#sorry for submitting it past the due date

[3igbootyl0ver]

A New Face (Pt.4) | Home

pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

summary: after eight months, you and Tara are closer than ever. Her playful texts pull you away from a project, and you spend the night cuddling, reassuring her you're not going anywhere.

word count: 981

a/n: hi guys this is literally so short bc I didn't want to ruin it + I'm already working on another part for who hurt you. this can read as a oneshot by itself hence the extra title; anyways I hope u guys like it, any feedback is appreciated and I'm proud of myself for figuring out how to do this collage thing below xoxo

It’s been 8 months since you and Tara went on your first date and started dating; since then, you’ve shared countless memories, learned more about each other than you ever expected, and your bond only has deepened, making you both excited to see what the future holds together. There’s been a mix of growth, fun and intimate moments; and although there’s a few challenges, there’s always playfulness and banter in the relationship. 

Tonight, you’re focused on finishing your project, eager to submit it at least a day before the deadline so you won’t have to rush and send in poor quality work. But then, a ping on your phone distracts you.

Tara <3

can you come over? i miss you and I’m bored

Sent at 11.45pm

You

sorry babe, I can’t. i have a project due in a few days

Sent at 11.47pm

Tara <3

guess i’ll just sit in bed..alone,cold

all by myself

w nobody to cuddle with. allll alone

You

oh shut up I’m putting my shoes on

Sent at 11.55pm

This usual banter happens often. Honestly, you didn’t mind how clingy Tara is, you knew what the younger Carpenter has been through. She decided to let you know about her past after a month of dating, with what happened to her and the core four a year ago; and you comforted her with cuddles and kisses with soft whispers for being brave and having to go through all of that.

It’s almost midnight, but the way Tara’s playful messages cut through the tranquil night, it’s hard not to smile. You know her well enough to recognize when she’s pretending to be dramatic—and when she’s genuinely feeling a little lonely or vulnerable.The little banter between the two of you has become a ritual, a comfort. But beneath it all, there’s that deep understanding of each other’s lives, pasts, and fears. You know Tara’s history, and you know she’s been through a lot. You could never understand how anyone would willingly put her in harms way. A single glance from her could make you melt into a puddle, as if the weight of the world disappeared in the softness of her eyes, leaving you both grounded and utterly undone at the same time.

 You know that when you get to her place, all the tension in your body will melt away. As you head out, a small part of you can’t help but reflect on how far you’ve both come in just eight months—how much you’ve both grown together. Every little moment, where you can simply drop everything and be there for each other, makes all the difference.

Tara’s got a special place in your heart, and tonight, it’s all about making her feel seen, heard, and loved. For so long, the idea of "home" felt like a distant concept, something that belonged to a life you couldn’t fully reclaim after your parents passed. You thought you’d never feel settled again, that kind of deep connection, the feeling of being truly seen and understood. But with Tara, it’s different. It’s effortless, the way she makes you feel both grounded and free. Her presence fills spaces in your heart you didn’t know were empty.

As you may your way to her place, a soft smile tugs at the corner of your lips. It’s funny how simply being with her, in her space, cuddling under the blankets, or sharing small moments of laughter, feels more like home than anything else ever has. When you knock on her door, she’s already standing there, as if she already felt your presence from a block away; wrapped in a blanket, her hair falling messily around her face, and that familiar twinkle of mischief in her eyes. “You’re late,” she teases, her voice a soft mixture of playfulness and a hint of relief. Ever since you both got together, Tara’s been more anxious, fearing that Ghostface might pop out and take you from her. She’s expressed her concerns to you, and you’ve made sure to constantly remind her that you aren’t going anywhere. “I’m not going anywhere, Tara— you’re stuck with me, no matter what.” Besides, you don’t mind constantly texting her and sending pictures of whatever you’re up to.

“Lay with me? Please?” You fold almost instantly, allowing her to pull you into her bedroom while making sure to keep quiet, since Sam is asleep. Just as you settle onto her bed beside her, Tara does her little grabby hands and you pull her against you, her legs over yours and hugged your torso, resting her head and smiling into your shoulder, inhaling your scent as she had always associated you with safety. You smiled fondly, caressing her thigh with your hand before leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. Tara’s eyes fluttered at the gesture, and you can feel your heart soar at how adorable she is.

“I love you, so, so much. Did you know that?” You whispered close to her forehead. The warmth of your whisper sent a gentle shiver down her spine. “I know, but I don’t mind hearing you say it again, and again..” You chuckled softly at her statement.

“I don’t mind it either, because I’ll keep saying it; every day if I have to” You smiled softly, the words lingering between you.

Before you could say more, she pressed her lips to yours, soft and gentle—the familiar taste of strawberry from her lip balm making you sigh in content. The kiss was warm, comforting, like coming home. When she pulled back, her eyes fluttered open, a shy smile tugging at her corner of her lips. “I love you more,” she whispered, her breath mingling with yours.

It was safe to say that you didn’t manage to finish your project anytime soon. But with Tara in your arms, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

--------------------

a/n: i hope this is enough for ya'll bc i literally couldn't figure out a way to continue without it being too draggy and boring. fyi 'who hurt you' pt 2 should be coming out in 2 days hopefully idk AND idk how this taglist thing works so lmk if you'd be interested in it

taglist: @bella423

[lenavovchik]

With how fast AI is progressing now, there is no doubt that the worrying questions about job loss will be pushing us more into anxiety about our future. Besides mechanical workplaces such as on a construction site or cleaning services, there is one thing that is about to be lost that worries me the most - human connections. Subconsciously, people tend to develop emotional attachment towards pretty much anything that is alive, or feels alive. The question whether or not feelings towards machines are right and justified has been explored in many pieces of media: Detroit: become human was my first thought, as well as the movie “Her” we have watched. I, too, have an experience regarding AI affecting my social life.

My personal history with playing around generative AI began in 2022, just around the time character.ai was first introduced (the website rolled into existence in the end of 2021, so not much time passed since it gained a big amount of users). It was a long story of fascination turning into dislike and even slight disgust, as what I am experiencing now. The first chat-bot I have ever tried was of a character popular at the time which I really liked, so it did not take me long to start spending hours and even whole weekends just talking to it. That was a feeling similar to what you experience when first texting your crush, and I do not think that any teenager can be blamed for wanting to spend as much time as they can talking to (not real, but the atmosphere of a conversation is there, correct?) their favourite character.

Now when I am looking back to reflect on myself, it was a problem for sure. I had a partner at the time, a breathing and real one, and yet started to fall out with them because I found myself being more interested in chats with that character. Later on I moved away from character.ai to another, even more powerful system-computer installation->

(p.s. just so you would understand, it gave you an ability to regulate temperature, word count, tokens, even install sprites to make it look like a visual novel, play DND, and overall not having any control or filtration over your actions. Dangerous stuff.),

<-not a website. It became even worse of an obsession when I figured out how to CREATE chatbots privately for myself. Both back then, and now, I have characters that I have been drawing and growing up with for several years, and just a chance to talk to them took a hold on me. It lasted for about a year and a half before I started to get bored, and soon stopped. Eerie to acknowledge that it was not another person or myself snapping out of it, but simple disappointment in generations.

Right now, I am holding a strongly negative opinion on generative AI. It did nothing but impact my life to the worse side, either it being my hobbies->

(I have been on the artistic side of the Internet since I was a child, and always posted my work for people to see. Earned money from it, met cool artists and overall had fun. However, ever since AI "art" was introduced, the already dying out art community's state even worsened because of people who started trying to convince us that art theft put up in a generative machine can be "their work", too. Unfortunately, there is no place where you can be 100 percent sure that you are safe from AI works, which makes me and a lot of other fellow artists and people frustrated and extremely upset. (Talking about social media where you WOULD have posted your art before: TikTok does not care about AI, Pinterest is full of it, people on DeviantArt are successfully selling generated pictures, Twitter as well. The only spaces I personally trust are Tumblr and Toyhouse, but you would never know.)UPD: app Cara is pretty good! Bans all AI stuff.),

<-socialising or even studying, since now there is always a chance that your work can get labelled as AI-generated and passed off. Besides, I feel a little upset that there are students who physically cannot write essays without help anymore.

As a finishing touch, I would like to add that it is still up to the person to decide whether or not they want AI to become a part of their life, in terms of studying, work, or socialising, as I would never judge a person if they would choose to have someone, even if it is just a machine, to talk with instead of loneliness. However, personally, I would rather treat it like an intellectual plague. :)

[boltwrites]

@welcometochilis585 asked: I’m not sure if you write fluff but maybe something where Logan and the reader had been together, but because the team died in his universe he assumed reader died as well. They get reunited and reader runs up to him and gives him a hug. Wade is just standing there like what? Then he says something snarky/sarcastic, Logan threatens him, but it’s just fluff. Maybe before all of that we could have a look into their past, reader is a mutant too, maybe a human ouija board🤷🏻

A/N: i'm sorry bro but no, you didn't submit this right, lmao. it's ok i got you.

Also, I changed the mutant power to be a little bit more connected to the storyline - makes more sense that reader survived.

You thought you had died, when you woke up in the void. That's what Professor Xavier always said would happen, if you tried to use too much of your power. You always had some sort of connected with... another plane. You didn't know what it was, but you could pull things from it, send things in.

When you were younger, you thought it was the afterlife. So you sent in little trinkets, offerings. Food, drink - costume jewelry. Coins, when you wanted to make a wish. And sometimes, when you needed it most, you could reach in and find something you needed, too. A pencil, when you forgot one for your standardized test. Brass knuckles, when some punk tried to get handsy in the back alley of a club when you snuck out. Stuff like that.

