#here it is too but i see so many posts ab a hard launch and for what

[moonsaurora]

yall are obsessed with a hard launch and for what 😭

[btschooseafic]

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Pairing: platonic!oc x ot7

Details: manager!oc, predebut/idolverse, partial BTS World!verse

Summary: Debut day!

Warnings: This is a fictional story based on real events. The characters presented here are not the same as their real life counterparts. (TW: panic attack, dieting mentions) [Masterlist]

Track 22: Debut!

Started From the Bottom- Drake

“Started from the bottom now we’re here

Started from the bottom now my whole team fuckin’ here.”

Debut Showcase, Gangnam Ilchi Hall-June 12, 2013

“Aviva-yah,” Yoongi called. Aviva looked up with her camera, only to be faced with Yoongi snapping a picture of her with his. He looked down at his camera and grinned. “Looks good.”

Aviva looked him over. “So do you. I really like the skirt.”

Yoongi did a little twirl. “Hip hop!”

“Ah… I’m so nervous, I’m stiff as a board,” Jin muttered.

“Want a massage, hyung?” Jungkook offered. Jin blinked at him.

“Seriously? Yeah, that would be great.” Jin sighed happily as Jungkook massaged his shoulders. Aviva walked over, getting a shot of them. “You’re good at this. How come you don’t do it more often?”

“Cause this is a special occasion,” Jungkook told him. “Don’t get used to it, hyung.”

“…I’ll pay you in food,” Jin offered.

“…I’ll consider it,” Jungkook said. Aviva laughed. They glanced at her.

“Yah, go away, camera-ninja,” Jin said.

The boys preformed Bulletproof Pt. 2, No More Dream, and Like to round it out. In-between changing their outfits, Aviva got a quick word with Yoongi and Hoseok.

“How’s it going out there?” She asked them. Yoongi and Hoseok looked at each other.

“Good~?” Hoseok said.

“Good~” Yoongi agreed. Namjoon stepped up behind them, putting his hands on their shoulders. Hoseok clutched his chest as Yoongi plastered on an overly surprised face.

“What’re you guys doing?” Namjoon asked.

“Talking about how great you guys are,” Aviva told him.

“Yah!” Namjoon flushed. “It’s time to get back on stage!” He pointed his finger in the air. “Let’s go!”

Afterwards, Aviva stood off to the side, watching the boys get interviewed about their first performances.

Yoongi spoke about how they were more authentic than other idol groups doing hip hop. Namjoon spoke about wanting to reach out to teenagers and get them to think about what their dreams were, and wanting to win a Best New Artist Award.

At the end of the night Aviva presented them with a custom-made cake. “Sorry I didn’t bake this one,” she said. “But I saw an ad for this bakery, and I thought it could be cool.”

“It is!” Jimin assured her. “Your cakes are probably the tastiest, but this one is very pretty.” Aviva clenched her fist.

“I’m going to improve my cake decorating skills.”

“Ah, that’s not what I…” Jimin smiled at her determined expression. “Okay, I can’t wait to see what you come up with—shall we eat?”

M!Countdown Debut! June 13th 2013

At their debut M!Countdown stage, Aviva was carrying around her camera again, to get behind the scenes footage.

Joonho and his assistants were working hard to mark sure every item of clothing was perfectly place. Jihye and Eunjung were chatting as they waited for their turn. However, Aviva could see that Eunjung had already gotten to Namjoon earlier this morning with an important addition to his hairstyle.

Aviva laughed, stretching her arm up and tracing the letters RM that had been shaved into the side of his head. “I haven’t seen this yet…”

“What? You don’t like it?” Namjoon said nervously.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “It’s just… I wonder what you’ll think about this style when you look back at it. Fashion is so changeable…”

“All the more reason to enjoy it now!” Hoseok said, popping up behind them, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and the other around Namjoon’s back.

“You would say that,” Aviva said, flicking the spiky mask.

He laughed. “You really like this thing, huh?” He struck a dramatic pose. “What I do for the sake of art!” She and Namjoon both laughed along with him.

Jungkook and Jimin walked over. Jimin spotted the camera and swerved slightly to sit on a nearby bench.

“I’m going to practice,” Namjoon said, turning towards the wall and taking a few deep breathes before launching into one of his verses. It was the quick one.

Hoseok mimicked him jokingly. Jungkook watched and then did the same. Hoseok laughed.

Namjoon frowned, pointing at Jungkook. “I hate this kid.”

“No, you don’t, Namjoon-ah,” Aviva said easily.

“If you’re gonna copy me, try and do it properly, at least,” he challenged. Hoseok shrugged. Jungkook tried. “Not similar!”

“He can’t do it so well when he’s under the spotlight like that,” Hoseok told Aviva.

“Well, Namjoon-ah does have his own style of rap,” Aviva thought. “You should rap like yourselves, not like him. That’s what makes you all special.”

“Aw.” Hoseok poked her on the cheek. “Cutie, manager-nim.”

“…Can we move on?” Aviva said. “Your audience doesn’t want to hear about me, they want to hear about you.”

Jimin quickly rapped the verse, blushing when they turned to him.

“Ah, sorry,” Jimin said in English for some reason.

“No, it was cool,” Namjoon told him, patting him on the shoulder. “You’re the coolest.”

Readier, the boys loosened up by seeing who could rap the fastest in English. Then Namjoon moved on to walking through their performance. Aviva could see the maknae line’s eyes glazing over as he spoke. Taehyung spotted her and blew her a kiss. Jimin noticed and laughed quietly. He moved over to her.

“Shouldn’t you be listening to your leader?” Aviva teased.

Jimin grinned sheepishly. “Ah, well… I thought maybe our fans could use an update on what we’re doing? That’s who you’re recording this for, right? Our fans?” He thought. Aviva nodded. “Right now we’re in the waiting room.” Jimin pulled at Jungkook’s arm. “Jungkook-ah.” Jungkook turned around and stepped closer to them. “The camera’s on, see?” Jungkook bent down slightly.

“Yah, you don’t have to bend down,” Aviva said. “I’m not that short…” Jungkook laughed. “What will you do next, Jiminie?”

“Next we will…”

“Lose weight!” Jungkook said. Aviva frowned.

“Eh? Why~”

Jungkook laughed. “Stop with the aegyo, noona, you’re too old for that!” He turned back to Namjoon, walking closer over to him to listen.

“…Jungkookie’s a little grumpy today, isn’t he?” Jimin thought.

“Nervous?” Aviva wondered.

“I am,” Jimin admitted.

“I meant Kook... but, yeah, probably everyone is. I mean, I’m nervous and I’m not even performing!”

Jimin grimaced.

“Namjoon-ah, Jungook-ah, have you changed your socks?” One of the assistants asked. The boys broke up to continue getting ready.

“Well… we’re going to lose weight now, I guess,” Jimin said. “Yes, going to lose weight diligently. So I can show you great abs.” He looked down at himself.

“Your abs are already great,” Aviva told him honestly. Hoseok popped up behind Jimin, his plainer mask hanging over his chin.

“What are you doing?” He wondered.

Jimin blinked at him. “What?”

“Jiminie’s giving the fans an update!” Aviva told Hoseok.

“Right now we’re changing into our cool outfits before rehearsal,” Jimin told her and the camera. He wiggled his many ringed fingers at her.

“Bling~Bling~” Hoseok said. He held up his own gloved hand. “It says Bangtan Sonyeondan on it!”

“They are cool gloves,” Aviva agreed. “But you’re interrupting Jiminie.”

“Yeah, don’t interrupt me while I’m speaking to the camera, hyung!” Jimin said. “I get…” He glanced at Aviva and then looked away from her, staring at his feet. “…Shy.” He laughed nervously.

“Why?” Hoseok wondered. “It’s just Avi-yah.”

“It’s fine.” Aviva switched off her camera. “We can take a break.”

“Thanks, noona.” Jimin smiled at her.

“Cookie?” Yoongi offered, holding a small snack bag out to them.

“Ah, no thanks, hyung,” Jimin said. “I’m still dieting, so…”

Yoongi shrugged, holding it out to Aviva.

She took one. “Thanks.”

“You know, your shyness is cute, but you have to get used to the cameras if we’re going to debut now,” Hoseok said to Jimin.

Jimin frowned. “Yeah, well, how do you suggest I do that, Hobi-hyung?”

“Hmm…” Hoseok grinned. “I dare you to flash your abs to the camera.”

“Eh?” Jimin said. “Why?”

“Why?” Aviva agreed.

“Well, he’s going to be doing it on stage all the time now, so it’d be good practice, right?” He figured.

Jimin’s brow furrowed. “He’s got a point.”

“Yes, but the internet is forever,” Aviva reminded him. “If I post this…”

Jimin let out a breath. “Let’s do it.” He gripped the edge of his shirt. “Film me, noona.”

Soon they moved upstairs to the stage for the rehearsal. She got a shot of them moving up the stairs. Jungkook spotted her and waved.

“Ah, manager-noona, when did you get here?”

The other members shot her peace signs as they passed.

They moved straight from the rehearsal into the pre-recording for No More Dream. Aviva watched from the side and then ran around the corner to meet them as they exited the stage.

Aviva filmed them walking off stage, down the hall. The assistants were waiting with tissues to blot at their sweaty faces.

“This leather…” Namjoon muttered, pulling at his shirt, which was sticking to him with sweat. She switched her camera off, letting it hang off her neck. “Honestly.”

“Bend down.” She motioned at him. He did and she carefully dabbed at his face with a tissue, not wanting to ruin the makeup artist’s hard work. “There’s water and towels in the dressing room.”

“Good,” Yoongi said as he passed her. “It’s hot.”

Aviva froze, spotting Jin crying as he stepped off the stage.

“Oppa…” She frowned, noting one of the other cameramen was following him closer to get a shot. She followed them too. “Yah, give him some space.” The camera man hesitated. Aviva flashed her employee ID, and a glare at him. The camera man waved his hand and retreated out of the room. Jin was surrounded by assistants who were wiping his face and fanning him. Jimin and Namjoon were hovering, watching him concernedly. “Hi, Jinie-oppa. It’s okay to cry, you know.”

“But, I’m the oldest," he choked out. "I'm not supposed to..."

“You may be the oldest, but you also have the most sensitive heart,” she thought. “It’s a curse and a blessing.”

“I need to… get ready… for the… performance.”

She frowned at his ragged breathing.

“Seokjin-oppa.” She leaned up, brushing his hair away from his face. “Can you breath with me? Copy my breathing. Come on, slowly in… and out… good job.”

“Sorry,” he muttered, as his breathing settled.

“Hey, it’s a big moment, it makes sense to have big feelings, you don’t need to apologize, okay?”

“Okay.” He smiled slightly. “Guess I’ll say thank you, then.” He bent and kissed her forehead. “Thank you, manager-nim.”

“You two are being very sweet, but you should know, Avi, that he’s crying because his pants kept falling down,” Namjoon teased.

“Yah!” Jin protested, his face turning pink. Namjoon laughed as Jin got him into a headlock and rubbed roughly at his head.

“Ah, watch it��Eunjung-ssi is going to yell at you!”

“Eh? I thought it was because he made a mistake?” Jimin said to Aviva. Jin glared at him. Jimin patted him on the arm. “Don’t cry, hyung, it makes me want to cry too.”

Jin rejoined the others to do their huddle and cheer before they stepped back out onto stage to preform Bulletproof Pt. 2.

Jin waved at her as he passed. Yoongi gave her two thumbs up. Namjoon flashed her a peace sign.

After the performance, Aviva was waiting for them again near the door.

“We did well!” Jin said, hugging her. She laughed.

“Ah, oppa, I’m filming!”

“Our first broadcast recording!” Jin hugged Hoseok.

“First success!” Hoseok did a double fist pump.

“Oh yeah!” Namjoon echoed him as Jin moved on to hug Yoongi. “We’ll do even better on tomorrow’s stage.”

“We will do better tomorrow,” Jin agreed, though he was more subdued than the other two. He smiled weakly. “I have confidence for tomorrow.” Aviva couldn’t find the words. Instead she reached up and brushed his hair out of his face again.

Music Bank, No More Dream Debut!- June 14th 2013

The next day during rehearsal, Yoongi showed off his shirt with his stage name on it to the camera.

“I’m Suga, you see that?”

Aviva nodded. “Otherwise I wouldn’t know who you are.”

“Yah, you brat, it’s for the dry rehearsal,” he said. “You know that.”

Taehyung laughed behind them. Yoongi made a silly face at him. He laughed harder.

Aviva went out into the seats out a couple rows away from the stage to film their rehearsal.

“Yah, noona, don’t you have confidence in me?” Jimin whined after they finished the rehearsal and gathered back in the dressing room. “I know I made a small mistake with the kick, but I promise I’ll practice—and I always get the jump right every time. Every time!”

Aviva was taking a break from filming to charge her camera.

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

“The part when I jump over Hobi, I saw how nervous you got!”

Aviva blushed slightly. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Jiminie, I just… you know I worry.”

“Then don’t watch that part, close your eyes,” Yoongi suggested.

She frowned.

“I can’t do that. I have to support you guys, and get behind the scenes footage, and—“

“Okay, okay.” He waved his hand. “It was just a suggestion.”

She chewed at her lip. “I like the thing with the hat though. It’s cute.”

“I’m not sure cute was what Hobi was aiming for, but I’ll take it!” Jimin said.

Aviva got her camera back in time to film Jimin and Yoongi practicing their dance moves. Taehyung joined them.

“We have to do well,” he told Aviva seriously. “There’s only one chance.” She tilted her head.

“One chance for…?”

He blinked at her. “There’s only, one chance~” He started to sing.

She nodded. “One Shot, B.A.P.”

“Ding, ding, ding—correct!”

Meanwhile, Jungkook trying some of Namjoon’s throat spray.

He coughed. “Are you supposed to drink water with this?”

“Hmmm?” Namjoon looked at him sleepily.

Aviva turned to get shots of the other members. Jin spotted her and waved with the sleeves of his leather jacket, which he was wearing backwards. She laughed.

“Why are you being so cute?”

He pouted at her. “Are you suggesting I’m not usually cute?”

“You’re not usually this shy,” she thought.

“Ah, I did a shy introduction, so I’m still shy now,” he explained.

She nodded. “Well, that’s okay, oppa, I like both the shy and confident versions of you,” she said honestly. He blushed. “Where did Kook go? He was just here...” He laughed.

“Ah, yeah, he’s fallen asleep again.”

Jungkook had almost passed out in his chair.

“Drink,” she ordered him, handing him a water bottle as one of the stagehands fanned him.

“What?” He smiled at her, dazed. “Oh, manager-noona, hi.”

She frowned. “You need to eat something, get your blood sugar up.”

“But I’m on a diet~” Jungkook said. “You can’t make me~”

Aviva sighed. “What about some juice?”

He blinked and nodded. “Yes please.”

“I’ll get it for him,” Jin offered, pulling his jacket on the right way around now. Aviva glanced over at Jimin, who was still practicing.

“Get one for Jiminie too, please.”

Jin nodded.

“One juice for the maknae and one for the Bagel Man, got it.”

Aviva squinted after him.

“Why is Jiminie a bagel?”

“It’s a combo between baby face and glamorous body,” Jungkook explained. He smiled. “Namjoon-hyung told me I’ll probably be like that someday.” His brow furrowed. “Hmm, where did Namjoon-hyung go?”

“I’ll look for him.”

She found him sitting on a chair in the hallway, his head in his hands. He looked like The Thinker, except even stiffer than stone. She switched off her camera, having a feeling he wouldn’t want the fans seeing him like this.

“Namjoon-ah…” Aviva punched lightly at his back. “You’re so tense. Come on, man.”

He squinted at her.

“If that’s an attempt at a massage, you’re failing.”

“No, I’m just hitting you.”

“Oh. You’re doing great then.”

She sighed, laying her hands flat and smoothing them over his shoulders, kneading at the tense muscles.

He made a bit of a happy noise.

“Better?” She asked in his ear. He jolted and then stiffened again. “Sorry.” She withdrew from him.

“No! I…” He turned, his face red. “It’s fine. That was… nice. Thanks. You, ah, weren’t filming that, were you?”

She shook her head. “I do still need some more footage though.”

“You’ll find it,” Namjoon said confidently. “You’re good at this.”

“You’re so amazing, Syub Syub,” Hoseok was saying to Yoongi back inside the room. “You actually danced.” Yoongi turned, spotting Aviva with the camera.

“I usually don’t show off my dancing,” he explained to any future viewers.

“You’re so cool,” Hobi praised. Yoongi smiled awkwardly. Hoseok turned to Tae. “V-ssi, you should show us too.”

Taehyung blinked. “Show what?”

Hoseok hummed one line of the song. “That part.”

Tae did a confused little head wiggle for the camera.

It was cute, but awkward.

“The truth is, V-ah doesn’t do that part,” Yoongi told the camera.

“Oh?” Hoseok smirked.

Yoongi squeezed Taehyung’s shoulder.

“You don’t need to know that part. It’s not yours.”

Hoseok shot an apologetic look at Tae, who was frowning, and then attacked him with a hug, biting his shoulder for some reason.

“Ah, hyung, you’re not a vampire!” Tae said, laughing.

“You’re so cute I just wanna eat you up!” Hoseok told him. Taehyung ran away from him, hiding behind Aviva.

“Yah, leave Taehyung-ah alone,” Jin said, stopping his neck stretches to glare at Hoseok.

“Are you okay?” Aviva asked Yoongi as Tae leaned on her. “How’s your shoulder?” He frowned at the camera. “Ah, sorry, I can edit that out.”

“Please do. The shoulder’s fine,” he told her. “Right now, I’m a little nervous for the pre-recording. I feel dazed, but I’m keeping myself on my toes.” Hoseok and Jin popped in and out from behind him making faces. Tae flashed a peace sign in front of the camera. Yoongi completely ignored them. “We’ll work hard. Please watch over us.” He smiled, just a tinge of annoyance on his face.

“But you’ve been great in front of the camera,” she told him. “I really appreciate it, since it gives me more material to pick from… but don’t force yourself, okay?”

“I’m not,” he told her.

“Swag!” Namjoon called out as he passed the camera, ready to preform. Aviva tried not to laugh. Yoongi bowed slightly. Hoseok and Jimin flashed peace signs.

Aviva watched from the side, grinning as girls shrieked at Jimin’s abs reveal, and cheered at Jimin’s leap.

“We finished it!” Namjoon said as he came off stage, smiling in relief.

“Ah, that was scary!” Yoongi said, rubbing his chest.

Jungkook pronounced it, “So-so.”

“The end!” Hoseok said, flashing a peace sign at the camera.

“Hi.” Jin waved shyly. “We did well, I think.”

“The end!” Tae said, flashing a peace sign. Aviva laughed.

“Hobi just did that!”

Tae pouted.

In the dressing room, Aviva looked at Jimin.

“Have you been avoiding me?”

“Not you, necessarily…” He eyed the camera and stepped closer, pointing. “That red light scares me the most. It makes me wonder what I should say.”

“Just be yourself,” Aviva told him. “If I record anything you’re uncomfortable with sharing, I can always edit it out. I promise not to post anything you don’t want me to.”

Jimin smiled, stroking the lens like it was the face of his lover.

“You’re a good girl, huh?”

“I won’t be if you keep touching the lens!”

He laughed.

Across the room, Jin was making faces at Aviva, passing his hand over his face, and changing his expression dramatically. A sleepy Taehyung was sitting next to him as he got his makeup fixed, clearly not amused.

“Wow, I’m so nervous,” Jungkook said as they headed back towards the stage for the live broadcast.

“You got this!” Aviva told him.

During the performance, Aviva was out in the audience again, catching shots of the fans cheering, especially when the boys flashed their abs, and got into their dance solos.

Afterwards, the boys made more faces at her as they came off stage. The photographer had disappeared somewhere, so Aviva was put in charge of taking the after-performance group photos for the fans. Tae and Jimin were reaching across the group to hold hands, as Hoseok bit down on Jimin’s head for some reason.

“Hobi!” Aviva called out to him. “Do I need to get you a teething toy?” The boys laughed, including Hoseok.

“Ah, we are born in the year of the dog, after all! Come play with us!” He walked over and grabbed her hand, waving at one of the assistants. “Hi, hi, noona, can you get a picture of us with our manager too?” He patted Aviva on her head, ignoring her protests. “We won’t post it anywhere, so just stay still and let us commemorate this moment. You’re part of it too, you know.”

[deans-baby-momma]

Mommy’s (Not So) Good Girl-Ch 9

A/N: So apparently having a stroke and taking a week off from work to recuperate does not stop the work from coming in. LOL This posting is late today because I had about a gazillion e-mails to catch up on before I could do that “fun” stuff. 

Dean begins unbuttoning his pants as he looks at me with hunger in his eyes.

“Strip for me baby. Then get over here and take your punishment.”

My core clenches around nothing and my whole body shudders as I pull my t-shirt and bra over my head and push the shorts down to my ankles, kicking them off. 

I saunter over to Dean in nothing but the lacy boyshorts I’d put on this morning.

“You’re disobeying me little girl,” Dean warns and I stop. “I said strip! That means everything.”

I smile as I slowly slide the shorts down my legs, turning and bending over dramatically in front of Dean. He groans and I look around my legs to see him pumping his thick cock in his fist.

“Get that ass over here,” he demands and I obey. “Now lay across my lap so I can spank you good.”

I lay down with my chest and stomach against his legs, his erection caressing my side. Smack!

I yelp out as Dean’s hand lands on my ass, the stinging sensation sending shivers through me. 

“Bad girl for not doing what Daddy says,” he tells me as he lands another slap to the other cheek. “I told you to strip and you didn’t. You didn’t show me that pretty little pussy until I had to remind you.” 

Slap!

“Naughty for lying to Daddy. Saying she was going back to college and didn’t.”

Smack!

“For trying to make Daddy jealous, talking about frat parties. Those little college boys don’t have what you need. But you know who does?”

It’s quiet for a moment, I’m still reeling from the role-play Dean had so effortlessly fell into. My body is on fire and my mind is practically mush.

Slap! Slap!

“Who has what you need, dirty little girl. Whose cock is the only one allowed in that pussy?”

“You daddy. You!” I scream out. “Oh please Daddy I need it. I need your dick.”

“You do huh?” Dean says as he massages my reddened ass cheeks before he rolls me off of him. “Get on your knees.”

