#sorry for not posting it’ll happen again

[melwnst]

────── ⋆⋅☆ FINAL BLOW, D.W

summary. Dean dies, even after saying goodbye, he still haunts you.

⭑.ᐟ I’m so sorry for this one…. If you’re not too broken please interact and send requests if you have any <3 to cheer you up Sam’s birthday’s my next post:)

word count. 849

supernatural masterlist/full masterlist

──────────୨ৎ──────────

It’s cold outside. It was warm only a few hours ago, but now the storm’s taken over. You shiver, your teeth collide, your hands move trying to get warmer by the minute. Your feet ache stuck on the floor like they’re about to melt right into it.

Then it’s the tears. They won’t stop. They flood, they hurt, they burn. It’s cascading, there’s no stopping them. You know Sam’s behind you because you hear him sniffle too, you hear him curse, lash out, cry out for his dead brother even though he’s supposed to be the calm brother, the put together one.

Except now he’s not. He’s not collected, he’s grieving. The memories, the love, the childhood that gave him nightmares but because he had Dean there was at least a little bit of light and joy.

Sam regrets a lot of things about how he handled his life. But his relationship with his brother, that’s what he regrets the most. How angry they were, how they had to fight at every single inconvenience, not being able to just talk. The anger issues, the daddy issues, the whole lot.

You don’t hold Sam. He doesn’t need that- you don’t either. What you need is Dean to come back, but you know that won’t happen.

He’s really gone, for the last time.

It was the final blow.

You knew it was coming, it would happen eventually because with this job, no one’s invincible. But you didn’t expect it to happen now.

You got to say goodbye at least- that gives you a little peace.

You wonder if it saved his soul though. If somehow, he’ll haunt you, because you want him to. You want to keep feeling him even when you don’t see him. You want to keep knowing that he’s right by your side, his presence, even his ego.

You stare at the flames burning his dead body. You stare at the shadow of his body, or what’s left of it. You stare at what you can’t see anymore, until your eyes burn so much you have to turn around.

Dean dead, he’s not coming back.

Sam is still here. You haven’t lost everything yet.

So as the days pass, neither of you can sleep. So you talk. You keep talking until you cry, until you feel like giving up because life without dean’s just not worth it.

Sam tells you it’ll be okay though. That he’ll be there till eventually he’s not, but he’s not planning on going away anytime soon.

Sam doesn’t fill the void- the numbness, but he helps.

The day Sam gets married, you keep an empty seat next to you for Dean. You know he’s there, you can feel him. The tears are back to burning, but this time it’s not because you’re grieving. Or maybe it is- but it’s mostly because you see Sam, and you can’t believe it took this long for him to find happiness. You wish things had gone differently so he could’ve been okay a long time ago. But it’s not use- the what if’s, the maybe’s, none of them matter because things happened, and you have to live with that forever.

Sometimes it’s okay, sometimes it’s not. You pray for Dean, and you know he’s right there the next second. When it’s not okay, it’s because you don’t feel him. You start feeling like maybe he’s crossed over, moved on, at peace. So you cry again. You cry, it’s loud, it’s full of anger and resentment, for who you’re not sure. Maybe the universe, maybe god, maybe Dean.

Or maybe yourself. Maybe you’re mad because you deserve better. You deserve better than to grieve him for the rest of your life. You deserve the happy life, the kids, the dog, the picked white fence Dean promised you, but you won’t get any of that because you know nobody’s ever going to get you like Dean did. Nobody will touch you the same, make you laugh the same, love you as passionately and strongly as he did, and that breaks your heart so much you’re not sure you have one anymore.

Sam tries his best. He tries to get you, he tries to include you in his little family. And it works for the most part- the lunches and dinners, the times you babysit his son- named after Dean. But it’s still not enough. It’s not enough because when you look at Sam, or Dean number two, he’s there. You see his smile, you even hear his laugh, and you’re haunted.

Haunted by his ghost, and hunted by the feeling of emptiness that Dean used to fill so well.

Dean’s gone, but you’re not. Which means you have to live, right?

You have to wake up in the morning because he can’t.

You have to make a living out of something because he can’t.

You can’t hunt anymore because everything reminds you of him.

You have to cry or laugh because he can’t anymore.

You have to watch his favorite movies and listen to his favorite songs, except he’s right there with you, you know he is.

You feel him at least, and that’s all you need.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist: @tinas111 @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @lov3-audz @mostlymarvelgirl @that-stanford-girlie @sunnyteume (comment&follow to be added!)

