#sorry im a fake fan ive been busy

[talkfastcal]

omfg i forgot theres new parx demos brbrbrbrb

[blindmagdalena]

i been listening to too much lana del rey, and You Can Be The Boss drives me so insane like it fits homelander so well in my mind GRAHHH. imagine being some employee for vought, not too low but not too high up. youre at a vought hosted party, supes and all that but you never really cared for that; after all, you only took this job because it paid well. the company party was mandatory but to be honest you were just looking for a chance to escape and go home. the dress you had on was too tight, the smell of alcohol and all the fake laughter overwhelmed your senses when you didnt even drink much. stumbling in the crowd of well dressed business men and gorgeous women, you walk straight into him, the homelander. he doesnt know why you really caught his attention, maybe he could tell you didnt belong among the crowd of money hungry business people and drunk out of their mind supes, or maybe the tight dress just complimented your figure a bit too well for him to brush you off. he doesnt make it obvious at first, he just laughs and assures you that you didnt cause him trouble by walking into him, "woah, you better watch your step dear... you alright?" he puts his hand on your waist although he knows you dont need help balancing yourself anymore. he really just wants your scent to last longer on him. like a bloodhound, later through the night he'll try to find you through the crowd of people, tracking the smell of that cheap perfume you wore. he finds you by some desk makeshifted into a well made table for the night, drink in hand he approaches you. "ah, you! youre the uh, the girl who walked into me earlier, right?" he asks even though he damn well knows the answer.

"oh, god, im so sorry about that, sir... i wasnt paying attention and-"

"oh, please... dont be sorry! hell, i should be thanking you for saving me from those black ties... ah, i never caught your name..."

although youre completely starstruck you manage to make some small talk, mentioning somewhere along the way that he was your favorite hero. he practically shows his smirk at this point.

"oh, please... what, you young people are still into classic supes like me?" he fucking knows the answer but he needs his ego stroked.

as you answer he leans over, grabbing a cocktail napkin (also using this as a sneaky opportunity to look over at your tits, just to see if hes really gonna do this.) and pulling out a pen, he carries one around everywhere just in case a fan comes up to him.

"c'mon... ill give you an autograph... ah, after this i have to go and y'know... give the big toast..." he practically sighs it out.

youre completely flattered... and, yeah, a little weirded out but hey, free autograph.

he hands back the now folded napkin, walking back into the crowd, cape flowing behind him as you lose sight of the red white and blue.

unfolding the napkin, you see written clearly his perfect signature.... under it, a phone number.

[AHHHH IVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING BEFORE AND I GOT CARRIED AWAY IM SORRY] i also didnt proof read so sorry if anything is misspelled!!

You hold on to that number for a couple of days, looking at it every so often. There's a new undertone of anxiety at work; suddenly you're nervous about running into him, even though it's never happened before. You don't work anywhere near the 99th floor, and yet there's a constant prickle at the back of your neck, the presence of the napkin in your pocket a constant reminder.

The feeling follows you home. You can't shake it, you can't stop thinking about it. About him. You pull out the napkin just to stare at it sometimes, to remind yourself that really happened. Why the hell would The Homelander give a nobody like you his number?

On the evening of the third day, thoroughly plagued by this accursed napkin burning a hole in your pocket, you finally call the number elegantly scrawled across it. It rings once, twice, thrice. Your heart is pounding so hard you can barely hear the ringing. There's a click, and your heart stops. You hear an amused huff of breath on the other end of the line in place of a greeting. "I was beginning to think you were blowing me off," Homelander says, but you think you can hear the smile in his voice. Your mouth feels dry, full of cotton. "No, no, I wasn't, uhm... Sorry, I would have called sooner, I was just—" "Nervous?" Homelander cuts in. His voice is low, and feels unbelievably intimate in your ear. You bite your tongue, feeling a flush crawl up your chest. "Don't be nervous, sweetheart. I'm glad you called."

You try to laugh it off, try to regain an ounce of calm. This guy really is larger than life, even over the phone. "Yeah? Why's that?" "Because I have not been able to get you off my mind," he purrs. You can't see the absent way he's flipping a pen, the same one he used to sign that napkin, between his fingers. Just like you couldn't see the way he has been watching you through the floors and walls of Vought tower, or in your own home, how his lips would twitch every time you pulled out that napkin to stare at his signature, and his phone number. Fuck, the fact you carried around that napkin everywhere haunted him. The way you would take it out just to stare or run your fingers along the writing was damn near reverent. The look of worship in your clueless eyes, totally unaware your god was watching you in your moment of prayer, was almost too much for him. Still, he remained patient, and now it's finally paying off. As all worthwhile hunts do. Caught off guard, you stammer, mouth opening and closing. "I, uhm, I've been thinking about you, too," you say. Your tongue feels clumsy, like a brick of lead in your mouth. "I really enjoyed meeting you that night."

"Well, I would hope so. You did tell me that I'm your favorite," he goes on. God, is he flirting with you, or trying to humiliate you? You're not sure which is worse. Your whole body feels hot, and your brain simply refuses to work correctly. "I'd just love to hear more about you." "So, like... Coffee?" You offer. Your hand is starting to tingle from how tightly you're gripping your phone. Is this really happening? You just asked The Homelander for a coffee date. "Not really a coffee kind of guy," Homelander replies. "How about dinner? My apartment in Vought Tower, tomorrow night. You like steak?" "Oh, okay, I— yes, I do," you fumble slightly, clearing your throat. "That'd be nice," you say, cleaning up your tone, attempting to gain any semblance of composure in this conversation. "Perrrrrfect," he rumbles. The near growl of his voice right in your ear makes you feel a touch faint. Jesus Christ. He must know exactly what he's doing. "It's a date." "It's a date," you echo, as if to confirm for yourself that's really true. "Okay, I will... see you soon." "You have a good night. Be seein' you." The line disconnects, and you're left in the too-loud silence of your apartment, staring at your phone in disbelief Holy shit.

[pepprs]

ME, BOLTING WIDE AWAKE AFTER FINALLY STARTING 2 FALL ASLEEP: I CAN SEND JESSIE MUELLER FANMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

[hwangsies]

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

-

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

-

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

-

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

-

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

 October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

-

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

-

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

  November

 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

 -

 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

-

 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

 December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

-

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

-

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

---

taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie

[t0shii]

pretending you're upset to get their attention

matsukawa issei, oikawa toru, suma rintaro x gn!r

!warnings! none/ lightly proofread

MATTSUKAWA ISSEI.

you sat in the living room, scrolling aimlessly through your phone while a random show played in the background until you heard the click of a door, meaning issei was FINALLY awake, thinking quickly of a plan, you threw a pout on your face and crossed your arms over your chest.

you scrunched your nose as he walked passed you, dammit guess im gonna have to take this a step further, you thought. so you added in a small sniffle, almost cracking a grin when you saw your boyfriend snap his head around from the corner of your eye. "baby? is everything okay?" he asks softly, his voice was a little hoarse and when you looked up at him his messy hair almost made you smile. you shook your head "no" as he walked over to your sitting position.

you choked out a dry sob praying your boyfriend didn't see through you."what's wrong babygirl?" his voice was so soft it was almost unrecognizable, he rarely talked to you like this. you looked down and shrugged your shoulders mumbling a "i dunno, issei" while he wrapped his arms around you and stroked the back of your head with his big hand. "oh baby, is there anything i can do for you?" you could practically feel the worry in his voice and you felt a little guilty. "just hold me please?" you ask, voice a little whiny so he has no choice but to say yes.

"of course baby. if this is because i took a nap without you im sorry, i did ask if you wanted to join but you said no so i thought it was okay." the way he was talking so cautiously and gentle caused you to let out a soft giggle, he immediately removed himself from the embrace he had you in."what's this? did you lie?" he had a big frown on his face and his eyebrows were furrowed so deep he looked like an old man he looked angry at you, guilt immediately crept up your chest and your heart started beating fast, is he mad at me? you thought.

"i-it was just a prank issei! i didn't mean to make you angry. i-im so sorry!" you explain, causing him to burst out in laughter, "i got youuuuu" you hummed a big grin on his face, "you can't trick me, princess" he said, tapping your nose with his pointer finger. "that pout you were wearing was pretty convincing though!" "you're mean, i thought i actually made you mad! your face was scary" you yell, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, "ohhh i'm sorry baby, i didn't mean to scare you! but if you wanted my attention you should have just asked from the beginning."

