#sorry for making it angsty at the end

[davonati]

They make love out there in the field, before David has to leave for good. It’s fast and messy, with both of their emotions running so high. Yonatan comes with the taste of David’s tears on his tongue.

He stays lying on his back in the grass until the sound of crunching footsteps finally fades away, and only realizes later that, in their utter desperation for each other, he’d forgotten to take any of the usual precautions. But by then, it’s far too late.

***

Four months later, he goes to see David at Horesh. Even in the dim light of the hideout, David looks at him oddly.

“Something’s different about you,” he muses, and Yonatan has to stop himself from reflexively clutching his belly. He’s not showing yet, not really, but he can feel the life growing inside him.

He expects David to approach him then, to explore the planes of his body as he’s done countless times before. He readies himself to tell David the truth, to finally feel the weight of this secret lift off his shoulders. But David comes no closer. He eyes him for another moment and then turns away, pulling out a large map of the Judean territories as he updates Yonatan on his group’s movements over the last few months.

It’s better this way, Yonatan decides. David has enough to worry about at the moment without concerning himself with Yonatan’s health, and there’s no guarantee that the baby will make it to term anyways: it’s not as if Yonatan is willing – or able – to confine himself to bedrest for nine months. When David returns to Giveah, Yonatan can reevaluate the situation. Most likely Yonatan will never need to reveal his mistake; best case scenario, David will have an heir to secure his lineage as he ascends to the throne.

***

Years later, as Yonatan lies bleeding out under the stars, his last thought is to wish he’d gotten the chance to tell David about their son.

[mogamuncher]

Brucie is a menace to society: The Thesis

Urrgh the brainworms got to me again, so we're talking about some funky Brucie Wayne headcanons:

• There's a difference between Brucie Wayne interacting with the general public and random rich folks that he isn't too close with vs Brucie Wayne interacting with business partners, friend, or people Brucie is generally a bit more trusting towards

• To the general public and the more distant rich folks? Brucie is a himbo dork, a hot playboy manwhore who donates to charity all the time, a little dumb, a heart of gold, definitely seen as way too naive. Brucie is just a well-intentioned goofball who is very good looking, he's clumsy and kinda adorable, people just generally like him because of his Vibes™. Also just very good with kids, though his habit of adoption is brought up a lot in jokes

• But with long time business partners, friends and people he'd be closer to? Brucie is 100% a smug bitch, absolutely insufferable. He's like, still seem as mostly stupid and vapid, still a manwhore, but as they get to know Brucie more others definitely start to catch on whenever he's just fucking with people. Brucie can no longer get away with pretending like he's naive anymore, because these specific people have 100% caught him saying certain things solely because he thought it would be just so fucking funny

• Because of this, Brucie tends to be more playful with this select group of people, being less of an adorable himbo and more like a loud snarky friend, he's absolutely hilarious if you're actually in on the joke, has an awful habit of teasing others as well

• If you're particularly grouchy or insufferable then Brucie will dedicate the rest of his day to bother you in particular. He can and will just make up any excuse to have a meeting, or to tour at someone else's office, or anything and other to simply be able to annoy bitter people from a close range

• His biggest victims: Oliver Queen, Lex Luthor and Harvey Dent. These three will never know peace, the moment they got close enough to get to the more snarky side of Brucie it was game over. It was really common to see Bruce waltz through parties acting like his normal himbo self, only to do an immediate shift in attitude once he spotted one of them, the press usually found it hilarious

• Lex is the one that suffers under this the most since he's the bitchiest man alive, so Brucie is basically in speed dial to annoy this man 24/7, he's an actual menace about Lex to the point where he will make the trip to metropolis solely to piss Lex off on a completely random Wednesday. They're both the pettiest people to ever exist so the annoyance is actually kinda mutual, but Brucie often wins out since his reactions aren't really fully genuine (on account of being, well, Brucie), something that Lex is endlessly bitter on. To this day no one can tell if they're genuinely actually friends, or if they just hate each other

