#anyway sorry. off my soapbox now. i just loved this discussion

[sparring-spirals]

I was initially clipping this to capture the overwhelmingly accurate, absolutely devastating hilarity of "you went for realistic, and sadly, you nailed it". And then just kept recording because I really fucking love the discussion about how to balance the line between like:

You are trying to tell a story that feels good and gives you the kind of lift you might be looking for in an explicitly fantasy story,

vs

How to ensure it still feels grounded and rewarding in a way where you can "bring this good feeling back to earth" at the end.

Like they're talking about TTRPG's but they clearly make parallels to other forms of storytelling/worldbuilding mediums, like movies, and. like. Yeah. Yeah.

Like the framing of "you really recreated the feeling of powerlessness..." and wanting the fantasy element to manifest in there being the clearer, straightforward ways to solve complex issues, vs trying to ensure that you can have a victory and it feels feasible and substantial and applicable in some way, and has something you can take out of the fantasy world and hold with you back on "terra firma".

Its tricky! Its a tricky thing to balance, and I don't think there's a single "right" answer nor should there be because it depends. It depends on the story, and the intent, and the setting, and the medium, and etc. Big fan of this framework to explain it.

[astradyke]

Let's talk about how phil has more of the "he would never cheat so im not really jealous" vibes, while dan is literally the "you know other men?" meme. They're so funny. Obviously I know Dan is joking in some of the clips but you SEE his initial reaction before the joke even forms in his mind. Like that moment in the video yeet it or keep it when phil says his sweater smells like another man. You can hear the '"excuse me" dan is actually shocked and slightly annoyed, obviously not really threatened and he then continues the joke that he's jealous but you can tell his initial reaction was genuine. The EYEROLL on the coincidence with sam the surfer bffr

not sam the surfer 💀 Dan and Phil lore is so crazy all the time

no but i kind of have a take on this bear with me kindly, but like. i actually really do not think Dan is as jealous as people take him for a lot of the time, not because Dan isn't jealous at all but because i think Dan is only jealous about some things.

this kind of flows into a very different discussion which is my own ambivalent feelings as to whether i think Dan and Phil are monogamous or not, but i actually feel like in a lot of sexual situations where Dan makes a reaction about something, it gets misread as jealousy when it's usually just him being shocked or making fun of Phil or something et cetera. my favorite example is the arching back builder tiktok because i MAINTAIN with my WHOLE HEART that they were having a SOCRATIC DISCUSSION ABOUT IT!!! THEY WERE THE PHILOSOPHERS MEME!!! these were two tops seeing a man with a damn good arched back and going wow... so true. but also obviously Dan was making fun of Phil because crazy ass thing to come up on tiktok lmfao

but like, a lot of things in that vein don't read to me as jealous. what i do think maybe elicits some like, jealous responses out of Dan, are things that are more like... not romantic but leaning that way? like the Sam the surfer thing because come on man hasn't everyone heard that only Dan and Phil have divine connections? that ancient Adam clip also comes to mind lmfao, and the radio thing about the woman wanting to move in? and like you said even though i think the clothing bit was A Bit i can see it slotting into this category i'm loosely laying out. like these things i DO see Dan being a bit jealous about; obviously not excessively especially as time has passed, it was probably worse when he was younger and is far less existent now, but he has self admitted to being a jealous person and i definitely think you can see that with more like romantic things. y'know?

anyway i don't mean to like contend with jokes because one thing about me is i am no.1 jokester at heart but sometimes i personally see posts and i'm like... i really just do not think Dan was being jealous with this one to be honest. i fear we (royal we) might not know what jealousy looks like. so sometimes i'm a little thrown off by interpretations that he is Very Jealous when i'm like... i DO think they communicate though. and that Phil obviously has other friends and has been found to be attractive by other people, Dan maybe just historically really doesn't love the idea of anyone else being in love with Phil or vise-versa. and i mean, handshake on that i so get it.

ANYWAY sorry to soapbox i can probably better explain my thoughts later but i fear your ask just activated this tangent in me because i'd been cooking on how to talk about it for a while. Phil definitely seems to be better at handling jealousy while Dan has a long standing issue with it but i think it's a lot less about Phil being with other men or having sex with them maybe and is a lot more about Dan being cynical towards Phil having like Destined Meetings with someone, or Phil having a person who replaces Dan's role in his life. like twink with the ass on tiktok isn't going to be a Dan but maybe Sam the Surfer will if it's like a bad day you know

[inevitably-johnlocked]

People complaining about 'queer baiting' when they ought to be more concerned about the amount of fetishisation that occurs when people ship two men lol

Hey Nonny,

I’m gonna assume you’re not trying to be a dick, and are coming from a good place, though you taking the time out to put this ask in a weird serif font is leaving me wondering if you’re trying to stand on a soapbox, but I’m going to ignore that for now, and I ask anyone replying to this post to please also grant that same respect. I only wish to educate, learn, and interact, after all. 

