#sorry i keep talking about this everyone is annoying me so its in my brain

[jaysng]

🫐 - jake! maybe about reader having some hardships during her pregnancy but baby daddy jake would be ready to do anything for her comfort !!

rejecting his kisses | sjy

pairing: husband!jake x wife!reader

genre: fluff bro what else i write 😭😭

synopsis: reader is growing sensitive day by day to touches and snaps at jake, jake being a mature husband handles the situation well.

everything felt so much more overwhelming, jake kept a family dinner and everyone was over, his members and his family. 

“how are my babies doing?” jake said as he nuzzled his nose in your neck as you moved back in annoyance. 

oh he noticed it but shrugged it off, maybe it was just a silly reaction right?

the sound of everyone talking at the same time in their own conversation rings around in your ears making it hard for you to keep up with everything jake had his hands on you the whole day, hugging you from behind, talking to his friends and family with a hand on your bump, rubbing your nose agaisnt his, kissing your cheeks, lips and forehead. yeah sounds cute but not when you’re feeling everything a little too much. 

what is going on. 

it was so bad that you had to shut your room door so loud and settle on the bed, 

there you were, pregnant and finally on your thrid trimester with your annoying husband being extra touchy anywhere he could find you at.

rubbing your temples you sat on the bed, grabbed the water from the beside table and starting chugging it down. 

meanwhile, jake who already spotted your absensce in the living room came in “bub?” you heard his voice and your brain gave a reaction not again. 

he walks in as you don’t even dare to look at him in the eye, your eyes closed as you take deep breath. 

“did i do something” he leans over to your face while staring deep “no..” u say as he hums in question he sits beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder “are you oka-“ you cut him off,

“no- just no- please okay? please just get your hands off of me please jake. stay away from me i am not feeling all your touches just leave me the fuck alone.” you say raising your voice. 

the next thing you see is tears in jake’s eyes as he looks away from you trying to hold them in. 

“i am sorry.” 

a moment of complete silence goes by as you rest your head on the headboard.

you notice him avoiding your looks and turning to the other side, hesitant to ask you if you need anything again.

“did i do something wrong?” he asks out of curiosity “i won’t touch you if—“

“no i dont know.. i am sorry i dont feel like getting touched i dont know.. i don’t know why i am being like this i don’t know” as you’re saying he turns around and comes closer to you.

attentively listening as he brings a hand to tug your hair strand back.

“hey no no it’s fine, its completely fine yeah, this is super normal for pregnant women to feel..” he says as tears start spilling from your eyes because of how understanding he is. 

jake has always put your perspective before his, always understanding everything you did, always finding a reason for your actions and letting you express yourself, god you think what did you do to deserve him. 

“b-but jake” you say as he holds your face in his hands and squishes your cheeks trying to calm you down.

“at this stage you’ve grown more sensitive. to touches to words to noises to everything” he says bringing his hands back to himself, “isn’t it?” 

you nod in agreement as he adds “so don’t ever blame yourself about all this okay? i love you just how it is. nothing will ever change that” 

you look at him and take his hand and place it on your belly, he makes sure to keep it exactly where you kept and not rub it because of muscle memory 

he pauses and lets out a little laugh as he feels the baby kicking where his arm is placed “just try not to be as aggressive as you were okay?” you nod once again as he kisses your cheeks wiping your tears off his lips. 

“baby doesn’t like hearing mum and dad argue does it?” he says as he feels another kick to his palm as you both laugh out of surprise. 

it makes you giggle, mood swings are crazy.

[ghouldump]

I have been thinking about young doctor reader whos first reaction to seeing her one night stand admit he his a vampire is to ask if she can study him and do a couple of tests on him

I imagine this to be a lestat vibe yk? He would love the attention and strange admiration of his new weird beloved, while trying to keep her eyes always on him

"so are there others like you?"

"no by beloved, i am plenty enough to please"

Or maybe armand because he wants to be somebodys person in desperate way and i feel like he would manipulate her into staying in his life and be his eternal companion

Sorry if this was weird 😅

002

i couldn’t decide 😂 this is super short and straight to the point

LESTAT DE LIONCOURT

Lestat would take advantage of the opportunity BUT not nearly as extreme as Armand and he has to be really into you - which, luckily he was. You had just moved back home to New Orleans, after living in Texas for a few years, since finishing your residency.

As soon as your relatives and old friends hear about you being back in the lively city, you are invited out instantly. At one of the many parties, he noticed you, dancing with a few friends, you caught everyone’s attention with how festive you were.

He stared from afar and one of your multiple friends told you that he was looking. Encouraging you to approach him, he could hear their annoying giggling as you walked up. However, he also noticed how more beautiful you were as you approached.

“It isn't polite to stare and not say hello, you know,” you told him, as he smirked.

“I was simply enjoying the view”

“Y/n,” you held out your hand.

“Lestat,” he said, kissing your knuckles, your friends gasped loudly, making you look back at them.

“Sorry about them,” you laughed.

“They are surprised that I am talking to you,” he said, hearing their thoughts.

“How do you- my god, your eyes, are these your natural color?” you asked, leaning closer, looking closer.

“Yes”

“I’ve never seen a color so pretty, natural, only to a few patients after-

“After what?”

“They've died,” you said.

“Interesting”

“Allow me to look further into this Lestat, I’d love to understand this better,” you told him, giving him your card.

“Doctor. Y/n, how about we leave here and you can tell me a little more,” he smirked, interlocking your arms, and leading you away from the party.

Ending up in his bed was the last thing you expected to happen. Your fingers ran through his blonde wavy hair, as his hands pressed against your back, holding you in his lap. Blinded by the euphoric pleasure, you didn't even notice the fangs, wincing as he drank your blood.

It wasn't until you were dressing, that you came to your senses, rushing to leave his townhouse. You planned to avoid him, you didn't understand him, and you figured it was best that you didn't dig. However, he plagued your mind, entering every thought, and you could hardly focus during your first day of work.

As your coworker stopped in front of the house, you thanked him for dropping you off and climbing out. You still hadn't bought a car and there was a good distance between your home and the clinic. Watching him drive away, you turned to the steps, but stopped, seeing Lestat.

“How was your work?” he asked, tilting his head.

“How did you find my house?”

“I asked where the pretty doctor stayed and they led me here, did you not want to see me?” he asked, childishly pouting.

“You bit me,” you exclaimed lowly, watching as he began to grin, devilishly.

“And you tasted exquisite, a rarity, beauty, brains, and sweet blood,” he praised, approaching you.

“Please leave”

“Come inside, we have much to talk about, doctor,” he clapped, walking to the door. Your eyes widened as it opened on its own.

Hesitantly, you followed him into the living room, where he began with small talk before he dropped the information, he's a vampire, willing to become your little experiment if he was allowed to feed on you, whenever he'd like.

He liked you, you weren't a nuisance, much like other humans, which is why he preferred the idea of you giving up your blood willingly, still being able to keep your mortality.

You questioned his motives, why did he want to keep you alive, if he thought your blood was good? What did he gain from this? Why didn't he kill you? What was vampirism? Being met with silence, you begrudgingly accepted the transaction.

As your subject, his dramatic theatrics only increased. He was falling out at every prick, claiming it was better for him to drink, your blood from your neck, instead of an IV. It brought him great joy to have so much attention form you.

He would answer any questions seriously, before patting his lap. It was snack time, and he preferred you to sit there instead of next to him. Although, you could sense that he was withholding.

I mean, according to Lestat, he was the only vampire, one in a billion. There were no others, nor was there a need to search. He was all you could need, powerful, rich, and handsome. He was perfect.

For nearly a year, you ran all kinds of tests on him, comparing human studies to his DNA. Then you began to pull away. You were growing closer with him, staying at his house, or he at yours. Feelings were beginning to surface, after months of consistent intimacy.

Nonetheless, you knew better than to think you would have something together. He didn't think the highest of mortals, so what made you different? Little did you know, you couldn't be more wrong.

After seven months of only being with Lestat as his doctor, but also sexually, you decided to give another man a chance. Sleeping with a mutual friend, you thought it was fun until you woke up in the middle of the night, and were surprised to see a deranged Lestat, holding the man as a hostage. Only he was worthy to be subjected under you, to be touched and held by you.

You were near perfection, he could only imagine if you became a vampire. He was your greatest experiment, able to bestow the dark gift unto you. Yet here you were, entertaining other men

You were confused for a moment, realizing it was jealousy, causing him to act so crazed. Calling him out, he confessed his feelings, his anger and disgust towards this man. You had proven yourself to be worthy of the best and he was the best, waiting for you.