[gummycat12]

Welcome to the Pomni verse

Carnival Pomni by @sm-baby

Boxing Pomni by @burrotello

Terrible Pomni by @obamerzslop

Freakshow Pomni by @hootbon

(and regular Pomni by gooseworx ofc)

[gardening--tools]

when your mutuals say the exact right combo of words that activates your yap-instinct like a sleeper agent and you accidentally send a novel over discord

[gumisocks]

can you guess what ive been playing recently

[dailyweeklybenposting]

Woe, fear of public speaking be upon ye!

[jadewithaj]

Sincaraz - Words (this is the only way for me to say i love you)

You don’t always know when the world comes crashing on you.

That was Jannik’s thought when he opened his phone on an otherwise uneventful Saturday morning. He had planned to stay in bed for a bit longer, then breakfast, and then some training. And finally he will allow himself to call his boyfriend from another continent, whom he hasn’t seen in exactly 2 weeks and 5 days.

Or an au where sincaraz was outed by paparazzi and what comes after.

Written for prompt: sincaraz; they get outed or accidentally out themselves, cue a lot of panicking before they decide to own it and go watch each other's matches

I’m very sorry anon, this is a VERY late fill😭

[napping-sapphic]

Obviously I’d want them to do whatever makes them happiest but part of me really does hope that if i ever get married that my spouse takes my last name, not because it’s traditional or whatever but because i just really want to take my own name back and actually form a family that i love and that loves me in return out of it. I want to overshadow my past and reclaim my identity and share it with you, i want us to be so intricately tied together in every possible way i want to make a little family of just you and me where there’s so so so much love, just as families are supposed to be

[mrsselfdestrvct]

thank you for one million followers🤫🤫💐💐💐💐💗💗💗💗💗🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💗🌸🌺🌷💐🌻🌻🌺🌺🌺🌷🌷🌸💐💐 i’m buying you all ice cream

[moonsaurora]

yall are obsessed with a hard launch and for what 😭

[sickfreaksirkay]

genuine question here did anything about that post i made about thesaurus . com saying knight is a synonym for lover suggest that im a completely fucking stupid idiot who’s never heard of a knight before in his stupid brainless life?

[aureatchi]

hiatus. (indefinite/for a chunk of the year or so) reverie is in intense academic rivalry with fyozai. <3

ao3 (for all updates/new works): @/osaroseus.

return to tumblr mlist (rules).

[idontmindifuforgetme]

ur so cute <33

Not as cute as U

[noctuascion]

i have been doing very important research about a specific HC from izbubbles on twitter and nicktoonsunite on tumblr about danny having episodes where he’ll bleed ectoplasm ( usually in the form of vomiting ) and i’d been wanting to do a take on this HC for awhile now, but i wanted to make sure i was educated enough before doing so. so i spent all day yesterday researching both actual blood disorders and also paranormal ectoplasm. hurray me.

and i haven’t actually posted anything on this acc in literal ages, but i wanted to share it just in case the DP fandom was at all interested in what i have to offer. it’s not all 100% factual, but it’s a series where a guy can turn into a ghost whenever he wants. cut me some slack on inconsistencies or stuff that’s just blatantly incorrect.

anyway, enough dilly dallying. izzy’s original HC is pretty straightforward: danny can get a build-up of ectoplasm when he doesn’t transform for awhile and will have episodes where he vomits up the excess, and while i’m not opposed to that, i don’t want to outright copy their neat idea. so, i’ve actually made up two different terms for my danny HC: “ghost hemophilia” and “ghost anemia,” essentially copying the naming scheme of ghost acne.

however, before i can get into that, i want to talk about how i think ectoplasm could possibly work in the DP universe.

now, it acts an awful lot like human blood does, but obviously ghosts don’t really need to have blood like humans do. ectoplasm, in the paranormal sense, is what allows ghosts to interact with the physical world. in the DP universe, i think ectoplasm does just that, but if they run out of it, then they’ll be unable to interact with the physical world ( “ghost anemia” would be the term used here; essentially it’s just a ghost’s lack of ectoplasm causing them issues in interacting with the physical world: they still can, but they’ll become intangible at random intervals ).

now we’ll move onto plasma, which is the liquid part of our blood. it’s where our red and white blood cells and platelets are, and i think it would work similarly in ghosts, though it holds the components that allow ghosts to interact with the physical world instead ( and in danny’s case, probably red and white blood cells and platelets as well, seeing as he’s still capable of getting sick, but he’s also just a biological mystery in general, so take that with a grain of salt ). a deficiency in plasma causes hemophilia, and hemophilia causes copious amounts of bleeding from even minor wounds due to a deficiency in platelets being unable to clot the wound. a deficiency in plasma in ghosts could cause “ghost hemophilia,” which then could cause “ghost anemia.”

tl;dr plasma deficiency in ghosts causes “ghost hemophilia,” which causes any minor wounds sustained to excessively bleed, and thus causes “ghost anemia,” which makes it difficult for ghosts to remain tangible.

