#sometimes you need dumb hills to die on

[humanveil]

love having dumbass hcs for side characters with two lines that i will fight to the death for

[grimeshound]

HWANG INHO NSFW HCS …

cw: 18+, age gap, daddy kink (inho being fatherly …), intox kink, somno, dirty talk, general filth.

a/n: i’m so sorry this came out way too long & messy ,, long & messy…?!?! , may have some typos. i was writing an inho fic but while writing & coming up with possible ideas, i may have gone a little overboard with the hcs… whoops. anyways head full of inho

—-

• has mastered the art of juggling praising and degrading down to a T. when he has you pinned down fucking you stupid, expect to be hearing the filthiest remarks against your ear.

“that’s my pretty girl, so fucking dirty.”

“just a dumb little fleshlight for me to fill, hmm? so, so good. all for me.”

• he calls you his baby, his sweet girl, his angel, & of course, sweetheart.

• possessive is inho’s middle name. but really, is this shocking news?

• inho never would’ve thought himself to have a daddy kink. not like he wasn’t open to the idea, moreso he never thought he’d get the chance to try it. but ever since you came into his life, you gave him the perfect opportunity.

• he took notice of how much his fatherly nature had you wrapped around his finger. you couldn’t help it, really. the way he’s so protective of you, so patient and caring. the day he called himself daddy in bed, you came so hard you could’ve sworn you were on the brink of blacking out.

“my pretty girl just needed daddy to fuck her right, huh? it’s okay, baby. i’ve got you.” he’d murmur, low groans escaping past parted lips as his thrusts turn sloppier, more frantic and messy at the sound of your moans.

• forced intox kink … i will die on this hill. something about seeing you all dumb & drunk, mind clouded after taking a swig of alcohol gets him hot and bothered.

• somnophiliac. he’ll try his best to be gentle at first to not wake you up, but he can’t help getting lost in the pleasure, pounding himself deeper and deeper until your eyes flutter open.

• the times he uses your mouth, you’re woken up by the sensation of being choked, your airway getting tighter and tighter. tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you frantically grip onto him, gasping for air. he’ll just shush you, hands still pressed firmly against both sides of your head as he fucks your throat.

“shh, it’s okay, baby. s’just daddy… go back to bed, angel.”

• on the topic of choking, inho can’t get enough of it. wrapping his hand around your neck during sex, the choked moans that come from you never fails to make his cock twitch. it drives him up a wall.

• he’d never say it outright, but your age gap makes him so fucking hard. just talking about it with him could serve as foreplay, really. he tries to be sneaky with it, mentioning it in passing.

• he mentions how his age is getting to him, or how young and pretty you are, how he’s “practically old enough to be your father,”. you’d say it’s sick, the only problem being you find it equally as hot.

• for someone of his age, he fucks like a madman. you may be the younger one, but sometimes you find yourself huffing trying to keep up with him. he does most of the work, tells you to just “sit pretty and take it.”, but the times when he’s all tired out and still hard? he’ll lay back on the bed, dark eyes fixed on you as he motions for you to ride him. “get yourself off on daddy’s cock, pretty girl.”

and really, how could you turn that offer down?

[hikarry]

I'm not really on the team that swears to Jesus and beyond that Crowley lost his memories after the Fall. Yes, of course, he forgot some stuff because, ya know, he has been alive for more than 6000 years and if I don't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, Satan knows he won't remember every single second of his life, but he remembers the important things

"Ah, but what about him not remembering fighting alongside FurFur or building the thingy with Saraqael?"

Love, I give you two options:

Those are either some of the stuff he didn't consider important enough to remember OR he is just straight up fucking with them. He does remember, but why reveal it if playing dumb sometimes is good in the long run? Might be useful

Alas, I don't know, but I will die on the hill that he does remember

Which means he most probably remembers meeting Aziraphale. Not because Aziraphale was "important" at the time per se, or because it was love at first sight (because it wasnt, not for him. Bro was so focused on the nebula he didnt even introduce himself when Aziraphale did. He threw him a "Right. Nice to meet ya. Anyway, nebula time!"), but because he was there when Crowley created the nebula and, as he said, he had been waiting for that moment since "well, always". It's an important moment for him, so he remembers. Aziraphale just so happened to be present

I don't know if that was the only interaction they had in Heaven or not (and that's not the point I'm trying to get to so I will ignore that problem for a later post, maybe), but when the now Demon Crawley was sent up to the Garden, he did remember Aziraphale. That's why he approached him

Cmon, Crowley isn't stupid. Of course he wouldn't approach an angel on the wall just willy nilly and make conversation. He didn't know Aziraphale had given away the flaming sword yet. Just approaching an angel from behind and morph into a demon next to him out of nowhere could be a death sentence. Or at least an A Line for a good smitting

Yet, he did it. He had at least 3 other angels to choose from but he approached the angel that he remembered from back in the beginning that was kind enough to help him with the engine of the nebula. Hell! I even bet this was not the first time they saw each other in the Garden!

Bet they've seen and observed each other from afar a few times while they interacted with the humans (yes, cause I believe Crawley, before tempting Eve, tried to gain her trust. It's easier to listen to a friend than a random snake) or just around the Garden really.

That's why Aziraphale didn't get surprised when Crawley showed up at the wall, because he knew the demon snake had been around the Garden for a while. He probably even recognized him as the former Star Maker and hoped he was still a little bit of his old self so he allowed himself to engage in conversation

Anyhow, another clue? This:

He remembers how Heaven works. He remembers he was a high ranking angel. Satan, he remembers the bloody passwords!

Do you know what else he remembers?

Cause they didn't throw that line in there for nothing. No, gents. Cmon. Nothing is random in Good Omens

He knows who he was. He remembers being the Star Maker that hung the stars in the sky

He remembers why he fell, for goodness sake

And the fact that he remembers everything makes all of it so much more tragic, doesn't it? He remembers his life before the Fall, his supposed friends that dragged him into the pit with them, what Her love felt like, the "mistakes" he made that led to his Fall

And it must have hurt. It must have hurt so much when he found himself in a pit of boiling sulfur with his wings completely burned and without Her love because he remembered it all. He must have been so bloody confused for so long

He might have regretted it. All the questions and the company he kept that made him Fall. But he doesn't anymore.

He knows he doesn't need Heaven, he doesn't need Hell. They are toxic. All he needs is his pacific fragile existence on Earth with Aziraphale and yet...well, that's something else he won't forget now, is it?

*clears throat*

I rest my case

[bloatedandalone04]

Only You

Summary: You and Rafe drive each other crazy in every way possible, and whenever you get a little too mouthy, he has no problem putting you back in your place.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex, rough sex, toxic rafe, toxic relationship tbh, swearing, spanking, name calling, dirty talk, kinda cruel rafe, but he still loves you, size difference, so ig size kink, possessive rafe, back door touching, bc rafe is an ass man and i will die on that hill.

Rafe was watching you storm around his room, his arms crossed as a smirk formed on his lips. You had once again threatened to break up with him over yet another dumb fucking reason, and he wasn’t having it. He’d let you have it, though. But only for a little bit.

“God, you’re so fucking annoying,” you muttered as you pulled apart his bed in search of your phone. 

Your phone that Rafe had hidden in his back pocket. 

The speakers on his dresser were blaring out loud music, but he still heard you as clear as day. “I know, baby,” he cooed, and his smirk grew when you let out an annoyed scoff.

Your dress swayed with you as you looked around his room for your phone, your brows drawn together in a way that made a cute crease form on your forehead. You were so damn cute and sweet looking, even though you were acting like a spoiled brat at the moment. 

“Are you gonna calm down?” Rafe asked, leaning back against his door as he blocked the only exit of his room. “Or do I need to bend you over and make you calm down?” he added, knowing the effect his words have on you. 

Really, all he wanted to do was strip you bare, eat your sweet, addictive pussy, make you cum on his tongue, then fuck you from behind, but you were acting up like always.  