• Oliver does not get hit by the full brunt of the Brucie Wayne Effect™ as Lex does, but they both still snark at each other all the time, to the point that having a conversation with the two of them present becomes a comedy routine really fast. The accounts of the poor poor survivors that have ever third wheeled their conversations say that it was vaguely reminiscent of being the ball in a game of verbal tennis, as was read in a particularly descriptive article released by several bitter interviewers

• Now, of course Harvey is actually aware that Brucie isn't really fully real, like, he knows that it's mainly a persona, he's actually had full conversations and memories with Bruce instead of Brucie. Still though, Brucie and Harvey are like a menace duo, being targeted by both of them is a sentence to being messed with or manipulated, it's actually really impressive what they can get done together. Of course, they both use their methods for good, and to annoy people that are assholes while still somehow being polite, so it's more funny than anything, really

• Brucie is also just generally more mellow around Harvey, being less snarky and sometimes even quiet, staying in a sweet spot between Bruce and Brucie. Seeing Smug Bitch™ Brucie Wayne chill out a little whenever Harvey was around is a bit surreal to everyone else though, Lex and Oliver will forever complain about it

• Once Harvey became Two Face, Lex and Oliver both actually had some tact (yes, I know right) and gave Brucie some space to deal with it. A week later after the incident Brucie visited both of them with a big confident smile, beer and an invite to a party with only the family friends

• Not much changed after that, Lex is still insufferable, Oliver is still playing along with Brucie's bullshit to some extent, and Brucie is still a menace to society disguised as a harmless himbo playboy. Though sometimes the clear absence of Harvey is felt, especially whenever those quieter and softer moments of Brucie mellowing out simply cease to exist entirely

[steddiehyperfixation]

how to stay with you (steddie ficlet)

written for @steddieangstyaugust day 29: future, and also inspired by this post i saw ages ago

1474 words | rated t | cw: unhappy ending

When Steve and Eddie first got together, they had been young and in love and that’s all that had mattered. At 19 and 20 the realities of the future seemed so far away, so caught up in each other in each present moment that it almost felt like they would never grow up, like time would never pass and they would never have anything to worry about. Conversations of ‘what ifs’ and potential issues were brushed aside, anything that wasn’t an immediate problem dismissed with a kiss and a carefree “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” There was no need for premature concern when surely nothing would ever be so big as to come between them. Because they were it for each other, weren’t they? They were forever, and forever seemed so easy when forever was young.

But the time did pass and they did grow up, and now the bridges they thought they’d never come to are looming before them, fast approaching.

At 25 and 26, they sit at the dinner table in the one-bedroom apartment they’ve lived in for years and Eddie tells Steve about the life-changing phone call he just received. The Hollywood music producer he’s been in sporadic contact with finally wants to finalize a plan and work with Eddie’s band officially, and Eddie is so excited he’s practically vibrating as he rambles to Steve about the album he’ll make and the tours he might go on and how they’re gonna have to start looking for places in LA soon because they have to be local and the producer wants to get started on this by the end of next month. He expects Steve to be excited too, to match his grin and maybe hold hands and bounce around the kitchen with him, but his boyfriend’s expression only falls further and further into a frown with every word Eddie speaks.

“Eddie-” Steve interrupts him, his voice far too serious. “I don’t want to move to LA.”

Eddie’s buzzing energy freezes, stopping short. “What?”

Steve repeats, “I don’t want to move to LA.”

“But-” Eddie frowns. “I was always going to move to LA, that was always my plan. You knew that.”

“Yeah, I-I know. But we always said we’d just cross that bridge when we came to it.”

“Well, we’re coming to it now. So, why don’t you want to move?”

“I don’t want to uproot our life here. And I don’t want to end up having to wait around in a strange city while you’re off on tours all the time.”

“You wouldn’t, you’d come with me.”

