#sorry about all the religion talk
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It is odd to me how so many people, including some hardcore Peanuts fans, seem to not acknowledge the connection between the depiction of The Great Pumpkin (or at least Linus' dedication to it) and religious faith.
I mean...in general a lot of people kind of ignore or side-step the role that religion plays in Peanuts. The most I see is usually directed at the recitation of the bible passage of Jesus' birth in the Christmas special, but that wasn't an isolated incident. References to the bible, and quotes regarding it and its morals are displayed at various points in the strips.
I don't believe that The Great Pumpkin was intended to be a stand-in for a religious figurehead initially (according to Schultz it was mostly because he thought it would be funny if Linus confused Halloween and Christmas with each other), but considering that Schultz has a very detailed (as well as somewhat complicated) relationship with Christianity, I think the similarities between the two are more than coincidental.
I will emphasize, I don't mean this in a way that "Linus follows the religion of some demon figure" (if you want to interpret it that way, go ahead, but I personally find that concept way too simplified as well as uncharacteristic as to what I think Schultz is doing here). I see it more as a conversational question about what our relationship with religion and faith is. Is it possible to believe in the existence of something without never actually beholding it? How far will we go in our belief, and is it ultimately worth it in the end?
#sorry about all the religion talk#I was raised catholic so this stuff is kind of embedded into my mind even though I am pretty agnostic-leaning currently#every halloween I end up thinking about this and am disappointed with how few people discuss it despite it being so clear to me#maybe I'm just a hardcore peanuts fanatic but I find there are so many interesting things in the strips/specials that people kind of ignore#or don't engage with#especially if it doesn't concern snoopy like I love snoopy but also the other characters are so good too!!#peanuts#charles schulz#linus#the great pumpkin#squack
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Sometimes it really hurts how some people view my religion
#I may or may not be crying rn but yeah#it hurts#and I know people have been hurt by Christianity and other religions#and that there are a lot of religious people who are not accepting of certain things#and even though what someone said wasn’t aimed at me it still hurt seeing how people see us#I’m so sorry for this rant and Ik no one will care about it but yeah#I have no one to talk to about it atm#I’m sorry for being selfish and if you hate me then please tell me and leave me alone#I’m sorry#no one even reads the tags so what was all this for?#beth rants
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one of the reasons i object to the random assignation of words like "mythology" and "folklore" to some medieval literature (and by random i mean interchangeably and with no real consideration of what they mean) is that when you look at what gets called mythology and what gets acknowledged as literature, it's very othering, it's very noticeable that english and french material generally gets to be literature* and lit in celtic languages is folklore, and it often obscures the actual historical context of that material. in particular it obscures the literate, learned institutions that produced that literature whether courtly or ecclesiastical in favour of attributing it to some nebulous voice of the people that ignores the complex web of influences and powers that shaped those stories
if chaucer isn't folklore then a fourteenth century irish text isn't either. if shakespeare isn't folklore then a sixteenth century irish text isn't either. etc etc. the anonymity of the author does not make it any less a self consciously literary production within a learned environment with influences from classical and contemporary literature written to support political aims or to respond to contemporary events
folklore exists, and is not these texts (it does a disservice to folklore and folklorists to assume you can approach them in the same way methodologically tbh!). mythology exists, and is a difficult-to-discern thread that runs through some of these texts (i find the dindsenchas elements particularly convincing as mythological, but otherwise it's hard to identify what's what, particularly when authors are making classical allusions all the time). but what the majority of these texts are, at face value, is literature. the way that they get othered and made out to be somehow more primitive and magical just bc they're in celtic languages and (usually) anonymous really pisses me off
*arthurian material is the exception but this usually relies on some vague notion of celtic origins so it's actually the same phenomenon wearing a different hat
#oh yeah this is definitely discourse sorry#reblogs OFF replies ready to be shot on sight#there are uses of terms like myth that are more grounded and sound than these uses#they're not the ones i'm talking about#i'm talking about the arbitrary description of any and all irish literature as 'celtic mythology' and/or folklore#and like. not to vagueblog ao3 but. also ao3's garbage tag wrangling contributes to this#i will continue to stubbornly tag my shit as medieval Irish lit#it is not ancient religion and lore. it's a fucking fifteenth century text my dude
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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I do think a good chunk of the 'cringey atheist' stereotype did come from the fact that, especially americans, regardless of their actual religious status are just casually christian and refer to things through a religious filter and that isn't seen for how overwhelming/obnoxious/frustrating it is. Its absense, such as when writing a story and things like "oh god" or other casual references are remove or replaced, is seen as notable the same way people find the cast being all women or queer being 'abnormal'.
