#sorry for yet another post about this its just compelling to me

[memecatwings]

rand spending the whole book jealous of egwene and wanting to be involved with what her and the girls are doing and then finding out he too can access the one power like them but doing so will kill him. transgender allegory moment let her transition

[vesicapiscean]

i just read through 3d workers island. I was going to post this onr eddit but it was immediately removed so im going to post it here. its really long sorry, feel free to not even read it. eventualyl ill post it somewhere else and expand more on it.

I just finished reading through 3dwiscr for the first time. I actually read it twice, and took notes on the second read through. There are a few things I find compelling about this work, and I haven't read almost any other theories so I just want to dump my thoughts before I read more about what others think.

The first thing that I find important to mention is the "Computer Philosophy" pages. It's a confusing read, and I'm not certain that that geocities site has any direct relevance to 3dwi, besides the content written in it relating to what we are seeing on screen. The "window" talked about on Computer Philosophy is the monitor (we do see this work through the lens of windows 95), and the author talks about how we can see into the window, as well as be seen through the window. You never know who's watching, and you never know what you might see. They talk about how you can bring the inside (fiction) into the outisde (reality), and they may be interchangeable. This read to me as something like; "you can look into reality through fiction". I believe that is what is happening in 3dwi, and others have likely come to this same conclusion. At the end, the author briefly mentions how you may look through the window and see "something bad you're responsible for", yet you do nothing to stop it because it's "not real". Curious. I also noticed that the image at the bottom of the Computer Philosophy page depicts a red object and a green object, transitioning from being a flat, 2d image on a computer monitor, to being a 3d image on the screen, to then being a 3d image outside of the monitor. This imagery directly relates to the Snopes ratings screenshot posted by PLawler, which is accompanied by the rating "multiple truth values". Could more than one thing be true?

I think it's easy to assume that PLawler is Pat in the screensaver. I also believe that it is Pat who is responsible for creating the 3dwi, and she gets a satisfaction from exposing others to it. I think she is purposefully creating the narrative that there is nothing weird going on; no faces, and no sounds in 3dwi to encourage people to keep watching and be shocked by what they see. However, there is allusion to the idea that 3dwi sources information about the viewer from what can be found on the computer it's running on. So it's possible that Pat is clean, and she genuinely doesn't see or believe what other people have reported. She does keep 3dwi running on as many screens in her home as possible, and finds it pleasant to tune in to. Pat in 3dwi is also shown messing around with a laptop that has an image of Earth on it, aka "WORLD", aka "reality".

PLawler/Pat expresses her disdain for Amber more than once. She calls her lazy, despite Amber being shown mowing the lawn and walking around. PLawler also chastises another poster on the forums for doing their child's homework for them. This to me is another accusation against children for not working hard enough. This, I feel, reinforces the idea that PLawler/Pat is the perpetrator of Amber's mistreatment. PL does admit an attraction to Rebecca, which I think is also depicted in the scene where Pat and Rebecca are shown clipping together in odd movement. In 3dwi, Pat is seen coming in between Amber and Holland when Amber approaches Holland (I'm assuming to engage in some sort of play). She stands ominously between them, despite them ostensibly being close in age and sibilings. Pat is also shown scolding or somehow reprimanding Amber behind the house. It seems as if Amber is being intentionally isolated from Holland. It is questionable why PL would relate so much to Pat.

Onto Amber. She doesn't seem to be able to interact with her fellow workers in the way she would like to. She is interrupted by Pat when approaching Holland in the sand. In one scene she is seated with Holland and reaches out to him, but Holland runs away back into the house. She is seated at the table with Joe and Holland in one scene, but Joe gets up and leaves, and Amber and Holland don't interact at all. Another poster refers to Amber being "slow" and "tired", and her mistreatment by the other characters. One claim on the Inside3dwi website says that she becomes redder and redder, eventually slowing down and "crawling", before turning into a red ball and being ignored by everyone else on screen.

Amber is a fan favorite. When asked, everyone in the forum agreed that amber was their favorite, but it was also implied that talking about Amber being the favorite was a risky topic. Reality Priest says "I'm not going to pretend my favorite character is Holland or Grace just so things can stay clean...". This comment ties in to what is revealed on the Inside3dwi site, wherein we are told that certain events involving amber will trigger events depicting images of a real human girl. These events occur after what is called a "JPR pin" where the three adults corner Amber. This is all alluding to something I would prefer not to talk about, but good grief and alas.

I think the reason that so many people (one poster refers to them as "freaks") like Amber is because of the ... media ... that appears regarding her. I think they are intentionally seeking out this type of stuff, and that's why they love Amber. There are no degenerative states involving the other characters, and there is no "JPR pin" triggered events for Holland or Grace. In fact, Holland and Grace are hardly mentioned at all. These so-called "Amber shitheads" are deemed responsible for shutting down the discovery pages according to the IM sequences. This thought leads me to another, which is that 3dwi works off information from the computer it's running on. Perhaps many people in this forum have questionable hard drives and are thereby shown the more extreme secrets behind the screensaver. Why else would their favorite character be Amber after seeing all the disturbing things this screensaver has to offer regarding her?

Holland is interesting, because she is not given much attention through the forums, but she displays some concerning behaviors in 3dwi. She is shown with a toy rabbit, often falling or laying down, and at one point is walking into a wall. In another scene, Holland is shown standing in a "diamond" pattern with Joe, Rebecca, and Grace. Concerningly, Holland is shown to bend over and turn away from the group she is with. I found that to be distasteful, and perhaps indicative of some learned behaviors from what Holland has been exposed to. I'm not sure what to make of the scene where Holland brings the blue lamp out of the house, so I'll leave it at that.

The last character I'd like to dive into is GoodKid. I fully believe this poster is not actually a "14 year old teenaged kid". I'm closer to believing that GoodKid is actually Rebecca or Grace, but I lean away from them being Grace because according to Inside3dwi, "Grace's Guilt" is a recognizable aspect of her character, and I don't feel that she would be unabashedly posting on the forum. The term "sweet angelic mommy" is dubious, and seems to be an attempt at flattery. To who, I'm not sure. They mention getting in trouble for "dress code violations", which to me reads as "dressed inappropriately for a school setting". The most often dress code violations at school are shorts/skirts/dresses that are too short, or graphic tees with unsavory messaging. I'll leave it at that.

I believe that GoodKid is the one who wrote Inside3dwi. The posts there are signed with "-GKey", which is similar to GoodKid - same initials. Both GoodKid and GKey seem intent on exposing the truth about Plawler and 3dwi in general. GoodKid is banned on the forums as well as discussion about the Inside3dwi website. GKey also mentions having a brother, which I thought was interesting as the first forum post we see, from Mawgirl, mentions having a brother as well. And that first post is the only post we see from Mawgirl. There may be overlap with members of the forum and people submitting posts to Inside3dwi, perhaps even double accounts. I noticed as well that NedHucker suggests to "be cool" and 3dwi will reveal more to you. The poster whose username is ImCool says "Amber motherfucker" in the thread about favorite characters, and then later on Inside3dwi someone called JaketheMadCow ends his post with "there's sound mother fucker". Could NedHucker, ImCool, and JaketheMadCow all be the same person? Maybe I'm reaching too much.

There are more connections between the various posters, such as 12pt having an icon of a creepy looking face that seems like it might fit into 3dwi with the "details" setting toggled up higher, and there are mentions of "strange faces" on Inside3dwi. Another submission on Inside3dwi is attributed to FallingIntoAsphalt, which is the only other reference to the Computer Philosophy page found in this 3dwi universe. User Jomsom relates another posters story about their child being afraid of 3dwi to a movie wherein a character gets trapped in a cartoon, which reminds me of another post on Inside3dwi by Thomas, in which Thomas is convinced everything that's happening on screen is all in his head.

Who is Jonn Sorroway? What are "stories of reality"? Who is Sam Ferraro?

I've lost the plot at this point in writing this post, so I'm just going to post it and hope for some interaction becasue I'd really like to work out some of the kinks with people who have also taken the time to dive into this project. Another Amazing story from Domenico.

[shreddeddescent]

OKAY!!!!

okay. so. i want to share this for anyone who is like.... cool about this worst case scenario bullshit i keep talking about. i think im writing it kinda good or at least in a compelling way, and honestlyyyy i just wanna post shit to be like hey. im having fun with it, and i think its really interesting to see how it all turns out. i think its been fun every other time ive posted about it, you guys seem to like it, but this is the part that will come off the most weird. if you dont know, ive tagged all previous things in this timeline as #wcs (worst case scenario)

so i think yall get this is like. the fucked up timeline. but like that its the going to be okay timeline too.

to explain more about it if you dont know, lets just say like. shredder did the fucked up thing he wanted. i think ive made that clear in previous posts about this. shredders dead now. they had to deal with the consequences of what he did to them. if the implications of that squick you out its totally fine. if youre not sure what i mean, im sorry. you DO NOT need to read further. but theres nothing specific about it here, this is just alllll the result of that. the results will be made clear by the end.

they went to big mama's hotel to get help from her with said consequences. its been dealt with. theyre now just recovering, being normal kids, still going to therapy. they're coping. but big mama's help always comes with a cost, but they havent figured out what that cost was yet.

so like. its been fun to explore in writing. IF YOURE WILLING to hear me out about all the fucked up shit turning out okay, feel free to read further. even if it sounds weird. i hope everyone can just be like.... respectful.

this doesnt have to be canon to the rest of my au, but if youve enjoyed it when ive talked about it....this is a big reveal shit for that timeline. if you are cool about everything im implying so far.

if youre not, again, you dont have to read forward. this isnt mature rated or anything, its just the implications of what the characters have been through are dark.

but the characters are going to be okay. and this right here is the reason they will be.

okay? okay. please be fucking nice.

missing context would be: raph saw someone in their room the night before, but he thinks he made it up. donnie also saw what he thinks was a ghost.

they went out for breakfast, and raph saw a turtle yokai he couldnt help but chase to the elevator who said her name was jennika, but she really wouldnt look him in the eye. and then they all discussed whether shredder had another experiment done before they existed.

questioning their origins, donnie and mikey scout the pool for recon as leo and raph come back from their joint therapy session with big mama.

--

The elevator door opened and they stepped out into the pool area. It seemed to be a rooftop pool, but the elevator had felt like it was going down. The view was the highest they’d seen, and yet the air was warmer than it had been in their room. And there was no wind, unlike their room.

They looked around and spotted their brothers, Donnie was sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet in, looking at his phone, while Mikey was doing laps.

Leo grabbed Raph’s arm and the two of them wandered over.

“Hey guys.” He said. “How’s the mission going?”

Donnie looked up and looked around. “No other turtles spotted here.”

Mikey jumped out of the water with a splash. “Yeah, just old people really. I don’t think they liked us.”

“You were doing cannonballs, that's why.”

Raph wandered over to the edge of the roof, resting his hands on the railing and staring out at the city. It was so high. Higher than fathers tower was. In fact he could see Foot Tower in the distance, dwarfed by this view.

He was above it. He was beyond it. But god were they ever high.

He felt Leo walk up behind him. “I hate this view.”

He sighed and nodded. “I’m surprised I don’t feel sick. I hate heights.”

He felt him step beside him and press his shoulder against his. “I know what you mean… it’s like it’s not a real height. There’s none of that wind whipping in your face. Like a big realistic dome with a view.”

Raph nodded, squinting out at the view. “The feeling of the window was freezing.. like ice. And here there’s no wind at all.”

