dustydreamsanddirtyscars

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

Hi! I'm interested in the Angel Pass you posted about? Your post said it's for Jib 11, but the upcoming JibCon is Jib 12, that takes place in August of 2022. Was that just mistype? Or is that post old? Thanks!

Hi there!

No, the post is new and the pass is still available. The next scheduled JIB is the one in February 2022. That’s the JIB11 and that’s the one I am selling my pass for.

Hope that helps to clear it up. :)

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

Angel Pass Handover for JIB 11

I would like to hand over my Angel Pass for JIB 11 including:

1 photo op with Jensen Ackles

1 photo op with Jared Padalecki

1 photo op with Matt Cohen

1 photo op with Richard Speight Jr.

Ticket for Monday night concert

If you are interested in receiving my pass, please write me a message on tumblr.

It would be awesome if you could reblog this, so that I am able to reach more people with my offer. :) Thank you!

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

So, thing is.... I have not watched the episode. I just was spoilered on the explore page on youtube when looking up news and there it was. Thank you so much algorithm for ruining the only episode in 4 years that I actually would have liked to watch unspoilered. That’s off the table now of course…. That said. I will watch it later in full. So take all of this with a shitton of salt, because my opinion is basically based only on Dean’s death scene and Sam’s life montage and the ending in Heaven of them meeting again without any in between so I might miss some vital infos – and yeah maybe I should have waited to post after I have seen the full episode first, then again, it doesn’t really matter, my opinion doesn’t matter, as I have not been involved with fandom or tumblr in ages, but maybe my impression can help someone somewhere to feel a bit better about this ending.

So, with that said. And I guess this will be a surprise to most people, these little ten minutes of episode to me delivered more emotion – though the hair and make up on Jared as Aging!Sam was just awful lol so I am ignoring all that – than all of the past 4 years combined.

Is the ending dissatisfying? I can see how people think that. I have to say, I look at it more objectively since I am not involved in fandom etc. anymore. But imo and I really would not have ever expected to say that about an episode written by Dabb. Imo this ending does make sense. I see a lot of posts going around saying that this ending doesn’t make sense, because of the season long arc of the death of the author and fight for free will and that it is the badly written ending Chuck would have penned. And I kind of think no, it isn’t. It’s just that many people treated the past seasons or watched them with rose coloured glasses.

I have expressed in a single post last week why I have issues with Dabb’s era and people’s appraisal of him, because they excused all the bad writing with that only having been „Chuck’s bad writing“ and therefore Dabb and Co were so extremely clever and amazing and soooooo meta. Which yeah, no Dabb was no genius and neither was a Berens. It was objectively bad and lazy writing. This ending however imo actually makes sense – and people only hate it because they did not get what they wanted. Did I get what I wanted from this ending? Not by a long shot – for one: Dean would have deserved more. Much could have been done better, but from the quality or rather extreme lack thereof since Dabb took over, this ending is more than I ever would have expected possible.

So let me get into the meat of it and why I think that way. I can see why it is frustrating to accept this ending, because it feels like all of what they went through was for nothing, because it was never „truly them“ - and I guess that was Jensen’s biggest issue with that ending – and that Dean dies so quickly after just having been free(d). You see, if you operate with the death of the author and celebrating that fact, because it means true free will for the Winchesters then this ending simply – as dissatisfying as it may feel for the character who just achieved freedom – is a fitting one and indeed does not negate character development made (which arguably was influenced by Chuck and never real), but rather showcases it.

