him feel even worse. It turned his stomach in a way he couldn’t explain.

He shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. “No… I want to keep it.”

Docm’s eyebrows raised slightly in surprise, but he didn’t argue or push. He simply nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Alright. If that’s what you want, we’ll make sure you and the baby are safe.” He paused for a moment, as if weighing his next words. “But Mumbo… you know we’ll have to tell the others eventually. The server’s going to find out that you’re pregnant.”

Mumbo’s heart raced at the thought. His community—his friends—would know. They’d see him differently, maybe pity him, maybe be disgusted by the circumstances. He could already imagine the looks of confusion and judgment. But what scared him most was the idea that they might hate the child. That they might see the baby as something dark and unwanted.

“I know,” Mumbo said softly, his voice wavering. “But I’m not ready to tell them the whole truth yet. I don’t want them to know… not until after the baby’s born.”

Docm tilted his head, concern etching his features. “Are you sure? It’s going to be hard to keep something like this from them, especially as the pregnancy progresses.”

Mumbo looked down, his hands resting protectively over his stomach. “I don’t want them to hate the child before they’re even born,” he whispered. “The baby isn’t responsible for what happened to me. They didn’t choose this.”

Docm’s expression softened, and he leaned back, giving Mumbo space. “I understand. We’ll take it one step at a time, okay? And when you’re ready to tell the server, we’ll do it together.”

Mumbo nodded, feeling a strange mix of fear and relief. There was still so much ahead, so many uncertainties, but for the first time in a long while, he didn’t feel completely alone. Docm knew, and soon, the others would too. But for now, he would focus on what mattered most—protecting the life growing inside him.

..

Mumbo stood at spawn, his heart racing as he looked around. Xisuma sat calmly on a bench nearby, while Docm paced around, his hands occasionally flicking toward his datapad. Every now and then, Docm glanced at Mumbo, concern flickering in his eyes.

"You really should sit down, Mumbo," Docm advised for what felt like the hundredth time.

But Mumbo shook his head, his stomach too twisted with stress to even consider resting. "I can’t," he muttered, his hands trembling slightly.

The past two weeks had been a whirlwind. Since finding out he was pregnant, Mumbo had spent nearly every waking moment trying to process what was happening. But no matter how hard he tried, it still didn’t feel real. His mind was a mess, his emotions a constant swirl of confusion, fear, and… something he couldn’t quite identify.

He wasn’t ready to come to terms with it, but he also knew he couldn’t put this off any longer. The server deserved to know. They would notice soon enough anyway. And even though the thought of telling everyone terrified him, he had to do it.

Docm finally stopped pacing and stood beside him, giving a reassuring nod. "They’ll be here soon. You’ll be alright."

Mumbo didn’t respond. He just kept watching the empty spawn area, waiting for the others to arrive. Soon enough, they began to trickle in. First Scar, then Grian, Pearl, Impulse, and eventually the rest of the server members. They gathered, chatting and laughing, oblivious to the weight pressing down on Mumbo’s chest.

Docm made his way toward the group, and Xisuma rose from the bench, moving to stand next to Mumbo. The masked leader of the server gave Mumbo an encouraging nod before addressing the crowd.

"Thank you all for coming," Xisuma began, his voice calm but commanding as always. "Mumbo asked for this meeting, and he has something he wants to share with everyone."

Mumbo felt his heart hammering in his chest. He had rehearsed this in his mind a dozen times, but now that he was standing in front of everyone, the words felt stuck in his throat. For a moment, he considered turning back—just running away and hiding. But then he saw Scar and Grian in the crowd, both of them looking at him with quiet support, though their faces held a flicker of worry.

Taking a deep breath, Mumbo forced himself to speak. "I… I’m pregnant."

There was a stunned silence that fell over the group. Eyes widened in surprise, a few people exchanged glances, and there were even a few gasps. Mumbo could feel the tension building in his chest, his mind racing with worries that they’d think he was strange, that they’d judge him, or worse, that they’d pity him.

But instead, the reactions surprised him. Slowly, a few smiles began to appear. Some were shocked, but others—like Impulse and Pearl—looked genuinely excited.

"Wow, Mumbo! That’s… amazing!" Impulse blurted out, a grin spreading across his face. "Congratulations, mate!"

"Yeah! This is so exciting!" Pearl added, her eyes lighting up.

Would they still be this excited if he told them.

Mumbo managed a weak smile, though the anxiety still gnawed at him. He hadn’t expected that kind of reaction, but it didn’t soothe his nerves entirely. And then, the inevitable question came.

Xisuma, who seemed suprised as well, still standing by his side, glanced at him before turning to the group. "Mumbo," he asked gently, "who’s the other parent?"

A ripple of unease passed through Mumbo, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Scar and Grian tense slightly. Their worried expressions were subtle, but Mumbo knew they were just as nervous as he was.

"I’m not going to say… not yet," Mumbo replied, his voice shaky but resolute. "It’s not the right time."

There was a brief moment of tension in the air, but to Mumbo’s relief, no one questioned him further. No protests, no demands for answers. Everyone seemed to respect his decision, at least for now.

