#sorry I’m actually pissed over this
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you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons
#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups#and the later regrets of the parties involved#anyway. tell me not to text her#it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength#she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life#and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever#going to get back#and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔#the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you#felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way#instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out#so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃#i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least#we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she#like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have#said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me#and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person…#caseyposting
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krypton is a gaping hole in kal-el.
clark kent is, according to his driver’s license and his about me blurb that prints increasingly smaller on his corner of the new dailyplanet.com, a classic sweetheart from western kansas with a bachelors in journalism and a one bedroom half bath three streets and a bus ride away from the daily planet in the heart of downtown metropolis. clark kent is celebrating his recent win - getting the printer to work without the hinge suffering a sheer fracture - with an extra sugar packet in his second cup of joe for the day and humoring his next desk neighbor’s heckling over it.
kal-el — superman — is the man receiving the mayor’s accolades with the world and the laser focused glare of the police chief weighing on his shoulders. according to, kal-el is,
clark kent is the well-meaning dork who never quite grew into his size and was bullied in high school, when asked he recounts being too sickly to join the football team and too unpopular to get over it. clark kent arrives early and works late to work off his four and a half years of student loan debt. clark kent has childhood friends, and an ex-girlfriend, and a budding romance with the abrasive, dyslexic, isn’t-she-just-lovely lois lane at the desk next to him who’s recently recruited him as her partner-in-foiling-crime.
superman — kal-el — has a baby blanket wrapped around his shoulders, a hunk of metal in a barn a couple thousand miles away, and a name with syllables even his mother can’t pronounce. a logo on his chest that he does not know and a dedication to love and truth and saving that is deeply, entirely human.
krypton is an aching absence in kal-el. krypton is the word he carries in his mind for when he fumbles his keys and almost breaks the doorknob, for when he hunches and smears his glasses. krypton is the lack of an explanation. krypton is, simply put, not. krypton is to kal-el not what kansas is to clark kent. kansas excuses the overfriendliness and the impromptu vacation days “to care for his ailing mother” and the handiness with a tractor. krypton is the torch they carry alongside their pitchforks when the bludgeoning begins. krypton is the response when the tragedy is unpreventable, when the wariness pitches into fear.
krypton is the world he holds in his heart when he can’t help but wonder. krypton is the sword his enemies hold over his head — a condemnation, a promise, a hope — and lord over him. the world is trapped in memories not his own, preserved in the perverted motives of those who would trade lives for tradition.
krypton is, later, eventually, a bridge. kal-el, an ambassador from a culture he’s borrowed to the one he was fated. clark kent, a haven. krypton is a girl in a spaceship of her own, fleeing from a krypton that was.
#text✨#capes cowls and crimefighting#superman#dc comics#technically fic????? i guess#fic✨#sorry was pissed off about man of steel and pondering the take on krypton as this thing he *knows* he should know about#this aching hole in his knowledge about himself#that he’s been using for so long as a crutch to support the superman identity that it hardly even has meaning anymore#bc even HE didn’t know what it meant#and then a take on zod as lording this over him. the only connection to a living kryptonian culture being . that#and then finally kara as his gateway to actually learning it#no actual canon here just me being 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥and emotional#fuck the fortress of solitude i know jack shit about it . maybe it’s here maybe it’s not. whatevs#my superfam main is kon sorry folks i just had major sad clark moments for a bit#also i’m an anthro student it’s practically in the job description to be#angsty and sad about culture and world building#wrote this at 4am while Mad. humor me.
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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao
#pepper words#it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge#until it starts to die#I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly#it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines#and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out#u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get#I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork#into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird#i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose#conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines#and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch#and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess#forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg#sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em#but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno#all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol
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some people on this site have no idea what it’s like to face consequences over their actions and it shows. like. it’s bullshit. they get to walk all over people because they happen to be “popular” or have “good graphics/formatting”. a lot of the people on this site pretend to be the victim or goodie goods when they’re really the reason some of us are scared to branch out— the reason we have terrible ptsd induced trauma.
#✦ › ooc#negative tw#this isn’t about any mutual or recent mutuals#It’s about the general state of the RPC and how it actually saddens me#There are so many good people out there who get squashed and shoved around by assholes because they happen to not be as popular or some shi#I’ve seen too many people on this site act like they’re a victim when in actuality??? They’ve been the reason for shit.#They just prance around pretending they can do whatever and they can because the community lets them#It’s sad that the RPC is turning into a less than normal place to make friends because people just want ships popularity or whatever else—#✦ › tbd#Sorry I’m like super pissed about some shit in the past. I wish I could get over it. But it’s hard to with the damages caused.#I’m not a perfect person but ill own up to my shit.
