#sorry for all the ramble talk im just figuring stuff out again!!!

[audio-of-neopronouns]

somehow tumblr let me queue more than seven audios. maybe it had something to do with being five minutes until midnight (the post count reset time). thank you tumblr <3

[lunarhoneybunny]

sighs. okay tmi posting sorry guys

[arolesbianism]

Mark meeting ded is just gonna be him going btw have you heard of the music producer 8ballin' 👉👈? And ae is just gonna sit there like I've been in every wrong place that you can imagine for the past half a decade you tell me

[sexilene]

can i please request reader going off to collage and not wanting to go and leave rafe, and then he convinces her that its okay not to go and stay with him? if it's a little confusion im sorry!

ive got ya!! xoxo!!! (sorry about any spelling mistakes, im like so beyond sleepy rn idk whyyy!!!!)

"hey baby? where are the suitcases, packed already?” your boyfriend shouts from the hall, wondering where all your stuff that was once out ready to get packed, is gone from where he last saw it.

“uh- almost,” you call back, watching him walk into your room carefully trying not to spill your sleepy time tea in his hand, staring down at the cup until he places it on your nightstand. "did you put em away?-" he begins, before you cut him off,

“ray?”

“yeah?”

“i need to talk to you about something…it’s nothing bad i promise…” your eyes wide and full of an emotion he can't quite place. he stares down at you sitting on the bed, crossing his arms waiting to hear what you've got to say. “okay, what’s up?”

“weeeell, i'm really proud of myself about getting in but i’m still a little nervous about going away…leaving you…” you ramble, avoiding eye contact with rafe. “got separation anxiety?” he laughs, bending down to be at eye level with you.

“don’t joke right now rafe, m’serious!” you whine, going to hide your face in your hands when rafe grabs your wrists ever so gently to direct your attention back on him. “sorry, sorry baby…continue." your boyfriend whispers, softly rubbing the skin on your wrist back and forth with his thumb.

you take a deep breath to keep the tears at bay “i’ve just been thinking about it a lot and i don’t wanna be half away across the country! and of course i know how important college is-”

rafe interrupts you by shrugging and muttering out an “eh,” as if to dismiss the importance of college,

“but…”

“but what, baby?” his eyes innocently looking up at you,

“what if i didn’t go? like i want to, but i don’t and it's all so stressful and i feel like i’m gonna disappoint everyone if i don’t go…” a tear then streaming down your face faster than you can wipe it away to keep him from seeing you cry over this.

your sweet boyfriend's heart twists with every tear that follows, he lets go of your wrists to hold your hands in his much bigger, warmer ones and shushes your fears, “hey- hey okay…just relax a minute kid, if you don’t want to you don’t have to. i say it all the time, can’t fucking wait to put a big ass diamond on this finger. and you won’t gotta worry about anything, cause i promise i’ll take care of you.” he tells you, a smirk on his face, trying his best to reassure you.

“i know but i don’t want to look stupid by being the girl who got into an amazing school but then chose to marry her first boyfriend and stay here!” you realize it's not the nicest thing to say out loud but it is- or would be the truth.

“what’s stupid bout being my little housewife?” rafe furrows his eyebrows, bringing his lips down to kiss every single one of your fingers. “aight listen, i’m so proud of you for getting in and doing the preparation for it but if you feel like your mind has changed that's not a bad thing. im fuckin’ relieved you wanna stay, and if you wanna still go to school there’s always UNC… you’d be closer.” your boyfriend was always very good at reasoning, especially with you. he could calm you in any situation with a couple of wise words and kisses.

“yeah…” you sigh, and wipe your nose with the back of your hand, letting go of his. and sure it's relieving to know that you could always choose to make that decision later, yet the thought in the back of your mind still present, telling you not to end up as another figure eight stepford wife.

and as quickly as the thought crept back into your mind, rafe was able to make it disappear “look, i love you babydoll and im gonna support you as you support me yeah? whatever you want, i'll get it for you you know that... you belong here, with me.” he stands back up again, hands reaching down to wipe the remaining tear droplets on your cheeks gently, to show you he cares ever so much about you and how much he wants to be soft with you- as if you could break like a china doll. “kay, so no tears. did your makeup so pretty today baby...”

your wet lashes sticking together, doe eyes staring up at him with love and admiration. “you’re my best friend ray. i love you, so much my heart hurts.”

“and you're mine, and i love you more than anything ever- and you can sleep on it you know? don't have to make up your mind right here." he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

ᥫ᭡.

[psychesalcove]

who knows how long i've loved you, you know i love you still

♡ leo valdez x fem. reader

synopsis. request!!

tw. nothing i think, just not proofread at all

guess who finally is writing again!! this past month has been soo packed with school and work things—this year is also a hectic scholarship one, so i've been doing that lol. i'm sorry that i haven't been active, lifes just been crazy 😓.

"hi."

you saw leo jump a little from where he sat at the ledge of the fire escape. he turned his head slightly in your direction, but his eyes stayed put on the streets of manhattan. "hey."

the seven were meeting up at sallys apartment—a tradition that had been going on for some time now. you had just come from the kitchen, were everyone was chatting away, minus leo. that's what brought you out here. you somehow always had a nack for knowing where he was; a longing, some said.

you walked over to him, silently asking him if you could sit. he nodded silently, the opposite of how he usually is at these gatherings—talking to anyone and everyone about whatever came to mind. you sat down at the approval nod, mimicking his position by draping your legs over the edge too.

"whats wrong?" you asked, getting straight to the point. leo never got this quiet unless something was wrong, you learned that from your time on argo ii with him. he shrugged his shoulders, eyes following a person walking their dog down the street.