OIKAWA TOORU.

you had never had a problem with your boyfriends fangirls, infact, most of them were all really sweet to you and respected your relationship with tooru!you had been in the car while tooru got the two of you coffee, a few fans coming up to him while he was in line. you could clearly see them making conversation, you smirked mischievously when the light bulb above your head went off, perfect you giggled to yourself.

when you saw him open the coffee shop door you mentally prepared yourself for your prank. as he opened the drivers side door, your knees turned to point towards the passenger side door, you crossed your arms and looked out the window. immediately he knew something was up. "i'm back baby! sorry it took so long, they were kinda busy." he explained, climbing into the car. he held out your order to you which you carefully took from his hand and looked out the window again. he looked at you confused, "is everything okay, princess?" he asks cautiously, you only nodded silently, refusing to look his way. he let an airy "okay" then started the car.

he wanted to rest his hand on your knee like he always did but he figured you were upset at him for something so he decided against it, a small frown forming on his lips. the car ride was silent except for the occasional dramatic sigh from your lips. he looked over at you to make sure you were okay at every red light and traced the whole day back to try and figure out the cause of your sudden change in behavior. when you finally got home, you opened the car door as soon as he put the car in park, you decided against slamming the car door behind you because you know he hates it. you walked quickly up to your shared apartment coffee or any drink of choice in hand, leaving him behind.

oikawa couldn't help but be upset, he had no idea what he had done to deserve the silent treatment. he had a very obvious pout on his face as he walked through the door a few minutes after you. "y/n?" he found you curled up on the couch, blanket thrown over you, scrolling on your phone. "y/n?" he asked again, "d-did i do something wrong? your eyes snapped up when you heard his voice crack and suddenly you were regretting your little prank.your boyfriend fiddled with the hem of his shirt, avoiding eye contact, you felt horrible. "tooru, c'mere." you patted the space beside you but he stayed standing, "please?" he moved toward you. "i'm sorry for upsetting you but i really don't understand what i did! please tell me so i can make it right." he cried, leaning his head on your shoulder in defeat.

"tooru... i was just messing around with you baby. it was a just a prank, i swear. i didn't think it would make you upset, i'm sorry." you explained, reaching your hands up to run your hands through his hair. "it was only a joke? so you're not mad at me?" he asked looking up at you. "of course not- tooru, you haven't done anything wrong. i was just pretending to be upset over those fans who talked to you in the coffee shop but i didn't think you would get upset like this. im sorry.""ugh you're seriously so mean y/n! you really had me there." he said, letting out a sigh of relief, embracing you in a hug, "you owe me big time!"

SUNA RINTARO.

you currently lay on your boyfriends bed while he plays video games, sat in a chair in front of his tv. he hadn't been playing for all to long but it was late in the night and you were sleepy and needy for attention. you let out a yawn as you thought about how to get his attention, then the thought came to you and you felt like a genius.

you wiped the smirk off before getting up from his bed and slowly making your way over to his chair, putting on the best frown and puppy dog eyes you could manage. you tap on his shoulder lightly causing him to pause his game swivel his chair around to face you, "what is it princess?" he asks, you avoid eye contact with him and jut your lip out a little further and let out a sniffle, "oh no baby, what's the matter?" he asks softly, raising his arm to cup your cheek in his hand. you shrug your shoulders and bow your head lower, letting out a dry cry, "c'mere, what's wrong babygirl," he asks, guiding you into his lap, rubbing your back. you remain silent, fake sulking as you rest your chin on his shoulder, "if you don't wanna talk about it thats okay baby. tell me when you're ready, 'kay?" you nod your head and smile to yourself as he continued to play his game.

your fingers played with suna's hair, your eyelids began feeling heavier and heavier as you listened to his breathing and the sound his controller was making, soon you fell asleep, cheek smushed against shoulder. your boyfriend only noticed you fell asleep around 20 minutes later when he asked if you were feeling okay but only got a quiet snore in return. he kissed your shoulder softly, whispering a small "goodnight," a smile creeping on his lips as he grabs a nearby blanket and lays it over your back. you definitely didn't have fun waking up in the same position you fell asleep in a few hours later, your boyfriend still playing at the same game. "rintaro?" you mumble, "what time is it?", "i dunno. are you feeling better though?", you nod your head and give his neck a few kisses before falling asleep again.

a/n been having a suna brainrot recentlyyyy in love w that man. also suna's is VERY self indulgent 😔 sorry p.s. i came up w this idea while writing a request but im like 75% sure ive seen it somewhere else before but i cant remember from who or where.

[cloudystevie]

Oh how abt a Disney date w/ Chris or Steve?

we in a christopher robert evans mood tonight folks

also im sorry i dont know much about the disney realm because i never grew up watching it and ive never been to either of the amusement parks so i’ll gather my knowledge from all the youtube videos i used to religiously watch about them ajjsjs

thank u so much for the request bubs!!

it was no surprise to the world that chris evans was a disney fanatic.

he had been to the parks at least 300 times and watched each movie 50 times over and memorized the soundtrack

you liked disney, but you weren’t obsessed with it like he was. you didn’t get what was so special about it.

you had been dating chris for a year now and somehow he hadn’t taken you on a date to disney

no matter how busy your man was, he always made time for a weekly date night, whether it would happen over facetime or in real life, there was not a chance in the world he would miss it

your boyfriend had been home for the past couple of weeks, he didn’t have any major projects going on so he really enjoyed spending time with you at home

one day you’re lounging on the couch in the massive living room reading a book, when your boyfriend comes up to you and presses kisses all up your bare legs until he reaches your neck

you giggle at the feeling of his beard tickling your soft skin and put your book down to pay attention to him

he leaned over you and had a huge smile on his face “hi”

you beamed at him, scrunching your nose at how cute he was, “hi baby”

he flipped you two over until you were straddling his lap

“i was thinking...”

and that’s how you ended up at disney land with chris

you would never admit it to him but you were actually very excited

as a child you had always dreamed of going but you never could so now that it was happening, 8 year old you was jumping up and down

chris was obviously super excited, but watching your reactions to everything for the first time just made his heart burst

he was so happy to be the first one to share this very sacred experience with you

he took you on all the rides

and after every single one

without a doubt

he would be practically jumping asking you if you had fun or not

somehow all throughout the day no fans stopped and asked for pictures

not that chris minded at all, he just really wanted to make this special for you

you two did all the couple-y shit everyone did that you always fake puked over when you saw it on instagram

he stood behind you with his muscular arms wrapped around your waist as you two waited in line for his favourite ride since he was a kid

you rested your head against his massive chest and finally took a moment to breathe

it had been a super busy day and it was starting to near sun set time

you weren’t really the type to get emotional over silly little things like this but chris knew that you weren’t all that privileged growing up and you rarely got to have these kinds of experiences

you couldn’t help the tears that pricked your eyes and the single one that managed to slip out

chris being the ever so attentive boyfriend that he is, immediately turned you around his arms cupping your face in his hands

“what’s wrong princess?” his voice was laced with concern

you looked at him and gave him a huge smile, “nothing i promise, i’m just super happy to be here.”

chris couldn’t help but kiss you and you both smiled, lips still connected

“thank you” you mumbled against his lips

he didn’t say anything except for give you another sweet kiss as you two moved forward in line

it was a couple hours later and the fireworks were about to go off

the pretty colours lighting up the sky had always excited you as a little girl

and this time was no different

you watched mesmerized as the sky was filled with vibrant colours

your arms around chris’ waist, leaning your head on his shoulder as he trailed his hand up and down your back soothingly

he tried to watch the fireworks, but you were simply a much better view

he loved seeing you so carefree and happy

he felt all warm and bubbly inside as the last firework (and the brightest) was about to go off

he held your jaw and kissed you. whispering i love you against your lips

you couldn’t have been more content in your life

until chris whispers against your lips

“the night is still young princess, i’m gonna take you back to the hotel and make sure you really never forget this day.”

you warmed up at his words as he led you two to the car. preparing for a long night

okie hi bubs! i hope this one isn’t too long? i cant add a read more thing so i dont wanna clog up peoples feeds. lemme know what you guys think !!!

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[emsartwork]

Could we get some AU!interactions between the Winx and Specialists?