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funny that all the people in my family who walk around in their “kill your local pedophile” and “shoot a rapist” shirts constantly say and do things that perpetuate rape culture
#They don’t give a fuck about the actual problem n shouldn’t be wearing that#They have these male savior complexes and think wearing those shirts makes them good people#but these r the same bitches that DEFENDED someone who molested me and said it was normal n that I was over reacting#Same people who preach about modesty to women and say they’re “uncomfortable” with teen/preteen girls in short shorts bc they can’t not loo#and it makes them feel bad#Like stfu#I’m gonna go fucking crazy one day if I keep having to hear this shit it’s so upsetting#My sister told me I have to just stop taking them serious but I can’t bc my 10 yr old brother is hearing this shit n internalizing it#my older brother heard this shit n that’s why he’s the way he is#they’re teaching this bs to kids so I have to take it serious and argue against them or the kids there won’t know any better#sorry for the rant but I’m so pissed off over this#screaming
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new sketchbook same bs
#sorry I’m obsessed w them#linebeck#jolene#jolene the pirate#jolbeck#it’s so hard to find good content of them I just have to make it myself#the woes of being a manga enjoyer when everyone else uses their game dynamic 😔 /hj#for the record all of my ship art of them is a healthy and happy relationship where they’ve gotten over their misunderstanding#and don’t hate each other. bc honestly I don’t think linebeck ever canonically hates her?#he’s just kind of. afraid of the fact that she wants to kill him. which is an understandable response#and she’s just pissed that he left her and stole from her which is. fair#but then in the manga they both mutually realize the other doesn’t actually hate them and linebeck apologizes#and after he apologizes jolene isn’t mad at him anymore and is shown genuinely caring about him and he finally realizes that she LIKES him#and i just. please I want them to be happy
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The FIA needs to learn that when 1 kid dies on a circuit you need more than just a bit more gravel and a rumble strip
The FIA needs to learn that when a SECOND kid dies at the SAME CORNER more gravel and an extra rumble strip aren’t the answer.
The answer is to take the circuit off the calendar. The answer is to take more steps to ensure that no more kids die. The answer is, instead of dismissing concerns that the corner still isn’t wide enough, test it. Test it so many DAMN TIMES that you have your 1 in 100, and then you make it 1 in 1000.
Because this is the second kid in less than 5 years.
The second kid at the same corner.
And spa will probably still stay on the calendar.
Make it make sense. How many kids have to die before the FIA decides the money isn’t worth it.
#I’m so sick of them#it actually makes me so pissed how little action they take#i mean it’s TWO KIDS in LESS than 5 years#the FIA needs to step the fuck up and get over themselves#the money isn’t worth it if two kids die every five years.#I feel so sorry for his family and Anthoine’s#it’s like a repeat of the Gasly Suzuka episode#the FIA needs to get their fucking act together#dilano van’t hoff#anthoine hubert#fuck the FIA
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#it’s KINDA funny#sorry about south park winter… danganronpa coming soon (maybe. hopefully.)#OKAY RANT ABOUT THE SP FANDOME SORRY!#i hate bitches who hate the quote on quote new south park fans#like south park isn’t the most popular adult cartoon out there#not everyone started liking it JUST because tim tok. it’s a VERY famous show#i watched it when i was little with my parents and i get people pissy i’m a “new SP fan” when they’re like the same age as me??#god forbid people have fun in a fandome anymore#“it’s so cringe” i actually don’t care there is going to quote on quote cringe fans in ANY fandome you’re in#why do you care so much#“matt n tray would hate you/the kids would make fun of you”#matt n trey love their fans and like the fanart. they made a whole ep because of creek fanart#and the kids make fun of everyone#let people have fun who cares if you think they’re annoying new SP fans stop being so misrble ESPECIALLY if u make fun of SP cosplayers#especially if they have piercings and people get piss they make them look different it’s called having fun#okay rant over sorry gang! i saw this picture and thought it was funny mwah#here’s the tags#south park#kenny mcormick fanart#kenny mccormick#art#my art#fan art#digital art#southpark#south park art#Spotify
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sometimes I do need to remember those anti voting posts are not being written about me
#‘they love it as long as they get theirs’ girl I HATE that these are the options#but not voting literally doesn’t do anything#well except 4 move politicians right#but I know that’s in response to the people that are being stupid about it#and saying shit like . ignoring or talking over the clear as fuck issues with the system#like ‘vote to save democracy’ pisses me off too cause this is hardly democratic#and actually also. the us isn’t the only democracy!#I agree that we should vote based purely on a few differences between candidates not because I think that it’ll like. Save the world#I completely agree that these choices are not some solution and in fact suck ass#but I simply don’t wanna make it harder. one of em will be elected#and voting or not voting is a choice.#if you’re gonna say one vote = complicity it goes both ways#I’m sorry that this situation sucks so bad though#oif I could vote to just destroy it with hammers I probably would
