#sorry for the radio silence btw I am away from home and not looking at Tumblr a lot

[makarovspussy]

boutta vent about some childhood shit under the cut. cw for eating disorder-related ableist fearmongering

thinking about the time I was in elementary school and I didn't want to eat what they served in the cafeteria that day (popcorn shrimp that stank narsty and tasted worse) so I just ate three apples. bc in my child mind, apples were healthy and therefore a satisfactory substitute. and then later that day I got sick at dinner and had to throw up and when my mother and her husband asked what I had eaten that day I told them what I had for lunch. and I guess they assumed I was starving myself so without asking any more questions they made me go up to my room and they sat me down with a laptop and vomit still in my hair and showed me photos of dangerously skinny women, like downright skeletal and were like "this will be you if you don't eat ^-^"

I still hate them for that btw. I'm actually in town rn I could get my partner to drive me over there so I can put milk in their gas tanks. I could.

also the irony is I literally do have an eating disorder (arfid) but all they did about that was make fun of me for being picky. also those people were so deeply fucking fatphobic like how the fuck are you gonna get on a second grader's ass about eating apples when you're out here replacing your meals with fucking NUTRISYSTEM. bougie ass fatphobic ass bitches. I hope that bald headed bastard throws out his back doing his stupid ass P90X workouts like he's still in the fucking military god I HATE those people I HATE them I hope their house explodes

[notakugelblitz]

YOUR SONG • THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (season 1)

Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Five, Ben, Viktor

just imagine these songs being in the OST and playing during those “scenes” ;) you’re number 8 btw. english isn’t my first language so sorry if you spot any mistake. enjoy ☂️

LUTHER

/ your power : telepathy /

"I'm going to miss you..."
"I'll miss you too..."

Against his broad chest, you held back your tears as his hand gently caressed your scalp.

"We'll talk every night, won't we?"
"I promise..."

You pulled away and looked at him for a long time. He fixed his gaze on your lips, weighing the pros and cons of his intentions. Just as he was about to close the distance between you, your father burst into the room.

"It's time to go, Number 1. Clear out, Number 8, this isn't the time to distract him."

Luther finally planted a quick kiss on your cheek, leaving you breathless, a terrible frustration swelling within you.

Days, months, and years passed. Every night, you would retreat to the roof to gaze at the moon, talking to Luther thanks to your telepathy ability. You often fell asleep first, and Grace would come to cover you with a blanket when the nights grew a bit chilly. Luther loved to hum a song, Flares, as if to remind himself that you would always be there for him, sending him out flares.

DIEGO

/ your power : see the future /

A soft light filtered into the gymnasium's basement. A faint music coming from upstairs woke you up. You grumbled and stormed up the stairs. Wearing nothing but an old t-shirt belonging to your brother—and, incidentally, your boyfriend (no, thankfully, it’s not incest)—you flung the door open and saw Diego dancing with a mop in the ring. You burst out laughing, which made him jump.

"Am I dreaming, or are you laughing at me?"

You tried to respond, but tears were welling up in the corners of your eyes. Bent over with laughter, you suddenly felt warm droplets splash across your face: he had just splashed you with the mop. You stared at him for a long moment and jumped on the ring trying to catch him.

A wild fight ensued, in rhythm with the music, with the floor becoming extremely slippery due to the water. You delivered several kicks at him, which he blocked with the broomstick. It was a fight worthy of a Bruce Lee movie. Since both of you were very skilled in martial arts (and because you could anticipate each of his moves thanks to your power of visualizing the near future), you lowered your guard to let him win for once. Diego grabbed you by the waist, and you both tumbled near the entrance.

You ended up on top of each other, just like in all those wonderful clichés. Just as Number 2 was about to kiss you, the boss of the place stormed in. He flew into a rage and rushed toward the radio. Unfortunately, he slipped and crashed face-first onto the floor, making you both burst out laughing. Well... you had to clean up everything afterward, and in silence. Still, those moments of total hilarity were and still are the best ...

ALLISON

/ your power : water manipulation /

Having become a renowned actress, Allison traveled extensively. As for Patrick, he worked a lot. You were the perfect candidate to look after Claire. Having left the Umbrella Academy at the same time as your sister, you were inseparable, and whenever she returned from a shoot, you were so happy to spend time together.

Claire adored you, and you managed to calm her tantrums easily, greatly relieving Allison.

One evening, as your sister came home late, you put Claire to bed. She was having trouble falling asleep. So, you waved your finger over a glass, filling it with fresh water, and placed it on her nightstand. Then, with a soft and soothing voice, you hummed the lullaby Wendy sings to the Lost Boys in Peter Pan, her favorite cartoon. It was a routine that worked every time. Allison arrived in the middle of your performance and deliberately stayed behind the door to listen. Once Claire was asleep, you chuckled.

"I know you're there," you whispered.
"I know you know." she giggles.
"I heard a rumor that you stop spying on me."
"You know I can’t help it. It’s adorable. Thanks for everything."

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. It didn’t bother you at all. You went downstairs and opened a bottle of wine to celebrate her return. Patrick left you two alone, and you silently thanked him because these moments with your sister were the best.

KLAUS

/ your power : animal metamorphosis /

It was an evening like any other. Or at least, that’s what you hoped. You were waiting for Klaus outside the nightclub he was in so you could take him home. You preferred to be the one who did so rather than letting him leave alone in a terrible state. As the agreed-upon time had passed, you sighed and stormed out of your car. You entered the club without any difficulty, as the bouncer recognized you immediately. It had its perks to be a member of the Umbrella Academy back then. You searched the entire club for Klaus and finally found him on the rooftop. He was shouting incomprehensible things while walking along the edge of the building. You rushed to join him.

"Klaus, get down. Right now," you ordered, pulling on his sleeve.
"Oh Y/N, I’m so happy to see you!" he chirped, his persistent sniffles confirming to you that he had relapsed again.
"It’s not funny, Klaus, you could..."

Before you could even finish your sentence, he slipped off the edge of the building and fell into the void. Immediately, you transformed into a falcon and dove toward the ground, but it was too late: he had already crashed. Blood was pouring from the back of his head, but that didn’t stop you from kneeling beside him and resting his head on your lap.

"Damn it, Klaus..." you cried, pressing your forehead against his. "You’re such an idiot..."

It was as if your world had just collapsed, all because of some damn white powder and a brother who was a little too dependent. Suddenly, he took a huge breath, coming back from the dead. You were completely shocked.

"Oh! I knew you’d catch me. You always catch me," he chuckled, pressing his temple against your chest like a little child.

And then he fell asleep. You were stunned and took him back to your car. He had been dead... and then alive. High but alive. You didn’t quite understand what had just happened, and you never talked to him about it until he discovered his ability to resurrect in 1963. That explained a lot …

FIVE

/ your power : healing /

Since Five disappeared, not a day had passed without you searching for a way to find him. You studied all sorts of science books, looking for theories on time travel or anything related. Then, you expanded your research to history books, wondering if he might have done something that left a mark on time. When you were too tired to read, you helped Viktor make peanut butter sandwiches just in case he reappeared.

After leaving the Umbrella Academy when you came of age, you continued your research, scouring every library. But what you didn’t know was that a certain organization known as The Temps Commission had taken an interest in you and was considering recruiting you. Whether it was for your relentless determination, your knowledge of time travel, or your healing abilities, you could only be an asset.

When The Handler found you in an aisle of the Dallas Central Library, you immediately accepted her offer. If anyone had information on Five, it would be them. But your disappointment was immense when you found no trace of him once you were there. That didn’t stop you from continuing your search for many years, so much so that, after a while, Herb secretly helped you through the Infinite Switchboard. And that’s how you found Five, in the middle of the apocalypse. Having no right to interfere with the timeline, you begged The Handler to recruit him as an agent, just like you.

"I’ll think about it," she had said, even though she had already been watching him for 30 years.

Then, one fine day, you were summoned to The Handler’s office. Five was there too.

"Five, I present to you your partner, Y/N Hargreeves. Well, you already know each other. I’ll leave you to it."

She left the room, leaving you two standing there, arms hanging by your sides.

"I found you," he let out.

"I found you," you replied. "I trusted the signs, so I made my way back to you somehow."

"Pathetic," he chuckled, though a smile tugged at his lips.

"I'm glad to see you too, Five," you sighed, smiling just as much.

BEN

/ your power : invisibility /

As Ben was reading, an upbeat music filled the house. The 11-year-old boy went to the living room and saw Grace and you dancing the Rock'N Roll while laughing. Mom was teaching you some steps, her eternal pristine smile fixed on her face.

"Oh, Ben, you’re here! Do you want to give it a try?"

You jumped at the sight of your brother and suddenly disappeared, your cheeks turning red.

"Y/N, show yourself…" Grace sighed, amused.

"Yeah, you were doing great!" exclaimed the young boy.

You reappeared, looking at him with hesitation.

"Really?"

"Cross my heart!"

"Alright, kids, let's continue! Take my hand and follow my steps!"

So you listened to him, dancing awkwardly on the living room carpet. Your siblings watched you from the walkway. At one point, Ben let go of Mom and made his tentacles appear. He began making sort of waves in rhythm, which made everyone laugh. Your father and Pogo were in the surveillance room. The chimpanzee glanced at his master: he was smiling discreetly. Eventually, all the other children came to join you, even Viktor, who had always felt excluded. These moments of joy and freedom were rare. Your gaze met Ben's, sparkling. So, this was happiness.

After Ben's death, whenever you felt sad, your radio would turn on by itself to play that eternal song, warming your heart. Much later, Klaus told you that Ben's ghost had been watching over you and, not wanting to scare you, this was the most discreet way to comfort you.

VIKTOR

On this September 6th, 1997, everyone felt relaxed because it was Saturday, and every first Saturday of the month was a day off for the Umbrella Academy. No training until Monday. Of course, the children were encouraged to study, but that was certainly not on your mind, nor on Viktor's. As you were watching TV, sitting on the floor, a news flash interrupted your documentary on Canadian otters. Lady Diana's funeral was being broadcast live from London.

"She was so beautiful," you sighed, resting your chin on your knees, which were encircled by your arms.
"I'm sure it wasn't an accident," Viktor murmured conspiratorially, looking absent-minded.

His pale face suddenly lit up, and he immediately straightened.

"Look! It's Elton John!"

Immediately, you pressed your little noses against the screen to watch the singer enter the abbey. The presenter announced that he was going to sing a final tribute to his late best friend.

"Move away from the screen, you'll hurt your eyes," Grace gently instructed, holding a tray filled with cookies.

“Mom! Can you record this, please?" you exclaimed without even turning around.
“Of course, Number 8," she replied.
"Imagine if we could play this song ! You with the violin and me with the piano !" you giggled.

Viktor nodded with a large smile, still absorbed by the man's performance. Ever since, you've watched repeatedly the tape Grace made you, learning the partition thanks to your perfect pitch. You'd usually play along to distract your father who appreciated it. Oh he never said so but his silence was quite approving.

[yautjalover]

Excerpt from "Humanity's Last Song"

I’m back with another window into my Yautja fanfic. Below you can read the first chapter of a one-shot I wrote. There are no romance elements in it, but I hope ya’ll give it a chance if you like it. It’s available on both WattPad and Ao3. Sorry for any fucky formatting, btw. :)

_______________________

Chapter 1: Transmission

In the dead silence of space the creature listened to the primitive radio signal. The signal had been coming from the same source for weeks now. One every sixteen hours. All lengthy and spoken by a soft musical language.

With each new radio signal sent out the voice grew more desperate; pleading. Whatever alien life was on the other end had steadily grown weaker.

The creature pondered the many reasons why the voice had become so...melancholic. As if that being was nearing its inevitable ending, like everything else in life. Life was harsh and unforgiving. Only the strongest survived, especially in the creature's world.

Listening to the transmission that was parsed from the radio signal, the creature had grown to look forward to the heartbreaking tragedy playing out from somewhere far away in another galaxy. With the technology of his spacecraft he could easily reach it in minutes if he so chose to. The planet that the signal originated from was labeled primitive and considered empty of its dominate species.

A small life-supporting planet with the majority of it water logged with the remaining percent dry land. This planet had been visited before constantly by his kind, as well as himself.

For many cycles transmissions from the planet had gone silent. Drying up in a dying chorus of few and fewer signals sent out until eventually they ceased altogether.

He had been returning to his home planet when he first intercepted the radio signal from the small blue planet. The words were translated in real time through his ship's speakers. They were feminine, soft, and full of loneliness. A loneliness the creature had never heard before. Not in his centuries of living had he heard such utter hopelessness and emotion. His kind was not known for giving into their emotions. It simply wasn't possible given the harsh and dangerous lifestyle his kind lived.

Their way of life was misunderstood among other similarly advanced civilizations who could traverse the stars such as his.

It was this particular transmission that he listened to that was the nail in the coffin. The reason why he began inputting the coordinates to this small backwater planet seven thousand lightyears away. Listening to this particular transmission, it was the tone the soft alien voice used that broke through his rigid defenses.

Desperation. Fear. A silent acceptance of the inevitable.

"This is day two-thousand, two-hundred, and sixty-four. The time is half past four o'clock Eastern standard time. My name is Star. I have been transmitting to the depths of space with the hope that other civilizations won't go down the path that mine did. I am the last human. Every day the atmosphere grows too toxic for me to leave without a breathing unit. Earlier today my oxygen reservoir reached critical, leaving me with only five hours left of breathable air." A long silence stretched. The voice struggled to put together the words but kept going, fighting her own impending end. Death was at her door, yet she persisted. "If anyone out there can hear me, I'm sorry we won't be able to meet and to be honest...I'm scared. I'm scared of dying. I was left to die alone on a planet that my predecessors succeeded in killing. They killed our only lifeboat and now they're all dead. We'll all be extinct soon. Me included."

The creature's hand fisted as his ship initiated the jump that would have him orbiting the blue planet within minutes. It was his new mission to make sure this alien on this dying world would live.

His kind didn't bother with other species, hardly ever, since no one understood their way of life.

This time was different.

He felt something that he hadn't felt before. A kinship. Understanding of being utterly alone and fearing the inevitability of death.

"This is my last transmission. I leave you with a quote from the long-dead poet Dylan Thomas. 'Do not go gentle in that good night, old age should burn and rage at the close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.' This is Star, aged twenty-six Earth years, signing off for the last time. Do not go gentle into that good night."

And so it was, humanity's last song.

If the creature had anything to do about it, that is. Which he very well would.

__________________

[hopelesshawks]

Are you still taking song drabbles? If you are, then could you do "Monster" by all time low ft blackbear for Dabi? ty <3

I am!! High quality song choice btw 👀

Sorry these are taking me so long but I really hope this one and the others I’ll eventually get to 😬 are worth the wait!

Tw for depiction of a toxic relationship, disassociation, mention of (but no actual) drug addiction, mild sexual content, degradation, mentions of dacryphilia, edging, and overstimulation

“You need to leave him (y/n) this isn’t healthy.”

It’s the same spiel you’ve heard a million times before.

Every time Dabi disappears on you you’re left a mess. And every time your friends are the ones who pick up the pieces of you and put you back together again as best they can. It’s always a long, drawn out process as they force you to do the most basic of tasks like eating and showering. It almost always takes at least a month to get you to a point where you can function in public for even the briefest of moments and every time they reassemble you the end result is always just a little bit more not right. Then after weeks of radio silence he’ll come creeping back and you’ll fall right back into his arms until the cycle repeats itself.

“He’ll call. He always calls eventually,” you refute. The incredulous and exasperated look you get back is as pointless as it is expected. Your friends just don’t get it. What you and Dabi have is special right? Right. Sure he’s been a ghost even longer than usual this time but he’ll call. He will. And then it’ll be alright. And one day soon, once he’s accomplished all his goals, the two of you will runaway together, leaving Japan behind.

Except another month passes

And then another

And then another

Until suddenly it’s been a year with no word and even you have lost hope.

You make your way to your friend’s house in a fog, barely processing the world around you, feeling like your body is merely a puppet you were struggling to yank forward. You’re not even sure you fully remember the journey, just one moment you’re about to cross the main road by your house and the next you’re turning the corner to theirs. They take one look at you before pulling you into a hug and inside the apartment. It’s like the show of affection is the final straw necessary to break your loyalty to Dabi and as you sob into your friend’s arms you decide that for real this time, you’re done. You’re done waiting around for him to call you again, done waiting for him to love you the way you deserve.

So you start to move on.

You lean on your friends, focus more on work and the few healthy relationships you have left, and slowly but surely you put back the pieces of you you thought Dabi had burned to ash. The craziest part? It works. With each passing day you get better, stronger, happier, and your friends beam with pride. You’d think you were a drug addict from the way your friends would talk about you “getting clean” but you can’t find it in yourself to blame them when it feels like Dabi was your own personal brand of heroin.