You huffed, tossing his pillows back onto his unmade bed before beginning to look through the various clothing he had on the floor. “I’m not going to calm down,” you answered, standing back up straight once you realized that your phone wasn’t under any of his clothes. “Where the fuck is it? I know you have it. Or you fucking hid it from me. Where is it, Rafe?” 

Rafe smirked at you as he watched you place your hands on your hips, and it only grew when you pressed your thighs together after not so subtly looking him up and down. 

“I want it, because I’m leaving,” you say, but your voice didn’t sound as convincing as you had hoped it would. “I’m serious. I’m leaving.”

Rafe raised a brow at your threat, a smug grin forming on his lips as he took a step towards you. “Oh really? Without your precious phone?” he mocked, reaching out to grab your chin and tilt your head up to meet his intense stare. “Listen, princess, you’re not going anywhere until we settle this.” 

You glared up at him, but it only further fueled his desire to tame your bratty attitude even more. To show you that you couldn’t live without him, like he couldn’t live without you. 

“And I don’t think you want to leave me anyway,” he continued, his thumb brushing along your bottom lip as he towered over you. “You and I both know how much you fucking love being mine.”

You cursed under your breath, your eyes narrowed as you glared harder at him, but as much as you tried to be intimidating or powerful, you both knew you were only playing it up. “I can’t stand you sometimes,” you mutter, reaching up to fist his shirt in your hands as you move closer to him. “I think I’d fucking hate you if I wasn’t already so fucking in love with you.” 

Then you were pulling him down by his shirt as you leaned up halfway, your lips meeting in a deep, messy and hard kiss. Rafe grunted against your lips, his hands immediately going to your ass. He squeezed it before lifting you up against his body, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist as he walked over to his bed.

He broke the kiss as he tossed you down onto the sheets, his eyes dark and needy as he reached into his pocket and pulled out your phone before he dropped it onto the floor. One of his shirts saved it from being broken as he moved to crawl on top of you, his hardness pressing against your belly as he reached down to grab your wrists. “You’re such a pain in the ass,” he muttered, pinning your arms above your head. “But I love it. I fucking love everything about you, even when you’re driving me insane.”

He leaned down and kissed you a few more times, reveling in the soft whines you let out, before he pulled away and flipped you onto your stomach, yanking your dress up around your hips. He teased the waistline of your panties before pulling them down your thighs, revealing just how wet you’d gotten for him during your fight. 

“Let’s see if I can get you to use that pretty mouth of yours in a better way,” he rasped, his rough fingers digging into your thighs as he spread them wider, exposing your wet pussy to his hungry eyes. 

Rafe dropped to his knees on the floor behind you, his lips pressing soft kisses along the dip in your back before he moved lower. He leaned in and licked a long, slow stripe up your slit, and a low groan left the back of his throat at your taste. 

He fucking loved going down on you, loved how sweet you tasted on his tongue. He loved kissing you, licking you and touching you all over, and coaxing those pretty sounds from your mouth. 

Rafe let go of your thighs, instead letting his hands palm your ass again before he spread your soft cheeks and moaned at the sight of your puckered rosebud. “Fuck, look at you,” he mumbled, dragging his index finger through your folds and teasing your tightest hole. “So pink and pretty, aren’t you?”  

“Rafe,” you whined, wiggling back against him. 

Impatient, as always. 

Rafe smirked and stood back up, pulling off his shirt and tossing it aside. “Not so tough now, huh?” he taunted, giving your ass a firm smack that had you letting out a sharp gasp. “Still wanna leave me?” 

You whimpered and shook your head as Rafe pushed down his jeans and kicked them aside before stepping towards you again. He braced one knee on the bed as he lined up his hard cock with your core, teasing your folds with the head of his dick. “Rafe,” you whined again, and he was growing tired of your complaints. 

So he shut you up as he slid inside you, filling you up entirely in one deep stroke. “Fuck. You’re so tight,” he grunted, his hands gripping your hips harshly as he used them as leverage to fuck you hard from behind. “You’re mine, baby. No one else gets to feel this tight pussy but me. Isn’t that right?” 

You let out a needy moan that sounded like something straight out of a porno at his words, his protectiveness and possessiveness over you never failing to rile you up. “Fuck,” you moaned, fisting his sheets tightly as he slid in and out of you. “Fuck yes, I’m yours…all yours.”

Rafe loved how easily you caved and gave into him, and he reveled in the power he holds over you. “That’s right, baby,” he groaned, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back in. “You’ve always been mine. You always will be.”

You only got louder at that, like he knew you would, and he could clearly hear you over the music that had quickly become background noise. No matter how much you tried to deny it, you loved when Rafe said things like that, when he took control completely. 

He was fucking you hard and rough, sending your body jolting forward with every thrust of his hips. “Take it, fucking brat,” he muttered, running his palm over the reddened skin of your ass before he spanked you again. “This is what happens when you threaten to leave me.”

Rafe’s fingers dug into the skin of your hips as he leaned over your back and pressed his mouth to yours in a rough, dominating kiss that was all tongue and teeth as he claimed you in a different way.  

You moaned against his mouth as you kissed him back, the angle a little awkward and straining on your neck, but you didn’t care. “Is that supposed to make me not want to do it again?” you purred, your voice low and seductive as you pulled away from his mouth, both yours and his lips wet and puffy. “If it leads to me getting fucked like this, why wouldn’t I threaten to leave you again?” 

Rafe growled under his breath as he squeezed your red, sore ass. “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he asked, his deep voice steady as he pulled out of you and flipped you onto your back with little effort. “You’d love to see me chasing after you, begging for another chance to bury myself in your perfect pussy, huh?”

He didn’t let you answer him before he crawled on top of you again, pinning your wrists above your head once more with one hand as he slid back inside you, resuming the relentless fucks of his hips. 

“You think you’re so fucking smart, don’t you?” he rasped, his lips brushing against your ear as his hips hit yours over and over again. “But you’ll never leave me, baby. I’ll tie you to my fucking bed if I have to. You’re mine.”

Your eyes rolled back at the new position, this one allowing his cock to brush against the sweet spot deep inside of you that had your toes curling a bit. “Rafe…fuck, baby,” you moaned, pushing weakly against his hand, but he was a lot stronger than you, a lot bigger than you, so you let him keep your arms above your head. “Feels so fucking good.” you whined, arching your back in a way that had your breasts straining against the fabric of your dress. 

“I know, princess. You’re addicted to my cock, aren’t you?” Rafe taunted, his fingers teasing the thin straps of your dress. Then, with a swift tug, he ripped the flimsy material down the middle, completely ruining your dress beyond repair as he exposed your tits to his greedy gaze. Your eyes were wide as he roughly palmed and kneaded your soft skin, his thumb brushing over your sensitive nipple as he watched the way your chest bounced with every thrust. “Fuck, you’re so gorgeous. So fucking hot, baby.” 

Rafe released your wrists and sat back on his knees, his hands wrapping around your thighs as he spread them wider apart. It gave him the perfect view of your pussy, so wet for him and stuffed with his cock as he stretched you out. “Rafe…oh, God, I’m gonna cum,” you whimpered as you tipped your head back on his bed. 

He grunted, his gaze locked onto your dripping core as he watched you take every inch of him over and over again. “Fuck, look at you. So fucking pretty,” he mumbled, feeling the way you clenched tightly around him. He reached down and rubbed circles over your swollen clit, your cries of pleasure music to his ears. “Mm, yeah, cum for me, baby.”

When he felt your warmth flood around him, Rafe let out a loud grunt, fucking into you a few more times before he came as well. He filled you up entirely, his thrusts becoming less intense and more shallow before he leaned over you, making sure not to put all his body weight onto you.

You both looked debauched and wrecked as Rafe nuzzled your neck, placing softer kisses along your shoulder as he slowly pulled out of you. He ran his fingers through your messy folds before bringing them up to your lips, a lazy smirk on his mouth. “Taste us, baby,”

You licked his fingers, cleaning them of his cum with hooded eyes before you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him down onto you fully. “I can’t believe you ripped my fucking dress,” you mumbled as you ran your fingers through his messy, damp hair. 

