#sorry if i don’t post tonight!
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Sorry!! Don’t think I’ll post tonight! I’ll try tho!! I had my first day of college 🫣
Also got to try out a new job so I may be late posting idk! Sorry if I don’t I may be ABSOLUTELY exhausted! I’ll try my best.
Anyways, as always, have a good day/night!! 🫶
#my post#rafe#rafe x reader#cod x reader#eddie diaz x y/n#evan buckley x eddie diaz x reader#evan buck buckley#fight club x y/n#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x kook!reader#first day of college#new job#sorry if I don’t post tonight!#have a good day#have a good night!
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what, like it’s hard?, pt. one
“it’s just that… if i want to win a seat in congress by the time i’m thirty, i need to find someone who’s serious about my career. not some little elementary school teacher that cares more about his students than what he’s wearing on my campaign stops,” tommy tells steve, as they’re sitting in quite possibly the fanciest restaurant steve’s ever step foot in. the menu hadn’t even included any prices.
“but… i’m seriously in love with you.” steve feels like his whole world is falling apart. just last week he’d been so sure that tommy was getting ready to propose. he’d introduced steve to his family—they’d spent a week out on martha’s vineyard for a family reunion at which steve had met tommy’s great-grandmother, hands laden with rings as she’d winked when tommy had asked for a private conversation. steve had been so sure that conversation was about the family ring.
“and i love you too, baby, but look. you don’t want to have to leave your students for half the year to come on the campaign trail with me, do you?” tommy asks, not even really looking at steve. he continues to just eat his stupid dinner as if he’s not ripping steve’s heart out at this very moment.
and steve can’t help but think how silly this all is, because it’s not like tommy’s actually running for anything right now. steve doesn’t even teach yet, beyond the two days a week he does his student teaching. they’re only 22, they haven’t even graduated northwestern with their bachelors degrees! but tommy’s saying these things as if they’re all real, right now.
“and i’m off to harvard next fall. it’s not like we’ll stay together while i’m there and you’re still here, right?”
and the thing is, steve had actually thought he’d be going with tommy to boston. they’re both set to graduate in the spring, steve with his degree in education and tommy with a dual major in pre-law and political science. they hadn’t really ever talked about it, but they’d been together since the beginning of their sophomore year. so yes, steve had thought they’d still be together when tommy started at harvard law.
but now steve’s starting to feel extra stupid.
“so… what? you’re breaking up with me?” steve starts to feel his chest tightening, like he might cry. he can’t believe that two hours ago he thought he’d been getting ready for a proposal.
“don’t think of it as a breakup, stevie… think of it as a conscious uncoupling. we’re just moving in two different directions. i’ll be at harvard law next semester and you’ll be…” tommy gives him a look of slight disdain—steve has never seen tommy look at him like that. waitstaff? sure. his driver? absolutely. but it’s never been directed at steve before. “well, you’ll be teaching snot-nosed six year olds. we’re on different paths.”
and that’s what truly makes steve’s blood boil. his passion for teaching and education is one of his greatest qualities and he’d thought that had been part of the reason tommy loved him. he didn’t realize that tommy loved him in spite of that. he’s not gonna let some asshole like tommy montgomery hagan iii tell him he’s no good.
so he doesn’t respond. he just takes the linen napkin off his lap and throws it on his half-eaten steak dinner and marches out of the restaurant.
tommy doesn’t even follow him out.
~*~
“oh steve… i’m sorry,” robin says to him about an hour later while steve lays his head in her lap on their dingy couch.
“it’s not even that he broke up with me,” he explains through tears. “it’s that he basically said i was worthless. like i couldn’t do anything better than teaching. as if teaching isn’t even an admirable profession! where would he be without his teachers, huh? isn’t this all about going to stupid harvard? what does he think the professors there actually do? knit?”
“is this a bad time to tell you that i always kind of hated him?” robin says, maybe trying to get him to laugh. but it kind of surprises steve. he sits up, knocking her hands from where they’ve been carding through his hair in the process.
“you did?! no, you didn’t.” he searches robin’s face for a moment and then sighs. “why didn’t you say anything? you could’ve saved me a whole lot of wasted time.”
“babe, you were so gooey-eyed for that guy, nothing i said was gonna change that. a crowbar couldn’t have pried you away from him. but you have to know he was an asshole.” when steve stares at her blankly, she huffs. “steve, he used to offer to cover the whole tab when we went out. how often did he ever actually pay, even for his own drinks? he made poor jonathan cry the last time we were all here for game night, just because jonathan asked for clarification on the rules for pictionary.” steve is still staring at her. “he tried to stiff argyle by offering him a flight on his dad’s private jet instead of paying for his weed and we all know he doesn’t even have access to the jet. dude was cheap as fuck and not even nice about it.”
steve thinks about it. it was kind of true. tommy was a horrible tipper—steve usually laid down a couple of twenties when they went to dinner together when tommy wasn’t looking. he can remember more than a few times where the guy had sent their food back even though it had looked perfectly wonderful to steve. so… okay, maybe robin had a point.
steve tells her as much, then adds, “but he was always nice to me.”
robin snorts. “are you kidding? he’s stood you up so many times i can’t even remember all of them. remember that time he said his first impression of you was that you weren’t as hot as your pictures? who says that to the person they’re dating?”
steve groans and lays his head back down in her lap.