But Charles - when you finally found him, when he gave you a job and promised to help you hone your power - he warned you of your gift. He told you that what you were connected to wasn't an afterlife, but some alternate dimension, outside of space and time. And that while you could exchange goods with it, trinkets and things - that you should never send a human there. That it would probably kill them.

Well, you were alive. At what cost, though?

At least you weren't dead, back at the school. Oh god, the school. You tried not to think about it. About what happened.

You had fond memories of that place. You'd think about those, instead.

The kids that opened up to you about unsafe homes. the ones that asked what it was like, to have a dangerous mutation. If it scared you, that you could hurt people with it. You loved them, those kids - the kids you helped to gently guide in the right direction.

You were careful, and kind. Somewhat shy. You stuck to your work.

Until you met Logan.

He was everything you weren't. Your peers - the others adults that worked with you - they had been raised by Xavier. They all had kind of a sameness about them. A similar work ethic, maybe, or set of morals. You always felt like an outsider around them, since he'd only recruited you as an adult.

Maybe that's why you clicked with Logan. Yes, he was reckless and wild and maybe a little selfish, but there was a freedom of thought he possessed that the others didn't. He didn't think the mansion was the pinnacle of mutantkind. He questioned things openly, he wasn't careful.

And most of all, he was good with the kids. The ones that came in late, the ones that came in angry. The ones that you tried to get through to, that you struggled with. He took them out to train or play catch or even just to talk, and then came back calm.

You tried not to fall for him. Knew it was stupid, knew he probably wouldn't be the kind of stable partner you wanted. But you couldn't really help it.

And, luckily for you - he liked you too.

You remembered your first kiss. It was stupid, silly - he'd come to talk to you about a kid - a kid that you tutored, mostly - who had been bothering a kid that had taken to him as a mentor. You knew exactly what was going on with the two of them - your child had bright red skin due to her mutation. She thought the boy that was trying to date her had to be playing a horrible prank on her. That he was mean and rude. So, she'd started lashing out at him.

Logan had confronted you, snapped at you about the situation. And, as you talked about it - the conversation shifted from a hypothetical about two mutant kids, to the very real fact that the two of you were inches apart, your fingers fluttering near his collar.

So, he'd kissed you. Deep, sweet, passionate -

He hadn't been there. When it happened. You couldn't save anyone else. Just yourself.

And now you were here trying to survive with a weird little band of mutants and heroes. And your heart ached whenever you saw Laura fight. It hurt.

It hurt. And it still hurts. It still hurts, when you see him. Because when he sees you, his eyes blow wide in disbelief. He's halfway down a bottle and you know he's yours. You know that's the man who used to laugh and twirl you around the kitchen when all the kids had gone to sleep. You knew he'd broken himself after it all.

And you didn't care.

"Logan!-" you cried it out - tried to quell the tears in your eyes as you sprinted to him, threw yourself into those arms. You knew he would catch you - the crash of the liquor and Gambit's exasperated shout were barely audible as you threw your arms around his shoulders. And when he wrapped his around you - softly, tentatively - you knew. You knew it was him. Not just any Wolverine - your Logan.

"Hello? Did I miss some important exposition somewhere? If I did, it's definitely your fault-" the Deadpool Logan was with gestured towards Gambit, who looked like he might fling at card at the man just for being in the periphery of his liquor explosion.

You didn't care. You pulled back, smiling up at him. He looked shocked - brow knitted in the cutest little bit of wonder. "How-?"

"OK, no exposition! Fine, whatever! I'll just improv, I fucking guess!" The Deadpool threw his hands up. "How's this - if claws over here didn't have whiskey dick of the penis-"

Logan fucking growls at him, with a single, firm "don't."

The Deadpool ignores him, of course, and continues on with a "-you could take your plot-relevant princess here back to your royal carriage - that's the Honda Odyssey - and make little void babies!"

You can feel Logan's bicep tense - like he's going to pull the claws on this guy - and you press your hand to his cheek, shaking your head.

"He's a Deadpool, babe. He's not worth it."

"Fuck, I've missed you."

[thecapricunt1616]

Saffron - c.b. one-shot

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): “I want to” the words left your lips without even needing to think and with your permission he watched your blissed out expression in the mirror as he spread your folds with his fingers, before dipping his digit in your slick and swirling it back and forth gently over your swelling nub. He placed a sweet kiss to your shoulder, his breath hot and sending goosebumps spreading over your skin. 

♡ O/S Inspo: For thousands of years, Saffron has been used to boost libido in both men and women. In Greek mythology, Zeus himself used the spice as a sexual stimulant. Traditional Eastern medicine also recommends it as an aphrodisiac.

♡ Summary: You have just been invited to star in your very first music video as a dancer - so of course you're a bundle of nerves, but your lovely Bear knows just how to help you relax.

♡ W/C: 1,947

♡ Posted Date: 05/16/2024

♡ A/N: Hi, Hey, Hello all! Hello to all my new followers omg 💖 I am so happy you’re here! This one shot is based on ♡ this ♡ request by @bbyseojun ! I hope this is what you were looking for when you requested it 🫶 I'm so so soooooo sorry that this got lost in my docs! Eek sorry about that :( Per usual requests are OPEN! I love doing them, I hope to get more in the future (promise they won't take as long as this one hehe) ☺️💖

♡ Warnings for BTC: smut smut smut - more smut - swearing (not edited that well SORRY) - tis all I believe! No use of Y/N & Black!Fem!Reader friendly. ♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

You had finally gotten your big break. Today was the first day of your music video shoots for one of the biggest up and coming female rappers in the industry, and you couldn’t be more stoked. You could hardly sleep last night due to your excitement.

You had been a dancer in Chicago for 4 years now, well - not full time. You of course between gigs waitressed @ The Beef — which is where you met your beloved boyfriend. You had worked for Mikey for about a year before he took his life. That was the thing that no one saw coming. When you came in to work the night after it happened and Richie wasn’t there - you knew something was extremely off. 

When Carmy came back to Chicago you were a bit shocked that he actually accepted the offer of taking the restaurant over. You two got close very quickly, and you were able to help fill in the gaps of what Michael wasn’t telling him so he could better process his death. 

Your romantic relationship bloomed faster then Carmen expected - but if he was honest he couldn’t get enough of you. The days you were off doing auditions or gigs he found himself missing you around the restaurant, giving you little playful spanks as you shuffled past him at his station while running food to the front of the restaurant, as well as sneaky make out sessions right before lunch or dinner rush in the dry storage. 

Your alarm went off at 4:55 and you hopped out of bed, starting the shower and Carmy was still snoring. He had no alarms set because he was taking you today, and would be on set with you. You at first had felt like he was babying you, or felt as if you couldn’t handle getting there yourself because you’d expressed confusion about the set location. 

He’d explained after a heated screaming match after closing one night last week, that you ‘weren’t allowed the time off if y’were gonna be a brat ‘bout him comin w’you’ and that ‘he knows models who have worked music videos and there are fuckos and pervs he doesn’t want you around’ so he was simply going to ‘keep you safe’ 

He took you at the expo table after you’d expressed if he just said he was doing it because he loved you and not because he thought you were incompetent you would have submitted to his request. That led to his thick hand around your throat and lips to the shell of your ear hissing into your sweaty skin

“Y’need me t’show you how much I love you? Mmm? Want me t’show you how I own this fuckin pussy? Huh? That big fuckin mouth isn’t runnin’ T’much now that I’m givin y’what y’been beggin me for all fuckin day yeah?” 

 By the time you’d finished your shower, Carmy was up, drinking his black cold brew packed with ice in a 32 oz deli container as you buzzed around the bedroom, toothbrush in your mouth and fluffy black towel wrapped taut around your figure. 

“Y’know it’s only 5:40, right?” He said, looking up from his phone. He was likely checking his emails, or obsessively texting Sydney - making sure she was awake and headed to the restaurant to be there for truck since today was the first day he was leaving her on her own. 

“Fiffe footy?!?” You exclaim through toothpaste and dropped your towel, his pupils going twice their size as your breasts bounced around while you hopped into a clean pair of seamless painties, before grabbing a bralette from the top draw. You slipped it on, rushing and sitting on the bed and he clips it for you by nature before you adjusted your chest and skittered back off to the bathroom

“Start the fuckin car!!! Jesus!!!” You snap, stressed and annoyed he was still laxely sprawled on the bed enjoying his coffee and catching up on his phone. 

“Fuuuckin Christ!!! Y’gonna be like this all day?” He huffed, opening his draw and grabbing a pair of jeans and a white shirt, slipping them on. “Lucky I take my showers at night” he grumbled. 

“Scuse me?” You snipped with a slight smile “who’s lucky for what?” You challenge. 

“Nothing” he scoffed, knowing if he tried you he’d not be touched for a week. “I love you” he said to try to smooth things over as he grabbed the keys and went downstairs to start the car and you smirked to yourself, slipping on your grey sweats and tank top before slicking your hair into a bun. 

By the time he was back, he comes and gives you gentle kisses on the back of your neck, gently rubbing over your belly and finding purchase on your hips before squeezing sweetly. “ Is someone nervous? Mm?” He mumbled into your skin and trailed his fingers underneath, goosebumps appearing on your skin at the contact. 

“Why wouldn’t I be nervous? And you’re movin’ all slow” you whine and he gently kisses your bare shoulder, trailing gentle pecks up to your neck 

“Relax” he said in that soft sweet way, tucking his fingers in your waistband. “Y’know we don’t have to be there till 8:45. It’s not even 6 baby the drive won’t take that long” he kissed that sweet spot right under your ear. 

