#sometimes ideas are just really really interesting and you want more of it or want to explore it in different ways
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themaveriqueagenda · 1 day ago
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this is really interesting! though parts of it seem slightly contradictory, because there's this
please apply them at will to yourself based on your own ideas about what it means to dress femininely or dramatically or androgynously etc.
but also this:
describing [...] a presentation others might consider masculine/feminine
is it up to one's own interpretation or about how others see you? particularly as an apothibinary person i have a lot of trouble taking on other people's perceptions of me as a self-descriptor, because they're usually binary(-adjacent). i'm also flat out just not going to give people power over my words like that. (i'm not saying that anyone who identifies as masc/fem because that's how others perceive them is wrong btw. i know many do it for simplicity as well as for self-empowerment. i just personally cannot.)
i also take issue with the
masc---fem scale
because if we can acknowledge that the gender spectrum itself isn't linear like that, we must acknowledge this about the spectrum of gender presentation too. you can be outside of the masc---fem scale or you can just simply not label your gender presentation at all.
another thing that feels a little off to me is that fox is described as an
androgynous, fluid, or combined presentation
while also being described as
[not resembling] the other sides of the spectrum
that latter definition is actually broader than androgynous, fluid or combined, as it does technically also include anything outside of that scale or nothing at all, but it's not truly accounting for that.
i'm aware the chart exists mainly for lighthearted silliness, but also you can say that masculinity and femininity are up to interpretation all you want, the chart is once again very stereotypical and doesn't really leave wiggle room for people with broader definitions of masculinity, femininity or androgyny. for example, i sometimes like wearing dresses which most would consider swan/feminine, but i feel deeply uncomfortable calling myself or my dresses feminine or swan (because let's be real, swan here is just another word for feminine).
i know this post is over 7 years old so how we talk about nonbinary presentation has evolved a bit. i'd be curious if anyone ever expanded on these terms to account for other gender presentations.
nonetheless, if i had to put myself on that scale, i'd probably be a crow-fox, because not resembling the other sides is the most how i conceptualise my gender presentation.
however, at this point, i don't really use any gender presentation terms, not even maverine or other outherine terms, because i no longer find them personally helpful to me. i could dress in exclusively skirts and dresses and i would still not consider my gender presentation feminine because i consider that to be misgendering. most people would perceive me as feminine though if i did that, so at that point, i wouldn't really be communicating anything if i called my presentation maverine when everyone else sees someone feminine. at this point, my gender presentation is synonymous with my gender. i'm maverique, so everything i wear is also maverique.
hopefully other people can get more use of this spectrum though and i'd be curious where all the maveriques & friends fall on this.
Non-binary Presentation Terms
Although words like butch, femme, masc, and fem have been applied to nonbinary folk since their inception, they don’t always meet the needs of non-binary people in comfortably describing the way we look. 
So here are a new additional set of options! We’ve considered two different “axes” here – one that relates most closely to the masc—fem scale, and one that considers “effort”, or a level of
 drama or ostentation in a look. They can be combined as one pleases or used individually! 
Additionally, please apply them at will to yourself based on your own ideas about what it means to dress femininely or dramatically or androgynously etc. These words are not to be held hostage to cissexism or gender roles. These words also describe presentations that are inherently not binary – the only reason we’re using words like “masculine” and “feminineïżœïżœ to describe them at all is for ease of communication. They can and should describe particular looks, including those that people are inclined to gender, without actually gendering them. 
Note: These are not coined with the intention of being gender identities. They have nothing inherently to do with gender identity. You can be a demigirl stag, etc. (That said, if someone wants to use them as a gender because you feel it’s tied closely to your presentation, we’re certainly not stopping you.) 
Here they are!
Stag: A “masc”, “butch” or “tomcat” equivalent, describing a presentation one considers to be associated with ideas about masculinity, or a presentation others might consider masculine. 
Fox: Describing an androgynous, fluid, or combined presentation; can be applied to any presentation a person feels doesn’t resemble the other sides of the spectrum.  
Swan: A “femme/fem” or “doe” equivalent, describing a presentation one considers to be associated with ideas about femininity, or a presentation others might consider feminine. 
Sparrow: A casual, minimalist, muted or low-effort presentation. For example, for those folks who just roll through their closet and go. 
Crow: For presentations that are in-between, combined, or fluid along a scale of effort/ostentation. 
Peacock: For presentations that are high effort. Glam, dramatic, flashy, flamboyant, attention-drawing, etc. Dressed to the nines, so to speak! 
so anyway tag urself
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(chart meant purely to be silly and fun, not to suggest actual criteria or associations. Disregard entirely if you resonate with the terms but not these goofy tidbits.)
Keep reading
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mmkclarkey · 2 days ago
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We have a spare room- Part 3
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When all goes wrong, moving in with three guys will solve it?