I get what you’re trying to say re: queerbaiting, I really do. And fetishization is a problem, I agree. 

Let’s tackle the queerbaiting first.

Let it be known to you that a large majority of the people calling “queerbaiting” are queer people and academics. I know the false stigma that “fandom is full of stupid little girls” still exists and is something that, quite frankly, this ask is implying and therefore helping to perpetuate. It’s not. Honestly, with this take you have here, you’re disregarding and invalidating the feelings of millions of other queer people who genuinely feel when something is queerbaiting because it’s something they have experienced over and over and OVER again and media just “LOL OOPS SORRY WON’T DO IT AGAIN”. 

Disney is a perfect example of this. How many “first LGBT characters” has Disney had now? At least one a year for the past decade.

Listen, the people who initially called it out years ago for Sherlock were older folks who have lived decades of media constantly teasing gay relationships and then not following through with it at the end... literally “baiting” queer people to watch their shows because more people = more money.

Anyway, Gattiss confirmed he used homoerotic subtext to bait people, so I don’t know what else to say on this matter. That link also has some additional articles and sources that came out regarding the queerbaiting aspect of Sherlock, and they’re all good reads, so I do recommend checking them out.

Some other interesting reads, if only so you can gain some empathy for the others who DO see it as queerbaiting:

Gender and Queer Fan Labour on Tumblr: The Case of BBC’s Sherlock (Webarchive link, so give it a few to load)

The Elephant in the Room: Authorship, Queerbaiting and Sherlock

Queerbaiting in Sherlock 

PODCAST: Queerbaiting in Sherlock

From Queer Reading to Queerbaiting - DiVA Portal

And as I’ve mentioned in past posts, I personally believe Sherlock IS queerrbaiting WITHOUT a confirmation in S5. They had the chance to stop it in S3, and instead they ramped it up. And yes, if you only watch Sherlock and omit S3 and TAB completely, I can see the queerbaiting argument null and void. But instead they made the episode that John was supposed to be getting married the gayest episode in the whole series, next to TAB. So I dunno, my friend.

Now, I shall discuss the very thin line of fetishization vs shipping.

I am not a professional AND I am a fairly recently-realized member of the LGBT community, so I don’t feel it’s my place to tell you what’s what. 

There’s a really interesting Tumblr post by LGBT+ Weekly about this very thing that I think offers a “both sides” approach: Shipping and queer fetishization. And this interesting and on-point post here: About Fandom, Slash, and Fetishizing Gay Men.

From here, I can only offer my opinion, not fact, and I am open to being educated. 

Yes, absolutely some people fetishize LGBT relationships. I’m NOT going to say there aren’t. But a majority of people ship ANY ship because it helps them understand themselves. It’s just that simple, and to tell someone that them shipping characters is bad / no good / fetishization can be harmful to them and make them fear “being gay”. Shipping characters is a way of disconnecting themselves from, well, themselves, and it’s a “safe place” to “come out” or discover themselves.

To me, you’re breaking down fetishization as “I like reading about two people fucking” and nothing beyond that, and not taking into account that many people like a pairing because of chemistry, or because someone sees themselves in a character and are exploring their own sexuality through it. If that’s the case, then I guess all M/F ships are are fetishizations? Why is it only M/M that people decry “fetishization”, when F/F is apparently not (clarification: it totally can also be)? So, is me liking Johnlock any different than my Zutara ship? Why? 

Plus, the reason so many people ship M/M ships is because there’s just SO MANY MALE CHARACTERS ON ANY GIVEN SHOW. 

I get what you’re trying to say, Nonny, I really do. And I know the definition of fetish. But AGAIN, these are characters, not real people, and you’re disregarding other aspects of shipping. Not everyone reads smut to get off. And even if they did, why is that so bad for some people? Personally, I read it because I enjoy reading stories about my favourite characters enjoying being together. I enjoy the dynamic, the possibilities, the chemistry and the love. That it’s never too late to find your person. That two broken souls can help heal each other.

Anyway, TL;DR of all this is: 

YOUR experience is NOT someone else’s experience. 

You didn’t see Sherlock as queerbaiting? Fine, but please understand there’s a reason so many other people DO and it’s not just fandom saying it. The general audience also has said it’s queerbaiting.