And I think more people, especially here on tumblr, should take a moment from ragging on some kid being "cringey" saying god doesn't exist or making atheist jump around like dancing monkeys to establish they're one of the good respectful ones before they ever even begin to talk about their own thoughts, and examine why so much content just inserts god into a conversation that had nothing to do with religion like it's the expected norm, the same way they examine the invasiveness of casual heteronormativity.
#this is just cause an ex christian youtuber i otherwise like refers to any extreme emotional experience as a 'religious experience'#as if everyone can agree on it being so#and theres more than a few posts on here that make me wonder why#so many people are incapable of making something 'poetic' or 'great' without invoking religious imagery#even where it had no relevance#atheism#anyways#ive seen uncomfortably similar treatment that aces in particular have received for pointing out amatonormativity in a post#its rare these days though because atheists have long since been thuroughly shamed in american society as being edgy#which like wooow a christian nation that shames every other religion in some way found a way to shame nonreligious too? shocking#actually i get kinda annoyed when i think about it its one of those propaganda that people casually buy into#without examining it at all#youll see atheists acting like dancing monkeys trying to establish theyre not cringe guys its okay#just to talk about how they feel and think#i remember being a young adult and when someone started talking to me with the assumption of god being in the picture#and id get an eye roll like i was being childish not going along with it nevermind they inserted god into the convo in the first place#without question or comment#and i know it wasnt forceful the same way some ex religious folks can get a bit zealous the same way they were about religion#which theres something to eb said for that zealousness being acceptable when christian but not when atheist or another religion#but ive never gone through such a phase my family has been atheist for several generations now and we were taught to respect beliefs#anyways sorry idk why this is on my brain this afternoon i think i saw a post or smth and it reminded me of that youtuber
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the new jubilee video with Ben Shapiro is so fucking annoying because of course the black leftist says all jews are white, replying “it’s a religion” when Ben tries to correct her, like can we ever get some poc/jewish solidarity with this performative shit. or even, GASP, a black/brown jew. because I’m so fucking tired of this ignorance in leftist spaces, and if the white leftists are too scared to mention it they’re going to have a poc friend that will, because they’re both just as fucking ignorant when it comes to jews. it’s getting clipped and rocketing around social media with people in the comments agreeing and doubling down on the blatant ignorance and antisemitism of the interaction, like thanks guys we really needed MORE of this right now. you’re so fucking helpful, jubilee.
#g talks#I’m sorry but I’m so tired of dancing around this glaring issue#the antisemitism among black leftists is stark and it is vile#and it seems to be fueled mostly by uneducation and genuine ignorance#but there’s SO many black dems that could’ve handled this situation#without having to bring up the debate on whether or not jews are white#just to qualify a moot point#or stab themselves in the foot with ‘it’s a religion’#like bitch if that was true all we’d have to do is convert to save our lives#NEWSFLASH that doesn’t work#those hitler quotes about ‘poisoning the blood’? about jews#hmmmmm why is that????#BECAUSE WE ARENT SEEN AS WHITE BY ANYONE BUT FUCKING LEFTISTS#christ on a bike#antisemitism#mine#/mobile#/okay to reblog
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do american republican politicians understand how truly insane and fucked the way they act and the things they say seem to non-usamericans
#i was talking about this with my mum like specifically the drive to tie in religion so heavily with political campaigning#but generally just the populism and preaching. even if youre an american whos against the whole thing you cant imagine how it all looks#from the outside#shut up ulrike#politag#us politics#sorry for talking about it
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Usually, even a non-Christian knows something about the earth, the heavens, and the other elements of this world, about the motion and orbit of the stars and even their size and relative positions, about the predictable eclipses of the sun and moon, the cycles of the years and the seasons, about the kinds of animals, shrubs, stones, and so forth, and this knowledge he holds to as being certain from reason and experience. Now, it is a disgraceful and dangerous thing for an infidel to hear a Christian, presumably giving the meaning of Holy Scripture, talking non-sense on these topics; and we should take all means to prevent such an embarrassing situation, in which people show up vast ignorance in a Christian and laugh it to scorn. The shame is not so much that an ignorant individual is derided, but that people outside the household of the faith think our sacred writers held such opinions, and, to the great loss of those for whose salvation we toil, the writers of our Scripture are criticized and rejected as unlearned men. If they find a Christian mistaken in a field which they themselves know well and hear him maintaining his foolish opinions about our books, how are they going to believe those books in matters concerning the resurrection of the dead, the hope of eternal life, and the kingdom of heaven, when they think their pages are full of falsehoods on facts which they themselves have learnt from experience and the light of reason? Reckless and incompetent expounders of holy Scripture bring untold trouble and sorrow on their wiser brethren when they are caught in one of their mischievous false opinions and are taken to task by those who are not bound by the authority of our sacred books. For then, to defend their utterly foolish and obviously untrue statements, they will try to call upon Holy Scripture for proof and even recite from memory many passages which they think support their position, although "they understand neither what they say nor the things about which they make assertion."