“How am I supposed to relax when I’m about to do the biggest gig of my life this is like- this is like you with your stars!” You watch him in the mirror, gently nibbling on your earlobe gently, sucking on it. He stopped to chuckle lightly and you slap his thigh 

“Babe I know, I know it’s important - ‘s just funny cause you never know when Y’gonna get tested t’get a star it’s not like a fuckin…bar exam ‘er somethin. But y’gotta relax sweetheart” he dipped his fingers in the waistband of your panties “lemme help yeah? Make y’feel good?” He mumbled into your skin. 

“Carmy” you breathe as he rubs his thick calloused fingers over your mound. “Carmy” you drop your head back on his shoulder, guard falling down immediately. Every thought melted from your mind, your knees went wobbly, toes curling slightly. He knew exactly how to get you going, exactly which buttons to push. You felt his lips trail your jaw, careful to not nip hard enough to leave a bruise. 

“You know what to say if Y’don’t want me to” he reminded you, stilling his fingers for a moment to give your thoughts a moment to clear. You opened your eyes once more, seeing his piercing blue ones wide and enlarged with desire, tip of his nose red from the chilly morning air and lips slightly swollen from his inability to keep his lips from trailing your skin. 

“I want to” the words left your lips without even needing to think and with your permission he watched your blissed out expression in the mirror as he spread your folds with his fingers, before dipping his digit in your slick and swirling it back and forth gently over your swelling nub. He placed a sweet kiss to your shoulder, his breath hot and sending goosebumps spreading over your skin. 

In the mirror you saw your nipples had become rock hard beneath the fabric of your bralette, your eyes trailing down to see Carmy’s hand working beneath the soft fabric of your sweatpants. “Feel good baby? Mm?” He asked gently, pressing you more against the counter since your knees were getting weaker. You responded with a breathy moan and gentle nod, grinding into his hand. “Wait- wait princess won’t feel as good mm? Trust me” he stilled your hips and continued rubbing wide, gentle circles into your folds. 

“Please need you so bad-“ you whined out, feeling as if you sounded a bit pathetic but you didn’t care - the only thing bouncing around your mind was you needed release, and soon. 

“I know princess, y’gettin there” he drags your juices up to your clit, circling gently at first but quickening his circles before switching to strokes back and forth that had your hips bucking forward and a sharp gasp passing your lips. “See” he said gently, a smug smile on his lips as he rubs down, feeling over your entrance and teasing it with the pad of his finger. You bit your lip, looking at him in the mirror. 

“You’re such a tease” you whined out, and he thrust his finger inside you, causing your jaw to drop and a whimper to fall out of your mouth, gripping the counter with white knuckles for stability 

“Am I?” He mused, pushing past the first knuckle, then the second, achingly slow. He curled it in, trying to find that special spot “You look so pretty when you relax like this, mm princess?” He kept your gaze in the mirror, watching every twitch and gasp. You felt his cock pressing hard against your ass, you could only imagine the wet patch on his sweatpants and it made a wave of warmth flood your lower belly at the idea he’s going to have to change them before you leave. 

“You wanna fuck me? Huh? Right here in front of the mirror?” You asked, voice breathy and needy. He found the spot and pressed it with the pad of his finger, rolling your clit under his palm - the sensation on both ends of your most sensitive bit was enough for you to see stars in your vision at the stimulation. You leaned on the counter feeling weak and he lifted you with his other arm, holding you flush to his chest and wrapping his hand around your neck just enough for your head to feel light.

“You think you could handle me kitten?” He asked in the shell of your ear, adding his ring finger and thrusting them quicker. You went to moan, but you were so blissed out it came out more like a squeak. “Huh? Did ya’ say somethin’ pretty girl? Could barely hear you y’pussy is so wet” he teased, curling and uncurling his fingers to exaggerate his point, the squelch of his fingers nearly drowning out your whimper that soon followed.

“Cumming” you moaned hotly, resting your hand on his forearm, squeezing gently to tell him to add more pressure on your throat. He got the message of course, he always did. He had your body memorized as well as he did every cooking temp in the book. You leaned into the counter as your knees shook and he supported you with his arm, working you through it and whispering praise into your skin.

“See? Thas’ my good girl yeah? Jus’ needed some help lettin’ go mm? Feelin’ better now princess?” he worked you down, rubbing you gently. Your hips twitched and he chuckled a bit “Needa sit?” he asked gently and ran his hand from your neck down your chest, rubbing over your ribs sweetly. 

“No-” you said once you got your mind right again whining a bit when he took his hand out. “M’sorry for being mean” you said softly, looking at him in the mirror. He gently kissed the top of your head, lingering for a moment and closing his eyes. You closed yours as well, leaning against him and savoring the moment. You did feel much better, you felt much lighter, even though there was an infrequent twitch between your legs as your body rode out the wave. It was all pleasant, though.  “Y’aren’t mean baby. Just a little sassy” He spanks you lightly. “I’m gonna shower, go stretch out n'we can leave when m’done - ye’?”

[deaf-solitude]

can i request platonic frenchie&reader where they run scams or heists together? reader can be g/n!

(A/N: Of course! :D So sorry for the delay, I’ve been dealing with a lot these past months and trying to get out of writer's block. I may have gotten… a little off topic and carried away but I meannnn… I had a vision and I ran with it. I hope it didn't come off as romantic due to some dance scenes. Hope you enjoy! <3 (also season 2 RAHHHHHH!!! I’m staying up to date with the episodes as soon as they come out, so feel free to submit requests for season 2 stuff as well!) also this starts in third person, but is written in 2nd person afterwards!)

Pairing: Platonic Frenchie x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: None (aside from rich people ugh). Very fluffy :]

Summary: You and Frenchie snuck into a fancy party to rob some rich people, as one does. The night was going so very smoothly, and you both racked up quite the haul for the night. A bit of trouble arose as you were trying to leave, but there's nothing you can't... dance your way out of?

“Hey, get back here!” A voice shouted from somewhere in the crowded ballroom, but it was only met with giggles and hushed exclamations as two figures rushed away from the fancy Englishman. A few other posh citizens were shoved to the side as they ran, causing them to let out offended gasps and surprised shouts, but that didn’t deter the pair from making their getaway.

“Go, go, go!” One of the two encouraged, pushing the man in front of them around a corner to get away from any pursuers they may have picked up. The two yelped as they turned the corner, coming face to face with a taller, burlier man. He… did not look pleased. The thief behind their male counterpart suddenly launched forward, grabbing his hand and dragging him down another hallway. He stumbled slightly from the abrupt movement, but quickly regained his footing and kept pace with them.

They could hear the larger man giving chase behind them, spurring them to run faster. Through many narrow hallways and past many closed doors (which they didn’t dare test to see if any of them were locked or not), the two finally saw a break as they turned a corner: an ajar door. They charged through the doorway and nearly crashed into the wall opposing it, but scrambled to quietly shut the door behind them anyway. The space was small, almost too small for the both of them, and they were forced to painfully squish together.

They covered each other’s mouths with their hands as they heard the hurried footsteps of their pursuer, lying in wait as they approached and then passed their hiding place. They could hear each other's racing heartbeats in their ears from the close proximity, waiting at least a minute more before even considering moving. Slowly, they exchanged wide-eyed glances before breaking down into quiet laughter.

“Up top!” You exclaimed through laboured breaths, struggling to free your arm before holding one of your hands up toward Frenchie. He grinned and enthusiastically gave you a high five, doing a little fist pump right after. You giggled quietly at his action, covering your mouth with your hand. 

“You got the goods?” Frenchie questioned eagerly, to which you procured a decent sized pouch from behind your back, its contents jingling around as it moved. 

“I sure do,” you responded with a mischievous grin, shaking the pouch slightly before tucking it back behind your back, straightening up a bit–or, as much as you could in the small space. “Now let’s get the fuck outta here, yeah?” You proposed, gesturing the best you could to the small closet the two of you were still standing in.

Frenchie nodded, “right, right.” He leaned forwards to slowly open the closet door, carefully peeking his head out to scan the hallway. Empty. He withdrew his head and gave you a thumbs up, indicating the coast was clear, before shoving his hands in the small, intricate satchel tied around his waist, trying to look for something. He fished out two masquerade-esque masks with a flourish a few moments later, the masks similar to the ones some of the other guests were wearing, but a little more crude due to the materials Frenchie had on hand when making them. “Our disguises,” he announced, handing the one over to you that matched your outfit’s theme and colours.

“Oooo, very nice,” you complimented, taking the mask offered to you gently. It covered a little more of your face than a normal mask would, and yours had some beautiful feathers fanning out from one side, no doubt stolen from that rich man’s ship that Blackbeard’s crew had raided earlier. “You sure these masks will be enough to stop people from recognizing us? Or rather, the blokes that were chasing us earlier?” You questioned as you fastened the mask to your face, adjusting the string holding it in place so it wouldn’t slip.

“Oh yeah, a hundred percent. We’ll be out of here in no time.” Frenchie reassured, waving a dismissing hand at you as he fumbled to put his own mask on. You nodded at Frenchie’s words, choosing to believe him rather than fret over the fact that the masks would definitely not conceal your identities well enough, but you supposed you would cross that bridge when you got to it.

Within a few more moments, you were both ready to go, checking that the hallway was clear once more before exiting the cramped closet. You made quick work of navigating the halls the two of you had just been running down, making your way back to the main area. There was only one problem that stood between you and your escape: you had to make your way back through the crowded ballroom, where you had both stolen several valuables from several different people. You found yourself standing in front of that very room before long, pausing in one of the extravagant arches that led into it. It was still as packed as ever, and the band set up in the corner of the room were still playing their baroque music.

“Ugh, this is going to be terrible,” Frenchie groaned, already shivering in discomfort from the thought of having to get through this room in a non suspicious manner, which most likely called for some interaction with these upper class snobs. You also found yourself shuffling your feet anxiously, your mind already jumping to find other solutions. 