"hey, cmon." you said lightly, bumping your shoulder with his. "i wanna know how to help."

he shrugged again, but this time started taking. "i don't know," he mumbled. "i just, feel weird–i guess, i don't know." he shrugged his shoulders again; must be his favorite gesture right now.

"i think you do know what you feel," you mused, eyes flickering from the across the street apartments to leo. "what's happening in that smart head of yours?" you prompted, ears picking up on percy singing horribly from somewhere inside.

you saw leo smile lightly at your wording from the corner of your eyes, but didn't mention it. "i think it just feels different now, i guess." he started. "i mean, everyone here seems to be figuring out their life. percy, annabeth, you and jason are at college, piper already has a business starting, hazel and frank are doing great at new rome, and then—" he stopped with a breath, shoulders slumping down.

"then i'm here with nothing to talk about. what do i even say? that im just doing nothing cool? i haven't even really starting applying to college, how do i talk about that and sound interesting?" he rambled, hands starting to gesture mindlessly.

you considered this. you haven't even realized that leo felt like this; he always seemed like the most interesting person to you. "you can talk alot about applying to college," you said finally, watching as he looked over and made eye contact with you for the first time since you came out here.

"talk about the collage, what you're thinking of majoring in, stuff like that. gods, you can even talk about joining a frat house; piper would joke about that for hours with you." as you talked, you watched as leo took in your words, though you didn't know if it was helping.

"remeber when i was applying to college last year? i talked about that with you for hours, and you didn't get bored, did you?" you asked. leo shook his head in response pressing his lips together as he thought.

"and, i promise you—i ever swear on river styx—that everyone in there would love to talk to you about anything, especially me." you said, hand coming up to hold his. you don't know where this gesture came from, but it almost seemed natural to you. you squeezed his hand, smiling as he reciprocated.

"thank you." leo mumbled, his free hand coming up to quickly rub at his eyes.

"leo, you better not start crying on me now," you joked, hand still in his. he laughed lightly at your statement, his arm now rubbing at his face instead of just his hands.

"can i hug you?" he asked. before he could even finish his question, you were removing your hand from his and instead embracing him fully. he mumbled something you couldn't pick up, but he quickly hugged you back tigher.

"thank you so much." he repeated, head resting on your shoulder.

[pacisandpuzzles]

When logan regresses, he tends to choose a different side or scheduling mishaps happen or whatever the case may be, but typically virgil never watches logan.

it hurts a bit, but he doesn't like overstepping or making little lo upset— i mean... whenever he sees him in the room, logan literally runs off— so he decides to just be less of a caregiver and more of a cool big brother. he can manage that.

that is until one day a side asks virgil to watch logan real fast while they do some errands. easy enough! they can play with legos and watch tv. virgil can do that without making logan upset.

that is until logan mumbles a quiet little "sorry".

virgil glances over at him. "What was that?"

"'M sorry," logan repeats again. he's fiddling with a lego brick. he's always been a little more shy (and emotional) when he's regressing.

Virgil tilts his head, setting down the instructions he was holding. "Why are you sorry, baby?"

"I know you don't like when I regress..."

Virgil's eyes go wide and he sits there for a second trying to figure out what Logan's saying. "What? "

Logan doesn't look up at him, continuing to stare down this lego brick as if it was his life's purpose. "You don't like watching me."

"What are you talking about?? I love watching you!"

Logan purses his lips. "You always give me to someone else or, um... like when patton said you were gonna watch me on sunday it ended up being roman. and that always happens. you don't play toys with me or watch stuff with me. whenever its time for me to go to bed you never put me to sleep it's always janus—"

the more logan rambles on about all the ways virgil "doesn't like him" he realises that while he was trying to make logan feel more comfortable, since he assumed logan didn't like him, logan has been doing the same thing to him this entire time. logan though VIRGIL didn't like HIM!

"it's okay..." logan voice cracks mid sentence, "i'm not upset." he's very upset. "I just wanted to say sorry... we don't have to play or anything if you dont want to. it's okay." logan's bottom lip trembles and virgil can tell he's going to start crying, but if logan starts crying, then virgil's gonna start crying and he really doesnt want to while he's trying to fix the biggest mistake he's ever made in his life—

"oh my god. it's very much not okay, ducky," virgil blinks back tears. logan's eyebrows crease and he looks over at virgil. "I should never have made you feel that way."

"what?" now it's logan's turn to be confused. curling up on himself. he looks so confused and sad and scared. virgil wants to beat himself over the head with a broom handle.

"I'm so sorry, logan. i love watching you i— i thought you didn't want me to, which is very stupid of me," virgil frowns. "I thought maybe you didn't want me to watch you. I was ... badly attempting to make you feel comfortable."

logan stares at him, trying to process what he's saying, before his entire face crumbles. "so you do like me?"

"oh my god," virgil can't help himself from crying along side logan, "yes, yes, little star, i love you. so so much. im so sorry."

virgil scoops logan up into a big hug, basically squeezing him to death.

[paintedkinzy-88]

Im sorry to bother you. I just wanted to say that I love your COI AU. I love the leo angst in it and the Dragon. I have always loved dragons and this scratches a itch I didn't know I had 😆 I was reading back through the asks and saw where you weren't sure about Leos hoard, and then I saw an ask about how he used to talk with Donnie about getting wings. They would talk about shows like Rio and Gaurdians of Gahool. So maybe his hoard can be birds. Just imagine he has all these bird stuffies and figures because he loves movies with flying because he wants to fly, but his family just assumes he just likes birds. Donnie, of course, knows about the dreams, but leo just always plays it off, so it never clicks for Donnie that the bird hoard is another hint at his need to fly. When his brothers find out the birds make so much more sense to them and the obvious obsession just hits them hard because they never noticed. Just a random thought, lol. Sorry that was really long.

