#sometimes to its detriment

[ataraxetta]

Three of Bruce's Audio Logs from the Gotham Knights game that hit me like a punch. The first is directly after Barbara's injury and mostly about Jason's death, the next is about missing Dick and wishing he could make things right between them, and the third is about Jason coming back into the fold and some Lazarus Pit pondering. Text is below under the cut, but Bruce's voice actor does some amazing work here with adding emotional depth, so I suggest listening if it is a thing you might be into!

LOG ENTRY BT-45 - SPIRAL

"Log entry BT-42...

Alfred, I can't do this. Not now.

[Alfred: If you don't make time for this now, Master Bruce, then when will you? Take all the time you need.]

I didn't know so much could go wrong. There's nowhere else I can go. Dick stopped by Gotham again. Our meetings lately have been...strained. I pushed him away. And this time I don't know if he'll ever come back. He worried about my 'obsessions.' But I wasn't focused nearly enough. If I was, then Barbara--

She got hurt. Paralyzed. Maybe permanently. Because she was trying to help me. I let her take on too much. I should have been there. I Failed her. Barbara, and Dick, and... Jason.

Jason barely got a chance. He could have been great for Gotham. The best kind of Robin. But he was reckless. Rushing into danger like that--No. I'm responsible for this. After being too strict with Dick, I tried to give Jason more freedom. I should have been paying more attention. He went off on his own to be a hero. Then that monster MURDERED him for it.

He was killed because of me.

I'd do anything to fix this. Things I said I'd never do.

Like speak with Talia again. I swore to myself I'd NEVER consider using a Lazarus Pit. The risks, even compared to death, were too great. But I had to know if resurrection was even possible. But when I tracked her down, I couldn't even ask for her help. One more thing I got wrong. And Talia just laughed. I broke almost every rule I have to bring Jason back. And I have nothing to show for it. He's really gone."

Sixteen...

Batman failed-- I failed everyone.

I don't know how to make any of this right. But I'm going to find a way."

LOG ENTRY BT-70 - FATHER AND GRAYSON

"Log entry BT-70.

I don't often have dreams. But this morning, I woke up from one about Nightwing.

Dick came back to Gotham. We sat right here in this room. Together. He let me explain myself, apologize for pushing him away. I found all the words I should have said before he left. That's how I knew none of it was real. He asked me about something we used to talk about. Batman's legacy. You know, 'who wears the cowl when Bruce Wayne can't?'

For years, I thought I had the answer. Every time I looked at Dick Grayson, I saw the next Batman.

But Dick never wanted it.

I've been monitoring his activities in Bludhaven. It's amazing what he's accomplished on his own. His way. With courage and kindness. I see it clearly now. I don't want Nightwing to become Batman. I need Batman to be more like Nightwing.

Despite everything, I just wish he was home, so we could talk. REALLY talk. I'd tell him how proud I really am. That Nightwing is the better version of what Batman was meant to be. That because of Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne became a better man.

I'd tell my son that I miss him.

I'll tell him the next time he comes back. He doesn't need me bothering him.

He doesn't need me at all."

LOG ENTRY BT-57 - BACK FOR GOOD

"It's been two months since I confronted Red Hood.

Wanted Criminal. Confirmed Killer. Jason.

At first, I didn't want to believe it. But after that shock came hope. He's still driven by a sense of justice. There's still a part of him I can recognize as Robin.

He's talking to me, but... he's so angry. Not so much at his murderer, but at me.

I deserve his anger. He was just a child when I put him in harm's way. I pushed him too hard, too fast. He's made it clear that he'll never let go of his desire for vengeance. But he's come to understand that violence has its limits.

I can only be grateful Jason's meeting me halfway. He's accepted counseling. We're finding a way to move forward. He's even suggested we work on a new kind of pistol for him, together. Something that's more... Bat-friendly. I have some reservations about that, but he insists it's possible, and his prototypes are promising. He's making an incredible effort to come back from that cliff, to be a better man.

So far, I've been unable to find out what happened between Jason's murder and his appearance on Gotham's streets as the Red Hood. His amnesia seems total, but not necessarily irreversible. Maybe with time he'll remember...

Alfred and I ran every test we could think of. The last one confirmed my suspicions. We found evidence he'd been exposed to a Lazarus Pit. Was Jason revived by Ra's? Talia? Another faction or cult?

Ra's has healed his injuries, no matter how severe, in Lazarus Pits. Ongoing exposure has rendered him practically immortal, though at the cost of his humanity. Ra's original goal when he founded the League was to destroy a corrupted society to then rebuild it in a purer form. Now, he seems to have lost sight of any reconstruction. He views all human beings as irredeemably flawed, even Talia.

For all his anger, Jason is nothing like that. My working theory is that a single, short exposure to a Lazarus Pit won't cause a permanent shift in personality. But I need to learn more, for Jason's sake.