St. Augustine, De Genesi ad Litteram, emphasis mine
#listen. i know some theistic evolution proponents like to point to this text and try to claim Augustine as one of ours#and i know that's disingenuous#he was writing in the fifth century for crying out loud#what i AM saying (and what many who mire discerningly point to this text are saying i think)#is that it's important to consider the how Christian knowledgeablity and intellectual honesty is viewed by the secular world#for every YE creationist proclaiming that the fossil record is unreliable#there's someone with knowledge on the subject scratching because they know that's simply not true#and subsequently writing Christianity off as a religion of dogmatism and ignorance#now listen. this isn't to say that Christians shouldn't hold controversial positions regardless of what the world says of them#but if you're going to hold those positions around secular folks who may be open to the gospel#you had darn well better think about how you're representing Christ and His Church#that's how I read this passage#and I see it as a serious warning to anyone (me) who wants to talk about Scripture and the mechanics of the natural world in the same breath#all truth is God's truth#pontifications and creations#these tags are riddled with typos but fixing them would be a real pain sorry
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being jewish with zero affiliation to israel and rather a generational line of activists for palestine is a hard line to walk and sometimes i wish i could just fall off
#i hate zionist jews i hate i stand with israel signs in my neighborhood i hate leftists who write and speak and act like theyve never met an#actual jewish person in their life and believe that were all genocidal monsters (in spite of our own genocide which i assume will eventuall#flip around to leftist holocaust denial) i hate that people are blaming israeli civilians for the faults of their deeply corrupt government#i hate that i cant say zionism is inherently antsemitic without getting fucking maimed i fucking hate it here the world is on fire just#fucking let me burn#anyways#sorry#free palestine#any other#jumblr#girlies (gn) relating to my vent#bc im started to feel ashamed of myself my culture and my people#and its such a fucking shitty feeling#like i can barely look in palestine / gaza / etc. tag without seeing blindingly blatant antisemitism coming from left right and center#like just say you hate jews and fuck off#i cant look at this shit anymore fuck#idk why im so worked up about this rn i just. btwn weeding out all the zionist blogs i didnt know i followed and just being so fucking-#and weeding out all the antisemitic leftist blogs i didnt know i was supporting its all just crashing down#im so fucking tired#and im so fucking tired of having to defend myself any time i talk about the jewish experience in any of this#and im so fucking tired of people equating judaism with religion only#and im so fucking tired of the double standard of also equating with only one race#like there arent jews of every race#the reason you cant see any of this shit is because nearly a century later were still dealing with the aftermath of the 6mil person murder#were always at the cross roads of some ridiculous double standard or the scapegoat for when things are going badly#like fuck i just#dont want to have this fucking identity anymore it makes me a walking talking breathing living fucking target#idk what to do I'm just#desolate
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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im actually very pretentious about fantasy religions if ur gonna make a fantasy christianity please combine aspects of existing groups and get weird and sexy and insane wit it and please make up your own shit that has never existed and could theoretically but also dont mix up things that are theologically inconsistent or call x group another when theyre clearly closer to y group bc i will know and i will not be pleased that you didnt do basic wikipedia research. you dont have to exaggerate the bad things churches do the real life horrors are way more compelling to explore and need to see the light of day. if i see you taking obvious insp from one denomination and putting it on another with no consideration with how they actually work im suing you for medical damage. cant tell anyone how churches differ theologically? go back to square one. there are no marian statues in a baptist church. no anglicans are not the same church as the catholic one. yes lutherans and methodists are different. no orthodoxy and catholicism arent the same. no most protestant churches dont have priests. no you dont have to copy and paste the cultish aspects of mormonism into your mainline protestant or evangelical church i promise you its already weird enough you just need to look deeper. but please do go apeshit on mormonism though. they all have specific psychological effects and theyre not the same effects literally ask the people that left. the flavors of trauma will differ ex christians are like baskin robins ice cream. and finally if youre critiquing a religion and your critique isnt vague enough to apply to all of it — get specific. dont just throw spaghetti at the wall, talk your shit but talk it well. i should know exactly what bitch youre talking about so dont be afraid to name drop. much to be said about fantasy christian based cults in media but thats another post