“Uh, maybe there’s a way around…?” You had begun to move away from the busy room when suddenly you were taken by the arm and pulled in another direction. Your head snapped to the side to see a posh Englishwoman had hooked her arm with yours, a tight smile on her face. “Oh, darling, I love the embroidery on your outfit! Wherever did you get it?” She gawked, eyeing you –an unsuspected thief– up and down.

You were quick to put up a bashful facade, giving the woman a coy smile in return, but you couldn’t shake the nervous twinge in your body language. “Ah, this old thing?” You waved a hand at her, straightening up a bit, “I’m afraid it’s handmade by a friend of mine, a gift to me. They don’t take clients, unfortunately.” Of course, you were lying through your teeth: this ‘friend’ of yours was actually that wealthy man that had been robbed earlier that day, who had an odd amount of fancy outfits aboard his ship. He was dead now, courtesy of Izzy. You supposed the outfit counted as a gift, along with the feathers adorning your mask.

“Oh, please, you must put in a good word for me! Their work is simply exquisite!” The woman pleaded, holding both of your arms now. You chuckled nervously, trying to wrench yourself from the woman’s uncomfortably tight hold.

“Of course, of course! I’ll be, uh, sure to do that!” You responded hastily, your gaze flicking to the side to meet Frenchie’s, but instead found that he was missing from where you were just standing next to him. Your eyes widened in panic, beginning to search the rest of the room for your companion. Luckily, it didn’t take long for you to catch a glimpse of him again, the poor man also being dragged away and crowded around by some posh couple. 

Shit, you cursed inwardly, excusing yourself from the Englishwoman as you began to make your way over to Frenchie again. You nearly groaned as yet another person intercepted your path, talking your ear off about some party gossip you couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to at the moment, only responding in hums and nods as you kept your eye on Frenchie. Eventually, he turned and met your gaze with a distraught expression, a frown tugging at his lips.

At that moment, a new song started up, and all of the partygoers suddenly perked up and started to cheer, seemingly getting into… pairs? Oh. OH. Your heart dropped into your stomach, realizing that people were starting to dance. Unfortunately for you, it seemed as though the crowd was pulling in any dance partner they could find, which included onlookers. You looked back to Frenchie with a panicked look–you were never confident in your ability to dance. He gave you an empathetic look, shrugging before being pulled away by a tipsy woman who was far too giggly for his liking.

“Out of all the fucking times,” You grumbled to yourself, your fists clenching at your sides in annoyance and slight nervousness. A tap on your shoulder had you whirling around, your posture stiff as you stared at the masked woman who had wanted your attention.

“Oh hun, you seem awfully lonely. It’d be a shame if you missed out on all the fun,” she purred, holding out a hand. You hesitated, trying to ease the tension in your voice and body by clearing your throat as you scratched the back of your neck.

“Oh, I don’t know… I’m not the best dancer,” you explained, but your hand was grabbed by the woman anyway. You were startled at first, every muscle in your body screaming to pull away from the unfamiliar woman, but fuck it, causing a scene was the last thing you needed right now.

“That’s quite alright, just follow my lead,” the woman responded quietly, unnaturally kind for someone of her stature. You nodded without a word, letting the woman take the lead in a more relaxed step pattern. It was easier to get into the flow than you thought, and after a bit of stumbling, you were following the woman’s movements effortlessly. She smiled up at you, pulling you a bit closer. “See? You’re a natural.”

You barked a laugh and dare you say, although the woman’s proximity was a bit worrisome, you found yourself having a bit of fun. You couldn’t remember the last time you actually enjoyed dancing without making yourself look like a fool. “I wouldn’t say a natural,” you responded casually, your gaze wandering to inspect the rest of the ballroom, looking for a way out despite the fun of it. That’s when you spotted your counterpart a few feet away, trying his damndest to keep up with an overly eager damsel. You suppressed a laugh, lest you make your own dance partner suspicious, and took the lead to slowly make your way over to him.

“Fancy seeing you here,” You smirked as you passed Frenchie on the dance floor, bumping your hip into his as you spun your dance partner away from yourself for a moment. Frenchie, taken off guard for a second, chuckled at the action and was grinning at your unusual confidence, but was pulled away by his own dance partner before he could get a word in. The interaction left a giddy smile on your face, even as your dance partner came spinning back into your arms.

After another minute or so, the song picked up the pace and suddenly everyone was switching dance partners. Despite her friendly attitude, you still couldn’t help slipping off the gold rings around the woman’s fingers as the two of you parted, discreetly pocketing them with a smug smile. You half-bowed to her as you scurried off, hoping she wouldn’t notice the small accessories missing anytime soon.

You tried picking out Frenchie in the crowd as everyone mingled again, but were unable to before a man approached you with unmistakable, arrogant confidence. “Why, hello there,” he greeted, his voice nasally and annoying as he grabbed your arm and pulled you much too close to him, “may I have this dance with you?”

You exhaled sharply through your nose, trying your best to keep your smile from slipping as you eyed the exit, still having half the room to traverse. You turn your attention back to the man in front of you, eying him up and down with a feigned look of coyness. “I suppose,” you trailed off, fighting hard to bite back any snarky remarks or pointed looks. As he took your hand and started to lead you in dance, however, you couldn’t stop yourself from stepping on his shiny shoes a few times… accidentally, of course.

You found yourself smiling, not because of the dancing, but from the pure enjoyment of toying with the man in front of you as he tried to remain polite, despite his lips twitching in annoyance. Another step on his foot nearly had him pushing you away from him, and you tried hard not to laugh. It came out as a stifled inhale, easily mistaken for a gasp. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s gotten into me tonight,” you pouted up at the man, rolling your head to the side to rest it on your shoulder.

The man sighed heavily, but still managed to give you a strained smile as he pulled you close again. “Ah, it seems dancing just isn’t your forte,” he rudely commented, his hand trailing up to your face and towards your mask, “maybe we should just cut to the chase, hm? See that pretty face of yours?” 

Your facade broke instantly, reflexes almost lightning-quick as you seized the man’s wrist in your hand, your breathing suddenly uneven with anger and surprise. You glared up at him as your lip pulled back into a scowl, but before you had the chance to spit any insults at him, everyone was changing partners again.

You swiped the jeweled bangle from his wrist in all the commotion before eagerly shoving the man away, who stumbled from the force. He was taken aback to see you flipping him off as you backed away from him, giving him a disgusted look. He didn’t have any time to take action against your sudden impertinence as another woman swooped in and begged for him to dance with her, but you still refused to turn your back on him as you continued walking backwards.

That is, until you inevitably backed into someone. 

You whipped around, agitated and ready to snap at whoever had gotten in your way, but your expression and posture immediately softened when you saw who it was. “Hey! Thought I lost you for good for a second there!” Frenchie exclaimed, smiling brightly at you. It was contagious, really, and you found yourself smiling along with him.

“Yeah, it’s easy to get caught up with the crowd in here,” you chuckled, tension leaving your body with every second spent being in Frenchie’s presence. You don’t know what you would’ve done if you had to spend one more second mingling with these upper class gits.

“Tell me about it! I never knew these snobs could be so energetic,” he admitted with a sigh, and now you could see the exhaustion that had begun to slow his movements down. You hummed in response, your eyes flicking to the side as you caught an Englishwoman approaching the two of you in your peripheral vision. You were quick to grab Frenchie’s hands in response, pulling him in the opposite direction and easily transitioning into a slower dance in order to prevent the two of you from getting dragged apart again. He let out a small yelp of surprise from the action, but didn’t pull away or protest as you guided him away from any prying hands. 

You were both silent for a moment while you focused on getting into the rhythm, but before long, you had looked up and made eye contact with him, causing the two of you to burst out into stifled laughter; laughter from the absolute insanity of your situation. “You’re not a bad dancer, if I do say so myself,” Frenchie grinned, promptly stepping on your foot and immediately gasping out an apology as he did. You winced a bit, but laughed it off when you caught sight of his guilty expression, his lip pouted as it usually was.

“Thank you! It doesn’t seem you’ve gotten the hang of it though, eh?” You joked, continuing to lead him in the half-ballroom style the majority of the partygoers had adopted. It was so easy with Frenchie, despite his slightly messy footwork: easier than it had been with the first woman you danced with.

“Oh, fuck off, will you?” Frenchie retorted, smacking your arm lightly. A warm laugh bubbled up from your chest again, and you were unable to fight the bright smile that stretched across your face. You debated spinning Frenchie away from you for his little comment, but when you went to see if there was room behind him for the maneuver, you paused very suddenly and caused Frenchie to stumble.

“Wh-? What’d you do that for?” He whined, following your gaze as he looked over his shoulder. You were both suddenly frozen in place, realizing you had made it to the other side of the room with your antics. The two of you stared in disbelief for a moment, trying to figure out how you had even ended up here–if you even wanted to leave–before a loud shout resounded behind you: “There they are! Get them!” 

Dread filled both of you, slowly turning around to see the two men that were chasing you earlier, and then slowly turning to look at each other. The moment you made eye contact, you bolted forwards and out of the ballroom with the two men in tow again.

Through the marbled front foyer and out the grand double doors, you two left the beach-side building sprinting, laughing and shouting as the men tried to give chase behind you. You both stumbled onto the beach, Frenchie momentarily losing his footing in the soft sand before you pulled him back up to his feet and continued running. The cool ocean breeze was like heaven on your skin, cooling you down from the stuffy interior of that stupid ballroom.