I know not to even try to disobey so I get down on my knees in front of him. He grabs his shaft and brings it to my lips. “Suck Daddy’s dick like the little slut you want to be.”

I open my mouth and stick my tongue out. Dean groans as he places his dick on my tongue and I close my lips around the head. Hollowing my cheeks, I suck the spongy end and tickle the tip of my tongue into his slit.

“Shit. Fuck,” Dean moans out. “Abby baby, you are so good at sucking cock.” 

His hands grab my head and Dean begins thrusting into my mouth, the head stopping at my throat. I swallow once and then open my throat so he can go in deeper.

“Holy shit! Yes. Yes. Yes. Take that cock. Take it all the way. I’m going to cum down your throat. Shit!”

As soon as he says that, I feel rope after rope after rope of his hot, sticky seed hit the back of my throat and drip onto my tongue. I swallow his load and proceed to suck over every drop he gave. 

I look up at him with a smile when I am done and Dean cups his palm around my cheek. 

“Don’t even think we are finished little girl,” he growls. “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”

He tucks his hands under my arms and pulls me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

I can’t help but giggle, which earns me another slap on my ass.  Dean races through the house and up the stairs and I can’t help but admire the way his ass looks. I just want to nibble on it. 

Dean enters my room and instantly throws me onto the bed. I land with a bounce. 

He growls again as I writhe on the made up comforter, rubbing my thighs together to get some friction.

“Ah ah!” Dean tuts. “Open those legs and show me that pussy.”

I put my hands in my hair and slowly open my legs. Too slow for his taste because he takes a hold of my knees and pushes them apart. 

“Do you need another spanking little girl? Making Daddy wait like that?”

“No Daddy,” I say as innocent as I can. 

Dean climbs between my legs, his hands tracing up my inner thighs. He gets to the apex of my legs and stops. 

I look up at him to see him biting on his bottom lip as he gazes upon the sight in front of him.

“Damn baby. You’re so wet,” he says, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “Did you cum?”

“Hm,” I hum out. I had got off while I was sucking his dick downstairs. There is probably a slick spot on the floor now. 

“Time to clean you up,” he says as he lays on his stomach, putting his face level with my core. I hear him take a breath before he dives in, completely devouring me.

Dean’s mouth covers my whole pussy as his tongue invades my slit and licks up to my clit, where he flicks the nub with his tongue before his top teeth scrapes across it. I arch my back off the bed and Dean’s hands rubs up my sides.

Taking his right hand, he slaps the side of my breast and then pinches the nipple between his index finger and thumb. He does the left side the same way before he begins rolling the hardened peaks back and forth.

“Fuck!” I cry out as I run my fingers through Dean’s hair. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Dean fuck me please?”

Dean mumbles against my cunt but I can hear him plainly as day, “No, wait for it.”

I whine and pull on his hair, possibly a bit vigorous than I intended because Dean grunts and pinches my nipples harder. Damn! When did I get so turned on by pain?!

I feel the beginnings of my orgasm start to crest and I launch into a litany of Dean’s name, much like my mom does. Shaking my head to get her out of my thoughts, I scream out his name as that crest hits and I fall over the edge, trembling and vibrating.

Dean hums as he licks up everything I give him, much like I’d done for him downstairs. 

“Damn baby girl. That pussy is so sweet when you cum,” he says as he licks around his lips. Unexpectedly he slaps his palm against my quivering center and I yelp. 

“Now, I’m going to fuck you into the mattress. Make it so you can’t walk all weekend. Hell, I might just stay right here between these thighs the whole. fucking. time.” He slides in and accentuates each word with a harsh thrust.

For close to an hour, Dean has me pliant underneath him; my legs thrown across his shoulders as he pummels into me with force. I’ve lost count of how many times I have cummed on his pistoning cock and my voice is virtually non-existent after all the screaming and yelling I’ve done. 

Dean pulls out and lays on the bed beside me, his dick standing at attention and glistening in the light. “Get on top for a while Abs,” Dean says, out of breath. “I need a break and I’m not even close to cumming.”

Damn, the stamina of him! I clumsily climb on, my center hovering over his erection, drawing out the pleasure I know we will both feel.

Dean’s hand slaps against my ass and he taunts, “Quit teasing Daddy baby girl and get on his dick.”

I throw my head back as he enters me, his whole length encased in my body. I plant my hands on his chest and begin rolling my hips.

“That’s it,” Dean whispers. “Ride Daddy’s cock like a good girl.”

My leg muscles feel like jello as once again I feel my walls clench around him and my juices flow out around his buried member. We’ve been going at it for almost three hours now and Dean still feels rock hard inside me.

“Daddy, I need you to cum,” I whimper as I slow my motions. “I need to feel you filling me up. I want to feel your cum leaking out of me. Please Daddy? Please cum inside me.”

Dean grabs my hips and assists me in bouncing and rolling on him until he squeezes his eyes shut and groans. I feel his dick jump and pulse right before I feel the effect of my words.. The hot, sticky, wet evidence fills me until I can feel it seeping out around him and pooling at his base.

“Fuck, I love hearing you beg for my cum baby girl,” Dean says as I roll off of him and fall beside him on the mattress. Both of us are sweaty, clammy messes but he wraps an arm around me, pulling me into his side. 

I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes.

“Thank you Daddy,” I say as I succumb to sleep.

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @deanwanddamons​ @hoboal87​ @marvelfanbrenda​ @vicmc624​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @elliloumom @stoneyggirl​

[writingsofmyimagination]

With Custard

Gif is mine :)

This Fic was written for the @bangtansmutcentral​ & @ksmutclub​ Made With Love Project.

 My partner was @mind-of-a-hardstan​ and I chose to write the next part to her fic Apple Pie   A Hobi post break up AU - Which I loved.

I hope you enjoy my additon!

Pairing: Hobi x Reader

Genre/Rating: Post Break Up Au/18+

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (light BDSM themes) & A Perfect way to use some food.

Sooo here goes…

Saturday rolled around way quicker than you’d liked. The eggs and custard weighed down your basket like the nerves sedimenting at the bottom of your stomach. Layers and layers of thoughts, questions upon questions & doubts over doubts

How can it be different?

Will he give you more of his time?

Can you do this again?

What was it he wasn’t telling you?

You left his ass because you rarely saw him, he was always working. The relationship, if you could even call it that, wasn’t there. You loved how dedicated and passionate he was to his dancing and singing but something changed. You’d become good friends with all of his bandmates; Jimin and Yoongi more so. Hoseok was always busy this wasn’t new; his schedule was gruelling but the last month or so before you split, he’d also become distant. Leaving you feeling like you weren’t even worth rushing home for after practice anymore. The way his words rolled down your spine two days ago.

“I’ve missed you”

Each syllable laced with sadness as it trickled down each of your vertebrae. You’d missed him too. He could have persuaded you to stay, quite easily if you were honest. You just wanted to see some fight from him.

Your insides were coiled in tight knots. Even though you had a key you knocked on his apartment door; it wasn’t your place to just walk into anymore.

Do I look okay?

Should I have put more effort in?

Jesus Y/N it’s 9am on a Saturday, you look fine

Your white strap top was tucked snug into high waisted denim skinny jeans; A black blazer shrouded your shoulders from the morning nippy breeze that battered you on the short walk from your car.

You heard ruffled hurried feet at the door before it clicked open. His shoulders immediately dropping as the relief oozed out of them.

“Hey”

“Hey”

He stepped back welcoming you in to what used to be one of your favourite places; home. It was unchanged. Neatly arranged furniture hardly filling the expansive space. The sun was still rising over the blocky Seoul skyline; the lounge chair you’d pushed to view the sunrises was still facing out of the long glass windows. Sometimes he’d curl up with you under the fleece blanket.

“After you left, I sat in that chair all night and watched the sky until I had to leave for practice”

“Hobi I… don’t know what to say” The shopping bag gently clattered on the marble side before you turned to face him. He swept himself into you, his face buried into your neck, arms scooped under yours and secured behind you. Your hands locked to the back of his neck, fingers stroking the soft currently brown tinted hair before you’d even registered your response. God, you’d missed him closed to you

why does he have to smell so good?.

The softness of his skin and the fragrance of coconut that lingered from his morning shower.

“I missed you” he muttered into your skin

“I missed you too” your head resting on his. How were you even going to talk about everything, you were speechless. Could you just not pretend all of this never happened?.

“Come on, let’s just make the apple pie and we’ll talk then okay?” You pulled up his chin to be met with glistened over puppy dog eyes. He nodded and offered you a sweet smile.

“You’re actually going to trust me to help?” he queried getting out the ingredients you’d asked him for.

“Well partly, you’ll just have to do what I tell you… for a change” You toyed. You really shouldn’t have, now was not the time for flirting. The way his lips curved up at the sides and the way his eyes shone told you he didn’t object. You both had a small chuckle relaxing even further naturally into each other’s company.

“Can I trust you to peel the skin of the apples and cut them into chunks?” You clicked the oven on to preheat, gas mark 6.

“I’ve got this” he told more to himself than you.

“Right I’ll handle the rest”

While he’d been focused on the apples your eyes had to fight to stay on what you were doing. His washed-out denim jeans, exposing far too much skin through the multiple rips effortlessly dragged your mind elsewhere.

Jesus, am I that frustrated that just a few jean rips have me spiralling?

Apparently, that answer was yes; it always was especially when It came to his thighs.

If he’d caught you oogling he certainly didn’t’ say. You were courteous in kind suppressing all smirks when his eyes wandered over to you when your blazer left your shoulders. Hobi though unlike you could not be as subtle. His hand would brush against yours while he was leaning to grab something, or he’d move you to the side slightly by way of his hand on your hip.

//

“I guess I’ll have to write this down for your mum won’t I” your hands wrapping round the towel drying them off, leaning against the work top.

“She will love you forever”

“Think she’ll trade for her Bakewell tart recipe?”

“Definitely! How long’s it’s going to be?”

“Just under an hour”

“Wanna talk now?” you offered

“Nope” he breathed pushing into you shoving you hard against the work top; hands either side of your face. One leg pushed in between your thighs. Your breathe was lost, caught in lips which were starved of you; and you didn’t half feel it. Your grip at his wrists loosened instead balling your fists round his white shirt at his waist. The pair of you finally needed to come up for air. His forehead flush to yours while your chests rose and fell together trying to contain the frantically beating hearts beneath them.

His hair had fallen over his face shielding his eyes, one hand had slipped and rested on your chest the other his fingers were slightly curled into your hips, bracing, holding himself back.

“We should really talk first” you panted with very little conviction. Hands still balled round his shirt; consciously restraining yourself from grinding on his thigh.

“Just let me make you feel good” His head nudged yours to the side kissed your neck exactly where he knows your weak. He felt the caught moan in your throat.

“Just let me love you…please!” Normally you’re the one whining for him, his eyes were crying out for you. Pleading. Hands shoved him back. In the split second the smirk from his face dissipated, until you hurriedly yanked your shirt over your head launching it the same place as all your rational thoughts; where you didn’t care!

You yanked him by his belt loop back to you, the elated smile back to full volume, the kitten that got the creamiest milk He tapped at the side of your thigh. Up!.

Legs wrapped round his waist, he stabilised your weight assisted by the worktop before setting you down on the dining table which was at an easier level. You’d many times been reminded it was the perfect height the amount of times Hobi had fucked you on or bent over it. Your arms held at his neck tight while his hands unhooked your jeans and yanked them past your behind in a gust. One strong kiss at your lips had you chasing his lips as he removed all contact.

“Where are you going?”

He didn’t need to respond, the jug of custard in his hand said it all.

“It’s cold”

“Even better, underwear off princess!” It wasn’t a suggestion.

“Your shirt first” You bargained feeling brave; pout heavy on your lips.

“You’re lucky I’ve got making up to do otherwise you’d easily earn yourself a spanking for that”

He legs rested in between yours placing the jug behind you, tantalising licking the spoon clean which hung in his mouth. He obliged your request shedding his shirt off in a fluid motion. You could easily lose your way adrift the defined lines stretching across his olive skin. The way his jeans sat snug on his hips, the v line where his lower abs and obliques met were always candy to your eyes. He knew it too. He knew the way his hips swayed captivated every cell in you. Only god himself could help you when you saw him practice; surprisingly not he always invited you.

His finger tipped your chin up, hair ruffled, messy over his forehead framing the man you were so incapable of resisting. Your head obedient in following his hand, his lips fusing with yours; heavy and needy. Your hands unclipped your bra, straps ghosting your flushed skin as it slid down to the floor.

“Well this is new” he purred eyeing the silver ring now running through your nipple. His hand teasing down your neck and chest to investigate. The cool fingertips gliding across the skin underneath your chest heaved out with a heavy inhale

“Is it more sensitive?” He didn’t need the answer, he was going to find out regardless. Your eyes begged him ‘why don’t you find out’ as did the bottom lip being toyed with your teeth.

He was not one to be teased. The hand tracing was now gripping firm, holding you breast secure for his tongue to lavish. Nails on his shoulders, your audible inhale and the broken moan caught in your throat. He heard it all, giving him his answer.

“You never used to make that much of a fuss, so that’s a yes!” he deduced, pleased. Your core was beginning to ache, yearning for any contact and he’d hardly touched you. Using his shoulders as an anchor you pulled yourself closer to him arching your chest into him.

“Is my girl getting needy?” Hobi cooed slick with satiation.

“Mmmhmm…” was all you managed his lips catching any coherent words.

“Close your eyes, don’t open them otherwise you get nothing” Pouting, arms folded. You waited for whatever Hobi had left you to get. Without the heat of him around you the air cooled, goose bumps eliciting from your touch deprived skin. You were still using all your concentrated hearing to sense even the slightest sound. The familiar click of the bedroom door tainted the silence, every few steps you heard your pulse raced just that bit faster.

“Keep them closed” he reminded approaching you stealing the urge for you to open then. Even the silk now covering your eyes smelt like him. The scent was too strong for it to be natural; he’d sprayed it with your favourite aftershave of his. He watched you appreciate his choice.

“Hook your legs round loosely princess”

“…Hobi..” you breathed more in frustration than a plea as his fingers ghosted your core, barely making contact. Enough for him to feel how desperate you were for him; not enough for you to refrain from whining, bottom lip conveying your dismay. You pouted for too long. His teeth soon lightly clamped down softly. He nudged your legs up higher on his waist causing your hips to tilt.

“Fuck!” you cried nails digging harshly at his scapula, swallowing just as hard.

“Nice?” his almost whispered voice trickled down your ear, his breath running wild fire down your neck.

“Mmm” you hummed. A xmas gift from hobi; 2 kegal balls coated in purple silicon building the shape of a peanut now pushed snug inside you. A click emanated from a silicon tail before the vibrations started.

Shimmying out of your grip he swept the jug back into his hands. Your neck, the valley in between your breast, your pierced nipple, just above your naval. Your blood raced under the cold drips of the custard. Your thigh…your….

“6 areas, 6 places I want my mark. Call out the numbers baby” You rolled in the memory of the way his teeth would pinch and suck at your skin leaving blooming blotches of red to remind you of those nights

“5”

Teasing fingers traced the outline of the pools of custard. His hair tickling your sides, his tongue swirling the custard from your stomach, lips sealing on your skin above your Naval. Thighs tightening around his waist, his lips sucking the blooming red petals of blood vessels to the surface. You envisioned Hobi nearly on his knees, lips on your skin, hair covering his face in a coffee mess.

“Please let me see you” you whined. The dull vibrations of the balls were aching; only serving to increase the itch growing stronger inside you against your walls.

“Not yet princess, next number?”

“3” Hoping this would be the number to bring you relief. It wasn’t, just more torture. Hobi was going to make sure he used your new piercing as much for your benefit as his. The warm tongue on the cool metal of the bar, the disappearing coolness of the custard. The harsh bite of his teeth

“Are you making this order up?”

“The order is what I say it is baby” he purred onto your skin pressing open mouth kisses up your body until his lips tangled with yours.

“2” you whispered onto his breath. He dropped through your legs, tongue lapping at the custard from your inner thigh. His bite was much harsher on the meatier flesh, hissing through your teeth. One hand clamping down on a hand that was digging hard into your outer thigh. The pinching of your flesh ravaged your nerve endings; increasing the throb at your bundle of nerves.

//

One firm lick of his tongue up your sternum left only one number.

“1”

“Mmm” he hummed, dropping to his knees.

“Oh baby you’re glistening!” Lustful voice saturated with absolute approval.

“Now do I take my present out or leave it in?”

Your response was lost in a choke. The last strip of custard, had become a chimera with your arousal.

“God I’ve missed you, you taste so damn sweet” he panted in between your thighs.

“I think we can leave this now; I think you’d much prefer me inside yes?

The whine in agreeance as he left you feeling empty. Not for long. His fingers were quickly pressed to the velvet wall with the same pressure as his tongue was pressed flat to your clit. The whirlpool motion of the warm muscle had you fighting to control your breathing, head thrown back. Hand tight in his hair attempting to regain again type of stability. The strong come hither with his fingers had the pit of your stomach in your coils tight building up the pressure driving you into space.

//

“Want to cum yet?” The sweet devil asked denying your fall off the edge for the third time. His chest now flush to yours. Lips at your ear, fingers stilled inside you, palm pressed at your clit.

“Tell me how much how much you want it baby” You were more than happy to stroke his ego

“So…much” you were desperate

“Pleaasse” pleading on the brink.

In the midst of your moan the egg timer started ringing through the kitchen.

“Well you better cum then don’t want the pie to burn” You barely needed anything, the pressure tapping at your clit while his fingers were thrusting back in and out.

Your nails left red crescents printed on his skin.

“I love it when you fall apart” Purposely his palm stayed pressed against you prolonging the aftershocks.

“I’ll get the pie” The blindfold quickly discarded on the floor.

“I want you on all fours on the bed for me” It was an order.

//

The fresh breezy scent of the cotton sheets pressed to your cheek. A heavy hand pressing your neck leaving your ass up.

“I never got tired of how beautiful you look like this” His hand tracing down your spine to squeeze your ass before smacking his palm off it.

“Think you can cum for me again around my cock?” He used your arousal coating himself, brushing your clit sending more aftershocks through you.

“Think you should make sure I do” you challenged.

The ‘making love’ had fully disintegrated. He fucked you like it was the last thing he’d do on this planet. Your hips feeling the sweet bruising under his grip. You were panting half into the mattress until your hair was yanked back; moans flooding into the room.

“Please Hobi” you begged when he stilled inside you. He didn’t respond only to shove you on your back. He’d refused himself his favourite position.

“It’s been too long I wanna see your face when you come undone” he shoved your legs round his waist tightening them. Arms pinned above your head, held captive under one his hands; the other had his weight spread through his hand at the top of your chest. It drove you insane and had you clenching around him when he wasn’t being an asshole and pulling out frustrating slowly. You swore at him a lot, fully taking advantage of the lack of rules that he’d normally set

“I forgot how bratty you can be…without punishments…or a gag” He panted, hips snapping into you harder yet more infrequent.

“So you better cry my name out, wanna cum princess?”

“Fucking hell yes” the end of your words ended up being muffled by the handful of sheet you’d shoved over your mouth. He’d been keeping you on edge, teasing every last frustrated gasp, every last moan from your lips. Slowing down exactly when you needed him not to.

“let go”

//

“Are we actually going to talk now? And I’m absolutely starving, you went to roll out of bed. You were met with resistance in the form of Hobi climbing on top of you.

“I supposed we should. Apple Pie with custard coming up.”

//

“It was painful how much I missed you” Hobi admitted in between mouthfuls.

“I was right there at home Hobi” He sat up, slid the bowl on the bedside table looking at you with bloomed pupils, shining yet shying away to his hands which encased yours.

“You were right, I was away a lot more than my already usualness. And I was doing it on purpose”

It was a burn that scolded you, searing sadness across your heart. The thought of Hobi purposely staying away, the thought he didn’t love or want to see you dragged the colour from your face. You pulled away and joined him sitting. His eyes brows grey further apart, eyes widening pulled open by sheer panic.

“Hey” the cushioning soft tone of his voice, a cold compress on the burn. Forcing your hand up to his cheek.

“But not because I wanted to be away or I didn’t want you” He rushed.

“It’s just…” He sighed, shoulders dragged down in the secret he didn’t want to share.

“Yoongi is pretty in love with you and it was just becoming really hard to see the pain on his face”

Your brain could not compute the indecipherable code being spoken to you

“He… I mean I don’t think he realised I knew, I heard tears from him talking to Joon. He said it just kinda happened. I mean you can’t help that sort of thing but he was just hurting. From then I noticed more and more his eyes when I’d leave, him knowing I was coming home to you.”

You barely realised you’d stop breathing.

“Oh…I…I don’t know what to say” Mind wiped, completely.

“I didn’t know how tell you, it wasn’t my place. I guess I just kinda hoped you’d let the extra time away slide. I… I’m sorry, I never meant for you to feel so unimportant to me. You mean literally everything to me. I love you boo and I was so miserable without you in my life. Please forgive me”

“Will it be any different? I mean can you cope with Yoongi’s…”

“My schedule is still nuts…”

“I don’t mean your schedule dummy. You know I support absolutely everything you’re doing”

“Yeah, Yoongi’s fine now, and even if he still had feelings for you I can’t stay away from you”

You’d never heard Hobi sound so resolute about anything apart from how much he loves sprite.

“Please move back in. The fact I don’t get to curl up into you when I come home kills me”

Hope you enjoyed ready :)

[lonelypond]

Surprise PARTAY!!! In The (Idol) House

Nico Maki, Love Live, 4K, 1/1

SUMMARY: Everyone has a plan for Nishikino Maki's birthday. Which one is the winner?

SURPRISE PARTAY!!! IN THE IDOL HOUSE

TWO NIGHTS BEFORE NISHIKINO MAKI'S BIRTHDAY

Hoshizora Rin flumped, hanging her upper torso down off the bed she and Koizumi Hanayo were sharing to watch the latest installment of Idol House.

“ ‘S weird, Kayo-chin, we were talking about all this with Maki two weeks ago and now it’s on TV.” Rin did an ab curl.

“Having only a two week delay is HUGE." Hanayo's eyes gleamed behind her glasses. She loved talking Idol House. "Nico worked so hard for the initial set up, to make everything go smoothly. She originally pushed for one week, but there was no way editing and song rights could have happened.”