#this is about philip pullman#he cant decide is his evil church is anglican anglo catholic roman catholic eastern orthodox or what#this is directed at other stories as well#now some people who grew up in specific church and write about it know what theyre talking about. the rest of you? no <3#dont be lazy about it. spend hours and hours on wikipedia and websites and download catechisms onto your laptop as reference#basically when stories are all over the place in this aspect its suuuuuper annoying as cringe to me sorry#authors that execute their fantasy christianity well are andrew joseph white. that man knows what’s up#other authors not so much. you can tell who escaped the death cult and who is just complaining#writing#fantasy religion#fantasy catholicism
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I finally understand why atheists who were once catholics write about bones so much
I didn't realize that christian worship was built on cannibalism
maybe I should've expected that when the textbook tried to explain to me the 'eating the flesh of jesus' thing
#my thoughts#tw religion#tw cannibalism#honestly the eating of flesh part isn't talked about enough. catholics are in no position to distrust other religions. they are the most su#if I was in amongus and someone started talking abt eating flesh I mean come on#all religions seem to have some level of hierarchical practice but if we're not talking about the holy wars and shit#(which christianity definitely benefits from)#daily practice and pilgrimage-wise? very surprising curveball from catholicism just saying#sorry it's just so weird to study history and learn that people ate pieces of corpses bc they believed it was holy?#and catholic churches display human remains in plain sight? (is this why they dug up every other culture's bones?)#(bc stealing saintly corpses was fine if you had a good reason to do it so why not foreign tombs)#wow this explains so much about how museums display human remains?#like that's fucked up to me but I guess it's not to christian catholicism#the more you know#history
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anyway i love being asian and i love saying that out loud with my whole chest out. there's so much tradition and history in our culture and when you're in the west sometimes you fail to understand or you miss the sentiment, the reasoning, the point, of certain practices within the culture. either that, or you feel ashamed of them. until you start seeing, for example, white people doing and taking up practices belonging to the asian culture and you, as an asian, are like .... uh ............ what the fuck am /i/ doing being ashamed about it then .......
like. for example, oiling your hair. when i was a kid, my ammi would oil my hair every single time a day before i was going to wash my hair. that act, yes, held so much meaning for the both of us. it was something my naani did to her, so she did it with me. generational. it was our bonding time. it was her teaching me how we look after our hair. and then ... as i grew up, i didn't get my hair oiled by my ammi anymore. when she asked me why, i had said to her back then that i looked greasy and it was so embarrassing because i'd smell of oil when i would go to school and. yeah. she stopped doing it. and my hair got damaged. and its been years and today, i saw my ammi oiling her hair, and she just called me over, and i sat on the floor and she oiled my hair. and it just felt. like a lot. and i felt ... heavy.
and then i realised that despite being in my late twenties, there's still so much left in me to unpack and unlearn and relearn wrt me being asian. i thought i'd gone past that phase. but i haven't. and thats okay!
which is why its so important for me to have ... this space ... i guess ... where i can validate myself. where i can watch things that are asian, made by asians, doing asian things and following the culture so that i too feel comfortable in my own skin. in the people who look like me. in the food i eat. in the clothes i wear. in the languages i speak. in the art and media i enjoy. in all the big and little things i do.
but anyway. i love being asian. i wish i could talk about it more and how much it means to me when i make a deep dive and indulge within my culture and how rooted that makes me feel. i often feel like i've neglected so much of what it means to be asian, but its still not too late. and there's a deep comfort in that.
#faiza talks#sorry yall i had a bit of an out of body moment just now when i felt my ammi's fingers massaging my scalp when she was oiling my hair#and i was trying so hard not to burst out crying in front of her but its been years. not just 2 or 3. but like#over 15 years since the last time we had this moment together and uh yeah. it was a lot lmaoooo.#so yeah thats why this whole entire blog is so focused on asian things. ive wasted too much of my life ig on non-asian things but like.#now i just dont care. i wanna dive into the stories asians tell and the art that asians makes coming out of asia. theres so much to unearth#and ughhh yeah i love indulging in it. idc whether anyone finds it cringe or whatever man like. im past that.#idrc much for the popularity of it either bc theres GEMS hidden away back home that i wanna discover and bring onto this blog.#and then when u get religion + sexuality + culture together (like boyyofgod for example) like. !!!. idk it just means a lot to me.#that my culture can talk about these things and show these things from as ASIAN perspective.#how religion and sexuality (even mental health) is seen in asia isnt the same as it is in the west. so let asians make art about it all!!!!