It’s New Year’s now and you’re giggling in the cab with your friend on your way home from the New Year’s Eve celebration you’d both attended. You feel light and bright from the champagne you’d sipped and the city lights are just a blur outside the window. When you finally do arrive, you slip out of the car, stumbling slightly and still giggling as your friend waves goodbye from where they’re still seated. You turn to walk to your door but your friend calls out to you, drawing your attention back. They’re half leaning out the car’s window, the cab driver looking thoroughly annoyed by now but your friend doesn’t care as they grin at your drowsily. “I’m so fucking proud of you (y/n),” they beam and the smile you give them back is even more radiant than the fireworks you’d watched earlier. As the taxi finally pulls away someone starts setting off another round of fireworks so you redirect your gaze to the sky as you turn back towards your front door. When your eyes slide back down, however, you notice a figure leaning against your front door, illuminated only by the explosions bursting above you. As you take a hesitant step closer your eyes suddenly meet familiar electric blue ones and your blood runs cold. Another firework bursts and in the resultant light you can more clearly see the scars and the condescending smirk.

“Hey Doll, miss me?” Dabi asks, smirk widening.

You’ve imagined this moment in your head quite a few times over the past year of healing. Sometimes you’d imagine yourself screaming at him, cursing him for making you waste years of your life trailing after him, coming up with swears no one had ever heard before just to express your hatred and anger for him. Sometimes, and these had been your favorite scenarios, you imagined yourself being completely indifferent to him, shrugging off his words and respectfully asking him to leave. You liked imagining you were so far removed, so thoroughly over him, that you didn’t even care anymore that he’d returned.

It turns out you do neither of those things.

Instead, without your say so, you find your feet carrying you towards him, slowly at first and then suddenly you’re running. You throw yourself into his arms and as he chuckles the vibrations through his chest and into yours rattle the pieces you’d worked so hard to mend in his absence and send them all shattering again. He is your weakness, your kryptonite, and you are helpless to his innate magnetism. So you let him inside your home and you don’t question why he abandoned you for two years and you don’t yell or scream or dismiss him at all. You let him tug you to your bedroom and treat you as if no time has passed.

He’s balls deep inside you, having just bottomed out, when you start crying. He doesn’t really care, but you’re blubbering unattractively and that’s not the kind of crying he’s looking for right now. He wants tears slipping down your cheeks from how full you feel, from being denied your orgasm when you’re so close, and then again from having too many once he’s decided you’re allowed to cum. He doesn’t want whatever emotional bullshit you’re spewing right now as your hands find his cheeks. Your glassy eyes stare into his and all he can think about is how pathetic you look as you force your sobs down enough to make whatever stupid point you’re trying to.

“Please just…. Tell me that you love me even if it’s fake,” you finally whimper.

He laughs in your face.

“You really are a pathetic little whore,” he continues to chuckle and it fucking hurts but then he’s continuing, “but you’re my pathetic little whore. I love you (y/n).”

And just like that you’re hooked again.

Later that night when he’s finally been sated and you’re curled up on his chest, you can’t help but think about how disappointed your friends would be; how disappointed the you from only a few hours before would be, if they could see you now. You don’t mean to voice your next words out loud but they slip from your lips unbidden just like the tears pouring out of your eyes and wetting your cheeks:

“Why do I run back to you like I don’t mind if you fuck up my life?”

Dabi doesn’t answer.

He just smirks.

General Taglist: @ahtsuwu @oikawaandkuroostan @oliviasslut @black-rose-29

[votederpycausemufins]

I’m tired and I’m not really sure how to write Fundy, but here you go. BTW, i already have a solution planned for them getting in, so if anyone can send me an ask on what they think the solution is uhhhhhh idk you get a cookie or something.

@petrichormeraki​

Grum was just finishing up the first floor of their new base when someone approached him from behind. “Hey there, haven’t seen you around before.”

Grum didn’t turn to face them, just continuing to build, though he did catch what looked like a fox tail in the corner of his vision. “That would make sense. I am new to this world along with my brother.”

“Is that so? Met many people yet?”

“Three people. No wait, four. The admin of this world of course visited us due to us being new arrivals. There was a ghost that first greeted us upon our arrival. A Sheep hybrid named Puffy has been giving us temporary housing until this place is complete. Finally we met with a man in a creeper mask known as Mister Sam who assisted us with a redstone issue.”

“I’m sorry, ‘Mister Sam’?”

“Correct. I wish to not upset my brother as the stories he has heards from bzzt about bzzt leave the association with the name do sometimes cause problems.”

“I’m sorry what the fuck was that?”

Now Grum turned to look at the person, wondering what the problem was. Immediately the person jumped back and Grum could see they were a fox hybrid which was clearly on display from their fur being extremely puffed up. Obviously, they were scared of something, so Grum looked around and found nothing. “You seem frightened. May I ask what is causing your concern?”

“What’s up with your face?!”

“You mean my monitor? That is because I am a robot. Unlike what I assume would be everyone else on this server excluding my brother, I was not born but built. Or perhaps you are referring to my small stature and voice seeming to belong to someone young while I have the bzzt of my bzzt.”

Slowly the fox hybrid was calming down, though Grum could tell he was still on edge. “Uh so, you just met with Dream, right? You’re not like… he wasn’t the one to create you?”

“No. My creators are bzzt and bzzt. They made me for bzzt bzzt but after that was over, they bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt until bzzt bzzt and thus took my brother and I to bzzt and made our bodies.”

“Are you doing okay? Is your wiring fine or…?”

“I believe it should be fine. I could allow you to take a look if you wish.” The hybrid seemed to be much calmer now and his tail swished in minor excitement. “I will go to a place to turn off so you can safely look at my wiring. Please do not cause any damage…. I am sorry, I did not catch your name.

“The name’s Fundy. What’s yours?”

“My name is Grumbot.”

“Cool. That stand for anything?”

“Correct, the name of course comes from me being a robot, but it is also a combination of bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt.”

“...Good to know.”

Grum walked inside the barely finished building and sat on his bed next to the charger before turning himself off. He was slightly worried about something bad happening while vulnerable to this Fundy person, but they just seemed a bit curious which was perfectly fine.

When in sleep mode, Grum had dreams, but never really while completely powered off, which was odd when he had one. He was playing a game with someone who was getting more and more frustrated that they didn’t know the password he had thought of. They tried his name, his server name, Jrum’s name, his dads’ names, a lot of names. But then also things he liked, like building and making music and hearing his brother talk about redstone.

“Did you see anything in there?!”

“No! No I swear I didn’t see anything that would give us any answers!”

Grum laughed, they were getting so frustrated. And it seemed like now there was a bet going on for who could figure it out first. He wasn’t sure what the first person would get out of it, but it sounded like the second would get a phone call with a famous redstone person. Maybe Jrum knew who it was.

“Please! I’ll keep trying to figure it out. Maybe he’ll be able to tell us once he’s awake or something just please let me have the communicator!”

Once who was awake? Who were they talking about? A third person who wanted to join the game? Well, perhaps they would continue the game until they arrived. It didn’t seem like these two were getting close to the answer at all. He asked if they were going to keep guessing.

But then he woke up. He was no longer in bed, Grum assumed he was moved when Fundy was looking at him. The admin was also here. “Oh, hello there Dream. I am sorry if I was unavailable. Fundy was worried I had an issue and wanted to make sure I was doing well.

“Yeah, I saw. Asked Fundy to check something for me too. We ran into a small issue, but nothing major.”

Grum tilted his head. “What was the issue?”

“Well, we tried to access something and it completely locked us out.” Fundy answered, Grumbot wondering why the hybrid sounded nervous.

“The only things that should lock you out are my files, and only the most important files. Ones that could cause me great harm if they were messed with. I ended up locking them away after meeting bzzt again, but I made sure that they can be accessed during emergencies through a password.”

“What’s the password?” Fundy asked, before quickly adding on a clarification. “Uh, y’know in case uh, it’s like one of those ‘too weak’ passwords.”

“Oh, I do not believe it is. While there is potential for it to be too weak, it is something that those I am close to would know, thus making it a perfect password since if you were someone who knows the password, I would know it would be safe for access.”

“Riiight. Hey anyway, Dream. Does this mean I-”

Dream threw something at Fundy. “Knock yourself out. One call for every time you help me with this.”

“R-Right.”

Grum tilted his head, curious about why Fundy seemed so on edge. “If it is an important call, you can take it here. I would not mind. I also do not have to pay attention if it is a private call as many of my functions will be focused on building this starter base.”

“I’m sorry, starter base? This is already pretty huge.”

Grum looked back at the single floor he had built. “Correct. I would like for it to have ample room for the resources my brother and I collect.”

“Ah, right. Forgot about the… two of you thing.”

“That does remind me that I should contact him to see how he is doing. He likes to get himself into trouble and I would not like for him to find a way to lose another life.”

“I’m sorry, another?! You guys have been here how long and he’s already lost one?!”

“There was an issue in our creation. Both of us have lost a single life in attempting to be recognized in this world. So theoretically, we both started with two lives.”

The hybrid looked like he wanted to say more, but didn’t until starting to walk inside. “Uh, I think I’ll take your offer on going inside to take this call.”

“Very well.” Grum nodded and then he pulled out his blocks, ready to continue building.

“Grian stop! You’re just hurting yourself even more!” Mumbo held Grian’s arm, trying to pull him back to the ground while also dodging the flapping wings.

“No! I… There’s… know that… I’m…I know there has to be a way in there! I’m a Watcher! I can get in there!”

“Mate, just let us go in there.” Phil spoke up. “The four of us are supposed to be in the SMP. If you can’t get in for some reason, I’m sure we can.”

Grian shook his head. “Those two are Mumbo and I’s kids! If anyone is going in there to bring them home, it’s going to be us!”

“And so what? We can just go in and at least fix whatever Dream did so you can get in.” Tubbo suggested.

“Absolutely not!” Grian finally landed to directly focus on Tubbo. “I am not letting any of you back there after the horror stories so many of us here have heard! Especially not Tommy!”

“Aww come on big man! We all know what the fuck we’re getting into. Besides, we haven’t been gone that long. Well I have, but I’ll just stay in the shadows or something.”

“That’s even more of a reason for you not to go!” Grian shouted before looking at Phil. “You have to agree with me on this, right?!”

“Well…”

“Are you sERIOUS?! We have gone over this already. I’m sick of hearing you being a sucky parent. I don’t need to see it too! Especially after Mumbo said you were going to try and fix it!”

“Tommy was able to get through all of that and he’s willing to go back to help you. He may not be officially an adult, but he’s not an absolute child.”

“Hey Grian?”

“Not now Mumbo. He didn’t get the chance to be a child because of everything the people there put him throu- I said not now!” Grian whipped his head around to look at Mumbo who was looking quite serious.

“Grian. Stress sent a message. Iskall got a call from someone who they’ve had complete radio silence from for a few months now. Someone that has come up in a few discussions.”

“If it’s not the boys, I don’t care.”

“It’s Fundy. And he’s trying to get help from Iskall on some redstone wiring that is my design. Specifically what I used for the boys.”

“Oh that’s not fucking good.” Phil said first, while Grian was in too much shock.

“G, please, we need to fucking go there. We don’t have any fucking time to wait for you to find a new solution!”

“N-No… If you go there… then…”

“We’re going there whether you want us to or not. Only reason we’re not gone yet is because you’re holding us up.” Techno spoke up, crossing his arms. “Leave Tommy here if you want, but send the rest of us.”

Grian looked conflicted, but Mumbo put a hand on his shoulder. “Look, I don’t like it either, but I don’t like any of this. We said we’d be there for the boys, and right now, us being there is not being there and using up more time to try and find a way in, okay?”

Grian hesitated, but eventually sighed and relented. “Okay. I’ll send you guys over.” And he uses his Watcher powers to send the group of three into the- “Wait.”

“What’s wrong now?” Techno asked, rolling his eyes. “We don’t need you changing your mind now.”

“You can’t get in either.”

“We what?!” Tubbo asked, half shouting from confusion.

“I mean you’ve also been blacklisted. It doesn’t make sense. I… why would you three get blacklisted?”

“Are you saying that none of us really can’t get in?”

Grian hesitated. “Well, obviously yes. I-”

“You haven’t tried it with me yet.” Tommy spoke up.

“No! You are the last person who should be going there alone!”

“But I can get in, can’t I? Dream’s always been obsessed with me. I won’t be blacklisted. I can guarantee it.”

“Absolutely not! What happened to you always saying you never wanted to go back?”

“It’s gonna be one time and it’ll be quick. And I can get back out, I’ll just do what I did last time!”

“Tommy you don’t know what you did last time!” Grian ruffled his feathers angrily. “You are not going and that’s final!”

“Then what the hell are we supposed to do?” Tubbo asked. But Grian didn’t answer.

Iskall and Stress were flying towards the coordinated Mumbo had given to Stress. As they flew, she did her best to help make sure Iskall didn’t crash into anything as he continued the conversation they were having with Fundy. “Are you absolutely sure he doesn’t have a mustache or anything?”

“Yeah! It’s just a fucking smiley face like Dream has!”

“Okay and you still haven’t seen Jrum?”

“No. I’ve tried asking this guy but he won’t stop building and I sort of don’t want to press his buttons too much.”

“Can you contact anyone else about him?”

“Uh… lemmie check with Puffy. Fuck I hope this doesn’t mess things up with you.”

“Look, if he takes your comm away again, Grian can find a way into your server. My only surprise is he isn’t there already.” Iskall looked up, glad they did so at the right time to straighten their flying. “Any idea if Mumbo isn’t with Grian?” 

“I messaged both o’ them love. And I doubt they’d be apart right now. Somefink must be up.”

“Hey Iskall, don’t want to worry you much more, but I’ve also been told to try and find this kid’s password to his important files. I know It’s probably not wise to mess with those, but at the same time, that could be the only way to fix him.”

Iskall sighed. “I wouldn’t know that. That’s gotta be something only Grian and Mumbo know. They haven’t told us much about that, Stress and I especially.”

“That’s- oh shit!”

“What?! Fundy what’s going on?!”

“The kid. Fuck. what the fuck’s going on with him? I… Is that the password?”

“Fundy!” Iskall shouted, getting the hybrid’s attention this time.

“He suddenly fell off the area he was building. His face is going crazy. Like it's how I’m seeing it, then how you describe it, then it’s just a big heart, and he’s just repeating the word gorgeous.”

“He’s what?!” Iskall was so startled they nearly had their elytra close from how they jerked in surprise. “Fundy you need to turn him off and open him up. We’re almost to Mumbo so he should be able to help walk you through it.”

“Okay I-” Fundy’s voice cut out.

“Fundy? Fundy?! Dammit!”

“Try calling him back?”

“I’m trying!” Iskall shouted in frustration. “It’s not going through!”

“Well I see everyone up ahead. I’m sure they can fink of somefink.”

“I hope so.”

Jrum was humming as he walked towards where the charger had been placed. He took a slight detour on the way there to play in a pond, but now he was almost back. He could even see what Grum had been building from this distance. It would be a nice place to stay while they tried to get home. Or waited to be brought back home. It wasn’t like no one was trying to rescue them. They had lots of people who loved them. Even if they had been left alone for a while… Him stuck in the shopping district… not completely sentient during that time… and his brother left in a box���

Well, he shouldn’t dwell on that. He was almost to the house and he would use the furnace and cook some clay he had gathered. Jrum may not have been the best builder, but he liked to help with accents here and there. And there was clay in the pond so they could have some flower pots. Jrum had even found a nice little sprout in his inventory that he hadn’t remembered picking up, but it was very pretty!

“Gruuuum! I’m back with lots of stuff!” There wasn’t an immediate answer so he yelled again. “Gruuuuuum! Stop building and look at what I-” He finally got past the doors and found Grum in bed with a fox person who had opened his repair hatch and was looking through it. “Hi there! Who are you?”

The fox looked up and at Jrum. “Oh thank god you have a mustache.”

“Uh, yeah? Did something happen to Grum’s?”

“Yeah, you could say that. He’s got a password on some important files and I think I need to access those to help him. Please tell me you know what it is.”

Jrum rubbed his chin before nodding. “Yeah! I can put it in for you! But you need to turn him on enough for me to use it.”

“Right. Fuck… what did we do before. Uh…” Fundy did something and Grum turned on. “Okay yes! There we go!”

Jrum looked at his brother whose face was fuzzy. “Hi Grum! We need to get to your important files because you’re a little sick or something. Can we see them?”

“Those files are protected and require a password to access.”

“Well I have the password!” Jrum said before leaning in to where Grum’s ears were, getting right near the pinhole opening of a microphone. He made sure to be very quiet so that the fox person couldn’t hear him since hybrids like that usually had better hearing. “The password is Mumbo4Mayor.”

Jrum leaned back as Grum processed what had been said. “Password has been accepted. Files can now be accessed.”