It had been three months since you moved in with three random men, all of which having their own weird affect on you. Chris had quickly become the person you went to when you wanted to talk about Taylor swift or Chappell Roan or anything of the sort, he loved the fact that you didn’t judge him for his feminine side. And you loved the fact that he allowed you to rant about anything to him, always giving the best rants back.
This however meant that you had to judge him for something else, now if there’s one thing you learnt about Chris, it’s that he’ll test his luck, he had the tendency to be a dick to his friends. Arthurtv told you about that one time in school when Chris told the girl Arthur liked that they were in a gay relationship, much to the girl’s dismay.
The way to combat this you may ask? Chris does something wrong, he has to put ÂŁ1 in the jar, they stole the idea, some show called new girl apparently?
Besides Chris, Arthur was the best person to go to if you wanted something interesting, he had this amazing ability to be able to make you laugh at the most random times. Like the time last week where you were all arguing over the shared bathroom, having the biggest shower you tended to argue over who was going to use it when you go out. Arthur fully started to strip off naked, making you all leave as he shouted that he’d flash you all if you didn’t let him use the shower. In the end, you George and Chris sat on the floor outside the bathroom laughing for nearly an hour.
And then there’s George. George was the classic, blast music and go to parties and drink kind of guy. Somehow you found yourself roped into going to yet another influencer party at least once a week, however, you can’t exactly say that you didn’t like it. Aswell as this, he was absolutely amazing at giving advice, about anything, you had problems with filming? George knew what to do. you had no idea what to wear? he did. It was shocking how good the man was at just daily advice, it made you really appreciate the fact that you have him as a friend now.
~
You had uploaded a video three days ago where you were playing a horror game on Roblox, which you didn’t see an issue with and as usual got the views you were used to. But today? Today it peaked, around 9000 more people liked it in just the one day.
Then came the comments. and that’s where you realised your mistake. At one point you scream particularly loud and George (being the only other person in the flat at the time) shouts in from his room asking if everything was okay, to which you laugh and shout through that you are making a video and you’re okay. And this would be absolutely no issue if it wasn’t for the fact that your editor left it in, and your viewers, and just people people in general, did not know that you had moved out of your old flat let alone moved in with another man.
This caused a shocking amount of people to guess that you must have broken up with your boyfriend, and got with George almost straight away, and that’s why he’s in your house, concerned whether you’re okay. It didn’t take long for George to be knocking at your door, asking if you were decent so he could come in.
“I’m decent George, come in”
“So
 I saw your comments” he says while sitting down on the bed, a bit of a red look on his face, clearly just back from being outside.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise my editor left it in, i’m making a tiktok literally in a minute to tell people that we aren’t together, it just means explaining why I’m here” you say back in an apologetic tone, aware of how overwhelming the fans can be sometimes.
“It’s fine, I promise, do you think we should get us all in the vid just to prove it a bit?” he asks with a curious tone.
You make the decision to do so, making everyone group together on the sofa as you set up your phone, pressing record.
“So
 hey guys, i’m making a quick short video to address some things i guess? for reference, I made a video last week that was released three days ago, and in it, George here asked me if i was okay, which is lovely, but we aren’t just friends.”
Arthur giggles and says “We’re all just friends, she just wanted to hide from you guys that she moved out of her old place”
Chris chimes in “Yeah, so if anyone, preferably three girls and a guy want to come wife up this flat feel free”
“Chris shut the fuck up” All three of you say in response, yet all laughing too.
“So yeah, I moved in with Chris, George and Arthur and I guess that’s where I am now, hope this clears things up and I love you all”
I post the video and the comments come in immediately:
this quad is literally iconic
we all know why she moved in with three guys
chris is so Schmidt coded argue with the wall
i’m so glad to see you living your best life baby omg!!
they are such iconic friends we need more videos together
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N i am so incredibly sorry, i’ve been completely procrastinating this, i hope we like it!! also can we notice the fourth wall break xx
taglist: @loveheart-123 @ooostarwarsfandom501st @rougetv @le-le-lea @onlinesuzie @44-ilton @chilwellsancho @pretendyoucantseeme @theresglittleronthefloor @raekensluver @viagracex @neivivenaj @authortelevision
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eurydicees · 3 days ago
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re what they are saying about fiyero on twitter - gosh there is too much stuff. they talk about how uninteresting he is, how his presence has no effect on the leads, how he shouldn’t be elphaba’s endgame and doesnt deserve to be, how they want to delete him from the plot (somewhere along those line), how they want to block anyone making any fiyeraba or fiyero tweets or content and much, much, MUCH more like i genuinely do not understand the obsession?
i of course get not liking him, thats normal about any character lol but the way they just cannot shut up about how they dislike him is so
.. like really no one is challenging your gelphie content 😭 we really are not interested to challenge your ship. you really dont need to focus on this guy 24/7 but ig you do you i hope they remain sane amidst all the apparent misery lol
well. you know. disappointed by not surprised. a partial fiyero ted talk under the cut. sorry.