You see shipping as fetishization? Okay, and that’s fine. Your definition of fetishization means fictional people having sex, I guess. Maybe I’m just genuinely naïve, but... isn’t that kind of... TERF-y or homophobic? I mean... many people use same-sex shipping and assorted headcanons to help them understand themselves and their sexuality. And why is M/F shipping NOT fetishization, given the broad definition you’re implying by your ask? And I don’t want to get too deep into asexuality, but read up on aegosexuality. Are you then saying aces are fetishists too? Seems like aces can’t enjoy anything, I guess.

They’re fictional characters. Not real people.

Look, I’m stupid and naïve, I get that. And if I have the wrong take here, I’m genuinely interested in hearing your respectful thoughts, along with other people’s. Just, please respect and understand that everyone is not YOU. It’s rather selfish to think that your experiences are everyone else’s, if I’m being honest.

I’m not asking for you to “see my side of things”, just to have a bit of empathy, is all. It can go a long way in a world where just being who you are can get you killed. Fandom and shipping is an escape for a lot of people, because reality is a cruel son of a bitch.

All this said, Nonny, I just want you to be safe and healthy. If discussions of shipping and queerbaiting bother you, please black list the tags, get out of fandom, and please take care of yourself.

[houndsocean-blog]

A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships ya dig

As you may have noticed, my last post was my first (hooray), and also I sat on it for a month. Not sure why, just hadn't gotten around to posting it until just a little while ago. Anyway, I’m here today, this evening, this year to discuss a KILLER album. As I scroll past my two, count em, two posts I am overwhelmed with the desire to dance, but at the same time I want to feel shit. Welcome to the world of The 1975.

Yes, the 1975 have a “following” of “teens” with their posters adorning the “minimalist bedroom” tours of plenty twinkly eyed youtubers, but these aren't real things. The 1975 have FANS. Since when did that become a bad thing? I’m off my soapbox, the soapbox I’m going to aptly name in the spirit of The 1975, “The Step Onto Which Our Feet are Cleaned and Our Rhetoric Dirtied.” How was that? Terrible? I know.

Okay. So this album comes with some hot ass anticipation. I was a late comer to this band but once I head the looping guitar of “Chocolate” from their first album The 1975  I was taken by how good the chorus was. Fast forward a few years and their next one comes out. It’s called I Like it When You Sleep For You are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware of It.  Does my soapbox joke translate better now? So I’m watching them perform songs from it on SNL and damn it I liked the song but I was annoyed by Matt Healy the lead singer. He has a very meandering and “rockstar” stage presence. I later realized I was annoyed only because I secretly wanted to be him.

I tell this to say that I wrote them off as something “not for me.” Side note: I get there are a lot of quotation marks and I’m sorry but also i’m just illustrating a “point.”

Fast even more forward and i’m riding in the car listening to the Sound Opinions podcast and a song plays. This song is fucking ear candy. A lite-house-ambient mix with just the most beautiful plinking sounds you ever did here. I wait for the host to tell me the answer to who this band is, and lo and behold it is none other than The 1975. What I was listening to was the title track to  I Like it When You Sleep. I was shamed. Here I was blowing off this band for absolutely superficial reasons. Needless to say I learned my lesson and dove into that album and discover the magic that was the tracks “The Sound” and “This Must be My Dream” among other greats. So with this secret discovery I began singing the praises of the band to anyone who would listen. I began putting it on when I had too much to drink. I used it to keep me awake on long car rides. It was a jam.

So, I became a bit excited when I heard about their new album A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships. And the singles released leading up to it were fucking killer. One of the first I heard was Give Yourself a Try, an angular guitar driven ode to self love. I was immediately struck by the lyrics and the desire of Healy to ENCOURAGE. Damn does it feel good to be encouraged. That single was followed up later by Love it If We Made It. The power anthem of just everything. This song takes to task the headlines that have confronted us with little regard for our collective emotional health. “Thank you Kanye Very Cool,” “Rest in Peace Lil Peep” these are JABS. They fucking sting. Each phrase bringing back memories of adverse reactions, sadness and a general wtf. But, like the well-known Jesus Christ, there was more to come. The ticks of the synth fall away, a guitar builds and we are tumbled into a complete BOP. “I’d love it if we….. MADE IT” Healy yells over the forceful bump of the best use of a steel-drum synth mine ears have been blessed with. The ever-present 1975 choir brings an angelic feel, the guitar juts, Healy’s voice echoes just enough, and for a moment we are just fuckin dancing. I was so thankful for this, especially this year. This song exemplifies so much anxiety that many of us feel but also gives us a nice dose of joy.