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very minor thing I still definitely deserve a medal for:
being raised catholic, and now as an adult repeatedly falling in love with characters that fandoms like to declare catholic, but still managing to reject those headcanons because at heart I'm too much of a stickler for accurate analysis to get behind them when i know the person in question is really meant to be anglican/episcopalian/whatever other flavor of christian
i am being, as the poets say, so brave about it
#i dont wanna list examples bc this is just a lil vent post im not looking to make this pop up in any tags & insult anybody#bc tbh some of the worst offenders are absolutely top-tier favorite characters of mine with woefully small fandoms#& the LAST thing i wanna do is be rude about or discourage anyone who posts about/writes for/discusses them#just because i happen to have trouble getting on board with one part of their analysis.#but it does amaze me that this Keeps happening#talk about resisting temptation#& for the record when i say 'raised catholic' i do not just mean christmas and easter catholic okay#im talking 'college was the first time in my life religion wasnt a required subject' catholic#'virtually everybody i knew as a teen went to different single-sex high schools' catholic#horrible uniforms. strict nuns. classes interrupted for masses for even the minor holidays. joined choir for something to do-catholic#as an adult i still have friends & acquaintances who work in/for churches type-catholic#my mom actively tries to hide rosary beads & scapulars in my bags & car every time i come home catholic#(i dont even think most people know what scapulars ARE for christ's sake! & if they think they do they're probably picturing the wrong one#meanwhile i've got a routine list of hiding spots to check for them before driving away)#my point is.#if it made even a scrap of sense for any of these characters to actually be catholics trust me i'd be the FIRST one saying so#bc i know i could write the SHIT out of all the angsty repressed queer guilt religious trauma stuff everyone's drawn to it for#that's like the very least i could get out of having been up to my eyeballs in it for the first two decades of my life#but 99% of the time it just doesn't track w/ what we know about them at all im sorry.#im sorry your moodboard yearns for stained glass saints#im sorry your fic hinges upon a flashback to a certain sacrament#but im just not buying it
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sending guitarspear right back at you lol
I'm love them..... Adam sucks so much and lute is such an asshole and they deserve each other <3
Ok but like seriously I'm like. Adam has lost both his wives, very likely through his own fault as well as Lucifer's interference (no one is perfect or fully to blame in this particular situation, they're all at fault), and while he sucks so much and was handed these things along with being the first man and is generally The Worst .... Losing people who for all intents and purposes were supposed to be with you and love you, that hurts. It hurts a lot.
I don't condone Adams actions or behaviour, but I can understand how losing Lilith and eve, both indirectly to lucifer, would hurt, after he was given the promise of being the First Man and the creator of humanity and all that promise likely entailed.
Honestly, when I think about Adam and what's going on in his squishy little dickface head, it leads me into the same roads thinking about this show always does - is it a person's fault for believing what they're told about themselves? Are the actions they do as a result of this belief that hurt people fully to blame on them?
Heaven and hell do not exist in a vacuum in the original texts. God is not blameless, in my humble opinion, for the events that transpire and lead to the bible we know today. And I don't know how much hazbin intends to fuck around with the original text (Adam can't enter heaven in the Bible cos he committed the original sin and they've already fucked with that) but it's interesting to consider the larger implications of what they have already used and what might come later.
Adam sucks and he believes he is owed a woman's love and subservience. We know he demanded Lilith's subservience from the beginning (but who's telling that story? What are they skewed by? Is Charlie's account of the original story of Eden to be trusted? She is Lilith's daughter, and has only known hell as her home, can we trust what we says the whole time?)
But who told Adam that he was owed that? Was he made with that idea in his mind? Was he told Lilith, and subsequently Eve, would be his? Was he led to believe he could demand these things with no consequences to anyone else's wellbeing?
And if so... Is it his fault if he believes that?
These are the kinds of things I think about with these stories. I honestly don't think the show is intelligent enough or well written enough to properly go into them in a way I would find satisfying, but I do like the implications of some of the writing and what I can think about beyond that.