I won't lose him again."

[sparring-spirals]

I was initially clipping this to capture the overwhelmingly accurate, absolutely devastating hilarity of "you went for realistic, and sadly, you nailed it". And then just kept recording because I really fucking love the discussion about how to balance the line between like:

You are trying to tell a story that feels good and gives you the kind of lift you might be looking for in an explicitly fantasy story,

vs

How to ensure it still feels grounded and rewarding in a way where you can "bring this good feeling back to earth" at the end.

Like they're talking about TTRPG's but they clearly make parallels to other forms of storytelling/worldbuilding mediums, like movies, and. like. Yeah. Yeah.

Like the framing of "you really recreated the feeling of powerlessness..." and wanting the fantasy element to manifest in there being the clearer, straightforward ways to solve complex issues, vs trying to ensure that you can have a victory and it feels feasible and substantial and applicable in some way, and has something you can take out of the fantasy world and hold with you back on "terra firma".

Its tricky! Its a tricky thing to balance, and I don't think there's a single "right" answer nor should there be because it depends. It depends on the story, and the intent, and the setting, and the medium, and etc. Big fan of this framework to explain it.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Spice is the variety of life!

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[qoldenskies]

Hhhh just started thinking about. Donnie being terrified to sign again. Maybe they don’t notice its absence at first, since he doesn’t like talking in general. But then he gets sick or something and losing his voice, and instead of having that easy convenience, Donnie freaks out every time they try to ask him something because he knows using sign isn’t good enough.

HNGGHGHHHHH i could also see a trend of him trying to talk through verbal shutdowns and just hurting himself more, because signing is just associated with the abuse for him now. and the whole thing with being told to use his words is going to seriously influence the way that he communicates. he's kind of lost sight of the fact that they're usually pretty good at reading his nonverbal cues/mannerisms (and they'll become a lot better at it now that theyre adjusting because theyre going to be hyper-aware of his feelings, they'll be super vigilant) because his first instinct to protect himself is to stammer out an explanation, even if he really doesnt need to.

i think he'll really struggle to be concise because any slightly pointed question about where he was or what he was doing is going to make him freak out and feel like he has to cover all his bases. the fact that they're going to have some separation anxiety with him isn't going to help, if they dont know where he is they're not going to react in a levelheaded fashion and that just sounds like itd start a feedback loop of panic LMAO

[paging-possum]

was going to start writing an essay about the possible overlap between christianity and OCD and then I remembered im on Tumblr dot com and also a fucking idiot when it comes to putting things into words

[nexus-nebulae]

i want to remove my new shrimp's pringle bc i wanna whack people with the Plush Tube but it's sewn on so I'd have to use my seam ripper

it won't make holes and he will still have the pringle only he can share now

[mybreadsmybutters]

leave me alone in the room with a pair of tweezers my eyebrows will be GONE by the time you get back. leave me long enough ill start in on the rest of my body hair too. something about it activates some simian instinct to pick at hair and the thing in my brain that is constantly telling me im covered in bugs goes into hyperdrive

[pinkeoni]

Willing to be controversial but I do not think Mike's family relationship or coming out to them is a point the show sees as important. I feel like that is more of Will's arc if anything due to how it has been emphasized throughout the seasons. And I know it is like a popular take but I don't think the show will add a homophobia plotline to Mike's character. I think he's just gonna come out to Karen, and Karen will be understanding and Ted will not give a shit.

Where is that Reddit comment that says “Oh you poked the bear”?

Since this tends to be a bit if a touchy subject for some, I wanna try to answer in as nuanced a way as possible. And since this is kind of an exhausted topic, I’ll put it under a cut.

So starting with whether or not Mike is going to come out—

At this moment in time, I think Mike is much farther from being ready to have a coming out moment than Will is. Could it still happen? It could, and at that point it would depend on how the show handles it. I would honestly really appreciate a coming out scene, but I don’t think it’s a necessity for Mike’s story to be satisfactory. Mike is still gay even if it’s not explicitly stated. Furthermore, Mike can still reach a state of self acceptance without telling other people, it’s so long as he accepts it for himself that is the important thing.

As for the family thing...

I think it would be inaccurate of me to say that Mike's family and home life doesn't effect Mike. Of course it does, in the way that it does every character. And considering how much of a presence the Wheeler family seems to have had in every season, it would be stupid of me to say that they won't have an appearance or that they won't be connected to Mike's arc.

So I think that Mike's family relationship will be there, and it'll have value in the same way that everything in the show has value, big or small, however I don't think it's false of me to say that Will's family relationship is probably going to be more of a central focus.

This isn't me comparing traumas (which is a thing that can and does happen) or saying that Mike's experiences aren't important, but looking at how they function in this story, especially with the knowledge that Will is going to be a major focus next season, then it's reasonable to assume that the Byers family is probably going to be more at the center than the Wheelers.