Rafe grinned, brushing your hair out of your face before he pulled the ruined material properly off your body. “Well, it was in the way, and clearly it was one of those cheap ones, so I did you a favor,” he murmured, “No way I’m letting my girl walk around in a cheap fucking dress.”

When you pouted up at him, Rafe reached down and tugged on your bottom lip with his thumb, the argument that led to this now completely forgotten about. Like they always are. 

“Don’t worry, baby,” he cooed, “I’ll buy you another one. Or multiple if you’re good.”

[minhosimthings]

Threesomes with Enha's hyung line

Pairings: Fem!reader × Enha hyung line (separate, poly relationships)

Warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, Poly relationship, fingering, oral (receiving and giving), spanking, degradation, hair pulling, edging, slight dom!reader

A/N: guys look I'm really kinda dead rn and I've written the next two chapter of hold me Without hurting me but I DONT WANNA POST THEM I DONT KNOW WHY. So enjoy some of my dumb opinions while I stalk off to the rabbit hole of HeeJake fics (yes even the fluff ones) also it's my first time writing threesomes and I kinda enjoyed it for some reason (no it's not because I like the idea of two people domming my pathetic sub ass nope)

HeeJake/Ramyeonz: Heeseung + Jake

Ok maybe im just biased and too much of a simp for them I am but I genuinely believe they would be the best to fuck at the same time, because of their duality in bed. Like they could be the best degraders or the best praisers, based on your mood. Imagine coming home one day, all exhausted and so needy, to find your boyfriends sitting and watching football. And them, being them, would rush at the image of you pouting and begging, and take you upstairs at the speed of lightning. Hee would go first, obviously with the elder card, and would rile you up and edge you to the brink of insanity, not allowing you to cum, with the reason of "we gotta let Jake get his turn too, right?", whispering in your ear. Jake would be sitting obediently in the corner, boner ripping his pants, getting turned on wildly by the sound of your moans of Heeseung's name. When Jake would get in with you, who was already sweaty and panting, he would give you the greatest pleasure of your tiny life, finishing all the orgasms which Heeseung had refused you. They would also be the best subs for you, calling you mommy and begging to suck on your tits while they layed in bed with you. Of course how could you say no to those adorable Bambi eyes and those breedable puppy ones? And that is why ladies and gentlemen, I think Ramyeonz would be the best to have threesomes with. (I am definetly not biased nope)

HeeJay: Heeseung + Jay

Ahh yes the two oldest of Enhypen. Also known as the softest doms of the dom universe and no I'm not exaggerating. Like they know when you need to have soft comfort sex and when you need to be absolutely destroyed for being the brat that you are. Ngl you being a brat is the best scenario for them because look, as much as they respect you and your sexual space, sometimes they need to fuck you like you're their personal sex toy, and you'd be willing to do that. Imagine, you're just fucking yourself with that expensive pink vibrator from Paris itself, courtesy to Jay not wanting his princess to be bored, and Heeseung just walks in, trying to find his fitness watch, and sees you fucking your cunt, and smirks, leaning against the doorway, and calls for Jay, even though you had begged him not too, knowing that he wouldn't be too pleasured at knowing that you were fucking yourself without permission. And let's just do an RIP to your pussy that day, what with Jay and Heeseung fucking you, one cock in your pussy, the other in your ass, filling up both your holes. Jay would whisper words into your ear from behind, "Fucking yourself were you, kitten? Without your daddy's permission?" And Heeseung would just smirk at you, knowing that you couldn't see Jay's face from behind. And of course your ass is gonna be red as a tomato, after Jay is finished with slapping it. THEY ARE AFTER CARE KINGS THO I WILL DIE BY THIS HILL. jdjksjsb jay just slowly washing you off in the shower and Heeseung putting on your skincare AND YOU JUST GO TO SLEEP WITH TWO HUNKS WITH YOU LIKE GIRL YOU DONT EVEN NEED A BLANKET TO KEEP YOU WARM.

SeungSung/HeeHoon:Heeseung + Sunghoon

Babe. Babe. BABE. Let me tell you THIS DUO IS FOR ALL MY DEGRADATION GIRLIES. Sunghoon's our main degrader and sometimes Heeseung would join in too, telling you that you are nothing more that just their personal sex toy. Angry sex would be the best with them, because duh? Mr Park Sunghoon of Usa just swearing so much into your ear and Mr "playboi" Lee Heeseung whispering the dirtiest shit ever. Heeseung would allow Sunghoon to go first and just sit back and watch as Sunghoon thrusts into you and all you do is whimper, with your hands ties tightly to the bed frame and your legs spread farther than my expectations (they're too far). Sunghoon, of course wouldn't allow you to cum ("Only good girls deserve to cum and you're not much one are you baby?), Until Heeseung gets up, having been getting off in the corner, and leans over your tired face, eyes almost about to roll to the back. "Shh baby." He would whisper, not wanting Sunghoon to hear him, "Hoonie didn't allow you to cum? Aww it's alright, I'll make you cum until it stains the entire bedsheet." And ofcourse Mr Lee would go in with his tongue, having decided that you had enough cock for one day and he made sure, that he got a taste of heaven that night, giving Sunghoon a bit of it too, afterwards.

JayKe/DoubleJ: Jay + Jake

Ahem. AHEM I COMMAND YOUR ATTENTION FOR THE MOST CONFUSING SEX YOU'LL EVER HAVE. Look, Jay and Jake are both sweethearts when it comes to sex and both of them can be like the most sub doms ever. So I'm thinking about you just domming both of them all the time, calling them your good boys. And I have a tingling that they would be THE SHYEST SUBS EVER like they would just mumble whenever they would want something. “Good boys use their words. You’re honestly pathetic.”, say that sentence and they're dead. They would continue fucking against your thigh, when you wouldn't allow them to fuck you , cocks growing red and even more sensitive. “Faster” You would spit, and they would whine yet obey at your commanding tone, hips snapping against your smooth thigh. Their hips would shake and stutter, and it would only be a few minutes. They would be leaking all over you and throbbing, pretty cocks a mess for you. JayKe are for all my dom girlies. (Who I am in love with please dom my pathetic sub ass)

Jayhoon - Jay+Sunghoon

Daddy kink is kinking saur much with this duo. They would love to spoil you so much like you're their little princess. Even under the sheets, they would treat you so much, making sure your cum lasts long. “Go ahead,” you would nod, when they'd wake you up in the middle of the night, begging to fuck you. Jay wouls start to kiss your neck, while Sunghoon would start rubbing your clit, with you moaning into the pillow. Before you know it, Sunghoon would put two fingers in you, while Jay would put his cock in from behind. “You love when we make you feel good, don’t you baby? You're our good girl aren't you? Our princess?” BAM you're dead. (I NEED THEM SO BAD)

JakeHoon: Jake + Sunghoon

Ah yes, the best friend duo of Enhypen. Honestly my brain is kinda short circuiting at what a threesome with them would be like, because they're the complete opposite of each other (as every best friend duo is lol). If you ever made Sunghoon jealous one day and going home he just doesn't talk to you at all and ignores you and ofcourse our Jake, being the sweetheart that he is tries to cheer you up, eating you out upstairs, without Sunghoon knowing and telling you to keep your moans in. But then again, Sunghoon being Sunghoon finds out about Jake having you all to himself and just sits in front of the bed, watching as Jake pushes deeper into your cunt, while your hands are tied to the bedframe and you're still not being allowed to moan to the point that tears start coming out. "I'm done. Wanna finish her?" Jake would say slowly pulling out and wiping his mouth. Sunghoon would just silently nod and get on top of you, spreading your legs, with his nails digging into your skin. "No cumming till I say so, alright?" He would glare into your soul, making you whimper. And the night would will away withe Jake and Sunghoon taking turns to put their cocks inside of you, not allowing you to cum until you're on your knees, begging like (in Sunghoon's words) their dumb cumslut. (Also meow look at the picture sosndnsjwi)

[luvbazkrekker]

SANJI HEADCANONS!