Steve shakes his head. “I can’t live like that. And what about when we have kids? That’s no way to-”

“Wait, Steve-” It’s Eddie’s turn to interrupt, all trace of his previous excitement gone, having dropped like a stone into his gut instead. “I don’t want kids. Like, ever.”

Something fractures in Steve’s eyes as he stares at him, almost hurt. “What? Why did you never say anything? You knew- I’ve always wanted kids, Eddie, you’ve always known that.”

“Yeah, I know, I just-” Eddie’s mouth feels too dry and his tongue too heavy as he wets his lips and shrugs guiltily. “I mean, we always said we’d just cr-”

“-cross that bridge when we came to it, yeah,” Steve sighs, a dejected sort of exhale that slouches in his shoulder as if the full weight of this conversation has suddenly settled upon them.

Eddie feels it too, feels them sinking somewhere they can’t come back from. “Is that, uh- is that a dealbreaker for you?”

“Kind of, yeah,” Steve admits, and he looks at Eddie like it devastates him to do so, emotion swimming in his eyes and straining his voice. “Is me not wanting to move to LA a dealbreaker for you?”

Eddie swallows thickly. “Kind of, yeah.”

“Would you ever change your mind?” Steve asks, a last ditch hope. “About kids, or any of it?”

“No,” Eddie says; though he hates to watch the last of the light drain from Steve’s face, he can’t lie to him. “Would you?”

“No,” Steve answers in a barely managed whisper.

Eddie takes a deep breath, and it shakes. His vision blurs. He says, “Then this isn’t going to work, is it?”

Steve stares at him with glassy eyes, like he’s watching Eddie become a ghost right in front of him. His voice breaks as he speaks, “You mean we’re not going to work.”

“Yeah…” Eddie confirms, and it shatters his heart. “I’m so sorry, Stevie.” He reaches for Steve’s hands across the table. “I love you more than anything, I really do, but I won’t give up on my dream, and I can’t ask you to give up on yours either.”

“No you’re right.” Steve breath shudders. His eyes fall to their joined hands and he blinks rapidly, the way he does when he’s trying hard not to cry. He squeezes Eddie’s hands tight, desperate for something to hold on to even as he agrees, “We want different things, incompatible things. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“Exactly…I don’t want to hold you back,” Eddie echoes in barely more than a whisper, afraid if he tries to speak any louder he’ll break into tears.

Steve does break then, a sob escaping from his throat as if it’d clawed its way free, tears spilling from his eyes. Such a cry activates an instinct in Eddie that sends him leaping to his feet and pulling Steve into a hug within seconds.

“I’m so sorry,” he says again. His chest aches and he really wishes this wasn’t happening, hates that he knows that it has to.

“Me too,” Steve manages, head buried in Eddie’s shoulder. There’s no bitterness in it, only heavy acceptance. He knows it too.

They both know there’s no solving this, no compromise they could find that wouldn’t inevitably fester into resentment and regret. Because Steve wants to settle down and Eddie wants to fly - but Eddie isn’t built for the ground, nor is Steve for the sky, and there’s no common place left between them where they could both survive. It’s over.

So they mourn together while they still have each other to take comfort in, clinging tight to what they’re losing, just one last time. Eddie's crying now too, his tears streaming silently down his cheeks in counterbalance to Steve’s sniffly mumbling.

“I don't want to lose you,” Steve mutters. “Are you sure? Are you sure?”

And Eddie cries quietly into the crook of his neck that he doesn't want to lose him either, and he's sorry, so sorry.

When the worst of their sobs subside, they reach the bargaining stage of their grief, and they pull apart just enough to talk properly while still holding onto each other. Eddie swears he'll keep in touch, says he still wants to be a part of Steve's life. Steve makes him promise to send him postcards of all the amazing places he'll go to on tours and to invite him to shows whenever he's nearby. Eddie tells him to invite him to the wedding when - when, he emphasizes as Steve starts to shake his head - Steve falls in love again and finds someone who can give him the life he wants.

