#donnie panicking is a trigger for them so they panic. but that just makes donnie panic more and this just spirals

[qoldenskies]

Hhhh just started thinking about. Donnie being terrified to sign again. Maybe they don’t notice its absence at first, since he doesn’t like talking in general. But then he gets sick or something and losing his voice, and instead of having that easy convenience, Donnie freaks out every time they try to ask him something because he knows using sign isn’t good enough.

HNGGHGHHHHH i could also see a trend of him trying to talk through verbal shutdowns and just hurting himself more, because signing is just associated with the abuse for him now. and the whole thing with being told to use his words is going to seriously influence the way that he communicates. he's kind of lost sight of the fact that they're usually pretty good at reading his nonverbal cues/mannerisms (and they'll become a lot better at it now that theyre adjusting because theyre going to be hyper-aware of his feelings, they'll be super vigilant) because his first instinct to protect himself is to stammer out an explanation, even if he really doesnt need to.

i think he'll really struggle to be concise because any slightly pointed question about where he was or what he was doing is going to make him freak out and feel like he has to cover all his bases. the fact that they're going to have some separation anxiety with him isn't going to help, if they dont know where he is they're not going to react in a levelheaded fashion and that just sounds like itd start a feedback loop of panic LMAO

[angelpuns]

50Au Part 23

“ You let him fall asleep!?” Donnie hissed. featuring with both hands at the current situation on the couch. Which was a possibly reset Leo and a guily-looking Raph. 

“ Raph didn't mean to-” Raph protested, but snapper his mouth shut when Leo stirred a little. 

Donnie tried not to groan, knowing that could wake Leo up. They needed a plan, Now. 

Even with all the data he collected, it was hard to say if sleeping caused the reset or if it was a time thing. So Leo could be a ticking time bomb for all they knew. Or he could wake up perfectly normal, since technically it was the same day. 

Either way, Donnie didn't want Leo waking up here in the TV room. He didn't want to take a chance on Leo panicking when he saw Raph and running again. Or trying to run. 

At least they had gotten the rest of the ingredients. Barry was cooking them up in his lab right now to make the potion or salve or whatever it was. Tomorrow he would prepare the memory spell and they’d be able to go into Leo's memories and get rid of the curse. 

They were so close to the end of this thing and yet Donnie felt as if he'd learned almost nothing about the actual curse. 

As much as he didn't want Leo to freak out and run…this could be a good moment to gather a bit more data. Just in case they needed it. 

Just in case, for some reason, they weren't able to break the curse in the next two days and they needed to know this. 

“ I'm going to wake him up,” He murmured, “ Raph, be ready to grab him if he tries to run.”

“What? Donnie, if we wake him up now, he'll run for sure!” Mikey whispered. He grabbed Donnie's arm, “ let's just put him.in his room and wait for him to wake up again”

“he’ll probably wake up if we move him anyway,” Donnie pointed out, wrenching his arm away with a huff, “besides, this way we'll know if he resets when he sleeps or if it's some kind of time based reaction. I'm just gathering data,��� 

Mikey let out a frustrated huff, but didn't argue. 

The lair was locked down, Leo's swords were locked away, and Donnie had a hand on the tranq gun, still tucked away in his pocket. 

Donnie gave Leo's shoulder a little shake, watching with bated breath as his twin woke up.

He yawned and stretched a little, before sitting up. Not waking up in a total panic was good, at least. 

Leo blinked awake, glancing between the three of them with a confused expression. 

“ Um…why are you guys watching me nap?” He asked, frowning faintly, “ I asked Raph if it was okay if I napped on him, so-”

He glanced at Raph and shot him an apologetic smile,“ I guess you didn't actually answer, sorry about that man” 

Donnie kept his hand on the gun in his pocket. He gave Leo a once-over. He didn't seem any more suspicious of them than he had been this morning, not from what Donnie could tell anyway. 

“ what do you remember, Leo?”

Leo rolled his eyes, “ geez you guys are persistent. I woke up this morning and apparently spawned a family into existence, then we ate breakfast and then me and Raph sat down to watch Punch Chowder!” 

Well. This was a development. 

“Ha! New data!” Donnie quickly pulled out his phone and typed it into his notes, recording that Leo took a nap and still remembered the morning's events, “ so it's not triggered by sleeping! It must be a time-based curse, so you forget at midnight or 2 am or something,” 

He grabbed Leo's shoulders, “ tell me, about what time did you wake up last night? I might be able to figure out the exact time you're memory is being erased, if not I can at least estimate the hour-”

Leo grimaced and seemed to shrink away from the touch, Donnie remembering a moment too late that - montage or not - Leo still didn't exactly trust them. 

“Sorry- anyway, about what time would you say you woke up? Midnight? 3?” He pulled his hands away with what he hoped was an apologetic smile, “oh! Wait, I can just check the cameras. To the lab!” 

Donnie spun on his heel to run up to his lab and check, only to run directly into Splinter. 

“ Oh! Purple, please watch where you're going, you almost spilled my tea,” he scoffed, stepping around Donnie and into the TV room. 