—HOW HE LOVES;;

- all for nothing;; sanji doesn’t do half-measures. If he loves you, he loves you w/ everything he has. He will drop everything to make sure you are happy, sometimes at the cost of his own well-being.

- romance is second nature to him;; Not in a fake, performative way. He just genuinely enjoys making you feel adored. Expect small gestures such as a cup of tea made just how you like it, a flower tucked behind your ear, a hand on your waist when no one’s watching .. etc

- Food is His Love Language;; He will learn your cravings before you even realize you have them. Stressing out? Here’s your favorite dish. Had a long day? He’s already making something warm and comforting. Nothing says “I love you” like a perfectly plated meal with your name written in sauce.

- Always Touching You;; Nothing overbearing, just little things, fingers brushing yours when he hands you a plate, a hand at the small of your back, adjusting your collar because “Tch, you can’t just walk around looking like that.” It’s his way of staying connected.

-Sanji is the embodiment of a walking romance novel at first;; Expect dramatic gestures—roses, candlelit dinners (even if it’s just on the Sunny), and calling you every pet name under the sun (mon amour, darling, my love—it never stops).

- His flirting is still constant, but he gets flustered when you flirt back;; If you casually say something like, “You’re handsome, you know that?” this man will short-circuit. Starts stammering, suddenly can’t make eye contact he was NOT prepared.

��DATING SANJI MEANS..

Late-Night Conversations in the Kitchen;; When the ship is quiet, you’ll find him there, brewing tea or making something light. If you’re up too, he’ll pull out a chair, pour you a drink, and just talk. Those moments feel intimate—just you, him, and the soft glow of the kitchen dim lights.

Being Taken Care of (Even If You Don’t Ask);; Cold? He’s draping his jacket over your shoulders. Feeling sick? He’s already making soup. Had a rough day? His fingers are in your hair, massaging your scalp as he hums quietly.

Dealing with His Stubbornness – He will absolutely not admit when he needs help. You’ll have to learn how to trick him into resting. Maybe you tell him you “just want company” so he’ll sit down next to you. Maybe you grab his wrist before he can light another cigarette and just hold it until he sighs and relents. He won’t say it, but he appreciates it more than he can put into words.

- Watching Him Go from Sweet to Deadly in Seconds;; You know he’s the most charming, caring person, but the moment someone disrespects you? That’s gone. His voice gets low, his smile sharp, and the guy who was just flirting w/ you suddenly finds himself face down on the floor.

—HIS FLAWS;;

- Bottles up emotions;; Acts fine until he explodes—either sharp words or total isolation.

- Stubborn as hell;; Will die on a hill even when he’s wrong.

- Self-destructive;; Would rather suffer alone than let others get hurt (Whole Cake Island, anyone?).

- Overthinks everything;; Acts smooth, but internally spiraling (“Did I sound dumb? Are they mad?”).

- Jealous but won’t admit it;; Plays it cool until someone flirts with you—then suddenly all touchy.

First time making these, it’s just some thoughts… lmk if you want anyone else too!!! :D

[fruitsoxs]

hi socks just wanna let u know i have been thinking about those vashwood as roommates headcanons and i always come back to it cz it’s somehow??? so comforting??? 10/10 chef’s kiss thank u!

it's honestly my comfort au-- so here's a part two ! (here's part one)

Having Vash and Wolfwood as roommates would include(part two);;

warnings;; I included some nsfw headcanons this time. they're at the end and have a warning. This also has a bit of fighting/angst that ends in fluff notes: i have a couple of fics in the work for this au. let me know if there any big moments you would like to see written out into a full fic! (also possibly a knives spin off??)

Their jobs/majors

I kind of feel like Vash is studying in the science department. Specifically something that has to do with plant science? Botany, Environmental science, maybe even biology? I know it’s a little on the nose but I really do think it would work perfectly for him

Maybe he even opens up his own little flower shop in the future??

No matter what he has a lot of labs and he is always tired after them.

He probably has a part-time job as a barista at a little cafe on campus

No thoughts just Vash in a cute little apron

He’s a fan favorite among the college kids. They say he makes the best coffee, and he sometimes gives people little freebies when they look sad

His manager Meryl actively yells at him for it, but she doesn’t actually care that much.

He ALWAYS will give you freebies if you come in to visit him. He gets a free drink as an employee, and he’ll save it for you just in case you come in. Sometimes he’ll even take it to go and drop it off for you

Wolfwood gives huge phycology vibes. Mans had a messed up childhood and wants nothing more than to help other people through that stuff

Either that or he’s an art student. I can see that too

He takes school very seriously, but he is horrible at math. He cannot divide to save his life. He’s had to retake his math class like three times

His job? Well nobody knows and at this point everyone is too scared to ask. (He’s a security guard lol)

Whatever it is, he hates it. He comes home grumpy and needs lots of hugs and kisses.

He’ll be all pouty and pissed off, and then you’ll give him a little kiss on the cheek and a small smile will break out 

Bonus; Knives is on the track to becoming a surgeon. I will die on the hill that he is going into the medical field. (he’d look so good in scrubs) and i know McDonalds knives is kind of funny, but I'm thinking he’s actually and EMT. Imagine getting hurt and having Knives be your first responder (id die on the spot)

First Date

It’s not really a date- well you don’t call it a date. Vash just walks in with a couple of free tickets to a haunted house event thing  and asks if you and Wolfwood want to come

You’re like hell yeah

The drive there is like the calm before the storm. You listen to some music, seated in front with wolfwood driving. He definitely has his hand on your thigh. Vash is super excited about finally doing something that isn’t getting high and playing games

You all thought it was gonna be some dumb little spooky house. They’re never that scary. It’s just fun to see all the decorations and actors

Oh boy were you wrong

It’s so well put together. The actors are really into it, and they have amazing make up. When you’re standing in line, some clown girl walks up to Vash and you watch the regret build up on his face. The guy is already terrified

The first hallway is pitch black, and you have to rely on a feeling your way through it. Vash is mumbling about how much he hates it the entire time

Wolfwood is like “Don’t worry guys I’ll protect you.” And then proceeds to let out the loudest scream when the lights come on and there’s a girl dressed up as a ghost standing there

Soon all three of you are huddled up, holding hands, and shaking

These things should not be that scary!!!

It’s Vash who gets you kicked out

He gets so spooked that he runs into a bunch of boxes and knocks one of the fake walls down. The entire thing has to stop to fix it

You’re all banned

After that you go eat pancakes and complain about how scary it was

When things get tense

Fights can happen sometimes

None of you are perfect, and those boys have gone through some shit

Vash tends to shut himself away from you when he’s upset. He doesn’t come out of his room, and when he does he pretends like he’s fine. 

He doesn’t like burdening other people with his problems.

Eventually it just starts to feel like he doesn’t trust you enough to let you in. SIt gets really bad when he tells you to go away one day, and you watch Wolfwood walk into his room 30 minutes later

It doesn’t really turn into a fight. You just get sad, and even a little insecure. So, you avoid him back. Not because you’re vengeful, just because you feel hurt

A few days of the two of you not talking and Vash is in tears by your door

He begs for forgiveness and explains why he’s like this

You tell him it’s okay, but what he does really hurt you. He promises to work on it, and he does

That night the two of you make up for loss time

Wolfwood and you fight a lot more

Most of the time it’s silly little arguments that you solve pretty fast

Wolfwood is bad at communicating in general. But especially when it comes to his feelings

He has really bad days sometimes, and he can get grumpy really fast these days, and one day you really piss him off

He won’t tell you what you did though, he just gives you the cold shoulder

That pisses you off because you’d so be willing to talk it out and apologize, but he won’t tell you what you did 

So you’re mad now too

Things are tense between you too, and it all comes to an end on movie night when you start arguing about what movie to watch

You want to watch one of your favorite movies from your childhood and he says that it’s a stupid movie

Things get heated fast, while Vash just disappears into the background. He that the two of you need to workout your problems on your own (but he really wants to intervene) 

When the tears start falling, Wolfwood immediately stops

He takes a breath, and the two of you sit down and just talk. 