At that, Steve sniffles out a laugh, wet and humorless. “That would be cruel,” he says.

“I never said I’d actually show up,” Eddie clarifies, giving an equally complicated smile and bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. “I just want to know. I want to know that you're happy, even if it can't be with me.”

Steve closes his eyes - another tear or two leaks out - and turns his face into Eddie's hand. In a whisper, he agrees, “Okay.”

They decide it would be best for Eddie to leave as soon as possible. Since they've already concluded they won't last, there's no reason for them to stay in the same apartment even just one more night. It would only hurt more in the end.

With a sort of dissociated detachment, Eddie packs up his things, separating his life from Steve’s one piece of clothing and decorations at a time. It's all he can do not to start crying again.

As Eddie turns to leave for the last time, Steve grabs his arm, impulsive, desperate, and begs him for one more kiss. So Eddie turns around and indulges him. He tastes the salt of their tears on their lips, clutching at Steve's waist and tangling a hand in his hair as they both kiss each other like they know they never will again. Eddie savors every bitter taste, memorizes every sweet feeling.

And then they’re out of time and Eddie's out the door, his whole future ahead of him and his heart cracked right in half.

[teapot-of-tyrahn]

MARTYN'S EXPRESSION GETS ME. litlerally live slug reaction.

[hplonesomeart]

Ah nothing stings quite like a doomed friendship. Especially when you’ve got no one to blame except yourself for all those careless, selfish actions that pushed them away. Going as far to hurt them for your own gain. You’ve become the catalyst of your own loneliness. A path you forged willingly. A path you thought would bring you recognition…but it’s only lead to you being forgotten. Irreversibly.

[glitteredbubbles]

A little excerpt from the overly angsty Anderperry oneshot I’m currently working on where Neil and Todd never see each other after Neil’s shipped away for military/medical school until they accidentally run into each other way later (Todd’s a semi-famous poet in it as well):

“I’ve read your poetry, you know,” Neil admits casually after a few beats of silence, as if he’s discussing the weather and not revealing earth-shattering information, while his eyes remain trained on the football game playing in the corner of the bar. Todd knew that he didn’t give a shit about sports, but then again, that was Neil from over twenty years ago, a boy long gone save for the soft brown eyes the man next to him still wore.

Did he know? Could he see right through all of Todd’s poetry, see all of his desperate clinging onto his glory days which were limited to five brief months because of his disappearance? Todd almost wants to lunge at him, wants to throttle this boy-turned-man for getting to know all of the agonies which traced his mind while he was stuck in this dingy bar still not even being able to tell if a smirk or frown was pulling at Neil’s lips.

Of course he doesn’t lunge — when has Todd lunged for anything in his life? — just struggles to not choke on his spit while he manages to rasp out a simple “yeah?” as if it’s a full question. This will be the death of him, he’s decided.

[headfullof-ideas]

Some more headcanon-drawings…things…i have doodles

I actually had these done for a while now, just…never posted them. Idk why. Im trying to get some drawing done today, though for whichever project it’s for, I don’t know

[keydekyie]

"You’ve seen the very worst of me, and you’re still here, and I don’t know why. And it scares me so much, not just because I’m afraid you’ll realize what I am, and that I’m not worth it, but because… because now I’m afraid you won’t."

[spoopy-nevermore-dump]

Hey pssst hey. Have you ever considered: Montada?

I hate it, and it nearly killed my hyperfixation

But I understand my opinion on this may affect others, and many may be hurting from this episode soooooooooo

Art requests open

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Thinking about Jam again and how angsty I can make the next fic after My Girl

Found this on a discord server I'm on lol and immediately went "me and the urge to make angst as angsty as possible"

[fangirlanxiety74]

I feel like this would be nice to know! Whether you’re a slug or otherwise, your partner loves you a lot.