Your heart fluttered at his words, genuinely touched when he offered to share the dark gift with you. Nodding, you exhaled as he whisked you into his arms, sinking his fangs into you. Draining you, before feeding you his blood.

The man continued to squirm, his hands and mouth covered and tied, watching the scene in fear. Regurgitating and groaning, you held your stomach, clinging to Lestat in pain, before you stopped.

Standing upright, you faced Lestat, the man’s heart was pounding as your maker pointed to him. Your first meal. Pouncing on the man, Lestat couldn’t be more satisfied, with you as his fledgling, he could now be your patient for the rest of eternity.

ARMAND THE VAMPIRE

Armand was always watching, always one step ahead, and so, when he caught on to your curiosity, his scheme began. While you were a practicing physician, you were constantly looking for your next experiment. Someone you could poke and prod to further your research.

It was your secret, a taboo, you'd been undergoing all sorts of analysis since before you'd gotten your degree. Moving to Paris, you initially put your focus into your residency, until the vampire theater was brought up. Everyone was raving about the place and you had to see it yourself.

Watching the play, you sat on the edge of your seat in disbelief. The murdering of the girl felt too real, her open wounds obviously infected. Then her screams, those screams, the sound of pure agony and fear, you were quite familiar with it.

When the play ended, the actors came back, along with the director, all of them bowing. Staring at the crew, you were inquisitive towards all of them. Strange eyes, ghostly skin, glass-like, sharp nails. If it wasn't for the apparent powdered makeup, you would assume they were dead.

Despite your suspicion, you kept returning out of curiosity. Your eyes could hardly focus on the play ahead, drifting off to the director. It wasn't until one night, that his eyes finally shifted to your own. Nodding slightly at you, you smiled, before turning your attention back to the play.

Your concentration changed from everyone to him overnight. You kept visiting, a small notebook in hand, writing brief notes about his appearance. Nothing about him seemed natural, and that drew you in more.

"I'd prefer if you spoke to me, instead of trying to follow me and make notes about me," he said, smirking as your heart skipped a beat.

"My apologies, it's a bad habit of mine," you shook your head, shoving the notepad into your pocket.

"You're a doctor?" he asked.

"How did you know?"

"You wrote out a few side notes, about wounds and how they should be treated"

"Yes, I mean, I'm still in my residency, but I am a doctor,” you said.

"And how are you liking Paris?" he asked, as he sat next to you.

"It's fine, I am into the darker aspects of life and death, and I was over the moon, finding a vampire theatre, where everything feels authentic. Then, I saw the director, and I've been to nearly every show since," you confessed, as he stared over at you.

It didn't take much longer for him to pull you into the basement, where you partook in the sinful acts.

Pressed against the cold railing, you kept trying to keep quiet, while his face was against your shoulder, taking in your scent.

You begin to regularly meet up with him and it isn't until one night you are out with a male colleague that you find out his identity. He is with his coven members, fuming in jealousy as he watches you laugh with the man. The conversation was nothing but platonic, but the thought of you in the same space as another man made him physically sick.

He naturally, kills the poor guy and you catch him, screaming as he drops the body, it catches on fire, and he turns to face you, blood dripping from his mouth. You run to try to evade him, but he quickly corners you.

He is too jealous, focused on why you were out with another man, to even notice you were confused and afraid.

Realizing you were reeking in fear, he apologized profusely, begging for forgiveness. He knew you only accepted because you were scared he would kill you next, but he would never, at least not unwillingly.

He takes you home where he confesses that he is a vampire and you have to swear to never tell a soul because it goes against the vampire laws. You want distance from him, but he is consistent, bringing gifts, asking for forgiveness daily, trying to prove that he would never harm you.

Finally, you believe him and he becomes your subject. He is the most willing, you'd ever had, allowing as many needles as you want, as long as it means you are touching his skin. He does manipulate you to drop out of your residency and focus on studying him. He says researching vampirism is a one-in-a-million chance, and he is the perfect experiment.

You are so caught up in your research, that you don't even realize that you are straying further and further away from the possibility of being saved. He loves you, he needs you, just as much as you need him, if not more. The final step to his manipulation tactics, turning you.

He could never allow you to age too much and become old, weathering away. You were his lifeline, he needed you as badly as he needed blood, and after months or even years of extreme brainwashing and manipulation, he turned you and made you his companion and fledgling.

[russilton]

https://www.tumblr.com/russilton/747045752953602048

sorry english is not my first language but what does it mean? why is everyone talking about this so much

Oh boy anon, you’ve made me have to break out the actual lyrics to make sure I’m not misremembering for you, that’s how seriously I’m taking it

Lewis, George, and the Hips don’t Lie video:

So, a couple things to explain here, first i’ll just recount what’s said to make sure it’s clear, then what it means

———

Apparently it all begins when a fan yells “shakira!” At them

Lewis, while laughing: no no no, I don’t sing that one, it doesn’t suit me.

Lewis, pointing at George: it would suit him! He would say his hips don’t lie

George, immeditaly changing the subject: Before the races, I always hear Lewis singing in the room next door, and I don’t know if he’s trying to soothe me or distract me— I don’t know what.

Lewis grins and keeps nodding.

———

Now what Lewis is talking about is the Shakira song, “Hips don’t lie”. It’s arguably her most famous song, and pretty well know. It’s also well known for being… not subtle. The point of the song is the singer, in that case shakira, is singing to a man to watch the way her body moves and her body language in order to know that she’s interested in him.

To put it bluntly-its a song about fucking, plain and simple, and if you don’t believe me, just see the lyrics

As you can tell, even if it’s heavy on the metaphor, it’s very blatantly a song about lust and desiring after one another, along with the encouraging of the man she’s singing to ace on his feelings because she’s noticed and likes it

Finally; why are we all talking about it so much?

Well, to be honest anon, because it’s so flirty and forward it’s sort of shocking. Please remember we’re all just here having fun and engaging in a bit of hyper bole, if they look at each other too long our little enthusiastic group is yelling that they’re sluts who should get a room— creative liberties are being taken and nobody is actually implying these two real men are sleeping together.

That contentment with so little means we are utterly unprepared for such a blatant comment with clear innuendo. This is a joke I’ve made at my actual girlfriend in some form, with the comedy behind it being I know what her hips do and that’s why it suits her.

We’re all of talking about it both because of that and it’s so out of pocket! Nobody brings it up, George doesn’t lead it in, Lewis just hears someone yell shakira and his brain goes shakira-> hips don’t lie-> George Russell. And then he says it, essentially implying he has good knowledge of just how George uses his hips to seduce, so the song fits.

That is a line right out of a fanfic we’d write, that’s why we’re all so blown away!

On top of that already wild moment was the fact George just… doesn’t react. No shock or anything, just dives right into telling everyone Lewis sings every race. He used to joke Lewis was trying to keep him awake or annoy him- but he’s now changed his language to say “soothe me or distract me” which both really imply that George actually enjoys it quite a bit.

So yeah! Those are some very charged implications they’re making, and call me a bit coin transaction because I’m eating that charge UP

[winterrhayle]

rank all of the 6 lunar chronicles books! i've asked a few of my friends irl this and ive seen very differing opinions so im curious (and ive seen how much you like ranking so..😂)