You talk ALL night about what happened, and what the two of you could have done better. In the end, you fall asleep on his chest while he plays with your hair. 

You have movie night the next night to make up for it, and he puts the movie you wanted to watch in before you can even talk about it ( he ends up loving the movie and after that you two watch it all the time)

Id have to make an entire other thing for when Vash and Wolfwood fight because it’s no fun for anyone

NSFW stuff

After the three of you finally get past the awkward stages and start fucking, you find out these two are…horny

They’ll grab you and go to town any time

They really like to share you, but there’s no jealousy in the relationship so it’s okay for one on one time as well!

Wolfwood will pull you into steamy make out sessions whenever. He’ll do it out of nowhere. I imagine he just really likes you, and can’t get enough

He’s very handsy. He’ll constantly have his hand on your hips, or your thigh, and your waist. He likes touching you

He’s the type to sneak risqué touches in public. He like watching you struggle to not let anyone else know what he’s doing

Quickies everywhere with Wolfwood

Vash is a lot more loving (not that Wolfwood isn’t loving– he probably has cried during sex) 

Vash takes his time though. He wants every moment with you to be special. He likes to do stuff like rubbing your back, and peppering kisses down your shoulders. He’ll run his hand up your shirt, and kiss your neck softly. He builds up to it

He really likes shower/bath sex. It’s intimate and relaxing

He also like when you take control (i know he’s a whimperer)

He is so bad at any type of public sex though. He gets embarrassed way too easily (and i think Wolfwood has fun with that) 

When the three of you do it together it’s fucking electric 

[kravchikfreak]

i feel like sometimes people would come up with some cool headcanons and interpretations, but then they'll convince themselves that it's literally shown canon with no place for doubt and then they'll act as if everyone else is dumb for not consuming the media the way they do it

(i guess i'm guilty as well, but i'm allowed to cause i'm actually right all the time)

like the second season of arcane got tons of criticism for bad writing, and, naturally, there're people who would defend their favorite show just cause THEY interpreted it in a way that makes sense to the point that when i go to arcane criticism tag to see what problem other people have with the show i also see show's defenders who pissed not everyone sees it as they do

and um i mean it's fine, i get it, we are all the same, just in different camps, whatever. but i have a story. one time i had to do coursework and i barely touched it before the last night before deadline came. and i thought to myself "welp i really need to work on it now, i only have 8 hours left" and when i turned on my laptop and was about to open up the files the power went out in the entire building. and my laptop had a shit battery that worked for like 1,5 minutes without charging. so i thought it was kinda funny and called my mom and told her "see? the only time i decided to do something studying-related and this happens. universe must be trying to send me a sign" and my mom went like "yeah, a sign that you need to try harder! despite all the obstacles that might come to your way"

so, who out of us two doesn't have a sign literacy? is sign literacy dead? or was it just a shit unclear sign and its interpretation depends solely on the person who interprets it and their life experience, beliefs, mentality and so on?

anyway, if you think you feel the character and you can imagine their motives and goals that's cool i guess, but doesn't mean the show actually succeeded to state them in canon. if you can see just some random plot points without any actual on-screen transition between them and just understand what transitions was implied it's also really cool, but for me for example if i wanted to just have some guide points and use my imagination for the rest i'd just scroll through "imagine" tag on tumblr rather then watching an actual show that's supposed to tell the story, not key points of the story

and no, the show doesn't have to tell a viewer everything by words. but it still have to tell you everything, actually, just by all different kinds of storytelling. and leaving everything to viewers imagination isn't a storytelling. like yeah i guess i can come up with some character development that makes you go from pointing a gun at a child (when you already compromised your ability to sharpshoot) to very judgmental "why is peace always the justification for violence?" (right after you actually tell you aren't ready to withdraw your forces and half an hour early we have a cool montage of your forces being pretty violent already) but i feel like it's writers job, not mine

but hey, you do you anyway. who am i to care

in fact i actually feel you. i'll die on the hill of silco being a great dad and caring deeply about jinx. but tho we have in fact canon proof she mean the world to him (actual story actually telling us he chooses her over his ultimate goal) at the same time we don't really have a good explanation on his whole beef with vi. yeah, i still can make my headcanons about his insecurity and fear of losing jinx after she tells her something about something, but it still sounds weak and not really explained in the show. also not a great writing

okay i'm officially lost in my thoughts, gotta wrap it up somehow. let's end on the point that some of interpretations the show leaves you with this season don't make much sense and in other cases it doesn't even give you any material to interpret but straight up leaves you with the responsibility of come up with events and development of the story and characters. and while a viewer might be good at this or even enjoy it, it's still very bad writting actually

peace

[creepylittlelady]

My opinion on Slenderman (INCREDIBLY OPINIONATED POST)

(If you guys are curious about my take on him, check out my post on Slenderman headcanons!)

Alright, I like to call myself a neutral person when it comes to stuff like this but GOD DAMN WILL I DIE ON THIS HILL. Slenderman is one of my favourite characters (Zalgo my love I love you so much), and one of the reasons why I like him is that there is genuinely speaking, NOTHING CANON ABOUT HIM.

It kinda confuses me about how black and white his characterisation tends to be. It's either he's your Dad who is currently yelling at Jeff for getting blood on the couch again, or he's the Heartless Narcisisstic Evil Monster who loves NOBODY and cares for NOBODY. I can deeply appreciate both sides, but claiming one over the other absolutely is kinda dumb.

In fact, trying to claim anything concrete about his character is a losing battle. There's nothing canon you can say about him; he has no backstory, he has no motivations for anything he did, he has no personality, he doesn't even really have a canon relationship with any of the Creepypastas. Sure, you can claim that what he did in Marble Hornets is a sign that he's evil and manipulative; but couldn't you say the same thing for, let's say Kyubey from Madoka Magica?

I don't know if he (Kyubey identifies as a male apparently) is a good example, but the point of Madoka Magica is that at the end of the day you can't call him evil. He's a completely different species with a different set of morals and therefore you can't just slap a 'PURE EVIL' label on him and walk on your merry way.

That's exactly how I feel about Slenderman. You can't call him evil and just walk away; there's so much more to him then that. You can say the same thing about Lord Zalgo, it's just so boring and typical to label them as 'Good' or 'Bad' and then just never try to write them in any nuanced way.

He has no backstory, there's no canonical reason for why he's doing any of this. Is he even aware of what's happening? Is he aware that what he's doing is bad? Is he just a nonhuman who is apathetic to the idea of human emotions? Does he have a good reason for doing all of this, at least, good in his mind?

I get so pissed whenever I hear the 'Slenderman is canonically evil' bs sometimes. Yes yes I get it he's not this wholesome father figure who'll provide for your every need like your own parents never did, but is that REALLY the only other option when it comes to how to portray him? Come on guys lets get creative! My own idea isn't all that creative; it's just a mixture of both versions tied into one, but I seriously wanna see some headcanons of him that aren't either:

Version A:

-Slenderman is cartoonishly bad at being a father figure, or he's just the background character. Some real 'JACK ARE YOU EATING ON THE COUCH AGAIN?!' Shenanigans.

Version B:

-Slenderman hates you. Slenderman will use his evil little powers to manipulate you into like idk being his slave or some shit and you should hate him because that's who he is. HE WILL BEAT YOUR ASS SO HARD THAT YOU WILL BLEED. HE HATES EVERYONE. EVERYONE HATES HIM. COLLECT HIS PAGES NOW.

Yes, he has done shit, but do you know why he did the shit? Do you know this dude personally? Has he literally come up to you and said 'Ahh yes I love abusing mortals it gives me so much karmic joy'. Deadass did Masky tell you that he beats his ass himself? The only thing he wants you to do is collect his pages.

Also don't misinterpret this post because I fucking LOVE AUs that make him into a villain but like in a good way that I absolutely adore. But why slander him for a version of him that doesn't exist? How on Earth do you a slander a character that has no personality? That's personally why Vocaloid Slander is weird as well; because these guys have got no canon personality.