Rin giggled. “It’s like Maki’s in soooper slow motion.” 

Rin bounced a leg impatiently, Hanayo leaned down to pull her up, “Come on, it’s coming back. Maybe we’ll see Maki.”

But no, they cut to a conversation in one of the three girl’s bedroom, Kawano Aki talking to Bokeh Blossom guitarist Harada Mai, who had switched rooms with Yazawa Nico after Kawano confessed her crush on Muse’s tiny tempest.

Aki was lying prone in the bottom bunk, dressed in sweats, her arms wrapped around her favorite huge purple plushie. Fluffy bathrobe pulled around her, Mai was sipping from a mug of herbal tea in the padded, circular seat catercorner to the bunks.

“They fight all the time, Mai-chan. Maki-chan…”

“Maki-chan?” RIn and Mai spoke at the same time, Rin sitting up, suspicious.

Aki shrugged and blushed, “She is awfully cute. And it’s no wonder she’s grumpy. Nico leaves her down in the recording studio alone for half the night. Just yesterday, I heard Nico shouting at Maki-chan that she needed to put a better effort into Shizu-chan’s new song. And why is Shizu-chan getting Muse’s composer to work on her solo?”

Mai shook her head, “Maybe she didn’t tell Japan about her crush on the composer’s fiancee?”

AKi frowned, “Shizu-chan has a crush on Nico? Well, Nico’s being so nice to her…”

“No, Aki-san, I meant you.” Mai quietly correcting.

Aki shook herself, disgruntled, pounded the plushie a little, and shifted so she was sitting cross legged on the bed, “Well, I don’t think Nico’s so nice anymore. Maki’s probably used to being fussed over and instead of fancy takeout or bentos, Nico just leaves these...dented soup thermoses full of curry or something and disappears. Maki-chan’s probably used to expensive restaurants. Her parents own a hospital, they're super rich, it’s why they didn’t want her on the show.”

“Really?” Mai seemed surprised.

“Yeah, I looked her up on a Muse fansite.”

Hanayo and Rin held hands for comfort, “Maki’s not going to like this.”

“Nico’s going to hate this.” Hanayo sighed.

“The site said Maki-chan’s birthday’s coming up. I think we should throw her a party.” Aki put the plushie aside, “Shizu-chan suggested it because Maki’s been so helpful.”

“Nope.” Rin shouted, waving a fist at the screen. “You’re lying, Aki-san.”

Mai took another sip. “That could be fun. Have you talked to Nico?”

Aki pouted. “She’s too busy. She’s got that sakura shoot in Kyoto.”

“I bet Nico has already made plans.”

“From what I heard it didn’t sound like it.” Aki slid closer, whispering.

“What did you hear?” Mai put her mug down and leaned forward. 

TWO WEEKS AGO

Maki was sitting behind her keyboards, headphones on, eyes closed as she concentrated. Nico paused in the door for a moment, jacket over her arm, to enjoy the sight of Maki totally absorbed in music, luxurious eyelashes fluttering, luscious lips mouthing lyrics. Nico missed that voice, she was sorry she didn’t have more time to spend here with Maki working on music, but if Nico was going to really launch her solo careeer in two and half months, she had a lot of miles and hours to put in. Plus, Maki was so relaxed here, in the recording studio, with the best equipment, able to move more than she had cramped up in her room with a laptop and midi synth, hiding her habits from her parents. After a few minutes, and Maki's luscious lips mouthing lyrics Nico didn't know, Nico couldn’t watch anymore, and just decided it was time to slide her arms around her talented, gorgeous, spaced out fiancée. But Nico had forgotten just how spaced out Maki could get when she was working out a problem, so when Nico’s hands slid over Maki’s, Maki screamed and jumped, Nico reflexively holding onto the chair so Maki didn’t tilt onto the floor.

“Nico-chan?!!!!???" Maki's voice trembled,  "What are you doing, why did you, that was….”

“I’m sorry, Maki, I thought you saw me…”

Maki snapped, “I wasn’t expecting a ninja stalker.”

Nico grinned, “Nico did look dangerously hot in that ninja photoshoot back then.”

Maki reached for the power cord that had been pulled out of the computer, “The only thing you’re a danger to is electronic devices.”

“Hey, you’re the one who nearly knocked the laptop over. Don’t blame Nico.”

“I almost had it, Nico...you know how I work, why did you interrupt me?" Maki scowled, "I’m doing this for your stupid show.” 

“It’s not a stupid show,” Nico turned to the camera, glitter smiled and did her signature move, “Nico Nico Ni, you know how important it is for people to see the real work Idols put in. Too many people think we’re silly airheads.”

“I WAS working and you…” Maki had her headset in one hand, gesturing with it, “Can I get back now, before I totally lose the counterpoint.”

Nico sighed and shrugged, “Sure. Nico is sorry she scared you.”

Maki’s voice was almost a shout, “I wasn’t scared.”

Nico fluttered her eyelashes alluringly, “Nico just wanted to see if you wanted an escort home.”

Maki put the headphones around her neck, leaned over the table, glancing at the clock on the laptop, “Nah, I’m going be up for a couple of hours to finish this. And I’ll sleep on the couch down here.”

“You could come up to Nico’s room.”

“I thought we agreed that wasn’t a good idea.”

Aki had been standing outside the door, waiting for a moment to break into the conversation. As soon as she pushed the door open, Nico’s head swivelled, ruby eyes narrowing. Then Nico relaxed, “Hi, Aki. Did you need Nico?”

Aki toyed with her ponytail, “I didn’t know you were here, Nico.”

Maki snorted and leaned into her hand, elbow propped next to her laptop, laser focused on the distance Nico was keeping from her former bunkmate.

“Nico is ninja tonight.” Nico glanced back to stick out her tongue at Maki, who rolled her eyes.

“I was wondering if Maki-chan wanted a snack.”

Maki saw irritation flash across Nico’s face and didn’t know why, but when Nico answered Aki, there was only the slightest whip of sarcasm as Nico began, “Maki-CHAN is fine. Nico is taking care of her. But it’s so late, Aki. And Nico’s been telling you that there’s nothing better for an idol’s skin than 8 hours of sleep.”

Maki wondered when the last time Nico had slept for that long.

Nico put a weighted arm around Aki’s shoulder and hurried her to the door, “Why don’t you try the cucumber mask Nico showed you the other night? Nico will check later to make sure you placed the cucumbers right.”

“Thanks, Nico-chan.”

“Nico Nico no problem.” Nico flashed her hand gesture, shut the door solidly, turned the lock and faced Maki, leaning casually back, “Nico misses you.”

“I’m sure the centimeter Kawano-san’s skirts lose everyday soothes you.”

“Nico doesn’t notice.”

Maki glared at Nico as she dropped back into her chair.

Nico pushed off the door and ran a hand through her hair, “Nico doesn’t care.”

“I do.”

Nico was behind the chair again, her mouth close to Maki’s ear, “Can we try this again?”

After a hesitation, Maki nodded.

Nico slid her hands down Maki’s arms, squeezing Maki’s hands before pullling the composer into a hug, “I missed you. I’m sorry I have to leave before breakfast.”

“Oh..is that…”

“Kyoto.”

Maki’s forehead hit the keyboard, “This April sucks.”

“Nico will make it up to you.”

Maki slid the headphones up, surprising Nico with a smile, “I know it’s important. And I love you.”

“Thanks.” Nico leaned against the table, staring into the tempting warmth of Maki’s eyes as she took Maki’s left hand, running her fingers over the stones of the engagment ring. “Once Nico gets everything set up, we’ll have more time together.”

“Good.”

“Come upstairs and snuggle.”

Maki blushed and shook her head. Three in a room was not a thrill or a draw for Maki.

“Okay, Nico will stay here for awhile.” Nico pulled her shirt out of her skirt, pulled up her knees after she sat, and wrapped a throw around herself.

“Listen to this for me, Nico-chan.” Maki moved a lever and the speakers came on.

“Any time.” Nico would sit on nails, glass, and lava for the brilliant gleam in those sharp, amethyst eyes. Maki’s daredevil grin brightening all of Tokyo when Nico was all in on Maki was a more enticing show than anything Nico had ever imagined.

 ONE WEEK AGO

All of the residents agreed that one of the coolest things about Idol House was that it was also Muse House, with Nico living there, Hanayo helping with social media, Umi leading workouts, long distance dance tips from Eli, Maki in the basement, Kotori dropping off clothing samples, Rin leading a dawn run three times a week, Nozomi dropping by via virtual hangout to gossip and to give insights from her cards, and possibly everyone’s favorite perq, Honoka sweeping through occasionally with an encouraging smile and a week’s worth of desserts from Homura. Today was drop off day and Honoka popped in, glad to be away from the bakery for an afternoon.

“Honoka-chan!” Aki had been waiting in the kitchen, taking Hanayo's advice and making supportive comments on fellow house members TWIG posts, although she ignored Nico’s posts from Kyoto. Three weeks, two guest spots, several photoshoots. Aki didn’t know what Nico’s trick to success was, but she was determined to at least get a Nishikino Maki tune of her own, if not Nishikino Maki.

“Aki-chan! You look cute today!” Honoka put down the stack of boxes with a sigh of relief.

“Let me get you a juice.”

“Thanks!” Honoka sat at the table, glad to have someone getting her a cold drink instead of fussing at her like her mom did.

“So did you hear about Maki’s birthday party?” Aki asked over her shoulder.

Honoka tilted her head, puzzled. She knew Nico had planned a surprise Muse get together and Rin and Hanayo were going to take Maki out to dinner and bring her to the restaurant they'd all decided on since Nico had to nearly hit hyperspeed to get back to Tokyo in time. “Yeah, Maki’ll be surprised.”

Aki took a deep breath, “You know we’re having it here, right, the night before so we can all watch the broadcast together.”

“But RIn and Hanayo were…” Honoka scratched her head.

“Oh, Rin went and told Maki…”

Honoka snorted, “And Nico thought I was going to be the one spoiling the surprise. I can keep a secret.”

“I knew I could count on you." Aki patted Honoka's hand, "Muse really benefited from your leadership.”

Honoka reached into the box she’d placed on the table and pulled out a daifuku, “Nah, we decided not to have a leader. Or Eli would have been if she’d joined earlier.”

Aki opened another box, “Ooh, sakura mochi. Thanks, Honoka-chan, you’re the sweetest.”

“Better eat them before Nico gets back. She never admits to having a sweet tooth, but Maki says she can never find a dessert after…” Honoka froze, suddenly remembering she was in a house full of cameras and Umi’s lectures on not revealing private details ever, but especially when visiting Idol House, especially about Nico, because EVERYONE wanted to know things about off camera, behind the scenes Nico.

“Are you making the birthday cake?”

“Me and Kotori always make the cakes.”

“That’s so sweet. I hope I find people who help me like you help each other.”

Honoka finished her bun, debating whether she wanted another or just the juice. “Well, now you know us.”

“That’s the most amazing…” Aki hugged herself, it really was amazing that THE Kousaka Honoka just bounced into the kitchen to talk about anything. She was never leaving Idol House. It was too exciting.

Juice, Honoka decided. “I guess I’ll see you next week for the party. I’ll have to get Umi to remind me.”

“Just give me your number and I’ll text you.”

“Sounds good.” Honoka bumped her phone against Aki’s.

BACK TO THE RIN PANA BEDROOM

Rin’s phone played "Start Dash". “It’s Honoka. She wants to know what time she’s supposed to bring the cake tomorrow.”

“Maki’s party is in two days.”

Rin typed rapidly, “Yeah, I’m telling her.” Rin read the reply and whistled, “She says Aki-san says Nico moved it to tomorrow because I ruined the surprise.” Rin’s chartreuse cat eyes were wide as she stared at Hanayo, “I didn’t ruin the surprise.”

“No.” Hanayo glanced at the screen where the studio team was discussing Aki’s sudden interest in Maki, “Oh no!”

“Oh no?” Rin asked quizzically, then shouted, “OH NO!”

“We have to call Nico!”

“And Maki!”

Hanayo hesitated, “But if we do anything to mess up the show…”

Rin interupted, “If it’s a surprise party Aki throws, Maki will hate it.”

“Maki will hate it.”

Maki’s our friend, Kayo-chin. We have to tell her.”

Hanayo hummed, nodding, her fingers pushing into each other.

“Kayo-chin?”

“I’ll talk to Nico first.”

Rin frowned, then threw herself back into the pillows, “All right. But then I call Maki.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Rin grabbed the remote.

 THE DAY BEFORE MAKI’S BIRTHDAY

Rin paced the clubroom, “Maki’s not in school, not answering her phone, not at the House.”

Hanayo glanced up from her phone, “Nico hasn’t heard from her either, but Nico hasn’t really been available.”

The club room door slammed open and Honoka fell in, followed by Umi.

“We have a problem.” Honoka annouced.

In contrast to Honoka's vibrating with concern, Umi sounded her most serious. “We have an opportunity, Honoka, to model proper behavior for our peers.”

Honoka grabbed snack bread out of her bag and tilted her chair back as Umi fussed at her.

“What do you mean?” Rin asked.

“You saw last night’s Idol House too and you know Aki-san is plotting something.” Hanayo sped through her words as she connected clues.

Umi settled very primly into her usual seat, ‘Yes, that was the final clue. Honoka had been bothered by a conversation she had with Kawano-san last week, suggesting Nico changed the plans for Maki’s birthday party.”

Honoka nodded, “It took me awhile, but there was something very weird about our conversation. So I asked Maki and Umi.”

“YOU TOLD MAKI ABOUT THE PARTY!?!” Hanayo squealed.

Honoka shrugged, “Rin would have ruined the surprise anyway.”

Rin got to her feet, hand slapped to her heart, “Rin can keep secrets.”

Hanayo smiled fondly at Rin, “We know, Rin.”

“Honoka is just deflecting blame for having spoiled my surprise party last month.” Umi tapped the table.

“UMI!”

“Hah!” Rin pumped both fists in the air.

Umi reined in the mood, “Rin, Honoka, please control yourselves. We need to make a plan.”

Hanayo slid her chair from the computer screens to the table, “What do you want us to do, Umi?”

 IDOL HOUSE, EVENING BEFORE MAKI'S BIRTHDAY, AS KAWANO AKI SETS UP A PARTY

“Shizu-chan, can you go see if Maki-chan is ready to take a break? I bet she’s been working all day.”

“Maki-san is not here today, Aki.” 

Aki leaned away from the banner she was hanging. She’d had a makeover session with a stylist that ran late and started setting up the party as soon as she got back to the House. “I thought you had a recording session this afternoon.”

Shizu smiled, “I had to reschedule.”

“Oh, I wonder if she’s…”

“AKI-SAN!” Honoka bounced in, waving, “That’s such a cool banner. I brought a cake.” Honoka carefully placed a box on the kitchen counter.

“That’s great, Honoka. Just give me a minute and I’ll take a look. If Maki-chan’s not here…”

“Maki is not here.” Umi announced, as she placed a laptop and projector on the table, “And since you find yourself with free time, we have a wonderful opportunity to discuss why integrity is the foundation of success in any industry or situation.”

“Um.” Aki got down from the step ladder, looking confused.

“Unless you have an objection, Kawano-san?” Umi’s expression was tightly masked anger, but her voice was sickly sweet. Aki suddenly felt nervous.

“Of course, not, Sonoda-san.” Aki bowed, as Honoka nodded approvingly, “Please teach me.”

“Take a seat.” Umi pointed to a specific seat, in case Aki mistakenly thought there were options.

“And then cake and karaoke, right, Umi-chan? Rin-chan can’t beat my score…”

“FIRST, Honoka, we watch the presentation. Attentively.”

“Right.” Honoka suddenly hoped Umi would dim the lights so maybe she could take a quick nap. Rin had been smarter, deciding to show up AFTER the lecture.

Umi smiled at Aki, “Feel free to take notes.”

 KYOTO, AFTERNOON OF THE DAY BEFORE MAKI’S BIRTHDAY

Nico hadn’t heard from Maki since yesterday lunch and after texting with Hanayo this morning, she was worried. But Honoka had texted that she and Umi were taking care of it, so Nico didn’t just walk off the set. It was too early in her career to be anything but cheerful and helpful no matter how many cute girls were trying to hijack your fiancée’s birthday party. It was always too early in your career, but right now, Nico was working especially hard to build a reputation as flexible, dedicated, and professional.

The Kyoto temple setting was almost beautiful enough to take her mind off Maki. Nico watched blossom full branches bounce gently in the wind, creating a gorgeous floral tunnel through the red torii gates of the shrine. The pink and white against the red was breathtaking and Nico watched the video crew set up, excited to be filming here. And then a flash of moving red caught her eye, a smiling redhead in a soft pink and white floral dress, a long sky blue coat open, walking confidently through the gates. A hallucination? A dream? No, Nico shook her head, watching as Maki reached up with an easy grace to let her fingers glide through the silky blossoms as she neared, a vision of earthly beauty touching on divine, the jewels on her engagement ring glinting in the sun. Sweetness, confidence, and poised beauty demanded Nico’s immediate approach. Nico had to stop herself from running, but she lifted her kimono skirt so it wouldn’t impede power walking.

“Hi, Nico-chan. You blossom.” Maki offered her hand. Nico wondered if this was actually a scene from a movie, rather than the ordinary, daily life of Yazawa Nico, aspiring super celebrity idol and number one producer in the universe. But whatever this was, she caught Maki’s hand in hers and pulled today’s gorgeous surprise gift closer.

“Hi, Maki-chan. People are looking for you. In Tokyo.”

Maki’s eyes widened with fake innocence and she spoke in the tone Nico had come to recognize as indicating Maki had done something she thought clever. “But I’m here.”

“Why are you here?”

Maki continued smug, using her explain math to Cocoa voice, “It’s my birthday tomorrow, Nico-chan.”

“Nico knows. We had a surprise party all set up.”

Maki shrugged, other hand in her coat pocket, glorious amethyst eyes glowing as she glanced up at the fragrant cherry blossoms surrounding the path, casually leading Nico away from the crew. “I wanted to be here." Maki looked straight into Nico’s lustful heart and winked. "It’s scenic.” 

Nico still had Maki’s hand and she pulled the redhead to a stop, her wooden geta adding enough height that she could peck Maki on the cheek easily. “Nico didn’t notice until now.”

Maki nodded, pleased at Nico’s attentiveness, and continued her steal Nico away stroll, “It was nice of you to reserve the Suite Tsukimi at the Ritz Carlton for us, Nico-chan. There’s a private moon viewing deck and a Japanese garden.” Maki giggled. “It’s exactly the kind of place I’d want to spend my birthday.”

Ah, Maki had been planning this long before the surprise parties. Nico chuckled, swinging Maki’s hand. “Of course, Nico knew that.”

“Of course. Nico knows everything.” Maki checked to make sure they were out of view of the shrine and pulled Nico in for a hug, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Maki-chan.”

“I’m proud of you.” Maki stepped back, sounding pleased and worried, “And you look so cute in your kimono. Maybe I should have worn one?”

“No.” Nico flipped Maki’s gossamer skirt gently, enjoying Maki's slight shiver at the contact, “You are perfect.”

Maki blushed, both hands going back to her pockets,

“Nico plans to show you how perfect as soon as we wrap up here.” Nico's voice was soft, but certain.

Suddenly eager, Maki pulled a bag out from behind her back. Nico hadn’t noticed the strap over her shoulder, “I brought my Fuji. Will they mind if I take some pictures of you?”

“Sure. Nico will make sure no one bothers you. Take some of the the cherry blossoms too. This feels like a blessing.” Pleasure bubbling through contentment, Nico held out her arms and spun, “Nico knows there will be gray days, and no sleep days, and no gorgeous surprise visitor days, but today, Nico wants to keep this all close to remember.”

Maki had her cell phone out and Nico heard the soft click, as Maki whispered, “Yeah.”

Nico glanced at the screen. She hadn’t noticed the drifting petals or how the dappled white pink of the kimono made her look like a cascading charm of blossoms against the red of the gates as she smiled sweetly up at the bright blue sky, but Maki had caught all that. “You’re showing promise, Nishikino." Nico announced with a playful gruffness,  "You can take all of Nico’s promotional pics.” Nico pushed into Maki’s shoulder, “And write all of Nico’s hit songs.”

“Would that make your life easier or mine?”

Nico laughed, shrugging, grabbing Maki’s waist to pull her in for a bold kiss, “Ours. Happy Birthday, Maki. Spend them all with me. Just like this.”

“Well, that was my plan.” Maki tapped the ring she'd given Nico, in case Nico needed a reminder.

“Marry a smart girl, that’s Nico’s advice.”

“But I want you.”

Nico frowned, Maki laughed and claimed her own kiss, “Sorry, Nico-chan, you’re just so cute when you're aggravated.”

“Nico might decide to do the SMART thing and spend the evening comparing her career options before catching up on her sleep, alone. It might be good for Nico’s complexion.”

Maki pouted. Nico didn’t let her sulk long, It was too bright a day.

“Or maybe Nico will try out a local honeymoon spot she’s heard so much about.”

Maki stepped closer, her scent a light musk in this celestial, floral heaven, her eyes so bright Nico would swear there were flickering flames in the faceted depths, “I could help.”

“Nico would need help.” Nico licked her lips, feeling the pull that always drew her in, Maki tilting her head, a look of surprised wonder just waiting to bloom.

As their lips resealed, with crackling fireworks, their bond and their hands found each other by instinct, Nico felt as if blossoms, pink and perfect, carving in soft sweeps and swallows the shape of Maki’s lips, were bursting, tingling, through her skin. Love, this love, sakura soft in this Spring, was going to turn Nico poet. And Maki was going to get Nico fired. Nico heard footsteps approaching, someone muttering Yazawa-san.

“I have to go, Maki-chan.” Nico forced herself away, It got more difficult with every caress that brought them closer.

Maki’s smile was another sun on this bright, blessed day as she raised her camera in salute, “I’ll keep my eye on you.”

Perfect dreamfuel. 

A/N: I appreciate your patience with the delay in my other ongoing stories, but I feel like I've had a much needed reboot by revisiting this AU. Added bonus: it's fun to fanfic travel on a Nishikino Maki budget.

Happy Birthday to the gloriously grumpy, fabulously kind Nishikino Maki!!! And thank you to everyone I've met here who shares an affection for these lively and silly idols. I hope this brightens your day. Take care!

