#sorry for typos I wrote this up quickly with hardly a spell check

[ataraxetta]

Three of Bruce's Audio Logs from the Gotham Knights game that hit me like a punch. The first is directly after Barbara's injury and mostly about Jason's death, the next is about missing Dick and wishing he could make things right between them, and the third is about Jason coming back into the fold and some Lazarus Pit pondering. Text is below under the cut, but Bruce's voice actor does some amazing work here with adding emotional depth, so I suggest listening if it is a thing you might be into!

LOG ENTRY BT-45 - SPIRAL

"Log entry BT-42...

Alfred, I can't do this. Not now.

[Alfred: If you don't make time for this now, Master Bruce, then when will you? Take all the time you need.]

I didn't know so much could go wrong. There's nowhere else I can go. Dick stopped by Gotham again. Our meetings lately have been...strained. I pushed him away. And this time I don't know if he'll ever come back. He worried about my 'obsessions.' But I wasn't focused nearly enough. If I was, then Barbara--

She got hurt. Paralyzed. Maybe permanently. Because she was trying to help me. I let her take on too much. I should have been there. I Failed her. Barbara, and Dick, and... Jason.

Jason barely got a chance. He could have been great for Gotham. The best kind of Robin. But he was reckless. Rushing into danger like that--No. I'm responsible for this. After being too strict with Dick, I tried to give Jason more freedom. I should have been paying more attention. He went off on his own to be a hero. Then that monster MURDERED him for it.

He was killed because of me.

I'd do anything to fix this. Things I said I'd never do.

Like speak with Talia again. I swore to myself I'd NEVER consider using a Lazarus Pit. The risks, even compared to death, were too great. But I had to know if resurrection was even possible. But when I tracked her down, I couldn't even ask for her help. One more thing I got wrong. And Talia just laughed. I broke almost every rule I have to bring Jason back. And I have nothing to show for it. He's really gone."

Sixteen...

Batman failed-- I failed everyone.

I don't know how to make any of this right. But I'm going to find a way."

LOG ENTRY BT-70 - FATHER AND GRAYSON

"Log entry BT-70.

I don't often have dreams. But this morning, I woke up from one about Nightwing.

Dick came back to Gotham. We sat right here in this room. Together. He let me explain myself, apologize for pushing him away. I found all the words I should have said before he left. That's how I knew none of it was real. He asked me about something we used to talk about. Batman's legacy. You know, 'who wears the cowl when Bruce Wayne can't?'

For years, I thought I had the answer. Every time I looked at Dick Grayson, I saw the next Batman.

But Dick never wanted it.

I've been monitoring his activities in Bludhaven. It's amazing what he's accomplished on his own. His way. With courage and kindness. I see it clearly now. I don't want Nightwing to become Batman. I need Batman to be more like Nightwing.

Despite everything, I just wish he was home, so we could talk. REALLY talk. I'd tell him how proud I really am. That Nightwing is the better version of what Batman was meant to be. That because of Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne became a better man.

I'd tell my son that I miss him.

I'll tell him the next time he comes back. He doesn't need me bothering him.

He doesn't need me at all."

LOG ENTRY BT-57 - BACK FOR GOOD

"It's been two months since I confronted Red Hood.

Wanted Criminal. Confirmed Killer. Jason.

At first, I didn't want to believe it. But after that shock came hope. He's still driven by a sense of justice. There's still a part of him I can recognize as Robin.

He's talking to me, but... he's so angry. Not so much at his murderer, but at me.

I deserve his anger. He was just a child when I put him in harm's way. I pushed him too hard, too fast. He's made it clear that he'll never let go of his desire for vengeance. But he's come to understand that violence has its limits.

I can only be grateful Jason's meeting me halfway. He's accepted counseling. We're finding a way to move forward. He's even suggested we work on a new kind of pistol for him, together. Something that's more... Bat-friendly. I have some reservations about that, but he insists it's possible, and his prototypes are promising. He's making an incredible effort to come back from that cliff, to be a better man.

So far, I've been unable to find out what happened between Jason's murder and his appearance on Gotham's streets as the Red Hood. His amnesia seems total, but not necessarily irreversible. Maybe with time he'll remember...

Alfred and I ran every test we could think of. The last one confirmed my suspicions. We found evidence he'd been exposed to a Lazarus Pit. Was Jason revived by Ra's? Talia? Another faction or cult?

Ra's has healed his injuries, no matter how severe, in Lazarus Pits. Ongoing exposure has rendered him practically immortal, though at the cost of his humanity. Ra's original goal when he founded the League was to destroy a corrupted society to then rebuild it in a purer form. Now, he seems to have lost sight of any reconstruction. He views all human beings as irredeemably flawed, even Talia.

For all his anger, Jason is nothing like that. My working theory is that a single, short exposure to a Lazarus Pit won't cause a permanent shift in personality. But I need to learn more, for Jason's sake.

I won't lose him again."