Donnie spun on his heel and turned right back around. Data could wait. They'd forgotten a key component of their montage. And that was Splinter. 

“ Pops, you shouldn't-”

“Dad Now’s not really-”

“ What is with you boys? I just want to sit down and watch my show, I've had a long week!” Splinter huffed, stepping past them all and flopping into his chair, “ You all are acting very suspicious.” 

Donnie looked at Leo, who was staring at Splinter with huge eyes. 

“Um…I think you guys have a rat pr-” 

Raph slapped his hand over Leo's mouth, quickly shaking his head. 

“ Um, Pops, look, we kinda, sorta forgot to tell you about-” He started, but Splinter shushed him with a couple waves of his hand. 

“ shush shush, this is my favorite part. You can tell me after!” 

They all watched as Lou Jitsu slid of a building on a motorcycle, Splinter cheering giddily at the scene. 

“ yes! You know, I broke my leg in two places doing that stunt!” He chuckled, “ But we got the take and I won an award for it!” 

Leo pushed Raph’s hand away, mouth agape. 

“ I'm sorry, are you saying you’re Lou Jitsu?” He questioned, grimacing, “ Are we sure I'm the one with the memory curse here, because you don't look like him at all?”

Donnie sighed and ran a hand down his face. They really needed to add in a bit on the montage about Splinter’s whole…situation. 

Splinter turned to look at Leo with a frown, “I’m not that old, don't try and mess with me, Leonardo” 

Donnie cleared his throat. This was going to be both awkward and annoying, that was for sure. 

“ Papa, Leo was cursed to forget us, and we may have forgotten to tell you about it and also may have forgotten to tell him about you,” He explained, trying to keep it as simple as possible, “Leo, this is our dad. He is, in fact, Lou Jitsu.” 

Leo studied him for a moment before deflating with a sigh, “ I mean its not the weirdest thing I've been told today, and its not as if I have any choice but to believe it” 

“ Good! You better believe it!”  Splinter huffed, before he turned to Raph, “Now please explain what all of that means, because I am still a little confused. How long had he been cursed?”

Raph thought for a moment, “....4 days, five or take,” 

“ and you didn't think to tell your father because…?” Splinter sighed, setting his tea aside and standing up, “ I thought you boys were supposed to be relying on me more…” 

He walked over to Leo, who leaned back a little as Splinter stepped into his space. 

Splinter put out his hands, but Leo leaned back further. 

Donnie remembered after the invasion, when Leo couldn't leave the med bay. When he couldn't even move. 

Splinter would come in and check on him and hold his hand. And sometimes, even though Leo had been delirious with pain or so confused he didn't even know who he was, Splinter would hold out his hands and Leo would press his face into them. 

Papa used to do it for all of them when they were young. He'd hold out his hands and they'd press their faces into them with a giggle. And Splinter would lovingly squeeze their cheeks, or give their face a little pat, or he would thumb away tears. 

But Leo didn't know about that. He didn't think he had any of that right now. 

So Splinter held our his hands and Leo just looked at him. 

Papa pulled his hands away with a sigh, “ I see. You really have forgotten us, haven't you?” 

“Uh, yeah, that's like the whole point of the curse,” Leo muttered, frowning faintly. He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but shut it when he saw whatever expression Splinter wore. 

“ Dad, how ‘bout me and Donnie fill you in on everything that's happened while I make lunch, okay?” Mikey suggested, already getting up. 

Splinter followed without question, glancing back at Leo with a growing frown. 

“ Don't worry. We're gonna fix everything, “ Donnie murmured, already starting for the kitchen himself.

---

forgot to write the author's note cause I was distracted! I do have thoughts on this. I actually wasn't sure if I was gonna go this route or not. I don't really like this part simply because it's really just me trying to get information out? Like I usually try for a bit more feeling, but this part feels..cold to me. Also I hate writing Splinter but this was too funny of a oppurtunity to pass up cause man how wild would it be if you woke up and suddenly had a dad who was famous BUT ALSO apparently a rat man? yeah that'd be wild.

also can you tell I posted this from my actual computer this time. It looks way better but I usually post from my phone cause I write it on google docs there without editing and then just throw it out here for ya'll lmao.

Part 1 | Part 22 | Part 24

[savemeafruitjuice]

Tickletober Day 1- Anticipation

Okay, here we go! I don't think I'll put gifs or pictures for every day, because I'd run out pretty quick, but we'll see!

Lee: Leo

Ler: Donnie (kind of?)

TW!: SWEARING!

"Ahem! And now, I present to you.. A new chair!"

Leo gasped, running over to where his purple brother stood, and ran his hands over the fabric on the new invention Donnie had just given him. "A chair! Ohh, now I don't have to wait for Dad to go to the bathroom to use his!"

Donnie smirked, hands clasped behind his back as he basked in his twin's approval. Well, the chair had a liiittle more to it than meets the eye. Donnie watched as his brother went to sit, then brought a small purple remote from behind him.

"Oh, Leo. As you know, I like to go above and beyond to make my gifts exceptional. Hence, I have added many features for your comfort." Leo, already leaned back in his seat, eyed the remote with curiosity.

