#sorry for the vent idk I’m just sad
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#only posting it on tumblr bc only a worthy few IRL’s may view this#also a person harassing my friend is now talking to my abuser again#maybe bc I booted em off my priv but I have BPD I take people off my private account a lot and I don’t even post anything on there so???#sorry for the vent idk I’m just sad#and soggy#art#my art#drawing#artists of tumblr#artists on tumblr#oc#oc art#I’m so not Going to Heaven#Tw drugs#tw weed
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sorry for
the lack of new art, I’ve been kinda depressed and pretty lonely lmao
#The bad times are coming back I think#Falling into that familiar hole again#Lmao#vent ig#idk man im tired#so freaking tired lately#Anyways sorry#lol#I feel so annoying#Like every time I message someone#I’m a nuisance#And that people just sorta put up with me#Idk#just sad
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Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again
#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining#once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol#like idk how to be friends#i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely#and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have#actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality#i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again#because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it#pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic#how do i start living again#how does one live anyway#im just in my head all the time#this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness#im so stupid!!!#im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself#im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself#but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go#idk how to be a person anymore#i’m just sad#thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol
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hi fam !!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#mikey welsh#ahhh omg :( i just fumbled so bad socially#and i just need to like. never speak again i feel.#and i’m trying to comfort myself because like. my friend started talking badly about me#and said i only use her to vent which makes me sad because i didn’t think that was true and i try to do sm for her#i made physics study guides for her ; compliment her when she posts ; and post her on my story a lot and always wave to her and talk to her#and i dunno. it makes me sad to think that but i can’t help it; you know? i just need to be alone sometimes and not speak to anyone#and it isn’t like i don’t wanna be her friend ; of course i do but like. it just hurts my heart she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore#and it hurts my heart so bad and i dunno what im meant to do. and yesterday i had a party#and i said a bad joke in front of the wrong people and i just. accidentally embarrassed one of my good friends and i feel so bad#and everyone js went quiet and it’s just. i feel awful and need to be like. beheaded.#and i try to comfort myself like oh it’s okay. today is a new day. but today i feel even worse about it and there’s nothing i can do#to fix this; like on one hand THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX MY BLUNDER!!! but on the other hand; there’s nothing i can do and i have left#my imprint in their minds and it’s so bad. i wish i was like. dead or something; yk? like not even weezer can make me feel better and it#sucks so badly . i wish i could just not think anymore and ignore everything in my life. i just hate myself so badly right now ; and i can’t#even be sure that i’m gonna be better cuz i just lack so much social awareness. i wish#i was more socially aware . i just hate when i get too comfortable. i wish i awkwardly sat in the corner and#didn’t speak to anybody the entire night to spare myself from any awkwardness. i hate parties!! i shouldn’t have gone :(#SORRY FOR THR BENT POST I JS NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE AND LIKE. GET KT OHT YK?#it’s just so. ahhh i hate everything sm rn :( but liek me and the friend joke like that all the time and idk. im just. :( i feel terrible#and i’ve apologized and he said it was okay but embarrassing cuz some ppl looked at him for his reaction#and i dunno. i just feel awful and need to just. focus solely on academics until my brain is fried and i can’t function or something !
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I wonder if maybe, just maybe, in a better world, I could have been a better son to my parents
Where I’m not trans
And they never had to yell
And they never felt the need to punish me
And I never deserved it
Where I still felt as good about them as they say they feel about me
Where I was their golden boy they could really be proud of instead of this…wretched thing
I don’t know if he would still be me
But if that version of me is out there somewhere I hope he’s doing well
He deserves it. Better than I do anyways
#vent#it is 1am I need to wake up at 7:00 and I am spiraling while I scratch at the hundreds of mosquito bites I have#and I am feeling very sad that I turned out this way#and not the way my parents wanted me to be#but it’s too late to be that guy now. I never was him from the start#whoever that ideal me was though he seemed like an alright dude#idk my thoughts on this aren’t lucid really#just.#fuck.#fuck. fuck.#I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough
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˙𖦹 Forever boy : small in a big world.
tw : vent post.