YES ABSOLUTELY THIS WAS SO FUN 

we’ve been working with the same agency for a while but there’s a policy against agents dating even though we’re obviously attracted to each other though now we have to go undercover as a couple and idk how im gonna manage not falling in love with u for real (spy!au, fake dating, mutual pining, battle couple)

the king has been hunting witches down and executing and even though im very busy with my coven plotting to assassinate the king i saved you and healed your wounds because its The Right Thing To Do //you’re one of the last real fae-blooded witches and i was hunting for you to kill you when i was attacked and you saved me but you don’t know who i am and oh no i think im in love (fantasy!au, forbidden love, secret royalty, hurt/comfort, mistaken identity)

ive seen you in the shop and at school and i think we’re studying similar subjects cus we have a lot of classes together and i think you’re very good looking but also absolutely terrifying and FRICK I JUST DUMPED AN ENTIRE COFFE ON YOU WHILE TRYING TO PEAK AT YOUR WORK IM SO SORRY//I’ve been working on my thesis for HOURS when you dumped all this coffee on me and shorted out my laptop and now you are going to help me re-write everything or i am going to KILL YOU (punk!tecna, college!au, coffeeshop!au, meet-ugly, you owe me one)

literally just a hades and persephone au don’t judge me (deity!au, slow burn, brooding boy gentle girl)

we’re the leaders of rival summer camp groups and your kids are gonna EAT MY KIDS’ DUST and also could i maybe get ur number for like. scheduling purposes no other reason what-so-ever (camp!au, rivals to lovers, in denial, everyone can see it) Nex looks so weird here im sorry

I can totally swim but a bee flew at my face and you “rescued” me and omg ur really hot i don’t think i remember how to swim now help//why tf would you come to the pool if you cant swim are you an idiot actually ur kinda cute you want me to teach you how to swim? (lifeguard!au, teacher and student, built on a lie, but its ok cus its cute, flustered nabu)

ok i know my record label hired you because ive been having issues with stalkers but do you have to be tough and grumpy all the time im going to get you to smile if its the last thing i do//my agency assigned me to protect you from psycho fans but they don’t know im actually a huge fan of your music and i need to keep it low key or else i’ll get reassigned stop being so frickin cute (popstar!au, bodyguard!au, flirting idiots, kidnapping maybe, mutual trust, shared trauma lmao)

(btw if any one wants to write/draw anything based off these ideas please feel free!)

[fanficsrusz]

Diamond Ring - Keanu Reeves Oneshot

A/n so this was requested by @xjjlex. I hope you enjoy it since i tried my best but i dont think i did it justice 😅

_________________________________________

Pulling on the emerald green dress, y/n felt self-conscious despite the fact that she looked beautiful. She couldn’t help but feel this way, it was only natural that she did.

y/n had been dating Keanu for just over a year and it had only gone public a few months ago, causing her to be pulled into the world of celebrities as she watched her social media gain more and more attention as the days past.  At first she thought she could do it since 99.9% of keanus fans loved her and thought she was perfect for him. However, sometime last week, the hate started to pour in from the other 0.1% of fans who hated anyone who got anywhere near keanu. It had now become a daily occurrence for her to look in the mirror as the nasty comments swam around her head. ‘Ew shes ugly’ ‘why would keanu ever like her’. Despite the thousands of other positive comments, the negative ones stuck in her mind. Especially now that she had to go to a red carpet event for ‘john wick 3’ with keanu.

To busy playing with random strands of loose hair she didn’t see keanu walk up behind her, it was only when he wrapped his arms around her waist that she looked at his reflection in the full length mirror. “Wow. you look beautiful” he whispered, placing chaste kisses down her neck causing her to smile. No matter how much she hated herself, keanu always made her feel on top of the world. She turned around in his arm and wrapped her own arms round his neck. Looking up into his eyes  “how about we just don’t go to the event and stay here instead so we can have our own little event” she smirked as she pulled him into a kiss which he gladly returned. He pulled away from the kiss “as much as I would love to do that, we need to go. Besides, Halle said she needed to tell me something``. y/n dropped her arms to her side as she felt the oh so familiar feeling of jealousy washed over her body. Keanu didn't notice as she walked sadly away into the bedroom, instead he continue getting dress.

y/n sat down on the bed as she waited for keanu to finish getting ready. All she had heard for the last couple of months was Halle this and Halle that from keanu. She thought nothing of it at first since they were co-stars but her judgement was clouded with self-doubt from the negative comments she had been getting. ‘Why would keanu want to be with me when he can have girls like Halle Berry?’ she thought to herself as she played with the heart necklace that  keanu had gotten for their year anniversary. “y/n?” keanu snapped her out of her thoughts as he stood in front of her now fully dressed. “don’t you agree?” he asked “with what?” she replied and keanu just laughed “with the fact that Halle is very beautiful”. The words hit y/n like a brick wall despite the fact that she had missed the context in which he had said it and she didn’t know how else to respond but with anger and sadness mixed into one. “She is very beautiful. Unlike me” she snapped just as the front door bell rang and she walked towards the door with a very confused keanu following her. “y/n? Whats gotten into you?”  but she just ignored him trying to hold back the tears. Keanu pulled her back to get her to answer him. “Tell me why you’re acting like this” his voice had a tone of agitation in it and y/n just looked at him. “ sure you don't know. Always talking about how beautiful Halle is. Why don't you just go date her if shes so perfect.” y/n didn't know why she was acting like this really, it never bothered her before all the comments. She continued to the door, Pulling open the door she tried her best to smile at keanus manager who stood there. “y/n you look lovely. Are you two ready to leave?” he asked looking between the two unaware of the tension between them. y/n nodded and walked towards the car, leaving keanu behind.

As she slid in the car she wanted to just cry as thoughts rushed through her mind. ‘maybe once this is all over I should just end things with him. That way everyone would be happy’. Keanu soon slid next to her as he whispered into her ear. “Look i don't know why you're acting like this but we’ll talk about it later. If I said something to upset you, im sorry” she looked at him angrily. “ you don't even know why you're apologising” and that was the last thing she said for the rest of the car ride there. “y/n you're actually starting to annoy me. Your acting just like a child” Keanus manager looked at the pair through the rear view mirror and gave keanu a  look and the words made y/n’s heart break. This was one of the first times they had ever argued.

Soon they were pulling up to red carpet and y/n sighed. She really didn't want to be doing this right now. However before she knew it, keanu was opening her car door and helping her out. As much as she was angry right now, she couldn’t ruin his career and so played along until they were inside and away from the cameras. Once inside she excused herself from keanu and walked towards the toilet. Walking towards the mirror she looked at herself and felt disgusting, fat and like she just wanted the world to swallow her whole. ‘Maybe I am just a child’ she thought, the door opening caught her attention and a girl in her late teens walked in, she wasn't that much younger that y/n. The girls face lit up as she looked at y/n before she squealed causing y/n to jump in surprise. “OH MY GOD!!! YOU’RE Y/N Y/L/N” she fumbled around in her bag for a bit of paper and a pen before continuing “i love you so much. You're sooooo beautiful and your fashion sense it out of this world. And you're dating keanu reeves. Girl you’re so lucky” the words made y/n feel a lot better about herself as she signed the paper for the girl and took a few pictures.

Soon y/n stepped out of the toilet and her previous self-doubt was washed away and she made her way over to keanu, ready to tell him about what had just happened. She could hear his voice just beyond some people and as she pushed her way past them she saw john smiling and laughing with someone, then she groaned inwardly. There stood Halle, looking gorgeous as ever and then she remembered why she felt so sad again. Just by watching keanu laugh at something Halle said, y/n knew she couldn’t match with her.   “Ah y/n, there you are. I would like you to meet Halle, Halle this is my beautiful girlfriend y/n” keanu pulled y/n to his side as he introduced them and y/n attempted a fake smile. “I've heard so much about you y/n. Anyway keanu as i was saying……” Halle practically brushed her off and kenau just continued to talk like nothing happened. y/n felt so small and invisible and so pulled away to go sit down to wait for the film to start. Now that she thought about it really, keanu had been spending a lot of time with Halle even in between filming and even after they had finished and so she began to panic about the state of her relationship. Soon enough everyone had begun to sit down so they could watch the film.