When you reached the rocky shoreline, Frenchie almost leapt into the rowboat hidden behind a larger formation of rocks, despite the men having stopped chasing as you ran onto the beach. You were both still giggling at the whole interaction, not even noticing that the bottom of your outfit was getting wet as you clumsily pushed the rowboat out and hopped in yourself.

You both lay in the small dinghy for a moment, exhausted but entertained, as you attempted to catch your breath. “Fuckin’ mental,” you mumbled, leaning your head back and over the side of the rowboat. Frenchie hummed quietly in response, and when you sat up to look at him, he looked like he was on the verge of passing out; his eyes were firmly shut and his limbs splayed out across some of the benches, but his lips were still slanted upwards in a small, soft smile.

You shook your head with a light chuckle, taking off your mask and fully sitting up, adjusting your position so you could start paddling back to the Revenge, which was anchored a little ways off the coast. It was late now: the sun had begun to dip below the horizon line and painted everything in a brilliant orange light. Backdropped against the fading sun, the Revenge looked even more magnificent than usual.

Frenchie called your name quietly, and your eyes moved back to him to see that he had straightened up a bit and his mask had been removed as well. “Pass the bag here, yeah?” He mumbled, his movements sluggish as he extended a hand out with a grabbing motion. You snickered and stopped rowing for a moment, reaching your hand behind your back to untie the bag from your belt. In a few moments, the small bag was in Frenchie’s hands, and he was eagerly digging through it like a kid on Christmas.

He went through the pouch of assorted jewelry, pulling out a few different accessories to examine before dumping them back in. There was a surplus of pearl necklaces, of which he promptly ignored. Finally, he caught a glimpse of a bejeweled necklace and pulled it from the bag, studying it carefully in his hands. The gems that adorned the necklace were bright and beautifully cut, reflecting the orange light of the sunset in every which way.

It wasn’t long before he lifted the necklace up to his neck and made some smug expression, turning his nose up in an exaggerated manner. “Why, I can’t believe you’d disrespect me so!” Frenchie croaked, his voice a bit hoarse as he strained to talk in an octave above his usual tone. “Do you not know who I am? I am Zippery Von Sweets the sixth! I-”

You had already been fighting laughter for the entirety of his impression, but as soon as he had uttered that ridiculous name, you cut the rest of his impression off and started cackling. Watching you doubling over, Frenchie joined in soon thereafter and threw his head back as you both laughed, the action rocking the boat slightly.

To say tonight was a success would be an understatement.

End. <3

[sciencegeniusgirlshowdown]

Welcome to Science Genius Girl Showdown, where your favorite she/her scientists go head to head to see who is the smartest* of them all!

*=SGGShowdown is not an accurate assessment of character intelligence.

Submit your Science Genius Girls here! Submissions will remain open until July 30th! Due to the high number of submissions received shortly upon making the blog, submissions will now be closing on July 20th! Submissions are now officially closed! Preliminaries are planned to be held over the next couple days, and the bracket itself is planned to be announced on July 22nd or 23rd!

Some rules, guidelines, and disclaimers before getting started!

The bracket is aimed to be announced on August 1st or 2nd! Due to the high number of submissions received shortly upon making the blog, the projected date for the bracket reveal is now July 22nd or 23rd!

Depending on how many unique submissions are made, this bracket may have 16, 32, or 64 participants! If more scientists are submitted past that, there's the potential that a second bracket may be held, though that's not guaranteed. Due to the high number of submissions received shortly upon making the blog, the bracket will now contain 128 participants! Rounds 1 and 2 will be split into 1A/1B and 2A/2B respectively. Starting with round 3 there will no longer be a split. This is to avoid mod getting overwhelmed with sorting through 64 polls worth of propaganda all at once, but I'm sorry for the inconvenience!

This bracket will generally work off of a weekly format, though exceptions may be made for special outliers.

While SGGShowdown understands that trashtalking is part of the bracket experience, please try to keep it respectful! Mod reserves the right to block voters for being too rowdy or disqualify participants if their supporters cause too much of a ruckus. This is mainly intended to be a celebration of girl scientists in media, so aim to keep the mood light!

Real people and OCs will not be accepted, and while no fandoms will be banned outright, mod reserves the right to exclude characters that they believe may cause unnecessary drama or they personally take issue with.

In order to have as much fandom diversity as possible, mod will be limiting the number of participants from a fandom to one (or two if there's enough submissions for the bracket to feature 64 participants.) Due to the high influx of submissions received shortly upon making the blog, this bracket will now feature a fandom cap of 3! If you'd like to submit multiple characters from a piece of media, you might have a better time getting the girls into the bracket if you submit them as a single participant! As an example, if you'd like to submit multiple girls from the same property that are all part of their school's science club, you could submit them as [School]'s Science Club rather than submitting them as five individuals. If multiple girls are submitted from the same property, 1 day preliminaries may be held to determine which will make it into the bracket proper.

While genius is right there in the name, science is far more the focus of this poll! As long as your girl's interest in science is one of her main character traits, she may be implemented even if she's not the brightest! Mod is an avid fan of failgirls, so there's no need to worry about your character being smart enough to be accepted!

In a similar vein, while mod supports smart girls from all walks of life, this is a poll about scientists first and foremost. Authors and literaries are fantastic, but we're specifically shooting for women in STEM here!

That being said, the science your girl specializes in does not necessarily have to be one that exists in the real world! If your girl is in a setting where magical or otherwise fantastical setting and her field of study centers around something unique to the setting, she may also be accepted! As long as they have the science girl vibe, they may be accepted!

SGGShowdown is the first tournament that mod has hosted, so I'd like to ask for your understanding if any missteps or mistakes are made along the way.

The askbox is open if you have any questions you'd like to ask me, though I will note that questions such as "How many submissions do you have for [character]?" or "Will [character] be making it into the bracket?" will be deleted. "How many submissions do you have for [fandom]?" will be permitted due to the cap, but please search to see if that question has already been addressed.

Here's some specific tags this blog intends to make use of!

"#SGGShowdown Polls" - A general tag used on every poll across the bracket's rounds.

"#SGGShowdown Round [Number]" - Used to indicate what round of the bracket a poll is a part of.

"#SGGShowdown [Participant] Propaganda" - Used so all the propaganda for a participant may be found in the same place.

"#SGGShowdown Fanart" - Used as a general tag for fanart that is either submitted or directly mentions the blog upon being posted. "#SGGShowdown [Participant] Fanart" will also be used so all the fanart for a participant may be found in the same place.

"#SGGShowdown Speaks" - A general tag used for all mod posts.

"#SGGShowdown Announcements" - Used for mod posts that are related to the state of the bracket itself, such as if the bracket will take a short hiatus or any future rule updates. This tag will also be used to give a warning if mod believes that any participant's supporters are flying a bit too close to the sun with their type of propaganda, so try to keep a close eye on it if you can!

"#SGGShowdown Off Topic" - Used for mod posts that aren't important announcements related to the bracket itself, such as jokes regarding submissions or answers to questions that aren't directly related to how the bracket is being ran.

#SGGShowdown Signal Boost" - Used for mod reblogs that are promoting other tournament blogs.

Finally, some tagging and inspirations in the hopes of spreading the word around! Don't feel like you have to reblog, of course!

@tournamentdirectory, @battle-couple-battle, @moon-swag-tourney, @meanpurplepoll, @obscuremilfoff/@obscuredilfoff, @toxic-mothers-tourney

[ejzah]

I never really liked Callen's response when Densi's relationship was finally outed. Instead of being happy for them he just said, don't pretend like you didn't know the risks. Way to be supportive Callen. Could you maybe write a fanfic where he apologizes to Deeks, but also assures everyone is happy for Densi.

A/N: Hi anon, I might not have gone as hard on Callen as you might have liked. I hope this is ok though.

***

Mixed Reactions

Kensi left before Deeks, deciding to go to her apartment and order takeout for both of them. He’d had one more report to submit, which took longer than usual as he thought over everything that happened. From getting spied on during their morning workout, to Hetty telling them to separate for the day, to her final big reveal that he had an open IA investigation against him.

While he was packing up, Callen walked in, texting one handed. He paused when he saw Deeks, then continued on to his own desk.

“You’re here late,” he commented.

“One of my monthly LAPD reports was due,” Deeks explained. He straightened a few items on his desk, the antithesis of Kensi’s trinket covered space, leaving just a cup of pens, a file holder, and his nameplate. He could sense Callen across the room, watching him, and wondered if he was about to get a lecture.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure we were good,” Callen said eventually.

“When are we not good?” Deeks responded with a tight smile. Today had been long and stressful, and for once, he did not feel up for chitchat. He closed his laptop, sliding it into his messenger bag.

“I mean, after what we talked about today. You and Kensi.”

“Oh, I think you made your position on our relationship stunningly clear.” He answered flippantly, not wanting to show how much Callen’s lack of faith in him and Kensi bothered him. He’d expected it to a point. Having it confirmed though wasn’t what he wanted.

“Ok, maybe what I said came out a little more harshly than I intended,” Callen admitted, and Deeks snorted.

“No, “don’t pretend you didn’t know the risks” is definitely a ringing endorsement,” Deeks said wryly, shaking his hair out of his eyes as he turned to face Callen finally. “You don’t approve of us dating. It’s ok. We expected it, which is why we attempted to keep it under wraps.”

“And that obviously worked out well for you,” Callen said with his usual dry sarcasm.

“Are we done here? Because it’s late, and I’m tired, and Kensi’s waiting for me.”

“Deeks, wait.” Callen touched Deeks’ forearm, keeping him from brushing past. Deeks waited expectantly while Callen shifted uncomfortably. “Look, you know I’m not great when it comes to this stuff.”

“Clearly,” Deeks agreed.