“ \ ☁️ . `
Feeling so small, but unable to.
( not supposed to. Alone. Feeling disgusted. Feeling unwanted. Feeling isolated. Am just a lost boy here, with nowhere to go. Am just a kid, but shouldn’t be. Am just a child, stuck in a mind I cannot cope. Turning my back. )
not small enough. Not like them..
( not afraid. Having things to soothe. Things to hold and touch and play. Having nice sheets and fun toys. Having cute pacifiers and patterned sippy cups. Having things. Dressing up in onesies and cute toddler clothes. Having diaps and baby plates. Maybe they have a carer to love them, maybe their sibby, maybe their friends they share their tiny time to/with. Maybe they are all better than I ever could hope to be. Maybe they deserve more than I. )
#⠀꒰͡⠀ bubba vents ⋆⸜ 🩹 ︵⠀#sorry for vent post again *sad face*#but also#oh sorry *😐* *does not care*#eeergh#those who hate my vent posts can feel free to filter my tag out auwjenffn#vent post#sfw interaction only#big thoughts big feelings tiny brain#:( idk why I’m feeling like this. been avoiding regression now like the plague#help >_>#boyre#wish had someone here to be like >:C “you WILL regress nEOWWW#but that’s like 🤷♂️ not gna happen bc I’m stubborn so would js be pointless#just rambling atp#vent#I feel so happy for everyone else#that can have these nice things#but at the same time I guess that’s why I’m feeling sad#because I have nothing#except plushies I guess
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Hadina thought I had
Hades: bitch are you depressed??
Rina: no!
Hades: *lifts a brow*
Rina: ……yes
Hades: come give your big blue boy a hug snoppy boopy bear
They kiss the end 💪🐺
#HELP IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL DAYY#Disney hades#self ship#Disney self ship#disney f/o#Disney oc#oc x canon#💙hadina⭐️#🖇random things they’d definitely say tbh‼️#🖇pumpkinzz bs selfships💗#also I’m writing a fic this week because I’m depressed and no one likes me 🙈 /nsrs?? girl idk😭#SORRY IK IVE BEEN ACTING SO….passive?? I DONT MEAN TO IDJ#IM SO LONELY BRUH#I NEED PPL TO TALK TO ABOUT THEM BUT LIEK#AND NOT EVEN JUST THAT I WANT TO TALK IN GENERAL BUT NONE OF MY FRIENDS RESPOND#I NEED TO STOP VENTING IN THE HASHTAGS BRUH ITS SAD 💀💀😭
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i’m in that type of mood where i think i’ll probably feel better if i get a good cry out but that’s not happening T_T (is at work and i’ll get embarrassed)
#txt#i have no one to vent to so i’ll just vent on my tumblr blog dot com#idk what’s wrong with me. i get like unhealthy attachments to like one person and then get extremely upset when i feel replaced#and this is like the third time this has happened to me (like third friend)#and i’m not sure how to get my brain to understand that this isn’t a big deal. anyways im just stupid#SORRY for venting. i’m just extremely sad
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.
#you can ignore#but i’m#gonna vent a little bc i’ve been feel dowwwwwn#anyways i hate that i correlate my worth to how productive i am during the day#so for work or getting things done around my house or writing#and when i can’t get things done it makes me#really sad#and i’ve been struggling so bad w writing lately and i feel so bad#not just about myself but also like i’m disappointing ppl by not posting#idk i’ll be fine i just feel so off !! sorry#anissa’s rambles ୨୧
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i would like to not wake up wanting to cry. like can we maybe not start the day like that as a default, brain. can we do that.