“okay, so maybe you have a point about that too. but i was gonna marry him, rob. what do i do now?” he knows he’s whining, but he feels just a little bit entitled to it right now.
“i don’t know, babe. get over it, i guess. welcome to the world of us singles. it sucks out here.” steve can hear the fondness in robin’s voice as she says it, but still. it does sting just a little.
they sit there in silence for a while, with robin running her hands through his hair again. it’s so soothing that he almost jumps out of his skin when she speaks again.
“hey, you know what would be super funny?” she’s laughing a little as she says it.
“what?” steve had been dozing just a little and his voice sounds muffled by fatigue.
“if you got into harvard and just showed up on the first day. imagine the look on his face.”
steve laughs at how ridiculous that sounds. like he could get into harvard. plus, he’s got teaching to think about. he doesn’t have a place yet, but he knows he’ll get one soon.
but as he sits there with robin’s hands stroking through his hair, he begins to daydream about how shocked tommy would be. about how he’d have no choice but to eat his words when steve proves himself by getting into one of the most competitive programs in the country. about how good it would feel to prove the bastard wrong.
“robin?” she hums in response. “you’re a goddamn genius.”
~*~
“dingus, are you sure you want to do this?”
the spring semester starts in three days. it’s their last semester at northwestern and there’s nothing but great big darkness on the horizon of steve’s future. he hasn’t slept in two days, busy studying, thick workbooks piled around around him at the kitchen table. he knows what he must look like, over-caffeinated with bruises under his eyes.
“i’m sure.” steve has his lsat exam in one week. “i have to take the exam this week. apps are due by march first.”
“no, steve, i don’t mean taking the test. i mean applying at all. it’s clearly more stress than it’s worth. do you even want to go to law school?” robin sounds concerned and normally steve would think it’s very sweet, but currently it does nothing but irritate him.
“i could,” he responds grumpily.
robin sighs. “i just mean… is this worth it?”
steve looks up then and sees her biting her lip, clearly worried about him. he puts his pencil down and stops the timer on his phone, giving her his full attention.
“this isn’t just about tommy.” robin gives him a skeptical look and it’s his turn to sigh. “it’s really not. maybe it started out that way, maybe it was just a stupid joke to get revenge on the asshole, but now it’s more than that. it’s proving that i can do something unexpected of me.” he swallows. “no one even believed i would get into college. i was just some stupid jock in high school who’d never amount to anything. and then i got in to northwestern and i was so shocked and happy. but i found out that my dad had actually pulled a bunch of strings. so i hadn’t gotten in on my own merits. he didn’t think i could. but now…” he runs a hand through his hair nervously. he’s never said any of this out loud before. “he’s not around now. there’s no one to help me. no safety net. if i can do this, it’ll prove something to me. something that maybe i don’t really believe yet.”
he expects robin to say something about external validation being a corrupting force and identity built on academic achievement being solely a losing game, but she doesn’t. instead, she sits down across the table from him and picks up a workbook.
“okay,” she says. “what do we have to do?”
~*~
“mail here?” steve calls out when he hears the front door close behind robin.
there’s a moment that feels like a pause. “yeah, it’s here.”
steve practically sprints from his bedroom to his living room. robin holds a single white envelope in her hand. steve all but snatches it from her.
his fingers move to rip it open, but then he hesitates. he thrusts it back towards robin. “i can’t,” he tells her. “you do it.”
her eyebrows shoot up. “you’re sure?” steve nods. he watches her rip the envelope open, bouncing on his feet. she scans the page and then she’s smiling.
steve grabs the paper from her. “oh my god?!” he yells. “oh my god!”
robin practically jumps into his arms. “179, baby! harvard law here we come.”