Jrum watched as in front of the fuzzy image of his brother’s face, files and programs appeared like his monitor was the desktop of a regular computer. It made Jrum wince a little, just another reminder of what they were. Maybe that was why no one had shown up. They could just be replaced. They-

“You okay there?” Jrum looked up to see the fox person looking at him.

“Yeah! Thank you for helping my brother!” The bot held out his hand for a handshake. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, I’m Fundy.” He shook Jrum’s hand, having some trouble as the sort of lego esque hands and his paws made the whole thing a little difficult.

“Fundy? And you’re a fox hybrid?”

Fundy nodded. “Uh, yeah. Sort of obvious.”

“And your dad is named Wilbur and your grandpa is named Philza?” Jrum continued to question.

“Yeah, who told you about that?” The hybrid narrowed his eyes skeptically.

“Grum! He knew ‘cause of grandpa having been a king or something.”

“Okay? How does that fit into knowing that?”

“Because Philza’s my grandpa too!”

Fundy’s mouth opened in shock and he stood there for a few moments before finally speaking. “... He’s what?”

“So. W-What do you do for fun here?”

“Think of things I’ll do once I get out, get myself killed sometimes to see if I can glitch myself out, yell at my dad over and over again and hopefully annoy him into giving me company. Usually he doesn’t because I think he’s still scared I’ll try to kill him again.”

“Isn’t he like, literally death itself or something?”

“Yeah! And the fact that I can actually probably kill him scares him!”

“Alright… uh, what else do you do?”

“Hmmm… sometimes I like to scream until my throat is raw, other times I try swinging around, uh, then there’s messing with food delivery when it comes.”

“Wait shit, you’re supposed to be here! What if I starve because I don’t get food delivered to me?”

“Eh, technically I could let myself die to send you something, but I probably won’t.”

“What? Why not!”

“Because hopefully you die and respawn at spawn so you can come and free me!”

“What?! I don’t know if I’ll even respawn, much less out of this place. I don’t really understand all this hels dimension bullshit so I might not even respawn if I die here.”

“Oh you will. I have tried multiple times to kill your kind and it never works. Though I suppose EX was admin and NPG’s a robot or some shit.”

“So I still might die and not come back? I don’t want to end up stuck like the bots are!

“Oh stop complaining, it could be worse.”

“How? How could it possibly be worse?”

“I’ve been in here alone for a couple years now. You at least have company. I have to keep yelling for Death to show up.”

“Wait. Wait maybe he can let me out! He comes If I call him!”

“You’re not his son.”

“I mean, technically I am. Here. I call the angel of death. … Oh come on Phil! I call the angel of death! … Phiiiiiiil! I call the angel of death! I call the angel of death! I call the angel of death!”

“Oi, can you stop that?”

“Phiiiil!”

[hanniiesuckle17]

Remember I Love You

A/n: This is my first time writing for our Lee Know! So I hope you like it! I adjusted the age a little bit so the hate would be a little more realistic I hope that's okay :)  (this is not edited btw sorry if there are spelling errors, I type fast)

Requested by: @petalskook​ (thank you for requesting bb!!!)

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: mentions of hate? nothing else maybe cussing?.....

Member: Lee Minho

Summary: Being a Soloist attracts a lot of attention. The focus now seems to be on the age gap between you and your boyfriend Minho. While it seems small to him, you can’t help but focus on what the media and fans are saying. Minho has to remind you what he sees instead of what the public sees.

Genre: angst, fluff, romance, idol!au

The green room was surprisingly hot. Sweat dripped down the back of your neck as you looked up at the TV screen. The MCs were commenting on the stage you just did and clips of you dancing with your back up dancers showed behind them. “Miss Y/n, you got a text message.” A staff member said handing you your phone. 

You smiled seeing a text from your boyfriend, Minho. He was set to go on stage a few acts after you but had to stay with his members. Quickly you responded before flipping over to Twitter to post about the stage. You were shocked to find your name already trending. 

Curious, you slid your finger over to the tag and scrolled through the first couple of posts. They seemed to all be about you and Minho. Your relationship was no secret. The two of you had been completely honest since the beginning. 

I can’t believe our Minho is dating such an old Ajhumma 

Fans Wonder About the Age Gap Between Stray Kids Lee Know and Soloist Y/n

Y/n should just stick to people her own age and leave Minho to us

She is way too old for someone like Minho. Her career is pretty much at its end soon anyway. #CancelY/n 

Isn’t she embarrassed to be dating someone younger and more successful than her?

Running a hand through your hair, you tossed your phone onto the couch beside you. The age gap wasn’t that big of a deal, was it? You thought nothing of it and you assumed Minho didn’t mind. You weren’t that much older than him. There was hardly a year's distance between your ages. 

“Y/n, do you want to stay and watch the stages or are you going back to the company?” Your manager asked you with a busy but kind smile. You thought about it for a moment, your eyes glancing at the phone once more. For some reason, you just felt like hiding from the world under your covers. Your shoulders felt oddly heavy now and your chest felt like there was an invisible weight on it.

“I think I’m just going to go home if my schedule is done. Will you tell Minho that I wasn’t feeling well and that I am sorry I missed his stage?”

Your manager smiled and checked your schedule before giving you the okay to leave. After giving the stylists your stage clothes back you changed and hopped in the car that would take you home. The radio played softly as one of your security detail drove you home. Your ears picked up Minho’s name mentioned.

“Oh Yes! He was on the show last week right?”

“Apparently, his girlfriend is going viral on SNS.”

“She is a little old for him.”

“She is so fierce onstage; do you think she makes him do everything at home too?”

“Oh, Noona! Why? Can’t I choose what film to watch??” The host said in a mocking voice.

“I could never date a woman older than me. I would hate not feeling masculine like that.”

You sighed and tried to ignore the jokes they were making and stared at the passing city scenery. No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t get their annoying voice out of your head. “Joonhee, can you please turn off the radio.” He nodded politely and switched off the radio. You rode the rest of the way home in silence. 

You could usually handle the hate about you or your relationship, but this was just intense for one day. You sighed seeing photographers outside of your apartment. “Should I escort you inside?” Joonhee asked, ready to get out of the car.

“No, I’ll be fine. Thank you, Joonhee!” You put on a fake smile and thanked him before gathering your bag and exiting the vehicle. Thankful you left on your stage makeup, you waved to some of the reporters you knew. However, there were quite a few journalists shouting at you for a comment on the articles about you and Minho. Choosing to stay silent you simply smiled and walked into your building.

Thank goodness for doormen and security. This was just too much for one day. You glanced at your phone as you waited for the elevator to climb it’s way to the eighth floor. No text from Minho; which wasn’t unusual. He was probably performing now and had schedules later. However there several notifications from Twitter and Instagram. 

The ding of the elevator brought you back to reality. Finally, you could be safe in your own apartment. Away from reporters and rumors and people who hated you for no reason. Having had enough of the world, you placed your phone on the kitchen counter and shut it off fully. 

With tired and sluggish movements you wiped off your makeup in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes stopped on your forehead seeing a couple wrinkles you hadn’t noticed before. Most likely from stress but your mind couldn’t help but remind you that you were aging faster than Minho.

With yet another heavy sigh you threw the hand towel in the sink and flipped off the lights. Your heavy body flopped onto the couch and stayed there for the next ten minutes. Eventually finding the motivation to do so, you reached for the remote and turned on the television to a random channel. Some drama you had seen probably a million times was playing. 

The hours passed by as if time was moving through tar or glue. You watched as the shadows grew longer across your apartment floor and the sun slowly disappeared, leaving you in a dark apartment. You were hungry but not hungry enough to get up to go to the fridge. You were cold, but not cold enough to go get a blanket. So instead you sat there on your couch, staring mindlessly at the TV. 

The front door opened with a loud noise and your boyfriend charged into the room, his brows furrowed. “Hey! Not answering messages and calls is my thing! I’ve been texting and calling you for the past three hours. What’s the deal?” You blinked as he turned on a lamp, eyes not used to the light from being in the dark. 

“Sorry...”

He stared at you in disbelief. Sorry? That was all he got? You just didn’t really feel like talking or doing anything really. You hated to admit it, but the comments had gotten you pretty depressed. He watched you shift on the couch under his unrelenting gaze. 

“Is it your time of the month or something? What’s up with you?”

“Minho- just leave me alone. I have had enough of today.” Having reached your already short limit, you got up off the couch and headed to the bedroom. His grip on your arm stopped you. 

“Y/n-...what’s wrong? Tell me.” 

His voice softened and he looked a little concerned. His thumb brushed the skin of your arm softly. It was Minho’s way of saying: I’m comforting you but I’m too badass and tsundere to actually do anything so I’ll do this instead.

“Minho, I’m not in the mood. Just go do your own stuff.” You said pulling away from your boyfriend. Before you could even reach the hallway he called out again.

“Y/n L/n, if you don’t tell me what the hell is wrong in the next ten seconds I’m withholding sex for the next three weeks.”

You turned slowly and rose an eyebrow at his words.

“Minho- honey, you are in no position to make that demand.”

He sighed when you turned back around and entered the bedroom. Starting to get a little frustrated, he followed and shut the door behind him. Your back was to him as you sat on your side of the bed. He noticed how heavy your shoulders looked and how tired you seemed. You were so full of energy when he saw you perform. What was wrong?

The sounds of his footsteps padded across the room. He kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his. Your eyes stayed focused on your lap, not wanting to look at him. “I’m doing my best not to be frustrated with you because I know you are hurting. I’m trying to help, my love.” His voice was gentle as he stared at your sorrowful face. You let a few more minutes of silence pass before deciding Minho wasn’t going to give up anytime soon. 

“Do you think I’m too old?”

The question kind of shocked him. He definitely had not expected this to be what was wrong. Were you too old? What kind of bullshit was that? You started to pull your hands away when he stayed silent. Quickly, he grabbed them back and laced his fingers with yours

“Too old for what? To win another Song of the Year? No. To order off the kid's menu? Yes.”

He smiled seeing your lips threaten a tiny grin. “I’m being serious, Minho. Am I too old for you.” He looked in your eyes, a sad smile coming over his face. It hurt him that you would say something let alone believe something like that.

“Why would you say such a thing?”

“All these articles and posts are saying I’m too old for you. That dating an older woman makes you less of a man or something. Do I really do that?”

Minho scoffed and sat next to you on the bed. “Y/n, we are both in our early twenties. You are not too old for anyone. I would still love you if you were thirty-two and I was twenty.”

He sighed, seeing your gaze drift away from him. He pulled your hands closer, making your attention come back to him. “Don’t listen to them, pabo. Listen to me. I love you. No matter what. Even when you don’t answer all thirteen of my calls.” He smiled finally seeing you laugh. 

“So- Repeat after me. I,”

“I,”

“Y/n L/n,”

“Y/n L/n.”

“Will never ever question my incredibly hot boyfriend’s love and affection ever again because of internet douchebags.”

He smiled seeing you fully laugh, eyes sparkling again. You sighed, this time with relief as you looked back at your boyfriend. Your kind, somewhat unorthodox boyfriend. “I promise.” It was his turn to laugh when you kissed his cheeks in thanks.

Requests are open my lovelies! Just send an ask or message me!

Masterlist

[myriadimagines]

Oh god, men who are saying we misinterpret... 😂 Brought me a funny memory.

When I first had a irl crush 7.5 years ago, I actually came forward to him (he was my classmate) and told him I really like him/said it straight to his face that I have a big crush on him because we had had fun together and for example, he always waited for me at the train station when I came to school and literally RAN to me when I got out of the train and he always wanted to walk with me back to the class after lunch etc so my friends told me to go for it and see what happens. He got super confused, but the next day he messaged me being like "I'm sorry for getting confused yesterday. But I have feelings for you too."

Well we had a very nice time for a couple of months which included a lot of staring, blushing and smiling at each other and goofing together and having Facebook messaging with stuff like "I missed you at lunch ❤️" from him (after I couldn't go to school because train operators were on a strike) and EVERYONE IN OUR SMALL SCHOOL SHIPPED US, students and teachers and even the school cleaning lady, they called us JJ because his name also began with J 😂 (there was about 30 people total in our school) And my teacher told me afterwards that he saw that there's something going on between us and purposefully paired us for assignments etc.

Then my crush apparently developed a crush on our class assistant (at least that's what it looked like) and shortly after that he sent me a very frustrated toned message claiming that his sister had written that message to me where he confessed he has feelings for me too, and I had just misinterpreted all that cute behavior and wanted me to stop talking with him. 😅 Yeaaaaah right. So his sister apparently took over his body too and he couldn't help it????

I guess that was a psychological kick to my gut because I haven't been crushing on anyone real since that one.

I saw him at a pizza place 2.5 years ago on his birthday btw and he just stared at me and I just tried so hard to keep my face static so I wouldn't show that I recognized him... I don't know what he was doing here because everyone is like "where the frick is that???" when I tell them where I live and then J just appears at the local pizza place on his birthday??? He lives 70 kilometers away from me in a city so I doubt he came all the way here just to eat pizza 😂 This place literally doesn't have anything else than that, two small grocery stores, a small gym and pharmacy.

Just telling you this for peer support and maybe for laughs 😅

JENNI PLSSSSSSSSSS omg first of all i am so sorry men are so confusing and this is just such a prime example sakjdhsajk but also this is almost the same as what happened to me and this guy???? im putting this under the cut bc its so long and messed up BAHHAHA

granted we never explicitly confessed feelings for one another but we would hang out at school all the time, sit next to each other on the bus (AND HE’D LET ME REST MY HEAD ON HIS SHOULDER) and he lives like 2 streets behind my house so he’d walk me home and everything. he’d get weird when i hung out with other guys and would incessantly tease me about it to the point where i was just like ok maybe i shouldn’t. and i ended up going over to his house all the time because we were studying for our exams together but we’d just watch tv and lay on the couch and talk. i met his dad and even my mom asked if we were dating and our english teacher also asked my friend after we all graduated if we got together and it makes me scream!!!!! but then right when we graduated he started dating another girl in our class (i had to find out from mutual friends which was so shitty akjsdhaksd bc he never talked about it with me, even long after i found out). and i was like damn that sucks but whatever, i never told him how i felt. but we still kept in touch and when i moved away for college he hugged me and told me how much he’d miss me, and i just start to move on bc we obviously cant get together. 

fast forward to a semester into college, he’s messaging me all the time about how he misses me and asking when i’ll be back, i come home for break, and its radio silence. dude doesn’t message me until the end of break where he asks to hang out, and i find out later that the day he asked to hang out was the day after his girlfriend left to go back to college. we hang out, i leave to go back to college, and we text for a bit more before he stops talking to me completely. we don’t talk for like a year and a half and i find out it’s because he girlfriend didnt want him talking to me anymore and he freaking deleted my number. 

we somehow get back in touch through our mutual friend but he’s still with his girlfriend and whenever we hang out he lies to her about where he is. im super uncomfy and debating if i should cut him out bc i dont like him sneaking around his gf like that for no reason since we’re just friends. but at this point he starts getting weird and affectionate and telling me he wants to go to nyc to visit me, and always randomly asking me if i have a boyfriend. he gets on my case all the time about not replying to his texts fast enough and eventually he hits me with the whole ‘i love you so much’ situation after he got a good grade in his exam and was sharing it with me (which is so weird bc why would u say that while celebrating your grade). at that point i start really distancing myself, and eventually stop talking until recently :)

his gf even reached out to me to talk the whole situation through but honestly they’ve both got issues and im terrified of them both. 

i recognise my own part in this situation about sneaking behind his gf’s back but i just.................................................................. it was a lot. 

[thehunterwithanangel]

Not Done Yet A Destiel One Shot for post 15x18 and what I want to happen (but probably wont)

Ship: Destiel (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Word Count: 4,362

Written by: thehunterwithanangel

Notes/Warnings: Very angsty Dean but ends drowning in fluff, some language

The words played on a loop in Dean’s head for what felt like hours before he could process them, at least that’s how he felt; ‘I love you…’ ‘I love you…’ ‘I love you…’ over and over again.

For a brief moment Dean sat in total denial, there’s no way Cas, his Cas actually just said that, only he did and now he was gone. Dean started to cry, and not just a few tears, he started to sob; at first he told himself it was from the shock, but once that settled and he was still left feeling like somebody had just ripped his heart from his chest, he knew it was more. Dean shut down, as he always did when something highly emotional happened, and next thing he knew Sam and Jack were shaking him back to reality.

 Dean wasn’t sure how long he’d been sat there but time was irrelevant to him the moment Cas disappeared into the empty; in fact, nothing at all mattered to him right then because all he could focus on was those three words, still on loop what must actually be hours later. Dean also wasn’t sure how he got back to the bunker, he guessed Sam drove Baby when he realised Dean was in no fit state to drive (he would have to argue with him about that some other time); but here he was, staring at his bedroom ceiling feeling so unfathomably empty, and not the fun ‘give zero fucks’ soulless way, in the way that makes you disconnect from your own body mentally because being in it is just too painful…

 Three days went by with Dean staying much of the same way, only really talking to say ‘Cas is gone, the empty took him’ and multiple counts of ‘go away’ and ‘leave me alone’. Dean didn’t eat or drink, he barely even slept because every time he closed his eyes, there was Cas saying ‘I love you…’ all over again; the only time he ever got any sleep was after many hours of disassociating and silent sobbing...