[desparikon]

Murdoc/MacGyver fluff (+ bonus Murdoc/Bozer)

I knew I wouldn’t commit to any Flufftober prompt lists, but I still wanted to post something, so here are a few ficlets/misfires/small-things-that-probably-won’t-turn-into-actual-fics.

First up is a gift for @murdocsmacattack:

Murdoc stretched out on the couch, letting his muscles relax. He already felt calmer, and he’d been in MacGyver’s house for maybe ten minutes. Great decision, extending his trip so he could force their paths to collide.

How could he be wrong when his heart’s pull to Angus is this strong? They belong together. Keeping them apart left their lives incomplete and unnecessarily painful. Why couldn’t the world understand that? He would always be part of Angus’ life. They were inseparable now, nosy friends and “The Law” be damned.

"What're you doing here?" Mac took a few hesitant steps into his living room.

The waiting, loneliness, near misses. They’d all paid off tenfold. He'd dropped in on a half-naked Angus. No shirt, just PJ pants. Murdoc always had an appreciation for the beauty that is Angus MacGyver. Perfect mind, perfect body, but he’d outdone perfection this time.

MacGyver had been working out. His abs were smoothly defined, with a visible six pack. And his arms. Oh fuck. His arms were huge. God. Murdoc needed to touch them, feel the strength. There were so many things MacGyver could do to him. Give him a hug, hold him, maybe even carry him, punch him--

Or Angus could hold him down with them. If he started a fight, Angus would be willing to use force. Let MacGyver get the upper hand, then pretend to tire himself out. Angus would think he’d won, but the real winner would be Murdoc, as Angus restrained his arms and pressed that hard body against him...

"Hey!" A blush started to spread across Mac’s cheeks despite his glare; Murdoc's ogling hadn’t been subtle at all.

Murdoc blinked. "Hmm?"

Oh. Right, yeah, he wasn’t looking at a screen this time. Angus could actually see him.

"Why're you in my house?"

"Because I wanted to see you."

He didn’t look convinced, so Murdoc changed the subject before he accidentally said something sappy in reassurance.

"I was going to ask what you've been doing with yourself, but obviously. Like damn, there’s no way to ignore your immaculately toned arms! You belong in an art museum. A perfectly sculpted marble statue!”

“I’m not all that. You say stuff like that because you’ve built a fantasy of me. Some ideal that I’m never going to live up to. Then I’ll disappoint you, so you’ll have an excuse...” Mac sighed as he pulled his arms across himself and let his gaze drop. “You should know by now what’s wrong with me. That I’m not a work of art.” Murdoc followed his line of sight down to where he was letting his fingers brush over a spot on his chest.

Ah, yes. His bullet wound scar. Lots of emotional baggage attached to that one. But this wasn’t just about that. He’d apparently caught Angus on a bad day, and while he didn’t mind being an outlet for Angus’ feelings, Murdoc was probably better at the physical side of comfort.

“Let me make you feel better.” Mac didn’t hesitate to cross the room and lay his hand in Murdoc’s offered one.

Murdoc smiled as he pressed a few kisses to the back of Mac’s hand. “Well, I think you’re perfect the way you are. You know you’ll always be the masterpiece in my art museum.”

A small smile appeared on Mac’s face. “You don’t know when to quit. I feel like you’re about to pull out a bad pick-up line, saying something sappy like that.”

“I can set a mood.” Murdoc broke out his most charming grin. “If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?”

Murdoc planned to use Mac’s laughter as distraction to pull him down onto the couch, but he reacted too quickly and pulled his hand free, grabbing Murdoc’s wrist instead. He instinctively pulled his arm back, giving Mac momentum to flatten him back into the couch and straddle him. He pulled Murdoc’s arms above his head and ran his hands along them, firmly pinning them down when Murdoc tested his hold.

"Does this set the mood?" Murdoc fought back a moan as Mac emphasized the question by squeezing his wrists.

That little smirk was going to kill him.

"Oh, definitely."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I want to take a shower with you!” Mac playfully bumped against Murdoc as they walked down the hallway to his bedroom. “I’m gonna be lonely!”

“Should’ve thought about that before you pushed me into that bottomless mud pit.”

“Mud puddle. And I didn’t push you. You just lost your balance. Suddenly.”

“After-- Nevermind. Point is, now it’s dry, and it’s stuck to my skin, and it’s itchy.” He gestured toward his bed. “Why don’t you go make yourself at home on my bed? I know how much it appeals to your inner puppy.”

Mac couldn’t deny that. There’s something irresistible about a huge bed that begs him to roll around on it while rubbing his face on the soft blanket.

The sound of the bathroom door shutting caused Mac to whip his head around. “Hey!!” He rushed to the bathroom door and tried to turn the handle, even though he knew it’d be locked. “That’s cheating!”

“It’s not my fault you’re desperate to get into my bed.”

As he turned back, he noticed that Murdoc had forgotten his towel and clothes on the bed. Judging by the muffled groaning coming through the door, Murdoc had just come to the same realization.

"Ohhhh no! Who forgot this stuff on the bed?"

“Come on, MacGyver!”

“Oh my god! Are those--” Mac went over to the bed and picked up the pants Murdoc had laid out. “The best lounge pants ever! I love these! And they’re still warm from the dryer!” He kicked off his jeans and put them on, sighing happily at how well they fit. Why were Murdoc’s clothes always so comfy?

“These are mine now. Too bad for you, the dryer’s downstairs.”

“You think I won’t walk around naked in my own house?”

"Is it me, or is it a little hot in here? I’m gonna go turn the thermostat down, like, 10 degrees, and put this stuff back in the dryer, but don’t worry, I’ll be waiting right outside the door for you!”

It’d be great. Murdoc wouldn’t be able to dry off, so he’d be dripping water everywhere, with Mac hanging off him while he tried to get dressed—because how was Mac supposed to resist a naked Murdoc?

“Angus!” Mac knew from the whine that he’d won.

“I want a hand massage.”

“What?”

“You thought I was asleep that time, but I wasn’t.”

“Fine.”

“And I get to pet your hair! So. Fluffyyy~”

“You’re killing me, Angus.”

“I’m just acting as dramatic as you do.”

Murdoc opened the bathroom door and pointed toward Mac’s legs as he moved past him to get to his bed. “Take my pants off.”

“Gladly!”

Mac tackled Murdoc from behind, knocking him to the floor. Murdoc squirmed under him, trying to pry Mac’s hands from around his waist, where they were starting to unbuckle his belt.

"That’s not what I meant, and you know it!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bozer hummed as he finished winding the last light strand around his arm, and placed it onto the driveway next to the other rolls. The sun’s heat was made comfortable by the light breeze. When the weather was nice like this, he didn't mind that he’d spent the day untangling a box of lights.

And really, the worst part of decorating was yet to come: getting up on the roof, being careful to not fall off and die while hanging the lights. It'd be worth it though. Mac and he enjoyed the aesthetic of Halloween lights, and he couldn't wait to surprise Mac with a decorated house. Plus, the soft glow of holiday lights seemed to make everyone happy.

Now that all the strands were organized, he could better see what designs had been in the box of "Mystery Assorted Halloween Lights" he'd gotten for cheap. Pumpkins, black wire bats, ghosts, friendly-looking spiders, icicle style lights with whimsical skeletons. Those were Bozer's favorite. They'd definitely be going above the front door.

As he began lining up the piles in the order that he wanted to hang them, his back made contact with something. Furrowing his brow, he turned to look. He wasn't even close to the basketball hoop…

"Hey, Bozer."

Of course. Murdoc has the uncanny ability to detect when someone's having a good day. Then he’d ruin it because how dare people enjoy life.

Bozer rolled his eyes at Murdoc's self-satisfied smile. "Can't you ever greet people like normal?"

"You bumped into me before I could yell boo."

Bozer huffed and he turned his attention back to the lights. "Look, I didn't untangle all these lights just to have you murder me five minutes after. You better be ready for me to come back as a ghost and haunt you."

"Why does everyone assume I only appear to commit murder? I'm visiting."

Bozer debated whether to admit that he was home alone. If Murdoc knew Mac was gone, he might leave since flirting with Mac is his main entertainment, but it could also convince him to get on with whatever he'd planned, which didn’t bode well for anyone except Murdoc.

"Well, you'll have to cut your visit short. Mac's busy."

"I know he's not here."

A rush of fear ran through Bozer’s veins. How long had Murdoc been watching?

He crossed his arms, hoping to feign confidence. "Then...?"

"I’m visiting you, Wilt. You looked lonely. Figured you could use some company as you make your house all festive."

“No way. You’ll decide to make things “fun” and knock the ladder over, and then I’ll fall 500 feet to my death.”

“What if I said I’d get on the roof for you?”

“...Really?”

Bozer’s excitement must’ve been contagious because Murdoc’s smile lacked malice as he shrugged. “Sure.”

“I’ll get the ladder!” Bozer headed into the garage before Murdoc changed his mind. He saw a blur of movement in his peripheral vision and turned in time to see Murdoc launch himself up from the nearby raised planter, run up the house, \then pull himself onto the roof. Murdoc lived for the dramatics, but did he have to make it look so graceful?

And why did he have to parade around on the roof like a model owning a catwalk? Tall and confident. He knew he looked good. Although, maybe Murdoc wasn’t doing it on purpose. Mac wasn’t around to impress. Surely Murdoc didn’t like Bozer enough to want to impress him, right? No, Murdoc probably just enjoyed being up high so he could pretend to be a king overlooking his kingdom.

“Halloween!!!” Bozer bounced along the front of the house, amazed that all the lights worked. They were going to look fantastic when the sun set! “See! Even you aren’t immune to Halloween spirit. It’s chaotic. Just like you.”

When he looked up, Murdoc wasn’t standing there anymore. He’d moved to the part of the roof above the driveway, apparently considering it an acceptable spot to jump down to.

“NO!” Bozer ran over, frantically waving his arms. “You can’t jump off there! You’ll splat on the concrete!”

Murdoc’s mischievous smirk made Bozer nervous, and he unconsciously took a few steps back.

“Not if I land on you.”

“You’re not using me as a landing pad! Besides, you could probably still break something!” Murdoc didn’t look deterred. Risking injury usually didn’t, but it’s not like the situation was urgent. If he was going to be stupid and not wait for Bozer to get the ladder, then he’d have no one but himself to blame when he got hurt.

...But Bozer knew he’d feel bad if Murdoc got hurt. He sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

Murdoc’s face lit up. “You’re going to let me tackle you?”

“If it’s between that and you getting hurt, then yeah.”

Murdoc studied Bozer, his head cocked slightly. After a few moments, he walked to the side of the house, and carefully lowered himself before dropping the remaining few feet. He strolled over to stand by Bozer.

“Crazy,” Bozer mumbled.

“I try!” Now that he’d gotten some distance, Murdoc could better admire the lights. “I like it.”

“You did a good job.” Bozer hesitated before throwing his arms around Murdoc, trapping him in a sideways hug. “Thanks, Murdoc.”

[xb-squaredx]

B-Squared’s Top 10 Games of 2019!

2019 was a year full to the brim of GREAT games, and as is the custom at the end of the year, people love to rank their favorites, so…I’d like to do the same! Of course my own tastes might be different from yours so if you don’t see a thing on here that you liked, chances are I didn’t like it…or more likely, there’s just too many great games out this year, and I couldn’t get to everything. I’d like to stress to that the rankings don’t really matter all that much, especially the farther down we go. Everything on here is an easy recommendation. Without any further ado…let’s take a look at my Top 10 Games of 2019~

#10 - River City Girls

I love action games, but 2D beat-em-ups never really clicked for me. They were largely before my time and I was thinking that it’d be impossible to get me into one in the current era of gaming. And then I saw Marian’s redesign for River City Girls and bought the game. What can I say? Abs are a great sales pitch. But seriously, getting Wayforward on the helm of a beloved classic franchise is already a great way to pique my interest, and while there’s SOME aspects of this game that I don’t quite gel with, it’s a fun, colorful romp through a ridiculous universe that I’d LOVE to see more of down the line. Featuring a role-reversal, with the girlfriends saving the boyfriends this time, River City Girls has gorgeous pixel art, an AMAZING pop-synth soundtrack that’s worth the price alone, and it’s a game that clearly had fun with the concept and that fun rubs off on you. From the stylish animated boss intros, to the co-op fun that can be had with a friend, everything in this game is brimming with charm. Basic NPCs have great designs in their own right, being able to recruit enemies as assists is a neat idea, and it all adds up to a fun, bite-sized adventure with a bit of depth under the hood if you’re willing to give it a look. Can the character designers get a raise for this game, please? And let Megan McDuffie just do all the songs from now on. ALL OF THEM.

#9 - Astral Chain

Most people assumed if we were going to get a Switch exclusive game by Platinum this year, it’d be Bayonetta 3 but instead Nintendo surprised us with Astral Chain, the anime cop action game we didn’t know we wanted. The game boasts great visuals and is probably the most content-rich Platinum game ever made for starters, but for me the true draw is in the combat. Playing as your police officer in tandem with an alien creature known as a Legion, this tag-team action game is unlike pretty much anything else on the market. While the game starts off very simplistic, the Legion itself moving and attacking with no input from the player, over time more and more options unlock and things get considerably more complicated. By game’s end, you’re drowning in options, and once things clicked, combat was always a treat. With plenty of enemies to practice with, Legions to master and a gigantic post-game filled with challenging encounters, I had more fun with the combat in this game than I did with a lot of other games this year. That said, I do feel that Astral Chain could have benefitted from trimming some fat or rethinking its overall structure. For being a new IP with some bold ideas, I’m willing to accept these as kinks that can hopefully be ironed out in a sequel. Oh, and add Lappy to Smash already. You know you want to, Sakurai.

#8 - BABA IS YOU

Puzzle games are hard sells for me, since I don’t like the frustration that often comes from being stuck. You feel dumb, you get embarrassed and turn the game off in shame, or at least that’s my experience. But then sometimes you get a game so clever, so…weird, that you can’t help but be sucked into it. BABA IS YOU is a block-pushing puzzle game, with the twist being that the “rules” of a particular stage are often physically present in levels and are in fact blocks that can be pushed and manipulated by the player. ROCK is PUSH, WALL is STOP, FLAG is WIN and BABA is YOU. But what if you can’t touch the flag because the wall is in the way? Well, make it so WALL is PUSH to move it aside, or maybe make it so that BABA is WIN and you become the win condition itself. As the game goes on, more modifiers and rules are slowly introduced and absorbed into your own internal logic of the game, logic that increasingly has to be broken and remade to suit your needs. It’s a very empowering experience when the solution clicks and the results can often be hilarious and surprising. This game also GOES PLACES the further you go in, and I’d rather not ruin that surprise for anyone who might be looking into the game. Definitely one of the most innovated titles I’ve played in a LONG time. BABA is GOOD.

#7 - Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid

OK, so…hear me out. Power Rangers was a franchise I was obsessed with as a kid, and while I don’t follow it anymore, there’s still some love for it flowing in my veins. So when a small, no-name studio puts out a Power Ranger fighting game that takes the simplified controls of Smash Bros. and the tag-team craziness of Marvel vs. Capcom and slaps it all together for a cool twenty bucks or so? Well you got yourself a purchase and it ended up being WAY more fun than I expected. Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid is far from the best looking fighter on the market, it’s single-player content is lacking, and it’s roster, while interesting, isn’t as big as a lot of the competition, but damn if it isn’t fun to play. With characters taken from across the franchise’s long history, from the live-action movie reboot to the comic books, each choice has been inspired and resulted in an incredibly varied cast. With no crazy inputs for special moves, combined with a tagging system that lets you cycle through your three-Ranger team quickly, the game is the best kind of chaotic fun, but true masters can command that chaos and channel it into cool combos that make you want to say “Morphinominal!” Considering it’s a budget title, it’s also received a fair amount of updates throughout the year to pad out the roster with both free and paid DLC fighters, a full story mode and improvements to the netcode and overall presentation., so if you passed on it at launch, it’s much improved now. It’s not gonna be a fighting game on everyone’s radar, but I’d rather support it than the grind-heavy slog Mortal Kombat has become…Now just hurry up and add that monster that baked the Rangers into a pizza!

#6 - New Super Lucky’s Tale

If your name isn’t Mario or Sonic, 3D platformers are effectively dead. That said, there’s been a few up-and-comers in recent years that are trying to revive the genre. Hat Kid from A Hat in Time, the duo of Yooka-Laylee, and now Lucky from the folks at Playful Studios. The cute fox has quite the history, starting from the Oculus Rift title, Lucky’s Tale, to a full-fledged platformer on the Xbox One X, Super Lucky’s Tale and now the enhanced port/reimagining New Super Lucky’s Tale on Switch. Halfway between a full-blown sequel, and enhanced edition, the game takes assets from the Xbox original game, tweaking and refining everything from visuals to controls to level layouts. The result is a game that is incredibly well-polished. It looks great, Lucky is a treat to control as he moves from jumping, burrowing and sliding around fluidly, and the variety on display keeps things interesting. We’ve got full 3D levels, 2D levels, auto-runners, and even some marble maze levels and puzzles thrown in for good measure. It’s not a hard game, but it IS incredibly fun, and well made. We don’t get many 3D platformers these days, so cherish what little comes of the genre. I hope Playful and Nintendo continue to collaborate, as they really seem more at home here. Just…maybe don’t add more words to the title of the next game, guys.

#5 - Katana Zero

There’s no nice way to say it: there’s too many pixel-based, side-scrolling indie games out there, so the ones that DO stand out deserve to be celebrated. Katana Zero has a real ‘80s flair for starters, using bright neon, TV and VCR visual effects, and a synth soundtrack to give it some real style. When a game kicks off with you slowing down time and reflecting a bullet back at an enemy with your katana, you make a good first impression! Add in the trial-and-error that is planning the perfect route through a stage, the satisfying slicing and dicing of enemies, the unique, challenging boss encounters, and you have a game that was on my radar for a while, before I finally got into it at the end of the year. Its storyline is pretty interesting too, with some slight variances in how events unfold depending on your words and actions, though it ending on a bit of a cliffhanger is a bummer. That said, when a game leaves you wanting more, there’s worse problems to have. At the very least, there’s some DLC hinted at that might be interesting, as well as the implications that this is the merely the first in a trilogy, and at this point I’m game for whatever developer Askiisoft has in store.

#4 - Luigi’s Mansion 3

The GameCube was an odd era for Nintendo, as they attempted to innovate and try new ideas rather than rely purely on their old standbys. Case-in-point, rather than launch the console with a new Mario platformer, his second-banana brother Luigi got his first starring role in what would become the Luigi’s Mansion series. While not making QUITE as big of a splash as maybe Nintendo hoped, it’s garnered a decent fanbase, and when a sequel was announced for 3DS, people ate it up. Considering the gap between the first and second games, I think many people were surprised at the relatively quick turn-around for the third installment. I was also surprised at the overall quality and how much I enjoyed digging into it. For starters, Luigi’s Mansion 3 is easily one of the better-looking Switch titles, boasting some great lighting and particle effects, with some fun physics implemented for just about everything in the massive mansion. Luigi and company are animated with a lot of expressiveness that never gets old, and the music sets the tone perfectly too. From a gameplay standpoint, the toolset Luigi gains gives him ample options to poke at every nook and cranny, with the slimy doppelganger Gooigi being the clear stand-out. Some of the floors of the Last Resort hotel that Luigi must ascend are particularly massive and intricate too, some floors feeling like Legend of Zelda-style dungeons. While not a particularly challenging game, it’s still really satisfying to poke and prod at everything in sight, sucking in all the coins, gold bars and stacks of paper bills you can handle, not to mention slamming the ghosts around like the Hulk does to Loki. There’s also multiplayer! That I…haven’t really touched but…hey! More bang for your buck, surely!

#3 – Dragon Quest XI S

I don’t consider myself a huge fan of JRPGs. Or at least that’s what I thought before I tried out the Dragon Quest XI demo on Switch. I ended up falling for the game hard and bought the full release, carrying my demo data over and not stopping until I hit credits. Despite having never touched a Dragon Quest game before, outside of an hour or so of VIII, I was overcome with this feeling of nostalgia when it came to this game. That’s because Dragon Quest is THE quintessential JRPG game, the originator of all that we take for granted today. It was nice to feel right at home with a simple, effective combat system, rather than having to watch games re-invent the wheel in an attempt to stand out from the pack (sorry Xenoblade), and the story itself, while predictable and a little basic at times, was told well and told earnestly. It really nailed the feeling of going on a grand adventure, with enough twists on the formula to keep things interesting. The turn-based combat was elementary, but always presented me with fair challenges and lots of ways to solve the encounters laid before me, with enough quality-of-life features added in to minimize grind and make things more convenient. The Switch version of Dragon Quest XI featured a bunch of new content on top of a game that had more than enough going for it, and it’s clear a lot of work was done to make this port as faithful as could be, and it stands out not just as a great port on a system known for some shoddy ones, but as a title that’s brimming with as much polish and quality to rival first-party Switch titles. Don’t ban Hero in Smash and don’t miss out on this game if you haven’t taken the plunge already!