Slenderdad does not exist. Slenderman the evil eldritch does not exist.

Slenderman does not exist.

That's why he's cool. Because he's basically the blankest of all blank slates, write him as whatever you want but don't claim that it's canon or 'realistic' or anything like that. I guess I can kind of see why you could say that evil Slenderman is realistic, but technically that's ALSO a headcanon. I don't believe his actual creator wrote him a personality beyond the fact that he kills people, and thats it.

Have fun with the guy, because he, alongside Zalgo, are characters where you can genuinely say anything about them and nobody can say you're wrong.

Anyways that's my rant post of the evening hope you guys enjoyed, make sure to smash that like and subscribe button >:3

Also feel free to debate with me in any way shape or form, this might be a terrible take and I'm open to changing my mind at any time in the future. This is just my current take on things.

[toastling]

One of the secrets to a long and fulfilling life I think is to have a couple of completely stupid hills you're willing to die on no questions asked. And I mean stupid as in inconsequential, things that it doesn't actually matter what your stance on them might be.

For example, one of mine is League - I made up my mind years ago that I hated it, and I decided like any good bit, I'm gonna commit to that. And at some point it kinda stopped being passive and ironic and became really intense instead. No amount of queer art will sway me, not sorry at all Arcane.

But it doesn't actually matter whether I ever engage with any of it or not. It's not the end of the world if I'm biased against a video game or any tangentially related fiction or not. But I spent a lot of money purchasing this hill, so this is where I'm going to be buried, and you will not be imminent domaining my dumb ass anytime soon.

I will die on this hill and that death will be as ridiculous and stupid as the life lived on top of it, and you know what? That's okay. Sometimes you need to put your pettiness into stupid bullshit like that so you don't end up putting it into something that actually matters by mistake. Better you're biased against League of Legends or a band your ex used to like than who gets to have human rights or who's pure enough to be called a lesbian.

[ochrearia]

A bunch of shit list about mr Biff aka PoPr!BF

I need to write out stuff all in one place about my stupid versions of BF I'll make one for Beefer later on his own but I started Poly Propaganda first so I go in order

-This idiot is short. I don't care. He's 5'1 because I deserve to be taller than him. I think I made reference to him being like 5'5-5'6 in PoPr somewhere but that's retconned he's even smaller now. Fuck him in particular

-Look... I couldn't be bothered to write BF and GF constantly in my series so Biff's "name" in the series is Keith. I didn't want to call him boyfriend while also referring to him as GF's or Pico's boyfriend in the same paragraph and that's my reasoning

-Next level dumbass. Dumb and horny like base game BF except most of the horny happens Off Screen in the series SADSFDGFHGJ but he is stupid. Endearingly stupid

-Absolute menace. He will die on the hill of teasing someone even if it gets him killed, completely and totally worth it

-Loverboy... Oh this guy is such a loverboy it's so bad. So prone to being lovesick and constantly thinking about his partners that he's distracted from being a living person.

-I wouldn't necessarily say he's got depression properly but sometimes he just has. really bad days where he gets tired of everything and doesn't want to do anything other than lay in bed until it's the next day

-He does, however, have a fear of failure. He wants the people he cares about to be proud of him and can end up shutting down if he's presented with a scenario where they aren't and he thinks it's because he isn't good enough.

-This dude sleeps like a corpse. The fucking apocalypse could happen and the entire reinvention of civilization after and he'd wake up when it's done only thinking a few hours went by

-"Touch Starved" in the idea that his biggest love language is being physically affectionate and it translates to seeming like he's never had a hug before. He could've seen you an hour ago and he's going to hug you like it's been 7 years

-Proven to be "obsessed" with hearing the laughter of the people he loves. "Makes me happy to be able to hear that you're happy". Probably one of the reasons he might play into being stupid, if he gets laugh reactions out of it it's more than worth it.

-CANNOT FUCKING COOK FOR SHIT DON'T LET THIS MAN EVER TOUCH AN OVEN

-Hates his birthday. As a kid he never got the same "important" treatment from his classmates in school that they'd give to each other when it was someone's birthday, so he eventually learned that his birthday didn't matter. Acts like it never did, which makes his partners sad (They still celebrate it and remember it even if he doesn't)

-Hides his true singing voice behind his microphone, which had a mix of auto-tune and magic in it. Basically vacuums up his voice and auto-tunes it to that high-pitched beeping like base game before anyone gets to hear what he actually sounds like. He's not confident that his normal voice would be able to fit to any situation or beat like the auto-tune can.

-He's constantly flirty with his partners but holy fuck he canNOT take what he dishes out. His partners being flirty back stalls his brain and derails everything. Dumb becomes dumber

-Loooooves to be sung to. Would kill for 1 minute of his Pico singing to him. Would do anything for his GF to also do it. He's whipped.

-In context of RBGFverse, oh boy he's so attached to YS. He's got residual guilt over having reacted like a dick to him in the beginning because he's so important to him now. He's never had a sibling before and now he has a big brother and maybe he's too clingy about it but. He doesn't exactly know how else to act having no experience with it before

-Also suffers from RSD but nowhere near as bad as YS has

-In a brotherly way, it is ON SIGHT with Beef. Unspoken rule to annoy the fuck out of each other

-This hasn't been mentioned or referenced in PoPr itself yet but Biff is probably bigender. He just hasn't had time to really think about it because his thoughts are so full of his lovers and also having to do these damn ass rap battles

-Particularly sensitive nose when it comes to his GF's scented candle hoard. He cannot stand that shit he makes her keep them all in the kitchen LMFAO

-Wears a ring with dual pearls set in it, insists that those two pearls are Pico and GF. He has a weakness to sentiment... can be caught kissing the ring if he thinks no one is looking

-Likes being reminded the people he loves are alive. If you let him he will cuddle up to you and listen to your heartbeat for his own piece of mind

-Very easy to impress. He's got a lot of wonder in his heart for things he's never seen or heard before and if he thinks its cool he's basically going to get stars in his eyes over it. Tell him moreeee

-Seemingly shares the most "similarities" with YS (This may not always end up being a good thing when he's trying to be a menace to the big guy)

-As much as he is a menace, 99% of his actions can be traced back to a place of genuine care if you think about what he's doing for more than a second.

-Needs background noise to do a lot of things. Hates complete silence. Will have music on when he's doing tasks, and even when he goes to bed he prefers to be able to hear the cars driving by on the street below the apartment

-Paints his nails! Usually just black nail polish but if he's feeling particularly. Thinking about himself he might put the colors of the alt bigender flag on his nails just to, maybe try it out

Uhhhhhh I've probably forgotten a bunch of shit this is what I remember off the top of my head. Yeah. Thumbsup /silly

[theseasasleep]

Story of Kunning Palace, E05 (semi-live reaction)

Of all the ways I thought Ning would handle the proposed slander against her beloved Zhang Zhe, the way she actually handled it did not align with my imaginings in the slightest. Sometimes what plays out is really better than the fiction in your head, hee. I did not see her calling out, not the dumb fiancee but the You-daughter. Nor did I foresee her half-drowning her in a jar full of goldfish.

FIERCE

Judging by the all the clips I have gorged on, this particular love line will be quite strong and trend for a while. Sigh. A decade plus of drama watching has whittled my patience for second lead to first lead love lines to whisper-thin nub but everyone keeps commenting on how amazing Zhang Zhe is so.... I guess the wait and watch won't be too grating.

...

I'm not sure I understand.

Zhang Zhe broke or bent his principles to help her on the oath that she'd become a good person thereafter.

Sometime later, Zhang Zhe is condemned to death for this.

Did he naturally get caught? Or did she deliberately sell him out? Was it more similar to the Yan Lin situation in which her people made moves without her knowledge and when push came to shove, she didn't make the necessary moves to upend the conspiracy for the sake of remaining Empress?