 The thing is, even though Dean was clearly devastated, he refused to admit to himself as to why. Why even though he’d lost Cas before, hell, had Cas die before, that this time was different; in the back of his mind he knew, of course he knew, but admitting to himself he knew only meant opening himself up to more pain right now and he just couldn’t do it, not now…

 It had been a month since Cas had been gone, physically Dean was okay again, thanks to many, many, many, attempts to get him being a human again from Sam and Jack; Mentally though, he was still destroyed, still refusing to talk about Cas or anything that happened that day, and despite pushing him a couple times, the others knew it wasn’t going to work, he would talk when he was ready, if he was ever ready.

 It had gotten to the point that the others wondered if Dean had completely repressed what had happened though, because his level of fine-ness was almost too much. Little did they know it was quite the opposite.

 A normal day, normal routine, normal conversations, everything was normal to everyone, except Dean. Dean felt almost itchy as he could feel the pain clawing it’s way back to the surface, ready to ruin him again; and his time he didn’t know if he would survive it. So Dean made some excuse about needing pie and took off driving, maybe if he could distract himself with Baby long enough he could push away the hurt once more; at least that was his plan…

 For a couple hours it worked. He kept his feelings at bay and enjoyed the road, but then it happened, an otherwise fun energetic song kicked up from his radio, a song he’d loved to annoy Sam with before, a song he played after they had a successful hunt for example; but now all it carried was pain because this wasn’t just his feel good song, it had become Cas’ too, and that hit way too close to home for Dean. In a split second he slammed on his breaks, shut off the radio, and froze, tears pouring down his face as his hands gripped tightly to the steering wheel, while he tried to hold on to his okay reality for just a little longer. It didn’t work.

 Dean’s body was shaking so hard from the uncontrollable sobbing that every muscle hurt, he gasped for air as the sobs stole the air from his lungs, his vision so blurred from all the tears he wasn’t even sure if he was conscious anymore; and then he said it, the thing he’d been pushing away for weeks, even years if he was being totally honest with himself, out in fuck-knows-where USA, a complete and utter wreck, barely able to function let alone speak, but the words find their way out of his mouth regardless:

“I love you too Cas” Dean choked out, his voice ruined from all the crying. For a fleeting moment Dean hoped Cas could hear him, could know that even though he may be trapped in the empty, he is still so loved by Dean.

 Dean cursed at himself once the words left his mouth, not because he regretted saying them, but because it had taken each of them so damn long to just say it! The truth was Dean always knew deep down but was so scared of losing what they had, he never said anything. ‘Chuck must be laughing at me right now’ he thought; I mean how ironic that he realised he didn’t say it as to not lose Cas after losing Cas…

 Some time later Dean had recomposed himself and while he still felt shattered, that was accompanied with a new sense of determination.

“I love you Cas and somehow, some way, I’m gonna bring you home” Dean said assuredly to himself before shifting Baby into drive and speeding back to the bunker (probably much faster than was anywhere close to safe). He could do this.

 Meanwhile at the bunker everyone was freaking out trying to find Dean; it had been about eight hours since he had ‘left to get pie’, he wasn’t answering his phone, which was going straight to voice-mail, no hints, no notes, nothing; and based on Dean’s current mental health everyone was on edge fearing he’d done something dumb and reckless.

 Dean stopped off at a rest stop to get snacks when the thought crossed his mind he should probably turn his phone back on. He hadn’t meant to go MIA, he just had a lot on his mind and he needed one less thing to think about for a while, which accidentally turned into a long while. Once his phone was rebooted, a pang of guilt shot through him, he was greeted by missed calls from pretty much every single person he knew, and even a couple numbers he didn’t recognise; in total there were at least a couple hundred calls, though Dean didn’t bother to count after the first 50 or so, it was a lot regardless.

“Ah shit.” Dean muttered to himself as he walked back to his car “I should say something to Sam at least” Dean decided before sending a quick ‘I’m fine omw home now’ text to Sam. His chest tightened in fear, or joy, Dean wasn’t sure, at the thought of having to tell Sam what had happened with Cas and how Dean felt and how he had to get him back, yikes, definitely not something you say over text; Dean laughed at the thought of sending a text that was just ‘hey bro btw Cas said he loved me and I love him too so we’re getting him back’ and the chaotic side of him almost did it, but he knew it was going to be more complicated than that so thought better of it. Another thing that made him laugh was Sam’s text back

‘Good, when you’re back I’m going to kill you :)’

He wouldn’t actually kill him obviously but Dean could feel the passive aggressiveness though his phone and he knew Sam was pissed.

 A few hours and Dean was pulling into the bunker and swinging open the door, very shortly followed by Sam slapping him across the back of the head.

“Do you have any idea--!” Sam began but to angry to finish “You couldn’t be bothered to turn your phone on sooner--!” He tried again “What the hell Dean!?” He yelled before pulling Dean into a tight hug.

“Sorry, lost track of time…” Dean said matter-of-factly

“Lost track of….Unbelievable” Sam muttered shaking his head in disbelief. The was a brief moment of pure silence and Dean held his breath, knowing Sam was about to lose it. “YOU DISAPPEAR FOR LIKE NINE HOURS AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS YOU LOST TRACK OF TIME!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!? DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT THE FACT YOU WERE DEPRESSED AFTER CAS AND THEN JUST VANISHED COULD BE WORRYING!?!?” Sam yelled; it wasn’t very often he was legitimately mad at Dean, but right now, he definitely was.

“I’m sorry! Look I’ll explain, but not until you agree to stop yelling” Dean pleaded; Sam took a deep breath.

“Okay okay I’m calm now what is it?” Sam asked

“I…” Dean started, his voice shaking “Okay uh, first I need whiskey.” He decided, heading to their bar area; he was going to need some liquid courage to say it to other people, hell, it took him over a decade to admit it to himself. “Okay I…” nope that wasn’t it, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He could do this. He decided it was better to say it all at once because saying it was the hardest part. “When Cas got taken by the empty it wasn’t totally random apparently he made a deal to save Jack and this was his price only it wasn’t just about him being taken that I was freaking out” Dean explained pausing to breathe “Before it took him he had this big speech about how I’m the reason he cares about anyone, how saving me opened him up to being able to feel and how I’m a better person than I think I am” Dean continued, paraphrasing, because even though that whole speech was burned into his memory forever, that was a big deal for him and Cas and he wasn’t about to share every detail. There was one thing he had to tell them though, or they’d never understand why he acted the way he did. “��He also told me he loved me and it felt way more like an ‘I’m in love with you’ than not and so I was freaking out because holy shit what and then I froze” Dean paused as a lump formed in his throat and tears welled in his eyes as his heart filled with regret all over again. “I…I should’ve said something, done something, I shouldn’t have just stood there, especially because the next second he was pushing me out of the way of the empty…I should’ve saved him…” Dean rambled, choking back tears at the last phrase. A heavy silence hung in the air as neither Sam nor Jack knew if they should speak first or if Dean had more to share; eventually Sam spoke up.

“At least he’s gone knowing he saved Jack though right? And took out Billie” Sam pointed out trying to find the silver lining. Dean breathed out a laugh as  few tears finally fell; his head falling into his hands.

“But I didn’t get to say it back” Dean said quietly, his head still pointed at the floor

“What?” Sam and Jack said in unison, Dean looked up at them, eyes still full of tears

“I didn’t get to say it back.” Dean repeated, louder this time, more sure of his words. “I wanted to say it back but he was gone before I could so I shut down” Dean added, his heart pounding because he actually did it, he told them; he watched them for a moment trying to gauge a reaction. For a while nothing happened and Dean wondered if he’d actually said it or not, but then Sam and Jack looked at each other, then began grinning and laughing lightly. Dean blinked a few times, confused.

“Well it’s about. damn. time.” Sam said shaking his head laughing

“W-What…?” Dean asked

“Dean we’ve known for years” Jack explained casually, Dean did a double take at that.

“And nobody thought to mention it!?”

“Well no…we figured you’d tell us you were together eventually…” Sam told him to which Dean’s mouth fell open.

“Well guess what I didn’t even realise how I felt until he was gone so thanks for that!” Dean informed them, his tone kind of harsh because he could’ve avoided a lot of pain if they had said something sooner.

“Oh…Oh no” Jack said, his hand moving swiftly to cover his mouth

“Oh we screwed up bad” Sam said, more to himself

“You can make up for it by helping me get him back” Dean told them bluntly

“Dean…how..? I mean every other time it was Chuck or Jack but Jack is powerless and Chuck definitely isn’t going to…” Sam pointed out

“I don’t know Sammy but after everything we’ve been though I have to try everything I can, he has to know I love him too” Dean replied frantically

“Dean…He knew. Even if he didn’t hear you say it, he knew” Jack assured him

“Even if he did I refuse to let the time I want him back the most to be the one time it doesn’t happen”

“Okay, where do we start?” Sam asked and with that they set about making a plan to bring Cas home.

 They tried every lead, every contact, every spell, nothing worked. Dean was so defeated, this was so unfair. Jack also spiralled over how if it wasn’t for him Cas never would have made the deal to which Sam and Dean assured him that Cas would’ve made that choice for either of them too. Two months went by and it was time to focus on the bigger picture…

 “If I can’t get Cas back I’m damn sure gonna rain hell upon Chuck at least!” Dean exclaimed confidently as he set another shotgun on the bunker tables.

“What is that now? Seventeen?” Sam questioned glancing over the arsenal Dean had gathered.

“Yup. And I got the flame thrower up and running again so I can watch him burn.” Dean confirmed. Sam would admit this side of Dean scared him a little but who can blame Dean after everything? So he let it go.

 It was one hell of a fight but in the end they won! They may have had a few broken bones and definitely some new scars, but at least they made the son of a bitch pay.

 Two days later and the boys were still riding the high of victory, drinking, laughing, generally having fun; and then Dean’s phone rang.

“Hello?” Dean picked up, puzzled, it was a number he didn’t recognise. The person on the other end spoke briefly and it made all the colour drain from Dean’s face.

“Dean?” Sam prompted with no response. Tears started pouring from Dean’s eyes and both Sam and Jack stood there bewildered

“Uh huh, yep, on our way” Dean told the person before hanging up, clearly not really registering what he was saying. After he hung up his phone dropped out of his hand and he fell to the floor sobbing.

“Dean!?” Sam repeated, more urgently this time; it took him a minute but Dean eventually replied.

“He’s back Sammy! He’s back!” Dean exclaimed between sobs

“Who…? Chuck!?” Sam asked suddenly panicked, relieved when Dean shook his head no

“Cas.” Dean told him simply

“WHAT!?” Sam and Jack both yelled

“How is that possible?!?!” Jack asked, still kind of yelling

“I don’t know but whatever the reason he said it makes his head hurt to think about so it was better in person” Dean informed them “So c’mon!” Dean added as he practically dragged them out of the bunker.

 A few hours later and they were at the location Cas gave. Dean couldn’t believe they’d actually made it; the entire drive he was either hyperventilating or his heart was pounding or both; he had fully given up hope but there he was driving to Cas, his Cas. The three of them walked around the area Cas pointed them to, looking for him, and after a couple of minutes both Sam and Jack stopped walking and stood still which Dean looked perplexed at until he heard him and his heart stopped for a moment.

“Hello Dean.” A voice rang out over the cold winter wind. Dean whipped around sharply to see Cas looking warmly at him, without hesitation Dean ran to him, hugging him with so much force he nearly knocked them both over. “Dean I…” Cas began to say but Dean interrupted him.

“I love you” Dean told him, the words rolling off his tongue as if he’d said them a thousand times; which to be fair, he had in his head over the last few months. Cas stared at Dean dumbfounded and Dean laughed lightly because this must be how Cas felt after he told Dean he loved him. Dean decided that he needed to be stronger with his admission of love. He placed his hand on Cas’ cheek with his thumb under Cas’ chin, and tilted Cas’ head up slightly so that Cas was looking him in the eyes “I love you” Dean repeated, this time putting more emphasis on his words so that Cas knew he meant it.

“Really?” Cas asked as tears welled in his eyes, to which Dean nodded. “Are you sure you mean it the same way I do? Because I mean I get if you mean it in a family way I just…I don’t…” Cas rambled

“Cas” Dean prompted, startling Cas a little by how close he suddenly was, their foreheads touching, Dean’s hand still on Cas’ cheek. “I know…” Dean assured him, his voice barely a whisper, which made Cas’ breath hitch in his throat involuntarily. Dean smirked slightly which made Cas look down at Dean’s lips and Dean could almost hear Cas thinking ‘kiss me’ and so he did.

 The first second or so Cas couldn’t move, completely shocked that Dean actually made the move, but after that he relaxed into it, savouring the moment he’d waited a lifetime (or in his case several lifetimes) for.

“I love you” Cas said softly after they pulled apart. Dean’s heart felt like it flipped at that moment, there was a time he thought he’d never hear those words, coming out of Cas’ mouth, again

“And I love you” Dean reiterated

  They stood there hugging for a few minutes, oblivious to the world around them, before someone broke the silence

“Listen this is really sweet and everything but Dean you have the car keys and it is freezing out here can you at least toss them over so Jack and I don’t freeze to death!?” Sam called from back over by the car.

“Oh oops!” Dean said, mainly to Cas, before turning and throwing Sam the keys, feeling his back vibrate as Cas laughed against it.

“You know…we should probably get out of the cold too” Cas told Dean

“But I like our little warm bubble” Dean whined

“Don’t you wanna know how I’m back?” Cas asked, Dean inhaled sharply; in all the joy of Cas being back and getting to hold him and kiss him, Dean had completely forgotten about the how he ended up there “I’ll take that as a yes” Cas said, before he moved around Dean to head back to the car, only to be stopped a couple of steps after by Dean who took his hand. It was a small thing but Cas could swear if Dean hadn’t been holding onto him he would’ve melted. So many times Cas had wanted to do this, a simple touch, a brush of fingers; so small and yet so important. After so many years telling himself he can’t let himself crave connection like that, to finally to not only admit he wanted it, but to actually get it, felt incredible. He glanced at Dean who responded by holding his hand a little tighter as if to say ‘I know what I’m doing and I want to do it’ so Cas just smiled and they walked hand in hand back to the car where Sam and Jack were sat grinning at them from the back seat.

 “Holy crap!” Dean exclaimed as the warm air from the Impala hit him, in that moment realising just how cold he’d become. After a few minutes regulating their body temperatures Dean was ready to know and Cas was ready to tell

“Okay so…The empty took me into oblivion as you know” Cas began, everyone else nodded “So I get there and I’m awake and so I think oh no not this again and sure enough the empty was pissed saying ‘why won’t you just die quietly!?’ and such and this went on for however long I was gone pretty much” Cas continued “and then one day I was being…dragged? Ejected? Out. It was very weird because it wasn’t like I was being carried out, it was like the empty was trying to push me out, kind of like last time only this time I remember it, as well as an overwhelming feeling of ‘you don’t belong here’ then I woke up and have been trying to find my way back to civilization since” Cas explained then looked at the boys expectantly.

“Cas, when did you come back?” Sam asked

“Two days ago, I remember hearing the radio of a car that drove past me and they said the date that was two days ago”

“What the…” Dean said, shocked

“...Cas, two days ago we took out Chuck.” Sam informed him

“Do you think it’s related?”

“You break out of angel/demon hell the same day we kill the most powerful being ever? Yes it’s related! I mean c’mon!” Dean insisted

“But how?” Jack added

 They brainstormed for a while but every theory had some kind of fatal flaw and then it hit Jack like a lightning bolt

“Wait wait what if it’s not complicated at all? Cas went to the empty but the empty is for angels and demons who died”

“Right…” the others agreed

“Well Cas didn’t die he was just kind of consumed by it. So what if killing Chuck was some kind of reset that every being in there that didn’t actually die, was thrown out??”

“That actually…makes sense…good job kid!” Dean praised

“But if that’s true what else got let out!?” Sam asked panicked, suddenly Cas froze.

“Billie.” Cas stated coldly

“Shit!” They all collectively yelled in unison. And just like that they all knew they’re not done yet…

 Fade to black/credits etc...

[kessielrg]

[Mega Man X AU] Follow Me

Summary: After Axl breaks a promise with Aero to help fix her car, they instead go to a trampoline park to, in his words, 'fly above their worries'. Aero doesn't buy it, but Axl's hard to say no to. [oneshot]

Rating: T (for swearing)

Word Count: 2,419 words

If you like this story, please reblog!