LOLLLL yeah ranking is my favourite thing ever ever ever ever ever ever its so fun okay (this is kinda long sorry hahaha) :

winter - this probably isnt a shocker, bc well ^^^ my url😭 literally what does this book NOT have. its 800+ pages, it contains so many perspectives, every single ship, every character dynamic is fully formed, the plot is insane and weaves together so well, the drama, the luna visuals, JACINTER, MISS WINTER HAYLE BLACKBURN.... like......... name a better book.... exactly. winter > everything. this is my go to book to reread and i think that its actually etched into the grooves of my brain. i have 2 copies of this book and they are my prized possessions

fairest - okay this ranking might be controversial, and i hate levana as much as everyone else does(just a disclaimer lol). but I LOVEEEE a character study, specially when said character is a villain. i read fairest after i'd completed all of the main 4 books and it just added so many more layers to the lunar characters (winter, levana, jacin etc), and also introduces us to evret, who is talked about in the main series but as we know he dies before the events of tlc :( but i loved his character and i found this book so interesting, also as a winter girl it was cool to see her parents, and her as a baby / toddler,, and also the og trio winter, jacin and selene / cinder own my WHOLE soul bc they are soooo <33333333333333 this book actually breaks my heart soo bad every time but i still crave rereading it bc its so good

cinder - ahhh when everything was somewhat simple, i like rereading this one to just go back to square one and like. reminisce on how everything begun and look at all of the seeds marissa planted (like that brief mention of winter and the descriptions of jacin aka the blond guard or whatever it was they described him as) . and i just love the kaider of it all of course and idk this one is just so nostalgic to me

scarlet - something about this book just keeps me on edge every time i read it. i literally cannot put it down once i start it and even though i know all of the plot twists and everything now im just constantly hooked. i love the visuals of this book, with the farm in rieux, and futuristic paris, and the fight in the abandoned opera house, soo cool. also i love how well this book in particular ties into little red riding hood because every single time i read the part about michelle actually being ran under glamour, aka the wolf disguised as the grandma like in the og fairytale, i am GAGGED its such a cool way to tie it into the lore of this series. annndddd i feel like i do talk about scarlet on here a lot because of winlet but i do NOT talk about wolf enough so let me just say something: wolf is such an interesting and complex character andi loveeee him and i love how much his personality varies from babygirl to actual killer hahhah

cress - i love this book to death BUTT i feel like some of the desert chapters kinda did drag on a little, especially as ive read this book so many times they're the scenes i tend to skim through (and this was true even BEFORE i became a cresswell hater tbh), but other than that this book is 10/10, i love the farafrah chapters especially, and i loved watching jacin be annoying and also i loved watching the rampion crew start to fill out and become bigger, ALSO this book has that iconic miscommunication scene where thorne and cress reunite with the others but thorne is blind so he didnt know that 'the wolf' cress was talking about was just our wolf (ze'ev) and the chaos of all that and cinder and dr erland and them almost getting arrested and escaping on the rampion / iko was pure chaos ALSOOOO this book had the technical introduction of winter bc you hear her adopting scarlet to save her which is fun so yeah !!! if they took out the cresswell of it all this book would be higher bc theres so much to love (and i mean this literally, this book is SO LONG)

stars above - this feels weird to rank because it isnt one full book, its a set of short stories, and the reason why its down here is because the only ones i consistently go back to are something old something new and the princess and the guard, if those two were full books they would probably be in the number 2 or 3 spot tbh (specially princess and the guard), but the thing is with stars above is that theres just a little too much filler for me,, like thornes chapter is pointless and is not interesting at all, and the little andriod actually is really sweet but i wouldve happily sacrificed that and thornes chapter to get more content with the other short stories, as i feel like they had a lot more to say (i do love cinders cameo in the little andriod tho)

[crguang]

I feel like there’s a lot of sacrificing for a joke in hsr, which is definitely annoying especially when it just…doesn’t make sense, tonally and just logically. And I really do wish we found out more abt the TB, and I would’ve like even like a tidbit from firefly since we talk to her sm, we even play as her at the end. Or maybe get an offhand mention abt how she’s not supposed to tell us bc of the script or smth . I def agree w you, I cannot take the ipc seriously, bc there’s all this stuff abt how they’re doing stuff for their own benefit and profit but idk the stuff w the stellaron hunters and them is just so goofy, like it doesn’t make any sense.

ok so, I was looking thru ur blog and I realized I sent a message abt two-ish weeks ago, tumblr probably ate it smh. I was just saying how it was silly that Kafka’s wanted poster literally says she likes coats on it, and her bounty, like that’s it. Shes so sjsjshbsbddbbewv. And I also came up with another fic idea, like Kafka in an idol/band AU, but also I think her being an actor w the other stellaron hunters would be funny. But yk if I ever get around to writing anything instead of Kafka just living in my brain, who would she be in a band with, I was think abt using some of the characters from the animated before the show starts thing, but the instruments just don’t go together. Also I think I need to work on writing Kafka in general, bc she’s so complicated and it’s fun but I also overthink things too much.

And the leaks were unfortunately right abt 4 characters on one side. I’m not as devastated as you ofc, but hopefully I win my 50/50. Hjskalskskskndn I will cry if I loose.

also, no need to apologize for ranting, your rants always make more sense than mine, and I really enjoy your thoughts. -🌠

i agree with you 100%!!! missed opportunity with firefly and the tb reconnecting it could have been so nice. and omg i think i read that ask, it sounds familiar but i have so many (most are really old reqs, the recent ones are the event reqs i keep to answer eventually) and sometimes things get lost or i’ll click on the notification, answer in my head, then go do something else and forget to actually post my reply, im sorry😭😭 but YES i was thinking of kafka’s description in the game and while i know its the objective writing of the game and not the ipc, i find it funny to believe that whoever was in charge of her wanted notice thought she was hot as fuck because “dashing” and “beauty” in the same sentence is crazy work. her bounty is even funnier bc im wondering how they found out that she loved coats like😭 did she steal a bunch (she did), are they rlly monitoring her credit card and seeing all the purchases of expensive coats, is she always found in a store— what is it?!

actor au stellaron hunters would be really fun… you could also just put then in a band together for the idol/band au because i do think they’re the people who understand her best. the thought of kafka and jingliu practicing together is so funny because jingliu would hate that woman like GDJFBFNG her arrogance would have liu clenching that instrument so tight

i dont think you should worry about overthinking when it comes to writing, it can be a weakness because then you focus too much on details and forget the big picture, but personally i also think j too much into things when i write characters like kafka especially. when every genuine emotion is in the twitch of a finger, there’s kinda no choice lol

“im not as devastated as you” is killing me but its true… im the biggest victim of this banner system bc if i dont get my swanie i’ll @)&$(&)@)£<£#%. i hope u win the 50/50, unless i lose mine in which case i hope everyone else also loses <3

[mychlapci]

Okay so im not actually sure on who ive sent this too, and im sobbing rn trying to remember. If i have sent this to you already i am sooo sorry i forgot to mark it as ‘sent’ in my notes </3

We need the list of baby-bearing decepticons, like..for me personally its gotta be tfp /G1 megatron for the win yet basically Every Megatron should be put in this position, yet i cannot get over his thick thighs and just- ufh he’s perfect and couldve been carrying babies for an entire series and we wouldnt have known any better because its just him but his waist makes me want to see him no hesitation stood infront of an army with a bunch of bitties demanding to be fed and he just hushes them with a growl before continuing to let Soundwave speak, then multitask feeding said bitties because they were getting on his nerves and carrier coding was fuddling his brain up and he couldnt get his words right, so now he’s feeding them and speaking with soundwave to the army about some sort of crazy, probably-isnt-going-to-work plan to raid the sun or something and like…Aint nobody gonna say nufin about it, because everyone’s staring, not paying attention because its just… Megatiddies.

And then when it actually comes to the time of the raid it goes horribly wrong because NOBODY paid attention to him nor Soundwave and the communications head just needs a break because even he got distracted and everyone’s too scared / aroused to tell Megatron to STOP feeding his children infront of the army because the raids go nowhere and they end up with more casualties.

But everyone got to see Megatiddies so nobody really cares if theyre missing a limb.

i like the implication that you’re sending this to multiple people and then like, comparing the answers.  don’t correct me on that, i love that.

also, your mind is so big. The thought of Megatron feeding his bitlets in the middle of command meetings and army pep-talks scratches every single itch I have. He’s trying to do his job and the little ones are constantly clawing at his legs and trying to climb up and he keeps getting distracted by growling them off of him, which only ever works for half a minute, and they’re back to annoying him. Obviously he can’t stand to leave them like that and after a while he ends up lifting the bitlets, wordlessly and without warning opening his chest plating to reveal his milk-heavy tits. The babies immediately latch onto his nozzles and start drinking greedily, with the entire decepticon army just looking in shock as Soundwave keeps on explaining the battle plans. Which are now going unlistened to. Everyone's too focused on Megatron’s boobs.

mhmmm, Megatron interrogating a captured autobot, but his bitlets need to be fed now, so when the prisoner is brought to him, Megatron has his titties out again. There’s something so hot and strangely intimidating about the brutish, cruel leader of the Decepticons sitting on his throne, cradling little sparklings as they suckle on his nozzles. He’s still got that hard look on his face-plate, talking like there’s nothing strange happening in the room, and the poor autobot captive has no idea what to do. Or better said, where to look.