“Me and Slash got Big Mama to tell us there’s some kind of cross dimensional portals between the floors.. that there’s protection magic around the floors. I wonder if something broke the one by our window.”

Raph tapped his fingers against the railing.

“Maybe…”

“You okay..?”

He looked up at him nervously.

“I’m… scared, honestly.. and I’m not sure why.”

Leo smiled down at him. “We’re gonna be okay. We got this, partner.” He held out his fist for a bump.

Raph ignored it to give him a tight hug.

Leo rubbed his back lightly and looked back over at the twins.

“Should we get the raisins out of here? Or do you want more recon?”

Raph sighed and let go. “I think I’d like to stay out of the room for a while. Try and relax.”

“Didn’t bring a bathing suit. Mikeys got those shorts, but you’re wearing jeans.”

Raph shook his head and looked around at what other yokai were wearing. Some were in bathing suits, others looked more naked from what he could tell.

He wasn’t sure if he was comfortable being naked though, shell or not.

“Maybe I’ll just sit.” He said as he spotted a lounge chair to the side.

Leo walked past him to go talk to the twins again and he watched them. He felt like a mom again. Out with her kids. At least he didn’t look like Splinter this time. Bathrobe and all.

It was about noon and the sun was shining, so it was getting busier the longer they stayed out here. But he just sat in the warm sun and let himself feel calm, he watched Mikey try and splash Donnie to coax him in, watched Leo strip down to his sweatpants to wrestle with their baby brother in the pool.

At some point Donnie wandered over to hand him his electronics and he smiled at him.

“You wanna get in?” Raph asked him, surprised.

He shrugged. “Might as well live in the moment for once. It is a nice day, and we’re not too weird here.”

“You want me to help you with your braces?”

“Nah, I’ll need them. I don’t care if they get wet.” He pulled his hoodie off and Raph stared at him. He never went anywhere without something on his chest.

He was surprised how weird it felt to see him like that in public. Donnie was somewhat round like Raph, but had more masculine features, for a turtle. But no muscle definition. Even in the cage he’d been wearing his hoodie. But he was feeling more free right now. Maybe this place was good for them.

Donnie pointed at his phone and headphones.

“If you don’t wanna join, you can like... Read or listen to music. There’s free wifi here.”

Raph hummed and put the headphones on.

“Thanks Donnie…”

He shrugged and made his way into the pool to try doing laps. Which for him was holding the edge the whole time.

Raph eyed the phone and looked through his music. Not much he recognized. He found Queen though, and decided to play that and close his eyes. Letting himself be a turtle basking in the sunlight for about 20 minutes.

He sensed someone sit near him and opened his eyes.

A tall furry lion Yokai was in his sunlight, looking down at him.

And suddenly he felt uncomfortable.

They seemed to be talking to him so he pulled the headphones off.

“Huh?”

“I said kinda a weird look for the pool. The jeans.”

Raph looked down at himself and back up.

“Yeah. Wasn’t planning on coming to the pool.”

He gestured over to his brothers with his head.

“Those your kids?”

Raph furrowed his brows and looked over at his brothers. They seemed to be having fun splashing each other.

“Kinda, yeah?”

“Huh. That one your… husband?”

Raph felt his face flush as he looked over at Leo.

“No, that’s my brother.”

He raised his brows and smirked. “So you’re a single mom?”

‘Female female female!’

His body felt cold despite the heat from the sun.

“Sorry, bet they dragged you out here without a bathing suit. Shame, you look like you’ve got a good figure…”

‘You’re going to get assaulted again!’

His heart was pounding in his chest. He looked in Leo’s direction desperately, needing someone to help him.

“Hey kid.” A deep familiar voice behind him said as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

The lion looked over him nervously.

Raph watched as the backside of a tall muscular turtle stepped into view, shielding him from the Lion’s gaze. They were wearing flowery swim trunks.

“That’s my son you’re talking to. He’s 17. Do I need to call security?” The voice said angrily. “Or are you gonna fuck off?”

Raph tried to quiet his beating heart. He felt like he might throw up. He felt like Slash might jump out.

And yet… This turtle made him feel safe.

“U-uh no problem man! My bad!” The lion quickly rose up and left. And the turtle took the chair and sat down beside him.

Raph looked at him nervously.

Broad shouldered and maybe 30 years old, his skin was a dull light green, his plastron wide and pointier than Raph had ever seen. Thick legs and strong arms. He looked tired but smiled warmly at him with wide, kind eyes.

“Are you okay?”

Raph stared at him nervously, pressing his hand to his chest.

“I-I might be having a panic attack…” he said softly.

The turtle reached out to offer his hand.

“You want me to count for breathing?”

Raph nodded quickly, taking his hand.

“In one two three four… out one two three four...”

He closed his eyes and followed the turtle's instructions. After a few minutes he felt okay again and stared down at the hand in his.

Two fingers. Their hands were so similar, but his were much larger.

He looked up at his face. He’d seen those eyes.

In the dark.

“It’s.. it’s you.”

He grunted softly in affirmation.

“You keep trying to get into trouble.”

Raph stared at him hard. He wanted to look away but he was terrified the man would disappear.

“What.. What's your name?”

“Kirby.”

“W-why are you following me? Why were you…”

“I just said you keep getting into trouble.”

Raph felt his eyes water as he stared at him.

“I-I’m not trying to, I thought I could just… be out in public, but I guess I’m too much of a s-slut…”

Kirby winced and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and holding Raph's hand in both of his, staring at him so kindly.

“You’re not. People always want to take advantage of you. I’m sorry, it’s not fair.”

“W-why do you know that..? W-who are you..?”

He shook his head. “Just someone who cares.”

“D-do you know Jennika..?”

He laughed. A familiar laugh. “Yeah. We know each other.”

“Why… why did she cry when she looked at me?”

He shrugged. “She’s got complicated feelings. Hard to explain.”

“I-I’m not scared of you. I should be, I don’t know you…”

“You kinda know me though.” He said, a weird glint in his eye.

Raph grunted and stared at him frustrated. “Why are you so vague and annoying?”

He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t know. Ah. Leo’s noticed. You should be fine now.” He pulled away from his grasped hand.

“Hey!” They heard Leo yell from the edge of the pool.

Raph didn’t turn. He watched Kirby bolt up and give him a salute before disappearing into the crowd, he presumed to the elevator.

Raph just stared blankly at the space he’d been.

Leo sat in front of him, dripping wet and waving his hand in front of his face.

“Are you okay?! Did he hurt you?!”

Raph looked up at him and shook his head slowly. “No… h-he… uh, saved me..? There was.. a guy trying to…” he closed his eyes and winced. “He saved me.” He looked back at Leo, who looked worried.

“What did he say? Did you get anything out of him?”

Raph rolled onto his back and stared at the pool.

“His name’s Kirby. He says I keep getting into trouble. He pretended he was my dad to make a guy leave… I.. I felt really safe.”

Leo groaned and lay back on the chair. “What the hell is going on…?”

“I-I didn’t want him to leave..” he whispered and held himself. His heart hurt.

Leo looked at him sadly. “Raph..?”

“I-I knew him… h-he said I knew him…”

Leo frowned and rubbed his neck. “Maybe it’s like.. You said he pretended to be your dad. Maybe it’s not pretend. Maybe he’s our real dad. Maybe he’s our dad, and Jennika’s our mom and that’s where we really came from.”

Raph looked up at him. “Jennika wasn’t female… she.. she had a plastron like you, not me. Her tail was long. A-and dad.. dad was so clear our human stuff is his… They couldn’t have made us.”

He sighed. “Let’s just imagine we get to come from somewhere better though, yeah..?”

He looked up at him sadly and nodded.

“O-okay…”

“Do you want to go back to the room..? Cuz we can go…”

He looked over at the twins and saw they were just splashing each other. It looked fun.

“I.. I wanna join, but…” he looked down at himself. He couldn’t swim in these jeans. It was naked or nothing. And he couldn’t do naked.

Leo smiled and bumped his shoulder.

“Trade pants. These are fine.”

Raph blinked and shook his head.

“Then you’ll be in wet jeans…”

“Eh, it’ll dry.” He picked up a rolled towel from a rack nearby and held it up in front of Raph as a privacy barrier.

“C'mon, you go have fun for a minute.”

He groaned and relented, unzipping his jeans and pulling them off. Leo dropped the towel on his lap for privacy and quickly undid his wet sweatpants and passed them to him. Raph put them on, they were a little snug and too long but it was stretchier than the jeans. Leo put the jeans on and smiled.

“See? Easy. I’ll watch the stuff, you go swim.”

Raph eyed him nervously and unzipped his hoodie.

He wondered if Yokai had weird gender rules even without nipples.

He tried not to let it bother him, Leo was being nice and it would be a waste to make him do all that and then just chicken out.

He tossed the hoodie on the pile and decided to jump in.

He let himself float on his stomach for a while, feeling the refreshing water and the sun on his back. He probably looked like a corpse.

He felt someone jump on him and whipped around, seeing Mikey had decided to clamber on his back.

“Raph’s here!” He cheered and hugged him.

Raph laughed a little and shoved him off. “Careful, I’m not that strong a swimmer.”

He looked around. Leo waved at him from the lounge chair.

Someone splashed him and he turned, seeing Donnie holding on to the side of the pool.

Raph beamed. “Oh? We’re doing a splash off now?”

Donnie yelped and started swimming away.

Raph laughed and chased after him, Mikey was cheering from the center of the pool.

“You can escape Donnie! Kick those legs!”

Raph caught up and waved his arm at him, causing a big splash to hit him in the face.

“Nooooo!” He cried dramatically and pretended to sink.

Raph laughed and dove under water, grabbing him around his middle and standing up straight in the shallow end to carry him over his shoulder.

“I caught you!”

Donnie shrieked and laughed, pounding on the back of his shell. “Stoooop!”

“I’ll save you!” Mikey rammed into Raph who dramatically threw Donnie into the deep end.”

And then Donnie didn’t come back up for too long.

“Shit.” Raph dove down and saw him sinking, he grabbed his arm and swam up, dragging him back to the shallow end of the pool and stood holding him up.

He was sputtering and struggling to breathe.

Raph held him against his chest and climbed out of the pool with him and patted him on his back.

“Cough it up, you’re okay.” Raph tried. He was trying not to freak out and placed him on the ground to sit.

He was still wheezing

Someone touched his shoulder and he turned to see a sweet turtle face smiling sadly at him. “I can help.” She said as she pushed him out of the way and waved her hand in front of Donnie’s chest.

She was gaunt. Her arms and knees were wrapped in some kind of bandages, and she was wearing a strange one piece swimsuit on top that fit around her shell. The shell looked too big for her body, slightly off center.

She waved her two fingered hand from chest up to his nose, and a floating bubble of water came out of Donnie’s mouth and then dissipated on the ground.

Donnie stared at her in awe. “W-water bending?” He was panting and taking croaky breaths.

She laughed a little and smiled, confused.

“I don’t know what that means. Simple magic. Are you okay?”

Donnie was clapping himself on the plastron, trying to breathe without croaking. She rubbed his shoulder.

Raph looked between them. Their skin was the same deep blue green. She looked like she could be his older sister.

“I-I think I’m okay…” he glared up at Raph. “Why would you throw me in the deep end?!”

He kept staring at the woman.

She turned to look at him and gave him a sad smile. “His knees aren’t strong enough to keep himself afloat. Maybe with some practice.”

He kept staring at her. She was his height, and much thinner. But she had the same flat plastron and short tail.

“…how do you know that?” He asked.