I’m going to pause for a sec to explain a theory i’ve been thinking up of songs. Good songs are song that the artist MEANS. And when I say mean, I mean that even if it’s about the paint on a Lomborghini they fucking mean that shit. Great songs are ones where the artist means, and proposes a problem for us to join them in. They create a moment in time for us to understand. A room where we sit opposite them and see what they were dealing with when they wrote it. Truly Great songs: the artist means it, they’ve brought is into their problem and also GIVEN US A SOLUTION. “Love It If We Made It” Does these things. I know they mean it, I know exactly where they were mentally when they wrote it, and fuck it if we’re not gonna dance it off. Now, if that doesnt make a truly great song I have no idea what will.

Alright, pause over. I next heard the single TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME. It’s a super comfortable bop with the cutest darn music video you ever did see. Bless yourself and give it a gander.

Alright. Then something happened. I heard the tune ”It's Not Living (If It's Not With You).” Y’all to say this song enraptured me was an understatement. I spent much of that night starting it over and over. Dancing my heart out. I danced from the imagined perspective of the lead singer, the guitarist and most importantly the backing choir. Fuck. That is what got me. The choir behind Healy gently glides a few octaves over him, and for the words “All, I do” Healy pulls back letting them shine. Oh to be a member of that choir for a day, a month, a life. To get to sing with them is my new dream. Anyway, besides providing a moment of escape this song just FEELS good. I heard in an interview Healy describing it as the most 1975 song the 1975 has ever put out. A scrap of hearsay I daresay I believe. Thank god(ess) for this song.  

Also the other single Sincerity is Scary was great but i’m ready to move on.

So, the day comes, the album is out. I hold off listening because I’m taking my hard earned money and going to the record store and getting it on vinyl.

So, I grab it and when I get home the time has come. I play this thing. It opens strong, a nice twisted and screwed version of their opening track that they’ve repeated a few times on other albums. The first few tracks are the singles i’ve heard plus a great track called “How To Draw / Petrichor,” I guess you could call it the mid-beginning suite of the album. It kind of sets up a sonic palette that previews what is to come. And it is beautiful.

Flip over to side two and “Love It If We Made It” begins. I think you know how I feel about that one.

At the end of this side is a banger. “I Like America and America Likes Me” is what it’s called. It is a perfect synthesis of trap high-hats and a pitched Healy voice that just is really something. Solid Gold. It’s like bubbling up from foamy water. Imagine if that Rosalía album cover was a song by Lorde. Imagine if Lorde had discovered Rae Sremmurd in 2009 and Pure Heroin was white with black letters instead of black with white letters. Imagine Bjork’s Unison but produced by Mike WiLL Made-it in 2017. It’s good shit. Period.

This is followed by “The Man Who Married a Robot / Love Theme,” a British Siri narration of a guy falling in love with the internet. It’s wild.

“Inside your Mind” opens with all the promise of a Beach House wave and ends with a repeated guitar lick that feels stadium sized; a clash of two things that I really like and are rad.

After that we pass “It's Not Living (If It's Not With You).” Yup, talked about that one. A fuckin jam.

“Surrounded by Heads and Bodies” is really good as well. Healy does harmonies in a wonderfully pleasing way and I enjoy it, but I did get a little tired at this point. Not gonna lie. “Mine”  is like a jazz standard and I really like it.

Finally the album ends with “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes).” This is a stadium song. A concert closer if I ever did hear one. Damn it’s good. Healy shows just the perfect amount of restraint in the chorus that soars man. The opening chords sound like a Dixie Chicks song and quickly becomes so fucking British it’s amazing. This is something that 8th grade me would have EATEN up in long car rides. When the guitar drops at the pre chorus……. just enjoy folks. You’ve made it to the end of an incredible journey with this band. You’re bruised but it’s mainly from dancing. You’ve got a bit of a headache but if you sing hard enough it goes away and you just wanna hear him sing “I just aaalwaaays waaaaanna dieeeee” one more time! Dissolve into the strings, close your eyes. You made it through this damn year.

In some ways i’m mad at The 1975. They’ve captured something in their art that I want to express with mine one day. A melancholy that’s so heavy, yet joy that bursts through like it’s been smiling under the sad for a long, long time. I appreciate this album and will be bumping it for years to come.

If you’ve stuck around for this long through my thoughts on this album thanks for reading. I just love music and couldn't contain these feelings. Have a good one.