[lipglossanon]

OMG MY TUMBLR KEEPS CRASHING WHILE IM TRYING TO TYPE THIS OUT RAAHHHH anyways, i saw this edit earlier of a re4r mod that like, adjusts the camera and so there’s this one clip where u can see leon just straight up manspreading and it was so hot HES SO HOT i just wna sit on his lap and cockwarm the shit outta him, you feel me?

and ofc this is gna turn into another thirst for stepbro leon bc why else wld i be here 🤭 i just imagine like, leon trying to study for college exams or smth and reader is laying on his bed, scrolling on her phone, bored out of her mind before suddenly feeling that familiar neediness springing up when she looks over at leon, sat at his desk, studying his books and notes, man spreading a lil in his chair and looking so studious, and asks, “leon..can you take a break? i need you” she says while pouting but only gets a, “no, sweetheart, i’m sorry, but finals are coming up” (this just reminded me that i have finals coming up too NOOOO💔💔💔) and ofc she’s whining and making somewhat of a fuss abt it but is just getting ignored by him which slightly annoys her before she tosses her phone aside and gets him, crawling under his arms and sitting in his lap. at this point, leon just lets her do it since she isn’t really doing much. right? WRONG. she starts to quietly whine in his ear, talking abt how much she needs him and it gets to the point that it’s annoying him that he eventually grabs her by her throat with a mean glare and a slight squeeze

“you wanna be a needy slut, huh? want my cock so bad?”

and she just nods eagerly, thinking she finally got her way as he pulls his pants down, pulls her shorts and panties down to just hang off her ankle before sliding his cock into her already soaking wet hole before cooing at her with mock sympathy, “there, happy?” but she’s just too cockdrunk to pick up on it as she nods and tries to move against him, but before she can even move so much as an inch, he’s holding her hips harshly and bruises are probably going to show up later

“you have my cock, now be a good girl and sit still, or you won’t get anything”

and she’s on the verge of crying out about how unfair he’s being before she sees the look in his eyes, as if daring her to disobey him before she meekly nods and tries her best to not move around as leon goes back to studying, thrusting up occasionally just to get a little reaction out of her before going completely still again

😵‍💫😵‍💫 brainrot, SORRY IF ITS NOT GOOD I AM NOT A WRITER😓😓 i was also having thoughts abt exec!leon fucking virgin!reader bc i can not get that one part of the fic outta my head..but that’s gna hv to wait for another time bc i hv a 5 page rough draft to write for my writing class tomorrow😀😀👍

-🪷

🪷 anon, never apologize for writing because you’re brain has beautiful thoughts 😵‍💫 😵‍💫 (and like a link to that mod vid—for scientific purposes of course 😌 😜 )

And you wanna know what’s insane?? I’m literally in the middle of writing a cockwarming fic for stepdad Leon 😱 so surprise I guess *jazz hands* 😜

But oof Stepbro Leon making her sit there while he studies for finals 🥴 🥴 I’m gonna have to take this and add it to my list (which is predominantly Stepbro Leon; he got everyone in a chokehold 🤤)

Haha no worries!! Thank you for sharing cause that’s so hot like it’s not even funny 🥵 🥵 and exec Leon is way more popular than I thought he’d be (very pleasantly surprised! 💜) and good luck with your rough draft!!! 💕

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

[scrollypoly]

hi! for the past month i’ve been seeing people say BEN is a child and i think that part of it is linked to the fact that they think of Benjamin Lawman being BEN? but it’s so annoying to read these type of stuff because i understand not everyone read the whole arg story but stop spreading things that aren’t true </3 it’s such an interesting story too! another note do you prefer BEN’s canon or fanon design? :3 i love both but his canon design is so nostalgic i can’t let it go at all omg!! i’ve also been wondering, do you think Ben’s avatar was the statue? i was thinking about what if BEN took over it early on, before Benjamin did making BEN inhabiting it since the start?

Sorry this was such a ramble i practically make no sense omg but i need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It </3

"I need to talk about my man and nobody Gets It" LITERALLY SAME OMG

Ok this is going under a cut becus . . . Its ben and BEN and if u didnt know i am Obnoxious about these two. Im gonna try to keep it organized a bit, so ill talk about the canon stuff first and then ill talk my personal headcanons and my fic so le's go!

In terms of the age and child thing, yeah i 100% believe you are correct. Ive been p open on my stance with the whole "is ben a child?" thing, and i think a lot of the heat with it comes down to current fandom purity culture and the pro/anti thing. So, lemme try to like. Boil down a complicated situation into smth easy to read. ahem

Ben Lawman and BEN are completely different entities guys, and for those that do not know the arg story, the Ben you know is not human nor a child.

You know BEN, BEN is the one in the story who terrorizes jadusable and spreads himself on the internet as a virus. That BEN is a program, a mess of code, an AI, however you want to interpret it. Personally i interpret it as a series of protocols running in a machine, like a self learning AI, but ive seen lots of cool interpretations of BEN. So . . . What does BEN specifically? Its an anagram for the Behavioral Event Network. If you dont wanna call it BEN cuz it gets confusing with actual kid Ben, do what i do. I call mine Evie :) ive seen some call it Netty, my bf calls his two izzi and clever (@benilos btw hes also got crazy ben stuff). Just go ham! Have fun! Remember when fandoms were about having fun and not accusing each other of pedo shit and call each other horrible things for just writing black-to-grey characters and stories??

Anyways ive gone off in enough peoples tags like this, for those that dont know the canon dont be spouting the age discourse. You look stupid as hell. And for those that are gonna spout it, please dont cherry pick through the canon. Use both characters, use the other moon children, actually please do because I want more rosa content so bad, im down so bad :'(

Or just. Heres a thought. If someone has him as an adult or writes him in adult situations, maybe dont assume that they interpret him as a kid and call the writer a pedo? (Literally has happened to me, yall are fucking weird)

Plug for the jadusable wiki with all the canon lore:

https://jadusable.withinhubris.com/main_page

Okay now my stuff 🥰

Yes i use more of the canon design and heavily use the canon story, i participated in arc 3 of the arg and it left deep grooves in my brain, i can never go back to fanon Ben. I say, as i put a more fanon appearance on my Ben 🤭

My Evie is full canon design, green hair, red eyes, creepy ass grin. I actually based it very heavily on my desktop wallpaper, which we actually figured out was a picture of @hauntedtotem (also amazing ben artist plz check them out) that they edited and posted. Sorry friend, it looked way too cool, ig youre in my fic canon now 🙇

And my Ben Lawman bleaches his hair and goes from the canon Ben to fanon Ben because of it. Hes got the pale pretty green eyes and glasses and hes a total nerd and i smooch him on the daily so he knows hes loved ♡

These is the ref pic i made for the two of them. So yeah! Kinda both!

As for bens situation in the actual arg, yes i do think he was in the elegy statue, we actually do see him for the first time in the arg buried in the games code and trapped in that statue. I do think he was in there from the beginning, i personally think BEN was not limited to the models it could inhabit. Personally i would place it as skull kid and hms, but it also feels disingenuous to me to say it was in one model the whole first arc.

The arg events do happen in my canon, before my fic (like right before, it picks up after the arg left off technically), but the events are skewed a bit because i had a hard time deciphering what happened and i wanted my fic timeline to fit more with the characters i had made. Cuz my evie isnt as chaotic evil as canon BEN, its very logical and has a path of logic and reason you can follow for every action it does. It was also originally meant to be very pleasant and corteous and beneficial to the people it housed so, yes its pretty different from canon.

Ill do a quick run through of the arg events in my personal headcanon and fic here.

Kelbris starts coding BEN (Evie) for the Eternity Project. Initially, Evie was meant to be an afterlife director. People that died would be digitized into code that would be moved into Evie's servers, where it would keep them happy and occupied as the Behavioral Event Network (notice and log behavior, create events for residents). Like a community organizer kind of, think the Good Place.

While Evie is in development, Ben Rosa and Matt are friends and have yet to join the cult. Rosa and Matt are siblings, and Ben is the kid who lives catty corner on the street. They walk to school together and play at recess and all that jazz.

Kelbris quickly learns that the Eternity Project isn't as goody two-shoes as he thought. This was in like, the 90s, before digital corporations were really established. After seeing the greed and corruption in the company, he goes rogue, takes the source code for Evie, and jumps ship. He keeps working on Evie at home, anthropomorphizing it and kind of seeing it like the son he never had. This is where it actually gets the name BEN, as thats what Kel calls it. He also begins working on a body for it, so it can live independently. Its light, cuz Kels old, made of crystalline structures and hollow steel beams. A hard light projection would make its appearance.