Sitting next to keanu, y/n couldn't focus on the film as she thought of her relationship with the man to her side. Yes she loved him with all her heart, but how much did he love her?. She stood up not standing the heat of the room and made her way outside, keanu gave a confused look before following her out. Once outside, y/n leaned against the railing as tears rolled down her face. “y/n?” keanu called out softly as he approached and y/n just looked down. “Go away keanu” but he didn't listen instead he turned her around. “Why are you crying? You’ve been acting weird all day” keanu pulled her into a hug and y/n wanted to just pull away but she couldn't deciding on spilling her heart to the man in front of her instead. “I'm sorry i can't be what you want. I'm sorry i can't be Halle. I'm sorry I can't be the one you love, I will leave you alone when we get home. You're right. I am just a child” y/n sobbed harder and keanu pushed to hold her at arms length so he could look at her properly as he wiped the tears away from her face. “y/n no don't be sorry. I should be the one to apologise. I shouldn't have called you a child. You're not. I'm an idiot for saying those words. Now tell me where this has all come from.” y/n sighed and began to tell him. “The comments on social media have just been getting to me lately and you've been hanging around with Halle for so long lately and she's so beautiful and you should just be with her” keanu laughed now and she just looked at him. “y/n why listen to them. What on earth do they know about me or you or how i feel about you and secondly Halle is just a friend and there is a reason ive been with her more lately” he paused and stepped back as he reached into his pocket, he dropped to one knee as he pulled out a velvet box. y/n pulled her hands to her chest. Looking up, he opened the box revealing a small diamonds ring “I wasn't planning on doing it like this but y/n y/l/n, You have made me the happiest man ever, you make me smile at the smallest thing and you make this old man feel 17 again. When i come home stressed after a long day at work, you make me feel better just by being you. You're the only one who has made me feel like this and you're the only one who i will ever love. And dont even get me started on the sex” he laughed and so did y/n “will you marry me?” y/n couldn't even speak and just nodded and so kenau placed the ring onto her finger. Standing up, y/n jumped onto keanu as he spun around. “I'm sorry I made you doubt yourself.” keanu whispered as he kissed y/n. “No, im sorry I even listened to the stupid comments” she laughed and he just looked into her eyes not saying anything. “What?” she asked laughing and keanu shook his head “I just proposed to the most beautiful women I have ever met and I don't know what to do next. I know. I need to go run inside and tell everyone” and that's just what he did. He ran inside dragging y/n inside. The second he pushed open the door and saw that the film had finished and everyone was talking and so  he screamed at the top of his lungs “I'M GETTING MARRIED TO Y/N Y/L/N” y/n stood next to him in embarrassment as everyone cheered. As people came up to congratulate them both, a reminder popped up on her phone. She looked at it and the reason she had been feeling so sad lately had become clear. The words ‘Today is the day you are due on your period’ flashed on the screen and y/n laughed showing keanu who just gave her an amused laughed. At that moment she made three promises to herself. 1. Turn off the comments, 2. Give herself an earlier reminder of her period and 3.. She would always trust and love keanu.

The end

_________________________________________

Taglist

@gwenebear

[superaestheticbangtan]

Ive been waiting for this moment

this was a request from @kpopgirlbtssvt

i hope you enjoy it! sorry it took so long to post since ive been super busy but im glad that ive done it now.

this is a taehyung x american reader SOULMATE AU

(IN THIS UNIVERSE WHEN YOU MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOUR SOULMATE SPARKS APPEAR)

Warnings: None

Genre: flufffffff

EDITED

hi. so if you dont know me, im ___ and i live in america. as a kpop fan it is very incontinent that i live so far away, as im always anticipating a new comeback from a new group as a stan multiple.

life is very different over here than in korea anyways, as i am a small not very known ice skater. ive been an ice skater since i was young and as ive been doing it for so long, i feel at one with the ice. ive become so in sync with it and i do it pretty much everyday. i always hoped since i was a little girl that i would be famous, but now i dont really mind, as long as i do ice skating i dont mind.

i was sat at home, scrolling through tumblr and other social medias, as i saw that bts made a tweet and it was Taehyung (aka my actual husband) and its convenient that i speak korean as i read it, it said;

 ‘Hello America! Im excited for the concert soon! See you soon ARMYS #V’

I WAS SO EXCITED, i actually managed to get tickets this time but they were so close to getting sold at like 2 seconds after they were put up. it was a big chunk of my money taken but i wont regret it.

for the rest of that day, i sat around not really doing much as i prepared my lungs and feelings for tomorrow night.

+time skip+

it was the next day and i could actually feel my tearducts preparing themselves. did i not mention that i managed to get front row tickets? it was a huge amount of money but as i said, i wont regret it.

a few hours past and the time for me to leave came upon. i must say i dont look too shabby today as i dressed up a little bit- but not too much.

i gather all of my belongings as i head out my door for a long drive. i sit in my car, and play their cds and jam out to them.

half way through they've played loads of bops including FAKE LOVE, IDOL and even BS&T.

i was jamming out when suddenly Magic Shop came on which was definitely one of my favourites and so i reached out my arms towards the stage and started bopping out. as soon as taehyung started singing, i was looking upon him as he was stood so close to me.

he just so happened to look down and our met at once.

its like time stopped.

his visuals lit up the huge screen and his eyes were locked on mine.

the world seems to slow down

i can no longer hear the screams of the other screaming fans and sparks flew all over the stage and around us.

his verse soon ended and he had to look away, but as he did he had a huge spread grin across his face. his smile was giddy and he got really excited and started jumping across the stage to the beat.

all the girls around me start screaming 

‘OMG HE LOOKED AT ME’

‘OH MY LORD WE HAVE TO BE SOULMATES I FELT THE SPARK’

‘OPPA LOOKED AT ME’

and i started doubting myself. what if it wasnt me?

after another hour, the concert finished and everyone was ecstatic. everyone gets up to leave the arena when a member of staff comes up to me and asks me if i know korean. i answer yes and they ask me to go with them.

i follow and they lead me backstage. as i open the door im greeted with a bunch of sweaty boys which was hOT. me and taehyung made eye contact and a huge smile meets his face.

he comes up to me and leads me to a different room.

we speak for a while and time seems infinite. i finally get to know him more than on stage.

he says ‘it seems like its gotten too late. you should head home ____! i have your contact details, but i need to admit that i will miss you a lot. as we just finished a world tour, we have to go back to korea in a few days.’

‘ah, i understand tae. i will miss you a lot too. its a shame that i may not see you for s while/ i sadly smile.

‘WAIT i know this is gonna sound crazy, but come with us! it is crazy but ill miss you too much, i already like you so much!’ he whines

‘but ill be leaving so much behind. i even need to pack..’ i trail off

‘yeah. its fine, you didnt have to-it was just a suggestion’ his shoulders slump as he looks down.

‘that doesnt mean i wont. once i pack up, ill come and move to korea’ i smile brightly.

‘ahhh thats my girl!’

[freckliedan]

Hi! I noticed you have they/them as your pronouns and I was just curious (because same) how I should, when it’s safe - of course- and respectful to do so, correct people when they use the wrong pronouns and also tell new people about how to address me? It’s genuinely not something awful when I’m called she/her but when I’m close enough to people, i try to bring it up. Except my issue is I can hardly manage to correct someone when they mispronounce my actual name (accidentally)..ahh. I’m shy :(

hi! i’m sorry it took me so long to answer this ask b

i don’t actually have the most experience with correcting people when they use she/her for me; the only place where i exclusively use they pronouns is here, with my closest friends, and in definitively lgbtq+ spaces? but at this point All of my closest friends use either they/them, they/she, or he/him pronouns (side note: he/him wlw i would fight and die for you), so i have a bit of practice correcting pronouns for other people? 

that’s maybe the easiest way i can think of to correct pronouns-to have a person or two you’re closer with at school or work or in your family (depending on which contexts are applicable and which are safe for you!) support you by reminding other people of the right pronouns? me, my gf, and our best friend miles all work together, and miles exclusively uses they/them; they also has anxiety, so once they were ready to be out at work, we just started using they pronouns for them all the time, even in conversations with other folks. bc they weren’t always easily able to correct people! something we would do a lot is repeat back things people said that misgendered them, but with the right pronouns? so if someone said “yeah, is a really hard worker” i might say “yeah, they are” back? it’s sometimes a lot easier standing up for other people than yourself, at least in my experience.

