#sorry for the rambling I am so sleepy

[jeizet]

hey! I randomly appear to show this drawing I did trying re-learn my artstyle because I'm suffering artblock!

Anyway have some Gamilou!

[gojoest]

btw pregnancy freak satoru does not play around with curses anymore, no more prolonging the fights just bc he can and it’s fun. hollow purples left and right to end the mission quickly so he can go back home to fuck his pregnant wife

[silverview]

"I think we have got some sort of insight into it. Without just thinking, Oh, these people are mad. And they love something too much."

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

TO be honest. I don’t understand what it means when people say Merlin was Arthur’s bane. Mayhaps I misunderstand but. Arthur was a bit of an assassination magnet (not to mention all those magical creatures and bandits... so many bandits), and Merlin actively prevented Arthur's death for years, which would have occured without him anway in the very first episode. I can see why one might argue that Merlin was just delaying the inevitable, or that he didn't succeed in keeping Arthur safe until Arthur could enact the golden age, but certainly I don’t see how he could have been Arthur’s bane.

Also, it’s implied in the last episode that the golden age does occur, but under Guinevere. Which makes sense as she knew Merlin was the sorcerer and that she was pleased about it (and I recall it was confirmed in interviews), so I also don’t follow the twin train of thought that Merlin was his own bane or even Camelot’s. Camelot was already bane-d(?) under Uther. But partly because of Merlin's steady friendship, Arthur matured into a king who was kinder than his father. He also actively sought magic's aid on multiple occasions, so he knew magic had potential for good (like healing his queen) without Merlin needing to tell him about his magic.

I don't think it's fair to say Camelot's laws on magic remaining relatively static was because no one close to Arthur came out as having magic. There was still much risk in that, and for Merlin a lot at stake, not just his life. A law change was still possible (and almost seemed to be set up that way) without Arthur needing someone he was personally close to having to do the work to humanize it for him (in the sense that the episodes with the druids, the druid boy with Elyan, and the dolma seemed like they were pointing to a law change because Arthur sees the diversity of magic and those who have it).

At worst Merlin’s efforts didn’t change the status quo, but we do have things indicating that they did. And Merlin was not single-mindedly serving Arthur at the expense of everyone else. He saved Camelot as a whole multiple times. He was also very willing to stick out his neck for many others even during the height of his anxiety and agitation in season 5. (Also only being slightly silly when I say this, but he was also THE wingman for Arthur when he was getting with Gwen, so in a way Merlin’s help led to their courting being a success and thus contributed to her being in a great position to change the laws. so personally I give points to Merlin for that). Most of the decisions centering Arthur's safety seemed to stem from the fear that Albion would crumble before it began if Arthur were to die, so he tried his best to prevent that from happening in any way he knew. (Like, when Arthur is dying, Merlin asks "So I failed?" regarding the whole golden age thing, which I think is telling that the prophesy and his role in it was still VERY much at the forefront of Merlin's mind).

And this is a digression but I know people think Merlin should have done more for Camelot, or for folks with magic (like, as a revolutionary or something akin), which I understand but no one reached out to network with him really? It'd require resources, people (always confused why there weren't a whole bunch more folks offering Merlin material/intellectual/emotional support if they thought he should be the one to bring about the golden age. all he was told was that the forseen way it actually happens succesfully is through Arthur), time (I doubt it’d have been much of a ‘quicker’ way necessarily), and incredible planning + foresight if it's meant to be something that works out effectively + long-term. Okay I think I've digressed enough now. This is a whole seperate thought that I don't think I'm gonna do any justice here lol, and I'm already rambling, so I'll stop now :,)

But anyway, in terms of being his own or Arthur’s bane, we know Arthur will return, and we don’t know how Merlin spent his years. His magic can play with time and maybe he learns how to control that, or he could have entered a stasis like in various legends, etc etc etc. And I mean it is tragic on many levels, and it’s sad we didn’t see Arthur’s arc completed, and that Merlin sacrificed so much for a goal that didn't get much acknowledgment by the show at the end, but still. I don’t think Merlin was Arthur’s bane, or Camelot’s, or his own.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

"if monkie kid drops in that time I will simply combust" I'm guessing you got a little toasted?