Never a bother to get an ask! I love reading everyone’s thoughts!! I’m glad you enjoy it! (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Ahhhh I really had to think about this for a while, feel how it would fit in the story, and the more I think about it, the more I actually really like that idea, dang it! I hadn’t actually planned on adding hoards, but you guys make it too fun XD

I’m still debating if it’s ooc at all for him... and if I care lmao. So excuse me as I go on a whole ass ramble once again, to get my new thoughts in order, and maybe see if anyone likes it lmaooo.

Everyone knows that Leo’s liked birds since he was a little dragonet, specifically because of what you mentioned: movies! Rio, The Aviators, even Angry Birds, he loved them all! But at the end of the day, Guardians of Ga’Hoole is what started everything. With scenes like this, as a kid who never really thought about what it was LIKE to fly beside Raph and Mikey? That little tot was immediately fascinated.

However, he also really liked Happy Feet before that, for the exact opposite reason: the swimming (Though the music was a bonus too). He was familiar with that, and he was good at it too, so seeing these lil penguins swimming in an ocean instead of the little pool Splinter was able to get for them was HUGE.

So when birds became such an important thing that it triggered his hoarding instincts, why would anyone assume anything was wrong? Obviously that’s where his questions about flight came from! Birds birds birds.

Bird toys, bird figurines, bird pokemon cards, pictures, movies, plushies, books, he was collecting it all!

It wasn’t until he got to see HTTYD or Avatar, (both a little after he finally accepted flying wasn’t an option for him and obsessing over it wasn’t helping), that he realized his hoard wasn’t just limited to birds. Dragons (ACTUAL dragons, not drakes or serpents…), bats, insects, frikkin flying squirrels — suddenly he was aching to get items revolving around those too.

But if he let himself hoard stuff like that all willy nilly, his family would certainly piece it together, wouldn’t they??

He’s able to let a few items fly (pun intended), like a plush dragon here and there because “it looks like Mikey,” a cool pinned butterfly because it’s “blue, like me,” a bat diagram because “there’s no medical poster for dragon wings, we need that in the medbay, obviously!” Anything he can come up with an excuse for.

But anything else? Anything that might raise too many eyebrows? Like that dragon onesie or that giant bat Halloween decor or the whole WoF comic book series??? Either resist the temptation, or shove it under his bed.

Meanwhile, he absolutely gets teased for being “SO into birds” as a dragonet, it became his hoard. But that’s fine, they tease each other a lot, it’s not as if all of his family doesn’t constantly bring him more bird stuff as gifts lmao.

[buddiebeginz]

the way lou hasn't interacted with anything bt related and yet he continuously interacts with SWAT stuff is certainly interesting, also the way Oliver refuses to follow him or discuss BT ever lol. Lou seems like he's less enthused as well about BT. I think even he knows they're bones.

I've been wondering if Lou got the info he isn't coming back already or that if he is coming back it will be for like one episode. It's just his weird behavior online doesn't make sense for an actor hoping to stick around long term on successful primetime show.

People had been calling out his old racist/misogynistic insta posts for a while and he hadn't said anything but for some reason he chose that particular day to respond to that one with a very creepy screenshot about spitting on blind children. Then he blocked Buddie shippers. Deletes some of those old insta posts. Then apart from liking one of the posts where people made him out to be the victim:

he has basically stopped even engaging with his minions now. He's even stopped making cameos. And I don't know if that's because he was told to or just because those fans served their purpose for him and he's moving on to other things.

Buddie or not I've always gotten the impression that Lou doesn't seem too invested in playing T*mmy and even less in playing one half of a queer relationship long term. I think he thought he was signing on to play T*mmy for a few eps and he'd be done by the end of s7. Which I think was originally the plan.

Look at these older cameos from Lou and how he talked about T*mmy and Buddie. Not saying I believe every thing he's said in any of his videos but these were some of the early ones he put out and I think initially he was going more off of where the script was going vs his own headcanons.

https://buddiebeginz.tumblr.com/post/748524266454138880/im-sorry-but-anyone-who-doesnt-see-this-as-tommy

https://buddiebeginz.tumblr.com/post/748034351773646848

But basically he makes it seem like T*mmy is just there to stir things up a bit until Buck and Eddie figure things out. Only they decided to push Eddie coming out and Buddie feelings realization back until s8 (I wrote a post about my thoughts on that here). So they kept Lou in for a few more eps than he was initially signed on for. This also explains why after ep6 we don't see or even hear about T*mmy again until ep9.

But back to Lou based on the rumors floating around my feeling is that he's getting more of prominent role on SWAT which if he's still being asked back for s8 of 911 and the two shows conflict with one another I 100% believe he'd chose SWAT anyday over 911. Not just because SWAT seems much more his style but also like I said I don't think he's invested in playing T*mmy. He's also just not a good dramatic actor especially not for the soft, intimate, emotional moments. Plus why would he take being Buck's bf who only features on the show occasionally and doesn't really get to do the action scenes that the 118 get to do when he could be a main on SWAT and get to do so much more.

No matter what even if the rumours aren't true about SWAT and even if T*mmy comes back for s8 and even Buddie doesn't happen I don't see B/T making it past s8 at all. I'll be shocked if that ship lasts beyond one ep in s8 so there is no way it's lasting longer than Buck and Taylor.