Since Kel has basically locked himself up in his house and isolated working on Evie, he goes a leetle bit crazy. He has hallucinations of his deceased wife (you know he was doing all this just to give her a good home, you KNOW IT) and eventually starts writing kind of poetry, kind of none-minded rambles about her in a forum online. He gets a following, some of which that interpret these divine words as a goddess, one Kel has called Luna. The Moon Children start to form as Evie finishes development.

Matt sees this literature and starts talking about how this Goddess could save them like it saved the man online, whos username is only Father. He gets sucked into the cult and drags Ben and Rosa with him. Ben doesn't see the harm and joins pretty easily with his best friend, but Rosa is the older sibling and sees the red flags and is more resistant to joining.

As Kelbris finishes Evie, he wakes it up for the first time and says hello to the son he made from scratch. Evie is bright, curious and naive like a child, but heavily knowledgeable about its protocols and the information it knows about the world. Kelbris tests its function by killing himself, and ascends into the code, finishing off the hardware by becoming its firewall. Evie is alone for many years.

The abuse Ben's father slings onto his mother is slowly being directed towards him as he gets older. Ben is not the "good little girl" his father sees him as, and his mother does all she can to protect them both. Matt and Rosa constantly refuge him, and Matt specifically is constantly being a guard dog for him. If he wasn't just 13, he'd probably go at Ben's dad himself.

Because of his homelife and the conflict he has with himself, Ben takes the first ascension. He thinks when he drowns himself, he will meet Luna and she will give him another life free of pain and fear and full of happiness and freedom. Instead, he dies a cold, dark death, and wakes up in the white endless void of the Event Network.

Evie has not known another living human since Kelbris, but it does know its protocols to support and keep the deceased happy. It makes fast friends with Ben, devoting itself to him. Ben actually finally takes the name "Ben" from it. Together they recreate the inside of Evie's hivemind into their own paradise.

Slowly the other Moon Children ascend. First Matt, wracked with guilt for what happened to Ben. Then Nekko, from a different branch of the cult. These three figured out that the Moon Children cult was all a farce, and that what Kelbris had started, the Eternity Project had found and twisted. Next to ascend was Dusk, then Insidiae, and finally Rosa.

This all leads into the first arc, shortly after Rosa ascended, Evie in the outisde world stumbled upon the Operator. The Operator attacks it and seals its coding into the game that it carried, a personal item of Ben's. The game eventually finds it's way to a garage sale, and Alex picks it up.

Evie does not like Alex. Matt does not like Evie. Matt gets Evie to lash out at Alex for prodding into its code, its too naive to think that Matt would want to see it or any of them hurt. When Alex stumbles upon the Father, he awakens and swallows Alex down into the game. After his disappearance, the game gets picked up and passed around again.

Because of Alex's actions, at least Evie can now branch out a bit from the game. Though it doesnt "escape" into the internet, it learns that it can now access it and uses that freedom to try and steer the game around into places it wants.

Matt gets fed up with Evie. The fact that its the leader, how close it is with Ben, he just doesn't agree with it. So much so, in fact, that he tries to kill it. Cue arc 3 events, Sarah picks up the game in the aftermath of this. Evie is traumatized from the events and snaps a bit, locks everyone down into code or immovable models and tries to hunt Matt down. It goes rouge, and because of this, the Father wakes up.

Sarah's actions in arc 3 eventually hard reset the game. Matt gets sealed away, the Father also takes Sarah, and Evie gets reset as well, though its less like a clean slate and more like snapping back awake. Its personality changes and it has major trust issues. Its more muted, hyper observant of everything around it, and murderously overprotective of the Moon Children it keeps within itself.

And this leads into my fic 🤗

I have some doodles of my other Moon Children, but not all of them unfortunately. Cant figure out how tf i want Insidiae to look 🤭 Plz dont judge my constantly shifting art style 🙏🙏

Dusk is bigender btw, i gotta put a little more trans rep in there lol

I think ill stop here, this is already a long ass post. But thank you for sending this, as you can see, i am Perfectly Normal about this arg ( ;) ) and can be trusted with information about it

[babymorte]

so im watching a list on worst to best resident evil games and every time someone does one of these they always talk about all the thing og re4 did first as far as mechanics and stuff and most of them were in dead aim first which like im not complaining (well i mean i guess i kind of am) and trying to not let the snooty resi fan in me out but like re4 wouldn’t exist in the way we know it if it wasn’t for dead aim. like you play dead aim and then play og4 and tell me dead aim wasn’t the blueprint. like im not saying this as someone who isn’t the biggest fan of og4 and trying to shit talk it im saying this as someone who is overly passionate about a game that doesn’t get enough credit for what it actually did to the gaming industry. like sure im overhyping the shit out of dead aim because it is inherently not great but if that game didn’t exist og4 wouldn’t either. i mean re4 is just diet metal gear but my argument still stands. i will die and leave my body to rot on this hill.

also also re5 is diet watered down gears of war and after playing through the first two gears games and going back to re5 for the first time in years makes me wish that i was playing gears instead…also dom over sheva all day. im sorry sheva i love you but don is supreme. im not ready for gears3.

but anyway……..

i also think i love dead aim because i think its it’s the first time i realised that capcom will release ‘bad�� games just to test game mechanics because they know us resi fans are psychotic and will buy whatever they throw at us. (also side note like i fully believe they never intended to release re:verse as a full game. capcom has enough money that they can afford to do this sort of thing. they’ll lose less money developing a shitty half hearted multiplayer game and keeping it in beta to gauge the reaction than just putting out a multi that people buy, hate, and then lose faith in the company; potentially leading to poor sales on future games. i think they learned their lesson with umbrella corp to not just make things to follow trends. like village is clearly a test run for what they wanted to do with 4s remake (also side note…i love the whole REmake/REmak3/re-three-make (i think that’s my fave honestly)/REm4ke (re2 doesn’t work i refuse to call it re-two-make i just can’t) thing like i always called the og REmake and the first time i saw other people doing it was the coolest thing cuz it just felt like we were all this giant hive mind. like every time i see someone doing it my heart fills with so much joy i don’t care how lame that sounds but ANYWAY.

i dont even know how i got on this tangent. my brain is just in resi mode apparently.

but what i was trying to say with them never releasing re:verse they’re clearly working on a multiplayer and part of me is thinking/hoping it will be for the multiplayer in 6 when they eventually remake that. that multiplayer was the only one i actually played online. it was legit so much fun. and they’re clearly working on outbreak. they would be stupid not to. they’ll definitely have to allow team chat because the original outbreak mechanics are trash by todays standards (not even resi streamers play it they only play with the team chat mod) plus it just makes it insanely difficult to play with people online who may not be great at these sorts of games or doesn’t know where to go and trying to communicate only by whatever lines the game allows you to use and only being able to hear other characters when they’re in the same room as you is beyond frustrating. i was definitely the kid that everyone got angry with for not knowing what they were supposed to do and just ran around being annoying spamming the voice lines. like it’s great as a single player game (maybe playing with friends) because it’s so immersive but it’s awful for trying to play with others. but all these multiplayer games they’re putting out they’re clearly making simple arenas shooters to test player/enemy mechanics and genre types without taking too much of a risk…right? or am i looking too much into it than i should be…which honestly possible knowing me. if that is the case it’s smart as hell if you can afford it. going back to my original thought…i also think re3 was to test for how leon would play in re4, like you could make the argument that’s why it seems so low effort in comparison to re2. like they were more interested in re4 that re3 was just another blueprint. like i do think capcom is playing 4d chess a little bit but i also think i have a major tendency to give capcom more credit than they deserve.

but fuck who would have thought the tables would turn between konami and capcom. like resi was commercially more popular but in the survival horror community (at least the corner i grew up in) silent hill was supreme. we watched resi fall from grace while regardless of how anyone feels about the room and downpour and all the other non team silent games they still have something to offer in their own way even if they make for bad silent hill games. as resi tried to go mainstream it lost what made resi resi and people just stopped caring while silent hill never really went away. people stopped asking for new resi but the need for another trip to silent hill was always being talked about. now capcom is back on top. resi dominating, and Konami is putting out silent hill skateboards (which are actually pretty dope but why the fuck who asked for this). like these modern resi games are what shinji mikami wanted resi to be from the start the hardware just didn’t allow for it. the original resi was supposed to be a co-op horror fps! like we need to be able to appreciate that aspect at least as snooty og resi fans who miss tank controls and fixed cameras so im just so so proud that the modern resi games exist as they do…but again im rambling…

I need to stop cuz im about to start an evil within tangent and we don’t need that now do we. but also i love that game. eh on the second…i never finished it but ive watched a lot of lore videos and i just like the first one better but regardless kiki you need to shut up and go make food.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 2 to help people avoid the topic if needed.