Jokes on you I've been offline all week cause I was hanging out with a friend, what'd I miss?

[capn-twitchery]

I love your ocs but I fear I am a bit out of touch with some of their lore. how much does Grace know about the red honey fuckery?

thank you sm!! :D♥︎ don't worry--i'm not sure i've actually spoken about this a whole lot!! (plus my lore is scattered around random posts like a ransom note. imagine being organised, couldn't be me)

for context: the two of them are a ridiculously slow slowburn bc neither of them know how to talk about feelings, they go in different directions a lot, twitch's response to Having Feelings (or anything) is to disappear to zee. everything takes forever. there's a summary of their timeline here if you want it !!

ANYWAY to answer:

tl;dr summary: most of the time, nothing! eventually, more than anybody else.

so, for most of the time, grace knows absolutely nothing. nobody does, really--twitch doesn't tell anybody, they don't want to talk about it, nobody sees their face at all.

as far as anyone knows, including grace, twitch's bad memory, lying & inconsistent stories are just a personality quirk. and they get sick sometimes, they just need bedrest & won't be available for a few hours, a day, a couple of days. nobody is allowed to see them.

grace remains mostly unaware for a long time--he has inklings that something is up. once he gets to know twitch better, he can tell they're not themself sometimes. but prying would push twitch away, so he just offers help, if they want company, for their headaches the surgeon mentioned. he'll leave the cabin door unlocked, just in case.

he has no idea how bad the "headaches" are until it's happening right in front of him, once they're close enough for twitch to trust him to that degree. he has no idea why it's happening, but he knows twitch doesn't want to tell him, either. and when they're sobbing in his lap, pleading for something he doesn't understand to stop, begging him to help them tie a blindfold because they don't want him to see their face, it's not exactly the time to pry.

it happens a few times. it never gets easier, and it never gets any clearer. it's not til after grace leaves for the new sequence and comes back that he finally sees their face uncovered. he doesn't connect any dots-whether that's because he genuinely just doesn't make the connection, or because twitch doesn't want him to make a big deal about it, who knows!

while he was gone, twitch starts connecting some dots: something's weird with their memories. they don't know how to process it. they bring it up subtly, ask grace if he knows anything about red honey, and maybe he can figure it out himself. he tells them he does, he learned about it during nemesis, in the palace cage gardens. it still haunts him, sometimes, the prisoners with their crying, the suffering the hollow looking eyes-

the eyes.

everything clicks all at once-twitch's eyes, their headaches, the memory issues, the inconsistencies, the lies. it only gets worse when twitch tells him they're starting to wonder if the memories are all theirs.

oh, god. how could anybody do that to them? who did that to them? but twitch doesn't want him on any kind of revenge mission, they don't even think they remember where the cage garden was, and they don't want to try either. he settles for comforting them the best he can-but what can anyone do to help, really?

at the very least, trusting someone enough to talk about it is a huge weight off twitch's shoulders. grace can help them try to figure out what's going on with their memories, it makes them better at talking to each other. it's not easy, but it helps twitch to move forward-slowly, but surely

[gemharvest]

I appreciate all forms of Ekurei but I think the strongest form is where Ekubo is still in that green wisp form and Reigen is just inexplicably Into That. During downtime in the office he pulls Ekubo down to sit on his chest as he reclines and everyone looks at him like 🤨 🤨 😐-~{🤨] and he just stares back, Ekubo cradled in his arms, and goes "Whaaaaattt..." He would kiss that spirit in front of everybody but its EKUBO who would feel way too embarrassed by that.