She laughed sadly and looked down at her own limbs. “Experience.”

Raph looked down and realized that her feet weren’t actually on the ground. She was hovering 2 inches above it.

Donnie seemed to follow his gaze and his eyes went wide.

“Are.. you the ghost?” He asked quietly.

She turned to look down at him and rolled her eyes. “Do I look like a ghost? I’m quite corporeal.”

Donnie looked up at her frustratedly. “You know what I’m talking about.”

She tapped her chin in thought. “Do I?”

He groaned.

Raph put his hand on her arm gently.

“I.. I know you…” he said quietly.

She turned to look back at him with sad eyes.

“We’ve never met. I’m Venus.”

“I’ve… never met another female turtle…” he couldn’t help but say.

She tilted her head sadly. “No.. I guess you haven’t.”

“I-I’m sorry…” he said suddenly.

He didn’t know why he was sorry.

She laughed a little. “You don’t have to be sorry, it’s not bad to be female.” Then her eyes got sad. “But I guess that’s to be expected…”

Donnie shot up and stepped between them.

“How are you floating? Is that like something you were born with or can you learn? Does it help with weight distribution? Is that why you do it? If I could do that I bet it would help. Oh but then you wouldn’t be exercising your knees…”

She blinked and sighed playfully, placing a hand on her hip. “You are too inquisitive.”

Raph stared between them. They had the same snout. The same smug look on their faces.

“Venus…” he said softly.

She turned to look at him. She saw something in his eye and winced, looking away.

“Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay, kid. Don’t go swimming where you can’t stand up, and keep a brother with you at all times in the water!” She saluted and seemed to float away.

Raph wanted to chase her but he just… let her go.

Donnie groaned and looked at him funny. “She could have taught me magic! Bones don’t hurt magic!”

Raph looked down at him sadly, he knew there were tears in his eyes and Donnie’s expression confirmed it.

“Raph what’s wrong..?”

“Sh-she looked just like you…”

He scoffed and folded his arms. “Hardly. She was thin and agile.”

He shook his head and reached out to touch Donnie’s snout. “She had your snout.. your skin.”

Donnie was looking more nervous as Raph looked at him. He pushed Raph’s hand off him. “She can’t have been my mother. Shredder would have seen her as useless damaged goods. Maybe there’s just.. turtle yokai out there who come in such variety that she somewhat looked like me.”

Raph rubbed his arm. He was right, if she was chronically in pain like Donnie, and small and female like Raph… she would have been dead to their father.

“You’re not sure though…” Raph said. Donnie was making a face.

He sighed. “Hereditary illnesses are a thing, I suppose. But I don’t think she was old enough… unless she was… you know, younger than us when it happened.”

“Which Shredder would never have done, obviously..” Raph rolled his eyes and hugged his arms, turning away.

“Sorry…” Donnie mumbled.

He sighed and looked over. “I’m sorry I threw you in the deep end, I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking ‘don’t let him crack his head’ more than I was thinking ‘he needs to hold on to the edge to stay up’.”

Donnie shrugged and leaned against him. “I get it. We’re not used to pools and stuff. Thanks for jumping in after me.”

Raph smiled and rubbed his back. “I mean it would be shitty of me to let you drown don’t you think?”

Donnie grunted and nodded. “Extremely shitty cuz it would have been your fault yeah. Still. Thank you.”

“Are you as done with pool time as I am?”

“Yeeees..” He whined. “Need to recharge.”

Raph laughed and nodded, giving his head a kiss. “Okay.”

They wandered back over to Leo and towelled themselves off, Leo stared up at them questioningly. “How did the recon go? I hope that was what the FAKE drowning was?”

Donnie rolled his eyes as he was letting Raph rub his back dry so he could put his hoodie back on.

“Unfortunately that was a real almost drowning. I am fine, thank you for asking.”

Leo winced and stood up. “Shit, sorry. Are you okay?”

“Fine. She literally water bended the pool water out of my throat. And she was FLOATING! Did you see that?” He couldn’t contain his excitement.

Raph pat his shoulder and decided he should collect Mikey while Donnie got him up to speed.

He turned to the pool and didn’t see him.

Mama turtle went in overdrive.

“Mikey?” He called out, darting between people in the crowd.

The more he looked the more worried he got.

‘Idiot, you almost kill ONE brother and LOSE the other?’

He groaned and smacked his head. “Shut up Slash.”

That was new but he couldn’t blame him.

He did a lap around the pool and saw the backside of a turtle behind the bar to the side. He rushed over and realized this turtle was bigger than him.

“Jennika.” He breathed.

She turned in surprise and he could see Mikey behind her, smiling up at him.

“Oh, hi Raph!”

He whimpered and rushed forward, ignoring her to grab him around his shoulders.

“Where did you go! I was worried!”

He grabbed his arms and pushed him back.

“I’m fine! I made a friend, see?” He held his hand out to Jennika, who was standing awkwardly beside them. She was wearing a big white t shirt and baggy trunks.

“Sorry, you… guys were distracted and I wanted to make sure he was safe somewhere…” she barely looked at him.

That hurt for some reason.

“Thanks…” he stood back up, keeping his hand on Mikey’s shoulder to make sure he knew where he was. “I.. sorry, I shouldn’t.. assume things but. You’re… not female like me, are you..?”

She blinked and shook her head. “Uh… no. I used to be… sad. About that.”

A new emotion came over him and he gave her a look of awe.

“Are you… trans..?”

She gave him a surprised look. “Is that… okay?”

Raph could feel his eyes water but he smiled big. “I… I’ve never met a.. I mean, you’re a turtle like me, and you’re.. trans too! A-and that.. makes me happy, I-I don’t know.. sorry, I’m not… not trying to be weird.”

She smiled and shook her head, her eyes were wet too.

“No, it’s not weird, I really get it…” she rubbed her arm. “I didn’t know uh…” she coughed and shook her head. “No, I guess I’d always hoped you were. I didn’t understand myself.”

Raph was confused by her words but kept smiling at her.

“You’re beautiful.” He told her. He didn’t know why he felt the need to tell her that. It was overwhelming seeing someone like him out in the world.

She stared at him with a shocked smile. Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“O-oh…” she sniffed and then laughed, rubbing her eyes. “F-fuck, can I hug you? Th-this is a lot but..”

Raph reached in instantly to wrap his arms around her. He just wanted to make her feel as happy as he felt seeing her. She was taller than him and thicker up top, but she was just a beautiful turtle girl to him.

She seemed to be crying above him as she held him back.

Mikey wandered over and smiled up at her. “See, she’s a friend Raph!”

The two of them parted and Jennika got down on her knee to idly punch his shoulder.

“You’re a good judge of character, but you still shouldn’t run off with people. Not here. There’s bad guys here. Only trust turtles, got that little man?”

He made a determined face and nodded. “Got it.”

Jennika then leaned in to hug Mikey. It looked like a bone crushing hug. Mikey just took it and tried to hug her back just as strongly.

Raph looked between them. They looked.. so similar. She looked like if Mikey had been well loved as a child and grown up strong.

The idea was making him cry again.

“Jennika!” They heard a voice call out.

Raph looked over and saw Kirby again. He was standing by the elevator and waving her over, he looked frustrated to see Raph again, and maybe a little sad.

Jennika looked up and wiped her eyes. “Shit. That’s my brother, he’s gonna give me a talking to…” She muttered slightly annoyed.

Raphs eyes snapped up at her. “Kirby’s your brother?”

She winced and rubbed her neck. “Uh, it’s been nice talking!”

She shuffled away.

Raph was shaking suddenly.

“W-wait!” He started to run but they both looked at him inside the elevator with a sorrowful look and then disappeared.

And he dropped to his knees.

Mikey put his hands on his shoulders. “Raph? What’s wrong? Is it the voices again?”

But his head was silent, save for a ringing in his ears. He stared at the elevator blankly. It opened again and they weren’t there anymore.

He wasn’t sure how long he was staring, he knew Donnie and Leo had wandered up holding all of their stuff, and it took the three of them to lift him off the ground.

“What happened, Raph?” Leo asked gently as they walked his body towards the elevator.

He just stared inside. He hoped to god they’d just reappear and let him ask the burning question on his mind.

He couldn’t say this out loud until he knew.

The elevator door closed and it was just him and his brothers again.

‘You’re right.’

He whipped his head around to look, but realized the voice was Slash again.

“W-what do you mean I’m right?!”

His brothers looked at him funny but he paid them no mind.

‘You know who they are. And you’re right. Big Mama told me the first time you let me out, she wasn’t gonna crush the eggs. She said we’d never see them again. She lied.’

“B-but that makes no sense Slash! Th-they’re too old! I-it’s been a week!”

‘I don’t know. But you know that’s who they are.’

Raph slammed his head against the wall and shook it hard.

“N-no!”

Leo grabbed his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “Raph. Talk to me. What happened?”

Raph looked around the elevator in a panic. Mikey and Donnie looked scared of him, scared of what was happening.

“I-I… not here… I-in the room..”

He didn’t want anyone's secret eyes on him right now. He couldn’t trust Big Mama. Leo was right. Why had they bothered to talk to her at all today? They were better off on their own!

The door opened on their floor and they quickly rushed back inside their freshly cleaned room. Raph checked every room, every cranny. The windows were closed and no one was hiding in the corners.

After his panicked rushing he sat on the freshly cleaned sofa and tried to calm his breathing.

His brothers all stood in front of him in the conversation pit. None of them wanted him out of sight.

“Raph.” Leo said sternly. He looked up and saw them all staring at him with worried eyes.

He looked between them. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “It won’t make sense. But nothing here does. There’s.. magic and portals and dimensional travel…”

“At this point no theory is too out there.” Donnie said.

He opened his eyes and looked at them all seriously.

“They’re our kids.”

[rin-vana]

⠀⠀⠀⠀───◌┈┈─── ♡ 𝇄 𝇃 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 ┋ 𝐅𝐓. 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐙𝐇𝐔

⎯⎯ ( 𝙋𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎 ) : Baizhu x Reader

⎯⎯ ( 𝙎𝙔𝙉𝙊𝙋𝙎𝙄𝙎 ) : Baizhu insists on working before giving his wife what she want, so instead of putting up a fight, she motivates him in her own way.

⎯⎯ ( 𝘾.𝙒. ) : Established relationship, oral (male receiving), cum swapping, Baizhu is a little stubborn, reader is pushy but in a loving way, messy blowjob, humilitation on Baizhu's end, subby Baizhu elements, use of nicknames: love, darling, my everything, as always black reader, a drabble

⎯⎯ ( 𝙒.𝘾. ) : 1,764

⎯⎯ ( 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀𝙎 ) : I fr drop fics n disappear. Lol this was supposed to be posted when his banner came out but I didn't really sit down n write it but here yall go

”Just a moment my love, almost done with this remedy. Then you'll have my attention, I promise.”

You've heard that multiple times by now. Repeating over and over from Baizhu's mouth who tirelessly continues to work at his desk, writing off whatever it was on multiple scrolls and papers. It concerned you none, in fact you could care less about its importance. Baizhu had a habit of pushing himself beyond his limits, even though his illness was so evident after doing so. You pained for him.

”Hon, you've been sitting here all day. Get up, give yourself a breather.”

Your tone had been assertive, standing right beside his chair with a hand placed on your hip. And yet he didn't budge at all, hardly sparing you a glance as his eyes frantically shifted, following his hands that never stopped writing. ”Please, love. I'll finish this last paper.”