---

Aero hated the summer heat; especially when she had to work on a broken transmission for her car in said heat. She was smart enough to leave out a jug of water beside her tools, but it was so hot out that it wasn't even cool anymore. The only thing she had to keep her company -and to drown out her numerous curses- was a portable radio, tuned to a station that played mostly mainstream music.

During some song with an exceedingly repetitive chorus, Aero took a small break from wrecking her car further to take a swing from her water jug. Savoring what she could from the lukewarm liquid, Aero found herself checking her watch for the time. A full hour had passed since she started this futile mission- she was a computer science nerd for God's sake, not a car nerd. Maybe if she was less frugal, she could have taken it to an actual dealership, but that was just the thing: she wasn't supposed to start this alone. Axl, who could hot-wire a car in his sleep and once worked on other (similarly shady) car related activities as a side job, had promised to help her. But, as obvious circumstances could show, he never showed up.

Taking another swing from her water jug, Aero looked back at her transmission and decided she was done for the day. No matter how much she needed her car, a heatstroke wasn't going to go over well for her health either. When Aero entered her home, she almost fainted from the cool air as it instantly covered her body like a well dosed drug. She just barely managed to stumble to the couch and flopped herself down. Aero might have even passed out for a few moments before coming to again- she felt groggy enough that she wondered if she did. Too lazy to go to the kitchen to actually drink something cold, Aero reached over on the coffee table for her phone.

Surprise, surprise: Axl had texted her when she had been working on her car. None of them pertained to his broken promise though.

Axl, 12:32 PM: Zero's laying the insults thick on you today so of course I defended your honor.

Axl, 12:34 PM: called him goldilocks twice just for you

Axl, 12:35 PM: your welcome btw

Okay, so she had to snort at that, but that didn't mean she wasn't still angry at him.

Aero, 1:22 PM: fuck you

Axl, 1:24 PM: okay

Axl, 1:24 PM: so I know I deserved that somewhere along the line today

Axl, 1:25 PM: but what did I do now?

Aero, 1:26 PM: one word loser: transmission

It didn't even take a minute after that Aero got a call from Axl himself. She answered it, but said nothing- as if the dark glare she was giving could radiate through the phone. It seemed to have worked, because once Axl realized she had picked up, he immediately said,

“Aero, I swear I didn't forget to help you.”

“Bitch you lie.” Aero hissed without skipping a beat.

“Yeah, okay, I absolutely am.” Axl sheepishly admitted. “And I'm totally sorry for it! What can I do to make it up for you Breezy? I swear I'll do whatever you want.”

To this, Aero cocked an eyebrow of interest.

“So when I get heatstroke?”

“I'll carry you to the hospital.”

“And when I get a sunburn so bad that I'll cry because I can't sleep or move because it hurts too much?”

“I'll rub aloe on you so gentle and smooth that X and Zero will be jealous.”

“And the outrageous bill the dealership's gonna give me to fix that damn transmission?”

For this, Axl hesitated. Aero found herself amused at this silence and found herself smirking at the challenge.

“I'm waiting.” she reminded him.

It was quite a bit of time before Axl quietly suggested, “I'll help take it to the dealership...”

“Like hell you will.” Aero snorted in return.

“And we'll go some place too while we wait.”

“Oh will we now?” the young woman mused. “And where would that be?”

“It's a secret.” came the cheeky answer. “Just get ready tomorrow and I'll take it from there.”

“You better not be lying to me, loser.” Aero hissed.

“Yeah, yeah. Be ready by noon- I've got plans to make!” Axl returned before hanging up the phone. For a moment, Aero just looked at her phone before letting out a deep sigh. Whatever Axl had planned, it sure was going to be… something: he always had better ideas than in ways on how to execute them. Knowing him, Aero was almost certain that it wasn't going to be as simple as going to a diner or watching a movie. Letting out another sigh that signaled the start of a headache, Aero started to dial X's number to talk about the situation.

. . .

It was just as hot the next day, so Aero waited for Axl inside her house. He didn't bother to show up until a little after eleven with his orange truck. Just to spite him, Aero still waited in her house as Axl attached her car to his truck's ball hitch and she still didn't come out when he waved to her- signaling that he was ready for her to come out. When he realized that she wasn't going to come out, Axl gave a small sigh before making his way to her door. Even after he rung her doorbell, Aero still waited a few moments before going to answer it.

When Aero swung her door open, the blast of hot air from outside greeted the cool air inside her house. Standing at the door was Axl with a sheepish hand behind his head.

“Still mad, huh?” he chuckled.

“Just slightly.” Aero mused with a smart little grin. She leaned against her doorframe before proceeding to ask, “Are you going to bother to tell me where we're going today?”

To this, Axl gave a wide smile of his own. “'Course not!” he proudly declared. “You're going in blind after we drop your car off.”

“Lucky me.” Aero snorted.

She should have known right then and there that Axl had something horrible planned. But for some reason she did not, so the duo walked to his truck and got inside. There was not much for the two to talk about on the drive to the dealership. Aero did give Axl some flack for when she got back into his truck after leaving her car behind. But they were back on the road again to wherever Axl planned to surprise her just as quickly.

Axl's truck was just old enough to still have a cassette player attached to its stereo. Some years back he had made a mix tape filled with songs that he knew Aero liked, and right now he had purposely stuck it in the player for them to listen to. Admittedly, it was rather relaxing as Aero looked out the window, watching as various scenery flew past them. It was when she noted a particular sign that a flare of suspicion shot through her body.

'Circus Man's Trampoline Park: Just a Mile Away!'

She should have asked Axl about it right then and there, but she didn't. She liked to pretend to give him the benefit of the doubt every now and again. But the feeling that this was exactly where Axl was taking her did not go away. Her eyebrows furrowed deeper as the path to the trampoline park became more obvious. She waited until Axl made a turn at the entrance that she finally gave him a glare that had been growing for the past few minutes.

“You're joking.” Aero demanded. He turned to look at her for a moment with a rather cheeky grin. It only fueled her annoyance more. “You have got to be fucking joking me Axl!”

“Where else are you going to fly above your worries, Breezy?” he said back, as if it were as simple as day.

“You ass!!” she indignantly hollered before making slightly aggressive punches to his face.

“Wait 'til I'm parked, wait until I'm parked Breezy!” Axl shouted back, trying to dodge and fend her off with one hand and trying to steer into the parking lot with the other. When he had the truck properly parked, he remained in his seat as Aero continued to hit him. She didn't seem to realize that they had parked for a moment, and when she did, she paused her assault to unbuckle.

“First you forget to help me with my transmission,” she spat at him, listing each offense off with her fingers, “Then make me pay the full bill at the dealership, and now you try to make it up by taking me to the fucking trampoline park?!”

“Well, when you phrase it like that...” Axl mused as he started to unbuckle as well.

“Axl, I'm going to murder you!” Aero screamed once more as she started to hit him again.

It was her fighting spirit that Axl liked the most about her. Not all girls could hold a grudge like this, and that truly made Aero one of a kind.

. . .

“I'll play popcorn if you don't attempt to have some fun.”

“Try me.”

Between the two of them, there were no adults. Axl was still obviously a child in some regards, and in moments when Aero would curl herself into a ball of annoyance while Axl jumped around her, it became clear that neither of them acted their age.

“Alright Breezy, you asked for it!” Axl decided as he started to bounce a bit more purposely. “Get ready to be popped!”

He only gave Aero time to give a grunt before he started to bounce around her. Despite her body starting to gain momentum in bouncing from Axl's jumps, Aero remained in her ball of annoyance for quite a while. It was when Axl almost tripped over her that Aero came out of her little ball to protect her face from Axl's foot.

“You can not stop the popcorn master!” Axl proudly declared, even flexing his muscles for the fun of it. After enjoying his hubris for a moment, he offered a hand to Aero to help her up. She looked up at it for a moment before giving him a smirk.

“Such a gentleman.” she mused as she accepted his hand.

“You know it!” he agreed with a wide grin. Aero only shook her head in playful exasperation. Axl admired her for a moment before suddenly getting an idea. “Come on,” he told her, taking her hand without permission, “Let's go throw ourselves off the wall! It'll be great!”

“Axl, wai-” Aero tried to say but didn't have the chance to finish as Axl pulled her along. It was honestly kinda hard to keep up as Axl almost ran on the trampolines like he learned how to walk on them. Aero barely had time to give Axl warning as she lost her balance. All Axl knew was that Aero let out a yelp of surprise, then the two of them were careening to the side. Aero ended up falling almost directly on her back with Axl on top of her. With the wind knocked out of both of them, the duo could only stare at each other in bewilderment.

Axl would have recovered sooner had he not stared into Aero's dark brown eyes.

“Admit it,” Axl then cheekily told her with a smirk. “You wanted to make out with me for half a second.”

“Get a load of yourself.” Aero snorted in return, pushing Axl off her. Axl remained where he was and laughed as Aero started to get up and brush herself off. From his lower position, he still caught himself admiring her as Aero fluffed her hair a bit.

Speaking a thought, he carefully said to her, “You know, I don't get the way X treats you, Breezy. I mean, he talks about you like he likes you a lot, but he normally never really acts like it. He doesn't buy you dinner, he won't lead you on, he just… acts like he's talking to another friend with you. Doesn't that bug you?”

“Does X have to flirt with me to show he likes me?” Aero questioned, looking at Axl with a raise of her eyebrow. “There are different love languages, Axl.”

“And X speaks nothing but gibberish.” her friend retorted with a bitter snort. He worked himself up with a grunt so he could give Aero proper eye contact. “Aero, please, I've been crushing on you for so long that I'm practically dust by now. Let X go. He's not interested in you.”

For a moment, Aero didn't know whether to agree with him or call him out for acting desperate. Her hesitation was evident on her face as well. Seeing it made Axl deflate a little.

“I'm gonna go jump off one of the platforms, then.” he said to her with a sullen sigh. “Don't wait up for me.”

“Axl, I-”

“Don't utter a thing,” he said, cutting her off with a rather dramatic raise of his hand. “I already know what you're going to say. 'Axl, I'm just not interested in you. X is the only one I trust enough to love like that after it happened. I like you, just not like that. Maybe in the next life. It's not you, it's me...'”

“Well, you downer,” Aero mused as she put a hand on her hip, “I was going to say that I had a fun time today. Even though you did jack squat in regards to my car. But if you want to turn this into a rejection moment, then by all means.”

Axl immediately perked up as he looked back over at her. “So I still have a shot?”

“Don't think I said that.”

“Don't think you're refuting it either.”

Aero shifted her weight to the side while Axl continued to give her a wide, cheeky grin.

“Let's race over to the other end of the room.” Axl happily suggested. “If you lose, you and I are going on a proper date. On the count of three; one...”

“I don't think I agreed to-”

“Three!” Axl merrily declared before jumping back onto the trampolines and starting to sprint away. Aero took a moment to laugh at him before making her way back onto the trampolines as well.

[of-fishnets-and-black-lace]

True Love is a Lie pt. II

Request: Can I please have a part two to “True Love is a Lie”? The first one was so good! Can I have it where it’s been a couple of months and you’re dating Sam and Lucifer comes and asks you to take a walk through the woods while Sam and Dean follow behind, just in case, and you tell him that you’re pregnant with Sam’s child and can you name the child Diana from Wonder Woman and also include the young Diana Prince?

Read Part 1 here!

Word Count: 1892

Warnings: Angst, pregnancy, fluff, cursing, terrible writing, idk what else since it has been too long since I’ve read this, the format got messed up when i posted this from my google docs

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader, Past Lucifer x Reader

A/N: I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Shit has been so crazy the past few months/years but I’ve got my mojo back! It has been so long since I’ve done anything but I am hoping that with this pandemic I can finally post and write all the requests I have been getting, sequels to my other stories, as well as new stuff I’ve been working on. I am still not taking any requests until I have finished those in my inbox. I love you all and I am so happy to be writing again!

A year went by since your last heartwrenching encounter with Lucifer.  You nearly forgot about it because of your new life with Sam.  Sam always made sure to be attentive and by your side at a moment’s notice.  He made you trust in people again after your confrontation with Lucifer.  He knew after that experience you’d be broken, so he made sure to be there to mend the pieces.   

You did not want to dwell in the past and think yourself into a  depressive mood, especially with the Winchester boys and your new best friend, Jack, gone on a hunt.  You would’ve went with them had you not felt so nauseous and tired.  It was a typical salt-n-burn so you weren’t exactly missing out on anything important.  Nevertheless, Sam hated leaving you, especially with Lucifer still out there, but you were safe. 

Just as the thought of the moose enters your mind, your phone buzzes.

Sam: Hey baby girl, we’re on our way back.  Need anything?

You: Just some warm cuddles from my moose. 

You: Actually, I need oranges like right now. Not joking, I feel like I’ll die without oranges.

Sam: Is everything ok? You’ve never asked for oranges and I’ve never even seen you eat oranges since I’ve known you.

You: Yeah I’m fine, just a bit nauseous.  Also I’ve just been having a weird craving for oranges for some reason.  Oh well.

Sam: Hmm, I’m no doctor but maybe you should get checked out.  I worry about you, honey.

You: I know sweetie, but the doctor is expensive. It’s probably just the stomach flu or something.  Btw, how much longer?

Sam: Probably an hour, give or take 15 minutes.

You: Ok, Love you! See you soon!

Sam: Love you too! Can’t wait!

“Ok, so I have about an hour or so to check and see if my suspicions are correct.” You say aloud to yourself.

“What suspicions?” Cas suddenly appears out of nowhere, scaring you half to death.

“What the hell Cas?!” You all but screamed.

“Sorry, I thought you were praying to me.” Cas was never any good at lying to you.

“Umm, no I wasn’t just tell me why are you here?”

“I heard something on angel radio, and I needed to know if it is true.” He places a hand on your stomach.  “So it is true.”

“What? What is wrong with me?”

“(Y/N), your suspicions are right.  You’re six weeks pregnant.”

“How is that possible? Sam and I were so careful! What will he think or say? No, I can’t tell him. Not yet.”

With Sam and Dean still not home, you made Cas get a pregnancy test.  You trusted the angel’s words, but you needed concrete evidence.  You made Cas leave for a few days; you knew for sure that Cas wouldn’t be able to keep the secret.  The plus sign emerged with seconds to spare as Sam’s heavy footsteps could be heard approaching your shared room.

“(Y/N) I’m home!” Sam yelled as he collapsed onto the bed. You run out from the bathroom, pounce on him, and kiss all over his face.

“I missed you, Moose.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart.  I got the oranges you asked for.” 

“Thank you, baby…” You said as you chewed on the inside of your cheek.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?”

“Sam, have you ever thought about having kids?”

“Well yeah of course but… Isn’t it a little dangerous given our profession?”

“Yeah that’s true, but we’ve got out once, we can do it again.  Besides, I know I am safe when I’m with you and when I’m here in the bunker.”

“Enough with the chit chat, we have company.” Dean interrupts 

You and Sam follow Dean to the lighted table, sitting there was God himself, dressed oh so casually and a look of nervousness graced his face.  He twiddled his thumbs and a small smile made its way to his features as his eyes locked with yours.  

“Uh hehe, hey (Y/N), Sam, Dean, Jack.”

“What’s up, Chuck?” You said, holding onto Sam.

“Um, Lucifer asked me to tell you that he’s outside and would like to speak with you.” You grabbed onto Sam a little tighter.  

“I’ll talk to him, but I want Sam and Dean to stay close to me.  Jack should stay behind since it’s his father.”  

“He knows, he said that they could.”

You make your way outside and there he is, dressed in a nice suit and tie with a bouquet of (f/c) (f/f) in his right hand, but one thing was different: you couldn’t see his wings.  Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, but Sam gave a reassuring squeeze to your hand.  You began walking toward Lucifer, Sam and Dean close behind.  Lucifer handed you the bouquet of flowers and gave a quick peck to your knuckles.  This apparently didn’t sit well with Sam as he cleared his throat with anger. 

“Will you join me for a walk through the woods, (Y/N)?” Lucifer asked and you look to Sam and Dean. “Don’t worry, they can follow behind.”  

You all walk to the edge of the woods in silence, your heart beat faster with every step closer to the treeline.  Through your peripheral vision, you could see Sam clench and unclench his jaw.  He was just as nervous as you were, if not more so.  You and Lucifer finally enter the woods. Sam and Dean follow a minute behind to give you some form of privacy, while still able to barely make out your conversations.  

“First of all, I want to say I’m so sorry for what I did to you.  I should have asked for your permission and talked it through with you.” Lucifer says, breaking the silence.  

“It’s alright I guess. I did some research and I now understand that I would not have survived through labour.  However, that does not justify your actions, what you did really hurt me.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry.  I never meant to hurt my soulmate.”

“Soulmate?”

“Yes, you were my soulmate.  That’s why you were able to see my wings.”

“Then why can’t I see them now?”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about.”  There was a pained expression on his face, you’ve never seen the devil quite like this before.  “I had God make Sam your soulmate after what I had done to you.”