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one more post about what’s the right and wrong way to watch/read BSD on my dash and I’ll implode
#what is it with people being all up in arms about which characters others focus on when they engage with BSD#there is a huge difference between understanding and discussing the story as a while which yes of course has sskk somewhere at the center#and engaging with the fandom#you are actually allowed to have favorite characters that aren’t the MCs and you are allowed to make your fics and art all about them…#that is how fandom works….#you find your blorbos and then you go batshit#also not to mention that sskk hasn’t been the focus of the manga in literal years !!! that doesn’t make them Not MCs but it’s natural for#people to care about the characters who have had more presence recently#like I’m sorry you’re bitter that sskk hasn’t had much of a storyline lately take it up with asagiri or god idk#this whole thing where people turn simple preferences into pissing contests over who is the bestest smartest reader is getting TIRINGGGG#pack it up already!!!!#drink a smoothie have some self-indulgent fun!#vts#bsd#vent
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Hire employee: do NOT tell them about the parking situation till their first day!
Charge employees to park in company owned parking garage
Force people with email jobs to sit in traffic 2-3 hours a day and take up a parking spot (to be fair this one is determined by your manager. company allows hybrid and wfh. if your manager sucks then you’re screwed)
There aren’t enough parking spots! Wow if only we could fix this..
Solution: put all new employees on a months long waiting list to get a parking spot
In the meantime they can pay over $50 a week to park
Employees quit??? No one wants to work anymore?!
Pay employees trash but it’s $2 more than 95% of other jobs so we keep attracting new employees
Rinse and repeat
#guys i’m going insane#I’ve been out of that office for over a year and a half now#and I’m still fuckin traumatized#of having to explain THAT whole mess to every new employee#and we hire over 100 people every week#imagine#just try to imagine explaining that over and over#and seeing the dread hit people in real time when they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into#especially the regular employees who aren’t being paid a living wage#the medical people would just get pissed off cause they thought they were too special to be put through that#sorry the thousands of office workers are actually the ones taking up all the parking#and making traffic so much fun 🥰#yay who doesn’t love boomer managers
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sometimes working together on a thesis is like *she cant do her tasks because she’s busy with following classes I guess there’s really nothing else she does* me: oh its fine I get it I’m busy too sometimes you know if I can help you with anything let me know:)) vs. *I can’t do all my tasks on time bc well i work six days in a week and spend three nights a week doing volunteer work and oh because my thesis partner is apparently once again busy with following classes I guess she dumped all her work on my lap* she: oh you should tell me next time if you’re busy cause these tasks are really important :/ you shouldn’t like let them wait so long
#like yeah bitch I know they’re important that’s why I woke up early Monday morning to handle them but if you remember. I couldn’t cause you#did everything you were supposed to do wrong:)) and#then I skipped my lunch because that was the only time I could make free to fix it but couldn’t :)) bc apparently you didn’t even do it#wrong you just didn’t do it you copied it from someone else whose task wasn’t even remotely the same:)))#and like I get that following classes is important I get it but I literally looked up her schedule she’s got at least four half days a week#that she doesn’t have any classes. I’m making literally every minutes I have time to do these things and she can’t manage to make some time#in those four afternoons???? so she dumps them on my to do them all in the one day of the week I got free and have also other things to do#which forces me to literally not eat and sleep to be able to do them????????#I’m so pissed our meetings are literally like me: ‘oh yeah I’ve got an incredibly busy week but I’m sure if I just work longer in the#evening and sleep a little less then I can make an hour free every day to do these interviews’#she: ‘that’s great that you can make time for that! I can’t cause I’ve got a class somewhere that day so can you do like all the work??’#like if she’s gonna dump me for the statistical analysis I’m gonna literally destroy all the data in my wake good luck doing the actual work#all over again next year#sorry I’m probably overreacting#she’s not that bad but she also needs to shut up instead of criticising bc I’m not doing all the work fast enough while she’s ‘so busy’ all#the fucking time#at least I’m doing the fucking work
