#sorry for a short post ;-;

[spirk-trek]

Unification (2024)

[buniix3]

[stalebagels]

Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)

[lotus-pear]

top 10 moments before disaster (dazai is about to step on his toes)

[batfamhastwitter]

Part 24! Oh no guys, Gotham's sweethearts are officially broken up, what will Gothamites gossip about now???

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

[readwritealldayallnight]

im on my knees begging for jealous Simon headcanons 🧎🏻‍♀️

The thing about Simon is, he really has no reason to get jealous when it comes to you, and he knows it

He knows there isn’t anyone else who could make you smile so much your cheeks hurt, no one else who could make you laugh until you claim you’re going to pee your pants, no one else who could make you feel as good as he does, in oh so many ways, because you tell him so

You tell him that those same feelings of being loved, understood, appreciated, and wanted, those very feelings that you make him feel each and every day, he gives them back to you a thousand times over

He knows when you look in his eyes and tell him that you love him, that there isn’t a doubt in your mind that he is the only one for you, and nothing or anyone could ever change that

You’re as smitten with him as he is with you

Still though, Simon does have eyes

And while the logical part of his brain is telling him that he’s got no reason to be gritting his teeth and clenching his fists underneath the table, he can’t help but grow more and more frustrated with the way Soap and Gaz continue to flirt shamelessly with you

To be fair, you had warned him that keeping your relationship a complete secret from everyone would likely result is moments where Simon would have to watch you get hit on, and simply have to grin and bear it

That didn’t mean it was any easier, watching his only best mates try and work their charm on you, all while he sits at the same table and watches you roll your eyes at their advances

“Aw, come on love, just one chance, s’all I ask for!” The handsome, young sergeant practically whines to you, cheeky grin plastered across his features as he tries in vain to convince you to let him take you out some time

“Pfft, ye’d be nothin’ but a waste o’ her time, Garrick. We wouldn’t even ‘ave to to leave base for me to show ye a good time, bonnie.” The Scotsman winks at you, pointedly ignoring the way Gaz elbows him in the ribs at his comment

Throughout the entire exchange, Ghost’s gaze has never left your face, watching every time you scoff and roll your eyes at the men’s antics, reminding himself that you’re his, and he is yours, and the two sergeants are nothing more than pains in both of your asses

Finished with your pitiful meal from the dining hall, you stand from the table with your tray gathered in your hands, flipping your hair over one shoulder as you look towards the men trying to win your affection

“Once again, gentleman,” you say to them, knowing that they’re listening to your every word and watching your every move. “I don’t fraternize with colleagues. At least not the Sergeants.”

The two men groan in feeble protest at the mention of their ranks, having heard this reasoning from you before

“Ach, what if I get myself demoted, lass? I ken I could do that, easy!” Soap teases you, only kind of joking

“Mmm, don’t think that’ll work.” You reply, beginning to slowly walk away from the group, but not before glancing over you shoulder to lock eyes with Ghost and add, “You might have to become a Lieutenant. Those are more my type.”

The two Sergeants are staring after you, slightly gobsmacked, while their Lieutenant hides an overly smug and satisfied grin beneath his mask, shielding the pride that spread through him at your words

“Shite, sounds like you might ‘ave a chance, LT.” Soap laughs, smacking Ghost across the shoulder in a playful gesture, thinking that the larger man would never actually pursue you, let alone sleep in your bed almost every night

It’s a few weeks later when you and the rest of the 141 are all out for drinks at a nearby pub however, when Simon finds his instincts growing stronger than his insecurities

Because that’s just it isn’t it? He’s not feeling insecure when he sees you walk towards the bar by yourself to order a new drink, at least a dozen pairs of eyes watching you weave through the crowd in hopes of making a move on you

He’s not feeling insecure when he watches some tipsy idiot try and pretend he’s drunker than he really he is when he ‘accidentally’ bumps into you, apparently feeling the need to put his hands on you as he apologizes

He’s not feeling insecure when he watches you shove the guy off, reading your lips he knows so well as you tell the guy you’re not interested, nor is he insecure when he knows the idiot won’t give up that easily, likely asking if you’re here alone before you point over to where the 141 have overtaken a booth in the back

No, he certainly isn’t feeling insecure when he sees that the man never bothers glancing back to the table, still trying to land a hand on your body somewhere, when Simon’s instincts take over, rising from his seat without a word to the men who glance his way and ask where he’s going suddenly

He’s acting on pure instinct as he stalks over to you, the crowd parting for his large frame to move by without hesitation, locking eyes with you just as he lands a massive skull gloved hand on the tosser’s shoulder, wringing him around to face him

Your would be admirer isn’t feeling so confident now when he’s staring up at a 6’4” wall of muscle donned in all black apart from the white markings of his skull balaclava

If he were a more jealous man, Simon might take more time to admire the way you can practically hear this idiot gulp over the loud sounds of the music, the way his eyes bulge out of his head and how he looks nearly ready to piss himself on the spot

But your man knows who he is to you, and so instead he shoves the geezer away, turning to face you as one hand lifts up the bottom of his balaclava, just far enough to swoop down and meet your lips in a passionate tangle of tongue and teeth, tasting the alcohol on each other’s breath and the desire in your systems, a kiss that says to everyone else watching, including the bewildered Captain and Sergeants gawking from across the room, that you are his and his alone

[sparrowlucero]

I love the licensed doctor who ttrpg where the author clearly has some sort of personal disdain towards non human or campy player characters but contractually can't exclude them (on account of it's doctor who) so instead opts to passive aggressively bully people out of playing aliens and having funny names

[remxedmoon]

yeah ok buddy

joke stolen from this post 🩶

[turtletoria]

the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid

[ooliecat]

this is the only mouthwashing post i'll make i think

more under

[speltfields]

[concerningly sweaty] i think he'd...grow a beard in the winter...!!!!!!!!!!