"What kind of features? Oh! Can I recline it like Dad's?" A short chuckle came from the tech genius, and he pressed a button. Soon enough, the chair did infact lower, so that now Leo was facing the ceiling. "Yes, among many other additional things. With this baby, comes two cup holders, a foot rest, and.." he trailed off, having demonstrated each of the things he listed off. "a massage option."

The sword-wielding teen sat up, the chair rising with the click of a button to follow his movement. The leg rest went back down, and the slider noticed the mechanisms in which his legs were in. There were slots that each limb laid in, along with a smirk from his brother. All of a sudden, something was triggered in the machine, and the slots were now shut with his legs in them, along with more latches on the sides of his shell.

"I have specifically designed the chair to your assets, as well as sensors to detect movement. In a moment, I'm going to turn it on. It is very very important that you completely relaax. Two 'very's." A quizzical look overtook Leo's face. He tried to lean forward, but his shell kept him firmly in place. His legs were immobilized, and it seemed all he could move were his arms and head. The slider looked to the other. "Hey Donnie? How come I can't move?"

"The chair is designed to be as relaxing as possible. Therefore, once it is on, you won't need to move. Here, allow me." Donnie flipped a switch on the remote, and something shifted in the leg area of the contraption. It was now that Leo had become more conscious of his twin's body language. Don was acting.. strange. Like he was keeping something from him.

His suspicions were interrupted as padded metal came into contact with his legs, and it was now that Leo realized that the "massage" wasn't really planned to relax him. Eughhh boy.

"Wait- Donnie, no. You- you can't do this to me! I'm your hermano, your brother!" He tried to pry himself out with his arms, but it was no use. The blue-themed turtle looked at his brother with pleading eyes as panic settled in.

"Whatever do you mean? I'm merely trying to provide comfort and happiness to my oh-so-lovable brother." Donatello held up the remote, moving his finger excruciatingly slowly towards another button.

Leo panicked, trying to do anything that would result in his escape. He couldn't retract into his shell, he couldn't pull his legs out, and he was 90% sure that Donnie wasn't planning on releasing him just because he asked. Well.. 10% means he still has hope, right?

"DON! Donnie please, I'll do your chores for a week! Don't do it!"

Donnie only chuckled. "Oh Nardo, I'm afraid there's nothing you can do." His finger lowered the rest of the way, switching something that was sure to bring hell to his brother. Leo just about screamed as an unbearable tickling sensation shot through his entire body, the entirety of his legs being pressed into in light, circular motions.

"GyahaHAHAHAH!! OHOH SHIHIHIHIT!"

------

There we go! I know that there's really only t-wording at the end, but the theme was 'anticipation', so worry not! There will be more!

I got the idea for this a little bit ago. One of my childhood friends had a leg massaging chair, and the memory just recently resurfaced. My first thought was, 'Oh yeah, Leo would absolutely die if he was forced into one of those.' so yeah! I'll put a picture of what I mean below.

Happy October!! 🎃🎃🎃

[percyaugod]

Soft AU: Savage Raph

@harrygrim

Savage Raph would absolutely love and do everything to protect Donnie. Savage Raph hates being alone and 'Soft' has been alone for years. 'Soft' is like him but more so. 'Soft' needs Savage Raph more than Savage Raph needs 'Soft'.

Savage Raph lets Soft sit on his shoulders. Soft likes to feel tall.

Soft also likes that finally one of the turtles is acting and talking more normally. So much easier to communicate. Savage Raph has limited knowledge of skin creatures' language and also thinks it's aggravating that the others keep using it.

One time Soft woke up and didn't see the others (They were in the kitchen letting the feral turtle continue to sleep) and started panicking. Calling, screaming, begging them to come back. Even making the skin creature sounds that get their attention. The others nearly had a panic attack themselves when they heard an unfamiliar voice yell out Raph's name from inside the lair.

Didn't help that the voice was cracked and raspy from lack of use.

Soft trying to ask why they left them alone. They don't like being alone. Alone is lonely. Alone is so much more dangerous than together. It's safer together. Warmer together. Please no more alone.

Raph picking up the intense feeling of being fearful and alone goes Savage Raph right then and there. Savage Raph sees another turtle/brother who also doesn't like being alone and immediately clings to them. Feels their shell and immediately associates them with Soft. They are Soft and they are now Savage Raph's Soft. Soft is confused by the odd shift in behavior but is soothed by the growls and chirps of Soft Family Protect No More alone.

It's not until one of them tries to get closer to see if Soft hurt themselves in their panic and Raph growls at them that they kind of figure out what happened. It's kind of concerning that the feral turtle was somehow able to trigger Raph but right now they need to be looked over. Savage Raph snaps at them but that seems to upset the feral turtle who gives a quiet shriek. They make more chitters, growls, and hisses at each other before Leo is allowed to look at the Feral turtle.