... Sigh.

It is nice to know. It's one of the only things I can still remember, even after all of these years since... Well. (Has it even been years? I don't know.)

Though, I can't remember her face anymore. I can't remember anyone's faces, really. It's been too long since I've seen them. Sometimes, AM will give me dreams. He will make me relive that moment I killed them, over and over. And for a moment, I remember what it felt like. Blood staining my hands. The ice burning into my skin. The way she held onto me, even as she left me.

But I can never remember their faces. He won't allow that.

...

It's a wonder I can still remember them at all. Maybe that's part of his torment as well. That the only people I had left, are now gone. Because of me.

... Well, even so, I remember that she loved me. And as long as I can remember that, it's good enough.

I just...

I hope she knows, wherever she is, I love her too.

(OOC: Thank you for reminding me!!! I'm gonna do separate tags for Ted: If it's normal loser human him, then I'll put 'Ted Talks' but if it's the canon ending when he's a slug, I'll put 'Slug Talks.' And thank you for this ask! Tried not to cry while I wrote it sobs)

[whattraintracks]

28. Broken Vase - TMNT 2012

Little Raph goes out with a crash.

Mikey looks up from his comic at the sound of a crash. Little Raph runs into his bedroom a moment later, and Mikey's just thrilled the tiny troublemaker came to him first. He beckons Raph to his lap, where the kid tucks inside his shell. With a blanket and some adjustment, the lump looks just like a pillow. Mikey snickers, practicing his innocent face for whoever inevitably comes looking for their mini maestro of mischief.

Seriously, five-year-old Raph is the prince of pranks. The same sweet face and small form that nobody suspects make him the perfect accomplice. Mikey had no idea Raph was so devious. He actually has to reign in some of the kid's ideas. Even then, they've gone through more water balloons, silly string, and air horns in the last couple of weeks than Mikey does in a few months. The guys are still setting off bang snaps around the lair.

Pranks or no pranks, Mikey loves getting to spend so much time with Raph. He and Donnie were thick as thieves when they were all little, and these days Leo's his best friend whenever they're not fighting, so it makes Mikey pretty happy that, right now, he's kid Raph's go-to brother. The others will joke about Mikey being easy to get along with because he's the most childlike, yadda yadda yadda. But you know what! Maybe that's not such a bad thing. What's wrong with dressing up, and playing pretend, and arts and crafts and coloring? Is it just 'cause they're a little older now? Mikey couldn't care less. It makes him happy, it makes Raph happy, and that's all that matters.

He gives Raph's shell a little rat-a-tat-tat and settles back to read. He doesn’t get very deep into his stack when he realises two things. First, no one's come calling for Raph. Second, his lapful of turtle is shaking pretty hard, and it's not with giggles.

He lifts a corner of the blanket. "You good, little man?" 

The only answer is a hiccupy sob.

"Aw, buddy,” he winces.

Sometimes Raph's deviousness comes back to bite him. One of their early pranks caught Leo on a bad day. Leo got really startled and almost started embarrassed-crying, and then Raph was devastated and started actual-crying, and it just went downhill from there. So Mikey's been trying to keep their antics harmless and random.

"No one's come looking for you. They can't be too mad," he assures.

Raph just keeps crying. Mikey’s debating if he should ride it out when he has a brief flash of panic. Mentally shaking himself for not checking sooner, he asks, "Are you hurt?"

More sniffles.

"Hamato Raphael," he says in his best impression of Leo's leader voice, "Are you hurt?"

Finally, a thin, watery voice replies, "No." 

"Okay,” he heaves a sigh of relief. “Okay, that's good, little dude." That took years off his life. No wonder Leo acts so old; Master Splinter must feel ancient.

He slumps against the headboard, tugging Raph a little closer. "No worries, you can chill with big bro Mikey until you feel better. I won't let anyone bother you."