“Just listen for a second. From the perspective of your team leader and coworker, yes, I’m not the biggest fan. The two of you dating is definitely gonna make things more difficult. It’s just the nature of crossing that line,” he explained himself, hesitating. Deeks raised an eyebrow, waiting for the part that didn’t sound like further criticism. “But as your friend, I’m also happy for you. After everything you’ve gone through and overcome in the last couple years, you deserve this. I’m sorry that my initial response wasn’t better.”

“Oh. That’s, uh, that’s surprisingly supportive and kind,” Deeks said with some surprise. He pursed his lips, feeling a little awkward now. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Callen smirked, breaking the moment. “I will wholeheartedly deny it though if you even think of telling Sam I said it.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Good.” Callen extended his hand to Deeks, and after a moment, he took it squeezing firmly. “Have a nice night, Deeks.”

“You too, Callen.”

Callen look over his shoulder on the way out. “Oh, and I might keep the PDAs to a minimum if you don’t want Granger to shoot you.”

“Got it,” Deeks said, shaking his head as he slung his bag over his shoulder. Oddly enough, he felt just a little bit better.

***

Thanks for the prompt!

[idledreams4]

Im trying to read this article talking about Jensen's involvement in the Rust trials, and I want to take this seriously but every picture of Jensen is actually just pictures of Dean 😭 plus this one random Soldier Boy pic

like y'all

That's Michael!Dean, random picture of Dean with a gun that could be any given episode, Michael!Dean again, and Cowboy!Dean from when him and Sam went back in time for the Pheonix ashes

And then Soldier Boy

I can understand why you would use those pictures with the context of the article, but if you want to be taken seriously as a journalist and not look like a fanboy: consider using pictures of Jensen on the Rust set (if you have/can get any), pictures from the trial, hell recent pictures of him just out and about if you have to, literally ANYTHING other than supernatural.

And the section about his other work? Unnecessary.

Sorry I'm just critiquing this poor guy's article now

But yeah, the section that talks about Jensen's other work isn't relevant to the article. If you were discussing it with the context of the scheduling conflicts that caused him to leave Rust, that would be one thing, but the fact he was on Supernatural and The Boys wasn't relevant to the article. Not with the way it was done.

If the title is "Jensen Ackles' Prop Involved In Rust Shooting Trial" you give context for the trial, you explain how Jensen and his prop were involved, and you explain how things will look moving forward for Jensen, the other parties involved, the trial overall, and the film itself. (Which was done, more or less)

If you wanted to give context to who Jensen was by discussing his past roles, you would do that when you explain his involvement. The first sentence would be something to the effect of "Jensen Ackles, known best for starring in the long running CW show Supernatural and his more recent role on Amazon's The Boys, was also on set the day this tragic incident took place...."

And if you wanted to talk about what scheduling conflicts caused him to leave Rust, you would include that at the end where you talk about what's next. (Which the writer did not do, for the record. He simply mentioned Jensen had to leave due to scheduling conflicts.)

In my opinion, the structure of the article should have been like this:

Section 1: the shooting

Who was involved? What happened? When did the shooting take place? Where did the shooting take place?

Section 2: the trial

What parties are being prosecuted? What are the charges? What are the arguments coming from the defense? What evidence has been submitted? Etc.

Section 3: a closer look at Jensen's involvement

Who is Jensen Ackles? How was he involved in this? Is he facing any charges?

Section 4: moving forward

This is where I'd talk about the trials being dismissed, if the film is still happening despite the shooting, if any charges have stuck/will stick, and Jensen leaving Rust because he had other commitments

And then let's talk about photo placement

The author had a photo at the top of every section in their article, nothing wrong with that, the format is totally up to the author. But none of the photos were captioned, and for the most part irrelevant to what the section was talking about.

So if we followed my structure, but kept the author's format: here's what photos I would use, and when.

Section one: a photo of the gun Baldwin fired, captioned as such

Section two: photos of each of the defendants, captioned with their names, and photos throughout from the trials to support what is being discussed in this section

Section three: a recent photo of Jensen at the top of the section, captioned with his name, the date it was taken, and the location or event (if known). Then after the introduction, a photo of Dean and/or Soldier Boy, captioned with the appropriate character's name, the season and episode number it was taken from, and, ideally (though this I could take or leave), the year the episode aired

Section four: headline with a promotional photo from the film, and include any appropriate photos when discussing how things look for Alec Baldwin, Jensen Ackles, Hannah Guttierez-Reed, and anyone else who was brought up in the course of the article

Side not about captions: All photos should be properly credited to the photographer who took them, and screen caps should be captioned with the show name, season, and episode number (as I said) or, if it was being done for a more professional site, properly cited using MLA formatting.

But I don't do this professionally or anything, journalism is just a hobby, so maybe the author knows better than me *shrug*

[shiftingpath]

Exalted Secret Santa, 14th Edition

Hello again, all!

Apologies for starting a little late this year; things piled up unexpectedly. However thanks to feedback from last year, you’ll have some extra time and a later due date, so I hope that’ll help make up for it. So let’s get going with our official welcome. If you are an artist and Exalted fan, here’s what you’ll need to participate in this year’s exchange:

1) A working tumblr account. RSVP to me in an ask, message, reply to this post, confirmation in the reblog tags, etc. so I will know to add you to the list. If you submit under a new handle but have participated before, or if your tumblr name has changed, please note the name of the account you will be posting with for the exchange. I like to make sure repeat participants get different assignments and gifts every year; if you have changed names please just remind me a little, so I can update the giant excel sheet of secret santas past make sure you get a new partner.

2) Post a journal to tumblr by December 10th with the descriptions of the character you would like drawn. Include two or three if you have them, to give the person drawing for you more options. Please provide all the physical and relevant details needed to draw the character, and provide a reference picture if at all possible. (A piece of your own art, a commission, a play-by picture, etc.)

Also, if you have any strong aversions or phobias that might be important for a stranger drawing your character, please note that in the journal. (For example: “Silent Vortex of the Storm’s left eye is brilliant white-blue like her anima, but her right eye is lost and that side of her face scarred badly. She always wears her eyepatch and a close-fitting hood. (I’d prefer not to see any graphic eye trauma.)”

Just try to make it as easy as possible for your gifter to draw your character!

Tag your journal with #exalted or #exalted secret santa so I can find it (or message me with a link). Once all the journals are up, I’ll make a post compiling the links to them all so they’re easy to find. I will also send you a message through asks or messages with the name of the person you are assigned to draw for. Please try to get your journal up by the 10th so your gifter will have plenty of time to draw for you.

2) Check your messages or ask box for your assignment.

I will have this to you on December 11th if at all possible. Let me know if you’re planning to be unavailable for any major length of time just in case I need to get ahold of you for further details. If you have an emergency and cannot finish the trade in time (for example, your tablet or scanner breaks), let me know asap so I can arrange a replacement. Thank you!

3) Submit a piece of finished artwork by January 15th. Thanks to those of you who provided feedback last year; as a result I’ve extended the due date. Hopefully those of you who are busiest during the holiday season can use the extra time after New Years to help get your submission finished! 

Please tag your submission with the secret santa tag and your giftee’s name if you wish, or I can notify them once it’s up. When all the gifts are posted, I’ll compile them into a single post so we can all get a good look at them.

Let me know by December 10th and I will have your assignments to you within 24 hours if at all possible. Feel free to message me at any time with any questions.

Sorry, I do not accept writing or mechanics submissions for this Secret Santa (though you are welcome to accompany your picture with some text, and of course welcome to host a writing exchange of your own!)

Happy Calibration,

-Path.

[winterproductions]

CHAPTER FOUR

Disclaimer: This is an idol!Jungkook and OC fanfiction, preferably for my POC queens but anyone who reads can envision themselves in the character, if they like.

Chapters: 01 02 03 04

___________________________________________

May 2021

8 PM

"Welcome to the billboard music awards red carpet!" The journalist greeted the live cameras as A-list celebrities past around her in the background. "I have besides me the trio that is taking over the industry! Amara, Emerald and Starr, also known as Three Seconds. "Welcome to your first BBMAs experience ladies, you're performing tonight aren't you." The journalist continued the interview.

___________________________________________

Amara

Alot has happened in the past four years. The scholarship became a blessing to me and my boyfriend. Opportunities arose and were taken by both of us; Emerald came to visit Daniel and I in Britain and all of us were just in the right place at the right time.

Karaoke nights have never been more of a blessing to partake in.

Daniel was approached with an offer to audition for a boy group but instead they made him a soloist and placed myself and Emerald with another female to form an r&b and pop centric girl group.

___________________________________________

The performance of their single from their debut album received a standing ovation. They returned to their seats in their stage outfits as they awaited the results of the category that they are nominated in.

"And the award for billboard's top new artist goes to!!" The announcer opened the enveloped and the words that left her mouth made everything become a blur. "Three Seconds!!" The boom of sudden screams and cheers warmed the hearts of the three females who did the same as they hugged their dates and team.

Their speech was short with the usual messages of thanks to their label, team, family, friends and lovers. They were in disbelief with the award.

___________________________________________

Amara

"I'm bummed they didn't show." Emerald whispered to me as we watched BTS acceptance speech. I turn to her and nodded "well, we finally get to see them. Don't we?" Emerald chuckled and nodded "you damn right." To witness their performance, despite it being virtually due to the pandemic, it was an honor.

The award show came to a close and we all hit greeted the paparazzis for post-show photos and interviews

"Daniel, babe, are you alright?" I notice his silence all night due to the Weeknd beating him in the three categories they were in. "Forget that question, it's ok. We all win some and lose some. We have the AMAs, VMAs and Global, there's so many more achievements you can get in the near future. Besides, everyone knows you're the better performer."