"That’s fine, Mumbo," Xisuma said, giving him a reassuring pat on the back. "Whenever you’re ready."

Mumbo felt a small wave of relief wash over him, though his heart was still racing. He had done it. He had told them. And they hadn’t reacted the way he’d feared. But there was still so much ahead—so much uncertainty about what was going to happen next. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it all, but for now, at least, the worst part was over.

As the crowd began to disperse, with many congratulating him or offering support, Mumbo allowed himself a small moment of peace. For the first time in weeks, he felt a flicker of hope that maybe—just maybe—things would be okay.

[4amode]

Hi, if you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 7 (or top 10) favorite media ever (can be book, anime/manga, tv series, movies, games, etc)? Why do you love them?

Also, can I ask your top 10 favorite characters ever (from any media)? Are the characters that you can relate the most, in your pinned post included in your top 10 fav characters? Sorry if I ask too much, thanks if you want to answer....

Of course I don't!! Thank you for the ask ♡

First and foremost, I am a huge consumer of fictional media: I read, watch, and am (more or less actively) involved in a ton of fandoms. That said, I'll mention the ones I return to most often, even without being prompted by fandom content like edits, fics, fanart, and so on.

Here's my top media [the order is random] :

Harry Potter with a special mention to the Marauders era, because I've completely lost mind and soul to that fandom [I’ve even cosplayed Remus a couple of times]. I’ve also read most of Rick Riordan's sagas, although I grew up with Harry Potter, so I suppose that's the one I’m most emotionally attached to [despite my deep-rooted disagreement with and disgust for J.K. Rowling's opinions]. To this day, I think it’s the fandom I’ve read the most fanfiction of

Tolkien: anything that wonderful human being wrote. The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, The Silmarillion, other Middle-earth tales. I’ve watched the movies an infinite number of times [yes, I am that nerd]. I may or may not also own a replica of Aragorn's sword.

Anything Sherlock Holmes. I’ve watched the BBC series, old movies, read the books—basically anything I could get my hands on.

MXTX novels. I started with The Untamed and completely lost it (specifically my dignity, given this endless list of fandoms). I’ve read the novels, manhua, and watched the donghua of MDZS, SVSSS, and TGCF—with MDZS undoubtedly being my favorite. I’m currently planning a Lan Wangji cosplay. Other honorable mentions along these lines: 2ha and Word of Honor.

Genshin. I play video games often, but Genshin is one of the few I’ve played consistently over the years. I also love the characters and the story. That said, I don’t agree with some of the company’s policies, but the fandom-generated content is often of amazing quality and is what keeps me attached to it.

Marvel and DC universes. I know some people might kill me for grouping them together, but I’ve followed both, especially back in high school. I’ve seen almost every Marvel movie, while with DC, it’s mostly been Batman and animation. Gotham is one of my absolute favorite shows [don't get me started on Batman villains]. For Marvel, Loki and Spider-Man are def my top picks.

Studio Ghibli. I watch a lot of anime [of course, duh], and I’ve cosplayed a few characters [not as many as I’d like, I admit]. But I’ve always had a strong emotional attachment to Ghibli movies. They’re still one of the few things that help me calm down when I’m anxious or stressed [which, sadly, happens often]. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve rewatched them.

Japanese BL dramas—I’ve watched a lot, as well as some Korean and Thai ones, but the ones I’ve rewatched the most have always been Japanese (not sure why that is), but I’ve enjoyed and would rewatch many of them. If I had to name the ones I’m most fond of, they’d be Cherry Magic, Kieta Hatsukoi, Utsukushii Kare, Absolute BL, and Bokura no Shokutaku.

TMA. I got into The Magnus Archives fairly recently compared to everything else. That’s mainly because I wasn’t used to listening to podcasts before TMA, I only stumbled upon it because of a TikTok audio. Also, I love anything horror. I fell in love with the story, how carefully it was constructed, and the characters.

Cinema [yes, I know it’s a very broad category]. I’m a cinematophile. I’ve watched a ton of movies—old ones, really old ones, every type and genre. Photography is one of my passions, so that made me a fan of cinema as well. I love the technical side, the history [I chose cinema history as an elective], and everything that comes with it. There are so many movies I love and consider masterpieces, but if I had to name a few I'm particularly attached to, it would be Call Me By Your Name, the Indiana Jones saga, and any Wes Anderson film.

I know you told me 10, but I'm sorry and hopeless. Anything Dark Academia coded: The Secret History, If We Were Villains, Dead Poets Society, The Goldfinch, Maurice, Dorian Gray, The Dreamers and so on

I picked the ones I’m most emotionally attached to, either because I’ve followed them since I was a kid or they helped me through tough times. There are so many more I didn’t mention, like Good Omens or The Witcher, and many webtoons, and anime which I’m just as into, but they didn’t make it to the list.