#2 – Devil May Cry 5

The Devil May Cry franchise has had its share of ups and downs over the years. For every game that’s considered a success, you have another game that doesn’t quite measure up. For years many thought the franchise was dead in the water after the attempted reboot, DMC: Devil May Cry failed to grow its audience, but when Microsoft’s E3 2018 show revealed to us a new installment, fans were ecstatic. Devil May Cry 5 boasts crisp visuals, deep combat and trims the fat, removing the wonky platforming and puzzles of earlier games to create a high-octane action experience that ultimately exceeded fan expectations. Its storyline firmly plants Devil May Cry 4’s Nero as a main character in his own right, wraps up the story of the Sparda brothers neatly, and if this ended up being the last title in the series, I think it’s that rare ending that ends up being totally satisfying. Combat is the real draw here though, the game giving players three distinct characters to learn and master. Nero’s robotic Devil Breaker arms allow him a decent amount of variety, while having a balanced, beginner-friendly combat style for new players. Dante remains the king of variety, having more weapons than ever before combined with his signature style switching, though the game is actually designed with all these options in mind so he doesn’t end up breaking the game like he did in 4. Newcomer V ends up being a breath of fresh air, controlling up to three demonic summons at once, forcing players to really think more strategically. The music is incredible too; Nero’s own theme, Devil Trigger, has been stuck in my head since last year and I don’t see it leaving any time soon. All things considered, Devil May Cry 5 might be the best game in the franchise, and a worthy contender for game of the year personally. Now if only we had a special edition with Vergil and the ladies playable…

#1 - Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I got into the Fire Emblem series with Awakening and really liked it a lot, however Fates, the next installment, left a bad taste in my mouth. I couldn’t really get into Echoes, itself a remake of the second game in the series, and I began to wonder if this franchise was really for me. I was willing to give Three Houses a shot, but I was not prepared for the game to blow past all my expectations. Fire Emblem: Three Houses isn’t just a good game, it’s a game that’s redeemed a franchise that’s stumbled a bit in recent years, and it likely cements Fire Emblem as a core Nintendo franchise for years to come. It has class, depth and real heart...with only minor creepy or pervy elements! Making a grand return to home consoles after more than a decade on handhelds, it goes big and it ultimately paid off, on track to become the best-selling entry in the series. The school setting might seem weird at first, and I wondered how well I’d adjust to it, but being able to instruct your units and influence their growth in battle was worth the learning curve. Things are introduced slowly enough that the flow of the game becomes relatively easy to manage, if a bit time-consuming overall. With four distinct storylines you can explore, TONS of character interactions and some interesting tweaks to the strategic gameplay the series is known for, I’m confident in saying that Three Houses is well-worth a purchase for newcomers to the franchise. Divine Pulse is a great quality-of-life addition that lets you undo mistakes, rather than force you to start over from scratch, and overall the UI and layout of the game gives you enough information to make informed decisions without overwhelming you. Makes me wonder how we survived before the games showed us who enemies would target on their turns before now. Admittedly, some aspects of the progression have some issues, especially at endgame, and visually the game really is not up to par most of the time, but these end up being tiny blemishes in the long run for me. They certainly weren’t bad enough to prevent me from starting a new path the instant I finished my first route. If I have one request…just make Claude a gay option. Give the people what they want, Nintendo!

Honorable Mentions

I’d like to add on some honorable mentions here before we close things out, though most of these are things I didn’t even get a chance to play, but they certainly might have made this list. For one, Resident Evil 2 Remake seems like a high-quality reinterpretation of the survival-horror classic, but I can’t do horror so I’ll likely pass it up. It’s also for that reason that I might not get to Control but I might try jumping out of my comfort zone for that one. The confusion surrounding both The Other Worlds AND The Outer Wilds is funny, but they’re both space-based games I’d be keen on getting to at some point down the line; the former is a great Western RPG by the folks who made the GOOD Fallout games, while the latter is an interesting space-faring puzzler with some interesting mechanics I’d rather not spoil for those not more in-the-know. Indie titles Sayonara Wild Hearts and GRIS definitely caught my attention with their great visuals, and in the case of the former, its soundtrack, even if the gameplay wasn’t quite there for me, and the weird fighting-game-but-kinda-RPG that is Indivisible demands my attention sooner or later. Bloodstained is the Castlevania follow-up I keep forgetting is out, and I hear great things about Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair. The team behind the Yakuza series recently made a spin-off of sorts, Judgment that hit the West this year and while I like the Yakuza series for its quirky tone and fun combat, there’s still six other games I’d have to sift through, so going with Judgment, which is set to possibly begin a new franchise, seems like a good alternative. And how could I forget the likes of Shovel Knight as we finally receive the last expansion that’s been years in the making? I haven’t touched the King of Cards expansion yet, but I have the upmost faith in anything Yacht Club makes, so that’s surely a game of the year contender. 2019 was crazy good! Glad to close the year out with so much quality, and tons of great stuff to add to the ever-growing backlog.

Hope you had some good gaming memories made this year!

-B

[michellerps]

➤ Punch to your muse//Mack/Ryan

Ryan made a show of himself as he made his way to the ring, purposely taking his jacket off in a teasing way to bring attention to his abs. Not like they were hard to miss anyway. Ryan took a lot of pride in his chiseled body. He grinned, falsely sweet, at Mack and Alex in the ring. He was focused on them both, but his eyes kept flicking back to Mack. He’d had a long talk with Hunter and Tahlia earlier that day. Hunter had done most of the talking though. And he’d reminded Ryan of why he’d made the right choice - not that he was having doubts or anything. Hunter was just reassuring him he’d made a smart call. Especially where leaving Alex and Mack behind was concerned. He reminded Ryan that while the Authority was there to support him and have his back, Mack and Alex had only been holding him back. They had been burdens who used him and tried to kill his potential and take his spotlight. It was so clear to Ryan now. 

Tonight, he’d known they’d call him out, and here they were. Alex had demanded Ryan and the others come to the ring, wanting to fight about some post-match happenings from last week. Always so mad about something. So Ryan did go out, Luke and Stephen behind him as they got into the ring, and he had a fresh sense of righteousness and anger towards his former teammates after his talk with Hunter. 

“Hey, old friends,” he said once he grabbed a mic, his tone dripping in sarcasm. “Ya know, I thought that once I took that sledgehammer to your skull, you’d take the hint I didn’t wanna be in the ring with ya week after week, yet here ya are, still desperate to be in my spotlight.” 

“Well, you should know it takes more than fractured bones to stop me bein’ here,” Alex said, and Ryan almost nodded. He did know. He was resilient - almost to a fault. “I wanna know. What do they have on you?” Ryan furrowed his brow, glancing at Luke in mutual confusion.

“What do they have on me?” he repeated, eyes narrowed at Alex. “No one has anything on me. I know it’s hard for someone like you to understand, because you’ve taken one too many shots to the head, but I’m making smart decisions now. I’m not allowing myself to be burdened any further. Because that’s all you were. A burden. It’s all you were.” His eyes were on Mack now, meeting hers, his gaze hard and empty. 

The crowd gets louder after that, but Mack said nothing. Though he’s still looking at her, he can see Alex out of the corner of his eye, looking down at Mack. Concerned, almost. Protective. Ryan knew them both, knew their dynamic well enough he knew what those little looks meant. Mack leaned back slightly, raising her brows, daring him to go on. He knew he should stop, just from seeing that look from Alex, but he went on. “Why are you even out here?” he asked her. “Wasn’t it Alex who wanted me out here? This isn’t your fight.” He paused, then smirked. “Ah, I get it. I see. Mackenzie, look, you have to get over me. I’ve moved on. You should, too.” He looked at Alex again and laughed. “Not with him, I advise you. We know he can’t keep a girl, right?” He grinned at Mack, almost like he was expecting her to laugh with him at Alex’s expense like old times, playfully picking on each other. But he knew better. 

That earned him a scoff and an eye roll from his ex, but Alex had more to say. 

“She’s here ‘cause unlike you, she understands what loyalty means, you arrogant piece of crap,” Alex snapped at him. 

Ryan, still standing in front of Mack, glanced over at him. His grin faded for a split second before widening once more. While his eyes were on Alex, his words were still directed at Mack. “Ohhh, I think I stuck a nerve,” he chuckled. “I guess break ups are a touchy subject for him.” He turned to look at Mack again. “Do you remember when we broke up?” he asked her, knowing full well she did. “About two weeks before the most freeing night of my life?” He was referring to the night he turned on them and took a sledgehammer to Alex, and Tahlia came down to lay into Mack. “I know what you thought after that night. You thought, ‘oh, he broke up with me because this was the plan all along’. You thought I broke up with you because I was already working with Hunter and them. That probably eased you a little, huh? It wasn’t you. It was me. I broke up with you because I’m selfish and cruel and was thinking of the Authority, and already knew I was ditching you and Alex. But that’s not the case.” 

He shook his head, even though that wasn’t far from the truth. He had been in talks with Hunter at that point, and he knew that if he joined with them, he wanted Mack to at least have some closure romantically. Their spark was already dimming, at least for him, and it just made sense to end things civilly with her. Not that that mattered now. 

“I dumped you before anything was set in stone,” he told her, stepping closer to her. “I didn’t dump you because I wanted better opportunities. Or because I was planning on cutting ties with Alex. I dumped you without the influence of anyone or anything else, Mack. I dumped you because I genuinely couldn’t wait to get rid of you.”  

Alex reacted before Mack did, lunging for him and nearly making Ryan flinch, but Mack stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. She stepped between them, turning her back to Ryan, and he could just barely make out her quiet voice telling Alex, “It’s okay.” 

Ryan grinned, feeling smug and like he’d just won that fight, until Mack quite literally punched the grin off his face. It came out of nowhere, Mack spinning around and connecting her fist with his jaw. The microphone dropped to the mat and she launched herself at him, continuing to lay punch after punch into him. He felt rather than saw Stephen go to grab Mack off of him, and then heard bodies hitting the floor. Alex must have leveled Ryan’s back-up. Great. He finally gathered some sense back and was able to push her off of him and scurry backwards. Luke had also stood up as Alex pummeled Stephen, and Ryan gave him a shove in front of him, letting Mack land a few shots on him. 

He rolled out of the ring at that point, his jaw and ego both a little bruised, and Luke and Stephen were quick to follow after escaping Alex. Ryan was seething, but he had no regrets. He had a lot to get off his chest, and that was only half of it.

[the-firebird69]

huge huge ships tons of them massive and he threatened lot and yes he saw with what over and over and finally out he went...but this is it we say it you are dead lot your lot in life chosen and awaits you at that spot and yes outside LA and that is where bja has his equipment and mines and holds and you go and you will die..all ofyours.  after the two mad max episodes where yoiiu shit and piss all over the place.  are rude pedestrian and juvinile tons dont want it.die like paupers with paupers no.  and push you out hard.  now too.  f off ok it means that... and it does your so vile..lol.  and he said im offshore youran saw and ran out adn started well tried to start it.. nope.  and shot out after lost him.  too bad.  no fly car there. lol.  came back head hung called all we go now. and hit it...and they are ouit lots group and tons more of his now and all the macs see you pretty boy ours you out or else.  and he said crush us we dont care. your so mean to us and now him. sorta. you idiots ok.  he is in and has a character.  and hangs out with bg.  and it is hell he laughs ok nothing new.  stronger dangerous bullet resistant.  comes up with jokes out of nowhere is prophetic and poor.  damnit lol this is too  much fun his name is bob no but fun...and they race there you idiot kknock him out and nah  i wont try too dangerous here.  no food and no water...lets see how this goes this is hell he wants his Opal back no he is ther to protect it..when it arrives. wow.  by whom. we see bja the nomad wanderer. he sings it now.  and is a spaz.  fun. ok.   someone brought generic beer and we drink it is good and cold.  he did lol. he laughs uncontrollably.  now we seek it too.  who.and such.  adn then oh.  garth is around soemwhere and we party ok..big bon fire and such lol. bg says. huge ships depart and massive too....and we seek stashes and such for food.  need it. and plan too.  tons of us here no but enough to be a prob if no food. and we look. no. cant eat taht or that..too tough.  lol.  he is mean ok mean.  and we see it.  glares at us.   and then this dont try breaking the silence. he hisses it.  and mroe.  tons arrive shortly i say and he says nope saw it already your locked in here with me. and my Opals and her.  she is here you see her there runnning the show.  and  tons stop oh no. and it is on they say...we stop them could be Azog and Bolge bg says no but lies alot an we arrive shortly have tons of ships huge ones and others hault us and it s not china no it is japan and huge vessels we parlee...it is calm...nope shots fired it is war...we war mac says and there are so many i cant count ab out a trillion boats i see and we have a count.  10 nonillion and it is large not huge...seen though..and Thor says and Freya about 8 nonillion nonillion on the way the excuse they wage war on  us today... and it is a vast number and a vast fleet, so huge i almost choked...and we see him..and acombined fleet is launched from forg somewhat combined...they equal the empire and in space too..huge war.  and they are in a post apocalyptical setting..with us.  we have several there. more in now.  tons see it oh they are doomed they fight and hold now and we sit. wait. look for stashes..we knw where and see why...and take them to some, bg in front only...and hand it out...then lock it...fights over it later...tons of them. and we have a lot of them no so it will be hard for days... Hera Zues we drop them if need by and use him garth Thor  and we can get you it garth so sit tight Freya  will do over garth no problem Olympus

[cardamomoespeciado]

Violence of Xi Jinping will not stop ... Senkaku Yaba too situation occurs in the "next" invasion

7/24 (Friday) 8:01

Modern business

Incredible protest from China

Violence of Xi Jinping will not stop ... Senkaku Yaba too situation occurs in the "next" invasion

Photo: Contemporary business

　The invasion of the waters around the Senkaku Islands by a Chinese official ship became 100 consecutive days on July 22nd. China has also protested to Japan about the operation of Japanese fishing boats, saying, "It is an invasion of China's territorial waters." It's a silly story, but I can't downplay it. The next reason is that there is a high possibility of aiming for "capture of a Japanese fishing boat."

In last week's column, I introduced Mr. Katsutoshi Kono, former Chief of Staff of the Self-Defense Forces Joint Staff (https://gendai.ismedia.jp/articles/-/74151). Mr. Kono appeared on the YouTube program "NEWS Channel" of Yukihiro Hasegawa and Yoichi Takahashi on July 14th, "In order to show to the United States that "they control the Senkaku Islands," Has been repeatedly invaded." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdOgU28jGfc & list=PL6vmlngLTe5BJ1p8szg8TDi48pBP-PRxu & index=2).

　The problem of "who is exercising powers of the Senkaku Islands" is not just a language controversy. It is a problem directly linked to military action. This is because Article 5 of the Japan-US Security Treaty stipulates that "Japan and the United States will jointly act on an armed attack in an area under Japanese administration."

According to Article 5, if the United States judges that "the Senkaku is not under the administration of Japan", the story is "If the Chinese move to seize the Senkaku, the US military will not move." That is why China is dispatching official vessels to make an established fact that "we are the ones who are in control of the Senkaku."

▽ Protests against the invasion of territorial waters against Japan are also based on such a strategy. "We protested against Japan," he said to the United States. It's a matter of course that Japan should kick off the protests, but this is not the end of the story. There is always a "next move."

What will happen next?

Next, Japanese fishing boats will be captured

Given that the purpose of China is to seize the Senkaku, it may be thought that "the next time we may aim for the landing of the Senkaku." Of course, there is plenty of potential. However, colleague columnist Yoichi Takahashi pointed out in the previous program, "There may be a Japanese fishing boat captured before the Senkaku landing."

　I think this was truly "Mr. Takahashi's eyes".

The reason is that the Chinese protest introduced at the beginning was revealed in the first report distributed by Kyodo News on July 19th. Takahashi pointed out on the YouTube program on the 14th, five days before that. Takahashi skipped the Chinese protests and predicted the conclusion leading to the capture.

　I also proclaimed that “the next Japanese fishing boat will be captured” because of the protest. If China protests that "the operation of Japanese fishing boats in the waters around the Senkaku region is an invasion of territorial waters" and Japan does not accept it, it will be natural and consistent for them to "control the invasion of territorial waters" next. ..

Rather, if they do not crack down on them, they will not be in good condition. To tell the truth, the order of truth will be reversed. From the beginning, they set the goal of "capturing Japanese fishing boats" and protested to the Japanese government as a preliminary step. You should see that. The protest is a "sign of capture".

Mr. Takahashi said in the July 21st version of the same YouTube program that I said, "When China protests the invasion of the Japanese fishing boats' territorial waters, the next is, as you said last time,'capture the fishing boats'. "Of course", he said (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O60bhMl4oaI & list=PL6vmlngLTe5BJ1p8szg8TDi48pBP-PRxu).

As pointed out in a column released on July 3, China chased a Vietnamese fishing boat in the South China Sea on April 2, and then collided and sunk it (https://gendai.ismedia.jp/articles/-/73776 ). Even if it is not sunk, trapping has been repeated many times. We must see that "everything that happens in the South China Sea also happens in the East China Sea," (Mr. Takahashi).

Chief Cabinet Secretary Yoshii Kan said at a press conference on the 22nd, "I am extremely serious about the situation around Senkaku. I will cooperate with related ministries and agencies and make every effort to conduct vigilance. I want to respond with a resolute attitude." Especially, you should be vigilant enough to "capture a fishing boat".

Why the Japanese government can't be bullish

Violence of Xi Jinping will not stop ... Senkaku Yaba too situation occurs in the "next" invasion

One of the candidates for "Post Abe", Chief Cabinet Secretary Yoshii Kan

Now, the main subject is from here.

Now, China should be keeping an eye on the movements of Japan and the United States. What on earth are they paying attention to? Below, let us consider China.

First, Japan. The Abe administration is currently full of new coronavirus problems. The opposition party and the media have been pursuing the government's missteps every day, as the problem of accelerating the launch of the "Go To Travel" campaign, which cuts the cost of domestic travel to virtually half, was delayed on July 22.

With this, the already-declining cabinet approval rating may further decrease. In addition, there is the post-Abe problem. In addition to Prime Minister Abe, the administration's top executives, and the Liberal Democratic Party influential people are full of questions about how to softly land the post-Abe issue in addition to corona response.

How will the Abe administration come out if China captures a Japanese fishing boat? According to the universal power maintenance theory of "making an enemy outside and diverting the difficulties inside," there is a possibility of responding on a hard line. However, if you are prepared for skirmishes, you may think that "it is not".

Suddenly the collision is too radical. Even though Japan has been a government-owned island, it has not even dispatched government officials to the Senkaku Islands. The Abe administration has no courage or rationality to suddenly use hard-line means. It would be natural to read that for China.

There is also a situation in which the Japanese media and public opinion “extremely dislike conflict and conflict”. Many media outlets regard the Chinese problem as if it were another person's affairs, such as "How Japan should deal with the intensifying US-China conflict." There is a definitive lack of perception that "the territory is being invaded by China."

　For example, at the TV Asahi news station, commentators commented on the intensifying US-China confrontation, such as "Japan should deal with "quiet diplomacy"." The moment I heard this, I changed channels and would like to say "don't respond because it gets hot."

But "Modern Business", "Trump President Toru Machida is July 21, published a column, of course, it's clear that even Xi Jinping, Jintao of China is a considerable stake leaders. That both Fumikoeru the last clear distinction We have to keep an eye on it so that there is no such thing" (https://gendai.ismedia.jp/articles/-/74080).

　Japan says that it should watch the conflicting US and China instead of watching the Chinese invasion. You can't feel the sense of ownership. China would think, "Please keep monitoring Japan as it is." There are even newspapers that did not write about 100 days of invasion of the Senkaku.

When the media is in this condition, it is difficult for the Abe administration to raise his fist and respond. "What is upset, isn't it China's usual behavior?" It is treated as a transgressive face, and if the poor policy is tough, it may even criticize the government.

The United States is also wary of China

Violence of Xi Jinping will not stop ... Senkaku Yaba too situation occurs in the "next" invasion

Mark Esper US Secretary of Defense

The most important thing for China is the United States.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said in a statement on July 8 "China has fueled territorial disputes from the Himalayas to the Vietnam's Exclusive Economic Zone (EEZ) to the Senkaku Islands. The world has left their bullies. And don't let it continue'' (https://www.state.gov/secretary-michael-r-pompeo-at-a-press-availability-8/).

Secretary of Defense Marc Esper also said at the press conference yesterday that the PLA invaded the waters around the Senkaku Islands under Japanese administration, increasing the number of times, and he was wary of China's activities around the Senkaku. (Https://www.defense.gov/Explore/News/Article/Article/2280887/esper-discusses-importance-of-indo-pacific-strategy/).

However, the Donald Trump administration is currently investing military resources in the South China Sea, which dispatched two aircraft carriers. If China then thinks, it would be rational to postpone the South China Sea and start with the thin East China Sea, especially the Senkaku Islands.

In any case, Japan cannot move without America moving. This is a phase where not only strengthening vigilance but also taking a further step, proactive response is required.

----------

The second wave of the new coronavirus has arrived. The latest book, "What the New Corona Is-Can Japan Win the Vaccine War??" (Business), which talked with Professor Ryuichi Morishita of Osaka University Graduate School, has plenty of "real stories" about vaccines. Please read it.

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[isaiahrippinus]

Is the Summer of Hard Tea Brewing?

What will be the next hard seltzer? That is the multi-billion-dollar question for alcohol producers.

It’s hard to imagine now, but if you’d posed that question this time last year, many in the alcohol industry might have assumed you were asking for the next flash-in-the-pan “innovation.” Now, with sales still surging, it’s overwhelmingly clear hard seltzer is no fad. As the wave of its enormous success crescendos, multiple producers are betting on the next competitor: hard tea, a ready-to-drink spiked beverage flavored in still and sparkling form.

Hard tea is not a nascent subcategory by any means. According to Nielsen data, hard tea sales reached $436 million in 2019, and they’re continuing to grow this year. In the 18 weeks leading up to July 4, hard tea sales surpassed $200 million — almost half of 2019’s total.

This remarkable growth has almost entirely come from two market leaders, Boston Beer’s Twisted Tea (launched in 2001) and Molson Coors’ Arnold Palmer Spiked (launched in 2018), but neither of these brands align with the formula that’s seen so many flock to hard seltzer. Each contains more than 200 calories and over 20 grams of sugar per 12-ounce serving; that’s double the amount of calories of the average hard seltzer, and between 10 to 20 times more sugar.

Many alcohol brands see this as an opportunity — a “better-for-you” beverage in the already-established hard tea subcategory that mimics hard seltzer’s low-calorie, low-sugar formula. With multiple such products already released this year, could this signal that the summer of hard tea is brewing?

Hard Tea: A Hard Seltzer Alternative?

Producers wishing to appeal to health-conscious drinkers currently have two options: compete in the now-saturated hard seltzer space or differentiate. With well-established brands like White Claw and Truly already dominating hard seltzer sales, many producers may feel that offering a hard seltzer alternative is the easier route to success.

“When seltzer became this big story and everybody said ‘the future of alcohol is seltzer,’ we felt as though we were seeing something different,” says Daniel Goodfellow, chief marketing officer at Crook & Marker. “We thought that seltzer was just getting the party started, demonstrating there is such a thing as an alcoholic beverage that consumers can drink and not feel guilty about. But as in every other beverage category, flavor is what’s going to pull them through.”

Goodfellow makes an important point: For regular drinkers of products like LaCroix, hard seltzer’s flavor profile is a familiar one. But for others seeking low-calorie booze, subtle hints of fruit may not be sufficient on the flavor front. If hard seltzer is the alternative to beer, then hard tea is an alternative to hard seltzer.