“This isn’t like you Lucifer, why would you do this?”

“I have to prove to you that I will always love you and do what’s best for you, even if it meant letting you go.” He sighed and placed a hand on your stomach. You could hear Dean hold Sam back as he spewed threats if Lucifer were to harm you.  

“Hurt the baby and I will not hesitate to pluck every feather from your wings.”

“I swear on my Father that I will protect yours and Sam’s child. It’s the least I could do to make up for everything.” He said as he kisses your forehead. “Name her Diana.” With that he disappears.

Sam finally breaks away from his brother and runs straight to you. He sees you place a hand protectively over your stomach and smile to it.The words of Lucifer finally make sense to him as he asks “You’re pregnant?”

You shake your head and smile, afraid to say anything.

“I am going to be a father!” Sam shouted with excitement as he picks you up and spins you around.  Tears of joy threaten to spill from both you and Sam as you lock eyes.  As he goes in for a kiss, you both are interrupted by Dean, yelling incoherently and excitedly about him being an uncle. You and Sam look at each other and giggle. It’s not a perfect family, but you can’t live without them.

Time Skip to Wedding Day (3 years later)

You look at your engagement ring then to your flower girl, Diana Prince Winchester, waddling down the aisle leaving flower petals in her wake.  She looked so adorable in her little white dress and you couldn’t help but to tear up.  The audience gasp and awe as they watch your daughter.

The wedding was surprisingly large for a pair of hunters.  Hordes of hunters (friends and some you’ve never seen before), the Winchesters’ monster “friends”, a few angels, and some family came from all over to see you two get married.  With God sponsoring your wedding, you expected something extravagant like a wedding at the Vatican. However, this was not the case.  The ceremony was held in a beautiful meadow that somehow matched your (f/c) wedding theme. The icing on top of the cake was Chuck himself officiating the wedding.  

The wedding march began and Gabriel walks you down the aisle.  Sam couldn't help but let a few tears slip as he watches his two beautiful girls in white.  Dean, the best man, elbows him slightly but he too couldn't help the tears.  Cas, Lucifer, and Jack all smile at you and then to Sam.  They know you two are perfect for each other.  You weren't phased by Sam asking Lucifer to be a groomsman. Besides, it was your idea to have him as Diana's godfather.  You finally reach the altar, and neither of you seem to care about the sniffling and hiccuping. You were finally marrying each other so let the waterworks happen. 

You were hardly paying attention until you hear Chuck say it's time to share your vows.  Sam clears his throat and begins: 

“Y/N, I've known you for as long as I can remember.  We've been fighting side by side since we were little and our dads would go on hunting trips together.  I would always tell myself, that one way or another I will marry this girl and protect her from any and every monsters.  You may have not been my soulmate then, but you are my soulmate now. And as your soulmate, I'm never letting you go.” There was a slight pause and an awkward cough from Lucifer. “I will love you until the end of time.” 

He slips the ring on your finger as you begin:  “I’d never thought I would be standing here with the infamous Sam Winchester, yet here I am with a ring on my finger.  You were my first best friend and my first crush and my first protector.  you’ve saved me from being broken in more ways than one, and for that I owe you my life.  While it is true we were not soulmates before, we are soulmates now and that’s all that matters.  I will love you forever until the end of time.” 

After the expression of the “I Dos,” you hear the words you’ve been dying to hear since you made it to the altar: “You may kiss the bride.” Sam grabs you by the waste and pulls you to him.  With the passion of a thousand suns, he kisses you and everything melts away.  It was just like the first time you two kissed.  

In the back of your mind, you could hear Lucifer whisper “I will always love you” but that didn’t matter to you anymore. You are Sam’s and he is yours.  Nothing will change that.

[pandaqueen7799]

Sunshine of Your Love

A/N: Written for @softhairbarnes‘s I Love You 3000 writing challenge (thanks so much for the opportunity btw) with the prompt: ‘Yes, I’m with you my love / It’s the morning and just we two - “Sunshine Of Your Love” by Cream’  Technically this is a sequel to Tired of Love Songs (which can be found on my fanfic blog here), but you don’t have to read it to read this :) 

Warnings: Smuttttyyyyyy smut cause I’m insufferable ha, umm slight angst? Like a teeny tiny bit

Word Count: 1393

Long missions were not a novelty to Tony Stark. Being the CEO of Stark Industries for so long had him used to being away from home all the time, and (Y/n) was almost always with him on the missions anyway so he never really gave much thought to it. This last mission, however, had been entirely different. (Y/n) had been assigned to go deep undercover in a Hydra cell, while Tony and the rest of the Avengers continued the search for Loki's scepter. One month in, and they were forced back to square one with every lead turning out to be a diversion. Tony tried to blame his frustration on the lack of progress, but in reality, he was scared. It had been two weeks since anyone had heard from (Y/n), and no one seemed to be able to tell him where she was. He tried to rationalize his fear, he knew that (Y/n) was more than capable of taking care of herself and that radio silence was typical in those type of operations, but the truth was that Tony had been waiting for someone like her all his life and he'd only just figured that out. He eventually just gave in and flew back to the tower to try and find her himself. He had barely landed before starting to give the orders to JARVIS to initiate a search.

"Sir, I believe that will be unnecessary, as Miss. (Y/l/n) is currently asleep in your bed," Tony reeled, confusion knocking him back a step. She's what?

"When did she get back?" He said, feet already carrying him towards the elevator. He didn't bother saying which floor, knowing JARVIS would take him where he needed to go.

"Yesterday evening,"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Miss. (Y/l/n) requested her presence be hidden under Protocol 5.04," Panic and hurt began to bleed through his chest like palladium poisoning. Why would she- Oh god, something must have happened- But she would have told you if she was hurt, right? At the very least JARVIS would have. What did you do that she felt the need to hide from you? What if she met someone? What if she decided she couldn't do the whole superhero lifestyle anymore? What if- By then he had reached their shared bedroom, and his breath caught in his throat at the sight that greeted him when he gently pushed open the door. (Y/n) was sleeping peacefully in my shirt, the golden rays of the sunrise casting her in an angelic glow. He was almost loath to disturb the visual at all, but his anxiety about why she didn't want him to know she was home got the best of him. He stepped into the room proper and silently slipped out of his shoes before tiptoeing to the edge of the bed.

"Hey, wake up sleepyhead," He said as he gently brushed a strand of (h/c) hair from her face, smiling softly as she began to stir. Just being around her always calmed him down, allowing his thoughts to focus back in.

"Tony?" She asked softly, reaching up to rub the sleep from her eyes. He could nearly see the moment her brain caught up and realized what was happening and couldn't keep the grin from his face when she shot straight up. "Tony! You're here!"

"So are you," He said pointedly, still smiling in an attempt to maintain the casual atmosphere. (Y/n) bit her lip sheepishly before replying.

"I wanted to surprise you, and I had some stuff I wanted to take care of before you got home," He could feel his palms growing sweaty, and he tried to subtly dry them on his pants leg.

"Must be some pretty important stuff, then," His tone sounded bitter even to his own ears and he dropped his eyes, knowing she'd either start yelling at him about staying out of her business and not trusting her or she'd tell him she'd had enough of his bullshit and was gonna move out.

"I'd like to think our one year is pretty important, yeah," Her voice was soft and full of understanding, so unlike anything he was expecting that he was kicking himself mentally for believing that she would ever hide something from him. She seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, as her arms wrapped around his shoulders in a hug. "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere," He pulled her into his lap and buried his face in her neck as he clung to her. Too good for me. Don't deserve her. 

"I'm sorry," He mumbled. (Y/n) gently pushed his head back from her, forcing him to look at her. The smile on her face was warm and gentle, like a ray of sunlight that soothed his soul.

"So am I. Had I known you guys were gonna be back so soon I would have told you I was home," He offered a lopsided grin.

"You guys? Last I checked I don't have a mouse in my pocket," It took only a moment for her to catch his meaning, and her eyes lit up.

"The team isn't here?" He shook his head, leaning forward to ghost his lips against hers.

"It's just us, babydoll," His hands slid up her thighs to grab her waist beneath his shirt. "Which is really handy considering you know full well how much better you look in my shirts than I do," She tugged at her lower lip as she grinned, shaking her head.

"Well then, Mr. Stark, maybe I can find some way to make up for scaring you," Her hands began undoing the buttons on her shirt, starting at the bottom and working her way up. He hummed in response as his hands followed the trail of skin that slowly became exposed with each button until finally, they landed on her breasts.

"I'm sure you'll come up with something, Miss. (Y/l/n)," He gave a gentle squeeze before moving higher and pushing the shirt off of her shoulders. She shrugged the material off quickly before pulling him into her lips, and his own shirt quickly followed its brother to the floor. Tony felt himself being pushed back until he was lying back on the bed with (Y/n) hovering over him. Her nails trailed down his chest, drawing a hiss as they passed over his nipples before her hands started working on his pants fastening.

"Why, Mr. Stark it seems you're happy to see me," His resulting laugh was cut short as her hand dipped beneath his waistband to wrap around him, stroking languidly. His hips bucked up into her hand as she passed her thumb over the head of his cock, slowly increasing the speed of her strokes until he was a panting mess beneath her. He reached a shaky hand up to grab her wrist, stopping her movements before rolling her underneath himself, claiming her lips once again in a passionate kiss. His hands moved to her waist to drag her lace panties off before shoving his own pants and boxers to the floor. He reached over and pulled a condom from the nightstand, still not breaking apart from her lips as he rolled it on quickly. There was no pomp and circumstance as he guided himself inside her, just a mutual laugh as he slipped out before readjusting and when he was finally fully seated within her, an overwhelming sense of home. Tony never considered himself a romantic but, in those moments, bodies moving together, slick and wet and perfectly imperfect, his thoughts were drowning in waves of love and affection. Each thrust of his hips came with praise, each moan he drew, pushing him further. When his fingers found her clit, and she came with a strangled cry of his name he knew he was only seconds behind her, and sure enough he gave one, two, three more thrusts before he followed her into blissful oblivion. He removed himself from the bed only long enough to clean himself and her up, and immediately pulled her back into his arms.

"I love you, honey," Tony murmured into her hair. The panic that would usually come with those words was nowhere to be found, blocked out by the sunshine of her love.

[meghan-huntergirl-winchester]

A Twist in Fate (Hardy Boys X Sister!Reader)

Request: Hi, I was wondering if I could get a WWE imagine where you’re the Hardy's little sister and you work in WWE but it's kinda of weird for Y/N because her brothers aren't there. At WrestleMania 30 she has a match for the diva's championship and wins but she didn't know her brothers would be backstage waiting for her when she came back and she's really excited and happy to see them since they hardly get to see each other. Can you make the ending sweet? Please and thank you! Love your writing btw. :)

A/n:  Hello Sweetheart! Thank you so much for your request! I wanna say that I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to get this to you. I got this request sooooo long ago. I had really lost my passion for writing, but I didn’t wanna leave you hanging forever. I am so sorry ☹. I really hope you enjoy it! I had to go back and watch some old Hardy matches to get into the groove of writing this one so thank you for making me go back and watch some! Enjoy!

Y/n= Your name

Y/n/n= your nickname

Word Count: 1565

Warnings: None except for Violence and Language

WrestleMania 30….who would have thought that I would be a part of the Diva’s Title match at WrestleMania. My name is Y/n Hardy. That’s right, I said Hardy. That means my brothers are Matt and Jeff Hardy. Tonight was going to be the hardest match of my life. Tonight is the “Vicki Guerrero Diva’s Championship Invitational Battle Royal” or something like that. Almost all of the active Divas are participating in the match and I’m dying to get my hands on that Divas Title. I just really wish that my brothers were here to see it. With my traveling schedule with the WWE and their traveling schedule with other things, it’s almost impossible for us to see each other. A knocking on the door pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Ms. Hardy? 5 minutes to gorilla position.”

“Thanks Tom!”

I turned back to the mirror and smiled at my reflection. I truly was a Hardy. Being that tonight is WrestleMania 30, I took extra care into my ring gear. Since my brothers couldn’t physically be with me tonight I was going to take a piece of them to the ring with me. I was wearing one of Matt’s Hardy Boy shirts, and before I left home I had the chance to steal Jeff’s favorite sets of arm warmers to wear to the ring. With one last look in the mirror, I put the finishing touches on my black eyeliner and headed towards the gorilla.

As I approached gorilla and saw several of the other Divas making their way to the ring I started to stretch and do a few warm ups before my music was played.

“Hey Y/n! Good luck tonight!” I heard my friend April, otherwise known as AJ Lee, say as she passed by.

“Thanks April. Don’t go too crazy on me tonight okay?” I said with a laugh as I stood up and stretched my arms over my head.  I heard April laugh and felt her hand pat me on my shoulder.

“Deal! Only if you promise no Twist of Fate!”

Before I could say anything else, April’s music hit and I watched as April slipped away and AJ Lee came to the front. I couldn’t help but shake my head with a small laugh. I loved that girl but she was fucking crazy sometimes. Knowing that my music was up next, I grabbed my ‘Hardy’ necklace and an extra T-shirt to hand out to the audience before getting into position.

Moments later my music blasted through the arena and I smiled at the crowd reaction. As I made my way down the ramp I pulled my necklace off and placed it over the head of a little girl who was holding a “Y/n Hardy” sign and handed my T-shirt to one of the Make-A-Wish kids who were sitting in the front row, before leaping up on the ring apron. Staring down the Divas for a moment, my eyes met Aprils and I saw her nod slightly with a barely noticeable smile. I hopped up on the middle rope and posed for a moment before hoping down and getting ready.

“The following contest is the Vicki Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational! The first Diva to score a pin fall or submission will be declared the winner and the Diva’s Champion!”

The bell rang and immediately AJ and I were thrown into the center, all of the other Diva’s surrounding us. For a moment, no one made a move until a foot suddenly slammed into my stomach and all hell broke loose. I could feel Tamina stomping on my back with her foot as Nikki Bella stomped on my left knee. With a harsh kick to my side, Tamina kicked me off the apron and onto the floor. I could hear the ref making counts but none were even close to a 3 count. I pulled myself off the ground by holding on to the apron and I watched as The Bellas knocked everyone out of the ring and then did twin suicide dives through the ropes.

Nikki and Brie were the only ones standing and I watched as they slowly turned on each other and began to fight amongst themselves. Across the ring, Aj was slowly getting to her feet and she made her way into the ring along with Natalya, Naomi, Tamina, and Alicia Fox. They brawled for a few moments until AJ got Naomi in the Black Widow. I could tell that Naomi was about to tap so I quickly jumped into the ring and pulled Aj off of Naomi before kicking her to the floor. Now only AJ and I were left in the ring.  We stared down each other for a moment before we locked up. AJ caught me in the black widow but I was able to power out and reverse it into a twist of fate.

The crowd was electric as I climbed to the top rope to do my finisher. The swanton bomb. I hit it perfectly and rolled AJ up for the pin. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Brie and Nikki fighting to get to me.

1….

2…

The Bella’s had climbed under the ropes and were in the ring.

3!

The ref slammed his hand down a third and final time right before the Bella’s reached me and the bell rang.

“Here is your winner and the New WWE Diva’s Champion Y/N Hardy!!!”

Sitting there with my mouth wide open, it hit me. I was the new Diva’s Champion. The ref handed me the belt and all I could do was stare at it. I could hear Nikki and Brie yelling at the ref in outrage but I didn’t care. I did it…..I was champion. I stood on the turnbuckle and hoisted my title over my head. After celebrating my win for a few more minutes, I made my way backstage. All the women from the match and a large group of superstars came over and congratulated me on my win. Soon enough I broke away from the crowd that had gathered and made my way back to makeup and hair.

“Hey hun! You need a touch up for your championship photo shoot?” Leslie asked as she got off her phone and tossed it to the table.

“Yeah, they want me to go ahead and do the pictures that way I can relax for the rest of the night.”

I hopped up into the chair with my title in my lap. Leslie started fixing my hair and my face and I couldn’t help but wonder if Jeff and Matt got to at least watch my match.

“All right honey. You’re all set. Let me give you a final spray with this setting spray and you’re good to go.”

“Thanks Leslie! You always do an amazing job.”

Hopping out of the chair I quickly headed to my photo shoot. I saw my friends the Shield coming down the hall with some food, and I snagged a cookie from Seth’s plate before scurrying down the hall.

“Hey! Get your own cookies champ!”

“Sorry! I’ll buy you coffee in the morning!” I called down the hall only to receive a thumbs up from him. He was so easy to please. Buy him a coffee or agree to work out with him and he is set.

“Ah Ms. Hardy, congratulations! We need to get photos for WWE.com and for upcoming promotional posters.”

“Let’s get this party started then!”

The photographer tapped the play button on the radio to fill the silence in the room and got to shooting.

“Good, now can you raise the title up with your right arm and give us the Hardy symbol with your left?”

I did as told and even stuck out my tongue during it.