~*~
even after such a successful run at the lsats, there’s still the little matter of actually getting in to the school. steve’s only experience with the academic application process was with undergrad and it appears that applying for anything beyond a bachelors degree is an entirely different ball game. he’s so out of his depth that he’s forced to turn to grad school message boards for advice and tips of how to get in. it seems like everyone else is applying to a hundred different schools while steve’s only applying to one. he learns this is a terrible strategy for planning one’s future, but that doesn’t really matter to steve. for him, it’s harvard or nothing.
there are so many different parts of the application that it makes steve’s head spin. there’s the statement of purpose and the personal statement—the difference between those two requires robin’s careful and slow explanation about three separate times. then there’s the writing sample and the application and the recommendations and the transcripts and and and
but with robin’s help, steve completes each component and successfully sends his materials by the day of the deadline.
steve’s never been a patient person. no one on earth would accuse him of that, so even he can tell that he’s getting on robin’s nerves every day as he practically pounces on her when she returns from collecting the mail.
and then one day, finally, at the end of april, she comes through the front door and clutched in her hand is a big, thick white envelope emblazoned with the words ‘harvard law’ in bold, beautiful crimson red.
~*~
“last chance to back out,” robin says smiling as she swings herself up into the passengers seat of their rented u-haul.
“nah.” steve returns her smile as he slides his sunglasses from his hair onto his face. “let’s get out of this dump.”
and with that, they leave their first apartment behind, headed to the coast.
[wanted to finish this completely before posting but my benadryls kicking in and i have no self control. eventual steddie, promise! no tag list for this one, sorry!! it’s giving me anxiety on the other one lol absolutely not edited, if u see a typo no u don’t. i wrote this on my phone in a feverish frenzy. also, i originally invented someone for the role of warner but then i was like ‘IDIOT!!!!! why would u not choose tommy?????’ so if there’s a name in here that shouldn’t be, no there isn’t.]
#the not as hot as ur pictures thing is a real thing my ex said to me after we’d been together for like six months lol called me ugly 😭#legally blonde au#steddie#steddie fic#steddie legally blonde au#this will EVENTUALLY be steddie if i write more lol#robin buckley#steve harrington#platonic stobin#steddie fanfic#steddie ficlet#i’m setting it up!!!!!#eddie will be a bartender not a law guy sorry!!!! lawyer!eddie just don’t feel right to me#steddie fanfiction#steddie blurb#guess what i watched tonight#well i also watched mean girls lol#here have this half finished thing#i wanted to finish it before posting but
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I don’t think we talk enough about how being love bombed can like really fuck you up??? Like yeah is it easy to identify from an outside perspective? Absolutely. But being in it and having someone devote that much time and attention to you (even if it is manipulative in nature) to then having it end abruptly when they’ve gotten what they wanted out of you… 🫠
#mine#text post#it’s so devious and sinister the way people can just do this to people#and every time I come out of it#I just feel so stupid and like of course that’s what was happening#why wouldn’t that be what was happening???#and not only does it feel super shitty to feel like you were being used#and also that like everything they said was just a ploy to get something from you#but like the withdrawal of attention is my least favorite part#because it feels nice to be pursued and flirted with and called pretty#and to have someone ask about your day#etc etc#but then when it disappears#you just feel awful#at least I do#and don’t even get me started on how it becomes so hard to believe people after that#to believe anything anyone says#to see yourself as desirable outside of manipulation and being used#just shitty shitty shitty#ruminating on things I shouldn’t#but was thinking about this tonight#having fallen prey to it so many times#sorry for the rant#I’m done now
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wip
#sanders sides#logic sanders#logan sanders#my art#art#virgil sanders#ts virgil#analogical#this is the fastest I’ve ever drawn smth ngl#anyways sorry I haven’t been posting I just haven’t been making anything I’m particularly proud of#but uhhhh here’s some lollipop chainsaw au stuff#I was gonna finish the sketch tonight but chronic pain is a bitch so it’s not happening#I started using a new posing method and let’s just say I’m back babyyy#plus I’m getting a tour box lite soon as a first day of school present#ik school started like two weeks ago but it’s complicated for me#anyways#don’t you just love being undiagnosed and disabled??
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the gang turns on murph part 17, colorized
#the number is a joke bc it’s happened a lot but i don’t know how often#also i’m watching on my phone tonight so my screenshots are shitty and the post format is shitty. im sorry#neverafter#dimension 20#neverafter spoilers#brian murphy
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obviously this is not sustainable but there is some feeling so blissful when you push through exhaustion and somehow get a second wind that should be impossible. and i am sure one day this luck will run out but for now i think some kind of endorphin magic is happening and i am about to label so many 50 mL tubes and fill them with my potions :)
#have worked on many of my recent days off. that’s the context here#don’t do that#rchl#also sorry to the web weave post that i forgot about. maybe after i sleep for 12 hours tonight
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hey moots? I don’t say this enough, but I am genuinely so grateful for each and every interaction we have. Even if it’s just, like, a reblog or a like, it makes me smile because hey, that’s my mutual! Look at them go! Look at that little amazing guy that I am so lucky to know!