Since Raph usually settles down with snuggles, Mikey returns to his comics, mostly at ease. Sure enough, the quaking and sad noises stop by the time he finishes his last one. Oh, hey, it's probably close to nap time.

"What should we make for your pre-nap snack, kiddo?" he asks cheerfully.

No response.

He repeats Raph's name a few times. Poking him gets nothing, too, so Mikey assumes the micro turtle fell asleep. Oh well, there’s no point in waking him now that he’s out. Someone'll feed him when he wakes up hangry.

With nothing to do and pretty hungry himself, Mikey uses his rad ninja skills to slide Raph to the bed—oh, ouch, numb legs, very numb legs—and wobbles out to find some food. Good old 'out of sight, out of mind' takes over, and Mikey promptly forgets about all things Raphael for the next three hours.

He's having a dinner-making-jam-sesh in the kitchen when Leo peeks in to ask, “Have you seen Raph?”

"Hmm?" He tugs an earbud down. "No, not since I left him to nap in my room."

"In your room?" Leo echoes.

"Yep," Mikey pops the p with a smile, "'Cause I'm obviously little Raph's favorite big brother." But Leo doesn't take the bait. He just furrows his brow and heads back the way he came.

Something pings in the back of Mikey's head. An annoying noise he figures is the universe telling him this is important. So he tosses everything into the slow cooker and races after Leo. Mikey follows soft murmuring to his bedroom, where Leo's crouched beside Raph still tucked in, still in his shell. His big brother rubs a gentle hand across the turtle tot's carapace. Raph hasn't moved an inch since Mikey left, and it fills him with anxiety. The little guy's not moving, not making any noise, he can't even tell if he's breathing.

"Little brother," Leo croons, "will you come out and tell me what's wrong?"

Mikey thanks everything for the gasping, whiny sob that echoes out. Leo catches him with a free hand as he stumbles to the foot of the bed.

No amount of coaxing or bribery draws Raph out, so Leo picks him up and motions Mikey toward the dojo. Right. Getting an adult is absolutely the call in this situation.

They trek to the dojo, picking up a fretting Donnie along the way. Bowing as they enter, Mikey's faintly impressed Leo can manage the correct angle with Raph in his arms and without falling over. Master Splinter is kneeling beside a pile of ceramic shards. After a quick rewind, his brain finds the audio of the crash that started this whole thing. His eyes catch on the dusty robe and an old repair kit, and he wonders if Sensei went to the storage room between then and now.

Furry ears flick in acknowledgment. "Sit, my sons."

Mikey's heart twists when Raph's breath hitches. Leo must notice, too. He kneels to face Master Splinter but doesn't let the little turtle go, arms bundling him tighter. Mikey and Donnie kneel on either side of them, and it feels like falling into rank.

Master Splinter watches them settle from the corner of his eye.

"When Raphael was quite young," he pauses, snout twitching, "the first time, that is—he broke this bowl in a fit of anger." He gestures at the dish before him. It's a beautiful gold-veined thing, and it takes Mikey a minute to notice the original interrupted pattern beneath.

Sensei's voice sharpens subtly, "What have I taught you of kintsugi."

Mikey and his brothers recite the old lesson with practiced ease. They could probably repeat Sensei's cultural lessons word-for-word in their sleep, dreaming about a heritage that can never be theirs. Mikey stumbles over his words only when Raph finally pops out of his shell, rubbing at his eyes and curling against Leo.

Sensei nods approvingly. "Things broken in anger can never be fully restored, but they can be made functional again."

He looks directly at Raph, "Tomorrow, you will aid me in mending this vase you have broken, an active meditation on the consequences of your anger. Do you understand?"

Raph bobs his head miserably. Mikey has just enough time to think, that's it?, before Sensei dismisses all four of them.