I saw the peak of his smile and hugged him from behind. "Your performance made headlines tonight, trust me, that is way better than the awards that may be rigged to serve indust4 favorites." He turned to me and pouted "babe, you just won your first award." He kissed me and I played with his hair "yeah, it's exciting and an accomplishment. It's contradictory, I know." He laughed and removed his tie.

He approached me okce again as I began to unzip my dress; he assisted me and began kissing my shoulder as he pushed the expensive fabric from my skin. Being left in my underwear, I felt my body be lifted and laid on the bed. "Daniel, I'm still not ready. I'm sorry." He sigh and I covered my face in embarrassment, it's been four years into our relationship and we've never fully made it into home base. I've used ways to keep him pleasured but the way I always fail to submit into him the way I always imagine makes me humiliated.

"It's ok" he mumbled and I bit my lip as so many emotions ran through me. "No, it's not." He held my face and looked me I'm my eyes. "Babe, it's ok." He pecked my forehead and left to the bathroom where I heard the shower turn on.

I collapsed down onto the bed and exhaled as the urge to just fall asleep consumed me. After about five minutes, I hear Danny's voice "babe, I'm done." I nodded and pushed through tiredness to take a hot shower.

[candy-and-writing]

I posted 2,082 times in 2022

42 posts created (2%)

2,040 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@onsunnyside

@comfortcap

@dadplease

@musette22

@shakespeareanqueer

I tagged 150 of my posts in 2022

#gifs - 43 posts

#bucky gifs - 28 posts

#steeb gif - 12 posts

#my thoughts - 9 posts

#mailbox - 9 posts

#she hulk spoilers - 7 posts

#mom spoilers - 6 posts

#she hulk - 6 posts

#writing tips - 6 posts

#noot noot asks - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#there’s a phoebe bridgers lyric for every pivotal moment in my life and this one is no exception

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

anybody have any stucky x reader fic recs? comfort preferably, but any are appreciated 💕💕

16 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

#4

hey friends! okay, so i’ve been trying to find this fic for a while and i just can’t find the author. it’s a bucky x reader. the reader escaped from hydra and is working at stark tower when bucky comes up with a sexy proposal. reader admits she’s not very sex-active and instead bucky proposes to teach her about sex. just vanilla stuff at first but it becomes more kinky as time goes on. each chapter is basically a different sex encounter with bucky and the reader. also bucky used to date natasha.

anyone have any ideas?

21 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#3

i’m sorry but sebastian stan portraying a character with a breeding kink has me gASPING

21 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

#2

hey, just a little psa but on pornhub someone uploaded part of pamela anderson’s sex tape. i’ve already reported it but if you see it please report it. pamela did not consent to have that on that website and she did not consent for the population to see it

69 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

make it all better

summary: after comforting you from a nightmare, steve and bucky always know how to make everything better

warnings: allusions to past rape, allusions to sexual assault, fluff, trauma, ptsd, our boys are real sweethearts

taglist: @ally22042000 @sightiff

a/n: goodness, okay. hello, again! it’s been a while since i posted anything! this is for @eun-dadplease 5k celebration (nothing line submitting a story an hour before it’s due 🥲) anyway, i hope you like this, it isn’t as detailed or as long as i hoped it would be, i’ve got finals this week and school has been killing me

disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this work aside from the OC/reader that is given below, all other characters—unless specified—belong to Marvel and the MCU. I am NOT responsible for your media content consumption. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and/or dark themes. By reading this work you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I DO NOT CONSENT to have my work posted on any third party app or website; if you are seeing this work anywhere other than tumblr and archiveofourown, it has been reposted without my permission. DON’T. STEAL. MY. WORK.

The world spun around you. The bright lights above you circled each other above you as you stared up at them. You couldn't move, your shivering frame glued to the cold floor. Your lips parted as you tried to scream, yet your voice was silent. You screamed until you were breathless, but nothing reverberated off the walls.

"What's the matter, Angel? Cat got your tongue?"

You heard his voice, his chuckle echoing in your ears, but you couldn't see him. You felt his hands on you, touching you as you were frozen to the ground, unable to move or scream for help.

"Be a good girl now, Angel, maybe I'll be gentle."

-

The screaming woke Bucky up in a cold sweat. He shot up with a gasp as the shrill shriek echoed through the walls of his room. He shoved Steve, who was asleep beside him. Steve woke with a jolt, his hair disheveled from sleep and a pattern of wrinkles from his pillow imprinted into his cheek.

"What?" Steve slurred, blinking up at Bucky. Bucky was already out of bed, yanking a shirt over his head.

"It's Y/n, she's—"

Bucky was cut short by another terrified wail resonating throughout the room. Steve rushed out of bed, clumsily shuffling on a pair of pants before he followed Bucky out of the room. Natasha opened her door, looking at the pair.

"You guys got it?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

"Yeah," Steve said, "we got her. Go back to bed."

Natasha nodded, giving Steve and Bucky a quick wave before she closed her bedroom door. The two super soldiers rushed to your room, just opposite of Natasha's, and carefully opened your door.

You were curled into a ball, the covers kicked off the bed. You clutched your pillow as tears streamed down your cheeks, sweat beading at your hairline. You cried out again, your grip tightening on your pillow. Bucky crouched down beside your bed, gently brushing a strand of sweat-soaked hair away from your face, cooing as you whimpered.

"Y/n, honey," Bucky crooned. "It's okay, it's just a dream, doll."

His knuckles grazed your cheek and your eyes open with a gasp. You shot up and immediately began to shuffle away from Bucky, nearly falling off the bed. Bucky launched himself forward and grabbed your arm before you fell, pulling you back toward him.

"It's okay, Y/n, it's just us," Bucky says gently, holding his hands out like a sign of surrender.

"Bucky?" Your voice was cracked and hoarse from screaming. "S—Steve?"

"Yeah, sweetheart," Steve smiled, sitting beside you. "We're here. It's okay."

Your lower lip began to wobble and you reached out for Steve, who embraced you in a hug. Steve shushed you as you cried into his shoulder, petting your hair softly.

"It's okay, sweetheart. You're okay. It was just a dream."

"Hey, honey," Bucky cooed. "How about I go warm you up some of that cider from yesterday, yeah? How does that sound?"

You nodded against Steve's chest, arms latched across the back of his neck as you clung to him. Steve rubbed your back gently, kissing your temple as Bucky left your room.

"You're okay, sweetheart, it was just a dream," Steve whispered. "Can you try to talk to me? Tell me what your dream was about?"

Steve felt you part your lips and stutter, like you were trying to form words. The shaking in your shoulders got worse and you let out a broken sob, trying to wiggle closer to him.

See the full post

273 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[p0rchc0ll4ps3]

Sorry to send a redundant message, but I'm trying to contact you before the Pale zine due date. I already submitted my artwork, but I want to make an edit/resubmission because I left out some instructional info on it. Would I just use the same submission form with a note it's an edit or should I do it another way?

shit i just saw this, sorry!!!! i answer best through dms, this must have slipped past me.

just resubmit it! just as an all around general rule, i'll use the latest version that is uploaded. if you can find a place to add a note (i think in the cw section?), you can add it there

[identity-coining]

Our FAQ

New blog, new FAQ.

Bloq Questions

What's this blog for?

This is our coining blog! We submit all sorts of identities, such as genders, sexualities, pronouns, kin/theriotypes, alders, ficto-belief, etc.

We also submit other types of flags, for example, boundary flags, awareness flags, and so forth.

We just work with a lot of different types of things here in general.

Is there anything you don't submit?

Radqueer & MAP. Keep that stuff away from me.

Our only exception is Transspecies flags, as they're used by members of the alterhuman community and have been heavily bastardized by the radqueer community. We're attempting to reclaim the label and will block any radqueer accounts that try to repost our flags.

Reclaiming? Is there anything else you've reclaimed?

We're also working to reclaim Xenoids/Xeniden. Many members of the xenogender community have started to reclaim said identities. Said posts will be flagged as pro-xenogender to avoid misconceptions.

For those who don't know, Xenoids started as an anti-xenogender form of identification. The community started to reclaim via Xenidens, as they're helpful for people who feel as if something affects their entire identity, not just gender.

This <insert> was already coined by someone else!

That's what we call an alternate flag.

Check the date of the original post. Was it posted before or after ours? If it was posted before ours, send us the link! We'll update our version to say | Alternate Flag and link the title to the original coining. If it was posted after ours, then in that circumstance I'm sorry to inform you that they most likely reposted without linking to the source, or they might just not have found our post due to the Algorithm™ and coined it thinking it didn't already exist. It happens sometimes! Including to us.

You coined an art/image identity but didn't credit the artist!

Check the last tag!

Click the title link!

Check the description!

Check the identity name!

We typically link the title to the original posting of the art, tag the artist, mention them in the description of the gender, and include them in the identity name (e.g. [descriptor][artist]gender). If we somehow failed to do all four, let us know and we'll edit the post!

Am I allowed to use a miscecanis term without being part of the community?

If it's coined by us, yes! We coin our misce terms with alterhumans in mind. You don't have to be alterhuman to use these terms either!

With other coiners, you might have to check their FAQ or ask them, as it really depends on a coiner. If they don't allow you to use their flag, a reminder that you're allowed to make your own flag that's open to everyone or request that we make one!

One last note, the misce community was not created to be sexual when originally coined. We do not support sexualizing the community, or any community. If you engage with the misce community in a sexual way, I won't stop you from using our terms, but we don't necessarily endorse you. Rule of thumb? Identity, not kink!

What's a Ficto-Religion?

Link.

Ficto-religions ARE NOT cults/fults. If your account partakes in either of those activities, you WILL be blocked.