Leo rambles while looking them over and Savage Raph lets out an annoyed 'Noisy'. Before Leo can voice his offense the feral turtle makes a question chirp. Savage Raph makes a quiet chitter in response. The feral turtle nods and says 'Noisy'. Leo sighs and turns to Savage Raph.

'Welp! No need to worry! Feral here is A-okay.'

'Soft.'

Leo blinks. 'Huh?'

Raph points at the feral turtle. 'Soft.'

Leo shrugs. 'I guess their name is Soft for now.'

Savage Raph glares. 'Soft!'

'You can't just name people Soft!'

'SOFT!'

Leo throws his own arms up in exasperation. 'Fine! They're Soft! Are you happy?'

Savage Raph gives a curt nod before curling back around Soft.

[autistic-donnie-tello]

"I Can Fix This"

Word Count: 712

Rating: M (non-detailed depiction of wounds and blood)

Content/Trigger Warnings: blood, major character death

Authors Notes: This is actually my first ROTTMNT fanfic, and it's just a one-shot idea I had last night. It's super short and pretty simple but I hope you like it!

GIF by adentollo

Donnie couldn’t understand how it had happened.  They had all been doing so well — so it seemed, at least — but then… god, he just saw so much blood.  Leo had been trying to cover it, hand over his chest, hunched over, but still smiling wide with his head cocked back.  “It’s gonna take more than that to take me out, muchacho,” he had taunted before violently swinging a katana in front of him with his free hand, ending the villain that had harmed him once and for all. 

But then he fell. 

He fell so hard it sounded like thunder in Donnie’s ears; the room felt so harshly bright as the crack, boom! of the fall echoed in his head.  Raph and Mikey kept fighting, Raph with that slightly upturned grin he wore when he knew his fight was almost over. 

But Donnie’s world had completely stopped spinning.  Rotation of planet Earth had come to an abrupt stop, and he could feel everything in the room moving hundreds of thousands of miles an hour.  Everything was hissing and screaming as it flung itself into chaos — everything but himself and Leo, who still managed a smile. 

Donnie scrambled towards his brother, hands sliding against the ground as he stumbled across the destroyed room.  His gait was low to the floor and panicked, hardly able to get upright as he approached Leo; he fell onto his knees and looked at the horrifying wound in his chest.  

“I can fix this, I can fix this.”

His breathing labored, Leo insisted, “Donnie, please, it’s alright —“

“No!” Donnie’s voice was a desperate screech.  The smell of iron was overwhelming.  He could hear Mikey laugh in the background as the sounds of battle raged on.  They were doing well, seemingly not just winning their fights, but enjoying them.  They had no idea.  How could they not realize?

He pushed his hands against the gaping wound in Leo’s chest, covering himself in blood as he attempted to add pressure.  Why couldn’t he remember any first aid now?  All the times Leo had tried to teach him, the times that he listened, that he learned, that he practiced and practiced and practiced and succeeded, where was that knowledge now?  His mind felt foggy; he desperately searched for information he knew was stored somewhere in his brain, but as he ran through his mind all he could find was fog. 

Donnie managed eye contact with Raph for a quick moment as he looked towards where Leo and Donnie had been fighting just a moment before.  Raph saw the terror and panic on Donnie’s face before seeing Leo, clearly maimed, lying on the ground.  His grin fell, and the whites of his eyes dominated his face.  Frozen in place, he stared at Donnie, who slowly shook his head.  Large tears formed in Donnie’s eyes and fell down his cheeks. 

Raph took a hard punch to the jaw, violently ripping him from his frozen stupor.  Newfound rage would aid him now as he howled a battle cry, his blows becoming harder and faster. 

With what little strength he had, Leo firmly grabbed Donnie’s wrist and smiled slightly at him.  “It’s okay.  I’m okay with this.”

“I’m not okay with this!” Donnie cried.  Leo’s grin faltered as Donnie continued, “I know you don’t care if something happens to you, but I do!”  His tears were falling onto the front of Leo’s shell, where they slid slowly down to the floor and joined the blood that had pooled beside him.  “I can’t… don’t make us go home without you. Please.”

There was no smile on his face as he looked his brother in the eyes and responded, “I’m sorry.  We both know…" A pained hiss interrupted his sentence, "it’s too late.  You have to go.”

“No, Leo, I can fix this, you just have to let me… I’ll… I can…”

His voice became serious, a pleading resonance hidden behind an authoritative tone, “Donnie.  You have to go home, and you have to promise me you'll learn to be okay after this.”  His hand moved away from Donnie’s wrist and up to his face, and he found his smile again.  “I’ll see you again, hermano. Tell Raph and Mikey I love ‘em.” 

Donnie continued to scream, but his pleads were met with silence. 

[dgknightblue]

I have unfairly only thought about rise Leo and his interactions with alternate them’s.

What about Donnie?

Mikey?

Raph?

I feel like they would acknowledge not only that he is a soft shell, but that he is one of the most blood thirsty species of turtles and are surprised at how well he is surprising it. Someone don’t understand how the way he acts is “suppressing” but say nothing and take a step back.

They would adore him as they should. Then try not to pee when they see him lift a heavy object with his chains. They love his cooking but got kicked out of his kitchen when trying to bond with him.