Dean dieing on a hunt, in a mundane fashion, due to a rusty nail many say is a disgrace, because it should have been an epic fighting scene or whatever. Why though? We had that countless times. We know Dean is a skilled fighter. He did many Big bads in. Why would it need one more for the final episode? Especially when considering all those times before Chuck has been pulling the strings (this is much more why I think they never should have introduced God in that way and go this route, because that in fact destroys all of the past – which again is why I think Jensen struggled with the ending). Again, I understand people’s discomfort, but I actually think Dean dieing on a hunt, in a mundane fashion, due to a rusty nail is a „good“ (as good as it can get with Dabb & Co) ending. Why? Because it all was entirely Dean. No Chuck. No big story. It was Dean. It was Dean writing his own story. Holding the pen. And That is all I ever wanted (would I have wanted it for him to be able to do it longer, hell yes, but even getting Dean’s joy of being free just for one day imo is worth it and worth more than a lifetime as a puppet for a cruel God). Dean died while doing what he believed in, what he loved doing, with his brother by his side and them both on the same page and not butting heads, he was there out of his own free will, he was not supercharged by an special weapon and he was most of all not indestructable because he was a plaything of God. He died, because he was/is free. Because that is what happens when life happens. And life is tragic. That’s what this is. A tragic death. A tragic death of a wonderful human being. And that’s always what I loved dean for: his humanity and his flaws.

And I don’t see/read it as Dean only finding happiness or true free will in death, though I understand why you could read it that way, absolutely. But imo seeing it that way only cuts things short. Dean was able to let go, he was able to say goodbye to Sam (now his whole speech about him being weaker than Sam etc., that part was enraging and unnescessary, but for the sake of the much despised „bigger picture“ I will ignore it here, because that part I have big issues with). That means he did „overcome“ his „always be there for Sammy“ and giving himself up in the process of doing that (and again yes, that he was only to overcome this when dieing makes this part pretty problematic, very much so – but then again, I don’t expect well crafted story from Dabb, so…). Every single time before (when God was still in the picture) the Winchesters did something bad to undo „death“, etc. whether that was what they would have done if God was not in the picture is up for debate, but in any case here Sam and Dean met one another on eye level. Sam let Dean go and he lived with the grief (yeah, the irony of Dabb trying to replicate „Swan Song“ with roles reversed just in a spectacularly worse way is not lost on me, believe me), but he kept going, didn’t go to extremes to reverse it. He lived with it. Because that’s how life happens. Most of the time it’s not fair. And it’s not what we deserve. But we „carry on“. And we keep writing our story. However a tragic one it might be. But at least it’s ours. We are the paper. We are the pen. And not a bit of spilled ink in Death’s or God’s book. And I happen to think that is as good as it gets…

Alright, those are my two cents on an episode that I haven’t seen lol. I am sure once I see it, there will be a lot of things I will probably dislike about it, but just from the small but probably big bits of the episode, these are my two cents. Don’t get up in arms over it. I am not here to fight. Have never been. And I sure won’t start now that I probably will never log back into this account. :)

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

*appears back on tumblr for the first time in years only to post a “wanky” post that really is not important lol because well, the damage is done... but yeah*

You know, the thing is... Saying the writing of the past seasons of SPN and this finale one was so clever and good and freaking golden, because it simply shows so amazingly that Chuck is and has always been an awful writer is a pretty lame excuse for how objectively lame, lazy and bad the writing has been and absolves the writing staff of all their laziness and inability to truly craft meaningful stories and raw and true emotion.

Then again, I haven’t expected much since I have fallen out of love with the show when Dabb took over, I have not been watching the last couple of seasons with any joy, stopped watching altogether, but returned to watch along this last season in hopes they may give the show the send-off it deserves. I think they spectacularly failed on that and to be frank, I don’t know if I even want to watch the last two episodes. Maybe I should just stick to treating the episode of S11 and the glowing Samulet in Dean’s hand as SPN’s ending. Everything that came after that has IMO just been a clusterfuck and disaster.

*disappears again but wishes everybody who still loves the show a good time for the last episodes*

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

So, weirdly enough last weeks episode actually made me think about SPN in terms of meta again - and that hasn’t happened in a looooooong time - so I thought I’d leave it here. Even though I am pretty certain this is not by a long shot what Dabb and Co. have in mind because it would be way too positive and IMO wouldn’t fit with how Jensen struggled with the ending.

That said, last weeks episode was actually the first episode in years that I enjoyed because it was at least semi-cleverly written. Anyway, thing that I kept thinking about is Chuck’s line about how he can see the ending and it just being a gravestone saying “Winchester”. And well, if there is one thing that Chuck has shown in last weeks episode it is that a) that he can’t let go, b) that he has no clue what the audience wants (because they outgrew his writing and his style and his ideas) and c) he doesn’t know the Winchesters at all (he has shown that plenty of times before in S11 as well already).