Baizhu himself sounded more agitated with your pleading of getting him to stop, but no matter how annoyed your husband got, you knew what was better for him and his sickness, and that was taking a much needed break. Hell, even the sun has departed from its responsibilities of keeping Teyvat lit for the day.

All you could do was scoff at him. Truly you loved how devoted he was to his craft, and helping Liyue in any way he can, but it was irritating how you hardly spoke to your own lover. Placing your hand on his shoulder, you try to soothe the tension building up in his muscles from sitting up-right, and to further convince him in your own way.

”Baizhu, darling, get up and come to bed with me.”

The sage haired male felt compelled to sigh, finally placing the pen down onto the wooden surface. Your satisfaction began to grow when he finally turned to you, albeit still sitting, and wrapped an arm around your waist. His other hand trailed to the one placed onto his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before he brought your hand to his lips. He placed the most delicate of kisses upon your soft skin, yet his eyes looked ever so regretful.

”I'm sorry, my love.. but allow me to finish this last prescription, please?”

A long winded sigh was drawn from your lips, not knowing just how stubborn your lover could be up until now. All you did was mutter out a small "fine," detaching yourself from his arms and walking away from where he sat. Baizhu may have looked regretful, but he still had responsibilities to complete, and then he'd give you all the time in the world afterwards.

But you, you had another idea in mind. A much more convincing way to pull him out of his work trance. Wordlessly you got on your knees, pushing past Baizhu's right leg to successfully get yourself under his desk. This certainly did grab his attention, for he pushed back from the wooden surface to get a better look at you, eyebrow raised and all. ”My love, what.. are you doing?”

”Just go back to working.”

Still confused, he followed your order and scooted himself closer to his desk yet again, his legs being directly in front of you. You began sliding your hands up his legs until you reached his knees, pushing them apart. It elicited quite the surprised yelp from your lover.

” [ Name ]—!” He dropped his pen as he called out your name, leaning back in his chair to get a better look at you, but you still refused to reply to him. All you did was grant him a single glance through your lashes, your hands rising higher until you reached the hem of his pants. It was there that Baizhu grabbed your wrist in an attempt to stop you, lips fumbling to get any sort of words out.

”My love, m–my everything, I told you I'd—”

”No no, you need to finish your work. I get it. So, let me motivate you a little, 'kay?”

It took him a few seconds until he nodded, giving into whatever you had in store for him. It wasn't necessarily out of the ordinary for you to act like this when it came to him and his work, but you were demanding in a way that had him feel a throb in between his legs.

You continued with your endeavors seeing him, hesitantly, continue writing. Tugging down the fabric you see a small tent beginning to form in your lover's briefs. Of course you pulled that away as well, the two articles of clothing bunched and pooling at his ankles. Baizhu hissed at his cock hitting the chilled air, setting down his pen with one hand whilst the other covered his mouth.

You raised your brow hearing the scratching of pen against paper stop, looking at him once more. ”Darling, keep working.”

”I can't exactly… do that. Not when you're like this.”

Keeping your eyes locked, you gently took hold of his pretty dick, watching it twitch in your hand. Your body pressed closer into the space between his legs, tilting your head to the side in a form of mockery almost. ”Don't you need to keep working Baizhu?”

You and your games. He couldn't deny what you said, because he's proclaimed the notion over and over again that he just had to finish this prescription. In a way this is his fault, getting you worked up so much that you felt the need to torture him. But at the same time, he is so grateful he did. He couldn't even give you a proper answer, ripping his gaze from yours in a mix of realization and partial humiliation.

Without letting another second pass by, you kiss the tip of his blushed head, lazily stroking the base before taking a few inches in your mouth. Baizhu muffled his sounds with the hand still covering his mouth, trying to finish writing the last few sentences of the night. But your mouth felt so warm and inviting, it made his head all foggy.

It isn't long before you start bobbing your head, feeling his cock poke at your cheek each time with the way you angled yourself. It was Baizhu's favorite way of watching you fuck your own throat, so the fact that he had to choose between writing some meaningless transcripts or using your throat drove him insane. It was evident you didn't care though, a second hand of yours coming to stroke the remaining inches of him you couldn't take in your mouth. It sent your lover over the edge as he tilted his head backwards, glasses slipping off the bridge of his nose as his noises picked up.

He sounded so desperate, damn near whiny. He moved his hand away from his face to find purchase by grabbing the edge of his desk, drool slipping from his lips as he tried so poorly to hold himself back, to not give in and prove your point. But fuck were you good at making him crumble. Your spit coated his cock and created a disgusting slobbering sound that only made Baizhu's thighs shake around your head. ”My love.. slow– slow down..”

He couldn't take it, not with how your pace made heat build up in his lower abdomen. Not with how messy you were being. All Baizhu could do was allow his sighs and pleas echo off the walls, moaning pathetically about archons knows what. Looking up to the view of your husband, you find his hazy eyed stare at the ceiling so cute. It was easy to make Baizhu come undone with your mouth alone, especially since he was so in love with you.

Involuntarily his hips jerked forward, his dick hitting the back of your throat with ease thanks to its impressive length. By then he took his glasses off completely, prescription long forgotten as his hands now held the sides of your head, thumbs caressing your hollowed cheeks.

”I hope you'll allow me-” he started, sounding ever so breathless. ”-To use your throat.”

As much as objecting and torturing him further sounded so pleasing, his dazed expression and deprived sounding voice made you give in. You couldn't let your husband suffer for too long, after all he was working tirelessly to aid Liyue without expecting much in return. So you hummed around him in response, feeling his legs shudder around you yet again as the vibrations nearly made his eyes roll back.

It's sudden when your nose meets the skin of his pelvis, your throat clenching around Baizhu who ended up halfway down the cavern. He lets out a deliciously euphoric moan, lips parting while his eyes become much more lidded at the feeling alone. ”Your throat.. always so warm, so good,” he mumbles under his breath, amber eyes staring into your teary ones as he begins to retract his hips and snap them forward.

As much as he wanted to be gentle with you, you had ways of making him act otherwise. His hips met your face in a brutal way, the head of his cock forcefully making its way down your throat with ease each time he brought himself forward. His moans continued to rise in volume, shades of pink dusting across his face due to his high creeping up on him. Your hands squeezed his bare thighs and it's all it took for him to paint your mouth white, hurriedly pulling his dick out your mouth inch by inch so every part of it was coated in him.

You opened your mouth while looking at him, your mouth and lips having the salty liquid stick to it, and the sight had Baizhu never wanting to look away. With his hands on your face he pulled you upwards, meeting you halfway in the sloppiness kiss you've ever shared, your arms frantically wrapping around his neck. Your fingers reached his hair, and his pressed against the back of your head to seemingly push you further in the vehement kiss. Your tongues tangled and danced, sharing his essence until you pulled away for air.

You and Baizhu looked at each other, breathless and so full of pure need. The sage haired male can't help but to let out a chuckle, slender hands making their way to your waist to have you sit on his lap. It was evident that finishing work can be tomorrow's duty because having you in his arms and your mouth serving him was more fulfilling.

”Let's.. finish this in our bedroom, my love.”

[f1-stuff]

omg that part two snippet of girldad! carlos had me literally screaming, the way you write is just so *chef’s kiss* i can’t wait for the to see what happens next

its gonna be so cute when charles starts speaking french with ana and they both start bonding, carlos already has it down bad for this man but he’s going to be in love love with this man when this happens

the idea of the both of them being dads is just so… compelling, we really need more fics of them being dads and being all domestic

im sorry for this ranty ask but i just got so excited when i saw u posted the snippet, i love that fic so much already

and if you don’t mind, could you post the giver au pls :))

sending you lots of love mal, thank you for everything!! <33

Hi! Do not apologize!! Every fic writer hopes and dreams that ppl will get excited about their fic 😭 and I completely agree - we need more charlos dads. They are literally so married and charles wants a kid so badly...

Anyway yes! You can have a snippet of the Giver AU - i've shared a bit of it before, but essentially, the premise is that society requires everyone to take suppressants to dull their emotions, eliminating pain/conflict/anger/fear etc., but also eliminating passion/love/joy in the process...

I'm thinking of doing a major rewrite of this actually...so honestly what you read here might look very different by the time I post it but 🤷🏻‍♀️

“Hola, teammate.” It’s accompanied by a grin and a nudge to his arm. Charles raises an eyebrow.

“Hello, again.”

They’d seen each other not forty-five minutes ago, but Carlos seems to insist on greeting everyone like it’s the first time that day no matter how long ago they parted ways. He also keeps calling Charles, ‘teammate,’ like he thinks anyone needs to be reminded of this. 

“What are we doing now?” Carlos asks, rubbing his hands together like he’s impatient to get started. 

Charles doesn’t know why he would be - they’ve been doing promotional obligations all day, and his head is starting to hurt from all the bright lights. It’s all videos and photoshoots for their sponsors and social media accounts. Tomorrow will be the more important agenda - seat and race suit fittings are the first things on the schedule.

“A video for the fans, I think,” Charles says, in answer. “Where we ask each other questions.”

“Ah, so I can discover all of your secrets.” Carlos lifts his brows up and down in a way that Charles isn’t sure he’s ever seen someone do. 

He knows it’s a joke - one of Carlos’ strange ones, where he doesn’t really mean what he says. But Charles still finds himself wanting to protest the remark.

“I don’t have secrets.” Why would he? He has nothing to hide. Carlos rolls his eyes.

“Okay,” is all he says.

Charles has the sense he’s disappointed him somehow. Not that it really matters, but he’s still trying to figure out his new teammate. He wants them to get along, since they’ll be seeing a lot of one another. So far, he feels like Carlos is perpetually amused by him for reasons that Charles can’t determine.

“The questions are prepared,” Charles adds. “They wouldn’t have us ask whatever we wanted.” This seems obvious to him, but maybe Carlos isn’t yet accustomed to how structured things are at Ferrari. 

Practically their every movement is planned by some coordinator on the team - the only time it can’t be is in the car, when the drivers themselves hold the steering wheel. And even then, the team tries to control everything with strategy and radio communications during the race.

Carlos gives him a searching look, which Charles attempts not to shy away from. He isn’t shy, anyway. Poor choice of words.

“Do you ever... Mm- how do you say it?” Carlos takes a second to himself, mulling over whatever it is that he’s trying to ask. “Do you ever go against the script?”

“The script?” Charles frowns.

“The rules. The path. The plan.” Carlos studies him, as he processes the words, like Charles is a bug in a jar. It’s not a sensation he particularly...enjoys, though he can’t pinpoint why. 

“I’m not...” He swallows, unsure of himself. “I don’t-”

“Boys!” someone is saying from across the room, gesturing them over. 

There’s a beat of silence between them, and then Carlos is saying, “Never mind, mate,” patting Charles on the shoulder. 

He walks away then, and Charles is left with a strange hollowness in his chest, like he’s failed at something - like when he’s driven badly or made a mistake on track. But he hadn’t done anything like that. He’d just been talking to his teammate...

He takes a deep breath, then moves to join Carlos across the room.

WIP Wednesday

[lonestardust]

very insightful your previous posts from last week that explained the storytelling this season because i couldn't help feeling like there was a missing piece. Which I totally understand the fact that we can't see or have everything on TV. I'm satisfied either way but somehow I just can't help feeling like we could've had something more out of episode 5.