They judge him for a second before being stunned at him softly hug one his brothers and help them out of a panic attack. He was crying.

They realized these kids could get their help like they never really did. They try not to be too hard on them then.

They rarely see rise Raph look like the other Raph’s even when he shows his anger- they only ever see him be super terrifying it comes to protecting his brothers from something or someone.

They realize late that these kids are unhinged because they are mostly polite.

When they see their problems that are poorly hidden, unlike Leo who seems to master the keeping secrets down bad, they try to help without making them feel threatened by their help.

The kids are broken like they are and feel guilty they couldn’t stop that. No one could ever save them- they always have to save themselves or their friends.

There were a lot of things they learned from the kids too. Like some of them didn’t know what stimming was or that they do it.

The kids just walk into human place without a care and get prescription meds or off brand meds that work for their issues.

Apparently New Yorkers aren’t supposed to bat an eye at crazy stuff. Also the kids generation just joke about really sad stuff because they all have issues and wow did they correct someone on how to shank people?

This generation is so desensitized. It wasn’t that it was a different universe (maybe) it was also the culture that had developed as a coping mechanism within the youth as a whole.

(Where am I going with this???)

Anyway they have their own crisis over the things they learned.

Raph hasn’t met Mona Lisa yet???

Or Renet?

Slash?

No bebop or rocksteady?

Baxter Stockboy??? Is a kid???

The only aliens they’ve met are the Kraang?

Kraang is a trigger word?

They all shift uncomfortably as Raph hyperventilates as he searches for Leo and they all hug him. He tells them he’s fine, Alive, won’t disappear, and they are safe.

They don’t like the way he smiles when he says that.

Then they find out the kids are criminals that have been to jail and know crime bosses. At least they’ve never killed before, right? Right?

“Your first response was to cut him in half!?”

“What? He was on my head! I panicked! I’d like to see what you’d do if something was gross and wiggling and touching you-“

“Okay I get where you’re coming from- but please try to say calm next time.”

They do not like Baron Draxum or Big Mama.

[turtle-go-brrrr]

Hi, may I please request the bayverse turtles x male reader who likes to wear women’s clothes like skirts and dresses, but because of fear of judgment, he only wears them at home, but then the boys come over to visit one night and see him wearing a dress, and at first the reader almost panics and has a mini heart attack, but then comfort ensues?

My first request 🥺

I was gonna stick to headcanons at first, but I just love this prompt so much! Thank you for requesting ^^ I hope you like it! (Took some IRL experiences from my best friend because he's amazing and wear dresses like a champ uwu)

Handsome

Male! Reader

Requested: Yes

Pairing: None, platonic

Word count: 1090

Triggers: none

Summary: You found the prettiest dress last week and have yet to try it on. You know you look good, but an unexpected visit still makes you doubt yourself.

_____________________________________________________________

You were looking hella fine on this late Saturday evenning.

The dress you found is pretty simple, actually. With short sleeves, a defined waist, falling right above your knees. Kind of a vintage style, but the modern patterns really caught your eye. And when you tried it on? You fell in love. You almost didn’t regret that shopping spree April dragged you on.

But here you were, your cool ass dress on, sitting on your couch waiting for the ordered food to come in. You didn’t actually got out with more feminine clothes on for… well, for obvious reasons, shall we say. But chilling in your own home? Why stop yourself?

The food came in quick, and after tipping the delivery guy, you flopped down on your couch once again, putting on the latest show you promised you were going to watch. You put your food on your lap, drolling at the smell, and started the first episode.

Not even five minutes in, you heard a knock. You pressed pause and checked the door, thinking the delivery guy might have forgotten something. But you hear the knock again, and it comes from your window. And you know exactly who it is.

Oops.

Well, turns out your favorite mutants decided to pay you an unnanounced visit tonight. You scambled around your living room, not knowing if you should tell them to wait while you changed, or if you should open anyway.

They’re your friends. They’re not gonna judge you, dumbass. Just trust them.

Apparently, your late response made them think you were in danger. And apparently, that meant they were going to force your window. Sweet. Your window flew open after a few suspicious clicking sounds, and four very big, very mutated turtles fell right after the other in your living room. Michelangelo was the first to recover and get right back on his feet.

“Dude, are you okay? Why did it take so long?” He said, panicked. He looked at your flustered face, then dragged his eyes up and down shamelessely and stopped.

“What’s that smell ? Did you order without us?” He asked sadly before being shoved aside by Leonardo who took you by the shoulders, inspecting you as if you just got ran over by a truck, Donatello following close behind with his goggles in front of his eyes.

“You’re all being ridiculous, you know that?” You try your best to hide your embarassment, but you’re doing a terrible job. And they can all see it. You wait for the laughs, or the snide comments, even the disapointed tooks on their faces, but after a very uncomfortable silence you hear Raphael speak up.

“Cool dress. You never told us you could look this fine.” He smirks, and for once, he’s not being sarcastic.

“I- uuuh... What?”

“Yeah, c’mon bro. You know we love human fashion. Why do you think we’re always nagging April to show off her best outfits?”