[caffichai]

Regular Abyssal Hunter downtime activities

[cvnt4him]

doctor!izu not being able to keep things professional w his patient

after his nurse leaves the room shortly he comes in, welcoming you and checking you up quickly seeing how you are what the problem is and all that jazz. You explain to him the problem youre having, something to do with being afraid of being infertile. You wished you knew what happened, what led you to being fucked against the bed, gown ripped completely off as he plowed you from behind. Whispery sweet and savory things into your ear telling you how well you're taking it and if you don't quiet down you both might get in some trouble. He's a good doctor, honest, it's not as if he's bad at his job he just couldn't help when a cutie like you needed help! His help, nonetheless. He sticks his fingers into our mouth in an attempt to silence you drool and spit tickling down his arm and your chin as you throw your head back arching your back and slamming your ass back against his cock causing a horribly loud slapping sound of your skin connecting repeatedly. Izuku wished he felt guilty about this, but to be truthful he doesn't. He's just helping out a patient if we're being honest! He's gonna fill you to the brim with his creamy milky sticky cum and you'll come back to see if you're pregnant, that way you'll find the results you were hoping for! Like the good doctor he is he helps you put your clothes on and sends you on your way with cum leaking from your cunt, hey, he even gives you a lollipop! How sweet!

[fakakta-art]

can i be so fr with you guys white eyed scarred up jason todd from The Boy Wonder #2 has bewitched me mind and soul

Plate Glass Apology by Apes of the State You broke my heart, I hope you die, emptier than how I feel inside And when you lay your head to rest at night I hope that you Never fall asleep when you think of all the things you do I wish I could just hate you, oh, I wish all of these words I said were true.

[paper-starz]

DID SOMEONE WANT A PUNK JULIE???

She Looks like a dandelion omg

[augustheart]

dcu tumblr dash simulator

😽 evil--boy Follow

i've been basically living at this shitty bar down the street since my breakup. how cooked am i if i'm considering hooking up with captain cold.

🧜‍♂️ flashsolos Follow

we need to start killing opal transplants so they can't come here and make posts like this

😽 evil--boy Follow

i'm from coast city BITCH

🧜‍♂️ flashsolos Follow

70k notes

🐻 whispersindarknessbydianbelmont Follow

does anyone know what this is? saw outside my dorm room today lol, portsmouth OR if that helps. had to take the picture from suuuper far away.

🦇 identifying-superheroes-in-posts Follow

charlie the owl

🐦 identifying-birds-in-posts Follow

Stealing My Fucking Job

199 notes

💅 better-off-bethhunter Follow

ugh i'm so sick of people getting all hot and bothered about whether or not lois lane is hooking up with superman. WHO give a shit. she literally has a pulitzer.

👨🏼‍🦰 real-jimmy-olsen Follow

Showed this to her and she wanted me to tell you it was funny.

💅 better-off-bethhunter Follow

jimmy what if i killed myself. what then

22.3k notes

🏄🏾‍♂️ subdiego-surfer Follow

the first time i heard about dry december i got so scared. i can't even lie to you. i don't know why. i used to live on dry land

🏄🏾‍♂️ subdiego-surfer Follow

stop reblogging this it's embarrassing. what if aquagirl sees this

🐳 future-whale-whisperer Follow

you don't know she hasn't :)

🏄🏾‍♂️ subdiego-surfer Follow

Why Would you Fuckingn say that

871 notes

🦕 bitemejakeketchum Follow

does anybody else remember the absolute fever dream that was the clinton campaign's "titans go to the polls" ads. i kept getting jumpscared by beast boy on youtube

🦍 be4stboy Follow

I don't totally remember whose idea that was, but I think it was the campaign manager's, not the Titans'. I wasn't even on the team at the time and they had to fly me in. Crazy year!

🍀 beastboy Follow

you wish you had my url lol

🦍 be4stboy Follow

Dude. Come on.

99k notes

🎨 nathanieldusklovebot Follow

gorilla grodd could rip your arms off and a gothamite would find a way to pop out of a sewer and make it all about them and their shitty city

💉 punchlinezzz Follow

I'm sorry you can't feel any sympathy for people when they live in what is CONFIRMED the most dangerous city in America. Just say you can't handle the heat and get out of the kitchen.

🎨 nathanieldusklovebot Follow

like clockwork lmao what did i say

🎨 nathanieldusklovebot Follow

OH MY GODDDD THEY RUN A JOKER STAN ACCOUNT. YOU NEED TO LOG THE FUCK OFF

908k notes