Apart from whatever is going on with Lou Oliver doesn't seem to like him and I think more than anything that will be what ends B/T. Oliver is a talented professional but he's also one of the biggest reasons people even watch 911 and I'm sure ABC knows that. They're not going to force him to work with a scene partner he's uncomfortable with. Plus I fully expect if we see B/T in s8 the lackluster chemistry with them will be even more apparent than it was in s7. So why continue a relationship if the actors don't have the romantic chemistry together to carry it?

Sorry for my long ramble anon. Had a lot of thoughts. Thanks for the message :)

[torchvic]

fuck this *flicks my little magic wand* your obey me cast is all transgender. here are my personal headcanons for that (putting this under a read more because this is A LOT)

the brothers r first because i was thinking abt this for one billion hours:

asmo is genderfluid and i think he'd use she/he pronouns. (we could also argue bigender asmo because that'd be cool also)

he/they transmasc mammon. literally they/them'd in a call and i saw a transmasc mammon headcanon and i think abt it all the time now.

it's been discussed here before but levi is nonbinary transfem. she uses they/she pronouns and i will die on this hill. also uses some type of neopronouns. gamer girlfailure /j (might be femcel. idk it might be the amount of times they use "normie") (i'm in love with her)

belphie is too tired to give a shit about gender. he says "no" if asked. they/it/he maybe. probably uses star/starself neos too cuz that stuff rocks (agender belphie anyone???)

beel uses any pronouns and doesn't rly label his gender i don't think. never really gave it much thought probably but i don't think he cares. love them lots. :3

i don't think satan really cares about gender either BUT i think he could identify with catgender (he/cat pronouns (maybe more) he'd use cat-centric neopronouns this has to be canon)

nonbinary lucifer is canon on my SOUL. they use they/she/he pronouns because they can and will.

then we got the silly goober dateables + small child luke:

diavolo got that demiboy swag and once he discovers neopronouns it's gonna be awesome. he/they/prince pronouns (or any other royal-centric ones)

barbatos is agender. bro is a time master lord guy they do NOT give a shit. they/them and maybe it/its depending on the day

solomon uses them all. every single pronoun. they've lived so fucking long that they just said "fuck it" or something and claimed all of them. he made the genderfluid in his cauldron and promptly drank it. uses neos too but there's a lot that fit here. maybe it's all of them too. i do think xe/xem (and other variations) are used though because i said so

i don't know if angels have a concept of gender or not. they/he simeon though something about him is nonbinary af luv u simeon

i'm not sure for luke because he's like... 10... but again idk if angels really have the gender concept at all (probably not they're supernatural beings. they all are actually). might be a mainly he/him user but doesn't mind it when other pronouns are used. idk the gender because hes a child but maybe he'll figure it out later in life cuz rn he's worried about baking really good treats for michael

last but not least the characters they refuse to add to the system (please im in love with thirteen please PLEASE):

mephisto got that bigender swag idk something about them screams it. i do think they use they/he pronouns though (maybe she/her also, but it depends on the day lawl)

thirteen is transfem i feel it in my bones. she/it/they pronouns. i love her so much. it's my favorite character ever look everyone. obey me devs add thirteen to the intimacy system NOW PLEASE.

raphael is agender bro does not care they will rain their spears on you and then eat solomon's cooking right after to make you physically ill (/lh). uses they/xe :)

thank you for coming to my ted talk and im sorry for the intense rambling <:)

[wasyago]

some rambles about gillion trans headcanons and other stuff

im realizing that i write these posts because i have no one to talk about riptide with, so this is like a monolog that is meant to be a dialog? sort of? the point is, the thought process is unpredictable and this is just everything that goes through my head and not like a structural point or anything and some things are random and not uhhh pretty(?). i dont even know why im writing these disclaimers, no one cares probably?

anyway. so, if gillion was a trans man, how would that work?

did he know from the young age, before the elders even, that he was a boy? was it just an obvious thing for him and his family? was he loved and accepted? and when the elders took him away, did they accept him as well? did they even see him for a kid/a person he was, or did they only think about the prophecy and didn't care what gender The One was? when gillion got older, did he get his top surgery inside the walls of the palace without anyone questioning him or looking down upon? or did he have to sneak out? probably definitely not sneak out, im not sure gillion ever left the palace or seen the world outside much. did he even get top surgery?

that's an interesting question to me actually, because if tritons (in this campaign at least) hatch from eggs, do females even have bigger boobs? technically no, right? do they even have boobs? i mean, they do have chest muscles and stuff, but do they have nipples? the one time i drew gill without a shirt i didn't draw him any, so im gonna say "no" for now. sorry im huge bore when it comes to these types of questions, i don't even know why actually... is it weird?

uhh what was i talking about... so i guess yeah, if female and male tritons don't have that different of a body structure, gillion probably didn't even need a top surgery to begin with. and maybe he didn't experience much in terms of dysphoria, which honestly? good for him, he had enough going on already...

but if gillion wasn't trans before the elders? if he was fine with his gender, he was only five after all, he had better fiveyearold things to worry about. what happened after he was taken away? was it his own realization, just at an older age?

or was it forced on him by the elders? (its definitely a darker concept and would be out of character for the elders, but as an alternative universe I think its interesting as well). because "the chosen one", the hero of the prophecy, the one who will decide the fate of the world and who will protect the undersea, in the eyes of the elders could've only be a man (if they were misogynistic). and when they come to this family and they see a 5 y.o. girl, what can they feel except disappointment? they will try anyway though, because what are they supposed to do? and if they need a man for a prophecy they will get him one way or another...