“That looks awesome! Come take a look.”

Relief swam through me as I finally got to drop my arm for a few moments, and I stepped forward to glance at the screen. Joseph, the photographer, turned the screen to me and I gasped in shock. It was me throwing up the hardy symbol and my title but standing on either side of me were my brothers Jeff and Matt.

“Congrats sis!”

I whipped my head back around to where I was just standing and there were Matt and Jeff.

“Wha- I thought you wouldn’t be able to make it! You lied to me!”

Jeff launched forward and wrapped me in a tight hug.

“We got here right as you were making your entrance. Matt and I were able to rearrange some things and get here just in time.”

Jeff released me just in time for Matt to wrap me up in his arms as well.

“You did it sis. We’re so proud of you! There’s a new champ in the family.”

Joseph spoke up, startling me out of my thoughts.

“How about we do a few photos of the three of you now that you know that they are here? We can show the photos to Vince and maybe he can use them on WWE.com.”

So, the three of us posed together for a bunch of photos and this time the smile on my face was as genuine as it could get. My brothers got to see me wrestle and win my first title at WrestleMania. What more could a girl ask for?

[og-danny-dorito]

SpiderMan Noir Headcanons

S F W:

- he gets very flustered very easily, but he's good at hiding it. for instance, of you say something to compliment him he'll just blush up and cross his arms, quietly thanking you for the compliment and seeming like he doesn't care much. but under that mask his face is bright red and his mind is racing

- since he has such bad eyesight (he's near sighted) he can really barely see without his glasses, so he ends up getting very nervous when he can't find them in the morning. like his eyesight is so bad that if he tries to look at something without the mask it's just a blur of mixed colors and light and he can't make out anything

- this causes him to actually have lenses specifically for his eye type in his mask, rather than having a pear of bulky glasses underneath. it's more tactical that way (can't punch nazis if you can't see em)

- he doesn't actually take a lot of time to do his hair in the morning, surprisingly. while his hair isn't extremely neat and he takes pride in how cleanly cut it is, he ends up not having the time to actually do it. he's either rushing out or the door to work or rushing to stop some crime that's been happening that requires urgent assistance. this also means that he barely ever eats breakfast, and when he does he ends up just stuffing it in his face before running out of the door

- with an s/o I'd imagine he'd try to regulate this so he can eat breakfast with them in the morning, but that almost never happens and he ends up coming home nearly exhausted and ends up just eating dinner with them instead

- on the rare occasion he does get to spend some quality time with them though, he makes the most of it by giving them ALOT of affection. quite honestly he appreciates them, even though he thinks he doesn't do a good job of showing it sometimes. he's young but he's always busy 

- normally peter’s a pretty clean guy, and so if he's on a patrol he doesn't exactly get hurt a lot, but he's not invincible. most of the time he ends up coming home at 3:00 am with his side bleeding or some of his clothes ripped, resulting in you having to haul out of bed to stitch him up. honestly you should have a medical degree by now from how many times he's come home needing stitches

- since his timeline takes place during WWII, it's safe to assume that he's nearly an expert on being conservative. no, I don't mean conservative as in run-of-the-mill dude in the southern hills, I mean conservative as in repairing nearly everything. seriously, he doesn't want to have to spend money on new clothes and so he just resorts to repairing everything

- this means that socks, shirts, even things that have just grown old with time are usually mended up and fixed in no time, earning him nearly expert stitching skills. he's even sewed a few things! (even though he ended up forgetting about them entirely and denying he ever made them once you'd find them)

- idk where I found the pic, but I saw this art of noir smoking and I was like 👀 interesting do you mind if I take that concept dear sir/ma’am/unspecified-gender-person (actually wait i found it  https://mobile.twitter.com/kookirani/status/1082319828247994369)

-  yeah, he smokes, I know that's craaaaazy

- it's mostly a coping mechanism, in all honesty. on the contrary he wouldn't know that its kinda dangerous though, since smoking was deemed as dangerous in the late 1950s and WWII took place during the late 1930s-1940s. so yeah, to him it's totally normal (a lil bit of facts there for y'all)

- a lot of the time you'll be able to find him standing on the balcony with a cigarette between his lips, his shirt off for the bandages and other things to get some air as he tries to ease into his own comfortability and think over what he could've done better over the past patrol. it's almost like an assessment of sorts

- speaking of not having shirts on, he's about 5″10 and has a sorta muscular build. obviously his shoulders a broad, and so he really look so like a grown ass man with his deep voice to accompany his aesthetic. he's got a lot of scars as well from previous accidents, such as one on his lower torso from being stabbed while breaking up a street fight and one on his knee where he accidentally flew into a wall. but while he may seem rough and hardened on the exterior, he's got a few weaknesses that prove that he's really just a kid wearing a suit (he's 19 btw)

- on an angst level, he's too compassionate for his own good. for instance, he doesn't kill, but finds it right in his mind to offer redemption to his opponents while still defending the weak and helpless, just as he once was. while he's not a complete pushover obviously he does help people a lot out of the mask. people are struggling during these times, and the women and families that need his help are still out there and around him (it's WWII, shits not great)

- this means that he frequently fixes things for neighbors when they can't afford a repairman, comforts kids who lost their mothers in the crowded streets of Queens, defends minorities both with and without the mask, and so on and so forth. overall he's just a nice guy with a strong sense of justice, and doesn't mind to occasional scrape or so on his knees if it means protecting the people he cares about without even meeting

- peter ends up getting a little...reckless because of this though

- when that's said, that's means that he will literally jump in front of a bullet for anyone. even if it gets him hurt. he's selfless, and a lot of the time he's hurt because of it. but telling him that he can't possibly save everyone is pointless

- “"So what? I should stop trying just because I can't help everyone? That means helping no one gets the same results. I'm not gonna watch people drop like flies cause I can't save the world.”

- yeah angsty as fuck, but he means it. his words come out harsh, but he tries to apologize for being so rough

- “"I'm sorry, I just...” He'd pause. “"I can't watch it anymore. I'm not a bystander. I won't be a bystander.”

- and with that he'll pull you into a hug and just hold onto you tightly, almost as if you'll fade away and leave him if he doesn't

- you're part of him, and you might be on earth of the only things keeping him safe. you're the representation of the good he protects, and god help him I feel he ever fails at something to simple

- anyway that's enough angst let's talk about LIVING with him :3

- it's the little moments that mean the most to him, in all honesty. he doesn't even need you to be the domestic one really, since he views you both as a team rather than husband and housewife

- he usually does most of the cleaning and cooking though I'd imagine since Aunt May taught him to clean up after himself and respect his and everyone else’s space. you going out and getting groceries or just cleaning the clothes for him is enough, so if you're one to typically work around the house more often and take the time to make sure everything's is perfect, he'll partially thank heaven they sent you to him and feel a lot like he's slacking on his part

- he likes to pamper you, give you gifts. expect a bouquet of flowers almost every Friday when he comes home, his smile wide on his face as he professes his love to you through a bunch of cheesy one-liners

- but he also likes to be taken care of and pampered himself, although he never admits it. once again anything small makes him happy, so if you go all out he literally can't stop thanking you. washing his hair, cooking for him, making him things, he loves everything, and appreciates the thought behind it

- to be honest I'm sure he's not really attracted to a certain body type in particular, it's your kindness that infatuated him. generally polite, kindof shy people just make him that much more enamoured, but he likes someone with a good head on their shoulders and a strong sense of justice and morality just as much (if not more)

- if you were a crime fighter, peter would be absolutely enamoured with you. he knows you can hold up your own better this way, and that you don't really need that much protection. he prefers to work alone, but if he has to work as a partner with anyone it'd be you and ONLY you. no third wheels

- but this comes with a downside; peter gets extremely worried when you get injured. he knows better than anyone that it's really just part of the job, but his heart can't help but stammer a little when he sees a bloody lip and bruises all over. you bet your ass he’ll take care of whoever hurt you asap if you haven't yourself

- you hurt his s/o your ass is grass m8

- he also doesn't get really jealous, but if someone is hitting on you he feels not worthy enough or just angry in general

- he usually needs a lot of reassurance, maybe a hug or a kiss after he gets particularly emotionally exhausted. he likes to sit in silence a lot, either thinking or just watching you as you do chores around the house or watch tv. he loves you a lot, and he could watch you just absentmindedly talk about your day or your friends for hours

- really random btw, but this dude can sing. he doesn't think it really necessary so he doesn't outwardly flaunt it, but when he's listening to a song he likes it's easy to catch him humming along to the tune or singing the chorus. it's deep, breathy, right on the verge of raspy almost, and his eyes seem calm when he does

- usually he really only listens to jazz and swing, so you can listen to him using his voice perfectly when the singer over the radio hits a particularly complicated note. if you catch him in the act though he'll immediately blush up, his whole face turning red as he stutters out something to say

- you'd take his hand, grinning, asking him he'd want to dance with you as you smile up at him widely. he agrees, letting his body press to yours as you slow dance around the kitchen, living room, etc. his head will drop to your shoulder, inhaling your scent as he sings softly to you and sways gently from side to side, sharing a moment of wordless emotion that you both understand, share, and relish in. he’ll kiss you, letting his hands fall to your waist loosely to grip you as yours to his shoulders in a sort of grounding gesture. and so you dance, sharing a quiet waltz as lovers in the comfort of your modest home

- all in all, he loves you, too much to where you'd ever imagine. he's not exactly the most sensual, yeah, but that doesn't mean he won't try. you mean the world to him, and he'll go through hell and back just to keep that smile on your face and those eyes bright

 ( for https://zovatm.tumblr.com/, love you bro <3

- Ya Boi 🖤💜💛)

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

I don't blame you at all for keeping quiet about the show. I just can't understand how the people running the CW can look at what Dabb is doing to this show and go, "Eh - good enough." It's NOT good enough. It is demonstrably terrible, and at this point I desperately hope there will be a new show runner next season who will reveal the last 2 seasons were all a dream because one of the boys was in a coma. I don't know how else to fix things without acting like the Dabb era just didn't happen.

Not sure my ask went thru… What’s up Girly-girl! Long time no comment, edit, review, rant, observation, bitch session…  we miss you! You still watching? Curious as to what you think about theses past 5 episodes. Looks like Dabb in his ultimate suckitude as a Showrunner has screwed Jensen over again and handed off his DeanMichael storyline to another. Shocker. I’ll be really pissed if he has. And it definitely looks that way.             

Hello dear!

I assume these two might have been written by you? And probably some time ago as well. I’m sorry about replying so late, but tumblr hasn’t really been a prioriy these past months. Thank you for your message though. :) I think tumblr is working perfectly alright without me though, but thank you for being sweet and saying you missed my rambles.

That being said, I don’t think there will be any rambles, specs or metas posted on my page in any foreseeable future - though I could probably just schedule the around 200 meta-, gif- and edit-posts that are still sitting in my drafts, but then again… they have collected some dust by now.

To be completely honest, it’s a combination of things why I have been silent on here. One being that my daily life with work has been pretty demanding and doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of energy after I get home, but it’s also that I simply don’t have as much to say about SPN anymore these days.

I joined fandom in the middle of S7 and my personal highlight times on here has been from S8 to S11 - those were the good old days of meta, really they were golden and I cherish that time dearly still, but fandom has changed since then (and what people deem most important as well), the show has changed and I don’t feel like I am having a place in this fandom any longer. While I also always love editing, my primary focus on tumblr and with my blog has been analysis and meta and I feel like the kind of meta I strived for, loved reading and wrote myself theme wise is no longer of any interest to the majority of people - which doesn’t really bother me, I would continue to post my views regardless, but these past 3 seasons under Dabb’s reign have been hard on me. He turned the show into something I can barely recognize as the show I fell in love with. The storytelling is a mess and so much other stuff as well that I have been very vocal about up until a few months back, but I didn’t want to be just negative any longer so I took a break hoping that maybe SPN would inspire me again to write, but Dabb’s version of SPN is so shallow, so foreseeable from miles away that it has simply not been the case.

To put it plainly, Dabb has made me fall out of love with SPN these past 3 years as he turned it into a show that has nothing in common with the show I love. Of course all of our tastes differ, but my personal favourite seasons past Kripke were the Carver years as he imo knew how to craft story, craft emotion, craft characters and he knew how to play subtle, how to set up a story and follow through, how to make your heart ache in the best way possible. His style of storytelling and showrunning is what I adored and Dabb’s style has hardy anything in common with that so the past three years watching the show, seeing canon thrown out the window, replacing deep emotion with cheap melodrama and stories that built up and had a climax to millions of stories that go nowhere has left their mark on me. It’s been a tough three years, years that were frustrating, yes even painful, it was like a relationship that you always hoped would blossom again but never did. It’s like a relationship that had all the raw potential but ended up hurting you more than it made you happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I will always love this show and there will never be another show that will have this impact on me and my life and I can guarantee that there will NEVER be a character that will mean as much to me as Dean Winchester, but Dabb era has been painful, because I cared so much about the show. I was mourning it and it’s characters while they were still there on my screen but treated with such careless hands that I needed to take a step back and to be honest, I think it was the right call. For one because no one needs a negative voice all the time, but even more so now that J2M have revealed that S15 will be the last.

I see a lot of people very broken up about it and I’d have been the same way after S8 or 9 or 10 or 11 if it had ended then, right now I feel relief - and I don’t want to hurt anybody with saying that - and strangely enough for the first time in a while interest again (I have been watching the episodes btw, but like I said… nothing that would need to be written about - aside from Jensen rocking it with his Michael struggle, which like you said now has been given to someone else, once more) and a faint bit of hope and even happiness, because this way they should be able to craft an ending that is planned from the get-go. And that is something that could be very good for the storyline - then again, sadly I doubt that someone like Dabb could pull it all together. But here’s to hoping. All I want at this point is for them to make it count, make it worth it - I’d love nothing more than seeing the first episode of S15 and feeling like writing meta again.

So, what does it all add up to? I know this is a long ramble, but I felt it was overdue given my silence on here. I don’t know how often I’ll be on here from now on, I’ll check in here and there, but I doubt I’ll be posting much. To everybody who is hurting due to SPN coming to an end: HUGS. Really selfishly I can say I truly don’t hurt or feel broken up, I feel more like resolution is finally on the horizon and potential for a wonderful ending. And something that I will always be grateful for is the people this show has brought into my life, people who’ll stay in my life way past this show, that’s what makes the show count: just like the character will transcend, keep living, so will these friendships for life and that’s how this show will become “immortal”. Not through the storylines, not through the 15 seasons it aired, it had impact through and due to the people who watched it and who found like minded people through it they can consider close friends and even family now.

Anyway, if I could have one wish fulfilled, it would be to get all of the good writers back on the show for this last hurra, Ben Edlund, Jeremy Carver, Sera Gamble, Raelle Tucker, Robbie Thompson and Adam Glass for example and of course Eric Kripke. Let them pen the ending to the show that famously once said “endings are hard, but nothing ever truly ends, does it”. And yes, I still stand by my sceanrio that I have written about many a times before in terms of endings. I’d love it if the ending scene was a shot of the Impala on some stretch of the road (the brothers may have died fighting the good fight or finally retired or whatever else) and some guy who looks to be lost, but a good soul tries the door and it swings open. He sits down, rumages through the car to find the keys and finally looks into the glove compartment where a thick envelope sits that reads:

“For you”

And the guy picks me it up and opens it and inside there’s a leather journal, reminiscent of John’s but not his and a folded piece of paper and the keys to the Impala. And you can see in Dean’s handwriting there’s written:

“May she be as much of a home to you as she was for me and my brother. Treat her well, or I swear I’ll haunt your ass.”

And the guy laughs and turns on the ignition, “Back in Black” starts blasting from the radio so that he turns down the volume and fumbles for the journal, opens it up and looks at the first page that says:

“My name is Dean Winchesters. And then is my story. Buckle up.”

[thetourguidebarbie]

The emergency contact one??

From a list of exes to lovers prompts. I wrote this in one sitting at work, so no readover, but I hope you guys like it! Dedicated to @goldcaught, who had to sit with the fact that I was writing a kc threesome like a champ. I can’t tell if the cut worked. Sorry!

xxx

Caroline froze as the familiar opening notes of a very pointed break up song blared out from her phone, too surprised to reach for it. She’d never expected Klaus to call her again, and the fact that he’d have known she’d be at work made her even less inclined to give him the time of day.

“Taylor Swift? Really?” her officemate drawled.

Caroline resisted the urge to attack Liv with the nearest heavy office supply, settling for an icy glare. The clip started over and Caroline snatched the phone from her desk to silence it, hesitating at the words on the screen.

Klaus (Work)

Why would he be calling from his office phone? She only had the number for emergencies when he wasn’t answering his personal phone, and even when he had called her from work it had always been on his cell. “I have to take this,” Caroline said. It could be important, right? Why else would he call?

It wasn’t that she still wanted to hear his stupid smug voice.