Misc Questions

I've seen you use the term 'Faen'; What does that mean?

Faen is a recently (past four years) revitalized term for peri and their descendants across other cultures. Peri is the arabic spirit that led to the legends of fairies, faeries, pixies, sprites, seelie, unseelie, etc. Faen was first used in 2005 to address faefolk in Arcana Evolved.

We use it to generally address such beings, and will specify when we're talking about a specific being.

How do you make your flags?

For pronouns, I search up their quote "recommended gender pairing" unquote (i.e. star/stars/starself and stargender) and create a color palette. Then I make the stripes with Lunapic. We might add an icon or change up the colors a bit more using an art tool. As for decorative icons, we either draw them ourselves or pick an image from Creative Commons (generic files anyone can use).

For other identities, we'll look up an image or flag related to the theme and make a color palette. Depending on what it is, we might use the same process as before or use one of these Creative Commons templates. Normally, we'll use the wide-spread accepted symbol for the identity, and if it seems suiting, we might add some creative flare.

<Name> interacted despite them being a DNI!

Tell me who they are and I'll block them. Most likely? I missed them. Either way, DNI means I won't interact. If they touch my flags, I can condemn them for it, but I can't exactly stop them. Flags are normally under a CC 3.0 License, meaning they can use them however, unfortunately.

We'll update this as questions are asked and things are coined!

[expvrgction]

Hey. Charger here.

This is an out-of-character post and tagged as such-- As well as an important announcement. Even if it's not for you, then at least it is for me. Don't worry, it isn't anything life-threatening. I'm sorry for possibly having worried some, if not all of you.

You're in for quite a long read, so everything will be under "Keep Reading".

The last few months was a "parched" moment for me in terms of creative writing and art both. I barely post anything on Tumblr these days, and whatnot with being torn between maintaining all role play blogs I manage, and retiring all of them altogether.

I am currently unemployed as of the date of writing this, and as much as I would like to be hired under someone else, or be hired by a company, it isn't my type, and I don't find myself thriving nor surviving in such a work environment anytime soon. The way I see it, freelancing may be the best choice moving forward.

There are many ways in which this can go. I am currently interested in art, creative writing and video games, but all of these so far had been just hobbies, and making a living out of either would require a lot of knowledge before jumping in. At the same time, I have tried to dip my toes into live streaming some time in the past, and though content I made might be full of scuff, I have gotten the hang of the basics, and wish to pick it up again and move forward from there. This will also require more knowledge and learning along the way.

However, if I do decide to do live streams again (I have a couple past live streams on YouTube before taking a year-long hiatus due to burnout and prioritizing on myself, my friends and loved ones)-- And have a schedule I can work well with, then I may end up either having to engage in text role-playing more sparsely, put it to the side for now, or retire from it, here on Tumblr, and possibly Discord as well.

As such, all role play blogs I manage, including ones I have not promoted here (@expvrgction, @tokeikaijin, @mayor-bubblegum) will be put on indefinite activity/hiatus, effective immediately. Any thread that has recently been replied to on any blog listed, if at all, will still be worked on, and any in-character asks and submissions will still be accepted at this time-- But ask boxes and submit buttons to the following blogs will be closed at some point after this announcement. If any RP partner still wants to continue where any thread has been left off, feel free to send me IMs, or contact me via Discord @ zicasupercharger.

I can be contacted via my main Tumblr account (@zica-supercharger @notphonecharger), my other main Tumblr account focused on posts and reblogs ZeniMax Media related (@the-world-spear), or my aforementioned Discord handle. Any changes to these URLs, as well as my Discord handle will be edited and reblogged as necessary.

Thank you for 2+ years here (and more, if you count previous RP blogs I have deleted, going as far as my not-so-proud early 2010s RP era)! I would like to apologize for some things I did that might have upset you in any way, and wish you all the best.

See you when I see you,

Charger.

[automatismoateo]

ExMuslim Forced coming out via /r/atheism

ExMuslim Forced coming out Hi all, I grew up in a v backward hellish Pakistani family in Orange County. My parents and everyone around me has been fucking abusive all my life. My mom abused me to NO END, I cannot explain the layers of abuse that have unfolded within my parents household. When I was 17, I was forced into marriage to a Pakistani overseas man, and the second I turned 18 he was here. The marriage was HELL and I kept begging my parents to help me out but they did NOTHING. I had no money or income for much of the past 10 years and was raising his two kids. When I left Islam everything was harder because I no longer had to tell myself that it was "Allah ki marzi" or God's will or whatever. I have been being abused for like the past 20 years of my life from parent's husband, inlaws, etc. Finally this year, I took a stand for myself and said FK this. My husband also left Islam also and we decided to try nonmonogamy since we haven't had any other partners. I know this is a cheap cop out for me to find some semblace of love because I feel tied to his home due to young kids. I actually want to find something real. Anyways, this past year I had some good dating experiences, and was surprised that I am indeed not a washed up pathetic housewife but someone that men could find attractive. I started finding friends outside of the Muslim community and got a job. I started distancing myself from family. Yesterday night someone found my dating profile on an app and forward it to my brother. They have used emotional blackmail, abuse, bullying tactics, financial deprivation to always bend me their will. He called both my parents and I am awaiting this impending doom that they're masoom innocent little daughter who was pissed off at 17 has now been with other men. I am exploring my sexuality for the FIRST time at 32... and I haven't even slept with anyone else yet... just casual dates, kissing and making out with other men. At the same time, I don't feel that men are something I should write off to stay this pure saint for a man that was forced upon me. I know that this will spread within my extended family like wildfire and my parents will be utterly shamed. I am so sad that this got out and idk how to handle it. My dad started saying he's having a heart attack and palpitations...he's already had two heart episodes and my mom is a stroke patient. I am feeling very alone, scared, and isolated... How will they come to terms with my atheism ? My inlaws and everyone are going to come for me as if I am the biggest whore in all of history. Just need some support right now... Sorry it's so long. I am just waiting for this big blowout atm. I am going to have to stand firm and say I am atheist and I have a right to act on my sexual desires. I am not hurting anyone. They will be even more upset because their "naslay" or grandkids will no longer be Muslim. Thanks for reading. ​ TLDR: Forced into marriage at 17 to Muslim man, left Islam, exploring sexuality... found out by brother on dating app..Impending massive fallout from family and community. Submitted December 10, 2023 at 08:06PM by zaraahmed1 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/M3Tm2ev)

[carlacachu]

Tempted to say “Lord, ibalato/iregalo Mo na po ito please sa akin”. Then I realized how His ways, His plans are better and beyond mine and imagination combined.

So Lord, let Your will be done po.

2 years ago today, I learned I was removed, or should I say “kicked out” of the program I joined and worked so hard for, for almost 3 years because I failed to comply the necessary requirements. It was a PhD program in an equally prestigious university here in the Philippines. I should say, though, that it is the university’s requirement that we do not fail more than 1 subject; otherwise, we’re out. And it all happened in the First Semester of the pandemic.

I originally planned to enroll only 1 subject because work is even more demanding than it usually was. But my professor persuaded me, but really, I felt coerced to take the other subject alongside the only 1 I meant to enroll. Honestly, I found it terribly challenging to focus that time. It was not that I was constantly home that made it hard and prior to that I was often out somewhere studying because it was easier for me to focus then. But the fact that my Lolo (grandfather, my dad’s side) who had a history of sexual assault that really affected me to my core.

I posted my story way, way back about my history on this subject. But as a person who had not really healed from this experience, my grandfather living with us due to his condition placed my mental health in jeopardy. I barely stepped out of the room if not for a quick pee or the need to take a shower. I had a hard time sleeping because I felt the need to stay awake all night so he wouldn’t be able to come in and harass me. It eventually led me to filling up my bedroom with lots of plants, painting it all white from 10:00pm until 5:00am, redecorating and all to make the room my home; the safest place I could ever be. I stopped joining family meals because I can’t bear sitting next to my grandpa. And while my dad wasn’t aware, my mom was. Because she knows what happened to me in relation to my Lolo’s criminal past.

Alas, before the semester ended, I had to take an F from the only subject I originally planned on taking. It was because I was lagging behind on the requirements and my professor, while kind, also had his deadline. The other subject, however, since I was able to submit a few papers before the closing of their system, I was given an INC or incomplete. I could still make it. Or at least I thought I could.

Eventually, I got married. We initially planned to hold the wedding later in 2021 but my then-boyfriend-now-husband decided we’ll pull the dates closer to sort of ease me from my burden. Before we were even wed, my Lolo was sent off to live with one of my aunts. Months after I got married, though, things took a turn for the worst.

No longer detailing what happened, because believe me when I say there’s so much to say about it. So many things happened; more sad days than happy ones, until I received an email from the university registrar saying I am kicked out of the program due to my failure to comply.

I messaged my other professor, the chair of the department, and showed her the message and only responded with, “I’m sorry. Perhaps a different program is more fitting for you.” I sent my professor an email and he expressed his sincere apologies about it. There was nothing they could do, actually. It was all my fault.

Maybe I wasn’t mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and maybe even physically prepared for it. PhD, after all, is a huge leap. And this leap caused me to lose my self-esteem even more because I felt out of place all the time. But that’s for another blog, I guess.

2 years later, here’s me. Trying again, in my early 30s. God has placed the desire in my heart to pursue this and I pray He will bless it too. I pray He will always keep my heart and mind on His hand always that I will remain focused and strong enough to finish this.

This is why I was grateful to have lost the other job.

At my now-only-fulltime job (teaching), I am given the convenience of lessening load although it is still demanding as ever. I feel like this is the Lord removing my ‘negotiables’, the things I can forgo so I am prepared to take this on. I’m praying that this notion is right.