Crook & Marker currently offers five lines of low-calorie alcoholic beverages brewed from ancient grains, such as quinoa and amaranth. One of its lines, Spiked & Sparkling, closely resembles a hard seltzer (and bears striking resemblance to Truly’s original brand name). The other four — Spiked Tea, Spiked Lemonade, Spiked Coconut, and Spiked Soda — have bolder flavor profiles. The brand’s teas, lemonades, and coconut beverages have been the main drivers of the company’s 300-percent retail sales growth over the past year, Goodfellow says.

Other brands are betting on bolder flavor profiles as a hard seltzer alternative as well. In February, AB-InBev’s craft beer unit, Brewers Collective, launched a new line of products called LQD. Described as Brewers Collective’s “first craft beyond beer platform,” LQD debuted with four spiked products: two flavored green teas, a hibiscus lemonade, and an agave limeade.

Brewers Collective devised these products after in-house market research showed consumers were seeking hard seltzer alternatives at its on-premise locations. “Across the country, consumers were coming into our craft breweries and brewpubs and asking for seltzers, but also asking for different types of beverages,” says Lindsey Willey, director of beyond beer for Brewers Collective. LQD’s teas, lemonade, and limeade have low-calorie, low-alcohol qualities akin to hard seltzers, but offer “a more flavorful or fruit-forward option,” she says.

In June, Rhode Island’s Narragansett Beer launched its own hard tea in collaboration with local lemonade brand Del’s. Narragansett’s CEO, Mark Hellendrung, says the decision to launch a hard tea rather than a hard seltzer came from not wanting to become another “me too” offering in the seltzer space. Hellendrung describes the initial consumer response to Del’s Rhode Island Hard Tea as exceeding the company’s “wildest expectations.” (Narragansett’s Del’s Shandy, a half-lemonade, half-beer is also made with the local brand.)

“Right now, because it’s doing so well, we’ve had to really restrict where we’ve shipped it,” Hellendrung says. (Del’s Rhode Island Hard Tea is currently distributed in nine states, with more markets soon to follow.) “We’re producing a lot more in August and September and we’ll be able to release it full-throttle in September,” Hellendrung adds.

Learning from Non-Alcoholic Beverage Preferences

Tea is not the only non-alcoholic beverage to receive the spiked treatment in the wake of hard seltzer’s success. Many producers have also turned to lemonade and limeade (such as Crook & Marker and LQD), while others are instead adding ABV to coffee and kombucha.

A skeptical take on this trend could be that these brands are hoping for success by virtue of the now- recognizable “hard” moniker. But many producers say there’s strong evidence in the non-alcoholic RTD space to suggest that tea is a particularly potent candidate for spiking.

In July, Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) introduced a 100-calorie, peach-flavored hard tea following in-depth consumer research and over a year of development. “The non-alcoholic iced tea category gives us some clues about consumer preferences,” says John Newhouse, PBR’s brand manager. “In our research, we learned that over one-third of millennial and Gen Z consumers would be interested in trying a sparkling tea drink, especially if it contained a lot less sugar than the best-selling teas on the market.”

Newhouse continues: “The hard seltzer segment is obviously booming and here to stay, so better-for-you alcoholic drinks are proving to have a lasting place in the market. Compiling all of these data points gave us confidence that our lower-calorie, bubbly hard tea could gain traction.”

New York-based entrepreneur Kyle Cooke was also inspired by the popularity of non-alcoholic iced teas when starting his hard tea and spritz cocktail brand Loverboy in 2018. “For me, there’s a huge opportunity for hard tea because if you go into a supermarket or a grocery store, there’s an entire cooler dedicated to ready-to-drink, non-alcoholic tea products,” Cooke says. In contrast, when you browse the alcohol section, there’s “basically one [tea] option,” he adds.

“Twisted Tea has 93 percent of the hard tea market share and it’s gone uncontested for 20 years,” Cooke says. Not only does this prove that tea can succeed as an alcoholic beverage, it also offers a previously untapped opportunity.

Given Twisted Tea’s high-calorie and high-sugar formula, it’s safe to assume that it’s not traditional hard seltzer drinkers who have driven hard tea’s growth in recent years. But with an increasing number of low-calorie options in the segment, such as Loverboy, LQD, and PBR, hard seltzer drinkers could be tempted to switch to hard tea. And with consumers’ healthy perception of tea, a spiked version could perhaps be even better placed than hard seltzer to succeed as a “better-for-you” alcoholic beverage. “That was really the genesis of Loverboy,” Cooke says.

The Future of the “Beyond Beer” Space

The combination of hard tea’s stronger flavors, the popularity of non-alcoholic iced teas, and our perception of tea as “healthy,” make it a compelling contender to compete with hard seltzer. But with the former’s head start in the market, can hard tea ever approach the status of spiked sparkling water, or incite the cultural phenomenon that spawned viral memes and YouTube videos? Some producers say, yes.

“Sparkling water is a $22 billion category right now. Iced tea is a $24.5 billion category,” says Jennie Rips, co-founder of Owl’s Brew, a New York-based company partially funded by AB InBev’s venture capital arm, ZX Ventures. Owl’s Brew offers low-calorie canned “boozy teas,” as well as tea-based, non-alcoholic cocktail mixers. “If you look at that, and look at where spiked seltzer is now, I believe [hard tea] will be a major, major category,” she says.

Owl’s Brew co-founder Maria Littlefield adds, “Over the years, we’ve seen a lot of trends that started non-alc transfer over to alcohol four or five years later.”

For Crook & Marker’s Goodfellow, the question is not whether hard tea can compete with hard seltzer, but whether a range of “better-for-you” spiked drinks — seltzer, tea, lemonade, and low-alcohol canned cocktails — can one day compete as a combined category.

“I truly believe that when the history books are written, 2019 will be the year that everybody woke up to the emerging ‘better-for-you’ alcohol category,” he says. “But 2020 [will be] the beginning of its true maturation into a multifaceted category. Just like any mature category, such as beer, there’s room for everyone in that scenario.”

The article Is the Summer of Hard Tea Brewing? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/hard-tea-trend-summer-2020/ source https://vinology1.tumblr.com/post/624179164374794240

[privateplates4u]

Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE: 4th Place – 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car

We’ve all heard about the bad old days at GM when no car was allowed to challenge the Corvette’s performance supremacy. Those days are long dead. Team Camaro has applied its 1LE handling philosophy to the monstrously powerful ZL1, and the resulting monster is the most track-capable road car GM has ever sold. Up front, the standard Camaro ZL1’s 6.2-liter supercharged V-8 still makes 650 horsepower and 650 lb-ft of torque because frankly it didn’t need to make more. Being an enthusiast’s car, a six-speed manual is the only transmission on offer. An electronically controlled differential rounds out the powertrain. Out at the corners, magnetic shocks are replaced with Multimatic spool-valve shocks, and like the rest of the suspension, they’re hard-mounted with metal bushings, not rubber. The ride height, front camber, and rear anti-roll bar are all manually adjustable. A bigger grille improves cooling, and dive planes on the front corners and a massive rear wing provide downforce across the car. Equally massive carbon-ceramic brakes do the stopping. It’s Best Driver’s Car week! Don’t miss the incredible story of how we chose the 2017 Best Driver’s Car right here, and stay tuned for the World’s Greatest Drag Race, coming soon. Put it all together, nail the launch, and you’ll see 60 mph in 3.6 seconds and an 11.7-second quarter mile at 123 mph flat. Going the other way, the 3,837-pound ZL1 1LE will stop from 60 mph in a scant 91 feet. Put it on a skidpad, and it’ll pull 1.11 average g. Fling it at the figure eight, and you’ll get a 23.0-second lap at 0.93 average g. We Say “This car needs five-point harnesses because the dampers are so unforgiving. It’s true this 1LE has incredible grip; however, the compression damping is way too harsh while the rebound damping is just right. I’m not sure where they tuned this, but it clearly did not have a lot of bumps and jumps. The steering is freakishly quick. It took me three corners to calm my hands down, so I didn’t steer into and across the apex. The power seems to be well matched for the chassis, for a change, unlike the Z06. Third gear seemed very tractable and had a wide bandwidth. This feels like what I imagine a ’60s-’70s Trans Am car would be like.” – Chris Walton “I know Jonny loves this car, but I just can’t warm to it. Probably because I’ve lost all my fillings, and my kidneys are bruised. With the exception of the best roads, the ride in this Camaro is punishing. I’ve encountered smoother paint mixers. I had to remind myself that based on the numbers, this car is fantastic. Endless grip, fade-free brakes, abundant horsepower. But the thing is, I didn’t care. The bouncing was so bad that I found myself reacting to that instead of focusing on sheer act of driving. The Camaro might be brilliant on the track, but I wouldn’t want to drive this to get there.” – Derek Powell Read about other 2017 Best Driver’s Car contenders: Ferrari 488 GTB Porsche 911 Turbo S Porsche 718 Cayman S Lexus LC 500 Mercedes-AMG GT R Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport Aston Martin DB11 Nissan GT-R NISMO Mazda MX-5 Miata RF McLaren 570GT “Simply tremendous … tremendous grip, tremendous brakes, and tremendous power. And how about that third pedal? This added that special connection to the vehicle that the Ferrari or 911 Turbo simply can’t match, which is why I ranked it higher than those two fancy (and expensive) machines. With the Camaro, I felt like I—not some fancy software—had a big part in conquering 198.” – Erick Ayapana “That’s a driver’s car! When the aero and the tires shake hands, it’s a moment of revelation. You are suddenly driving a hard-mounted race car. Unreal. So much power, so much control, so much stopping ability. An absolute monster of a machine. This is an uncaged race car. Being able to actually use all 650 horsepower and 650 lb-ft of torque is mind-boggling. I’m not sure how this car isn’t a podium finisher.” – Jonny Lieberman “Long name, amazing results! Everywhere a competitor put a wheel in the air, the Camaro stuck like glue. There’s a lot of vertical movement in the cabin, but the car just sticks no matter what. It never jumps sideways a foot when it hits a mid-corner bump, never moves around laterally at all. Even when it feels like you’ve carried too much speed into a corner, it sticks. I can’t count how many times I put the throttle flat on the floor. In a 650-hp car this stiff on this bumpy road, that’s seriously impressive. The eLSD takes a little getting used to. If you start to feed in power mid-corner, the car turns in more as the diff gets to work. Steer with the throttle? Yes, please! “Brakes have huge stopping power and great pedal feel. Squeeze, don’t stomp, and get exactly what you want. “I thought this car would be too stiff for the road, and that’s coming from someone who drove the Z/28 for a year. I was wrong.” – Scott Evans Randy Says “It was not perfectly balanced for me. I’m really trying to smear a little lipstick from the perfection here, but it would go from a little teeny bit of understeer, which was perfect, to a little bit of oversteer, which is almost perfect. But when we put it in the context of what it is, which is a front-engine rear-drive car with 650 horsepower, the traction was incredible. It put down power extremely well, I could drive it with everything turned off, and for me, that’s just so much more satisfying. “The dampers felt great. Basically I never thought about it. Which means nothing came into my awareness as being, oh, this is too stiff. Or that is too soft. I don’t sense roll. So when I just turn for the corner, it just lies over there. That’s not good terminology because I don’t feel it roll. I’m sure it does, but I don’t feel it. Which means it’s got good damping. When I’m down in the corner, in the middle, I still have a steering response, and I can still tighten it up. “It was happy coming out of the corkscrew. That’s always hard in a powerful rear drive car. Put the power down. When you’re in a low gear and it’s a hard right. It wants to power oversteer. But this one was pretty damn good. Especially at that power level. See, we have to keep this in context. “The car generated a tremendous amount of braking force, but for the first time in any high-performance Camaro, it had a long pedal. I was pumping it a little bit, and I remember going up that Corkscrew thinking, ‘Jesus and Heaven above, let these work.’ And boy did they work. It stopped so well. It was very, very pleasing and satisfying how late I could brake in this—what is a relatively heavy car. It’s light for a Camaro, a supercharged Camaro. A bad driver could crash it immediately, but for a reasonable guy who can drive really fast and doesn’t need stability control, this is the ultimate pony car right now.” 2018 Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 (1LE) POWERTRAIN/CHASSIS DRIVETRAIN LAYOUT Front-engine, RWD ENGINE TYPE Supercharged 90-deg V-8, alum block/heads VALVETRAIN OHV, 2 valves/cyl DISPLACEMENT 376.1 cu in/6,162 cc COMPRESSION RATIO 10.0:1 POWER (SAE NET) 650 hp @ 6,400 rpm* TORQUE (SAE NET) 650 lb-ft @ 3,600 rpm* REDLINE 6,500 rpm WEIGHT TO POWER 5.9 lb/hp TRANSMISSION 6-speed manual AXLE/FINAL-DRIVE RATIO 3.73:1/2.00:1 SUSPENSION, FRONT; REAR Struts, coil springs, anti-roll bar; multilink, coil springs, adj anti-roll bar STEERING RATIO 11.1:1-15.1:1 TURNS LOCK-TO-LOCK 2.3 BRAKES, F; R 15.4-in vented, 2-pc disc; 14.4-in vented, 2-pc disc, ABS WHEELS 11.0 x 20-in; 12.0 x 20-in, forged aluminum TIRES 305/30R19 98Y; 325/30R19 101Y Goodyear Eagle F1 Supercar 3R (Tread 100) DIMENSIONS WHEELBASE 110.7 in TRACK, F/R 64.1/62.8 in LENGTH x WIDTH x HEIGHT 188.3 x 74.7 x 52.0 in TURNING CIRCLE 38.7 ft CURB WEIGHT 3,837 lb WEIGHT DIST, F/R 55/45% SEATING CAPACITY 4 HEADROOM, F/R 38.5/33.5 in LEGROOM, F/R 43.9/29.9 in SHOULDER ROOM, F/R 55.0/50.4 in CARGO VOLUME 9.1 cu ft TEST DATA ACCELERATION TO MPH 0-30 1.6 sec 0-40 2.2 0-50 2.8 0-60 3.6 0-70 4.4 0-80 5.3 0-90 6.6 0-100 7.9 0-100-0 11.3 PASSING, 45-65 MPH 1.5 QUARTER MILE 11.7 sec @ 123.0 mph BRAKING, 60-0 MPH 91 ft LATERAL ACCELERATION 1.11 g (avg) MT FIGURE EIGHT 23.0 sec @ 0.93 g (avg) 2.2-MI ROAD COURSE LAP 1:34.30 sec TOP-GEAR REVS @ 60 MPH 1,900 rpm CONSUMER INFO BASE PRICE $71,295 PRICE AS TESTED $73,090 STABILITY/TRACTION CONTROL Yes/Yes AIRBAGS 8: Dual front, front side, f/r curtain, front knee BASIC WARRANTY 3 yrs/36,000 miles POWERTRAIN WARRANTY 5 yrs/60,000 miles ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE 5 yrs/60,000 miles FUEL CAPACITY 19.0 gal EPA CITY/HWY/COMB ECON 14/20/16 mpg ENERGY CONS, CITY/HWY 241/169 kW-hrs/100 miles CO2 EMISSIONS, COMB 1.20 lb/mile RECOMMENDED FUEL Unleaded premium The post Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 1LE: 4th Place – 2017 Motor Trend Best Driver’s Car appeared first on Motor Trend.

http://www.motortrend.com/news/chevrolet-camaro-zl1-1le-4th-place-2017-best-drivers-car/

[isisaacdead]

Afterbirth + is out!

DISCLAIMER 1: i have this post set to auto update at Jan 3rd 12pm pst, our goal launch time for Afterbirth+. there is a chance the game may not be for sale for another hour or 2.. just wait it out and it will appear :)

Afterbirth+ is now out on steam! 

http://store.steampowered.com/app/570660/

-You will need the Afterbirth expansion to play it.

-If you own Afterbirth, AB+ will be discounted to $6.66 till the 10th of jan. 

-AB+ is an expansion to The Binding of Isaac that adds new items, enemies, unlockables, achievements, endings and a new playable character as well as full access to mod tools and user made mods.

-AB+ is coming to consoles in spring this year. 

GET IT NOW! 

DISCLAIMER 2: like any launch there is a good chance that we missed some bugs and players may experience some issues that our testers might have missed. the team will be working hard for the week of launch on fixing all major bugs or other issues. i also reserve the right to nerf! (but only if said item is very easily exploited). all other updates will happen when monthly booster packs go live.

be gentle! we are doing our best here. 

xoxo

-eggy

Afterbirth+ will close the book on a 5 year journey that started out as a 3 month flash project i made with a friend (florian himsl) for fun. we had no real intentions to sell it, it was originally going to just be a sponsored flash game due to the fact i was worried people wouldn't be that into it, and we only spent a few months on it. 

i never had any idea Isaac would become what it has, this little monster has consumed my brain for what feels like a lifetime and im at a point now where i can be happy with officially finishing the story and calling the Isaac project done. 

but as sad as that may sound to some, this is really just the start of things to come. AB+ started as just a mini DLC of mod tools, but slowly ballooned into another game expansion with a bunch more added content... but still at its core the whole point of AB+ was to hand the game off to the community, who at this point knows the game better than i do.

this new year will be a changing of the guard so to speak, we will be giving over Isaac future to the fans and supporting the mod community as much as possible.

this year will be a year of the monthly “Booster pack”!

as you may have assumed, using mods wont allow for you to unlock new game content / get achievements. but we have come up with a way to bring the best mod content officially into the game via mini monthly updates to AB+ or “booster packs”.

(ill probably also join in the fun a little.. honestly i came up with a few neat item ideas during the last week of crunch that i need to see in game.. so maybe this whole “letting go” thing is a lie!)

so all you out there will get to experience a year of free user made content officially added, and all you modders will get a chance brag to the internet about your amazing design skills and unlock the biggest and most sought after achievement in Isaac to date, the “MY WORK IS OFFICIALLY IN ISAAC” achievement!

 SO YOU WANT YOUR MOD OFFICIALLY IN THE GAME!?

so when making mods you can honestly do whatever the hell you wanna do, so dont let this post sway you from making a totally nutty mod with guns and Jesus and copy-written material that will put you in jail! but the following is a list of basic guidelines when it comes to content im looking for to be added in this years monthly “booster packs”.

Items-

theme tips: 

this can be a difficult one due to the fact that most of the items in Isaac are based on personal items/themes from my own childhood but the best way to stay on theme when it comes to items visual design is to stick with these simple and effective Isaac tropes.

-gross items (bodily functions / liquids / solids / wounds)

-christian items (artifacts / rituals / etc)

-pagan / satanic / occultic items (artifacts / rituals / etc)

and the minor Isaac themes like fetal development, disease, dnd and general 80s nerd bullshit.

design tips:

Isaac has a few hard archetypes when it comes to items, its best to design around these specific groups.

-HP driven items: (items that use life as resource / contact damage stuff / items that like it when you take damage)

-Defensive items: (items that protect you / raise your hp / reduce damage)

-Tear mods: (items that change your tear behavior / add status effects)

-Resource based items: (items that effects pickups / generate things / use your resources in different ways / affecting shops)

-High risk reward items: (stuff like bobs brain / curse of the tower / cursed eye) (people may not like them but items like these are important too!)

-Mod items: (items that affect usable items / familiars / angel,devil rooms / shops / etc)

-Trinkets: (items that passively mod behind the scenes %s, effects and support a range of archetypes)  

-Wild cards: (items that dont fit into an archetype but do interesting things none the less)

Enemies/Bosses-

im specifically looking for enemies that will be added as alts to existing ones. this makes them a lot easier to add so we dont need to include 100+ rooms specifically for each of them. they dont need to be like the enemy they are an alt of, but should roughly fit the theme/difficulty of said enemy you are making an alt for.

theme tips:

most of you should know these themes by now.

-most enemies should resemble Isaac in some minor way

-stick to Edmunds 6 Ds of Isaac visual enemy design: decaying, demonic, dead, dying, diseased and decapitated!

- again minor themes of fetal development, insects (decomposers) and body horror in general are always accepted!

design tips:

also im sure there are more than a few zelda enemies i missed out there.. just copy those! :\

Challenges-

it would be great to add a new challenge every month this year.. but they gotta be good! 

challenges should force the place to finish the game in a unique / interesting / challenging way that you aren’t usually used to. theme doesn't matter as much on these, as long as the design is fun or new id be more than happy to add as many as we can over the year.  

Misc- 

im sure there are things out there we somehow missed that we can officially support. out of the box stuff, whatever works as long as it fits the theme and is a solid design im more than happy to consider it.

the best way for me to see your designs is to simply tweet me a gif or video of your mod in action, be specific though dont send me like 20 items or 15 enemies, just send me one of each that you feel is the best, then wait a month to send more. 

the reddit page is also a great place to showcase your mods as well as get feedback and maybe even sync up with an artist or programmer you can partner with (romance?).

anyway i hope this was helpful, its a bit hamfisted but as the months roll by im sure we will find a smooth way to exchange ideas and ill keep updating the blog with new info as the year unfolds. 

so enjoy the launch, dig into the new content and have fun unlocking all the new bits and pieces we added over the year. Tyrone will be doing a post in a week or so that will go more into mod details and ill do what i can to link any fan made mod tutorials here.

im honestly very excited to see where you guys take this!

[fmm85]

Consensus: Distributed

Michelle Phan: The Beauty of Bitcoin

The first woman to gain more than a million YouTube subscribers is now going all-in on bitcoin to promote financial freedom to her loyal fanbase.

“I kind of view bitcoin as similar to YouTube, which was part of the decentralization of content,” said beauty mogul Michelle Phan. “[Bitcoin] is the decentralization of power.” 

Phan, who turned online beauty tutorials into a $50 million business, learned about bitcoin while researching gold in 2011. When Phan started raking in money on YouTube, she wanted to diversify her holdings. 

Phan was attracted to the “philosophy of bitcoin” and already had a knack for teaching online. Jack Dorsey is perhaps the only other bitcoin mogul with a comparably mainstream reputation. Likewise, Phan now has a hand in several complementary companies, including an investment in the music startup Thematic, which helps YouTubers use music without violating copyright infringement. 