Point being, he doesn’t know them, they outgrew him, took on a life of their own that doesn’t correspond with his way of seeing and writing them. Now, and like I said this is entirely too optimistic, but I think Chuck seeing a gravestone with the word “Winchester” etched into it might be the furthest thing from something to be scared of, because as I think one could read it, we aren’t talking about the death of the author here - or well, we actually kind of do, because it represents his death at the same time - but it’s the death of his characters, his version of Sam and Dean. And that version has nothing to do with the actual Sam and Dean as we know.

What I mean is: that Death that Chuck may see as Sam and Dean’s actual death may be possibly rather be read as the Winchesters final victory and being free, meaning not their death but the death of Chuck’s version of them. How did we say all those years ago when I metaed regularly? Death isn’t and ending but a transition? I don’t remember exactly but you get the gist of it...

By killing his version of Sam and Dean - that don’t really correspond with the actual Sam and Dean as people but are only characters - he may ultimately free the Winchester for good. But anyway, there’d be stepping stones to take in between and how to get there and like I said, it’s highly unlikely to go that way. But alas it was fun to spec a bit again. :)

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

N° 21 in the Series “Favourite SPN Shots” 2x08 “Crossroad Blues“ “They are used for certain rituals, right?”

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”

— C. S. Lewis

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

The “my little random moments of pleasure” series: N°1 A soft animal & beard attack (x)

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

I haven’t posted anything in ages...

...but given this is the very last season of SPN I sat down to watch the first two episodes of the finale season and well, it’s never been a secret that I absolutely despise Dabb’s showrunning - it really has been showruining if we’re being honest here - but what these two episodes confirmed to me is that there seems to be not a single capable writer left on the team and well, Dabb surely isn’t a stellar example or role model in that regard (seriously, it will never not absolutely baffle me that Dabb wrote some of my favourite episodes during Carver era when I’m comparing them to his work right now).

Anyway, I just feel sad. I have felt saddened beyond belief, betrayed and enraged throughout pretty much all of Dabb’s run and even stopped watching altogether because he managed to turn the show into a bad parody of itself. But I was nursing this tiny little bit of hope that maybe for this final season Dabb & Co. would get a grip and give the characters, the actors and yes, also the fans (though of course tastes differ and that’s cool - objectively speaking though these last seasons have been painfully bad in terms of writing) what they deserve. A well written farewell. Save to say that’s apparently off the table judging from these two episodes.

I haven’t felt angry about anything relating to SPN for a while, because well, I fell out of love with the show due to poor quality in writing and showrunning but stuck around because I freaking loved the characters, loved DEAN and always will, but dear would this show have deserved better, would have Dean deserved better, would have Jensen and Jared and all the actors who have been part of the show throughout the years deserved better. It’s a tragedy. And people who have been following me on here for a while and remember the times when I wrote countless metas each week, because the show was just so damn good, know that I love me some tragedy, but not like this. Not this way. I am in mourning for a show and a cast that would have deserved a final season that is deep, that is meaningful, that is atmospheric and emotional and not bland and washed out and just painful to watch because you can realize that half the people on screen also seem to feel kind of embarrassed that this is how it ends.

I know this will not be received well by many people - to be honest, I don’t care. I am just beyond saddened and sorry for an actor like Jensen having to suffer through the worst writing this show has seen in all it’s time in the final season. I dearly hope that maybe in the end by some miracle they’ll manage to pen a satisfying ending, but seriously, what are the odds? I’d have countless ideas which way they could go, but with Dabb at the helmet it’s useless trying to navigate a map, because he himself has no clue what those fine lines called streets and roads even are.

I’m sorry, but I’m sad. I’m angry. And I wished more than ever that SPN would have ended with the scene of the glowing Samulet in Dean’s hand in S11. I have long treated that episode as the ending of SPN, because what is currently running on tv labeled as “Supernatural” has absolutely nothing in common with the show I once fell head over heels in love with.

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

So, JIB is next week...