“Mikey, leave him alone. And you should leave April alone, too.”

“But dude, look at him! He’s so handsome in that dress, it’s a crime not to show it off!” Mikey throws his hands in the air in defeat as Leo passes next to you, inspecting the other rooms of your appartment for any sign of danger.

“No one’s there except you guys, Leo. Also, did you break my window? Because I’m not paying for that.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure Donnie can fix -” The resident genius interrupts him with a slap behing the head.

Leo comes back, apparently satisfied with his search, and looks right at you. “Why were you so nervous when we came in if you aren’t in any danger?” You swear his super power is asking just the right questions.

You hesitate. They’re your friends. They trust you, and you know you can trust them.

But being vulnerable isn’t easy.

“Well, um…” You take a deep breath. “Okay, how do I put this ?” You can’t stop fidgeting with your hands. Openning up to your friends was harder than it looked like. “I was, uh, scared ? That you’d judge me. You know, for being a guy in a dress and all ?” Your voice is a lot softer than you’d like, and you can hear it crack. Damn you.

They all stare at you, obvious surprise on their faces. And you feel the heat creeping up your neck ana a cold sweat falling down your spine. Your nerves weren’t in your favor tonight.

“Huh?” You think it comes from Mikey. “Why would we judge you for wering a dress? You rock it, man.” Leo puts a hand on your shoulder and gives it an affectionate squeeze in silent support.

“Hey, as long as you don’t wear crocs like Fearless over here, we’re ain’t gonna judge you, bud.” You’ve never seen Raph look at you so softly before, but it quickly washes away by the side smirk he gives you just before saying : “Besides, you’re hot as hell, man. I’m not complaining.”

Leo groans, Donnie laughs, and Mikey shoves your shoulder playfully.

You laugh too, intense relief washing over you as your anxiety comes down, but you have to ask.

“You don’t think it makes me… Like, less manly or something ?” This time, you intentionally show your concern. You know they don’t but you need to hear it from them.

Raph ruffles your hair and passes an arm around your shoulders, directing you to the couch. “If anything, I’d say it makes you more manly. You wear what you wear and look good doin’ it. It’s all about confidence.” You cling to his arm, the biggest smile on your face.

“Y/N, I studied quantum physics, astrophysics, rocket science, number theory and so much more, and I can now understand all of those concepts perfectly. But gender? What the fuck were you guys thinking when you created those? And why give one to a piece of cloth?” Donnie gives you a playful wink as he takes his – your – place on the couch.

“You sharin’?” Mikey motions at the food on the table, and you give him a fork. You all take place in front of the TV, getting comfortable and you start the episode again.

You almost want to cry. You know they wouldn’t judge you for that either.

[cy-fi-theansweris42]

Aftermath AU: The Blame Game

Hey look, this one gets a title! Written for @donitkitt‘s Aftermath AU (one day I’ll write something else...maybe XD). Trigger warnings for past/referenced torture and guilt. (That’s all I can think of, if I missed any please let me know!) 

They were home. Away from the torture, the pure psychotic pain that Bishop eagerly put them through. Despite being home, being safe in familiar surroundings, there was a stillness in the air, a tension growing in the near silence of the lair, as each of the four brothers were lost in their own thoughts.

Leo moved slowly through a kata in the dojo, the movements muscle memory now. Despite the familiarity, it did nothing to stop the downward spiral of his thoughts. He should have been better. Should have kept his guard up when they went to meet up with Raph, should have fought better against Bishop, should have gotten Mikey out of there sooner, should have, should have, should have…there was so much he should have done. He was the leader after all, he should have come up with a way to get out faster, and more importantly, he was their big brother, he should have protected them, spared them from everything that they now suffer from. He would take it all in a heartbeat, every injury, every nightmare, every moment of panic and fear if it meant his brothers finally felt safe and happy again instead of paranoid and anxious in their own home. Now, with his eyesight going, blurring more and more by the day, how could he be the leader they needed him to be? How can he protect them if he can’t even see what’s coming? Maybe this was his punishment, for sending Raph away to figure out how to control that temper of his on his own instead of being there for him and help, and then for letting his brothers get caught by Bishop and suffering so much. Losing the ability to see what matters most to him because he wasn’t enough to save them…it’s what he deserves.

-TMNT-

Raphael tried to focus on making dinner, humming some song he couldn’t remember the lyrics to, tried to recall those instead of the memories and doubts that roared for his attention. He should have had better control of his temper. Back then it raged so much, a solar flare that scorched everything close by, a wildfire that burned out of control with the slightest trigger. He understood why Leo tossed him out, told him not to come back until he got it under control (sometimes in his dreams he still sees the terrified look on Mikey’s face, the protective anger on Donnie’s and the disappointment on Leo’s), how he kept inching closer and closer to doing something he couldn’t just apologize for because of that anger. But still, if he hadn’t gotten so mad and had to crash at Casey’s, then he wouldn’t have gotten caught by Bishop and used as bait. (A twisted part of him that still screamed with rage wanted to blame Leo, if he hadn’t kicked him out, then none of this would have happened, but he shoved that part down deep and refused to give it a seconds thought). So he stayed calm, cracked bad jokes, and did his best to be his brother’s go-to when they were having bad days, it was the least he could do. Afterall, look what happened the last time he let his emotions get out of control.