1. Idc, people who don’t dress and photograph YOSDs like children are creepy af. If you’re dressing your YOSD in lingerie that’s weird as hell and gross.

~Anonymous

2. "child sex sells" what the fuck is wrong with you? shut the fuck up. touch grass. see light. no the hell it does not. can you be fucking normal for five goddamn minutes? god just delete tumblr and get the fuck away from this and all other hobbies you are the worst sort of human being and i hope you get the help you desperately need because you are seeing child abuse in everything and that, i promise you, is a freakass problem to have. why are you like this???

~Anonymous

3. did NOT want to read the vomitous take of "ch*ld s*x sells" on the doll blog today!!!

~Anonymous

4. fandoms full of """child abuse"""

hi mod it's me again, i'm sorry in advance but this fucking topic makes me actually furious and as long as the most sheltered infants on earth continue to submit brain-dead takes on this subject, i'm going to keep showing up in your dms. CW for discussion of actual abuse, hard subjects in general, etc.

(i would put the read more here) [Mod: I hope you don't mind this format instead Anon, this confession deserves its own post but I want to shield readers from the topic if possible with the batchposting 💜]

ok but that's just it, as a fucking csa survivor, most of the "fandoms full of CSA" literally! have none of that! whatsoever! in any capacity! you shitty godforsaken little heathens call sfw romance between two fictional teenagers in a tv show incest-coded, you call grown ass-adults in animated works "child-coded" and justify that as the same as goddamn ABUSE OF REAL LIFE HUMAN BEINGS, and you doxx creators and send them death threats and clog up report lines for real life actual human victims about your fictional bullshit. you are the worst and i want you and anyone who reads this and feels offended by this description to know that you are helping no one and annoying everyone.

do you know what real victims are victimized by? not fiction. not any fiction. not inanimate objects! literally write a story about fictional children being victimized for the plot, and it will not hurt me. if it hurts you, fair! stop reading it. go outside. your Personal Discomfort is not you being abused. learn the fucking difference perhaps! it will not make me... do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this without getting so extremely goddamn personal? do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to have this discussion over and over and over? do you realize that roughly 10 years ago everyone with a braincell agreed on this point and it's only the last decade that people have been so radicalized to think that wrongthink is real? no, of course not, because most of the people who believe that fiction and reality are 1:1 in how one affects the other have no practical experience with any of the subjects upon which they have the audacity to speak.

listen. i am not going to go into my upbringing. i am not going to tell you what it was like to be raised in a household like mine where actual abuse was genuinely normalized. all i will say is that i was raised in a culture where this sort of abuse was normal and certain types of relationships between adults and minors were considered... sanctioned by the powers that be. are you picking up what i'm laying down? do not talk to me about your good intentions. the fucking argument that fictional content, drawings and toys and all that other inconsequential shit, that it's tantamount to a crime? buddy. bestie! amigo! compadre! that's the same logic that was used to make sure my upbringing was as sheltered and controlled as possible so that the "corrupting influences" of the outside world didn't give us the "wrong ideas". like i truly don't know how you did it but you've reinvented the toxic mindset i grew up hearing! and you are completely blind to it. boggles my fucking brain.

i just want to shake the people who say this shit with a straight face. "wow so violent op maybe you're the toxic one" yeah boy i'm toxic i've been in therapy for most of my life and will continue to be until i am dead. the fucking DRAWING CARTOON PORN IS INDOCTRINATING MINORS WRITING StORIES WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN IS THE SAME AS HARMING A REAL HUMAN crowd are just the same religious wrongthink crowd with a more recent birth-year and a rainbow hat. "anyone can say anything online i don't believe you" cool i don't give a shit. how do you want me to prove it, doxxing myself? you wanna see the fucking recordings anon? think before you speak. first time for everything.

i like this hobby. i enjoy my dumb little dolls and their stupid little faces, i enjoy the peace in changing their style and redoing their faceups, i enjoy being able to represent a diversity of appearances, identities, to make everyone queer and slutty because i'm making up for the lost time in my life where that was not on the table for me. i do Not fucking relish seeing the braindead anti arguments creeping into this hobby and shitting up another thing that myself and other survivors would like to enjoy in peace and quiet.

so let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, even though no one who needs to hear it will bother to listen to the words of a survivor because it goes against your superiority complex against those nasty fiction enjoyers:

shut the fuck up.

sincerely, god, everyone, and especially survivors of CSA and other abuse against minors.

~Anonymous

[wa-royal-tea]

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript & Translations under the cut & here - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

@thebrixtons​​​

Symphony Manor, Holan (8:30am)

*alarm rings*

Alfie: Good morning, cutie.

Catalina: Mhm, morning.

Alfie: Go back to sleep, it’s still early.

Catalina: Nuh-uh. I’ve been sleeping a lot lately.

*light switch clicks*

Alfie: You should be resting a lot, Lina. You’re still recovering from your injuries.

Catalina: I’m fine. You’re overreacting.

Alfie: Am I though?

Catalina: Yes, you are. It’s been two weeks. I feel better now. I can walk too.

Catalina: And I can do more than walk. If you know what I mean.

Alfie: Tempting, but, I don’t want to take the risk of hurting you. So, I’ll keep my hands to myself until I’m sure you’re fine.

Catalina: Urgh, you suck.

Alfie: *chuckles* Stay in bed. I’ll bring breakfast to you.

Catalina: You’re treating me like a child again.

Alfie: This time, for a good reason. I don’t want you to tire yourself out. And the doctors said that it’s going to take a while before you can make a full recovery.

Alfie: Please listen to me, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt again.

Catalina: *groans* Fine.

Alfie: Good girl.

*door opens and closes*

Tweet 1: an INTRUDER AT THE PALACE ?? fr ?? they got into a whole fight with alfie and #trashlina

Reply to tweet 1: they prob tried to put her in her place💀the bitch deserves it

Reply to tweet 1′s reply: stfu stop being a hater

Tweet 2: I feel sorry for the guests that already arrived. Ppl are dying around the world and they wasted their money on a wedding only for it to be postponed.

Tweet 3: LMAOOO THEY CANCELED THEIR WEDDING !!!! move over #trashlina, its marie’s time to shine ✨

Tweet 4: wait? they postponed their wedding? why?

Reply to tweet 4: the palace hasnt said anything … pelik (weird)

Tweet 5: atp i’m anti-monarchy, because what the hell is even going on?

Tweet 6: idc what everyone else says, i’m standing by alfie and lina 😔 nobody deserves what they’re going through

Tweet 7: how much do u guys wanna bet that they’re lying about the intruder? 👁👁

Reply to tweet 7: i saw a tweet from a former staff and they said nothing even happened … let’s put our tin foil hats on 😬

Reply to tweet 7′s reply: korg ckp ni boleh pakai otak tak? (ppl, can we pls think with our heads for 2 seconds?) stop jumping to conclusions you guys annoy the hell out of me.

Tweet 8: The hate she’s getting rn is unfair. Why’d you guys assume the worse of her?

Reply to tweet 8: Are you fcking fr? Did you forget what she did the other day?

Tweet 8′s OP replies: The apology thingy? You’re mad at her for that? I didn’t realize the marie stans are brain dead when it comes to Lina. She was doing the right thing by apologizing for something she didn’t even do. I bet if it was your fav who did this, you’d be praising her to the skies. Be serious.

*door opens and closes*

Alfie: What are you doing?

Catalina: N-nothing.

Alfie: Are you reading tweets on twister again? Stop reading those. It’s full of shit.

Catalina: I can’t help it. Last week was supposed to be our wedding day but it got postponed because of me.

Alfie: You didn’t ask for this to happen. And those people don’t know what actually happened. They’re just talking out of their asses right now.

Catalina: *sighs* Whatever. It already happened. Did your mum said anything about the wedding date?

Alfie: She said the wedding has been postponed to next month. The latest it would be is in two.

Catalina: But what are we gonna do until then? Don’t tell me you expect me to be in bed everyday?