Oh me too I'm genuinely satisfied anyway, because IT'S TARLOS!! aka the best and only love story ever!! and also simply because we have the fandom experience that truly indulges all of our thoughts and what ifs with fics and discussions and headcanons etc.

you know i was actually just thinking of how the choice of the whole therapy thing did not fully sit right with its building blocks because it relied on the time skips to tell us about the problem but over showed trying to solve it in whole 5 minutes of therapy. this didn't really land for me even though i reallyyy enjoyed watching it! like I'd rather just cancel the therapy thing altogether over getting too much of it when the showing of the build up to getting there could've been more cogent in my opinion.

that's why i reimagine how 5x05 would've been more compelling if those opening 5 mins were divided into two scenes where it really shows Carlos being truly absent and letting the case consume him completely, and TK is so supportive and trying hard not to break down under the weight of feeling abandoned.

(excuse the messy thoughts okay) a scene where :

Carlos actually skips their plans for the night altogether, and TK who made plans for them to dine out somewhere because they haven't been able to spend time together lately, brought a gift and is all ready at home texting carlos because if they're late they're gonna miss their reservation and carlos keeps saying he'll leave work soon, TK ultimately gives up, the plans are cancelled and it's not the first time. and he's just sitting there spiraling, doesn't even change his clothes, he's utterly crushed and wants to cry because he's alone and it makes him sick like a kid to be abandoned like that and have it come from carlos, the only person that would never let TK feel that way. but he puts on a brave face when carlos finally gets home, he looks really distressed it worries TK that this is not just guilt over skipping plans again, he greets TK and makes an attempt to apologise before he goes to sit on the edge of the bed, and everything just reflects in the mood of the loft where it's barely lit like usual and the only light in their bedroom is coming from outside, carlos just folds in on himself and cries.. like truly breaks down. letting everything out, all of his pent-up strain and grief and TK rushes towards him and moves into his space and sits in front of him (like their 3x08 and 4x01 parallels) and he immediately starts comforting him in that way where he whispers to carlos his familiar strings of hey, and breathe and it's okay, and carlos' voice is broken, trying to hold back the next sob and having difficult time trying to string words into a coherent sentence

"TK.. I'm stuck. everything feels like a dead end and I don't know what else to do and- I'm sorry I'm not good enough, it's my fault for dragging this for too long because I should've solved the case long time ago but I couldn't and I just don't know- I'm so sorry I-"

"hey hey hey, breathe baby" TK pulls him to his chest then cups his face between his hands, telling him that hey no you're incredible, you're resourceful and capable but it's not easy and it's not supposed to and that's not your fault-

"I'm sorry" carlos immediately cuts him off

because this TK right here, his support, his patience feels jarring because carlos fully expected to come home to TK rightfully lashing out at him for canceling on yet another thing they planed to do together, but no, he's right here holding him and reassuring all his worries and he's so so gentle it triggers all of the guilt of the unspent love and time he should've been putting into their marriage. it drags him down to sincerely apologising and it's one of those moments where he'd call him TK by his actual name because that's when he really wants TK to knowww how he really feels

"Carlos.. it's not the first time where we end up like this, you know that. you lose yourself there for too long, it's like you're letting go of everything else we have, you make me miss you like hell, and I feel like we're already starting to drift apart"

"no please don't say that, I don't want that, I'm done making you feel this way, I'm done wasting the time i get with you, i am so sorry baby I know i haven't really been a good husband-"

"you're an incredible husband okay"

"But I'm not TK, and I'm not trying to do better, and I promise you to do better".........

and carlos begins again by suggesting that TK once told him to join him in the grief counselling meetings and that he'd love to go to one now with him..

like that's the moment in the storyline where carlos makes the promise to do better and then by the end of the episode we see the resolution of it, and we get the confirmation that they went to grief counselling or couples counselling together and it happens over them having ice cream during a night walk after dining out because carlos managed to get a table at that restaurant again, TK filling him in on all the 126 drama he's been missing or something that TK took up that carlos didn't really get to hear about how it's going..

[fallenhanari]

Hello! Sorry if this is abrupt, but I’m a new follower of yours, and I’d love to hear more about all of your Amnesia WIPs if that’s alright! It’s one of my favorite otome games and I love to see it getting new fan content 😄

Plus I’m also considering starting to write fanfic for it myself (but am still nervous about putting my writing out there lol)

Omg anon, you just made my day. I've been getting back into tinkering with a couple of these WIPs this past week actually, so they're fresh in my mind too. Amnesia was one of the first otome games I played when I was getting back into them after a break a few years ago, and I'm so attached to the worlds and characters honestly. And Shin unexpectedly became a big muse for me for a while, though I do have stories for multiple other characters even if he features most often lol. He's not even my favorite overall, but something about him just absolutely compels me to write, it seems. I'd also love to see if you get to putting any future writing you do out there!! Honestly, just the act of writing can be really fulfilling if you're not ready to share - I have some WIPs for other fandoms that probably won't ever see the light outside my docs since they're more for me than for posting - but there's such fun in sharing with the community too. Fandoms for specific console/PC otome games tend to be on the smaller side since most players spread themselves across many games with time, so all the writing we can get out there is exciting imo. Anyway, moving to what you're here for haha. So for Amnesia I have four WIP documents in various states of worked on. I'll break them down under a cut since I might just ramble on a bit much, knowing myself lol. Also heads up for mild smut discussion though there won't be much detail.

Shin/MC Sequel (E-rated, PWP, post-canon Heart World) This one is the oldest file, but I haven't actually worked on getting down concrete ideas for it until literally this week, woops. Last year I posted my first Amnesia fic which was a PWP/smut oneshot for these two involving Shin initiating a kind of sex game to try to ease MC into more direct intimacy then getting in over his head by the end with her. Right after finishing writing and posting I decided I wanted to do a sequel fic where MC proposes a similar type of game and gets a bit of a taste of her own medicine. Where the original focused on edging, this one would focus on overstimulation. At the time I quickly got distracted and in too deep with another WIP in this list, but I reread the posted story recently and got back in the mood for exploring those two in that vaguely post-canon verse. If the smut writing wants to cooperate with me I might be moving forward with this one soon enough~ And though none of them have documents yet, I have started considering some other ideas to explore in this series, mainly one for their first time having penetrative sex and one where Shin bottoms for MC for the first time. I just find the particular dynamic I wrote them with here weirdly comfy to settle into, so it makes me want to explore their evolution of intimacy more and more! Math Fools (E-rated, PWP, poly, tentatively Spade World but probably doesn't matter if there or Clover World or AU) This one has the least meat to it so far, but it's probably obvious who it's featuring by the name lol. There's a particular scene in Ikki's story in Amnesia Later that I was reading and made me stop to create a new document. Ikki, Kent, and MC engage in silly roleplay shenanigans and all get hilariously into it, so of course my brain went and extrapolated that into a potential smut scenario. In its current state the document is a literal single sentence: "So y’all are into roleplay now huh? Ikki, Kent, MC, I see all of you." And that basically is the extent of my thought into this one so far. I have no idea what kind of roleplay they might get up to, and it's even possible I'd turn this into a sillier comedy fic instead of smut if that's where the characters took me when I started writing. But they're all absolute goofballs together, and I think it'd be fun to explore one way or another! Not Even a Real Idea TBH (G-or-T-rated, post-canon Spade World, pre-poly, fluff and silliness) Despite the title, this is moderately more developed than the last one! I just didn't have a title idea when I made the document and have yet to change it since I still don't have one and didn't want to just make it a throuple title only lol. Since it's post-Spade World, Ikki and MC are our established couple here. Near the end of Ikki's Amnesia Later story, there's this part where the best way I can describe it is Shin being very earnest toward and observant and fond of Ikki and MC's relationship, while Ikki is a complete menace toward Shin in every capacity. I don't even remember the exact content of the scene as I think about it right now, but that was the whole vibe that came across to me. And I just think Spade World MC totally has the capacity to become a bit of a menace toward Shin too if she wanted. So these two start teasing Shin in various slightly flirty ways after talking to each other about their mutual interest in him. And Shin isn't really getting it for a while, too much a shipper on deck to realize they're individually and together flirting with him and sort of courting him in their strange roundabout ways. So they probably eventually end up having to be direct with him, and then the throuple antics can begin. This one truly is vibes-based and not so much concrete writing/scenes/ideas yet for me, but I think it'll be neat lol. It could be a longer oneshot or a smaller multi-chapter thing; I haven't fully decided for it yet. I think I'll need to go back and replay the scene that got me thinking on it to iron out their dynamic before I get into it.

And I'm now hitting a new character limit I didn't even realize Tumblr had, so uh. Look to a quick reblog to see the last WIP and the end of my message to you anon! Sorry for the weirdness lol

[waywardstation]

If I come off as rude you can ignore and delete this but can’t we have both wips? As a treat? I’m incredibly happy with all your content and your wips are always exciting. I’m in love with the Phione AU snippet but I’m also curious (probably more than I should be) about the other one.

This is not meant to put in any pressure and you can ignore it. But it’d be nice to see the other one as well.

I’m sorry for being annoying but I’m just enjoying your content.

Not at all anon!! I don’t see it annoying at all, In fact it really means a lot to me that you say you enjoy my content and you’d like to see more; thank you very much!! ^^

The other one is from a fic I have completed but cannot post yet, as it’s meant to come right after another that I am still working on. It’s called Entropy Syndrome, and the overall concept is kind of sad, but like all my works I don’t leave it like that in the end and at least imply things will work out.

Below is the WIP you would have gotten if Angst won the poll; enjoy!

————

“You are not going to go out like this, or any other way!” The sharper corners of Akari’s words emboldened her tone. “I’m here! And I’ve been able to stop every single instance of it! I’m going to keep doing this every single time-”

“You will not-” A much more assertive tone than Akari ever expected out of Ingo, but she did not falter.

“Yes I will!”

“You’re getting HURT, Akari!” Ingo jostled her firmly by the shoulders. He spoke with a compelling energy that she had rarely heard from him, and had yet to ever direct at her in such a manner. “Today, it is your hand, but the future may very certainly hold a much worse injury if you continue down this route! You must understand that these are not light accidents by any means – my fate is attempting to derail me. I will not allow you to stand on the tracks, lest you be killed in the process of trying to prevent what cannot be stopped from reaching its set destination!”

Divisive agony. The misty eyes darkened under the shade of his hat were welling with the emotion.

He did not want to talk to her like this, or acknowledge his imminent fate with such absolution; he already felt so backed into a corner, trying to dodge the punches while knowing the inevitable hit would only be a simple matter of time. But Akari knew he was trying to keep her out of that corner, lest she be struck first while attempting to warn or protect him.

But she could dodge too.

“You’re only still here because of me!” The edge in her voice gave all it could before it relented to the wavering of frustrated grief in her heart, and throbbing pain in her hand. “I’m the only one who knows when these things are going to happen! If I do nothing, what are you going to do?”

Whether his intentions were not known even to himself, or the implied verge of tears in Akari’s voice prevented him from telling her, Ingo said nothing.

“I know you don’t want to just let it happen either.”

“No. I do not.” Ingo spoke quieter now.

“Then what will you do?”

“…The correct procedures moving forward are unclear to me.” Ingo sniffed. He finally moved one of his hands to wipe at his eyes with the heel of his palm. “I do not know what I will do.”

[thousand-winters]

I hope YOU'RE doing well pal! 💖💖💖 I'd love to hear your Laios and Hooty thoughts

Actually now I'm thinking about them interacting and how cursed it'd be haha

I am today!!! It has been a good day for once haha. I hope you're having a good day today, and that your cats are doing good!!!