that kinda pre-supposes you having trusted people who are good about pronouns, though! so. i think another good way to get people used to pronouns besides he and she is to use a friend as an example, if you have other friends who use they/them pronouns? like if the friend is okay with it you can discuss them or mention stories including them, and use they/them pronouns the whole time, or even be like “oh yeah, my friend so and so uses they/them pronouns bc they’re . that can kind of get people more used to they/them pronouns and give you a chance to feel out if a situation is fully safe to be out in? and you can start training people to do better with respecting your friend’s pronouns, first. (if you don’t have any other friends who use they/them feel free to send me a message sometime, b,or if that’s too scary you can just call me ur friend/use me as an example as a blogger or something!). it’s a bit easier to segway into “i also use they/them pronouns” if someone already has a frame of reference for what that means! 

another good thing that can push through awkwardness is to just be aggressively normal about things? like it’s maybe even a thing you could practice while alone or with a friend you’re already out to. but like being like “hi, i’m , my pronouns are they/them!” having a friend or friends that you’re out to helps with that kind of normalization, because you can have your friends introduce themselves with pronouns, too, if it’s an option. it can work in conversation if someone misgenders you, too- like if you’re there and someone says she or her or girl or woman in reference to you, just be like “i use they,not she” or them not her (i also love unit as a replacement for boy or girl and person works as a replacement for woman or man) in a casual normal way and if they start being all apologisey and focusing it on how baaaaAaAaAd they feel being like “you don’t have to draw attention to it by apologizing, just try to do better!” i know none of that is easy to do, at ALL, but if you’e able to practice it might help?

since starting work at my practicum, I’ve discovered that in a lot of nonprofits and more progressive business settings, people have started including their pronouns in email signatures, even cis folks, to try normalizing introducing introductions that include pronouns? idk if that’s applicable to you though!

something that helped me start to be braver when i was younger - and hear me out on this! - was pretending to be not myself? like, i did a lot of theater when i was younger, that’s part of where i got the idea for like.. “acting” in situations that weren’t necessarily theater? but i also did so with a fandom spin. like, i had to get blood drawn in my senior year and it super is not a thing i like at all? and at the time i was a huge s*pernatural fan, so was like “be brave like the w*nchesters be brave like the w*nchesters you can do this” and it actually helped. sometimes when i’m trying to get past the aggressive salespeople at the mall kiosks (they’ve gotten me before i bought a lotion) i try walking like the winter soldier from marvel movies and putting off “don’t fuck with me” vibes. i was starting to get anxious during the SATs writing section and was like “it’s okay be like hermione” and like.. i don’t necessarily do that with specific characters anymore in such a strong way? 

but i do still sometimes let myself lean into different versions of myself where i focus on a different trait or different version of who i am and let that be how the world sees me? at my practicum i work with a group of young lgbtq+ folks and i’m not gonna lie, i was super fucking anxious on my first day! but i leaned into my stage-manager-self and letting myself perform being confident and capable and sure of myself in a no-nonsense kind of way? stage-manager-energy for me also has slightly different body language-i stand different, i carry something to take notes on sometimes. props help sdjfklsjd. but that let me have a false confidence when first meeting these kids, and it eventually turned into real confidence? and i wasn’t being fake about who i am in a way that would eventually come back to bite me, bc it was just a stretch of the truth not a disney channel original movie disaster lie?

or like, sometimes when im feeling dysphoric or anxious about the way i choose for the world to see me i’ll wear more black than i usually do and do my best to live my truth and take comfort in the fact that dan would be proud of me. hm. i’m getting on a bit of a tangent here but it’s something that’s helped me be more confident a lot over the years? being good to myself because i know it’s what a character or person i’m a fan of or know in real life and love very much would want for me?

also something that helps for me for having hard conversations with close friends is like.. sometimes having them by text even if we’re in the same room? typing can be so much easier than talking. a format for saying that could be saying “hey, i started to use they/them pronouns online and i actually am a lot more comfortable with that than she/her, could you start using they/them for me in ? 

oh also i’m fairly certain there’s probably nonbinary youtubers out there who might have better advice than me about this specific subject? my gf actually watches a lot more youtube than me - i only watch dnp, but they watch a ton of different folks including ash hardell? and from what ive seen ash might have some kind of video more helpful than my big ol ramble.

i hope some or all of this helped? it’s a tough thing that i’m still really learning to navigate for myself instead of just as a support to friends, so i’m not sure how much of this is anything at all, but i hope that something in here was worthwhile and if you ever wanna come back and chat again, on anon or off, i’d be happy to listen to you

[minblush]

Youre one of the only fans I know that really makes me think “deep” haha. There would be times where I wouldnt want to read your opinions not that theyre wrong but because I start feeling negative towards the boys (cos you speak some real af shit) and it makes me feel guilty 🤕 just a weird feeling of disconnect. But I think its healthy to think about these things rather than eating up everything they throw towards us. (1/?)

smoljwimin said:I see fans be so oblivious and fight over petty things when theres actual issues regarding bangtan and BH. Like Alot of them were ok with the nicki issue. If it werent for you voicing it out I wouldve never known there was an issue. Ive never been one to think about these things, I just listen to music and keep it moving but because bts titled themselves as socially aware you cant look past their fuckups. (2/?)

smoljwimin said:Also Idk if its just me but I feel so annoyed when fans call them woke kings haha that to over tiny things. If they wear rainbow coloured clothes then theyre lgbt woke when its their stylists dressing them up and besides yoongi none of them have said anything on it. The list goes on. Regardless of it all, I love the boys and them only so much, like others theyve helped me get (3/?)

smoljwimin said:through my shit so I hope I can disconnect enough where these things stop bothering me but not so much that my love for them dissipate ykwim? Cos idk myself lol. Idk why im telling you this, I just feel like your blog is a good space to share ones opinion *sigh* hope I didnt say anything offensive. xxx (4)

my opinions are just my opinions honestly, i’ve said this many times but i’m just a dumb person with a blog, my opinions aren’t really that deep or anything, i just vent my feelings and i like discussing things with people! i’m a boring person i watch debates in my free time and junk.. but i appreciate that some of my word salad is valuable to you? in some way maybe, if i understand it right haha.. but i’m sorry that there is a feeling of discomfort, like that’s usually connected with cognitive dissonance and i experience it too :( i’m not immune to it… but yeah it’s the same for me.. i’ve stanned idol groups before and i never really held them to such standards because like, they were idols and they were fake and you took what you got, but bts built themselves on the notion that there is more to them, how authentic and genuine they are, socially conscious and outspoken and just real!! so when things happen that contradicts that, it’s just a bit painful, especially if you had believed in them before.. they also helped me through a lot but i feel like i reached the point where i can’t really look past all that stuff as much? i’ve been trying to like re-configure my relationship with them cause i still like them as people and their music, but then this whole issue happened again and it’s just.. hard.. really hard.. and don’t worry, you didn’t say anything offensive and i appreciate you sharing your opinion ;; ♥

Anonymous said:yeah tbh it always made me uncomfortable when people would praise bighit and look up to the company as if they were gods 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ they’re a company and that’s all they are. they care about their business first and foremost. idk i just stan bts and i couldn’t care less about bighit

yeah exactly, i think it’s because both bighit and bts have pushed for this air of family that surrounds them which makes people stan for both the company and the artist, which is what the company wants ofc it makes people more loyal and lenient to managerial mistakes, but yeah, companies by default are there to make money, bighit has shown that really clearly too so..yea

Anonymous said:As someone that was really like.. with them for a while. Almost 3 years starting around I need U I’ve come to a place where I literally can’t be a fan.. like they’ve lost all credibility and sense of just integrity to me. I wonder how u’re still a fan when u see this shit, is it compartmentalizing or? Genuine question btw I’m not judging I just wonder how some bts fans w critical thinking can still have this love for them as a band (not as people- that i get)

i have been with them for a long time too and i agree with you as well, and well yes i have been struggling with this, probably it is compartmentalizing? like for me, i love them as people but now i find it hard to support them as a band or what they stand for cause what is that really? like the day the nicki thing blew up, i got home and took down all my slogans and posters of them and i cried, i was really sad cause that to me was the final nail in the coffin.. and i was gonna stay away from them but also i’m really attached to them and they helped me a lot in my life, i met amazing people thanks to them, and they got me to leave a really toxic relationship after like 7 years of not being able to do so… so to me that meant a lot.. so it’s hard to sever those ties.. it goes very deep for me, ykwim? i like them as people but am hurt and disappointed by what they are as a group these days, right now i wouldn’t say i even stan anymore, casual fan maybe? i just keep an eye on them… kind of hoping that someday things could get better again.. even though it’s naive, i just feel like they are good and talented people.. still somewhere… and that their group and company decisions are bad.. all wrong..