There's also a lot more unresolved with the Byers family ie Lonnie and his involvement, and yes I am still so confident that he is coming back, if not just from the fact that Jonathan keeps bringing him up in every season. There's also a lot of mystery surrounding Lonnie, whereas with the Wheelers most of it is all there on the table.

My take on the Wheelers is that they are complicated. Perfect parents? No. Abusive? No. I'm not really gonna state where I stand on the "neglectful" debate as I feel like that word exists on a sliding scale that changes depending on who is using it. I was talking about it with Jo @wheelersboy and we agreed that the biggest problem with the Wheelers is that they are passive conformists, which I talk a little bit about in my AIDS post. They conform passively and have the privilege to not have to confront the consequences behind it. When they are at the town hall meet and come face-to-face with the extreme end of conformity, it's a huge smack in the face for them. By the end of the season, they begin to slowly de-conform.

I think that Mike’s core conflict has to do with his feelings of worthlessness and insecurity, and it will end with him realizing his worth for exactly who he is. I think this is absolutely influenced by his exterior environment, but ultimately it will be up to Mike himself to solve this conflict.

[pa-pa-plasma]

kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment

[wheucto]

finally decided to start watching s2e17 of ii

[quietwingsinthesky]

no wait sorry okay expanding on my post about jack being infantilized. like one, we have to acknowledge that 90% of the time it’s just that people want there to be a baby in their story. and they don’t want to make an OC baby when they could use a character people will recognize and who they can tag. And look at that, Jack is conveniently there existing and technically like 3 years old in canon, so they zap him with the baby laser and the result is. not jack, but a baby with jack’s name doing baby things. but also, as far as I know, people don’t really do this to the two other characters in a similar situation to Jack: Amara (was actually a baby on-screen before she grew up fast) and Claire (proximity to cas means people use her as a destiel child.) so if people aren’t infantilizing Amara when she ages the same way Jack does and people aren’t infantilizing Claire when she’s also considered a “destiel kid” then. like. why jack. and the only thing i can cynically come up with is that its really, really easy for people to see an autistic-coded character purely as a child. and like I said in my original post, I don’t think this is malicious, I think it’s more a combination of unfortunate factors: people want a baby in their fanworks -> they can make jack into a baby without thinking too hard about the implications there.

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

The Outcasts (1968) - Episode 2: A Ride to Vengeance

This is the kind of show that starts with the main characters mugging "GASP! Did you STEAL the COOKIES?" faces in response to surprise false murder charges and ends with them bickering about money and riding away laughing while a couple they nearly broke up watches in mute disdain. However, It is also the kind of show that (without using the specific terminology, because it was written in 1968 and is about emotionally constipated men in 1873) unpacks the fact that a) the Black lead has PTSD as a result of being a slave, b) that a white man accused him of murder simply because he made a fool of him years earlier, and c) that he is aware of things as a Black man in 1800's America that the white lead is not and that the white lead doesn't need him to prove that to believe it's true. The tonal whiplash is occasionally vertigo-inducing.

[inplateaus]

one thing i do when i write in english that i borrow from portuguese and doesn’t make much sense is not writing the subject pronoun because in pt we have this thing called sujeito oculto which translates to like hidden subject where we can say a sentence that has no subject like “chove” (it rains) and then i just do it in english and it looks weird but it makes sense to me

[zero-a]

people will go all "just be yourself and love yourself! :)" and then go "if you don't act the way i want, you gotta reprogram your entire way of thinking then reach into the very core of who you are and what makes you you, discard it, and replace it with this better, friendlier, more empathetic version that's coincidentally far more convenient for me to deal with than any other possible compromise we can make that you can do for me but doesn't stretch your mind to nothing but thin bands of what you'd consider 'You' :))))))"

[moth-mart]

do you have like a chart of god's moral compass /hj but her morals are so interesting to me. deposes god the prequel to try to fix some stuff and then demonifies a random mortal for fun

YEAH. Her morals are so. Yes <3

On some level she's able to perceive and take issue with injustices [the whole heaven system she wanted to demolish] and can conceptualize that mistreatment in order to view it as 'wrong'. In that sense.

But also As A God she lacks what most would consider standard morals towards those with less power than her and struggles with humanizing them? Struggle not even being the right word for it 'cause she generally does not see it as a problem. She can understand their pain but looks at it more like someone would an injured or pitiful animal like. 'that poor deer is stuck in a fence. what a sorry thing' but the problem is the 'deer' in question is a whole person.

[kissingarthurclaus]

Ok so...originally Brea doesn't belong to any battalion and doesn't hold the rank of General, but lately I've been thinking about the possibility of making a few clone OCs and designing a squadron for her to lead! In my main timeline she's just kinda backup and is constantly called across the galaxy to assist other jedi with their fights, but I think it'd be fun to explore that and make new characters to share :3