That evening, Raph hardly says a word. He's not moping, just quiet, reserved, like he's trying to avoid attention. Mikey's heart breaks when even his best jokes and silliest faces can't bring out the smile that usually comes so easy to his little brother. The three elder turtles wordlessly agree to tag team bedtime, and Mikey feels a little better knowing Raph went to bed with big hugs from each of them.

Then, just like that, it’s over. Donnie cracks the reaging agent, and Raph is back in all his slightly-taller-than-Mikey glory before lunch. And it’s great! It’s Raph whole and himself and 100% back to normal, and he predictably insists they forget the little thing ever happened.

Except Mikey can't. Can't stop thinking about how crappy little Raph's last full day with them was and that it's kind of maybe his fault for not noticing it sooner. He dreams that night of a little big brother with golden veins but broken eyes and that no matter how tight he hugs that tiny turtle, his pieces just won't stay together.

He wakes with a shout that gathers all his big brothers. He lunges teary-eyed at Raph—normal-sized, too big to wrap his arms around Raph—babbling half-formed apologies. Leo and Donnie join the hug, and Raph is pressed in from three sides. Mikey prays that will always be enough to mend whatever tries to break him.

[morethanwonderful]

One of the things I think of a lot with regards to John is—why didn't he have any friends in his real life?

None of the beta kids ever seem to mention having irl friends that they miss in the aftermath of the apocalypse. And yeah, they've got a lot of other stuff going on, and it's not really in the narrative's nature to bring up people not somehow involved with sburb, but on a watsonian level, if any of them had other friends that died in sburb's aftermath, you'd think they'd say something about that grief at some point.

It's relatively easy to explain away the other beta kids' friendlessness. Jade lives alone on an island, Dave is Dave (raised in an extremely weird way that does not make him well-suited for regular life), and Rose's mom is strange and rich enough that Rose probably goes to some shitty private school or has an online tutor or something.

But John is such a public school-type kid through and through. He's just some guy. But the more I think about him, the more I'm thinking about why he must not have any friends. He canonically spends most of his time online.

He's into (poorly) coding, shitty movies, online games, and magic tricks, none of which are a particular recipe for popularity—especially not as a twelve year old in 2009. He also has a peanut allergy.

Unfortunately, that's also probably a social strike against him. Schools are historically really bad at dealing with kids with severe allergies. There's decent odds John was eating alone and isolated at an "allergy table."

Overall, he's kind of made for being a run of the mill social outcast. He's not Dave levels of weird, and he might not be horribly bullied, but he absolutely strikes me as the few to no friends sort in a really painfully mundane way. He's just some dweeb. He's painfully sincere and enthusiastic most of the time, yet clearly has some self-hatred issues deep down that he doesn't like to think about.

He likes unpopular things and lives his life online. And pre sburb, at least his online life seems happy! He has good friends! But I can't help but wonder what his hours not at his computer screen were like. It's hard being twelve years old and goofy and awkward and friendless.

All those deeply repressed internalized thoughts about how lame he is have to come from somewhere, y'know?

[chirpsythismorning]

☎️🎲 🤼‍♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️

The Promise by When In Rome

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[gemini-queen42]

Mini Batb: OTH lore dump + doodle :]

So, in Other Than Human Lumiere is both the maitre d' & Princess Eve's ballet teacher- [In-depth explanation/story bit under the cut]. Maestro Forte gets involved via playing the music to be danced to when he can (sometimes there's other people, other instruments- the ballet practices kind of evolved/ get worked out to be these mutually Beneficial practice times)(kinda cool) But Forte is the one who gets most involved with it, and That is the beginning of Lumiere & Forte's.. very strained (questionably) amicable... acquaintanceship...