Whatever the case, it's clear Ning did many terrible things - some in ignorance, some in knowledge - to accomplish everything she achieved. I think she squared most, if not all of it with herself when weighing it against the ultimate end result... until Zhang Zhe ended up on the chopping block. I don't think she would have been able to write this sin off and once one stone in her ambitious bedrock was overturned, the rest likely came apart. It's why when she knew she was going to die she wanted her death to mean something, to be a reparation of sort to the only person remaining who might accept it because he thought she was worth something, because he's that good.

...

Oh. Oh. Look at the expression on his face as he listens to the patronizing, sexist drivel:

My scrumptious proto-feminist

...

LOL, he did a dignified catwalk and every lady in the room forgot to think and breathe!

I understand, ladies, I understand.

Geez, Ning, Xie Wei had them open a window for you, and only you, so you would have fresh air and bright light, to improve your mood and chances! Not to silently accuse you of being a potential cheat!

Wow, this is all up hill climb, my guy. Get your shoes with the best tread on, Xie Wei.

I know not a drop of Chinese and even I can see that's atrocious. And what did she draw in the corner. A flower? A dancing sun? A really fat, disproportionate hand with a vestigial finger?

And she asks, did she put too much effort into [failing]? Girl. It's so obvious she'd bring out the contrarian impulses of a saint. But maybe it's worth it since we get this face:

Teacher does not approve.

What I am enjoying so much in this scene is the action and counteraction. The way they each boldly challenge the other. She sent up an exam paper so abominable as to be a mockery [of him]; he passes her. She tries to expose her "stupidity" to the rest of the class; he threatens to critique the entire class, turning everyone against her idea.

point:

Counterpoint:

Concession:

Me:

...

I'm not even touching the "dementia." Rolling my eyes and moving on.

But, but, but... How was he so spot on?! How did he guess at reincarnation?! I mean, yeah, he said he doesn't believe in the supernatural but it can't be a coincidence to the narrative that he's the first to come closest to the truth?

Xie Wei: Ning, what's your relationship with Yan Lin? I NEED TO KNOW... *whispers* for science.

Oh, your father asked me to take good care of you in the palace... Yan Lin asked me to help you... By the by, that study partner list? Yeah, another ministry generates it but ultimately it has to run by me. The moment I saw your name I marked you for the palace. After going to so much trouble, it would be stupid of me to release you from palace duties now!

Xie Wei, be like:

...

God. I Hate Ning's Mom.

[adhd-merlin]

merlin S1 rewatch: episode 9

let’s move on to ep 1x09 because I need to get on. with my life. I already re-watched this ep months ago and I can’t be arsed to do it again so I’m going to use screencaps and perhaps the transcript to refresh my memory.

kilgharrah warning merlin that excalibur MUST NOT be wielded by anyone but arthur, and merlin handing the sword to uther literally the next morning is so funny to me. it's kind of the same thing that happens with the cup of life, when iseldir tells merlin “hey this is important so don’t lose it okay?” and five minutes later we see the cup rolling down a hill. I love consistent characterisation. please don’t give this boy anything important for safekeeping he has enough on his plate already!!

I think Arthur’s coronet looks a bit dumb but still it’s nothing compared to the horrendous Burger King crown he'll wear as king. why did uther get such a prettier crown. why couldn't arthur just wear his father's crown. so many questions

why did they name the undead knight tristan, was he supposed to be the tristan? I think he was. I think their take on tristan and isolde in S4 was so disappointing btw. anyway moving on

Merlin: Gaius have you seen that knight’s crest before? Gaius: No, I don’t think so. I didn’t see it clearly. Actually I’m not even sure I saw a knight. Perhaps it was a trick of the light or a collective hallucination

Sir Owain: I don’t need luck Arthur: oh fuck he’s going to die

Arthur’s face after Uther holds him back and someone else picks up the undead knight’s gauntlet. so much self-sacrificing acts of bravery and NONE of them done by him. wrong and upsetting

S1 Arthur I'm not sure how to tell you this so I'll just say it. your haircut looks dangerously close to a mullet

Merlin: maybe arson can fix this

Nimueh telling Uther she was his friend!!! fuck season 6 I want a Merlin prequel

he’s a precious baby. he’s shmol. only tiny

gwen doing her whole “you know I'd grant you anything merlin… I mean, not anything! haha” meanwhile merlin is too worried about keeping arthur alive to notice. GIRL HE'S BUSY

WHY. who stands like this

he holds this stupid pose the entire time morgana is talking to him. imagine begging someone not to commit suicide while they brood and look out of the window like a sullen byronic hero. I would have pushed him out of the window. drama ass bitch

this is the second nighttime encounter between uther and gaius in this episode. uther saying goodbye to gaius before going to fight in arthur’s place. toxic yaoi. is this anything

YOU KNOW NOTHING YOU STUPID CHILD. I love that Kilgharrah is a hater and a bitch. to be fair to him he spent 20 years in solitary confinement so he's earned it

gaius drugging arthur then gently helping him into his bed is hilarious. he’s so good at lying and drugging people. big fan of gaius using his evil talents for the greater good, or just to have a laugh sometimes which is equally valid

what a fine blade you have there… it would be a shame if something were to happen to it

he’s wearing silver bracelets!! plural!!

[Enter Arthur, visibly furious]

Gaius [gathering his things]: I've just remembered I've left something on the stove. I must go right now immediately

Arthur [while Gaius scurries away]: YOU HAD GAIUS DRUG ME??

arthur and uther little father and son moment was cute ngl

there are a few more scenes until the end but I don't have much to say about them except that I love gaius and merlin's relationship

Gaius: [stares loudly] Merlin: [pretends not to notice]

[petals2fish]

1. Fortnight - functioning alcoholic 🥲 YOUR QUIET TREASON. All my mornings are Monday stuck in an endless February. POSTIC GENIUS. Magical move on drug YIKES. I love you you tis ruining my life. I touched you for only a fortnight but I touched you. “My husband is cheating I want to kill him.” MOOD. I love you it’s ruining my life. I’m calling ya but you won’t pick up. Went to Florida?!?! 🫡🫡🫡 thank you post Malone for your service.

2. The tortured poets department: “I’ve seen this episode but still loved the show.” Aka I THINK IVE SEEN THIS FILM BEFORE AND I DIDNT LIKE THE ENDING. “Who’s gonna love you if not me.” Lol “We’re modern idiots!!!!” JUSTICE FOR CHARLIE PUTH!!!! “A tattooed golden retriever” made me laugh out loud. “I chose this cyclone with you.” Is so Jily plz. “You’re not Dillion Thomas and I’m not patting smith.” Okay Tay. NO FUCKING BODY: 👍🏼 “Sometimes I wonder if you’ll screw this up with me.” Spoiler ‼️ he did. “Everyone we know understands why it’s meant to be.” I didn’t thanks. “Because we’re crazy.” Okay mood. HE PUT THE RING IN HER RING FINGER?!?! “CLOSEST IVE COME TO MY HEART EXPLODING?!?!” PLEASE?!?! “You left your typewriter at my apartment straight from the tortured poets department.” Five stars!!

3. My boy only breaks his favorite toys: ‘I’m queen of sandcastles he destroys.’ Jumps out at me. “Cause I knew too much.” WHAT DO YIU KNOW TAYLOR. “Should have known it was a matter of time.” Taylor is the queen of ignoring red flags. 🚩 This is a fun beat though besties. “Once I fix me, he’s gonna miss me.” YEAH. TELL EM BESTIE. “Stole my tortured heart and left all these broken parts. Told me I’m better off.” Sorry Taylor you were better off babes.

4. Down bad: NICER BEAT OKAY. “Dawn bad crying at the gym.” Mood. “Fuck it if I can’t have him I might just die.” No why is this so FUNNY. Like this is Matty we’re talking about for sure. “Everything forms out teenage petulance.” I mean yeah cause you were still developing a prefrontal cortex when you met him. “So fuck you if I can’t have us.” HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS PART. Honestly I feel you Taylor, I’ve been dumb for a dumb boy before too. It’s okay.