Since the beauty industry has yet to recover from the makeup crash of 2019, it’s increasingly common for women to shop online or run direct-to-consumer brands predominately sold through the social media strategies Phan pioneered. Fans can expect her to continue investing horizontally, in different components of the internet-native retail chain.

My viewers are hungry for more than makeup and skincare. They want to know how to protect their purchasing power.

In some ways, the beauty industry is now comparable to the crypto industry. Digital marketing is dominated by social media influencers like Phan, who modeled how such influencers can make money without compromising on honest product reviews. Beauty product consumers create passionate, highly engaged online communities. (Debates about facial scrubs and lipstick on such forums can be as controversial as the most toxic Bitcoin Twitter debate.) In that world, Phan is seen as much more than a lipstick peddler. She broke the monopoly once held by fashion magazines to shape makeup trends. 

On Monday, May 11 at 5:30 p.m. ET, you can ask Michelle anything during an AMA at Consensus: Distributed, CoinDesk’s first virtual, free conference. Register here.

Beauty influencer Roxette Arisa, who has nearly 1.2 million YouTube subscribers and marketed Em Cosmetics, described Phan as an “inspiration” who popularized themed tutorials, like “Sailor Moon” or “Bad Girl,” and beauty content aimed at more than triggering purchases. Phan has a holistic, health-oriented approach, distinguishing her makeup brand through educational content as well. 

“We’ve seen a huge shift from traditional sources [like magazines] to digital media,” Arisa said. “She [Phan] was doing stuff no one was doing at the time. Her production value was so high and she was always coming up with different looks.”

Michelle Phan

Source: Mark Sacro for CoinDesk

While tech bros in Silicon Valley chase venture capital by promising to “disrupt” a sector, Phan actually did it, completely bootstrapped. She retained a loyal audience for more than a decade by inviting fans to view themselves as self-taught experts, too.

As such, Phan started using her social channels to promote bitcoin when the recession started in March. This is, in part, because her businesses and brand were finally mature enough to afford an unconventional risk. Most beauty influencers focus on makeup tutorials, not financial literacy. Plus, Phan said an economic crisis like this one is “when bitcoin really shines.” 

“Now my viewers are hungry for more than makeup and skincare. They want to know how to protect their purchasing power,” Phan said. “I am investing a lot of my time and energy into helping promote mass adoption for bitcoin.”

Empire building

For fans like crypto-savvy investor and skincare connoisseur Katherine Wu of Notation Capital, Phan has a trustworthy brand that Wu is excited to see expand to financial education. 

“She very much shaped my relationship with makeup, skincare and, in some ways, charting an off-beat path,” Wu said. “Michelle has a very different reach and audience than people like Jack Dorsey and Andrew Yang.”

From Wu’s perspective, Phan isn’t just another famous bitcoiner. Phan makes the technology seem less intimidating. In fact, she makes it seem completely normal, in a good way. 

“Bitcoin has enabled a lot of people to pursue career paths in ways that were not possible before,” Wu said, adding many aspiring entrepreneurs are inspired to follow Phan’s self-sovereign approach. “So she could play a bigger role in bringing her core base into crypto.” 

Phan is building a retail empire by incorporating bitcoin, a public good created by a group outside herself, into her broader business model. She said she’ll start with educational content, then potentially move on to working with e-commerce startups like Lolli and Fold, which helps users earn and spend bitcoin.

“Of course I want to accept bitcoin, but I feel like consumers aren’t ready yet to purchase things with their bitcoin,” Phan said. 

Michelle has a very different reach and audience than people like Jack Dorsey and Andrew Yang.

Instead, she believes now is the time to focus on teaching people how and why to hold their own bitcoin. She’s already earned fans’ loyalty for years and can grow with them as the economy changes. Plus, as an employer with a dozen people on staff, Phan also needs to prioritize revenue and stability for her cosmetics brand during the COVID-19 crisis. 

“It’s benefited us, being direct-to-consumer, because that’s what we’re used to. Anyone in retail right now is suffering,” Phan said, adding that bitcoiners’ self-sovereign ethos shaped her entrepreneurial approach. “The beauty of my brand is I own it, I own 100% of it.” 

Bitcoiner’s journey

It was a hard road that led Phan to own a lucrative brand that she controlled enough to take a risk on promoting bitcoin. 

She told Racked her father had a gambling problem and, as the daughter of Vietnamese refugees, her family “grew up poor.” Phan uploaded her first makeup tutorial to YouTube in 2007, when she was 19. She was thousands of dollars in debt, but started earning roughly 25 cents a week from her videos within the first year. 

As her popularity grew, Lancôme hired her in 2010 as its official video makeup artist. In 2011, around the time she started tumbling down the bitcoin rabbit hole, Phan also co-founded the beauty subscription company IPSY, which raised over $100 million in venture capital. It is still considered one of the leading beauty startups in the market today. 

Michelle Phan

Source: Mark Sacro for CoinDesk

When Phan launched her first product line with L’Oréal in 2013, it flopped because it was deemed too expensive. Phan was already juggling a successful company, IPSY, the paparazzi and her model boyfriend, Dominique Capraro, who speaks Italian and could grate cheese on his abs. Unlike the lam-bros chasing women and fame, Phan had it all before she took a risk by going public about bitcoin. She could have let the L’Oréal blunder fade into history and ditched startup life for the red carpet. 

But Phan is a builder, not a celebrity. She bought back the cosmetics line in 2015, eventually relaunching Em Cosmetics as her own company, running it her way. By 2019, the brand was so popular some products sold out. 

Phan played a pivotal role in decentralizing the beauty industry, once dominated by retail gatekeepers and fashion elites. Now a generation of women are making and selling products with direct-to-consumer or peer-to-peer distribution strategies. Next, the 32-year-old bitcoiner set her sights on changing how people talk about money.  

“You’re buying digital real estate. … There could be future cryptocurrencies backed by bitcoin, but bitcoin is the reserve,” Phan said. “Bitcoin is the truest money that we should have had since the beginning of time.”

Read More

The post Michelle Phan: The Beauty of Bitcoin appeared first on Future Money Matters.

[dillenwaeraa]

How Do I Make My Site Rank For a Keyword?

In my experience, the most common reasons a website doesn't rank for a specific keyword are:

The site isn't actually relevant

There isn't any single page which actually uses that keyword

There are too many pages which use that keyword. 

It's true that a site might not rank because of something like authority or some kind of technical issue but for the average SEO team, increasing authority or fixing technical problems are far harder and take much longer than simply looking at the site and making sure we're not just misusing content. 

So often, I’ve started working with teams who have spent months or years trying to perfect their technical setup, who’ve invested thousands in link building campaigns but haven’t made sure they include the keyword they are targeting on the relevant page. 

I will explain in more depth below but here are the first eight things to do to find out why you're not ranking;

If you used to rank - check what changed

Do the quickest and easiest technical checks

Ignore link building until you know there is no other explanation

Make sure the keywords are actually relevant to your site

Make sure you have a page targeting the keywords

Make sure you don't have loads of pages targeting the keywords

Make sure the page you are targeting the keyword with is the right kind

Do more in-depth technical checks

Only now look at the harder solutions

That list is deliberately ordered to start with easy checks that could save all of your site traffic, steadily getting more granular and time intensive but always with a focus on the easiest thing we can do to make the biggest impact on the problem at hand. 

1. If you used to rank - check what changed

If you don’t have any evidence that you used to consistently rank well then skip to step two. As a rule of thumb - you should only really focus on this section if you know that you consistently ranked top 20 for at least a couple months.

As an aside - if the keyword you care about is a “money term” like “Valentines Day flowers” and you seem to have lost traction just as the season is arriving, you might want to read Tom Capper’s post on how to rank for head terms for some insight. If you’re a smaller brand - the rankings may return to normal just after the peak season (which may be small consolation but could get people off your back while you do the foundational work).

Assuming you’ve seen rankings change for a selected number of keywords which you know you used to rank for, and it’s not a matter of “money terms” fluctuating around peak season, we can simplify things by splitting changes into three groups;

Someone changed something on your site so now you’re not doing as well

A competitor started doing something better so now you’re not doing as well

Google changed their algorithm so now you’re not doing as well

Someone changed something on your site so now you’re not doing as well

It can be really hard to keep track of all the changes on a site so it’s quite possible someone made a change you didn’t know about and that’s why you’re no longer ranking.

You could ask your devs, particularly if you already have a good idea of the dates to look into. Devs keep impressively detailed logs of what they’ve changed so that could answer your question quickly. However, it might not answer your question, and it could have been someone else changing something through the CMS who made no record of the change whatsoever.

If you don’t have a tool like Deepcrawl running regular crawls of your site but do have an old Screaming Frog crawl of your site then you can use my free Change Detection Google Sheet to help get an idea of what might have changed. If you can do that - have a look through the results and try to work out what changes might have caused these issues. In particular look for pages being removed or indexation commands, then expand your search to things like keyword changes.

If that doesn’t turn anything up, read through the rest of this blog post.

A competitor started doing something better so now you’re not doing as well

If a competitor started producing better content, or fixed something technical on their site, that could mean they jump up in rankings, pushing you down.

The key thing here is to look at historic data and see who might be doing better now.If you have historic rank tracking in a tool like Stat, start by looking for which competitors jumped up for the keywords you care about. You could even create a tag for the keywords you care about in specific and use the competitive landscape report to see what changed. If you don’t have historic data in something like Stat you could try your luck with Ahrefs to see if they happen to have historic data for the keywords you care about.

If you have no luck in either, the fact that your company cares about this keywords, could mean that someone on your team just knows which site is appearing which wasn’t there before.

If you can identify the site or sites which are doing better, look at the pages they’ve made, see what differences there are between theirs and yours (do they have more information? Are they a homepage? Are they featured in the nav?). Then as much as you can, without just copying the page - steal their tactics.

If you can’t find any sites in particular which seem to have jumped up, if you don’t have historic data or if your site just seems to have gone down then read through the rest of this blog post.

Google changed their algorithm 

Marie Haynes keeps a great, comprehensive list of algorithm changes. If you used to rank - look at when you used to rank, and when you just stopped ranking. If that lines up (like, to the day) with a non-trivial algorithm change then that could be the culprit. If the algorithm change was recent, it’s worth leaving it a couple weeks to see if things settle down.

Google’s algorithm is, understandably a source of frequent stress for website owners because at any point they can turn a dial and it becomes as if we’re working in a completely different search engine. For this investigation, that is exactly how we should think about Google before and after an algorithm change. It is a different search engine. That simplifies our question because we’re no longer talking about keywords we used to rank for - we’re talking about keywords we never ranked for in this new search engine. That means we can follow a lot of the same principles for working out what’s going wrong. 

Go through all of the steps in sections 2-9 in order as if you never ranked.

2. Do the quickest and easiest technical checks

As I said, it's easy to become convinced that some mysterious technical issue is preventing you from appearing. In the vein of that stereotype about mechanics - it's difficult to know when you ask an SEO agency if technical fixes are actually needed or if they are just blinding you with jargon (I've been on the receiving end of that myself when I was in-house). 

I'm here to tell you that you don't need to start with those expensive agency conversations. You can start with some really simple checks and I'm going to give the complete layman's description of each one below. If any of the checks below return a result that you're not expecting, hop over to my colleague Ben Estes' great technical SEO checklist. 

Check that Google has seen and saved some of your site

Have you ever noticed that Google lists how many results it found when we do a search? We can use that to get a rough idea of if it has seen and saved the pages on our site and to make sure we haven't, for some reason, been removed from Google. 

Go to Google and then type; site:<your website domain>

So for example, if I wasn't to check the Distilled site, an individual page might be https://www.distilled.net/resources/seo-ab-testing-whitepaper/, to check the site, I take just "distilled.net" and write site:distilled.net

If the number of results Google lists is much higher or lower than you'd expect, then I'd check Ben's list. But I mean much higher or lower. If you think you’ve got about 500-1000 pages on your website and Google says it found a million pages, something is probably wrong. Likewise, if Google has only found 10 pages and you haven’t just launched your site, something is probably wrong.

You can also use this check for specific subdomains. For instance, if you have a blog at blog.yoursite.com you can write; 

site:blog.yoursite.com

Check that you rank for your own brand name

As long as your brand isn't totally new, and isn't just a competitive term (think "Car Rentals" or "Injury Lawyers") your site should appear when you type in your brand name.

This bit is pretty simple. I feel like I should write more but that’s it - search for your brand name. Are you coming up? If so then great, on to the next step. If not - check Ben's list.

Check that your pages rank for their exact content

Go to some of your most important pages. For each, select one of the top paragraphs on the page, copy about a sentence and then paste that whole sentence into Google. If you don’t appear anywhere then there could be some reason Google hasn’t seen the page or it’s been removed. If you see other sites appearing with that exact content, that might be your problem!

3. Ignore link building until you know there is no other explanation

Believe me, I understand the appeal and I often manage link building campaigns for my clients. Producing a large, impressive link-building piece often lets a team sidestep internal politics and dev queues to actually get something published. They also often look great and can sometimes secure TV coverage. I’ve even seen big Creative pieces as a way for the SEO team to get the attention and approval of the CEO to increase internal clout which makes other things easier. For some sites, links are that piece that's missing which would allow them to rank. However;

Links are almost never the answer.

Links are almost never the answer.

Links are almost never the answer.

Links are almost never the answer.

Proper link building is hard, it’s expensive, and link volume is often not what’s stopping you from ranking.

You know what’s worse than having your CEO breathing down your neck because you don’t rank for one specific keyword? Having your CEO breathing down your neck because you don’t rank for one specific keyword and you’ve just spent £60,000 on link building campaigns which haven’t had an impact.

If you decide early on that you need links, the only way to find out you're wrong is after you spent all that time and money. There are much cheaper and easier things you should do and check before you even touch link building. If you get to the end of this list and you’ve done everything, then you can consider link building pieces.

4. Make sure the keywords are actually relevant to your site

It’s very easy to assume that everyone thinks and talks the same way we do, that because we refer to our core product as “widgets”, that everyone searching for “widgets” wants us.

Google is a business - their continued success is dependent on giving people answers to what they are actually searching for, so Google doesn’t care what you think is relevant, Google cares what 90% of people are searching for.

The easiest way to check what Google thinks something means, is to Google it (shocker). Start by getting the list of keywords you want to rank for. Then either Google each of them yourself, or use a tool like Stat, SEMRush, or Ahrefs to get the top 10 results for each.

If direct business competitors appear in the top 10, then that’s a sign Google thinks you can be relevant. When I say direct business competitors I mean sites which are trying to do the same thing as you. So sites using the same word to mean a different thing are definitely out, but you should also think again if all of the results are things like Wikipedia, or a listing site.

If all of the results are things like Wikipedia you might still be able to target the term with an informational blog post, if it’s all listing sites things become trickier and I’d start by focusing on other things and then come back to these listings-heavy keywords.

5. Make sure you have a page targeting the keyword

Believe me, the impact of just creating a page targeting a keyword can be stark. Below is a screenshot showing the difference before and after launching a targeted page. For the previous years the site was not ranking at all - having a page clearly targeting the keyword pushed them to position two within the space of a couple weeks.

It could be argued that this should be the first check but it's quite intentionally not. If it was, a person might never ask themselves "is it right for us to rank?" or "have I accidentally blocked Google from my site?" and those are more important questions in terms of saving your time and traffic. 

There are a few ways to check this. You could use my keyword checker Google sheet to check if you’re ranking for specific keywords. 

Get the keyword checker sheet here:

// <![CDATA[ hbspt.forms.create({ target: '#scenario-example-form', css: '', cssRequired: '', errorClass: 'none', errorMessageClass: 'hide', submitButtonClass: 'button orange', portalId: '2124102', formId: '6b1dc4ab-070b-4333-b4c6-0a491331ce06' }); // ]]>

The easiest if you're only checking a few keywords is to reuse the site: search we mentioned above. This time, as well as searching for your domain, search for your keyword too, in quotes. So for example:

site:distilled.net "technical audit checklist"

That will give you a list of all the pages on your site which specifically mention the keyword. There are a few possible scenarios here.

Loads of pages show up

Important - if loads of pages come up then your problem might be that you have too many pages competing for this keyword. Or a combination of that, plus having no one page focused enough. Instead of working your way down the list of pages, follow the steps in section six. 

A handful of pages show up

You might still have issues with too many pages competing, so still take a look at section six. Before you do that - starting with the page at the top, work your way down the list, visiting each page, and try to work out if the keyword you want to rank for is the main focus of the page. 

No pages show up

If no pages appear then you don’t have any pages, which Google knows about, which are targeting the keyword. Find a page which you would expect to target this keyword and make sure that Google knows about it. Then, just add this keyword in the title or meta description and monitor your progress. 

If that’s not enough add some (valuable) content to the page targeting this keyword. 

If that’s not enough then try creating a page or blog post specifically about this topic. Consider removing the keyword from the page you just changed to avoid cannibalisation issues which we discuss in section 6. If you don’t know what kind of page to create, read section 7 of this blog post.

6. Make sure you don’t have loads of pages targeting the keywords

Targeting a keyword with too many pages can and does hurt your traffic. Sometimes as badly as having no page at all.

The below is a modest example of a page jumping from around position 40 to position 7 because we removed the keyword in question from a bunch of other pages.

When too many pages are competing for the same keyword we often refer to that as “cannibalisation”. To check for cannibalisation, look for any combination of the following things;

A few pages are ranking for the keyword, but poorly. For instance, they’re all in the bottom half of page 2, or worse.

One page ranks well for a few days, but then for a day or so, another page starts ranking below it (i.e. one is in position 11, the other is in position 12). Then they both disappear entirely.

No page is ranking consistently well and Google keeps switching between different pages.

You can check for cannibalisation by using Search Console, a paid keyword tracker like Stat, or manual searches. I’ve given details for each below.

Paid keyword tracker

If you have access to a keyword tracker like Stat, track the keywords for a little while. If you’re using Stat, in the keywords report select the keyword you’re interested in.

Use the “Overview” tab to track rankings over time and look for things like rankings jumping up and down.

Use the “Archived SERPs” tab to check if multiple pages from your domain are ranking at the same time (they’ll be highlighted in yellow)

Search Console

Search Console is a great, free source of cannibalisation data with a few drawbacks;

Search Console reports won’t show keywords that you haven’t had any impressions for. So if you’re doing so badly for a keyword that no one even saw your site, you won’t see it at all in Search Console data.

Search Console data is sampled, so you can’t guarantee you’ll get every keyword.

Search Console data doesn’t make the distinction between multiple pages ranking, and getting site links so

For this result, Search Console would show the homepage, About Us, Jobs, Blog, and Resources pages as ranking, even though this isn’t a case of cannibalisation.

With that in mind, you can use this Google Sheet to check your recent Search Console data for keywords where you have a few pages ranking. There are instructions on the first tab of the sheet for how to use it.

Get the keyword checker sheet here:

// <![CDATA[ hbspt.forms.create({ target: '#scenario-example-form-b', css: '', cssRequired: '', errorClass: 'none', errorMessageClass: 'hide', submitButtonClass: 'button orange', portalId: '2124102', formId: '6b1dc4ab-070b-4333-b4c6-0a491331ce06' }); // ]]>

Manual searches

If you only have a handful of keywords you want to check for, you don’t have access to paid tools, and Search Console isn’t turning anything up then follow the steps in section 5. If you see a lot of pages coming up for a keyword, or even a handful of pages which are prominently targeting the keyword that could be your issue.

Try removing the site: search and flick through the first ten pages of results to see if multiple pages appear. Bonus points if multiple pages from your site are appearing very close together (i.e. positions 27 and 28).

Fix it

Whichever method you use to work out whether you are cannibalising on keywords, once you know, the next step is to fix it. Choose the best page to target the keyword - for a way to go about that, read section 7. of this post which is about making sure you’re targeting a keyword with the right kind of page.

Once you’ve chosen your page, you have two levers you can move. You can make your chosen page more relevant for the keyword, or you can make the other pages less relevant for the keyword. I’d advise first making the page you choose a little more relevant, then making other pages less relevant until either you see a result or you run out of things to do. If you’ve run out of things to do, start making your chosen page more relevant until you run out of options there too.

Making your chosen page more relevant can be as simple as adding content. If the keyword isn’t mentioned in your title, meta descriptions, etc. try adding it. If you’ve already done that, consider adding a short paragraph about the topic you want to rank for. Resist the urge to keyword stuff and don’t add content which doesn’t make sense on the page.

Making other pages less relevant can be as simple as removing content. If the keyword is in your title, meta descriptions etc. try removing it or using different words. If there’s specific on-page content which is about this keyword, consider moving and combining all of that content on the page you want to rank. If the whole page is about the keyword, maybe the page you’re trying to remove is actually the one that should rank? If you’re certain that this page isn’t the one that should rank, first check for other keywords it might be ranking for or, to make sure you’re not throwing anything away, then canonicalise it or redirect it to the main page you want to rank.

7. Make sure the page you are targeting the keyword with is the right kind

Sometimes, even if a site is the right kind of site, and a page is clearly the one you want to rank, Google won’t let it rank because it’s the wrong kind of page. 

The main ways we can categorise a page on a site are;

Strength (Is this the homepage? Linked to in the nav? Or an old forgotten blog post?)

Specificity (Is this a broad page which just mentions the keyword or is it all about that term?)

Type (Is it a blog post or product page? This relates to search intent which we’ll cover below)

What you should do here is look at what is already ranking in the top ten. 

Is it mainly sites homepages? In which case, the norm is strong (homepages get most of the focus of a site) and broad (homepages don’t tend to be terribly focused).

Is it mainly pages which don’t appear in those sites internal navigation? Which specifically dedicated to this keyword? You can often tell because the keyword will be in the URL of the page or a lot of the page content will be about the term. In which case the norm is probably weaker but more specific.

Then we need to work out whether the norm is for product pages or blog posts? Here is where we start down the rabbit hole of “search intent”. “Search intent” is the catch-all for “what the person thinks they’re going to get when they search”. 

An easy way to see this in action is to search “ski” and “skis”. When we search “ski” Google thinks that we either want to know more about skiing or that we want to do something (in this case go skiing). When we search for “skis” Google thinks we want to buy skis.

A site which wants to rank for “ski” will not be able to do so with a page selling skis, no matter how strong and well-optimised that page is. So if most of the pages that are ranking are for holidays - your page should be about holidays. If they are mostly blog posts and Wikipedia articles, it should be an informational page - don’t try to sell something. If they’re all specific product pages - create a product page. While just following the herd isn’t usually the ideal strategy, looking at the category of content which is currently performing well is the best way to get a sense of direction, then you can tweak other things.