-TMNT-

Pen in hand, Donnie carefully went drew a blueprint, occasionally scribbling equations on the side. Drawing out ideas and making them a reality was second nature to him now, and as he planned out components and requirements for his new arm, his thoughts drifted back to what made this a necessity in the first place. The more he thought about it, the more bitter his thoughts became. He should have been smarter. All this knowledge, this ability to create and think miles ahead of everyone else, and when it counted most? When he needed some ingenious idea to get his brothers to safety and away from a complete psychopath? Nothing. They barely managed to get Mikey out and even then, it hadn’t been guaranteed to work, leaving his little brother on his own. He should have thought of something, got under Bishop’s skin somehow so he’d slip up. The guy had some sicko fascination with him, maybe if he played that, he could have gotten his brothers out sooner and safer. A big “what if”, but still, look at them all now; Raph missing an eye, something was up with Leo’s eyes too (not that he’d said anything, stubborn jerk), and Mikey panicking so often and unable to eat so many foods due to the trauma of having his tooth forcibly ripped from his mouth. If he could have prevented his, prevented all these new ways that they’re suffering even out of Bishop’s lab, anything would have been worth it. But all these “what ifs” and ideas now did them no good; he didn’t think of them fast enough and now they were all paying the price.

-TMNT-

Game controller in hand, Mikey mindlessly moved his character through the game levels, so familiar with this game he could play it with his eyes closed. Instead of distracting him like he hoped it would, a good familiar game with nothing but positive memories attached, the lack of attention he had to give it only allowed him to wander further and further into the thoughts he was trying to ignore in the first place. He should have been faster. If he hadn’t taken so long to find his way back home, to heal, to get his brothers out, then maybe things would be better. If he had just pushed, pleaded, convinced Splinter that they needed to go back right away, maybe Raph would still have his eye, Donnie would still have his arm, and Leo could still see well (Mikey remembered too well in the tunnels how Leo’s eyes roamed almost fearfully as he kept asking him which way home was, saw how Leo squinted sometimes at things sometimes when he thought no one was looking, put two and two together and then stopped thinking about it because then his breath would catch in his throat because he should have been faster, shouldn’t have been so scared, should have come through for his brothers when they were counting on him). But he’d been too slow, too many stops to try and breathe while he desperately listened for following footsteps, too much time lost while he healed to Splinter’s satisfaction. And his brothers suffered for it. They suffered Bishop’s punishments for letting him get away, because he had been too slow.

So many “what ifs”, so many “I should haves”. Even though it had all been out of their control, the only person truly to blame being Bishop, they each couldn’t help, but blame themselves.

[capncrankle]

Bedtime stories.

TMNT 2016

Story used in the end: The Stars in the Sky.

Headcannon story: Mikey used to have a lot of nightmares as a child, and his brothers tried different ways to help him. After years of almost no nightmares, or if he did have them, they wouldn’t be scaring him too much anymore. He has a nightmare that terrifies him.

Mikey likes bedtime stories, any kind. Princess tales, adventure, fantasy and on. He’d have Leo reading them for him either after nightmares, for comfort, or if he’s in the mood and tired. Leo (or one of the others) is always up to help him out.

(Lmao i tried my best xD)

Michelangelo had woken up about 30 minutes ago, and he was fully awake. His nightmare had terrified him, he’d never been so afraid in his life. Normally he’d shaken the nightmare off cause they didn’t get to him anymore, but that wasn’t an option this time.

It was 3am last time he checked.

He’d been sitting up in his bed, knees pulled up the best they could as his shell was against the wall. He searched the room in the dark every 5 minutes. He didn’t check under his bed though.

No way.

His brothers were sleeping and it’s been years since he’d woken one of them up after a nightmare. And he didn’t want to start again.

Silently but quickly he jumped out of bed, if anyone was here they would have pointed out that he landed about almost a meter away. But Raphael - Who slept on the top mattress - was asleep anyways. Same with, Leonardo on the other side of the room. Donatello was nowhere in sight though. His small “corner” was also pretty dark when his LED lights were off

But he hadn’t checked under the bed and this turtle, wasn’t taking any risks. Quickly walking to the door he opened it and closed quickly. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, he was still freaked out after all. 

You know, that thing every person goes through when they’re a child. Monster under the bed, better jump out of it with a meter’s distance to be safe. Better close the door quickly, to not let the evil thing out after you.

Or keeping the door open cause using the bathroom is really needed, and the evil might be out, so you quickly close the door and jump into bed before anything can grab you.

Mikey quietly walked into the tv room and sat on the pizza box couch, turning the tv on quickly and getting comfortable.

He kept looking around to make sure he was good, but heard rustling towards Donatello’s lab.

Even though there was a great distance from the couch and the room where Donnie did his science things in, he still got anxious.