Anonymous said:Dude, you probably have problematic friends too, and either don’t know about it or have forgiven them for whatever stupidity they’ve done in the past that maybe someone else who does not know them is still judging them for. If ppl are unfollowing it’s probably bc they don’t like that rigid and self-righteous world view you are advocating, and pointing fingers at others bc you think they don’t measure up. It is very unpleasant to hear, sorry. Pls reflect instead of faulting others all the time.

false analogy, the rest is an ad hominem fallacy, either way are you really criticizing me for having a strong opinion on things like glorification of pedophilia? mmm well i will continue to do so :) either way if you wanna discuss things critically let me know, i’m always open to discussion and i change my mind easily if new evidence is presented :3

[konicichan-blog]

5am thoughts: theory: Story Of Light

is it called the Story of Light because its Shinee telling us and the whole entire world that they will no longer grief in sadness and that they've moved on and accepted what has happened? I'm sure we all know Shinee may still be sad (and maybe more than that) but what if this whole album is telling us that shinee, that all the members, Minho, Onew, Key, and Taemin are ready to have a new beginning? Like, they're ready to let all the sadness go and accept what has happened and that they will continue to work and grow.

What if You&I was about them talking about Jonghyun? Like, what if this song is about them trying to talk to Jonghyun? And theyre all trying to tell him that its hard when he's gone like they dont know what to do. "I’m the only one hurting, I may look fine I’m not easy, my feelings aren’t for decoration" And like they're all reminiscing their memories with him. All those good times that they're not ready to let go of. "A handful of memories, I laugh and remember every day" (okay the lyrics arent in order but JJJJust lemme finish and fyi, its gonna be a lOoong one). "There are countless stars in my heart, there’s one star that shines painfully I don’t want to grab it but I don’t want it to go out" okay in this part i think they maybe talking about Jonghyun. Maybe the stars represent people and "theres one star that shines painfully" might be Jonghyun. A star... someone really special to them... is hurting deep inside. Maybe Shinee is trying to tell us that although a celebrity or ANY person in general who may seem happy in front of the cameras or may seem happy in the outside in general is actually in deep pain inside. Dealing with self doubt, depression and all that and we just dont know :( "The things I can’t throw away make me smile" this is kinda self explanatory. Jonghyun, someone they love, someone they deeply cherish, someone they can't simply just let go of, someone who can always make them smile. You know? "I know that you’re being honest when you wish me well I’ll let you go easy, don’t think that you’re stepping on me" this is kinda hard to explain haha ahm.. maybe as time passes by, Jonghyun's absence is telling them to let go and move on and maybe they're mad with what he did? I DONT KNOW I DONT MEAN IT LIKE THAT! like mad, like?? how do i explain?? like maybe frustrated?? thats the best word i can think of right now riwjkrs they're frustrated but theyre not gonna blame it on him. like the good friends and brothers they are they will let it go easily.. UGH do i make sense? anyway. "I’ve let myself go to the wind and the rain that’s falling cooly But my feelings aren’t for decoration" okay so this is the part theyve told themselves that they really need yo accept what has happened. and maybe "my feelings arent for decoration" means that whatever they are feeling and whatever they are going through shouldnt be joked about in social media since its a serious matter and well ive seen some haters and some "new kpop fans" talk shit about this issue and honestly 😤 it makes me want to slap a bitch

Anyway

next song > UNDERCOVER

so the lyrics:

"I’m paddling my feet as busily underneath the surface with a calm expression on my face, You don’t know"

have u seen swans? how they paddle their legs under the water to move but above the water they seem so calm? like ballerinas, how their arms and body are always so graceful but their legs do all the work and stuff ¿¿?? okay im comparing the lyrics to swans and ballerinas because what if the boys are trying to tell us Jonghyun's situation and maybe also their's and other people who is suffering the same way? We don't always know what happens when we turn around. We don't always know when they're hurting. It's actually pretty easy to lie and fake a smile now a days so we always have to be careful with our loved ones. we dont always know what they're dealing with and one wrong move can cause a bomb to explode.

"Before the curtains rise, I’m always busy but when I’m standing before you I’m Acting cool"

Maybe theyre telling us that behind the scenes, theyre also suffering with personal or family issues. like every other person, celebrities have problems that they deal with too. they also have feelings. maybe on stage theyre smiling and having so much fun but backstage, theyre suffering? they cant breathe, they're overworked, theyre tired. sometimes they're forced to do things. Honestly for me, the kpop industry is so pressuring. you have to be this or that and if you cant you get criticized for it.

"I can’t let you know the things that are secretly happening now, now is not the time. I wait for the right moment, so that when you’ve realized it it’s too late."

Obviously most idols worry about their fans. Theyre worried when theyre fans are worried. its like a family thing we idol and fans have for each other yknow and maybe thats why sometimes they cant always speak up about whats really going on inside their mind. They cant always talk about it to the public bc sometimes people are so rude and so insensitive and leave comments like, "youre not depressed! youre just overthinking" bullshit, barbara. "you just need to hang out more" hMMmM :// ANYWAY thats why they dont really speak up alot. sometimes they cant even go to a psychiatrist privately because the media is always watching and once its on display, BOOm haters here and there talking bs and obviously WE wouldnt realize unless its TOO LATE!

"Like a black shadow is absorbed into the night, the night I dig deep beyond the consciousness, inside of you I’m Undercover"

I dont know how to begin with this.. its like once theyve hit rock bottom and they feel like nothing is gonna get better amd everything is just dark and gloomy. Maybe this is like the moving on part?? like the beginning of moving on. the depressive episode. And at first theyre just trying to hide everything. Just being undercover.

WAIT OMG OKAY SO MAYBE UNDERCOVER BEFORE YOU&I

so they got depressed over what happened and theyre trying to hide from everybody that theyre okay but theyre not and theyre just undercover. in you&i thats when they start reminiscing about jonghyun and talking to him. telling him they miss him and that for him, they're ready to accept and let go.

OKOK SO THE NEXT SONGS ARE WHEN THEY START BEING POSITIVE AGAIN !! YES GO SHINEE !! OUR STRONG KINGS !!!

so i dont really know the sequence i mean its already fucked up in the beginning so lets just go with whatever !!!

So in GOODEVENING!

"The cozy darkness is lingering far away"

so the 'darkness' or those gloomy days and toxic vibes theyve been surrounding themselves has been slwoly disappearing. they're starting to feel a little better again. <3

"At the tip of the sunset that hangs on the buildings I think of you"

i cant explain this one and note: i havent slept and its 6am but im still trying to make this work. but i think fjksjfks ok sunsets means like the day is "ending" and like before the day ends, they remember their sufferings while they were depressed and all those sad times with Jonghyun, like those times of grief.. they remember it all before starting a new day ¿¿ I DONT KNOW im trying my best to explain it. Its like theyre finally accepting what has happened and is ready to start a new happy day

"Spill out the darkness

Open the night

I wanna see you more, right now, oh"

So the sunsets and the night has come and theyve already accepted whats happend but they want to see Jonghyun in a different light. They want to see their bestfriend and brother as someone who was happy and made others happy. They want to remember Jonghyun as someone who made his parents and everyone around him proud.

"The moonlight is rising

I’m going to you before it’s too late

I’m going to get you

Imagining how surprised you’ll be, I’m going to you

Going to you

Going to you

Without a reason, going to you"

okay this part is like giving someone a hug before they leave for their flight. Like even when hes gone hes not alone and shinee is not alone. like theyre always together. theyll always be together. "imagining how surprised you will be" nrkanfks im thinkg on how to write thus part wo sounding sarcastic. knowing what jonghyun has been through, he might have thought that he was and always will be alone... but the members are there to guide him in his travel to heaven with their prayers and theyre all hoping to surprise him ¿¿ AAAA im sorry if this sounds sarcastic or offensive i REALLY didnt mean it to be that way >·<

literally,for me anway, the whole song is about how theyll always be there for each other. even when the other is far away, it will never stop them from what they are doing. and thats why i love Shinee so much💓

In jump im not gonna add a lot of lyrics since im getting lazier. (lmao you can see my effort fading from you&i until here)

in Jump the song is about them trying to put their pieces together again. They've been broken and torn apart but they're ready to pick theirselves up again.