Anyway, back to Adam and lute.
Adams whole deal is that he's lost women who were supposed to be his, and that hurts as much as he is a dickhead about it. It makes me think that deep down he's lost the ability to trust that anyone will stay and, y'know, actually like him as a person. Yes, he sucks so fucking much, but when you're faced with the prospect of being a shitty person and having no one like you at all, or being a shitty person in control of lots of nice things, who wouldn't pick the second option? He's a human through and through to me, full of petty jealousy and righteous anger and generally a stupid mean dickhead who enjoys being nasty for fun.
Enter lute, who stands next to him with everything. Lute, who is his second in command, who not only tolerates his crass humour and vulgar language but seems to engage with it in her own way. Lute who is wholeheartedly on board with the violent eradication of the sinners, to the point that she absolutely believes people need to die if they can't live to a standard set by someone else (again, who sets this standard and why?)
Lute, who is every bit as awful and horrible as Adam is, and matches him in a way seemingly Lilith or Eve didnt.
Lute, who stayed.
They're not good people and frankly I don't want them to be - to me they're a product of being created to serve a purpose that you really don't have all the answers for and have no say in; Adam to populate humanity, Lute to destroy what heaven deems destroyable and wrong.
Who sets the terms of their existence? Do they have an agenda to fulfill? Some goal they want to reach? How do Adam and Lute, and by extension the exorcists and heaven and hell, play into this? What is the purpose of punishing people, and creating people to punish those, and who creates the rules that mean these punishments happen? By extension, who creates the rules that rewarding people like Adam and Lute happen? Why? And is it their fault if they are wholeheartedly led to believe that they are deserving of the status they have when they very clearly do not have the full picture of the situation at large?
They're so interesting to me and I love them so much.
Also I'm just a sucker for hardass terrible female characters who do not so right things and the sleazebag men they want to jump so. There.
#catfish speaks#this got long but im on mobile so i cant see How long#sorry not sorry you get my thoughts abour religion with all of this#genuinely this show is so interesting to me to think about#anyway. wahoo#theres not quite as much analysis of adam and lute that i wanted to talk about#but ill save thay for fanfiction character studies i think#this is like th meta video essay On the text#the exegesis if you will#the text is the fucked up fanfics ive been writing in my own time#theyre sooooooo. i love them
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I am visiting extended family and experiencing a spectrum of shrimp emotions both positive and negative. Positive because I love them and love spending time with them. Negative for reasons I feel so self conscious about I can’t bring myself to explain them outside of the tags even in my anonymous personal blog. I can’t sleep even though I’m exhausted. every night I’m pacing from anxiety as I try to figure out which parts of me to be honest about and which to conceal for the sake of not? Deeply hurting the people I care about? Even though I haven’t done anything wrong so if they are hurt that’s not on me.
#this post is primarily about whether I confess that I categorically and completely do not believe in the divinity of Jesus#And maybe telling them to stop trying to make my Jewish faith about the guy because that is offensive along multiple axes#So far I’ve been evading things and giving noncommittal answers to their questions but I feel so… dishonest#Not that I owe them honesty. Their questions are not appropriate#But I feel like I’m not being honest and respecting MYSELF by not owning my own deeply held beliefs#And I have no reason not to tell them except fear that they’ll be upset. Even though that reaction would be on them and not on me!#Once I start my PhD in the fall my stipend will allow me to be financially independent. I am exceedingly privileged in that regard#So there’s no financial risk to me if I alienate them to the point of cutting me off. Not that I think that’s remotely likely.#My own immediate family have been really supportive. My mom especially (my brother less so but he’s trying and I think he’ll get there)#But also. Jesus is so important to them that the one thing I could see myself getting cut off from at least extended family over is this#I’m so frustrated with them and honestly hurt by all the Christian supercessionist bullshit they’ve foisted on me this week#Trying to contort my faith into some validation of theirs. Completely steamrollering and erasing all the beautiful and unique aspects of#Judaism in the process. Trying to explain my own religion to me even though I’ve studied it for YEARS#There are some things they’ve said that are so offensively wrong it hurts#They mean well but honestly it makes it feel even worse#I feel bad but… it’s gotten to the point that I viscerally hate any mention of Jesus#Used to feel neutral about him. Could talk about him positively in the name of interfaith understanding#But the more my family tries to force him on me the more I loathe the idea of him#vent#personal#religion#religion tw#sorry I know this is potentially sensitive subject matter for people#Christian antisemitism
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