5. So long London: EXCISE ME OPENING WITH A CHORAl. THESE KYRICS WHATLFHAKRHS FUCKKKKK. How much sad did you think I had??? Oh the tragedy?! So long London, you’ll find some one???? “You left me at the house by the heath.” “I stopped CPR”?!?! 😿😿 “YOU LET Me give all that you for free?!?!” SHE GAVE YOU A FUCKING GRAMMY YOGURT BOY AND YOU DIDNT EVEN WANT IT. “too graves, one gun?!” Good for you baby girl. “I’ll find someone” SHUT THE FUCK UP. I’m gonna throw up. Fuck fuck fuck. Taylor 😿😿😿😿 “I DIED ON THE ALTER” ALDBSKAHDBSJSKS NOOOOO. I’m crying. My Shakespeare queen. You’ll find someone RIPS at my heart.

6. But daddy I love him: “bedroom eyes like a remedy.” Fuck how many matty songs are we getting. This reminds me so much of a faith hill song. No I will not elaborate right now. Very country narrative. This one will be fun to scream in concert just for the “I’m having his baby…no I’m not!!!” Very chaotic. 4/5 stars.

7. Fresh out of the slammer: daily disappearing just to see him smile?!?! Girlie pop you really do lie to yourself don’t you??? “He was with her in dreams” I mean it’s really joeover. This song is fun, I like it, very chaotic as well. 5/5 stars.

8. Florida!!!: Florence my queen you make this song beautiful, I need more listens to deconstruct it though:

9. Guilty as skin: girl just write self insert fanfic if you want to fuck someone this badly (can’t wait to write and read fics based off this one hahahaha) 5/5 stars 🌟

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?: shit I’m crying. Fuck fuck fuck. She truly hates most of the new fans huh. Lmaooo SHE SINGS THIS IN ALL HER REGISTERS OMGGGG. It’s all her past selves screaming at us!!! Aldhaksjdka she’s so fucking clever

11. I can fix him no really I can: AHAHA THE ENDING KF THE SONG ALDBSKAHDKAJDHAKDHW SHE REALLY SAID “OH SHIT DAMN I FUCKED UP DIDNT I” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

12. Loml: Joe Alwyn you need witness protection

13. I can do it with a broken heart: oh god this was hurts me more than so long London because it hits home for every damn time I had to preform on stage and then go cry in the shower between shows 🥲

14. The smallest man who ever lived: 🚨🚨🚨 found at the scene of the crime: Joe Alwyn's Small Dick

15. The alchemy: AHHHHHHH!!! HOLY FUCK WE GOT A TRAVIS SONG ALDBSLAHDBSKSJDBWKEHDBAKWJD HE GOT A SONG FUCK YESSSSS

16. CLARA BOW: the outro. The OUTRO. THE FUCKING OUTRO. I’m dead. 😵

Overall: I love it. I love it. I love it SO DAMN MICH. you can tell how much time and effort she put into production and story telling. FUCK. I love this album as much as I loved Folklore the first time I heard it!!

[huntingrays]

a dumb, pointless hill i’m willing to die on is that i think leo would be a cat guy, not a dog guy

like he’d own a cat, not a dog. allow me to explain my reasoning

so, dogs are very cute and loyal. they’re very silly and man’s best friend. however… they wouldn’t be suited for his ‘lifestyle’. lots of dog breeds are very active and can sometimes require things like daily walks and likely need to be trained. considering how he spends hours straight working, i think cats would be best suited for him. they can be very independent and will go to you and demand affection when they want it. like i can image a cat jumping onto his lap and he stops and realizes he’s been busy for hours, so he takes a petting break. he’d totally own an orange tabby that can be as weird and crazy as he is. he’d see the cat like doing a jump kick off the wall and think ‘mood, wish i could do that too’. and cats can also be little assholes and i think he’d respect them for it. i can imagine he’d be the kind of guy to get into an argument with a cat bc they keep knocking shit off his desk. i can imagine him getting a “talkative” cat and they yap at each other for hours

OH ALSO!! so many people tend to write leo being very warm, like a human heater. you know what love warm things like heated blankets and sunny spots? cats. he’d be a cat magnet. they would LOVE him

also, he’d be a great cat dad? like he loves to invent things. he could make so many things for his cat baby. cat house, cat tree, scratching post, perches in high places, he’d make them all. he’d spoil his cat child. they would live like royalty

maybe this is such a random thing to have an opinion on, but i believe strong in it. in my opinion, leo is a cat guy and jason is a dog guy and they own a cat and dog together that get along surprisingly well

[dreamweaversfavsandthoughs]

Rick and Morty S7 Ep. 8: Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie

(I do care!)

Don’t forget to add spoilers to the equation

My Favs

Reminiscent of HarmonTown

I use to listen to HarmonTown back when Dan Harmon was still doing that show and I felt this episode was the most HarmonTown-esqe episode they have even done. It was written by HarmonTown regular Rob Schrab and had Dan Harmon and Brandon Johnson as basically the two leads of the episode and I felt I was listening to that podcast once again.

It broke the formula the hardest out of any episode that has been done

Mainly because Rick didn’t show up at all. I guess he’s still so depressed he couldn’t be bothered. I appreciate when the show is able to take a wild swing like that and having Rick present would have taken away from what they were trying to accomplish with Mr. Goldenfold

Mr. Goldenfold’s character was fleshed out

Mr. Goldenfold has always been the butt of the joke so it was a nice change of pace to show him as someone who is passionate about his subject matter and cares about teaching. I think the episode could have done more but it was nice seeing the character taken somewhat seriously.

Math/Letter puns

This episode was chock full of corny, sometimes clever math and letter puns and it was kinda fun trying to hunt them all. A few of my favorites include:

Bracket shield

All Type strikers attack. I want his serifs.

Subtract Water-T to life and carry the one to me

Helvetica Light speed

Threesus Christ

E-10

“I’m a prime number and I’m only divisible by myself”

“And my dick is magma but we’ll figure it out.”

Not My Fav

Morty’s role in the episode

I like seeing Morty in any episode I can get him. I really do, but Morty being in this episode felt like an executive saying, “We can’t have both Rick and Morty not be in an episode that’s a bridge too far. Just find something for Morty to do and call it a day.” As others have pointed out, you could take him out of the episode and nothing would be affected. I wish more had been done to justify him being there other than to commentate.

I’m starting to worry that the show is relying too much on older characters/older concepts

I’m not necessarily opposed to older one-off characters coming back, fleshing out old stories, or explore old places, but if done too much it can start to feel like a crutch. I feel now as we approach the end of season 7 that they might be creeping into the territory of being over reliant on old material. It might be time to start course correcting for that.

My Thoughts

I might be a bit of an outlier on this one but…I kinda enjoyed this episode. I mentioned earlier that this episode felt the most HarmonTown-esqe of any episode they’ve ever done--and I really missed that podcast. This episode seemed like something that they would have improvised or joked during an episode of that show. Also, I had read a couple reviews before the episode aired so I already knew ahead of time that Rick wasn’t going to be in it and that the episode really had nothing to do with the lore or developing the family so I went into the episode not expecting that and I had fun with it.

This episode was a love letter to schlocky 80’s action movies that seem serious on the surface but are, at their core, just dumb, corny fun. I think not having Rick in the episode was a good call because he would’ve just been a cynical voice to an episode that didn’t need any cynicism. Speaking of Rick’s absence, when I heard that he wasn’t going to be in the episode and that Water-T and Mr. Goldenfold were the main focus I expected that the episode would be a bit divisive among the fan base and they did not disappoint. It’s exhausting being in this fandom.

This episode is certainly one of the weaker episodes this season I won’t dispute that but I think a weaker episode from this season is leagues better than that sperm episode ( or some of the weaker episodes from seasons 4 and 5) and I will die on that hill. There was some clever moments, like the primitive googas being reminiscent of early pictographs and the relationship between math and music with Mr. Goldenfold teaching Ice-T about time signatures. That connection makes the logic of Mr. Goldenfold’s and Ice-T’s friendship and falling out make sense, albeit, in a deeply silly way. The writer clearly loves 80’s action movies and used the characters and settings of Rick and Morty to accomplish his own version and I’m here for it.