[soup-sponge]

i love seeing all the extra flair lockwood throws into everything he does, and i love that it's so much more noticeable when he's in mortal danger. throwing flares, fighting ghosts, fighting people etc.

but i also love that you can still see that part of him when he's at home and safe, with just lucy and george (like him tossing the bottle opener onto the fridge).

i've seen a lot of people talk about how lockwood puts on a "mask" when he's out on jobs/with people he isn't close to, but i feel like its not a mask entirely. it's more like adjusting his settings. he's still being himself, it's just tuning up certain aspects of himself, if that makes sense.

we know about his penchant for accents and disguises, we know that he does those purely for the fun of it, and to me that means that he just. enjoys being a flashy, fancy little guy whenever he gets the chance.

not to get all. philosophical. but a lot of the time people think that difference/change = dishonesty, which is just. not true. people are multifaceted!! people are complex!! maybe he isn't trying to hide his true self, maybe his true self just includes more aspects than it seems !!

obviously this doesn't mean that he's not dialling down certain parts of him when he's out fighting, just means that each version of him is just as authentic as the others, even if they're only highlighted in certain situations.

[mvalentine]

was serving slutty steve jobs for my presentation on apple today <3

oh my fuckin god she fuckin ded 💤

[coldshrugs]

heavy copacetic

[baeshijima]

sometimes i find it so funny when ppl dont properly tag their works for the reason of “oh, but then others won’t be able to see my work!” or “but if i tag it then it will spoil the twist!” (usually a darker or more… questionable twist, for a lack of better words) and so on. but that… that is literally the whole purpose of tagging? so that the ppl who have the tag(s) filtered because they dont want to see it just. wont.

like dw, ur work will reach ur audience one way or another bc theyre either following u, see it rbed on their dash, or they dont have it filtered; tho that will also have ppl who dont want to see it exposed to it so, for the love of god and the sake of our sanities, pls just list the warnings beforehand like it really isnt such a difficult concept to grasp ???

and bold it, especially if it is in the small text. the whole purpose is for it to be easily visible for the very reason that it can be avoided by readers who dont want to read it. idc if it ruins the aesthetic bc the lack of proper tagging ruins my already declining sanity :]

[straight-to-the-pain]

I know I haven’t posted any original fic in ages, I’ve been a little burnt out from uni and placement and also all the scenes I’ve been wanting to write either need research (historical fiction) or require too many emotions (everyone is traumatised) but please do bear with me there will be content… eventually… I hope

[feyd-meowtha]

You ever think about the fact that you have a dark, ugly secret that you're gonna have to take to the grave because it'd ruin your life and the life of at least one other person who you really shouldn't be worrying about but you can't stop?

Yeah, me neither.

In other news I'm about to cut Gale's fucking arm off with a hacksaw in Extinct Animals so stay tuned, it's gonna be awful, just awful.

[jounosparticles]

Tbh i don't think ranpo is confused about what other people around him feel,at least not entirely.i think he perfectly aware what others think ,he still acts arrogant and rude just because he doesn't care enough about others.He may had been in untold origins,but it's been like 12 years,he sure have improved a lot.

Also i don't know a lot about dazai,but i think although he may appreciate his past,he still won't want to talk about it.We never see him talking about his life in Mafia even after everyone in ada figured out he was in it.

about ranpo: he is incredibly intelligent, and he most likely understands other people and how they feel though his deduction.

however i seen it as many social rules not making sense to him. things such as why people act one way when they mean something else, or what the point in engaging in some sort of casual conversation before bringing up an ulterior motive, etc. that seem off to him.

i’m leaning a lot into the theory that ranpo is neurodivergent, specifically autistic here when i talk about that. social cues and understanding other people well are things many neurodivergent people struggle significantly with. as you get older, you can learn and adjust to how other people act but it doesn’t always make sense.