...and I can’t wait to board a plane to beautiful Rome with my favourite partner in crime @lemondropsonice

Wo excited for time off for the first time in 6 months!!!

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

It's been a long while since I am even on Tumblr but I just wanna say your spn songs still touch my heart, even when the show no longer does that quite much

Hello lovely!

I am so sorry for the possibly late reply due to me not having been active on tumblr in ages. Your message truly brightened up my day though. Seriously, that means so much to me, because even though SPN atm also doesn’t quite touch me anymore either, the songs I still mean and feel the very same way. Especially Dean’s song. So thank you tons for your lovely message! Xx

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

So what’s it all add up to? It’s hard to say. But me, I’d say this was a test for Sam and Dean, and I think they did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself. They made their own choice. They chose family. And, well, isn’t that kind of the whole point?

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

you don’t really post much about deancas anymore, have you stopped shipping it? are you tired of what dabb’s doing with it?

Oh dear,

no clue when you sent this ask. I truly only saw it now. But to make it short and sweet. No I don’t ship it anymore. Dabb as well as some parts of the fandom have pretty much destroyed everything that I used to love about Dean and Castiel and their dynamic. But totally unrelated to that I simply cannot see any of their interactions in any sort of romantic light anymore. In earlier seasons: absolutely. Now: Not so much.

But yeah, not a shipper anymore. But then again, I think I never truly was a typical shipper anyway since I only was interested in their interactions rther periphically - as in I cared much more about each character individually than together and it was also never my main focus for watching the show. My focus has always been and will always be Dean. :)

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

I don't blame you at all for keeping quiet about the show. I just can't understand how the people running the CW can look at what Dabb is doing to this show and go, "Eh - good enough." It's NOT good enough. It is demonstrably terrible, and at this point I desperately hope there will be a new show runner next season who will reveal the last 2 seasons were all a dream because one of the boys was in a coma. I don't know how else to fix things without acting like the Dabb era just didn't happen.

Not sure my ask went thru… What’s up Girly-girl! Long time no comment, edit, review, rant, observation, bitch session…  we miss you! You still watching? Curious as to what you think about theses past 5 episodes. Looks like Dabb in his ultimate suckitude as a Showrunner has screwed Jensen over again and handed off his DeanMichael storyline to another. Shocker. I’ll be really pissed if he has. And it definitely looks that way.             

Hello dear!

I assume these two might have been written by you? And probably some time ago as well. I’m sorry about replying so late, but tumblr hasn’t really been a prioriy these past months. Thank you for your message though. :) I think tumblr is working perfectly alright without me though, but thank you for being sweet and saying you missed my rambles.

That being said, I don’t think there will be any rambles, specs or metas posted on my page in any foreseeable future - though I could probably just schedule the around 200 meta-, gif- and edit-posts that are still sitting in my drafts, but then again… they have collected some dust by now.

To be completely honest, it’s a combination of things why I have been silent on here. One being that my daily life with work has been pretty demanding and doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of energy after I get home, but it’s also that I simply don’t have as much to say about SPN anymore these days.

I joined fandom in the middle of S7 and my personal highlight times on here has been from S8 to S11 - those were the good old days of meta, really they were golden and I cherish that time dearly still, but fandom has changed since then (and what people deem most important as well), the show has changed and I don’t feel like I am having a place in this fandom any longer. While I also always love editing, my primary focus on tumblr and with my blog has been analysis and meta and I feel like the kind of meta I strived for, loved reading and wrote myself theme wise is no longer of any interest to the majority of people - which doesn’t really bother me, I would continue to post my views regardless, but these past 3 seasons under Dabb’s reign have been hard on me. He turned the show into something I can barely recognize as the show I fell in love with. The storytelling is a mess and so much other stuff as well that I have been very vocal about up until a few months back, but I didn’t want to be just negative any longer so I took a break hoping that maybe SPN would inspire me again to write, but Dabb’s version of SPN is so shallow, so foreseeable from miles away that it has simply not been the case.