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fuck you people who fake tourettes fuck you people who say they want tourettes fuck you people who have made having tourettes into smthn cute quirky and desirable!!!!! i’m mad!!!!!!!! fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#this goes for any disorder or anything like. fuck off.#if you think faking this shit doesn’t matter then try like. actually asking ppl that have it???#tried to explain that i had tourettes to my last employer. they thought i was faking it lmfao#bc they had seen people on tiktok faking it so often. they thought i just WANTED to have tourettes. and i didn’t#get the understanding and kindness i deserved until i could explain my dx and who i got it from#so they could know i wasn’t lying. i shouldn’t have to do that much to ‘prove’ my syndromes and disorders#just bc SOME PEOPLE think it’s cool to act like they have shit or they want to have shit. like NO!!! you’re ACTIVELY harming the communities#and you don’t even fucking care!!!!#my tics hurt!!! they hurt so damn bad some days and i’m one of the LUCKY ONES that has gotten less severe with age!!!#and im medicated!!!!!! and i still have days where i just wanna lay down and cry and never leave my room#some of my tics are cute ones. those tics DO exist. i have a few and have had others over the years that are gone now#but then i pop my joints out of place. pop my jaw out of place over and over. snap my head to the side. and again these are MILD compared to#SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE with ts#bet y’all don’t fucking WANT those tics. bet you don’t WANT to be hitting yourselves full force amd bruising ur skin constantly#i’m sorry for ranting in the tags but holy fucking shit this pissed me off#saw some shit on tumblr and tiktok and im. hooooo buddy. fuck you so bad.#ok. i’ll shut up now. tourettes isn’t fucking quirky.#rant tw#tw rant
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Hey guys! Just a reminder I am very much still a person!
#sorry but people are pissing me off today#don’t try and manipulate me into feeling bad for not texting back#I have a memory issue that is genuinely debilitating so no I am not just ignoring you or uninterested#it’s a sure fire way to ensure I will either 1 actually ignore you or 2 block you#and if I say something is over my boundaries stop asking for it!#god some people have no form of respect for the people they want power over#and guess what you don’t own me because we talk or exchange pictures#also why would you ask me if I’m heavily autistic???? what does that even mean????#honestly might not be online much today because of this stuff it’s made me feel really shitty
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using a read more like a discord spoiler bar
my mom sees a woman in a pant suit with short hair and her brain cells stop rubbing together as she starts looping about how weird and confusing and wrong it is to anyone in the vicinity I have heard the same shit 3 days in a row cuz she saw someone on tv for 5 seconds and she keeps telling people about it on the phone
#my mom will say the most trans phobic shit and act offended if i even look at her for it#i may be cis but we’ve been on thin ice for a while girl#at least my dads normal#casually mentioned I’m bi ace over the weekend and that was too confusing and weird for her too#my dad guessed i was ace tho actually so he’s fine#again at least my dads normal#anyway sorry she’s just pissing me off like she does every week#kaylee speaks
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#alexandria froze over update! alongside eroticism and i am also reading inferno with an ethel cain discord server member (how fitting is that) anyways Dante is… ridiculous (positive) I love his mind no matter his intentions. As creating the epic in an original poetic form has my immense respect and awe.
i like analysis as much— if not more that the act of reading itself so inferno is a huge treat in that regard. the fact that astrology girlie knowledge actually counts for something in the epic is making my head spin (positive). i fear i would either knife fight Dante or give it to him upside down crazy style 😭💀
im also setting the poem to be my “final exam” for Italian :33 so that’s something to look forward to !
#mans has my heart mind and pussy for this smh hope bataille doesn’t mind sharing lol#i’ve got to stop talking about dead european men like this but alas….#like bataille doesn’t piss me off the way dante does#in a ‘fuck marry kill’ situation it would be marry bataille and fuck dante if that makes sense#this is probably just pent up resentment as i feel i have ‘met my match’ with dante’s writing#it can’t be all fodder it feels too calculated… i’m too scared to know either way#bataille’s jests and seriousness are easily followed even when they are simultaneous#dante however… I fail to feel assured in his point of view#as an aside I doubt I could actually stand someone like that irl#you could call it something next to needing to be the ‘smartest person in the room’#which is my own fault [that i am fully aware of though i do not resent it or wish to change it (because i am a snob 😔) i am sorry god </3]#evidence of life#alexandria froze over
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