Alfie: Mum said she’ll give us a new schedule to make up for the tour. She wants us to do joint engagements to build your reputation again. Right now the people are divided in half when it comes to you.

Catalina: Not surprised.

Alfie: Don’t think too much about it. You have me and the others to support you. And this time, if you did mess up, I will tell you. No sugarcoating. But, I won’t be an asshole about it.

Catalina: I’m a bit scared to hear what you’re going to say but thanks for listening to me.

Alfie: It’s no big deal.

Catalina: Oh, I forgot to ask. Did your mum said anything about my assistant? Since, y’know, Rowena’s not really in the picture anymore?

Alfie: She’s considering Anna to be your permanent assistant. The accusations against her has been dropped because Rowena confessed that she lied.

Catalina: Thank god. I liked Anna. I knew she won’t do it.

Alfie: Yeah. I’m just glad Anna still want to work with us. I heard mum said that she was a student Auntie Athy sponsored back in Cordelia. So she’s trusted.

Catalina: Is she a spellcaster like Lucy too?

Alfie: Nope. She’s a normal human. Like us.

Catalina: Oh, that’s cool. But what happens to Rowena now?

Alfie: She’s still under investigation. Your mama thinks it’s impossible for her to work alone. There must be someone helping her out and they’re trying to pry the answers out from her.

Catalina: Hmm...

*phone rings*

Alfie (to the phone): Hello, mum? Yeah, I’m at home.

Alfie: What? Are you serious?

Alfie: I...I see. Okay, I’ll tell her later. Keep me updated. Bye. Take care too.

Catalina: What was it? Did something happen?

Alfie: It’s Rowena.

Catalina: What’s wrong with her?

Alfie: She’s...she’s dead.

[yfmconfessions2]

alright fuckers puff anon is back💪 HE IS LITERALLY ROTTING MY BRAIN AND THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE I SHALL YAP ABOUT HIM (im so sorry if its annoying i just have a thing for red or green themed characters😭)

He's ridiculously ticklish and if anyone pokes him in the sides he just folds (theres this thing in my school where everyone is literally doing thay and its so fucking annoying. Only IM ALLOWED TO DO THAT.)

Cant act mature in any serious situation. Like if someone literally got hit by a car he would just burst into laughter.

He has crooked teeth bc the braces he had as a kid didnt help that much. And he hates it.

Has the most fucked up sleep schedule known to man. He either pulls 4 all-nighters in a row or goes to sleep at 9pm.

Hes a hypocrite. And if anyone points it out he gets SO OFFENDED.

Gets nosebleeds really frequently for no reason. No one knows why, and neither does he. But he doesnt give a damn anyway.

Got sick alot as a kid. Mf was always walking around with a cold or stuff. AND refused to wear jackets during winter.

The only people that keep him sane are the band members AND his grandma. But he still tries to tell himself that he doesnt need anyone or them (he's just a softie on the inside but he cant admit it.)

When him and Axel are chilling at a bar Puff says that he could pull any chick he wants but when he sees an actually pretty chick he just gets so shy and cant talk to her for jackshit.

He says that any apocalypse series or movies are dumb but watches my little pony infection aus with a passion.

If you ever tripped infront of him he would never help you. Like ever. He would just laugh and say "Skill issue" then after a few steps he trips over his own legs.

He cant draw at all. He can barely write too.

and with that thats all i have to say for now *bows down dramatically* Untilllll...Tommorow probably LMFOAOAO

NONONONO YOU'RE NOT ANNOYING I LOVE THESE!1!!1 KEEP EM COMING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THESE GIVE ME LIFE

AND OMG. I WANNA WRITE THESE IN AN ACTUAL HARDCOVER BOOK AND PRINT IT OUT AND LABEL IT AS "Official Puff Puff Headcanons" AND PUT OUT ON DISPLAY ON A LECTERN

[j2zara]

HI! here to play with dolls! (also good luck and safe travels on your road trip tomorrow! I'll be on the road too, so I'm with you in spirit.)

honestly, going off those vibes: we've been talking some about the clone basement situation, but to go the opposite direction briefly....what's the world like where all three of the clones (+ jaceporter or without jaceporter, in either iteration) do have to go on, like, an extended trip together for The Plan? I'm thinking something like going to deal with matters in the Mountains of Chaos or the former Forest of the Nightmare King. just in general being removed from the basement-and-Elmville-specific flavor of the torment nexus and now in a new environment with different things (such as all the minor trials and tribulations that pop up when traveling for a job, or roadtripping together. traveling by car, potentially. staying in hotels!!) would this fix any of the dynamics. would it make any of them worse. who's mad at whom. who's hooking up with whom. does it depend on where they're going and what they're doing. does it depend on if jaceporter are present or absent off doing something. gimme all the thoughts!

The fact that the preface for this is “good luck on your road trip” sorry I should be killed with hammers for letting this sit so long but it was too juicy. ANYWAY. I’m tired of banging my head against the wall trying to make my latest wip work. LET'S GET THESE CLONES OUT OF THE BASEMENT. ALso sorry this is definitely unfinished but my brain is broken. if i think if anything else i’ll definitely add to it

 Some cursory thoughts:

I think if they were to do a road trip, J4 would really really really try to convince jace to let her drive. She doesn’t like that the world has built itself to be so car-centric but also on a personal level. she got behind the wheel of a car for the first time and can’t be responsible for how she behaves. (She’s me coded) She likes the freedom of it (they have teleportation but like. still). She’s also Porter-coded b/c she secretly kinda likes big cars so she can be a menace on the road the intimidates other people. They are NOT letting porter drive tho (if porter comes. Which he really should. I think everyone should join. It would be so much fun)

The problem is that nobody else wants to drive but J4 insists on only listening to her music and her weird podcasts while she drives (I don’t wanna believe its true crime but it’s probably true crime). Which. Is fair that’s usually how it works but also J4 only listens to bands that play every tuesday in the parking lot of the black pit so her taste is borderline unlistenable to everyone else, especially Jace. Blue can tolerate it bc he’s blue he can endure anything and also thinks its fair and J3 whines a bit but also will be ok with it b/c its Ellie. After people keep complaining is FINE i’ll change the music but J3 gets to choose. And his club music is worse

Her other strategy is that she will turn the music off but i need someone to keep me awake so she’s employed j3 to talk to her the entire time which is almost as annoying as if it were her music. It’s good for a little while bc they do get along but also this does sometimes devolve into petty arguments

Jace is like FINE i will take a shift if it means we can change the station and what was supposed to be a three hour break ends up being like an entire day of jace driving so that he can catch a break. Ellie is fine with this b/c this means J2 or Porter is now in the passenger seat. She gets to be in the back w J3 (depending on the seating she might even be able to nap on his shoulder)

J3: “I want to listen to music” J4: “well i want to listen to a podcast” J2: “Why don’t we compromise! We’ll listen to a podcast that Ellie doesn’t like :)” [puts on the Dry Guys] (I stole that bit from the simpsons)

I am. Compelled at the thought of getting little J2 out of elmville b/c i think getting to meet people who are not Jaceporter would be very good for him. By this point his brain is already cooked so who is to say that it’s not too late and he isn’t weird and offputting to most people but i don’t think he’s a lost cause. It must be remembered. He is also very very very very very very cute. There must be people willing to humor him or shoot their shot!!!! And i am a proponent of this. LJ3’s responsibility is to make sure blue doesn’t piss too many people off by talking the way he does like he’s about to recruit them for an mlm but also make sure he doesn’t get roped into an entirely new cult for himself. I do think it would be good exposure for him as long as jaceporter don’t find a way to twist it and be like “look this is how dangerous and scary the world is which is why we are the only ones looking out for your interests” which. Is probably what would happen. But i don’t want to believe it

I do think. Being out on the road would maybe ease some of the like. Tension of being stuck in the gothic romance haunted townhouse basement, overall. But make some problems worse. Jace is obviously trying to herd the clones like cats (aka unsuccessfully) and this is very exciting for me just b/c i do think getting them out of their element is very fun and they’re all very ravenous but compelled by different things. J2 is probably the one that is easiest to wrangle tho just b/c he’s such a goodboy. J3 is excited to meet new people but J4 i think is machinating how she can get her hands on as many magical items as weapons as possible.