Oh, my gods, I can't decide if they would get along like a house on fire or if somebody would end up dead ahahaha. Or if Laios would consider Hooty looks stupid considering his reaction to Marcille's sky fish lmao 😭 I'm sorry, Hooty, you technically ARE a worm.

Okay, getting into it now, starting with Laios:

How I feel about this character

I love him!!! He ended up not being my favorite because I adore Marcille with my whole heart but he's such a good main character, honestly. I wasn't thinking too much about it when I started watching, I was just having fun and I think it showed already that he wasn't just a silly character or anything, but man... the moments he got the most serious, he had me in shambles haha.

I enjoy him very much, it's really cool to see the ripples in his relationship with both monsters and humans. There's so much to him that I'm yet to see too and I'm looking forward to it, he's definitely not the kind of main character you're kinda sick of and want to leave already haha.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I have been swayed to the Labru side, finally, haha. I think they have a fascinating dynamic and while I certainly haven't seen everything they have to offer, the push and pull there makes it very compelling. Plus I'm not immune to cool fanart and funny posts, not gonna lie, but the main reason is that they seem to have a very compelling dynamic, not exactly direct or straightforward in its development and that really has me dying to see more.

I have been seeing Lashuro recently too and ngl, I've been going 👀 at that too. I remember I had talked with my friend Isis about how it was sort of funny that the Toudens do have very similar traits when it comes to how they view the world sometimes and yet Toshiro finds one annoying and the other charming. Probably in part a mix of attitude and gender, I'm not sure. Although in all fairness they seemed to be pretty at peace at the end so... I think it can be fun.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Marcille!!! Oh, they have so many good scenes with one another, they have such a fun dynamic, I love how much Laios trusts Marcille despite also knowing she can do shit like pour boiling water on an Undyne lmao.

In general they're very fun, the mix of them bickering but very obviously valuing each other's opinions and caring about one another is really good. Also I think it was you who said once they had siblings in lae energy and I can't unsee it ever since, they really do haha.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I haven't seen this much around tumblr or such, and I know the Dunmeshi Spanish fandom has the worst takes known to mankind but man, he's not dumb, come on now.

I doubt this is really unpopular and I especially need to actually read the full manga to understand his character more, probably, so I don't have too many complex opinions about him but... I feel like it's somewhat common to see him depicted as stupid but he's such a smart character, actually? He doesn't have to be the tropey nerd character to be smart, he has been shown to be very perceptive, even if he might be lacking on that department when it comes to social matters.

I just think writing him off as just being clueless and dumb is doing a big disservice to his character. He does have his struggles when it comes to general awareness and specific types of it but he's far from dumb.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I truly cannot speak on this one since I'm not done with the manga, haha. I have been spoiled a bit by some really cool fanart and animatics, I'm not gonna lie, so I have the gist of some big things that are coming but since I have the idea and not the actual development of it, I don't feel like I can speak on any of it, nor do I have any concrete ideas there anyway.

So far I'm pretty content with everything I have seen, both anime and manga wise.

And now onto Hooty:

How I feel about this character

I love him. I get why he annoys a lot of people in and out of universe, he's one of those silly cartoon characters that's not supposed to be super deep (although what's up with Papa Titan having a Hooty in his eye? I still need answers about that), but I like that he's always sweet and loves his people even if they're mean to him. I'm so happy Lilith came along and started appreciating him, it's what he deserves!

I think he's fun in general. I definitely would love to think more about the deeper implications about his existence, how did he even meet Eda and all about that, but I have to admit I don't think enough about him most of the time to even have ideas in that department. He's just silly and I appreciate that.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

None, this is how you get the cursed image of Hootlets. Does anybody wants Hootlets? This is how we get them.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

LILITH!!! Their friendship makes me SO happy, they're adorable. I definitely didn't see that one coming but I like how they ended lowkey balancing each other with Hooty reminding Lilith to care for herself and that she should depend on others and Lilith remarking upon Hooty's own worth to the point he's not seeking attention desperately anymore after they become friends because he's far more content with his friendship. It might have been more about how the writing around him changed too, but I liked to think the fact they became friends also helped the rest of the Owl Fam to soften around him and appreciate him more.

I love that in the end Hooty is living his best life just going around with Lilith.

My unpopular opinion about this character

He's not THAT annoying except in the Spanish dub. And I'm saying this as a chronic "obnoxious cartoon mascot hater" haha. Hooty is obviously supposed to be a little much but I don't think it ever goes to the point in which you actually want to strangle him or wish he wasn't even in the show in the first place.

At least that's what the experience was for me, I'm aware opinions differ but I think Hooty is pretty fine as he is, honestly.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Going back to that thing with Papa Titan and the Hooty eye... hey, what was that? Can we go back to that real quick? I really wish we had found out what was the connection between titans and... whatever Hooty is. I know Dana said at some point a specific youtuber had made the right theory but I could never figure out who was it and what did they say haha.

Anyway, yeah, I wish they had gotten into that. It would be Hooty AND titan lore all in one.

Thank you for the ask!!! From this ask game

[liquorisce]

What are some of your favorite fics? It doesn't have to be aot or something you've written

omg tysm for this question I love talking about my fav fics ESP BC SO MANY OF THEM ARE NON AOT 🙈🙈 I had to go to my ffn favs for this hihi

so this is list is home to the fics that I have truly idolised, read repeatedly and tried to emulate in some way or another in my own writing journey:

1. Heartbeat by letmeannoyyoutoday. U must have heard me screaming about this fic before. It is god tier, the angstiest, the most painful Sasusaku you can imagine. There isn’t even smut in it but still I’m rendered a sobbing mess everytime I read this story. And I read it every fortnight or so, I swear. canonverse. sasusaku get married.

2. The most dangerous things by Childoftheashes. Man this fic is the tastiest thing in the ichihime fandom istg. Ichigo is unapologetically horny and bossy and slutty and I love everything about it. Orihime is absolutely clueless and drives him up a wall and it’s literally completely smut! This author is one of my smut senseis. I also really love "chasing paper tigers like dreams" by her.

3. Sometimes I think the stupidest things by starsinew. Ok I’m sorry for putting this here bc this user doesn’t have this fic up anymore (I managed to find the epub and thank fuck for that) but I had to talk about it bc this fic changed me on a fundamental level. I fell in love with it so much, even to this day I look back at it with an education lens as to how to write smut. God tier. I hope this author is well and living their best life.

4. Friends with Benefits by confused panda bear. Syaosaku, card captor Sakura. Again a story that doesn’t exist anymore online but I still remember some of the dialogues bc they were so iconic. Definitely a primer on smut writing for me. I invite you to check out their other stories tho they’re literally the harugou mother, birthing the most insane crackship in the free! fandom and getting everyone else drunk on it thanks to their god tier writing.

5. Clarity by randomteenager — angsty but silly gruvia. i love it so much.

6. Seeking Ginny by Casca. Harry/Ginny fic with heavy emphasis on Ginny's personal growth.

7. How to Coexist by Spoilerarlert and also washed up and rundown, I haven't finished it yet but fuck its amazing so far. Both are modern AU stories, one in NYC and the other in Chicago. I can't recommend this author enough, they have a very original and compelling style of writing.

8. Little Beast by herblacktights. This is my fav modern au, high school eremika. If you haven't heard me raving me about this fic already then ur obviously new here. ITS AWESOME! go read it now

9. Dog by Ackermom. floch x eren at it's unhealthiest best. canonverse. This author is one my favs actually, I devour ALL of her work, no exception. I also really enjoyed her reibert fics.

10. Icarus & I by bluinary. Armin-centric. Modern AU. I read this many years ago but I think of it often. I loved Armin's journey in this fic.

11. Three Days by Lotos-Eater. Canonverse. An angsty smutty Shikatema fic where Shikamaru thinks he's lost her.

12. For everything there is a season by SouthSideStory. If y'all are sasusaku stans then you know SouthSideStory already. She's phenomenal. This one is angsty sequel which delves into Sakura's feelings post miscarriage. I highly recommend the prequel as well.

13. Fool for you by Hand of Destiny. Syaosaku. Card Captor Sakura. Syaoran is a business mogul from a very traditional Chinese family. Sakura is an innocent girl who decides to try giving the escort profession a go. God tier, I swear. It also has a sequel!

14. lost girl & found boy. eremika. lost girls-verse. mikasa wants to know how babies are made, etc. cw: teen pregnancy.

15. all you want by senlinyu. i just binged this yesterday. holy shit. it's the big daddy of m/f omegaverse fics, I swear. dramione. canonverse + omegaverse. really really good!!!

ty for the question <3

[cryingforhyo]

i guess it's safe to say that I'm one of your old readers in this fandom. 😅 I've been a reader since you drop Push and Pull out on that holiday night.

I read most of your fics too. there's only one or two fic that I haven't read in the past year because life is a bit hectic now.

this is not a subtle request btw, but I'm curious if you have a 'verse focused about coming-out or realizing one's sexual orientation. I don't exactly remember every detail but, iirc, most of your fics' characters have implied sexuality which are lesbians.

It will be cool to know how you guys write about the experiences of coming out from your time period. ( I don't mean to make you feel so old 😭 but I know you two are in your 30s and are wiser and more experienced than we are (early 20s) ) I remember reading a post that it was really a different social scene compared to now.

maybe I'm also curious how you two became friends, then roommates *cough* *coughhhhh* and then wives because tbh I'm surrounded by hetero couples irl that reading about you two fascinates me.

I'm sorry for this ramble. feel free to ignore it too if it's borderline invasive. and sorry if you'll see this on a Monday morning

first off, thank you dear reader for being with us for so long! time surely flies when you're having fun, because wdym push & pull is approaching its 3rd anniversary??? creating for this fandom has been such a joint delight for the both of us, and we're just happy to share the journey with friends like you :) take your time re the new fics, esp if they're wips! we're working on them relatively slower, because life has also been hella hectic hereabouts.

onto your second query: i think this question is very interesting, actually! to address it head on, for this particular fandom i don't think i've written a 'verse where the specific challenge for any of the characters is coming to terms with their sexuality. i quite like living in this fantasy world where people are simply as-is-where-is lesbians haha. for example in our childhood best friends to lovers stories, when someone realizes their attraction, the realization is not so much about falling in love with another woman, but about falling in love with this specific person.

this way, it's the characters' shared context and history that makes their dynamic compelling, instead of the much more global milieu of lgbt relationships existing alongside all these issues and history, etc. which i also think are interesting stories to tell! but for purposes of this fandom in particular, which i think exists in a sociopolitical context that is beyond my expertise--i leave those stories to better-positioned storytellers :) in the true spirit of creating in this era, i do not want to get anything so egregiously wrong it will detract from the reader's experience.

but seriously, i have been obsessed about writing coming out/ coming of age stories for the longest time, mostly for my original work, which are set locally with local OCs. they were all i wrote about back in the day, so i guess for fanfic i figured i could instead try all the other tropes that weren't so close to real life, where coming out can be fraught and complicated. it's for the same reason that i don't write compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) or i avoid writing men as third parties in general... i've already spent a significant chunk of my writing life writing /that/ story, or at least that’s how it felt like.

but you make a good point! i'd love to try revisiting that coming out/coming of age trope and give it some aged-up flavor. let's see about that :)

on a personal note, many times when i look at today's digital landscape, I often go, thank god [this or that] did not exist just yet back in the day [or at least not in this manner] when i was figuring my shit out, because oh boy. the clout i could have chased and cancellations i could have booked haha.

suffice it to say i'm happy the digital footprints of past egregious mistakes are now buried with the deaths of old platforms. we were very lucky to have lived and loved and lost in an age where the internet could still afford some measure of forgetting.