i’m a neurodivergent person myself, and seen myself and how i felt a lot within ranpo. i know that growing up you can learn to act how other people wish, however some social things are still completely lost to me lol. but that’s just my insight!!

about dazai: that’s a good interpretation as well! as of now, he doesn’t seem to hide his former mafioso status. there’s a chance he hid it before even for legal reasons, or just no longer wishing to be affiliated with such an organization.

you don’t have to talk about something constantly to embrace it, either. he can accept his past without speaking of it. it’s just the opposite of repressing something.

either way, you’re perfectly fine to interpret any characters however you wish!! please don’t let this post be me trying to pressure you into changing your mind or anything; i just wanted to explain my ideas. it’s great that bsd is filled with characters that can bring out complex discussion of morals as well, instead of making the characters generic and easy to figure out. thank you for your insight!! :))

[daz4i]

i think what makes dazai's background in the mafia so tragic - and so, his recovery from it more impactful - is how young he was

like. odasaku describing him like he's a cat or a kid and such. it reminds you that during the dark era he was only 18, practically a kid, if he lived a normal life he likely wouldn't even be out of high school yet, but here he is as a mafia executive

no one is bsd's universe had a normal childhood so ik it's not fair to judge by real life standards but still, being considered a ruthless demon, a torture expert, and having to lead people twice or more of your age when you've barely gone through puberty is... well it's A Lot.

I've seen posts on my dash abt how 15's anime adaptation hits less hard bc dazai just looks like his adult self there and tbh yeah i agree, i think that's another big part it ruins and makes it feel like an almost different story. it's hard to think of him as a kid when... he doesn't look like that (and he doesn't really act like that most of the time either, but that's the point, esp during the dark era)

and yeah i do think that in a sense it extends to his present self too - not that he's supposed to look younger (tho. everyone in bsd looks older than their age imo lol but that's a topic for another time, point is he's an adult and looks like an adult, albeit younger than he seems), but that viewing his past as something a KID went through makes his choice for recovery and becoming a better person stronger, imo

bsd is a story for people who aren't good at living, as asagiri said. ultimately, it is a story about hope, and wanting to live. everyone in the cast had a tough backstory, and they're all growing from it, but with dazai we see him having to actively make the choice to grow. to be good on purpose. and i think, for readers who also came from a tough background, it is an important thing to see; a story of someone having this childhood that made them bitter, and violent, and cruel - the same way a lot of us may feel at times - and choose to be good regardless. and hope for a better life. and make life better for those around them, too, as well as let these people make their own life better in return.

so, imo, really hammering in that point about his past simply makes it stick out more, hit harder. makes it harder to brush off and ignore as just another sad story that happened to a sad character, yknow? idk if that makes sense, but yeah these are my thoughts for you today.

[bespectacledbun]

oh my gods. @syneilesis i am so, SO sorry. i was up to 4 playing idv and reading fanfic and was half delirious when I sent that ask. thought I hallucinated it until I woke up to your response in my inbox but no it was very much real hfbsnsnmmamsnkdkfv

but hmmm for silvio it could be either he tries out the True University Housing ExperienceTM (aka a loudass common dorm or a shitty little apartment with roommates) OR alfio kicked him out of the house and cut his fundings so he has no other choice but a shared apartment LMAO. idk I just think the idea of silvio having to rough it out in a dinky little apartment where shit breaks once a week is very much amusing am I projecting? oh yes absolutely

also YOU ALWAYS FIND WAYS TO READ MY MIND!!!! /pos I've been messing around with the idea of a drunk ONS with beast Keith and then seeing meek Keith in class the next day and going ??? are they twins??? internally ajsjdjfkgg I think it would make for some incredibly comedic situations 😂 although before that I want to make sure I actually learn to write keith properly which is why I've been research on DID and reached out to a couple friends who I know are systems so I can properly depict him and not lean into ableist stereotypes hahsjfg which is why I'm hesitant to start anything with him juuuust yet