"I shake my head, brush it off and adjust my heart

I solidly protect my space again"

no one can recover quickly so i guess in this part, they're trying to take things slow. not too fast or anything or else they might make a wrong move and fall back to square one.

"Keep on enduring it

Just close my eyes when it feels futile for no reason"

in this part, theyre still not that strong enough so theyre telling themselves that they should just endure the pain or sadness. if it feels impossible, just close your eyes, believe and trust in yourself. theyve made it this far, why should they quit now?

"Higher, rise higher, fly

There’s the ground beneath your feet

When I travel between the two

Oh yes I feel the freedom

I jump on you, jump on you"

when they finally overcome the fear and sadness and EVERYTHING! they feel the weight lift from their shoulders and finally they feel freedom. overjoyed, they celebrate by jumping¿¿ i guess?? lmAO

"I’m not falling

I’m not wilting

It’s just changes

I turn different

And keep going forward"

this is when they realize that: nothing is going bad. everything is going just fine and everything is great. maybe they havent fully recovered yet but all those depression and pain is finally gone and theyre happy. They're different now and they realize they can finally keep moving forward without feeling to fall back down again.

"Why is that hard Why did I hesitate for such a long time Following my heart away From other people’s eyes I free the feet that were bound I let my imagination loose after a long time The wind is blowing Now I open my eyes and breathe in"

the first 2 lines is probably them asking themsleves, why didnt we do this earlier? they finally followed what their heart wanted instead of being trapped in their own mind and they finally can breathe again. they feel free and loose. they dont feel the heavy chains hanging on their shoulder anymore !

Now I can open my eyes and breathe in.

this is honestly a HUGE step for them. and im so proud?? ugh..

last song: All Day All Night

"All the moments I met you were highlight I don’t regret it, it’s just beautiful"

Theyre remembering Jonghyun more with their happy memories. How his existence highlighted mostly everything in their past. Jonghyun was such a big part of their lives and even if he was gone, they were still happy that he was able to be part of their lives and they were thankful to be a part of his.

"I start to see the world differently Yeah it’s all for you Time starts to emit a light Yeah it’s all for you Our very painful tears The joy that fills ourh hearts All for you, all for you, all for you"

Theyre doing all these wonderful things all for Jonghyun and maybe also for us too and for themselves. "Time starts to emit light" its pretty self explanatory. theyre beginning to see things in a positive way again !! So all of this, this is all for Jonghyun.

"Leave it alone, hold me and my painful scars All of it is the control"

theyre telling us to maybe accept it and move on too. To move on with them. We're all in this together and everything is in control.

So YAAS thats my theory or whatever you call it for SHINEEs album. I really do think the message hidden behind this album is deep and amazing and VERY important. I'm glad SHINEE is able to see things in a new light. Let's just keep loving and supporting them, okay??! So that's it.

The Story Of Light.

The End.

[ohoshi]

yess the part where johnny bumped into taeyong was cool!! ty looks so cool while performing gosh 😌 i think ive watched that nct u class performance so many times by now, im still not over it for some reason hahaha

OMG I KNOW XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT!! YES!! honestly im so glad that during nct 2020 a lot of the wayv members got to show their skills and how theyve improved (like xiaojun, hendery, yangyang) and i hope this keeps going (i feel like winwin esp couldve been showcased more? maybe it's hard with soo many members and i dont wanna be *that* fan...but he was the leader of the 90s love unit and had like 2 lines lol)

omg yes shotaro!! you never couldve known he debuted just 2 MONTHS AGO but i agree even in maw u can tell that the boy got moves! i feel so proud of him and hes so cute 😊 i agree, sign me up too for the idols who have such duality!! they were all so good (as expected)!!

WAIT LMAO SO SORRY i just fact checked myself and haikyuu actually has 4 seasons 😂 😅 there was like a 4 year gap between s3 and s4 so i think i felt like it was 2 seasons lmaoo. lately i have been more okay watching ongoing shows bc it gives me something to look forward to every week! but i usually do binge shows, which is why im a little sad that the uncanny counter is ongoing so i am forced to wait 😭 i must say though my binging skills are amazing...my one talent in life 🤣

her private life is another fake relationship kdrama (the main girl character is a fangirl and she runs a blog for her bias ahaha relatable??), and i think crash landing on you has some fake relationship things?? obviously it's not the main focus of the drama but crash landing is iconic u gotta watch, be prepared to cry tho if you get emotional watching these things like me 😭 because this is my first life was also good (i've heard some ppl get frustrated by the main guy character's lack of emotion though but i liked the writing and it's worth giving it a shot if you want!) i love the fake relationship and the enemies to lovers tropes, so if you come across any that are good pls let me know hehe

SVT yes that part in home where they choreographed like a house imagery with their hands was so cool!! the choreo is just so detailed (like i think there was a part that looked like they were opening a door bc it's "home"), i had heard svt is self produced and thats so amazing! theyre so talented and their performances are so good (the ones i've seen so far). i watched their mafia dance video for left and right and it was so FUNNY HAHAHAA they seem so chaotic i love it (also i love the mafia dances in general lol like nct dream did it for we go up). i'm going to try to learn svt's names (which i usually do by just watching crack videos about the group on youtube lmao) so stay tuned 👀 coming from nct, 13 members doesnt even seem like a lot to me anymore hahaha and i think im usually good with names so we'll see! i am also curious to see if i end up stanning dino :)) who are your svt biases??

haha yes i can understand xj/hn/lc without subtitles!! it's interesting because i think all 3 of them are from different places so their canto actually sounds a bit different from each other! but when i hear wayv speaking canto it feels so familiar bc i really only speak cantonese with my family, and it's such a weird but also good feeling and it makes me feel warm :) wayv is the unit that feels like ur close friends (whereas dreamies have best chemistry and i think i like 127’s music most? (but ofc i do actually like all the units songs hahah))

🥺yeah me too! i’m glad wayv members became more relevant thanks to nct 2020! honestly they are soooo good and they deserve all the attention! and winwin 💔 honestly i’m so happy he is in wayv now where he is being appreciated more! where he gets the lines and screentime! he deserves it 😤 of course you’re gonna be *that* fan! we’re all *that* fan 😤 the leader of the unit got 2 lines 😤 smh 😤

omg 4 year gap???? that’s a lot 😳 what for?? i guess the 4 year gap is the reason the show is still airing after all these years lmao when i saw gifs on my dash my reaction was wtf when did haikyuu become one piece what have i missed and then i googled and saw that the anime has 80+ episodes????? ABOUT VOLLEYBALL???? 😳 WILD

ohhh i see you have something to look forward to hmm that makes sense? maybe i should try it, especially since it’s most likely not as consuming as binge watching!! but yeah same, binge watching tv shows is one of my talents 😏

her private life is about a girl who runs a blog about her bias? there’s a whole kdrama about me? are you kidding me rn? never knew someone would be inspired by me or us for that matter? since we’re both just two little human beings running a blog about their biases<3 OMGGGG when am i gonna get the time to watch all of these drama 😭 hopefully really soon, but knowing how busy my college life can be (and esp rn) probs not 🤕 if i ever come across any drama that you haven’t watched already i will most likely recommend it to you!!!!

AHDGAGHFSDGH i love when idols play mafia game of any kind and i think that svt’s left and right is my favorite mafia dance ajfdshgadfshga they’re so chaotic and funny and omg vernon was so good tho?????? 😳 i was impressed bc i could never lie so well ahgdfags yeah it’s not that hard to remember all 13 of them especially because all of them are so different (i mean all of the members in all of the groups are always so different but ajdsgakja for whatever reason svt to me seemed the most uhhh versatile from the others?? like for example woozi is so smol it’s easy to remember him, and then seungkwan is the loud one, and then mingyu and jeonghan are pretty ones, joshua the charming one, sweet one, my biases are the best<3 etc but i mean THIS COULD BE JUST ME AJDGAJSH maybe i’m just too biased bc i love them so much sigh) anyways,,,,,, there’s a lot of ICONIC SVT CONTENT SO  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welcome we have cookies, relax and enjoy yourself, the ride to being 500% whipped for svt begins right here, i recommend to you their pot and hammer game bc i love to watch when idols play it and svt? CHAOTIC AS ALWAYS! 