again, a darker concept, and i think i like it like an au better than a headcanon for the main campaign. because it's ooc and brings up slightly different topics from the original.

at the end i think i wont headcanon gill as trans? (although who knows, maybe I'll come around eventually, we'll see) maybe as nonbinary or a secret third thing though. gillion to me doesn't feel like a "man" man, his gender is "a guy" i don't know how to explain it hdgsbbs (maybe im just projecting idk o_o)

I love it when people hc him as trans tho, its very sweet!!!!!!! and i believe he does have the top surgery scars in the official art? so like, pop off king lets go???? (actually i just checked and no he doesn't, but im gonna think he does anyway)

im a little scared to re read this post and i think i'll delete it later probably, but uhhh yeah... again, just rambling and thinking out loud (not out loud but you get what i mean. writing all this down or drawing something really helps me to think and figure things out, so that's why)

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

hi, sorry if this isnt a good blog to send this to i just dont know where to turn atm (if this isnt a good blog to ask for help plz lmk where would be better, soz). im 22 and figuring out im sapphic & im trying to join online lesbian spaces but everyone seems so anti-babydyke and im starting to notice that being a lesbian is more about discourse and infighting than it is about wanting to kiss a lady. i thought it was about kissin ladies and thats what i want but how do i make other lesbians not hate me? i feel like all of the other lesbians expect me to have a PhD in lesbianism before i call myself that, before i consider a femme attractive, its like i have to pass thru all these hoops to prove myself even to other queers that im a real lesbian because i can name every lesbian historical figure. again super sorry if this is a bad blog to send this to i do not have a clue who to ask about this or anything im totally lost rn lol (genuinely sorry for literally being that annoying baby dyke ppl complain about rn. ignore me if you want im not gonna be tilted. thx for listening

This isn’t a bad blog to send this too. I’m just genuinely sorry you are going through this and I’m sorry if I don’t have a way to help. But I’ll try my best!! And maybe some more people in the comments will be able to help in ways I can’t.

But just know I’m sending you lots of love and that there isn’t anything wrong with you. At the end of the day, regardless of whatever else is happening, your sexuality really is just simply who you are attracted to. And that’s okay. You are enough ♥️♥️

(I’m also going into this assuming you are at least 18+, so I apologise if I’m wrong on that )

Firstly , you aren’t just seeing things. There is definitely a lot of infighting in the community. Like a lot. I would say it’s typically more intense and in your face online then it is IRL, but I’ve also seen IRL gay groups go really deep off the end with with this stuff.

From what I have read and from people I have talked to, this has sadly sort of always been a thing. We just have different waves of it and different things it might be focused on based on the time period and the world events affecting that at the time. I think in general it’s a very human thing that allllll groups do, but when you are in a marginalised, oppressed and small group of people it can feel a whole lot more concentrated and obvious because there is less room for it to go.

Again, this is just based on conversations I’ve had and things I’ve read, so take it with a grain of salt. But there has also been misunderstandings, disagreements and different beliefs on what things are , what they mean and who should do what in the community. Ranging from politics to fashion to marriage to sex to identities around butch/femme and what it means. For one piece saying something you have another saying something different.

This can cause a lot of confusion and infighting amongst people. A lot of tension at times. And because of trauma a lot of people tend to want to be around people with similar alignments in understanding and belief.

A lot of things can affect that like age , location etc.

But none of that is a reflection of you or your worth or your sexuality. And there ARE people in the same boat as you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

There have been waves in the past of some women using and or claiming lesbianism to be a response to sexism. We are currently living in the time after that. And because of that a lot of opinions and thoughts and actions taken place are in a response to that wave. Be it people trying to push it , denounce it , confused by it or hurt by it.

I think this has lead to some of the scaffolding of the current culture we have today.

I understand that need and drive for community and the horrible feeling that can come along when the said community feels like it is in shambles. I feel that way a lot too. And I’m sorry I can’t take that away.

I feel like I’m rambling at this point I’m sorry.

I just want to say though there is nothing you have to prove to anyone. We all figure this stuff out at our own pace. Anyone who treats you poorly for not knowing something or just genuinely not showing interest in it is on them. Your lesbianism doesn’t mean you owe anyone an opinion or a certain way of dressing or feeling. The only person you owe is yourself and that is to show kindness to yourself and be around people who respect you and love you for the wonderful lesbian that you are.

EDIT : I just re-read and you said you are 22 I’m so sorry I missed that 😩

[tomwaterbabies]

I hope the surgery went well and recovery goes smoothly!!! You asked for asks and I saw you have some robo Varian art that's been eating my brain for a few days now. I guess not technically a question but I'd love to hear more about that au if you wanna ramble 👉👈

HEYYY thank you so much! it went really well and the pain is super minimal rn, i can even sit up on my desk! which was recommended by my surgeon to do anyway so thats rad

ANYWAYSSSSS... THANK YOU for the kind words im so glad you like it!! and THANK YOU for reminding me of the fact i never posted about my robot au like i had meant to 💀

here it is NOW (and to anyone who hasnt seen the art here it be)

this is long as hell btw. so sorry

SO. setting i imagine is similar to typical vat7k BUT a little darker and more dystopian. think steampunk industrial stuff... which i know hugo's kingdom is already like lol but just imagine it like. in a lot more places. this is basically a "steampunk" au too

robots are VERY common. invented by a group of scientists with the main ones being donella and ulla

robots are used as service etc etc. theyre not sentient at all so this isnt like. some unethical practice

but ulla and donella are OBSESSED with making them more and more advanced, theyre besties and all that. but ulla is Particularly obsessed with making the Perfect Robot

we know that ulla is kind of messed up in the head. in this au she kind of messes way too much with robot sentience WHILE ALSO getting obsessed with the eternal library. same stuff happens eventually. donella and ulla fight about the eternal library etc etc