In a rare showing of being able to read the fucking room, Liv excused herself, closing the office door behind her.

Caroline swallowed, swiping across the screen before she lost her nerve and holding it to her ear. “Hello?”

“Hi. Is this Caroline Forbes?” a definitely American, definitely female voice asked.

Caroline frowned. “Yeah. Why—“

“You’re Klaus’s emergency contact, right?”

Caroline felt her heart drop to her stomach, her lungs suddenly feeling like lead. “Yeah, I’m his...Is he...Is something wrong?”

She felt like she couldn’t breathe, her hands shaking so hard that she nearly dropped the phone as the woman talked. There had been an accident, she said. Someone had been going down the stairs on their phone and had knocked into him. He’d fallen a few flights of stairs. Four or five, maybe? She wasn’t sure, but of course they’d called the ambulance immediately. That she understood that it must be a shock, and the company was so sorry. The company’s thoughts were with her at this difficult time, of course. It must be a bit overwhelming, she knew, but they did have his briefcase and a few personal belongings, and if Caroline might want to—

“What hospital?” Caroline interrupted impatiently. “Where is he?”

“St. John’s Medical Foundation. But we just have one or two things for you to sign—“

“If you think I’m going to drive across town to sign paperwork when my fiance is in the hospital—“

“Of course, I just meant—“

“Send someone over with his stuff,” Caroline said impatiently, already grabbing her purse and pulling on her jacket. “Consider me notified. Bye.”

She didn’t think twice about rushing out, Liv giving her a sympathetic look when Caroline explained briefly where she was going, promising to pass the news along to Meredith.

Her fingers were shaking as she walked through the parking lot pawing through her purse for her keys, and she swore when she realized she left them on her desk. Waiting for her uber took too much time, gave her an opportunity to think about why she was dropping everything to make sure he was okay. They’d broken up six months ago after a colossal argument that had left her sobbing and raw, his expression stoney and resolute as he packed an overnight bag.

He hadn’t even come to get his things, and it wasn’t like she was going to do him the favor of gathering them. All of his stuff was in boxes in the garage, pushed against the wall and neatly labeled. It was her house after all, her Mom having left her everything she owned, and Klaus could more than afford movers to gather his stuff and bring it to his new probably-swanky apartment in a highrise.

He had probably held off just to be petty, to make her look at his stuff and feel her heart break all over again. She hated that she still missed him, had blocked Rebekah’s number after the thinly-veiled hints that Klaus missed her too.

Of course he did. She was a fucking catch.

She shivered, regretting her decision to wear a light jacket. It wasn’t like she expected to be standing in the freezing cold waiting for April-in-a-white-Prius relitigating all of her Klaus-related feelings, but still.

The drive wasn’t any better, the jaunty Christmas music on the radio only making everything worse. April apparently didn’t have any understanding of how social cues worked, trying to engage her in a conversation about holiday plans despite Caroline’s short answers, and she was thankful when they finally pulled up to the hospital.

When she arrived at Klaus’s hospital room she felt her throat close, her eyes filling with tears. He had his eyes closed, though it wasn’t clear whether he was sleeping or unconscious. The nurse that arrived a few minutes later gave her a small smile, gesturing to the guest chair by the bed.

“He’ll be fine,” she said, giving Caroline a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “He was lucky. A concussion isn't anything to sneeze at of course, but with a little rest he’ll be fine. Just keep an eye on him and make sure he stays in bed. We’ll keep him until tonight to get all his injuries sterilized and wrapped up and then I’ll get you some instructions for his care. If all goes well you can take him home tonight.”

“Me?” Caroline squeaked, belatedly realizing at the nurse’s raised eyebrows that of course the nurse would think that was why she was there. “Um, okay.”

What was she supposed to do? Say no? Let him rot?

“You can stay until then if you like. He’s just sleeping.”

“Thanks,” Caroline said, feeling a bit awkward. She pulled out her phone, hoping for a distraction.

[Bonnie]: Are you okay?? Liv said you’re at the hospital!!

[Bonnie]: Caroline???

[Bonnie]: Do I need to come over?????

Caroline winced, trying to weigh how to respond.

[Caroline]: I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’m apparently still Klaus’s emergency contact. He fell down the stairs, apparently.

[Bonnie]: Good.

[Caroline]: OMG BONNIE!!!!!!!!

[Bonnie]: Am I supposed to pretend to like him again?

[Caroline]: Not sure yet. Stay tuned.

[Caroline]: btw can you do me a favor?

[Bonnie]: Depends...

[Caroline]: Can you drive my car to the hospital? Keys are on my desk.

[Caroline]: I’ll pay for your uber back AND buy you dinner.

[Bonnie]: Fine. I’m about to leave work anyway.

Caroline sent a string of heart emojis and looked up when she heard a groan, catching her breath when Klaus stirred, his eyes opening slowly.

She licked her dry lips, resisting the urge to grab his hand. “Hey.”

He moved his head to look at her fast enough that he winced, reaching to touch his head and swearing under his breath.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” she said, knowing she sounded like she was scolding but not particularly caring. “I’ll call the nurse. I know you hate that.”

He snorted, laying back against the pillows.

“Why’re you here?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Hi to you too, you jerk. FYI its because your work called. Apparently you weren’t organized enough to change your emergency contact.”

“Did you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course,” she lied, feeling a pang in her chest when she saw a flash of hurt. “What? You were pretty clear about not wanting me to bother you.”

He took a deep, shaky breath. “And yet, you’re here.”

“Do you want me to go? I’m happy to leave you to have a pity party all by yourself.”

“Don’t go,” he said quickly, too quickly, and she felt a bit satisfied at his hasty answer even though she knew she shouldn’t.

She sat back in her chair with her arms crossed, and he sighed, staring at the ceiling. “Sorry, sweetheart.”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

His lips thinned, and they lingered in awkward silence for a few seconds before she changed the subject. “The nurse said you can go home tonight. I’ll drive you.”

“All right.”

“You’re welcome.”

He smiled slightly, still not looking at her. “Thank you, Caroline. I do appreciate you taking the time. Truly.”

She huffed. “Whatever.”

She checked the clock, wondering when the nurse would be back. She was starting to regret coming, was mad at herself that she’d thought there would even be a slight chance of him being anything but a total asshole. She should have learned her lesson, honestly.

“Why are you really here, Caroline?”

“I told you, your work called, and—“

“You could have texted Bekah or Elijah. Or Kol, if you felt like being particularly vindictive. Lord knows I don’t deserve your help after what I did.” She smiled slightly. That he was totally right about, at least. “But you’re here. Why?”

She sighed, staring past his bed at the shades of the hospital window. “I wanted to make sure you were okay,” she admitted. “Yeah, we broke up, but we were together for four years. It’s not like I stopped caring about you just because you were a Grade-A jerk.”

He looked almost confused when she met his eyes. Surprised. Hopeful, even?

She looked down at her hands, clearing her throat. “Anyway, I’ll just—“

“I never stopped loving you, Caroline,” he interrupted, and she looked up at him in surprise.

“Umm...Thanks?”

His lips twisted into a smile that held no humor. “I tried to. Pretended that what happened wasn’t at all my fault. Hoped I could walk away and let you go, and I couldn’t.”

“What happened was your fault,” she couldn’t help but point out, her need for I-told-you-sos a convenient excuse to ignore how quickly her dumb traitor heart was melting.

His lips quirked, his hand moving as though he was hoping to take hers. “I want to be with you, Caroline.”

“You have a concussion and just nearly died. I don’t think now is the time for big confessions.”

“I’ve wanted to say it since the moment I left.”

“Then why didn’t you?” she asked, trying to quell the hurt but giving up almost immediately, letting her voice shake.

“I didn’t think you wanted...” he trailed off, but she waited for him to finish. “Me. Us.”

“You never asked.”

“Do you?” he asked, looking at her with clear trepidation.

“I did,” she said slowly, not meeting his eyes. “I mean, I do in theory, but...”

“But I was a prick,” he finished.

“To put it nicely.”

He was quiet for a second before taking a deep breath and giving her the same look that had always stolen the breath from her lungs. “It’s your choice, of course. But I love you, Caroline. And I’m sorry for hurting you.”

She swallowed. “Thanks.”

She wanted to forgive him, couldn’t imagine her life without him, and every part of her was screaming for her to admit what both of them knew, that she wanted him too.

“One chance,” she said finally.

“One is all I need, sweetheart. I promise.”

[fairlightfitz]

2018 so far.

I need to shoot it straight with you guys. 

I’ve heard of hurt and confusion on your end of things. I hope to inspire some clarification. 

Let’s rewind to December... or maybe even November. Possibly May 2017. 2017 was the most confusing year of my life while 2018 then become straight up discombobulating. How can I account for a myself and how i come out of a relationship that lasted a measly 10 months... or maybe 18 depending on how you look at it. To be clear, I am still trying to make sense of it on my own. Well not completely on my own, I pay someone a good amount of money just to talk about my mind’s thoughts and my heart’s hurts. 

I fell in love with a man. For some reason that's always the beginning of the end for me. Which is why I am so picky and don’t do it often. Falling in love turns my life to shreds. It leaves the people that I know and love behind and confused. It’s happened once... twice...and now three times. For the record it destroys me. I don’t know how to process my past, and therefore can’t begin to hope for my future. I know vaguely what I want, but these days I can’t even hope. Being honest with myself is the hardest part... which is why being an honest and open with you is even harder. 

I hope you have a cuppa, this could be a while. 

In November, the man i loved and hoped for and believed for told me “he didn’t know”. He told me he couldn’t choose me, and therefore couldn’t even be friends with me, because otherwise he’d never be able to move on from me. Because that makes sense right?

So I pushed the loss of hope, the rejection aside, and determined within myself to push him behind me, and move on. I didn’t confront my hurt, my confusion, my loss... that’s now how I roll. I move on, stay active, pour myself into distractions ranging from work, travel. or... a house? (that's another story for another time). My shoving my hurt and heart ache aside worked for a grand total of one whole month. 

Then the strangest thing happened. The man that I was so hurt by was the only one to speak truth and identity to a different type of a hurt heart. The confusion within me swirled around me and dropped me out of mid air. At that point I couldn’t process anything. I could only dwell on how much I missed the man I had chosen to love, but had not chosen me despite him knowing me so deeply. 

I was a mess, and I was broken. But even I didn’t know the extent of it. 

I barely carried myself through the holidays. All i thought of was the past year and its highs and lows. I remembered a Christmas in love, and ached for it. 

At this point some people started to clue in... but barely. Which I completely understand. It’s the holidays, there’s happiness and joy and cheer, who is going think about me? No one, and while sad, it’s also okay and understood. But even so, New Year’s Eve was looming. I thought about the party, my friends, nearly all of them couples and seemingly happy. I couldn’t muster the energy to put a smile on my face and pretend to be happy. 

I couldn’t do it. The thought filled me with a deep dread. 

Please know, all of these feeling were so new and foreign to me that I didn’t even wholly know what was happening. And so, I did what I knew best. I ran away. 

I decided to work NYE, and be “responsible.” But in all honesty I was sick. Physically... Emotionally... Mentally. All of it. I didn’t know the extent of it at the time. Truly. All I knew, is that I couldn’t muster the strength to be present and “strong” around those who know me the best. That’s how bad it was. 

So away I flew. I came home being unable to speak due to my first ever bout of Laryngitis, but I came home ready to start fresh. Ready to take control of my heart and mind, and push 2017 behind me. 

Then I found out news that truly devastated and broke me. 

My ex had been invited to a party by a close friend. A party that consisted of my people, my clan. He was invited and he attended. I still have no idea why, and mark it as the second most selfish thing he has ever done. The thoughts ran through my brain... “my friends like him more than me,” “he rejected me but wants my world,” “did he go there hoping to see me?” “if he was there, what else will he be at? -- Do I have to be prepared at all times to see him?” “I’M NOT READY TO SEE HIM!,” “If my friends are inviting him to stuff, they’re not safe.,” “Who are these people that would choose my ex over me, someone they’ve known for 10+ years,” “everyone likes my ex better than me, he’s more likable” and SO ON AND SO FORTH. The endless series of thoughts fed the next and wouldn’t end. It took weeks for them to even slow down. Imagine, if you can, the torment of being rejected and not chosen by the man whom you had committed to in so many ways, not being enough for him... but also your whole people group then choosing that person and no one taking care of you in the process. 

I recognize that this is all extreme and that there are plenty of untruths in all of this. But I was so alone, and had no one to turn to because I had built up my friend group to be so intertwined and mingled, that there was no undoing the the interwoven complexities of relationships all around me. Everyone was connected, and by few degrees were connect to Him. So therefore, no one was safe. 

In my hurt, anger, bitterness, confusion, and sadness (all terrible feeling, btw), I shut down all the way. I powered down and told everyone I was going hermit status. I couldn’t cope and I couldn’t process. I felt like my world had crumbled around me a hundred times over. it was so brutal. 

I poured myself into work and distracted myself by buying a house... because that’s all i could grasp for. I had nothing. I felt empty, betrayed, rejected and hurt. But how do you face that all alone? Quick answer, you don’t!

January trudged by. After a few weeks of ignoring the outside world and pushing everyone away, I decided to reach out to a friend for insight and wisdom. I respected her, and knew she would tell me straight up if I was completely out of line. I had to sit in her driveway sobbing for at least 15 minutes before she came out and got me. I spent the next five, 5!, hours on her couch, blubbering and crying and trying to sort out one train of thought from the other. In the end, she never said I was way off track, she just said, “your heart is hurting and that’s true and valid.” And that marked the first time I hadn’t felt totally crazy. 

From there, I built out step by step. I talked to Amy, I talked to my dad, then next day I talked to my mom. They all could finally glimpse the madness and confusion within me. They saw into my heart and its hurt. They heard me, and didn’t reject me. And that meant the world. They knew me, they saw my ugly, and they still chose to love me despite. 

So I felt like I was rebuilding. 

Then I ran into a friend post church one Sunday. When I saw her, my heart lurched. I missed her, it was as simple as that. We had a quick two minute casual exchange, and walking away my heart swelled thinking that I was slowly normalizing back to the “old fairlight.” then two hours later, I received an angry text... a text... communicating a lot of judgement towards me. it was very attacking and shocking, and it sent me right back down again.

I felt like an injured animal in a way... I was inching towards a friendly hand, but then that hand smacked me behind the head and sent me running. I could only cower and wonder what all my other “friends” thought of me. 

This is the point in the story that one very good and wise friend asked me if I ever would consider talking to a professional about all that I was going through. 

After seeing him and talking through my year’s experience thus far, he validated my heart hurt. My injury came from my ex, yes, but also my people, my clan. The way I build my community is very focused. I used to say that my goal in life was “For all my friends to be friends with all my friends.” To me, that would be glorious. I love my people, and want them all to love each other as well. But when I cut out the group that was connected to the ex, I had to cut everyone. 

It took reconnecting with my high school friends that I barely saw or talked to to realize I needed people not connected to him in any way. I needed space and time to heal. I knew I had to recede from all my social life. I had to feel safe with myself, and then a few, and then handful, before reconnecting. initially I had estimated a year of hermit status. But I made it to 6 months, and finally I’m seeing the flicker of hope in the distance. My heart doesn’t ache... and to be clear, it was never broken. I won’t give him that. I can’t. I am strong, but I am so so weak. I am tired of holding myself up without the support of my community. I am this, and I am that. I can’t explain it all the way. 

But please realize, I have started to reframe that whole word of ��community” and its meaning in my life. Who are my people? What are my expectations for my friendships. Am I allowed to even have exceptions? Some say yes, and some say no. So where does that leave me? I literally have no idea. If you can, please bear with me. 

This story continues and turn, and takes a couple of sharp curves that I didn’t even expect. 

But what I want you all to know, is that I am rebuilding, I miss most of you so intensely and deeply, but truly fear the consequences of my own brokenness. I’ve reached out to a few, and have been warmly received and accepted. While others I’ve only heard radio silence. I don’t hold that contrast again anyone. We are all doing the best we can. Maybe my best feels like your bare minimum. 

I’m truly deeply sorry if you were hurt and rejected by my response (or lack thereof) to you. I hope my words illuminate some of the muck I was working my way through. I’m trying my darnedest to come out of it. I’ve been wanting to write all of this for at least three months, but it’s been scary to sit down and write this all out. I’m trying to get healthy again. Some of you might note the lack of mention of God in all of this. I won’t shy away from the fact that the chasm of distance I’ve felt between Him and I is vast. I wondered where He was, where was His voice, His hope, that strength I hear so much about... Trust me, I’ve heard all of the trite responses to the pain and hurt I’ve experience this year and last. They don’t help. While He feels far way, I know he’s there. I’m still in a grieving process. I was angry, I was so mad. So I pushed Him away, too. I’ll circle back around when it’s time, and I think it’s nearly time. So don't worry, I’m not a hopelessly lost little lamb. I’ll be okay.