anyways. All of you have made my life so much better. Love you guys /p <33333
#Nothings happening don’t worry I just listened to lights are on#And I went huh. I love my moots.#And hey. I should say that myself instead of reblogging posts saying I love them.#Because you all mean sm to me. And I want to express that#Sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable I’m in a very sentimental mood tonight#And this includes moots I know irl!!!#I love you guys too!!!!#You’re so so great <333
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trying to be kind to my brain but it’s really really hard bc i hate it. soooo much at the moment
#it’s actually ruining my life um i had a really nice evening#and now i am unable to stop crying i’m just so fucking tired of feeling like this#and of being so insecure and anxious and making everything into a massive deal and just#being altogether way too much. like i don’t know what to do i figured out all this anxiety and ocd stuff on#youtube when i was fifteen and i’ve never really properly talked to anyone about it (esp the ocd) i’m just#hahaha so tired of it ruining my relationships and my mood and my life in general just ughh idk sorry guys love you all xx#i’m scared of it driving people away i’m so scared of annoying people and then just losing them. ughh anyway feeling stupid tonight#sorry about making this post i just sometimes like. need somewhere i can talk about this. i’m sorry love you guys <3333
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the domestic au side of the spn fandom is nice and all but I could never be a part of it because my idea of a domestic au is basically just malcolm in the middle
#and the nuclear family repackaging and the ableism But we are strictly on silly business tonight#cal.txt#spn#supernatural#domestic au#domestic destiel#spn au#malcolm in the middle#sorry no I don’t think jack would want the childhood he intentionally chose not to go through#he should be setting shit on fire to impress the town kids or something#middlenatural you are so real to me#draft posting#not sure why I never posted this I thought. I did …..
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Guess who has 75 cents to her name… 🫠
#vent post#do not reblog#this shouldn’t keep happening#I shouldn’t have to struggle to survive day to day#no one should#and yet#here I am#unsure about how I’m going to get home from work tonight#don’t get me started about my coworkers#awful#everything is awful#I’m sorry to be so negative but I’m just upset about life right now#hopefully you all are feeling better than me right now
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No posts tonight due to I am working but I’ll get back to you all Sunday! Love yall and take care! 🫶
#no posts till tomorrow#sorry if i don’t post tonight!#dealer!rafe#dealer!rafe reqs are open#frat!rafe#frat!rafe reqs open#frat rafe#college reqs open
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oop i bought bramble on my switch and now i’m gonna stay up while it downloads and i play it who wanna keep me company 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
#spamming y’all w face posts tonight lmao#sorry y’all#me#face#hi#selfie#sup#talk to me and see if i talk back#i try to reply to everyone but then again there’s some creeps i won’t reply to#don’t be a creep and i’ll probably reply#i’m very high so please don’t expect much of me i am wanting to be social rn tho#asks#anons#:3#i really wanted this game for a while now so i treated myself#oops#imma post one more selfie too#i’m sorry for the face spam#pls talk to me tho#i’m excited for this game tho!#i gotta be up early for a walk w my dog and i’m not excited bc i have 3 walks and a workout planned for tomorrow#blah#how many tags can i fit#let’s see#has anyone else played this game that follows me like lemme know if i just wasted $27#lol
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ngl the apartment is looking SOOOO cute .
#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖#i would post a picture but 1. it’s not done and 2. don’t wanna doxx myself#<- in case for whatever reason one of my irls is on selfship tumblr BUT I KNOW THATS A LONG SHOT LMFAO 😭#better safe than sorry either way whateverrr. but it looks adorbs#blorbo shelf happening tonight i am so excited
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i bring a sort of Start A New Wip vibe to the workplace that my Hasn’t Finished My Other Wips don’t really like
#for once not talking bout art ive got 4 fics collecting dust in my google docs rn but that will not stop me from starting another!#roommates krbk 31k DEAD. s4 dbhwks 5k DEAD. s4 tgchk 2k DEAD. hunger games dbhwks 22k DEAD#actually sorry i have more than that. i will get to them eventually tho#maybe…#tbh the roommates one has 5 chapters done im just annoying and only like posting when the fic is finished so ppl don’t have to wait#ummmm ok bye let’s see how much i can get done tonight
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turns out trying to write fanfic while there are literal crimes against humanity occurring in the world and there’s a cost of living crisis and the entire system in your country is falling apart and anytime you log on there’s some new pointless discourse is uh. difficult!
#tl;dr if I don’t get this thing posted tonight I’m sorry#I’m exhausted right now and I am going to curl up with my cats for a few hours#the escapism is not uhmmmnn escapisming#priv
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#anaheim ducks#max jones#jamie drysdale#nerds 😔#taylor hall ass broken heart emoji#sorry for accidentally becoming a ducks blog overnight#but in my defense they’ve been my western conference team since the danton days#even if i don’t post about them a ton#anyway#regularly scheduled bruins content should be back tonight
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