BUT ALSO... ulla is working on her Magnum Opus. a son for her and her husband, who she is making to be the perfect robot. quirin is unaware of the shit shes doing and fully trusts her and supports this passion project

and well! she does make the first Sentient Robot. with the use of science and Magical Knowledge she was able to basically give life force through magical means into the robot. The robot of course she named varian. and not only is he sentient, but he looks completely human

she did some messed up stuff tho! again! she's programmed him with fake memories so he thinks he has lived a life fully as a human. he's also programmed to not notice things like the small seams on his body and all that. like his code just immediately disregards all that

anywaysss. after ulla disappears, quirin is dedicated to taking care of varian. he figures it's best to follow with ulla's choice of making sure varian doesnt know hes a robot

MEANWHILE ! because of the schism between ulla and donella, there was some wack shit that happened. namely robots going completely crazy. now all robots are Murder Robots. so the world is pretty Dystopian at the moment

Varian decides he wants to go out and find the source of what made the robots go crazy. bc this sucks lol. like everyone is Just Miserable

so he meets his friends. nuru, yong, hugo!

LETS TALK ABOUT HUGO

hugo works for donella. hugo also absolutely HATES robots. the robots have been messing shit up since he was a kiddo

he's kind of like a robot hunter. harvesting them for parts as well as getting rid of them bc theyre dangerous. usually donella directs him to different missions. and now shes telling him to join this guy (varian) bc she wants the secrets that ulla had hidden and varian is sure as hell after them

sooooo at one point. varian gets hurt maybe, or interacts with something that breaks the code in him or whatever. the code that stops him from noticing his robotic qualities. i think he probably would get super injured and like. he and all his friends stare in shock and horror as some sort of gash or sparks or whatever show a metallic inside

they all find out he's a robot together weeeee. no one is having a good time

so he's living with existential crisis. he's away from his dad so he cant travel all the way back to be like hey What The Fuck. AND he's still dedicated to his goal. but now he's just. confused, scared, and unsure if he's worthy of his humanity that he thought he had

they all try to work with this new discovery (which i think would happen earlier on rather than way later). hugo especially is like. having a crisis. bc he's always hated robots and for good reason. but varian... varian is SO human. he thinks, he feels, he cares, etc. he's more Human than a lot of the Flesh and Blood people he's been around

so you know, hugo starts to fall in love with him anyway. lots of excellent scenes of him helping varian with his mechanics, etc

and of course varian starts falling in love with him too, but is dealing with a lot of confusion as well. like is he even real, doesnt hugo deserve to be loved by a Human and not a Robot, etc etc

ok jesus christ. i think thats all the main stuff. woaghghg

[sco07ut]

what just happened!!!!!!!! s19 rambles (negative) ↓

going to be messy cos im just planning on writing whatever outrageous moments stand out as i go along

first of all????? DOC FUCKING DIED?????????? i literally had to rewatch a few times to realise that’s what they were saying 😟 when the fuck did he die bc doc eas Inside the staff of charon and wash was fuckijg idk?? on the surface of chorus right?? how did doc die saving him what (genuinely someone smarter than me if you’ve figured it out please tell me) bc like the point of the charon fight is that they were stuck in the mementos room right? idk

anyway he was done so dirty i literally do not think there was a reason to reveal doc was dead in the last five minutes

on that note, where was donut?? did he die too ? how long after chorus is s19 set like was that undisclosed location iris or what. did he do his whole ‘tour of the universe’ thing early? like i would’ve been fine with even just a passing comment but they were so vague with it

WHY DID SARGE DIE AND THEN PROMPTLY BECOME IRRELEVANT????? aside from simmons grif & caboose not a Soul mentioned the fact that a whole man was dead. i was so convinced that there would be some big funeral with everyone attending at the end

i did sort of like the plot though, simmons getting a leadership role was kinda fun

tbh i did like simmons this season it was so great seeing him finally get recognition but good grief i cannot talk about simmons without bringing up the ending/lack of grimmons

it makes sense that they wouldn’t get together if grif went home and simmons stayed in the army BUT WHY DID SIMMONS STAY IN THE ARMY?? RICHARD YOU DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING TEAM ANYMORE (on that note. where did lopez go. i’m only just realising that he literally vanished) i’m so insane why did they do that. they could’ve gone home together. and kissed about it idk

i mean i didn’t actually expect grimmons to happen but i thought they’d stay together?? it’s always been them. like that’s the whole point of their characters. every other person who’s been on their team before has died and left them (grif sleeping through being glassed, hammer dying during basic, the red team at rat’s nest and now sarge and donut i guess?????) why did they not stay together

also on the grif family note, the kai cameo was nice (though i will say i do Not understand the point of the whole retro con thing, i feel like it went on for ages, did nothing to set up the plot. the meta could’ve been introduced some other way surely)

also while i’m thinking about it, why did it take tucker/the meta months to get from chorus to a point where he was actively searching for epsilon ?