He silently sneaked over to see what he was up to. He was cleaning his things and he almost looked done. Mikey let out a quiet sigh and went back to the couch.

His mind drifted to the nightmare he had and he suddenly grew scared again.  He hid his face in his hands as he tried to forget it.

He was in a giant closed off place. Giant walls surrounded him, they looked old. They had cracks and giant scratches.

He wasn’t alone, but he surely hoped he was. If something could make such giant scratches he didn’t want to be anywhere near it. They were deep and looked slightly bloody.

He ventured alone in the giant forest. The biggest trees he’d ever seen was over him. They were tight and he felt claustrophobic out of a sudden.

He stumbled past something that was colored.

It reminded him of something but he couldn’t quite point out what it was.

He picked it up and realized it was a bandana.

A purple one to be exact.

Okay so maybe he wasn’t alone. Somebody lost this, he was sure of that. Maybe they wanted it back?

‘Stupid to think when you’re in the middle of a giant mess, Mike’ he thought to himself.

Venturing deeper he found crosses made out of wood, placed in the dirt. They looked bloody as well.

He was freaked out now. Stumbling upon this kind of thing wasn’t exactly what he needed at the moment.

He noticed another bandana and quickly picked it up. This was one was slightly bloody as well, just like the purple one.

Blue.

He knew he’d seen this somewhere. He grew frustrated and wrapped it around his wrist with the purple one. He sighed out and quickly hurried out.

It wasn’t long before he stumbled upon metal pipes of some sort poking out of the ground in different directions and making the grass and dirt look messed up. Leaves covered some of the ground.

walking through the field of metal pipes or what they were he stumbled upon a red bandana.

Picking it up he thought he heard growling. He stiffened. ‘Shit.’ went through his mind.

He tried to quickly wrap the thing around his wrist but failed as his shaky movements triggered another low growl.

He didn’t dare turn around but rather decided to attempt an escape.

He had no idea where to hell he was going or how would somewhere safe, cause the thing or whatever the hell it was, was catching up to him rather fast. He was running as fast as his small legs could carry him at the moment. He was out of air rather quickly, as he went between the thick trees and stopped when he found a curved tree and quickly scooted under it.

He found himself hyperventilating when he looked to the bandanas.

These colors.

These bandanas.

They meant something, and they meant a lot.

He needed his brothers. He needed them now.

Mikey was too lost in his own thoughts and lost in his nightmare to hear the faint panicked voices from the real world and they grew louder and louder as they ventured around the place.

Someone walked quickly into the tv room and what they were about to witness would break them for the next week.

There on the couch. Was Raphael’s baby brother. He was hyperventilating and choking on tears.

“Guys i found him!” Mikey heard a voice again, as an ear piercing sound kept growing around him, around him, as a pounding headache creeped up on him. He looked up and to his side when he felt someone wrap their arms around him and pulling him towards them.

He grabbed onto his older brother as he sobbed into his chest.

He could feel his two other brothers beside him. They had come to the rescue when, Raph, yelled for them.

They woke up when Donnie sneaked into the room heading for his bed, but realizing Mikey wasn’t there. He woke up the hothead first to hear if he knew where he was. Maybe he had woken up and seen him leave?

After a few minutes of them comforting him and whispering words back and forth, he finally calmed down enough to pull away from his brother’s side.

He looked up and noticed the scar over his brother’s lip. Raph had been the first to find him and he’d been the one hugging him. Comforting him. “I had a pretty bad nightmare..” He trailed off as he chuckled slightly.

His brothers understood instantly and they helped him stand.

Raphael helped him back into their bedrooms and into his bed. He sat beside him on a chair.

Leonardo returned with a big book, Mikey found himself smiling as his brother dragged a chair up beside him, his oldest brother smiled brightly at him.

Donatello came into the room, he had a class of Mikey’s favourite juice and placed it on a table nearby, he sat down on Mikey’s bed by his feet.

Raph turned on a small orange lamp beside him, that they had made for him when they were children, back when he was dealing with nightmares weekly. It helped and he stopped using it after a while. Since nightmares were almost monthly and sometimes he didn’t really have any for a long time.

Splinter was silently standing in the doorway. He had woken up when Raphael had called out for his brothers. And he had seen everything.

The small turtle got his blanket over his shoulders and Donnie kept a hand on his lower leg over the blanket.

Splinter was smiling. His eyes full of love as he turned around to leave. He heard the start and was satisfied with how it was turning out.

He could see how much they cared for him. How Raphael came to the rescue when he found him, in complete panic on the couch, as he pulled him close to his side. How Leonardo went to find a book, he knew they had training, he knew they needed sleep. How Donatello looked drained of energy, he looked like he could pass out any minute, but he stayed awake to comfort his little brother. They all got up to search for him, they were worried cause either he could be in danger, upset or sleeping somewhere else without telling them. And their baby brother came first. He’d always come first.

Leo opened the book as he began.

”Once on a time and twice on a time, and all times together as ever I heard tell of, there was a tiny lassie who would weep all day to have the stars in the sky to play with”