[I know, I know- Forte's expression isn't giving what it's supposed to... this kind of overall isn't giving what I wanted it to but I'm not. fixing it today so. sorry lads hgjdgk]

[I vaguely refferenced an art piece of ballet dancers from the rococco era for Lumiere's fit and.. mmm . hmm. hrm.]

the way Lumiere became Eve's ballet teacher went something along the lines of this:

little Eve has suddenly become Very Insistent that she MUST learn Ballet ASAP. In fact, she demands she must start lessons Tomorrow at the Latest. Thing is, they don't exactly have a qualified ballet teacher just.. on hand. The princess has expected lessons in ballroom dancing and whatnot but Ballet isn't exactly among that repertoire. And the hiring process is a very thorough one, which especially cannot be properly completed by tomorrow morning starting on short notice this very afternoon (This is the staffing of a Castle, after all- and Cogsworth is a man very dedicated to his job).

Eve doesn't take no, Cogsworth doesn't sacrifice quality- there's a bit of a stalemate. luckily Eve has never learned to be subtle about anything in her entire life and is very, very loud with her displeasure. Usually that's not a postive, but here it's what allows Lumiere to take notice and inquire on what's got their petite Evie so worked up today- and thus learn of the situation.

L: "Well- I could teach her."

C: "...you know ballet?"

L: "Well, I'd sure hope so- I spent my teen years as a professional ballerina."

C: "And what of your duties as Maitre d'?"

L: "Ah, mon ami- you worry too much~ It's only temporary, non? For until you find an actual teacher to hire" (Implied: or until Eve loses interest)

The plan was that Lumiere would serve as Eve's dance teacher temporarily as a perfect solution to satisfy the princess while giving Cogsworth time to be his meticulous self with finding someone who could do it full time- (should this be more than a passing whim of the girls') Of course, that's not how it goes- Time passes, more pressing matters occur for the majordomo, Lumiere has little troubles operating all her duties, Eve & Lumiere work out a good system for them- yippee!

Now lets talk about Forte's Role in all of this:

Forte is our favorite internal Bad Influence. Somewhere on here I've discussed before how a lot of Eve's views were shaped by forces & people that are outside our main servant cast. Forte would be one of those forces and likely the Most consistent.

Forte is the type of guy who thinks "I am more skilled than you, and thus I am Above you." He desires power, and renown, and respect, and not to deal or do things he considers beneath him.

Perhaps the only reason he so easily complies with the whole ballet situation is because the songs are classic, respected things. And often times, he can play what he desires instead- times more focused on the art of creating & matching choreography to the music. That, and it's for the princess.

He is, in a sense, a perfectionist in nature- at the very least, he is one when it comes to criticizing others.

Eve included- although he frames it as something friendlier, as "advice". And Forte's opinions are very much- All the things that feed into all the toxic ideals, behaviors, & issues that ballet has a history of! The pursuit of perfection, perfection down to the bones, perfection that Breaks people.

All the ideas that Lumiere is being SO CAREFUL to keep Eve from falling into- because she's seen what that's done to people. and the princess, with all her flaws, has become like a little sister to her- and even if she wasn't, Still!- but the slope is a subtle one in its beginning seeds, hard to detect if you're unfamiliar- and so Lumiere can't do much to call Forte out on it. Because nothing he says is Blatant enough to do so.

So Lumiere just has to try and counteract it, and hope that either Eve takes her word over Fortes- or Lumiere will notice if things go south.

Except- well, Lumiere is also the maitre d', so she can get busy- and, well, she doesn't really need to be there if Eve is Just Practicing- and.. well, often Forte is there as well, without Lumiere there to respond- and..... Eve can be surprisingly sneaky for certain things.

It is a battle lost and proven to be when the Enchantress makes her entrance, and Eve can hide nothing as The Beast.

There is an undercurrent of guilt, in Eve's mind when she'd blatantly disregard Lumiere's words.

There is an inescapable guilt, in Lumiere's mind when she's realized how she's failed the girl.

[This post feels messy overall so if there's any bits that are hard to read/you don't understand let me know & I'll try to explain/fix them<33]

[nateslehky]

listen.... i love matthew and sasha as much as the next person, but sometimes i really do miss them