While you should be able to get what you need, at least for small lists of keywords, by manually checking, if you’d like to dive in to a more technical solution to checking search intent Rory Truesdale has been doing some excellent work on this and has written about it in Search Engine Journal.

Once you know the intent, strength, and specificity of content already ranking, you can start to play around with the strength and specificity. If you have a weak page which is also quite broad - experiment with making that page more specific by adding more content, or stronger by linking to it internally. If all of the ranking sites are doing so with strong, broad pages, for instance a page linked to in the top nav, experiment with making one of your strong pages more specific or choose an even stronger page, like your homepage for example, and see how specific you can make that.

A general rule of thumb is that you most likely won’t be able to go against the intent of a search, but dialling up either the strength or specificity of how you are targeting a term will make you more likely to rank.

If you have no pages on your site which target the search term and the right search intent - try changing one to target it, or creating one even if you have other pages (of the wrong intent) already targeting the term. If that causes cannibalisation problems you can then deal with them, if it doesn’t then you’ve got an easy result. To be clear here - you do not have to have one page for every keyword. You can have a page targeting more than one keyword, but if there is a topic you want to rank for, which would fill a page by itself, and it has enough value to your business to justify a whole page then make that!

If you have lots of pages on your site targeting the search term and only one of them has the right search intent, select that page as the primary page to target this term, increase how specific and relevant this primary page is (by adding content), and decrease the specificity and relevance of other pages (by removing content or removing the page altogether).

If you have lots of pages on your site targeting the search term and any of them could target the right search intent, start with the strongest page. Ask yourself - would my moodiest website visitors (and my boss) be happy if I put a paragraph on this page about this topic. If not, the topic isn’t important enough to go on that page. Repeat the process working your way down the list until you find the strongest page you can make more specific, then follow the steps in section 6. If you’ve done everything in section 6 and you’re still not seeing any improvement, maybe the page you chose was too weak. Try linking to it more internally or decide if you’d prefer to choose a stronger page.

8. Do more in-depth technical checks

If you’ve made sure you have, well written, strong, specific, relevant pages targeting the keywords you want to rank for, and you’re still not getting anywhere, you might be able to tip the scales by making some technical improvements to your site.

While a lot of technical improvements will improve overall site health (and there are lots of graphs of those) the screenshot below is directly from a report to another client where we made technical improvements bumped up page rankings for a business-priority keyword from page 2, to the middle of page 1. Since this point the page has consistently ranked around position 6-8.

Technical checks can be intimidating. Fortunately, Ben Estes has produced a great technical SEO checklist which will lead you through a lot of the most common technical issues.

9. Only now look at harder solutions

Just as no two businesses are the same, no two sites are the same. Google, quite intentionally, works in mysterious ways and sometimes when we’ve covered all of our bases we still don’t have a good idea of why we aren’t ranking. At this point you could look into deeper technical issues, using tools like log file analysis, you could compare site speed with competitors to see if that’s what giving them the edge, or you could try building links.

I hope you haven’t had to get this far, but if you have there are still options out there, and you can investigate them, or hire to solve them, in the knowledge that you’ve covered the core stuff already.

Good luck!

from Marketing https://www.distilled.net/resources/how-do-i-make-my-site-rank-for-a-keyword/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[davidrsmithlove]

How Do I Make My Site Rank For a Keyword?

In my experience, the most common reasons a website doesn't rank for a specific keyword are:

The site isn't actually relevant

There isn't any single page which actually uses that keyword

There are too many pages which use that keyword. 

It's true that a site might not rank because of something like authority or some kind of technical issue but for the average SEO team, increasing authority or fixing technical problems are far harder and take much longer than simply looking at the site and making sure we're not just misusing content. 

So often, I’ve started working with teams who have spent months or years trying to perfect their technical setup, who’ve invested thousands in link building campaigns but haven’t made sure they include the keyword they are targeting on the relevant page. 

I will explain in more depth below but here are the first eight things to do to find out why you're not ranking;

If you used to rank - check what changed

Do the quickest and easiest technical checks

Ignore link building until you know there is no other explanation

Make sure the keywords are actually relevant to your site

Make sure you have a page targeting the keywords

Make sure you don't have loads of pages targeting the keywords

Make sure the page you are targeting the keyword with is the right kind

Do more in-depth technical checks

Only now look at the harder solutions

That list is deliberately ordered to start with easy checks that could save all of your site traffic, steadily getting more granular and time intensive but always with a focus on the easiest thing we can do to make the biggest impact on the problem at hand. 

1. If you used to rank - check what changed

If you don’t have any evidence that you used to consistently rank well then skip to step two. As a rule of thumb - you should only really focus on this section if you know that you consistently ranked top 20 for at least a couple months.

As an aside - if the keyword you care about is a “money term” like “Valentines Day flowers” and you seem to have lost traction just as the season is arriving, you might want to read Tom Capper’s post on how to rank for head terms for some insight. If you’re a smaller brand - the rankings may return to normal just after the peak season (which may be small consolation but could get people off your back while you do the foundational work).

Assuming you’ve seen rankings change for a selected number of keywords which you know you used to rank for, and it’s not a matter of “money terms” fluctuating around peak season, we can simplify things by splitting changes into three groups;

Someone changed something on your site so now you’re not doing as well

A competitor started doing something better so now you’re not doing as well

Google changed their algorithm so now you’re not doing as well

Someone changed something on your site so now you’re not doing as well

It can be really hard to keep track of all the changes on a site so it’s quite possible someone made a change you didn’t know about and that’s why you’re no longer ranking.

You could ask your devs, particularly if you already have a good idea of the dates to look into. Devs keep impressively detailed logs of what they’ve changed so that could answer your question quickly. However, it might not answer your question, and it could have been someone else changing something through the CMS who made no record of the change whatsoever.

If you don’t have a tool like Deepcrawl running regular crawls of your site but do have an old Screaming Frog crawl of your site then you can use my free Change Detection Google Sheet to help get an idea of what might have changed. If you can do that - have a look through the results and try to work out what changes might have caused these issues. In particular look for pages being removed or indexation commands, then expand your search to things like keyword changes.

If that doesn’t turn anything up, read through the rest of this blog post.

A competitor started doing something better so now you’re not doing as well

If a competitor started producing better content, or fixed something technical on their site, that could mean they jump up in rankings, pushing you down.

The key thing here is to look at historic data and see who might be doing better now.If you have historic rank tracking in a tool like Stat, start by looking for which competitors jumped up for the keywords you care about. You could even create a tag for the keywords you care about in specific and use the competitive landscape report to see what changed. If you don’t have historic data in something like Stat you could try your luck with Ahrefs to see if they happen to have historic data for the keywords you care about.

If you have no luck in either, the fact that your company cares about this keywords, could mean that someone on your team just knows which site is appearing which wasn’t there before.

If you can identify the site or sites which are doing better, look at the pages they’ve made, see what differences there are between theirs and yours (do they have more information? Are they a homepage? Are they featured in the nav?). Then as much as you can, without just copying the page - steal their tactics.

If you can’t find any sites in particular which seem to have jumped up, if you don’t have historic data or if your site just seems to have gone down then read through the rest of this blog post.

Google changed their algorithm 

Marie Haynes keeps a great, comprehensive list of algorithm changes. If you used to rank - look at when you used to rank, and when you just stopped ranking. If that lines up (like, to the day) with a non-trivial algorithm change then that could be the culprit. If the algorithm change was recent, it’s worth leaving it a couple weeks to see if things settle down.

Google’s algorithm is, understandably a source of frequent stress for website owners because at any point they can turn a dial and it becomes as if we’re working in a completely different search engine. For this investigation, that is exactly how we should think about Google before and after an algorithm change. It is a different search engine. That simplifies our question because we’re no longer talking about keywords we used to rank for - we’re talking about keywords we never ranked for in this new search engine. That means we can follow a lot of the same principles for working out what’s going wrong. 

Go through all of the steps in sections 2-9 in order as if you never ranked.

2. Do the quickest and easiest technical checks

As I said, it's easy to become convinced that some mysterious technical issue is preventing you from appearing. In the vein of that stereotype about mechanics - it's difficult to know when you ask an SEO agency if technical fixes are actually needed or if they are just blinding you with jargon (I've been on the receiving end of that myself when I was in-house). 

I'm here to tell you that you don't need to start with those expensive agency conversations. You can start with some really simple checks and I'm going to give the complete layman's description of each one below. If any of the checks below return a result that you're not expecting, hop over to my colleague Ben Estes' great technical SEO checklist. 

Check that Google has seen and saved some of your site

Have you ever noticed that Google lists how many results it found when we do a search? We can use that to get a rough idea of if it has seen and saved the pages on our site and to make sure we haven't, for some reason, been removed from Google. 

Go to Google and then type; site:<your website domain>

So for example, if I wasn't to check the Distilled site, an individual page might be https://www.distilled.net/resources/seo-ab-testing-whitepaper/, to check the site, I take just "distilled.net" and write site:distilled.net

If the number of results Google lists is much higher or lower than you'd expect, then I'd check Ben's list. But I mean much higher or lower. If you think you’ve got about 500-1000 pages on your website and Google says it found a million pages, something is probably wrong. Likewise, if Google has only found 10 pages and you haven’t just launched your site, something is probably wrong.

You can also use this check for specific subdomains. For instance, if you have a blog at blog.yoursite.com you can write; 

site:blog.yoursite.com

Check that you rank for your own brand name

As long as your brand isn't totally new, and isn't just a competitive term (think "Car Rentals" or "Injury Lawyers") your site should appear when you type in your brand name.

This bit is pretty simple. I feel like I should write more but that’s it - search for your brand name. Are you coming up? If so then great, on to the next step. If not - check Ben's list.

Check that your pages rank for their exact content

Go to some of your most important pages. For each, select one of the top paragraphs on the page, copy about a sentence and then paste that whole sentence into Google. If you don’t appear anywhere then there could be some reason Google hasn’t seen the page or it’s been removed. If you see other sites appearing with that exact content, that might be your problem!

3. Ignore link building until you know there is no other explanation

Believe me, I understand the appeal and I often manage link building campaigns for my clients. Producing a large, impressive link-building piece often lets a team sidestep internal politics and dev queues to actually get something published. They also often look great and can sometimes secure TV coverage. I’ve even seen big Creative pieces as a way for the SEO team to get the attention and approval of the CEO to increase internal clout which makes other things easier. For some sites, links are that piece that's missing which would allow them to rank. However;

Links are almost never the answer.

Links are almost never the answer.

Links are almost never the answer.

Links are almost never the answer.

Proper link building is hard, it’s expensive, and link volume is often not what’s stopping you from ranking.

You know what’s worse than having your CEO breathing down your neck because you don’t rank for one specific keyword? Having your CEO breathing down your neck because you don’t rank for one specific keyword and you’ve just spent £60,000 on link building campaigns which haven’t had an impact.

If you decide early on that you need links, the only way to find out you're wrong is after you spent all that time and money. There are much cheaper and easier things you should do and check before you even touch link building. If you get to the end of this list and you’ve done everything, then you can consider link building pieces.

4. Make sure the keywords are actually relevant to your site

It’s very easy to assume that everyone thinks and talks the same way we do, that because we refer to our core product as “widgets”, that everyone searching for “widgets” wants us.

Google is a business - their continued success is dependent on giving people answers to what they are actually searching for, so Google doesn’t care what you think is relevant, Google cares what 90% of people are searching for.

The easiest way to check what Google thinks something means, is to Google it (shocker). Start by getting the list of keywords you want to rank for. Then either Google each of them yourself, or use a tool like Stat, SEMRush, or Ahrefs to get the top 10 results for each.

If direct business competitors appear in the top 10, then that’s a sign Google thinks you can be relevant. When I say direct business competitors I mean sites which are trying to do the same thing as you. So sites using the same word to mean a different thing are definitely out, but you should also think again if all of the results are things like Wikipedia, or a listing site.

If all of the results are things like Wikipedia you might still be able to target the term with an informational blog post, if it’s all listing sites things become trickier and I’d start by focusing on other things and then come back to these listings-heavy keywords.

5. Make sure you have a page targeting the keyword

Believe me, the impact of just creating a page targeting a keyword can be stark. Below is a screenshot showing the difference before and after launching a targeted page. For the previous years the site was not ranking at all - having a page clearly targeting the keyword pushed them to position two within the space of a couple weeks.

It could be argued that this should be the first check but it's quite intentionally not. If it was, a person might never ask themselves "is it right for us to rank?" or "have I accidentally blocked Google from my site?" and those are more important questions in terms of saving your time and traffic. 

There are a few ways to check this. You could use my keyword checker Google sheet to check if you’re ranking for specific keywords. 

The easiest if you're only checking a few keywords is to reuse the site: search we mentioned above. This time, as well as searching for your domain, search for your keyword too, in quotes. So for example:

site:distilled.net "technical audit checklist"

That will give you a list of all the pages on your site which specifically mention the keyword. There are a few possible scenarios here.

Loads of pages show up

Important - if loads of pages come up then your problem might be that you have too many pages competing for this keyword. Or a combination of that, plus having no one page focused enough. Instead of working your way down the list of pages, follow the steps in section six. 

A handful of pages show up

You might still have issues with too many pages competing, so still take a look at section six. Before you do that - starting with the page at the top, work your way down the list, visiting each page, and try to work out if the keyword you want to rank for is the main focus of the page. 

No pages show up

If no pages appear then you don’t have any pages, which Google knows about, which are targeting the keyword. Find a page which you would expect to target this keyword and make sure that Google knows about it. Then, just add this keyword in the title or meta description and monitor your progress. 

If that’s not enough add some (valuable) content to the page targeting this keyword. 

If that’s not enough then try creating a page or blog post specifically about this topic. Consider removing the keyword from the page you just changed to avoid cannibalisation issues which we discuss in section 6. If you don’t know what kind of page to create, read section 7 of this blog post.

6. Make sure you don’t have loads of pages targeting the keywords

Targeting a keyword with too many pages can and does hurt your traffic. Sometimes as badly as having no page at all.

The below is a modest example of a page jumping from around position 40 to position 7 because we removed the keyword in question from a bunch of other pages.

When too many pages are competing for the same keyword we often refer to that as “cannibalisation”. To check for cannibalisation, look for any combination of the following things;

A few pages are ranking for the keyword, but poorly. For instance, they’re all in the bottom half of page 2, or worse.

One page ranks well for a few days, but then for a day or so, another page starts ranking below it (i.e. one is in position 11, the other is in position 12). Then they both disappear entirely.

No page is ranking consistently well and Google keeps switching between different pages.

You can check for cannibalisation by using Search Console, a paid keyword tracker like Stat, or manual searches. I’ve given details for each below.

Paid keyword tracker

If you have access to a keyword tracker like Stat, track the keywords for a little while. If you’re using Stat, in the keywords report select the keyword you’re interested in.

Use the “Overview” tab to track rankings over time and look for things like rankings jumping up and down.

Use the “Archived SERPs” tab to check if multiple pages from your domain are ranking at the same time (they’ll be highlighted in yellow)

Search Console

Search Console is a great, free source of cannibalisation data with a few drawbacks;

Search Console reports won’t show keywords that you haven’t had any impressions for. So if you’re doing so badly for a keyword that no one even saw your site, you won’t see it at all in Search Console data.

Search Console data is sampled, so you can’t guarantee you’ll get every keyword.

Search Console data doesn’t make the distinction between multiple pages ranking, and getting site links so

For this result, Search Console would show the homepage, About Us, Jobs, Blog, and Resources pages as ranking, even though this isn’t a case of cannibalisation.

With that in mind, you can use this Google Sheet to check your recent Search Console data for keywords where you have a few pages ranking. There are instructions on the first tab of the sheet for how to use it.

Manual searches

If you only have a handful of keywords you want to check for, you don’t have access to paid tools, and Search Console isn’t turning anything up then follow the steps in section 5. If you see a lot of pages coming up for a keyword, or even a handful of pages which are prominently targeting the keyword that could be your issue.

Try removing the site: search and flick through the first ten pages of results to see if multiple pages appear. Bonus points if multiple pages from your site are appearing very close together (i.e. positions 27 and 28).

Fix it

Whichever method you use to work out whether you are cannibalising on keywords, once you know, the next step is to fix it. Choose the best page to target the keyword - for a way to go about that, read section 7. of this post which is about making sure you’re targeting a keyword with the right kind of page.

Once you’ve chosen your page, you have two levers you can move. You can make your chosen page more relevant for the keyword, or you can make the other pages less relevant for the keyword. I’d advise first making the page you choose a little more relevant, then making other pages less relevant until either you see a result or you run out of things to do. If you’ve run out of things to do, start making your chosen page more relevant until you run out of options there too.

Making your chosen page more relevant can be as simple as adding content. If the keyword isn’t mentioned in your title, meta descriptions, etc. try adding it. If you’ve already done that, consider adding a short paragraph about the topic you want to rank for. Resist the urge to keyword stuff and don’t add content which doesn’t make sense on the page.

Making other pages less relevant can be as simple as removing content. If the keyword is in your title, meta descriptions etc. try removing it or using different words. If there’s specific on-page content which is about this keyword, consider moving and combining all of that content on the page you want to rank. If the whole page is about the keyword, maybe the page you’re trying to remove is actually the one that should rank? If you’re certain that this page isn’t the one that should rank, first check for other keywords it might be ranking for or, to make sure you’re not throwing anything away, then canonicalise it or redirect it to the main page you want to rank.

7. Make sure the page you are targeting the keyword with is the right kind

Sometimes, even if a site is the right kind of site, and a page is clearly the one you want to rank, Google won’t let it rank because it’s the wrong kind of page. 

The main ways we can categorise a page on a site are;

Strength (Is this the homepage? Linked to in the nav? Or an old forgotten blog post?)

Specificity (Is this a broad page which just mentions the keyword or is it all about that term?)

Type (Is it a blog post or product page? This relates to search intent which we’ll cover below)

What you should do here is look at what is already ranking in the top ten. 

Is it mainly sites homepages? In which case, the norm is strong (homepages get most of the focus of a site) and broad (homepages don’t tend to be terribly focused).

Is it mainly pages which don’t appear in those sites internal navigation? Which specifically dedicated to this keyword? You can often tell because the keyword will be in the URL of the page or a lot of the page content will be about the term. In which case the norm is probably weaker but more specific.

Then we need to work out whether the norm is for product pages or blog posts? Here is where we start down the rabbit hole of “search intent”. “Search intent” is the catch-all for “what the person thinks they’re going to get when they search”. 

An easy way to see this in action is to search “ski” and “skis”. When we search “ski” Google thinks that we either want to know more about skiing or that we want to do something (in this case go skiing). When we search for “skis” Google thinks we want to buy skis.

A site which wants to rank for “ski” will not be able to do so with a page selling skis, no matter how strong and well-optimised that page is. So if most of the pages that are ranking are for holidays - your page should be about holidays. If they are mostly blog posts and Wikipedia articles, it should be an informational page - don’t try to sell something. If they’re all specific product pages - create a product page. While just following the herd isn’t usually the ideal strategy, looking at the category of content which is currently performing well is the best way to get a sense of direction, then you can tweak other things.

While you should be able to get what you need, at least for small lists of keywords, by manually checking, if you’d like to dive in to a more technical solution to checking search intent Rory Truesdale has been doing some excellent work on this and has written about it in Search Engine Journal.

Once you know the intent, strength, and specificity of content already ranking, you can start to play around with the strength and specificity. If you have a weak page which is also quite broad - experiment with making that page more specific by adding more content, or stronger by linking to it internally. If all of the ranking sites are doing so with strong, broad pages, for instance a page linked to in the top nav, experiment with making one of your strong pages more specific or choose an even stronger page, like your homepage for example, and see how specific you can make that.

A general rule of thumb is that you most likely won’t be able to go against the intent of a search, but dialling up either the strength or specificity of how you are targeting a term will make you more likely to rank.

If you have no pages on your site which target the search term and the right search intent - try changing one to target it, or creating one even if you have other pages (of the wrong intent) already targeting the term. If that causes cannibalisation problems you can then deal with them, if it doesn’t then you’ve got an easy result. To be clear here - you do not have to have one page for every keyword. You can have a page targeting more than one keyword, but if there is a topic you want to rank for, which would fill a page by itself, and it has enough value to your business to justify a whole page then make that!

If you have lots of pages on your site targeting the search term and only one of them has the right search intent, select that page as the primary page to target this term, increase how specific and relevant this primary page is (by adding content), and decrease the specificity and relevance of other pages (by removing content or removing the page altogether).

If you have lots of pages on your site targeting the search term and any of them could target the right search intent, start with the strongest page. Ask yourself - would my moodiest website visitors (and my boss) be happy if I put a paragraph on this page about this topic. If not, the topic isn’t important enough to go on that page. Repeat the process working your way down the list until you find the strongest page you can make more specific, then follow the steps in section 6. If you’ve done everything in section 6 and you’re still not seeing any improvement, maybe the page you chose was too weak. Try linking to it more internally or decide if you’d prefer to choose a stronger page.

8. Do more in-depth technical checks

If you’ve made sure you have, well written, strong, specific, relevant pages targeting the keywords you want to rank for, and you’re still not getting anywhere, you might be able to tip the scales by making some technical improvements to your site.

While a lot of technical improvements will improve overall site health (and there are lots of graphs of those) the screenshot below is directly from a report to another client where we made technical improvements bumped up page rankings for a business-priority keyword from page 2, to the middle of page 1. Since this point the page has consistently ranked around position 6-8.

Technical checks can be intimidating. Fortunately, Ben Estes has produced a great technical SEO checklist which will lead you through a lot of the most common technical issues.

9. Only now look at harder solutions

Just as no two businesses are the same, no two sites are the same. Google, quite intentionally, works in mysterious ways and sometimes when we’ve covered all of our bases we still don’t have a good idea of why we aren’t ranking. At this point you could look into deeper technical issues, using tools like log file analysis, you could compare site speed with competitors to see if that’s what giving them the edge, or you could try building links.

I hope you haven’t had to get this far, but if you have there are still options out there, and you can investigate them, or hire to solve them, in the knowledge that you’ve covered the core stuff already.

Good luck!