To put it plainly, Dabb has made me fall out of love with SPN these past 3 years as he turned it into a show that has nothing in common with the show I love. Of course all of our tastes differ, but my personal favourite seasons past Kripke were the Carver years as he imo knew how to craft story, craft emotion, craft characters and he knew how to play subtle, how to set up a story and follow through, how to make your heart ache in the best way possible. His style of storytelling and showrunning is what I adored and Dabb’s style has hardy anything in common with that so the past three years watching the show, seeing canon thrown out the window, replacing deep emotion with cheap melodrama and stories that built up and had a climax to millions of stories that go nowhere has left their mark on me. It’s been a tough three years, years that were frustrating, yes even painful, it was like a relationship that you always hoped would blossom again but never did. It’s like a relationship that had all the raw potential but ended up hurting you more than it made you happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I will always love this show and there will never be another show that will have this impact on me and my life and I can guarantee that there will NEVER be a character that will mean as much to me as Dean Winchester, but Dabb era has been painful, because I cared so much about the show. I was mourning it and it’s characters while they were still there on my screen but treated with such careless hands that I needed to take a step back and to be honest, I think it was the right call. For one because no one needs a negative voice all the time, but even more so now that J2M have revealed that S15 will be the last.

I see a lot of people very broken up about it and I’d have been the same way after S8 or 9 or 10 or 11 if it had ended then, right now I feel relief - and I don’t want to hurt anybody with saying that - and strangely enough for the first time in a while interest again (I have been watching the episodes btw, but like I said… nothing that would need to be written about - aside from Jensen rocking it with his Michael struggle, which like you said now has been given to someone else, once more) and a faint bit of hope and even happiness, because this way they should be able to craft an ending that is planned from the get-go. And that is something that could be very good for the storyline - then again, sadly I doubt that someone like Dabb could pull it all together. But here’s to hoping. All I want at this point is for them to make it count, make it worth it - I’d love nothing more than seeing the first episode of S15 and feeling like writing meta again.

So, what does it all add up to? I know this is a long ramble, but I felt it was overdue given my silence on here. I don’t know how often I’ll be on here from now on, I’ll check in here and there, but I doubt I’ll be posting much. To everybody who is hurting due to SPN coming to an end: HUGS. Really selfishly I can say I truly don’t hurt or feel broken up, I feel more like resolution is finally on the horizon and potential for a wonderful ending. And something that I will always be grateful for is the people this show has brought into my life, people who’ll stay in my life way past this show, that’s what makes the show count: just like the character will transcend, keep living, so will these friendships for life and that’s how this show will become “immortal”. Not through the storylines, not through the 15 seasons it aired, it had impact through and due to the people who watched it and who found like minded people through it they can consider close friends and even family now.

Anyway, if I could have one wish fulfilled, it would be to get all of the good writers back on the show for this last hurra, Ben Edlund, Jeremy Carver, Sera Gamble, Raelle Tucker, Robbie Thompson and Adam Glass for example and of course Eric Kripke. Let them pen the ending to the show that famously once said “endings are hard, but nothing ever truly ends, does it”. And yes, I still stand by my sceanrio that I have written about many a times before in terms of endings. I’d love it if the ending scene was a shot of the Impala on some stretch of the road (the brothers may have died fighting the good fight or finally retired or whatever else) and some guy who looks to be lost, but a good soul tries the door and it swings open. He sits down, rumages through the car to find the keys and finally looks into the glove compartment where a thick envelope sits that reads:

“For you”

And the guy picks me it up and opens it and inside there’s a leather journal, reminiscent of John’s but not his and a folded piece of paper and the keys to the Impala. And you can see in Dean’s handwriting there’s written:

“May she be as much of a home to you as she was for me and my brother. Treat her well, or I swear I’ll haunt your ass.”

And the guy laughs and turns on the ignition, “Back in Black” starts blasting from the radio so that he turns down the volume and fumbles for the journal, opens it up and looks at the first page that says:

“My name is Dean Winchesters. And then is my story. Buckle up.”

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

One Tall Gif per Episode →  1x12 “Faith”

“Scenery Appreciation”

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

“Often it is the most deserving people who cannot help loving those who destroy them.”

— Hermann Hesse (via quotemadness)

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

Why do shit days always have to get even more endlessly shitty throughout the day?

Like... thank you for nothing life.