(i know there's probably no going back to that kind of landscape, but i hope it's not too late for us to be a little kinder to each other, and definitely more forgiving of ~youth and elderly~, given how fast information cycles around these days and how wide the age range of users concurrently using the same digital spaces right now can be. it's NUTS.)

that said, c would like to clarify she is still in her twenties! hahaha. i confirm this. i also confirm that you're right to say i (k) am already out of my twenties haha.

we actually became friends through fandom! we met on tumblr lmao because that's where you met other wlw back in the day (idk if that's still where people are, istg i would not survive the current dating landscape either!) so i would not be exaggerating when i say fandom brought us together, and we're still cycling through fandoms together, having been to various ones in the past handful of years. that said we look forward to more fandoms to add to our list lol.

thanks for this ask - it's actually the PERFECT thing to see on a monday morning, in fact. hope your week goes well!

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

hi its the ring for jeeves analysis anon sorry im so illusive can't help my mysterious nature its inexplicable, quick question: have you read any psmith??? if so thoughts on them do you hold any opinions, postulations, assumptions etc. in re: queercoding, possibly even queerer coded than jeeves series??

Mysterious Ring for Jeeves anon! Just when I thought you forever borne away on the four winds, you have returned again to the masked ball to drop your calling card (three black goose feathers and a shard of mother of pearl collected from the silver sands by the light of the season's first full moon) into the hollowed-out tree stump at the edge of the garden. I receive and understand your message, and shall await your signal directly the cock crows thrice.

Now, to answer your question, Psmith had been on my "should really get around to it" list for ages, but this ask prompted me to finally download the Psmith in the City audiobook and put it on while I was packing and now I DO have thoughts! My first thought was that I had no idea working in a bank was so much like working in hospitality, but that's a post for another day.

Short answer: yes, this is queer as hell. And it isn't even the first non-Jeeves Wodehouse book I've read that felt even more queer coded than Jeeves-- the first was Ukridge (aka It's Always Sunny in London), which I'm going to go ahead and compare and contrast with Psmith, because I feel like I'm starting to uncover a pattern in Wodehouse's POV characters that I think could lend support to queer readings of a lot of his works.

For those who aren't familiar, Ukridge is ALSO the tale of an extremely blatant self-insert character inescapably captivated by the magnetic personality of an old school friend. Corky, a starving writer who's always struggling to get his articles published in magazines and is totally not Wodehouse by a different name, is deeply irritated by the get-rich-quick schemes of his freeloader friend Ukridge. He knows Ukridge is taking advantage of him, and rarely has a positive thing to say about him, yet clearly finds something about his indefatigable spirit immensely compelling: "to me this tame subsidence into companionship with a rich aunt in Wimbledon seemed somehow an indecent, almost a tragic, end to a colourful career like that of S. F. Ukridge. [...] I should have had more faith. I should have known my Ukridge better. I should have realised that a London suburb could no more imprison that great man permanently than Elba did Napoleon."

This quotation is followed by Corky finding out that Ukridge has acquired six Pekinese dogs (which will turn out to have been pinched from his aunt) that he's planning to train for show biz, and would Corky like to invest. If you wanted to know.

The queerness is rather more unilateral in Ukridge than in Psmith, but no less glaring for that. Corky really doesn't seem to like it when Ukridge is interested in a woman, and shows little to no interest in women himself, iirc. I mean, the first time he sees Ukridge in the company of a woman he sounds almost betrayed: "Never in the course of a long and intimate acquaintance having been shown any evidence to the contrary, I had always looked on Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge, my boyhood chum, as a man ruggedly indifferent to the appeal of the opposite sex. I had assumed that, like so many financial giants, he had no time for dalliance with women—other and deeper matters, I supposed, keeping that great brain permanently occupied." THIS is his reaction to Ukridge announcing that he wants to get engaged: "The thing was too cataclysmal for my mind. It overwhelmed me." GIRL.

If I had no prior familiarity with Wodehouse and I read this book, I would be asking which straight boy hurt him.

Finally, one of the Ukridge stories contains this exchange between Corky and a pugilist Ukridge has decided he's going to make a star, which I would like to present here without comment before moving on:

“You ever been in love, mister?” I was thrilled and flattered. Something in my appearance, I told myself, some nebulous something that showed me a man of sentiment and sympathy, had appealed to this man, and he was about to pour out his heart in intimate confession. I said yes, I had been in love many times. I went on to speak of love as a noble emotion of which no man need be ashamed. I spoke at length and with fervour.

Skipping merrily along, let us now come back around to Psmith in the City, starting with the primary POV character and then bringing in Psmith's relationship to him.

Mike is an even more blatant self-insert than Corky. This would have been obvious even if I didn't already know that in his young adulthood Wodehouse, owing to the fact that his father could no longer afford to send him to Oxford, had worked as a clerk at the Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank. The jokes are too precise to not be from personal experience. As Mike is our audience avatar, he's naturally the more normal, less distinctive character. Despite his relative nondistinctness, though, he's written in such a way that it's clear Wodehouse deeply identified with him. The sections where he's feeling emotions like homesickness or out-of-placeness or sympathy, for instance, are very vivid and evocative. You really feel what Mike is feeling.

Then there's Psmith, manic pixie dream boy and destroyer of bad managers. He handles every situation with a debonair smile on his face and breezy condescension in his voice, completely unflappable... except with regards to Mike. His feelings typically aren't described in as much detail as Mike's are, but it's obvious he adores him, to the point of slight codependence. He needs Mike near him to hear his thoughts on life, and nobody else will do. As much as he tries to maintain his air of blithe nonchalance at all times, real emotion slips through whenever the situation involves separating him from Mike or Mike being in danger.

When Mike is moved to the Cash Department, Psmith is immediately desolate. I love the way he's like, "but- but if you relocate Mike, then WHO pray tell will PAY ATTENTION TO ME?" and this is a genuine crisis for him. He resents the new guy just for not being Mike. Local annoyingly imperturbable gadfly inconsolable due to boybestfriend going to work in a different department than him, more at eight. Then, when Mike gets into the fight at Clapham Common, Psmith feels genuine fear as he prepares to intervene in the fight and tell Mike to make a run for it.

Another factor I feel makes the queer coding stronger here is that unlike Bertie and Jeeves, there isn't an obvious plausibly deniable reason for Psmith and Mike to always be together. Jeeves is Bertie's employee. He's an unreasonably devoted and loyal employee, but you expect a gentleman to be accompanied by his valet about town, and for the gentleman and valet to share accommodation.

Psmith and Mike are just like that. They live together because they like each other and want to. Psmith spends the whole book essentially treating Mike like his boyfriend and sugar baby, again, simply because he wants to. I mean, the novel literally opens with Psmith bringing Mike home to meet his parents, and Psmith's father later refers to Mike as the "youngster [Psmith] brought home last summer." Psmith invites Mike to go out on an excursion with him "hand in hand" not once, but twice. The end goal of all his scheming is for him and Mike to be together at Cambridge.

'I need you, Comrade Jackson,' he said, when Mike lodged a protest on finding himself bound for the stalls for the second night in succession. 'We must stick together. As my confidential secretary and adviser, your place is by my side. Who knows but that between the acts tonight I may not be seized with some luminous thought? Could I utter this to my next-door neighbour or the programme-girl? Stand by me, Comrade Jackson, or we are undone.' So Mike stood by him.

I find it very notable that despite one of the big themes of the book being Mike and Psmith feeling uncertain about the future and trying to figure out what they want to do in life, neither of them ever mentions or thinks about marriage as something they might want someday. From what I've seen it looks like that might change in later books, but it stuck out in this one. And it's not like they couldn't have! Mr Waller's daughter and her on-again-off-again fiance were at that extremely awkward dinner, and that could have prompted a thought about whether or not the prospect of engagement sounded personally appealing to either of the boys.

This book feels like a wish fulfillment fantasy in much the same way the Jeeves books do. Imagine you have a fascinating friend who, using his money and/or resourcefulness, can rescue you from your terrible job and terrible shitty apartment (or other, richer varieties of soup, if you're Bertie Wooster), freeing you to pursue the life you truly want. He's clever, and quotes all your favorite Shakespeare lines, and is intensely devoted to you (he's also kind of a weird stickler about clothes but you can put up with that). And all he asks for it is that you look at him with awed wonder and gratitude and tell him he's a genius a few times a day.

So! In conclusion, I think you could read this as romantic or queerplatonic according to your fancy, but there's certainly nothing straight about it. And loath as I am to speculate about the personal lives of people who were alive in recent memory, I'm kind of starting to have some questions about P. G. Wodehouse. But that's neither here nor there. I'm going to go read some fanfic. Thank you so much for the question, Mysterious Ring for Jeeves Anon!

[satsuha]

D V and Z for the ask game? :D

under the cut bc idk if this counts as ship hate and it got really long

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

hika ag... (not putting the eng ship name for search reasons) i already knew the devs were gonna push them the moment i saw the crossed paths illust released but ultimately it felt disappointing to me in the game orz i already don't like the feeling when a certain ship is being pushed if they aren't going to go the whole mile and make it canon but in a game like octopath where the protags have such minimal interaction i don't like that it feels like these two got special attention (they have the most banters together tied with thro/oche) and yet their interactions aren't.... interesting....! some of hikari's story banters with her literally feel like he could be talking to a random npc instead and the things hikari says in agnea's story ring very hollow to me 😞 given like the fact that they both lost their mothers, illusts show hikari dancing with her or playing the flute (even the lyre in a concept art draft), it's disappointing to me that their ingame banters don't touch on this at all... complained about their crossed paths story another time but honestly for all this complaining i don't hate them i just feel very disappointed and sort of like they wasted their interactions together ngrhg

V - Which character do you relate to most?

KINDA dungeon meshi spoilers... completely off topic from what i usually talk about but i like marcille's character arc and her goals arising from her fear of being left behind. i'm gonna keep things vague since dunmeshi just got an anime and is getting bigger and also since i don't want to go too deep into why i relate to her but stories about learning to value the time you have with friends while knowing it will end one day (frieren is another obvious one) are very close to me

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

sorry when you say ramble i think it will always be complaining-adjacent with me but after playing agnea ch3 with english voices i got so surprised at the difference between eng and jp giselle that i got compelled to make a comparison of it and it JUST... makes me so sad that certain chars will be more likely to be overlooked or overshadowed, even liked/disliked depending on localization efforts o<-< i know it's unrealistic to ask people to play in multiple languages bc that isn't feasible for everybody but honestly it's jarring sometimes how different certain characters or scenes can come off as... i struggle with interacting in fandom spaces bc i don't always agree with english localizing efforts (and i get it, it really is a difficult job and by no means do i think they did a BAD job at it most of the time) but because so many people who will interact with my posts have only been exposed to that version, i'll feel very... alienated?? by some interpretations that i see. but i mean ultimately interpretation is more subjective and i think localization only nudges you to one side or another, so i still just do the same as i would do otherwise and find people whose content i enjoy... that was a lot of rambling but did you know that in hikari's ch2 banter with castti the english changed his lines quite a bit ?? i've already talked about how i think eng hikari is more expressive in his voice acting but i think it's something that was present in the text first and i... AM VERY MIXED about it bc i do think it works Really nicely in certain scenes, but i still like how restrained jp hikari sounds because i think it suits him more... anyway this is just a small snippet of the kind of thing i think about when looking at localization like in the end it's just Different versions, i guess i do look at the original jp version as more accurate to the creators' intentions but i think having an "official" interpretation in english can be nice and valuable in its own right.. if i didn't think so i just wouldn't play these games in english at all lmao (by comparison i don't play korean games in english bc at least the ones i've gotten into don't have great localizations so i don't think it adds much merit)

crying the last one is so long but you asked me to ramble 😭 LMAO... but ty for leaving an ask!

alphabet asks

[pancakewithamace]

hi there! thank you so much for sending me an ask for the fic writers' ask game :D how about 4, 16, 18 and 54? :D :D :D

thank you for sending in this ask! i'm sorry i'm answering so late but better late than never so here you gO

4 = Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

This is a tricky one. Usually I would think of a genre or style, which I probably had just consumed media from, and the idea appears with whatever characters or OCs I was working with. Other times, I'd take a small piece or theme – like a magic 'moral' compass or the phrase 'snake charmer' – and then expand on it. That's how I managed to think of this HUGE two-part fantasy series I've been working on for years (which contains that magical moral compass) and the Sanders Sides one-shot the Prince and the Snake Charmer I wrote a few years ago. It's really crazy. Either way, it's always been intentional. In my opinion, inspiration hardly ever happens in the subconscious or by accident.