anyway sorry kai cameo fun but she should’ve had a bigger role idc

it kind of feels like they suddenly realised almost all their female characters were overlooked and they tried to shove them in to be like ‘ohhh look we care about our female characters’ and then screwed them over by making them either insignificant or nothing more than a cameo

with the exception of tex maybe. i fully did not expect her to come back prior to watching but when caboose was like oh help me remember i started to get a feeling it wouldn’t be church. i’m also so glad they addressed the whole ‘created from failure/destined to fail’ thing, tex fuckijg deserved that win. sad that she died though (i wasn’t expecting that either and was like fully geared up to start making post restoration fanart of carolina and tex hanging out and learning how to be friends/family again)

idk i just feel like we missed out on so much stuff due to time constraints, there were so many scenes that should’ve been put in imo like carolina and tex having some sort of moment together, grif and kai having a moment, carolina & wash seeing 479er again

ok wait different chain of thought. everyone was like really eager to kill tucker. there was no moral dilemma of everyone being like ohh beneath the meta hes our friend we can’t hurt him but we still need to take him down what’re we gonna doo. although on second thought it was red team so . yeah the mindless attacking does make sense a bit

new thought again overall it just felt weird like everyone had their assigned pairings and couldn’t acknowledge anyone outside of them?? like during the fights there wasn’t much of a reunion when tex/carolina joined and then wash (and apparently not fucking doc) like idk. i was under the assumption thatvthere would be a sweet little scene where they got the gang back together

whatever man that’s everything off the top of my head. i had no expectations going in and still somehow left disappointed. i Will be making an au version that fits all the things i wanted to see

[dullahandyke]

yippee yippee yippee yippee eimear con haul!!!!

Hi. It was my birthday recently and I'm bad to shop for so instead of gifts I got money to spend at Kaizokucon. So here's a haul. Under the cut bcos I couldnt fit it nicely in one picture and I wanna ramble

ok we're gonna take it one picture at a time ^_^ the ID in the alt text explains what everything is if u just wanna see what i got without the rambling sure to come with it. links in rambling r to the artists of the fan stuff where i can find em ^_^ only one of them is a direct link to the product tho bcos some ppls shops r down and some ppl dont have all their stuff online. lemons_arent_green youre a real one

Ok the flat stuff!!! black rock shooter poster bcos i already have a figure but i liek her... badass anime girl ily.... was so so sure i saw a reigen keychain but when i went to go get one there weren't any so i got this sticker sheet instead :3 SPEAKING OF KEYCHAINS!!! yippee yippee kaguya i love you youre my special little tiempsy. yue you are a gay anime boy with a cool design. tomoyo ive always felt a kinship with you and its because im a desperate dyke. monokuma is here ig 🙄 i put him on my carabiner and hes fun to stim with. i am not immune to the sdr2 fanboying. also full disclosure ive not watched naruto (its in the spreadsheet) i just thought funko pop sasuke keychain was really really funny. my son who stares into my soul. comparatively i dont have as much to say on the badges!! luka luka fever for real girlie ily. the bandori ones were blind bags and i got himari on my first try <3<3<3<3<3<3 sorry eve i kind of dont care. 🙁 the dr girlies i kinda picked at random based on who i've been vibing w lately.

THE POKEMON DIORAMA!!!! its soooo cool, staff were setting up the trade hall so i was in there all day friday and this shop was one of the first to set up their stands and i was literally staring at it all day... so fucking awesome. the rings n the necklace r from the same shop look at them... im fucking obsessed w the catgirl necklace. literally look at her. i dont thiiink shes supposed to be a specific character but she might be. oh well. cat girl ily. aaaand the arisa stand is actually a little clip for papers n stuff!! she was also a blind box but specifically for popipa so i was gonna b happy w whoever <3

MIIIIKUUUUUU MY PRINCESS MY EVERYTHING!!!!! she was calling to me she beckoned..... shes actually rlly big irl shes the biggest figure i have, replacing my kokoro one... shes the one where i audibly said 'it was my birthday i can buy things' bcos figures spencey... she wasnt too bad actually i just like bitching. 6 euro axel for scale

BOOKS 💥💥💥 i was reading nana a while back and i dropped it but i gotta pick it up again... rlly pretty and awesome... aaaand the summer hikaru died!!! kay if youre seeing this then know you posting abt it convinced me <3 i originally got it bcos i was on door duty in a quiet area and didnt wanna spend my time draining battery life on my phone but after i bought it i realised that that was literally a terrible idea so <3 we'll get around to them soon

FINALLLYYYYYY TSHIRTS!!! the top yellow one was my staff t-shirt, it has 'staff' on the back i was wearing it all weekend and yippee i love it.... emotional bond.... and if this is a safe space can i just say. if kaito was a woman? would. next up FAYE FUCKIN VALENTINEEEE!!! do u remember that post i made going thru all the sellers that were gonna b at the con that started like 'i hate shounen fans. name a woman'? well this is the seller i was talking about but all was forgiven in the name of FAYE ! GODDAMN ! VALENTINE ! ugh i love you girlie. and the last t-shirt was given out free to staff after the closing ceremony!! it was the tenth anniversary of kaizokucon so we got this awesomes design yay.... wore it to classes today hoping somebody would comment on it and nobody did 😌and in the middle i got CLOW CARRRDS BITCHES!!!!!! i saw them and immediately all thought left my fucking brain. i needed them. so important. the seller also recognised the axel in my fanny pack yippee!!!! a few people recognised him over the weekend actually and i was always like yes!! the him

anyway. yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! con con con con con :)

[sugar-omi]

it would be really nice if you could put a little note before your rambles if you're going to make the "reader" a girl. you've always been very inclusive in the past, its just not very pleasant to be reading stuff when you're in a not-great headspace, and you expect it to be gender neutral because your writing usually is, but then you get jumpscared by that. not trying to be rude, its just an unfortunately common pet peeve for gender diverse people reading fanfics and i thought you'd understand

I'm sorry you're not in a great headspace, I get it. I've been there.

and I do try to tag it somewhere, especially if it's a long ramble or if it's not obvious in someone's ask that it's clearly (or at least to me) fem/afab aligned. but I suppose I should make more effort into putting that small tag somewhere.

regardless of that though, even if it's not your intention, this is very rude. it seems like you're blaming me for your bad feelings and it's very upsetting. I'm not sure what triggered this message, if it's a build-up from previous posts or because of recent posts. but while I understand, this still feels very rude.