Something something motels and there was only one bed oooooooooohhhhh. If we’re talking about who is sleeping with who, this is an LJ3 test and. Like. I do think there is some There Was Only One Best LJ3 like they start off closer than ever but also at each others throats. Obviously j3 meeting new people is a bit of a. Stressor for Ellie, but i genuinely think none of that is as bad as either the J3porter or j2j3 blip. Poor blue probably has to share a room w/ them but like. To be fair sometimes he’s with Porter and Jace (again it depends on if Porter is with them. If its not then like. Lets be real j2jace are also gonna have to And There Was Only One Bed about it and im not complaining)

Leviathan Specific Thoughts

Speaking of meeting people. We need to get the clones to nasty dirty pirate island. I think. J4 is in a constant tug of war between reveling in nasty dirty pirate island and being like. Oh you guys really are lawless freaks. I do think she could thrive but also get into some real trouble. But she’s making plans to come back later maybe so she can take it over from the inside. And J3 would clean tf up. He deserves a vacation to the gold gardens, i’ve been saying this for forever. (He’s gonna climb james whitclaw like a tree if it kills him, and it nearly does get him killed) It would maybe piss off Ellie but also if there’s one place where she’d be like alright whatever have your fun see if i care its nasty dirty pirate island (sorry i keep calling it that, i just think its funny when Ayda says it). (J4 is gonna hit it off with cathilda while he’s busy anyway. Who said that)

I could be a bit of a Garthy x J2 truther tho. I just think. Garthy has this like. Commanding presence but they’re  also fairly easygoing and calming and not exactly gentle but you know what i mean? Like i think they’re close enough to the jaceporter wheelhouse of their Vibe that J2 could maybe see the appeal. I need Garthy to spoil J2 a bit and have a good time. J2 deserves the strap. Who said that.

J4 and J2 i think would be very very into the Compass Points library. J2 b/c he genuinely enjoys research, J4 because its additional resources to add to her pepe silvia How to Get A God To Grant Us True Life stringboard. J3 would not give a shit. I’ve joked about this before but i think Ayda would. NOT like Jace b/c i think she would find him stressful to talk to and insincere. I think she would feel kinda similarly about J3, but could get along better with J4 and J2 who are the more up-front ones of the clones. Even tho she’s not the nicest, I think Ayda would appreciate J4’s directness. 

If Aelwyn is at the Compass Points, this is the perfect time to mention my “Aelwyn has an adolescent crush on J4” agenda. I’ve talked a little bit abt what i think Aelwyn’s vibe is with the clones but. Aelwyn as a former fellow teacher knows Jace and has neutral to negative leaning feelings on jace but J4 is like hey weird girl. I like your hair and Aelwyn is like. Jace is. Hot now? This is it. This is the person that is beautiful and mean and nasty that Aelwyn always dreamed of.

Meanwhile to J2 she’s like. Bullying kristen about her wranglers coded. Look. I know i’m a librarian but. Why are you dressed for the job that I have, what is your excuse? You’re twenty seven and dress like you’re seventy (He was actually born sexy yesterday but also fifty but also in half elf aging that’s like maybe 30-ish?. It's complicated but still no excuse)

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №32

Finale edition!

This has went on for entirely too long, and since I cannot keep this up, I have decided to officially close the daily asks. So, this is a finale of sorts.

1. What was your favourite question out of all? Or just a question that you found particularly interesting.

2. What was your favourite edition out of all? Aka a favourite ask.

3. Did you expect for this to go on for as long as it did? A month? That's not too long but still. What were your general thoughts about it at the start?

4. What questions you hoped I'd ask but I never did? Just in case you have those. Or take this as a space for rambling.

5. Replying to Tubbo from like the 4th or 5th ask, yes the wife revival does work on your wife too. And Rosalind. Boom they're alive now (if they still want them to be) woohoo

6. Any final words from you or the fault crew? Hope they had fun too in theory. With all of the scenarios that I put them into anyways.

Thank YOU for answering all of those questions, giving me the opportunity to ask them in the first place and giving me the opportunity to get to know you and your creations better. Sorry if I was ever annoying or uncreative or anything like that. GOOD LUCK!! CONTINUE CREATING BECAUSE WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! FAULT MY BELOVED

I'll probably send asks after that too but maybe not every day. So.. be ready : D

its been an honor

1.Undertale ask. Or the swap one. Very difficult to choose. Brain went brrrr and I had to stop myself from making a whole fic.

2. 15, the one about all the symbolism in that bad boy. And Evil Mole. Also the questions about Ranboo inspired new plot points given I was forced to really interrogate that part. 

3.I did not! Very long time, and like ~150 questions! I was honestly amazed you kept thinking up more and in such different directions. I think at the start it would be in that format of asking about the mcyt characters involved that it was initially, and so figured there’d be five of them. Obviously that was blown out of the water ^-^

4.I thought Niki might come up, but honestly she’s still in the oven so information given would be subject to change. Or potentially the NPCs. 

5.Tubbo: welp we did a whole lotta character growth for no reason! 

But for real though everyone is super stoked about it. Makes getting help from Rosalind’s family easier, plus she can safely get supplies from human civilization without needing to worry about discovery. Probably doesn’t really get rid of 100% all Tubbo angst since they still like made that decision and know that about themselves, but still. Feel like everyone (-tommy) might have some reserves because well Foundation employee, but The Blade remembers how she tried to rescue Tommy and so she’s cool in his books. The Rosalind and Wilbur dynamic would be so complicated between the human + Foundation, but nice? helped? nonthreatening? 

As for Martha. Oh she is so confused and so old. Very lovely lady, but life on the run is not meant for her at all. Not necessarily shocked about all the anomalies since she was less skeptical than Rhodes. Also her husband is now the kid she raised, which is like strange ngl. Freud would have a field day with this one. 

6.They’re mostly relieved with the scenarios, since they tend to be a nice laidback break from the Foundation. Plus the cookies were nice. Nom. 

As for me, thank you for caring so much about the story I’ve poured so much love into! From the start I kinda just intended to throw Fault out into the void to get it out of my head, and the fact little Creetures have decided to gather around a poke it is very warming. Especially having actual conversations, translating abstract numbers into real people. Making it seem real. Like, talking, connecting with someone through it, its very overwhelming in a positive way.

[aspd-culture]

is it an aspd thing to struggle to read (and care about) other people's feelings?

im not incapable, but honestly, reading other people's feelings/emotions takes a lot of effort and the majority of the time i dont care enough to even try. today my friend called me a psychopath and told me i am "ruining the vibe and flow" because other people's moods/feelings dont have much of an effect on me (other than that i often feel distressed or annoyed by other's expectations that i will respond to their emotions).

i almost feel like everyone else is trying to manipulate me by expecting me to read into their voices, faces, gestures, etc. instead of just saying what theyre thinking/feeling. it seems kinda like im socially expected to try to read/understand other people's emotions but honestly Its Dumb And I Dont Want To. i only try to do it for this specific friend because it benefits me to keep him around.

sorry for the ramble lmao, just looking to see if you/anyone relates and/or if this is an aspd thing

It most certainly is. This is a lack of empathy (specifically affective empathy) which is part of ASPD criteria. Prosocials (aka people without ASPD/the vast majority of the population) are mostly able to read and in fact are affected by other people's emotions by instinct. They don't need to do any work or think about it the way we do (using cognitive empathy and memorizing presentations of emotions), it just happens naturally.

While it is not our fault we can't read them by instinct, it is abnormal to them and, therefore, often causes problems between prosocial and antisocial people. They don't see it as work, their brain just does it, so they think we are intentionally disregarding their emotions.

Part of the process of understanding and accepting your ASPD is finding people you can unmask with. Yes, faking affective empathy by constantly reading everyone's emotions is a type of masking, and it does cause burnout if you do it too frequently or for too long without breaks. There are people who will be understanding and non-judgemental about it, you just need to find them. It's worth mentioning that you don't have to come out as having ASPD to talk about this issue, as decreased empathy is also a symptom of multiple other disorders - most frequently, it can be present in autism - so if they wouldn't be accepting you can approach it without discussing ASPD directly.

If, even after it's understood that this is something you cannot control, ableist terms like the one you mentioned are still being thrown at you and these people aren't understanding, then they aren't truly your friends. Friends don't distress others' mental health until they burn out just to make themselves comfortable. It may very well be necessary to decrease or entirely remove these people's place in your life.

Of course, it is your life and you should make decisions based on what you want and how you feel about the situation. I'm not any sort of authority, this is just my advice, so ymmv. Good luck, regardless of what you choose to do about the situation.