16 = How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Oh-ho. Oh boy. Not counting many, many, short stories, around 4 or so. Including one-shots in that would only result in casualties (me). Uh, but, one of the multi-chapter fics is a two-part Sanders Sides fantasy/magic AU, abbreviated 'KFAM', that I've taken way too far and way too seriously. Not gonna lie, I've been writing it for LITERALLY FOUR YEARS. Never posted. Only wrote. And edited. It's driving me crazy. Maybe one day I will put it on Ao3 for a few kudos but for now it's never going to see the light of day

18 = Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Usually during. For me the title represents the thematic content of the fic and not just my initial idea/prompt. As for how, unless the title is something simple on purpose (like 'The Prince and the Snake Charmer'), I actually do take a lot of time naming e v e r y t h i n g. My fic/chapter titles tend to be symbolic of what happens, foreshadow something, or make a pun. I do a lot of research. It's like a puzzle!

One of my favorite chapter titles (for KFAM) is 'The Inevitable': In chapter A, a character who lives on a certain island describes the weather, and says 'thunder booms overhead, foreshadowing the inevitable', referring to yet another oncoming storm. A few chapters later, there's a chapter literally called 'The Inevitable' where the characters out a sea get wrecked on that same island because of that same storm. Hehe.

54 = What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

When things start falling into place. ITS SO GOOD. I also really enjoy when all the planning I put in and the little clever bits I randomly thought of make the story really compelling and interesting, that's also the best.

Another fun thing that happened recently was seeing all my years of progress. I re-wrote a chapter that, a long time ago, I'd always considered one of my 'best' or 'most powerful' pieces of writing. I re-wrote it and it was a million times better and that was insane. It made me feel really accomplished. I highly recommend re-writing and comparing new to old work for fun! Very Satisfying, 10/10.

[finalgirlminamurray]

while i'm here i might as well do something of an introductory post.

horror as a genre has been a big special interest of mine for a long time. i've always been kind of drawn to "scary" things out of...i don't even know, some kind of interest in why certain things were considered scary and an inherent fascination in things that were deliberately designed to be scary because of that. i didn't really grow up watching horror movies like some people did (because as a kid i assumed i wasn't allowed to watch anything r-rated and i didn't have a strong interest in seeking out movies that were above my age) but i sure did read a lot and there's plenty of genuinely scary kids' books out there, even before i read my first stephen king novel (misery, age 13, borrowed from my aunt-who-was-really-mom's-friend who knew i could handle it.)

anyway once i turned 18 and went off to college i took full advantage of being able to watch whatever i wanted and started watching every classic horror film i could find and never looked back. i like horror from all decades and subgenres - i like to think i have a good variety in my tastes. i'm pretty desensitized at this point so i don't often find that movies actually "scare" me; that's not the primary reason i watch them. it's just my favorite genre.

it would be impossible to list all of my "favorites" but here are some particularly special and important movies to me:

the texas chain saw massacre (1974) - obviously. i was fascinated with this one ever since i heard the title and my brain latched onto it and wouldn't let go. there's just so much there to talk about with it and i've found it an endlessly compelling setting to work with. i'm also very fond of the texas chainsaw massacre 2 (1986), which is mostly a more "fun" movie but i still feel doesn't get analyzed enough. i watch both every year on the 18th of august. i know there are other films in the series but. i don't care for them.

the wicker man (1973) - i'm a big fan of folk horror in general but this is the ur-example for a reason. the soundtrack alone would probably have pushed this into my top 10 and yet it's still an extremely well-made fascinating film. another annual watch for me because how else are you going to celebrate may day

black christmas (1974) - i don't really think of myself as a slasher fan but the ones that i like i REALLY like. i really feel this one does not get its due in terms of the influence it ended up having on the genre nearly enough. great characters great atmosphere great sense of dark humor while often being genuinely scary. also coming up on its 50th anniversary this year so we should do something to celebrate

a nightmare on elm street (1984) - another slasher i really like. when wes craven's films hit they hit. nancy thompson one of my favorite horror protagonists ever. strangely enough i often find i'm alone for liking the first film best in the series. i would probably like 3 better if nancy didn't die. sorry!

re-animator (1985) - this is what i think of when i think of 80s horror. again the perfect combination of good characters great practical effects and an excellent dark sense of humor. it just suffers from regrettable treatment of its only female lead character but there's also always bride of re-animator which ups the wacky frankenstein nonsense without any scenes you have to warn people about before they get into it. jeffrey combs' herbert west one of my favorite little freaks in horror fiction.

american psycho (2000) - if you don't get the satire of this one that's on you. i just enjoy this one so much. it's brilliantly executed (ha!) i did read the book but i think the film does a very good job distilling and presenting its ideas in a more marketable but no less effective way. i really hope it doesn't develop the reputation of being an overplayed Meme Movie because it's such a good film.

the ring (2002) - okay i don't know if i'm putting this here because i think it's a great movie or if it was just such a formative experience for me but i'll allow myself one nostalgia choice. this was the first real horror movie i ever watched (anyone else's middle school have a pre-halloween event night where they'd have costume contests and show spooky movies? well we used to have one pg-13 rated film each year and this was the one that made an impression on me.) normally i hate 2000s horror remakes and this one does itself no favors by being an american remake of a foreign film (it does have more in common with the film adaptation of ringu than the original novel) but it's probably the best you can get with one of those. i was obsessed with this for a year after watching it and it's probably what actually kick-started my horror film interest. i went down a rabbit hole of ringu lore on my own at age 12-13 and sadako yamamura ended up being the first horror villain i really loved as a character in their own right while everyone my age made a big deal out of being terrified of "the ring girl". that might say something about me or it might not.

that's a brief tour of my horror history i guess. there are so many more films (and books!) i love and i'm always looking for more. my favorite decade of horror is almost definitely the 70s but there's something to love in every era (there are trends but they're not monoliths) and i love seeing new stuff. i can be pretty opinionated and can get a little pretentious, in a way, about my chosen genre so be assured it all comes from a place of love. i like more things than i hate, i think.

i'll be using this space to drop my thoughts about various scary movies and books i've seen and read recently or not so recently. i'm just glad to have a repository for All Of My Opinions.

final note: it's horror if i think it's horror based on vibes. hope this helps

[asherlockstudy]

Previous anon: - i'm sorry if you felt like i was being negative towards you, i'm just speaking my mind i think, and believe me it's not always black or whight, in the way that i think about what's going on with them.. and i do think about them ALOT. and i don't want you to feel like you have to explain your pov to me, i know, and i've been following your blog for some time, and i've read almost all your analysis about them. And although you might think we'r on completely different sides, i don't think that we are. although we disagree on a every important concept of the way we view their relationship( i do think they have feelings for each other that are alot more than just friendly, but they will never acknowledge these felings, not to themselves or others, and that's before even THINKING about maby pursuing or acting upon said feelings.. and thats becuse, i feel like for me to just describe their relationship as just 'friends' is not enough, and is really REALLY downplaying it, and not giving them enough credit for everything they did and when through just to make sure that their always going to be together - i mean i don't remember me literally structuring my whole life, and building it around that, no matter what, i don't want to ever separate from said friend - but it seems too easy for them to do just that. downplaying it, saying that people are just making to much of a big deal about it..'hay we're just normal friends' Like in that podcast where they talked about it being absurd for people to think that there's more to their relationship (i saw you had something to say about that when it came out 😅)and that's where my reasoning for why i don't think what you say is "queerbaiting" is JUST that. i think it's a place where they can kinda explore , and get all that sexuall frustration out without having to answer any questions, it can easily be explained as, " i mean that's what people want, it's just for entertainment .. And on what you said about it not being possible for everyone to be happy in the case of them being in a romantic and sexual relationship. Will, we know that the two families are very close, and if we want to go there,will they've joked about the open relationship thing before.. so idk, is it too crazy to say that that might be what's happening? Also i don't think it's fair for you to say that i think this way becuse it's just me putting them on a pedestal, and i'm just afraid to think that they might be lying or whatever, we're all flawed, we're humans. It's just the fact that i haven't seen evidence to think otherwise (that they're selfish or they put themselves and each other above everyone els) but i'm kinda new in this whole fandome - although i consumed alot of their content, trying to cach up - so if you can tell me an incident that compeled you to believe that so whole heartedly, then please tell me.. i'm really just trying to figure it out as will..😭😭

Hey. I have trouble with how I am supposed to answer your mail. Verbally you're being polite but at the same time in both mails you tell me I am being too harsh and too unfair either to them or to you and then also both times you analyze your own theory in a way that feels like it deserves its own original post rather than my askbox. Also, you're telling me here that I don't need to repeat my POV because you know where I stand yet in the end you also ask me to provide compelling examples. So, you know, I really don't know how I am supposed to respond to this. I appreciate that you don't intend to be negative but somehow the ending result, maybe unintentionally (?), is... a little off. I am just being candid.

I wonder whether you've sent me asks before because I remember another conversation about the same topic playing out just like that. And what I receive is that despite the proclaimed - even wishful - openness to the possibilities regarding their relationship, your own belief / theory is very cemented in you. So, I am not sure whether you are trying to propel your own perception through my askbox or you are sort of asking to be convinced but you are not willing or ready to be convinced. I don't know if any of these two are true but this is what I am personally receiving.

There is no blame in this, my belief is also totally cemented . You and a hundred other people could start bombarding me with their different theories 24/7 and honestly I am at such a point right now that it simply would not work. The only ones that can sway me right now are Rhett and Link themselves with something they will perhaps do. I am open to this one. But I can't imagine what that may be.

Also, I don't really want to persuade people individually. I am just writing my thing, what I have in mind and whoever is willing to take it, that's great. After all, this is a personal blog. So I don't think there's any reason to personally engage in huge dialogues or argue or defend my thoughts because if all the Rhink posts that I have been basically making since at least 2018 haven't done the trick, then there is nothing I can say here as a response that could make you see the situation in a different way. That's okay. Similarly, exactly because it's been so long I have been doing this, there is frankly nothing you or any fan like us can send me that can change my mind. As of now. I don't know about the future. I am talking about now.

I hope this doesn't sound aggressive. I wasn't trying to be. My attitude is a bit matter-of-fact-y sometimes but it's because I was trying to explain that I don't think I can provide an answer to this ask and I am not sure this mail is genuinely asking for one.