OK MY SVT BIASES 🥺 ok first of all here’s a digression: usually when i get into a kpop group i have like 3 different positions, 1) love at first sight - which is the person who i’m attracted to right from the second?? like the first person i see and i’m like oh //they// kinda like the way you’re attracted to dino’s dancing and stuff; 2) first bias - which is the person i just pick for whatever reason //ok they’re gonna be my bias//; 3) the actual bias - after watching a lot of content and listening to the music and getting to know the group in general i then choose //THE BIAS// or rather the bias chooses me bc it’s out of my control i just love them whoever they are! and with svt 🥺 all of the 3 were one guy (the only other time this happened to me is w nct dream lmao) 🥺 and i love him so much! one and only: xu minghao! (aka the8) 🥰 he’s one of the lead dancers and 1/2 china line in svt and he can sing! he can rap! and boy can he dance 😭 i just 🥺 love him 🥺 my other svt bias (whom, tbh, i don’t love nearly as much as i love minghao but i still love him very much<3) is wen junhui! (aka jun) 🥰 he is the other lead dancer and 2/2 china line in svt (this is random: but i really love china line in kpop??? like idek why? i mean of course i don’t care about their nationality or whatever but i’ve just noticed that for whatever reason the ones i tend to love and bias are more often than not chinese) and i know i know you asked ‘hey cora who are your svt biases??’ and everything i was supposed to say was ‘hey santa it’s the8 and jun!’ but no i had to be EXTRA bc guess what? well I AM EXTRA!!! bc i got excited i really love them 😭 (esp minghao<3 lately he’s been my ultimate bias so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

OMG I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU RN? you can understand them without titles? lucky!!!!!! but the fact that it feels familiar and it makes you feel warm<3 is so precious<3 so cute!! so wayv feels like home? 🥺 bc you only speak cantonese with your family? this is so 🥺 i’m not crying you’re crying 🥺 teach me something in cantonese?? like?? actually, first tell me is it too different from mandarin??? and then teach me something? how do i say i love you? or hi and bye lmao and thank you? yk the basics! and i mean of course that we all love all units songs i mean!! we’re here for all the mess those 23 boys give us but!! i think i’d be biased and pick nct dream’s music<3 but i love wayv and 127 so much as well 😭

[daddybarnum]

@fuckbarnum and @barnumxcarlyle both tagged me for this thank you wtf!!! i love silly tag games ;;o;;

Rules: Answer 30 questions then tag 20 blogs you would like to know better.

1. Nickname: keena

2. Gender: just like some cryptid gender idk  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Star Sign: taurus

4. Height: 5’’4

5. Time: 10:11pm

6. Birthday: may 4 c: Infinity War day! i’m so excited

7. Favorite Band(s): i have bad taste in music so this isn’t a good question at all to ask me! but i still like panic at the disco i guess

8. Favorite Solo Artist(s): there’s only one correct answer to this question and it’s Carly Rae Jepsen

9. Song Stuck In My Head: Never Enough…. and yeah tbh wait ten minutes and it will be another song from that dam soundtrack because it’s unlawfully catchy and has cursed my squishy slime brain in the worst way. i’ll be trying to sleep or attend to Personal business and can’t get these songs out of my head and it’s been a real inconvenience

10. Last Movie Watched: i took my sisters to see The Greatest Showman this morning, mostly for myself,

11. Last Show I watched: i’ve been half-watching Scrubs for the past four hours lmao... trying to watch it through for the first time? it’s a pretty good show and i ship jd/dr. cox

12. When Did I Create My Blog: i think like two weeks ago?? what a mistake

13. What Do You Post: shitposts and bad art and my attempts to be funny online

14. Last Thing I Googled: i googled lyrics to The Greatest Show. i am a fake fan!

15. Do You Have Any Other Blogs: fun fact about me: i’ve run over 50 tumblr blogs with actual regularly posted content on them so that should tell you all you need to know

16. Do you get asks: HAHAHA no one should interact with me, i have nothing good to say ever.

17. Why Did You Choose Your URL: circus dad hugh jackman

18. Following: 453 blogs :“0 (which is annoying cus i heard that after a certain amount tumblr stops showing every post from every blog on your dash? idk)

19. Followers: none

20. Favourite Colour(s): green and purple!! best color combo

21. Average Hours Of Sleep: my sleep schedule is garbage so as many as i can manage, 

22. Lucky Number: 4 :3

23. Instruments: i am musically illiterate, god i wish i could play an instrument but my brain can’t understand sheet music ehe

24. What Am I Wearing: ;3333 UM the same leggings and polka dot socks and a mint green button up ive been wearing all day and i should probably get pajamas soon maybe

25. How Many Blankets Do I Sleep With: FOUR.. and three pillows.. and two body pillows.. just pile those boys up and nestle in it like a baby chipmunk, that’s called comfort babey

26. Dream Job: i dunno it will never happen but something art related cus that’s the only thing im good at!! i want to be a character designer

27. Dream Trip: i’ve never been outside the u.s. so.. anywheres… i want to go to scotland so badly it’s a gorgeous country

28. Favorite Food: mac and cheese because im 7 years old

29. Nationality: unfortunately american

30. Favourite Song Now: the entire greatest showman soundtrack is a valid answer to this. also Lucid Dreams from the new Owl City album is a good song,,

no tags for me cus i am shy and i’m sorry for putting my awful self all over your dashes ///cries

[penaltbox]

ah ok hi! so im back from work sorry got sidetracked its been a busy day. but i wanted to say i def recommend pinterest to make a board of inspo of more “girlie” outfits you like bc then you can find things they have in common. like i love looks with jeans a basic white tee and then layering from there and i noticed jeans and a white tee came up a lot and were things i had, i just needed to style differently. also found out im a big fan of beige for sweaters and coats so i made sure to add some of those in. also its so hard changing your style bc i went from more tomboy to girly and got questioned all the time

Like why am i changing my look or if im trying to impress someone or blah blah and i just want to say you just have to own it and rock it and do your own thing okay? and those days where you think you look great and love your outfit and then suddenly regret it when you go out? thats not you hating your outfit thats you being scared of others thoughts and that stuff doesnt matter. remember how boss you felt in your room in your mirror, channel that energy. use that energy. thrive off it. fake it til you make it with your confidence ok?

and maybe youre good on all that but i just felt like sharing bc ive been through it. also target 100% had upped their game, their clothing lines are great and they have some great purses and jewlery! i also love target shoes lol sometimes a bit uncomfy until you break them in but overall theyre great. marshalls/tj maxx are a hit or miss for me and take some time but i find sweaters there a lot! my number one for basics (especially bc i like that cleaner classic look) is h&m! and they have trendy stuff too its a good mix and you can find things esp basics for so cheap! express is another place i love esp when i need to be a little fancier but its pricey so i make sure to go when theres sales or ill invest if i truly love a piece. I have a jumpsuit from there that i absolutely love and other bits and bops. plus i dont feel overwhelmed in there.

id also recommend any local boutiques/shops you might have in your closest city bc sometimes those can be pricey too but its so fun to find that one unique piece you know? i tend to window shop those more than i buy but i do have a few pieces that always get compliments bc theyre not things ppl have usually seen you know? oh boutiques like that are also good for accessories! hope this helps in any way lol im always down to talk style and give advice and stuff lol

First of all, you’re a hero for all this. Thank you so much!! I always appreciate advice & encouragement and this means a lot to me 🤍

I’ve been building my Pinterest board up and noticing a lot of similar outfits! I was such a tomboy growing up so it’s been a huge adjustment! Luckily people have been really supportive though which is surprising. I get more “about time” comments than “why are you doing this?” ones lol. I fully plan to fake it til I make it, so I’m glad you said that 😂

Target & the TJ’s sound like good spots to check for sure. H&M is one of my favorites so far too! I love clean cut items that are classy and can be used multiple ways. There’s gotta be boutiques somewhere around here lol. I just have to find them.

Again, thank you so so much for taking the time with all this!! I feel like my friends get annoyed because I never know how to shop for myself and always ask for their help 🙈 I hope you have the best day!!