plasma ( paranormal ): keeps together all of the components allowing ghosts to remain tangible.

ghost hemophilia: excessive leaks in ectoplasm from wounds.

ghost anemia: an occurrence where a ghost will struggle to remain tangible when there is a deficiency in ectoplasm.

ectoplasm: a ghost’s “blood.” allows the ghost to remain tangible in the human world.

i think i’ve simplified the terms best as i can! what does this mean for danny, though? since he has both human and ghost DNA? well, this is the rocky part, since danny is such a biological discrepancy, but with the ghost acne episode, i’m lead to believe that half-ghosts are able to have one issue in one form but not the other ( that example being vlad having ghost acne as a human but not as a ghost ).

danny having a plasma deficiency could be caused by transforming too quickly after fights and not allowing his ghost form to fully recover the lost ectoplasm, causing that plasma deficiency, which will then domino into the other ectoplasm disorders i’ve explained! so, what does that mean for danny’s human form? well, while vlad had ghost acne as a human, it still affected his ghost form to a certain degree, i.e. making him weaker. ghost acne is lethal, however, and ghost hemophilia and anemia are not ( at least not to a ghost they aren’t ). danny’s ghost form having ghost hemophilia can cause sudden bleeding from different orifices in human danny’s body ( eyes, nose, ears, mouth ) and while harmless on its own, it is a very notable issue, because when he transforms again, he’ll struggle to remain tangible. if it’s an especially bad episode, he could completely bleed out and experience “second death,” which is essentially a ghost becoming completely unable to interact with the physical world, only heard through speech.

because danny is such an oddity, i want to say having an episode where ectoplasm bleeds into his human form will force a transformation and give him an episode i haven’t actually named just yet ( i’m thinking maybe “ghost down” ). his physical body will become more or less a “husk” and still excrete ectoplasm. because of a forced transformation, it will cause what looks like a complete freak out and like danny’s in pain when he’s actually not; he actually can’t feel anything, which emulates a “second death” but isn’t actually what’s occurring. he doesn’t reach second death until his ectoplasm is completely gone and he starts fading through things.

i’ll try to explain it in more simple terms, just in case i lost the plot a little there: if danny doesn’t let his ghost form recover lost ectoplasm, then he will have a “ghost down,” caused by a plasma deficiency that triggers ghost hemophilia and anemia. if he has a ghost down, he goes into an almost comatose state where he’ll continuously lose ectoplasm until he experiences second death and start fazing through things.

now, how does danny recover ectoplasm? his body will naturally do so. because ghosts are still sort of an enigma in the scientific world of DP, that means the knowledge they have on them is pretty limited, so unless i start coming up with things the fentons could potentially do, i’ll just say his body will naturally recover it. how to keep him contained when he’s experiencing ghost down? well, we’ve seen numerous occasions where ghosts have been locked down with anti-tangible equipment, danny himself included. the fentons ( since they know his identity by the end of the series ) could possibly make something specifically for danny when he has a ghost down. sort of like a containment area where ghosts can’t faze through it. sorta like the cage we saw during one of the dani episodes, i believe. the one jack got stuck in, actually.

when ghost down occurs, danny just sorta has to ride it out in the containment area, and the chance of experiencing second death is high but not always guaranteed.

i think i’ve mostly gotten everything i wanted to write out here??? obviously forgive any inconsistencies or things that don’t make sense. i have more where i have most of this stuff written down and thought through, but i did eventually start thinking of things as of writing this post. i’ll probably write a fic about this in the future honestly?? i’m not sure. i haven’t written one of those in literal ages. feel free to share any opinions you might have about this and whatnot. i’m not the most brilliant of writers, but hopefully some of this is of interest to some of you. peace. ♡

[mars-ipan]

kinda funny when ur brain’s gut instinct is repression so you just kinda watch while your stress and emotions get bottled and corked and the whole time ur just like “that is going to bite me in the ass so bad later but i can’t seem to open the damn bottles without getting glass everywhere so! guess we’ll wait”

[seventh-district]

.

[chilapis]

i’m so in love w coming to visit ur blog every few days bc i’m always like hmm i wonder what lapis is up to and it’s always some post abt childe w the funniest tags imaginable keep up the absolutely amazing work boss

It is literally always such a delight to have you around, thank you. I hope you’ve been taking care? And that you aren’t being too hard on yourself for the disrupted sleeping schedule. It happens to the best of us, I just hope you’re seeing to the rest of your needs; medication, hydrating, stretching, nourishment, etc. Also, I always find it so heartwarming to visit your blog to new Sethos musings as well; your affection for him feels so genuine and soft, it’s so lovely. The Sethos mutual to ever exist.

What is Lapis up to on this lovely Thursday afternoon (2.5k word Tartaglia analysis on main)