My top 10 characters:

Remus Lupin and Regulus Black [I have no words to express how much I love and relate to these two]

Snufkin [I am him, he is me, we are]

Wei Wuxian [I would let the world burn for this man, tough, as you might have guessed, my character is more aligned with Lan Wangji's, so it comes with the personality ig]

Thranduil Oropherion [he's the elven king of wood and stone, and he's very loud and daddy about it]

Milo Thatch [he's (excitedly) into history, archaeology, and linguistics, and we both give the you-really-do-not-want-to-get-them-started nerd vibe.]

Jonathan Sims [if on a good day I'm Milo Thatch, on a bad one I'm Jon], also I love how in some fics he wears long skirts, paranormal fear avatars can't be bothered with gender norms.

Newt Scamander [I find him very relatable. His stress in social situations and preference for animals or plants got to me. Also, he's so passionate and caring, love a good example of healthy masculinity.]

Suguru Geto [nothing to say on this, I love this man]

Loki [look, I have an issue with dramatic, gender-defying villains AND mythology, it was inevitable]

Sun Jing from Tamen de Gushi [I wish I was as cool as her, I love her so much]

Generally speaking, I tend to like morally grey characters, villains with redemption arcs or byronic heroes with a complex history who, in the end, try to do the right thing, even at the expense of self-sacrifice. Not in a selfless "it's the right thing to do" hero-complex kind of way, but more in a "I think I'm worthless and expendable, at least I'll try to do something good," angst, hurt/comfort kinda way.

I hope I answered all your questions, but if you have others, or you just wanna chat about it, just dm me!

[peachdues]

Hi Peach!

I have been trying to spend less time on Tumblr right now but I got some very bad family news and decided to treat myself to your blog and I’m really cheered up!

That teaser you posted and the fact we are getting a super emotional reunion✨second time✨ in TGW as well as a ✨first time✨ before we get to the aftermath of Tengen’s spicy lessons. Thank you for the meal

‘You’ve no idea, while I was gone I thought endlessly of you’ - I’m sorry it’s so emotional I won’t be able to take it I love him so much 😭

This may be spoiler territory (if it is tell me to shooosh) but will we see any of Giyuu’s POV thinking about reader in the infinity castle? 👀👀

AND NETHERWOOD Sanemi j*rking off and you saying we will be mad at him, reader about to leave him to go to a new village my heart is breaking, Peach you are such an awesome write - I’m still having fun trying to decipher your teaser images btw.

I was wondering between Kanae and Reader did Nemi have other girlfriends in between as he is super experienced with women

I know your inbox is sky high and even if you just see this message, I’ve seen that you’re struggling with your depression a lot recently, I hope you’re doing alright and taking time for yourself, doing what makes you happy and what helps clear your mind ❤️

-🫧🫧

(PS died when you mentioned Seelie Kyojuro as I am from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿)

MY BELOVED BUBBLE ANON!!

Hello my love!! I adore seeing you in my inbox, always!

I’m so sorry you’re going through a rough time right now. I really hope you’re able to take some time and get some rest and indulge in a bit of self care. I’m sending you lots of hugs, and since you’re in Scotland, some tea as well. I’m partial to crumpets so if you like them, I how you get to eat them however you like them! (I’m a slather it in butter girl myself)

As for TGW — hehehehehe I’m so glad you enjoyed the teaser!! TGW has been a lot of fun to write (even if I have to stop and research some new historical fact every two seconds). Sam said it reads more like a romance story (a smutty one ofc) and that makes me happy since that’s relatively new territory to me.

As for a Giyuu Infinity Castle POV — as of right now, I don’t have plans for one! There is a brief POV from him in a flashback from the night of his and Reader’s ✨first time✨ that will appear in Part II. The first time scene occurs during the Hashira training arc/right before infinity castle begins, so you will see a certain sun breather trying to get Giyuu to train with him as he makes his way toward the shrine to see his girl and pop her cherry

As for Netherwood…

😈😈😈

I will say, I know I have y’all stressed but many of you all commented on the strength of Sanemi and Reader’s love in Part III — just remember that! And remember how hard they both fought to get back to one another. That matters!

Regarding whether Sanemi had any “girlfriends” between Kanae and Reader — I’m not so sure he did. One, because he was pretty isolated in the Wood at his cabin, guiding strangers. Two, I think his “experience” is probably less than you’re thinking — he might not have been a virgin but he also wasn’t a sex god by any means. Reader has no experience prior to Sanemi, so I imagine she’s a bit biased when it comes to him — it probably seems like he’s much more experienced than she is by comparison. I think he knows enough about the mechanics and then just goes by pure instinct.

I’ve joked with a couple of mutuals that were she to talk to Kotoha she’d probably be like “what do you MEAN it’s not normal for your partner to have a knot?? How else does he keep all that cum insane??”

Thank you for the kind message, my friend!! I love when you all pop in and ask questions about the fics or even share your reactions. It truly makes my day. And thank you for checking in! Depression has been a bitch lately but I’m focusing on trying to make it MY bitch.

Please take care of yourself! I’m sending love and light your way.

PS — my head refers to you as my “Bublé” anon — like Michael Bublé.

🤍🤍🤍