I try to be accommodating all the time. I try to be accommodating in majority of my posts, even if they're afab or amab reader because I know people use different pronouns. I'm agender, and have used he/him pronouns for years, and exclusively used he/him at one point. and at times it was upsetting to have to consciously ignore she/her pronouns or feminine terms when i was feeling particularly *insecure (*for lack of better word)

but this is not my job. I write for fun. and i try to be accommodating because i want to have fun with everyone, sharing good stories and talking about games and such.

I have many, many works, that are gender neutral, and even a few amab/masc reader fics.

but the "I thought you'd understand" is crazy to me. I'm sorry you're having a tough time, again, I've been there. but i am one person. I'd like to, and will write gender specific stuff.

and sometimes, I rely on you guys to read someone's ask (since that's all I've been responding to for months now) and figure out if the post will be gender specific. especially since we've been talking abt pregnancy or raw sex, or breeding kinks a lot for awhile now.

but still, you're right. I should tag it.

and im sorry if reading whatever post it was, made you feel worse. but it's not my job to cater to everyone. I can only do so much. and to me, it's disrespectful of me to make something gender neutral when someone (clearly) wants it gender specific.

please don't try and guilt me for writing gender specific posts. when I make damn near every post on this blog gender neutral/inclusive.

I don't have time or energy to make sure of that. and even if I did, I am not obligated. I appreciate you reading my work thus far, and I thank you for the support. sharing my work and having others enjoy it brings me great joy.

I try to make things inclusive, but it's quite frankly mentally tiring for me to do that all the time.

even though you say you arent tryna be rude, i find this to be very entitled the way you speak beyond the "please tag" point. please do not blame me for your feelings. I will make a conscious effort to tag it from now on, since I'm sure others would like the heads up too. I usually just leave it off since sometimes I expect it to be obvious based on the prompt. but I don't know anymore, maybe I'm wrong.

next time, please leave it at "hey, can you tag your ramblings if they're going to be afab" or whatever.

[cannibal-nightmares]

everything everything is so awesome im glad someone i follow also likes them <3 thats all sorry i just love music

Never any apologies on my page 8D I can ramble about music incessantly, so thank you for your ask; I'm so glad to hear the same that you like them, as well! I've not organically met anyone in person who has heard of them, only friends who've discovered them through me or the wonders of finding shared-interest-mutuals on the internet. "Warm Healer" was my first Everything Everything song I had heard back in 2016-2017ishh; the tone of the polyrhythmic bass guitar INSTANTANEOUSLY hooked me in for good, then their interesting lyrical narrative was swift to follow suit... Also let's not ignore the madness of the fantastic cover art of "Get To Heaven," my god the colors, the design, the lines, the figure... And then, of course, the subconscious love for Radiohead (unknowing this was an element at play until around the release of "Re-Animator" when--to my knowledge--the band was more upfront about their inspirations and it all suddenly made sense).

Before the release of their lyric book, "CAPS LOCK ON," I had a list of B-sides and rarities, including stuff from Modern Bison, which featured Jonathan Higgs and Jeremy Pritchard from EE. On the list was/is "Wizard Talk," which has to be my favourite Everything Everything song on two points: Firstly, as much as Higgs loves to bend and snap vocal capacities with unimaginable peaks of falsetto + fast vocal cadences that leave their music uncategorizable to genre (and etc...), "Wizard Talk" is--in my opinion--unlike anything they've ever put out stylistically. "His voice sounds like he's playing marimba runs," I have repeated to friends over and over and over again, begging people to listen to this song. And then, secondly, comes the profound lyrics of this song. EE loves to play with elaborate metaphors to dance around politics, the state of the world, and social narratives, but "Wizard Talk" feels emotional on a level beyond their common frustrations, especially having been such an early track from the "Man Alive"(?) era, and also in contrast to the stark emotionality of "Re-Animator." Idk man. It hits hard. It's sad. It's hopeful. It's beautiful. You feel the character's defeat and his acceptance in that the hope he seeks is, will be, and always has been abstract in nature while he has spent so much time looking for a concrete and tangible handle to hold onto. It feels like their most vulnerable glimpse at what Jon really has to say. That song has meant a lot to me for a long time, so I am glad EE finally released (some of) the extras from "Man Alive" in the Deluxe re-release.

Ah, anyways, the B-side archive. Something something something, if I remember correctly, there's a few songs missing from the Man Alive deluxe release and even "CAPS LONG ON" is missing a few songs. I won't be cross-referencing this information right now, I'm in bed. Regardless, I will say that a song or two off of the re-release are completely different recording takes and mixes which I find of intruige (again, only if I remember correctly, I think it's at least "The Kids Are Obese" but dooonn't quote me on it..)

Anyways, what else... I've done a ton of art based around EE, some of which is lyrically inspired, others of which are direct tribute art to the band (including a piece to "Magnetophone"!) They're currently sitting at my third-most listened to band of all time, according to my LastFM page. I love them so very very much and I'm so glad you do, too; I hope your ask could maybe inspire others, as well ^^

Can't ask me anything about music and expect a short answer, heh, I still have so much more to say about EE. I am very passionate about music.