#imagine going to sleep and not having dreams that force you to think about the things you are consciously trying to move past#with a side dish of other sad nonsense that more than anything just makes you panicked and tired#what the fuck is even going on with me. i’m beside myself.#sorry to be venting i just don’t have people around and i don’t like the idea of burdening any one specific person#esp when there is no Solution to the Troubles but time passing and slowly caring about other shit#and the additional stress responses are idk. probably a ptsd thing i don’t care ab labeling it#last night i dreamt that for some unclear reason i surrendered my cat to the shelter and then regretted it so bad but couldn’t get her back#if you know me you know how distressing that would be#brain. why.#i don’t even have a reason to be stressed about my cat why did we bring her into this
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Just recorded myself singing and I kinda wanna give up ngl
#Sorry this is a bit sad#I’m just so frustrated#It feels like no matter how much I improve#It just sounds bad#And im lowkey terrified to sing in front of someone#So I might just not do the talent show#Idk#frog vents#I’d love to but
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period blues
#personal#i am in a terrible headspace right now#i don’t know what to do#i know this is temporary#but i can’t help but feel like it’s permanent because sadness makes you feel like it will be#it’s sadness and anger let’s be real#it’s the kind of feeling where i’m mad at the world#and everyone hates me and knows i’m useless etc etc#getting that feeling where grief manifests as an ache in my hand#an ache and a chill kinda… idk how to describe it#but it will go in a wave across my hand#either way#feeling just so… upset#and i texted my gf about it two hours ago & she didn’t respond#so i’m even more upset but i don’t want to express that to her#it just stings i guess#granted she may not be feeling great herself#and i probably didn’t phrase it in a way where she could say much#especially since i mostly mentioned being pissed off#i don’t know#either way.#feeling sorry for myself#vent post#vent#also holy shit i need to block these fuckin eating disorder tags#pissing me off. and they have for awhile
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Being critical of art is all fun and games until you are the art that is being critiqued :(
#God I was feeling so good today but duuuude I’m so scared abt the opera from purely a technical standpoint#like I’m not even stressed about fucking anything up anymore it just hit me that like. I invited people to see this and it might be bad :(#due to variables outside of my control!!!! I hate not being able to fix things#I would be less stressed if my mother wasn’t seeing it but tragically I’m proud of what /i/ am achieving so I really want her to be there!!#but I know it’s going to be SUCH a fucking let down after the other shows she’s seen at my school like#the productions she saw were SO GOOD on a technical standpoint and both of the productions this year were so bad :((((#like even conveptually I don’t even know if I’m fully convinced and I’m in the show!!!#And idk. It’s hard when you don’t have an extended family (or like much of a family at all)#so the only people coming to your show are like. Broadway technicians#the closest thing I have to an uncle is a lighting designer and a stage manager my mother knows#very fun sometimes. Other times I want to throw myself onto a pyre#Why do the stakes have to be so high why can’t they just be happy to support me :)) I shall never be the center of her world. Ah well#But also we would not be as close as we are without our shared love of theater production so. Catch-22#And at the end of the day I’m more sad that I can’t be proud of the show#it’s not anyone’s fault it just is and I need to be okay with it#I worked really hard and it matters that I’m doing this#GOD SORRY!!!#vent#portal of rambling
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Just had to block a second person who shares Fuyu as a romantic f/o. I accidentally saw their art- ngl I was pretty upset.
#I’m sorry that I can’t draw us well my love#I wish I could get over it tbh#it’s just that I get so sad that I’m not an artist myself#I’m both jealous and uncomfy seeing him with someone else + just sad cuz I can’t draw/can’t be bothered to try#idk I’m sad now 😔#fuyu💓#f/o stuff#vent
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*whimpering noises*
#sfw agere#safe agere#sfw agedre#sfw littlespace#annoying#i told you u i was gonna b insufferable 2day ;-;#went to the mall n I though I saw my crush who left my school b4 I could talk to her last year but idk n now i’m sad :<#and tired bc socialising hard#n my cramps are worse#i just want 2 curl up in a tiny little ball n be held#im sorry for basically ventposting i would never do that on my main :((#ooh I should probably tag it#vent
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Man.
#vent#(sorry for venting so much)#anyways i don’t know. things feel really weird#i’m just really sad in general right now and interacting with people feels weird#and I kinda just want to isolate for a couple of days and just not really talk to anyone#because interactions just feel so forced and I think i’ve been fucking up and acting weird every time I talk to my friends#and embarrassing myself#but then im going to get violently lonely if i isolate. but also I’m not really good at talking to people right now#and i keep fucking up#and i just. don’t want to talk to anybody#idk#i feel like i’m kinda just forcing myself to talk
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