it's like. it's just so frustrating to write him off as uninteresting and as having no effect on either elphaba (or glinda). like guys why is the media literacy not happening right now. also how the fuck would you delete him from the plot???? guys his plan is literally how elphaba escapes dorothy. he's the one who saves her from the gale force, TWICE. he literally sacrifices himself for her escape and its his sacrifice that makes her spiral into "wickedness" during no good deed.
also, fiyero is elphaba's endgame in part because he does what glinda cannot bring herself to do. WHICH IS SO VITAL TO THE ENDING. fiyero is the one who makes all of the sacrifices for elphaba that glinda refused, and he both pays the price for it and reaps the reward of it.
glinda and elphaba have a profound effect on each other, obviously, but it's not like fiyero is left unchanged by elphaba. i dont get where this idea that fiyero and elphaba have no dynamic because like??? that's just not true?????
fiyero goes from refusing to confront the difficulties of life to choosing the more difficult path for the sake of morality and loyalty and love because of elphaba (which is also really interesting given how he's, like, kind of a casualty of war in the book more than he is an actual rebel....mostly fiyero's book to musical adapation is #Rough but that's a cool parallel i hadn't noticed before).
glinda begins to see the flaws in the wizard's society, but she actively chooses to be a part of the system anyway. and she regrets it. that's the whole thing abt thank goodness!!!
fiyero, on the other hand, begins to see the flaws in this society and he chooses elphaba--and the life of rebellion that she's chosen--over everything that glinda admits to being unable to resist.
and GOD. guys that's so interesting. HES SO INTERESTING!!! how are you not interested by all of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wicked is such a cool study on morality and what the "right" thing to do in such a world is, and what it means to make the decision to do the right thing vs the comfortable thing. fiyero chooses to follow elphaba and he pays the price, but he also doesn't regret it. glinda chooses the "safe" option--but in the end, even if she chooses good then, she's entirely alone in it all.
and that's SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!! god. whatever. twitter just doesn't get him like you and me get him, anon.
just. it's totally fine to dislike him! i'm not refuting people's right to dislike him. the nature of fictional characters is that sometimes people will dislike them. like that's fine.
but being incapable of shutting up about how much you hate a character just...it stops being "harmlessly disliking a fictional character" and starts being "you are insufferable to talk to." like sorry you're so miserable about fiyeraba but i'm gonna be over here just having fun because that's what fandom is supposed to be about :)
(also, just a major issue with breaking this movie up into two films released a year apart is that any movie-only fans just don't get the point of fiyero's character. it's kind of devastating. ik not all of the people saying that stuff are movie-only but man. the people who are...im BEGGING you to give him a chance in part 2. literally BEGGING you. fiyero is such a good character. he has so many good moments. let the green girl go lives in my head rent free and if they cut that i'll riot.)
tldr; fiyero is SO neat and twitter is just full of cowards.
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nerdlvr · 2 days ago
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nct dream's masterlist
just a lot of chaos and a lot of dicks , sometimes the guys are gay here mb....
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ᰔ : fluff , ✩ : smut , đ–Šč : angst , ⟡ : suggestive ,
*(this masterlist contains mature content)*
.
ᰔ each of their love languages
words of affirmation , quality time , physical touch , gift giving , and acts of service.
ᰔ mustache loving
little blurbs on you loving the dreamies with facial hair. *request
ᰔ boyfriend texts
random texts you'd get if you were dating the dreamies.
ᰔ things that remind you they're men
just... guy stuff... they do... kinda like icks.
ᰔđ–Šč when they say something that hurts you
how they react after saying something hurtful. *request
ᰔ⟡ bridgerton au
being swooned all night by the 7 most eligible bachelors of the season isn't such a bad idea. *request
ᰔ sickness
taking care of the dreamies when they're sick. *request
✩ nipple piercings
you get nipple piercings and your 7 guys friends are veryy curious. *request
✩ kinks
the dreamies and their kinks. *request
✩ nipple piercings pt.2
continuation of nipple piercings... *request
⟡ both of em'
what do you do when you're drunk and see two hot strangers ft. jisung and haechan *request
✩ tits vs. ass
which would each dreamies prefer. *request
✩ kiss.
if they really want it, then they just need to kiss. ft. mark and haechan *request
ᰔ not idols
what the dreamies would be doing if they weren't idols. *request
✩ both of em' pt.2
you didn't really think they'd both call you to meet up, well actually, to fuck. *request
.
~~~~~~~
for more individual dreamies content that he's featured in check out :
nerdlvr's world tour or into nerdlvr's brain
don't see anything that interests you? try requesting !
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distractedvoid · 2 days ago
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remember those sonamy for sonic 4 ideas? here they are i couldnt wait
So, now that Amy is definitely confirmed, based on the after credits scene in Sonic 3, I have some silly thoughts about how Sonic and Amy's relationship could unfold in Sonic 4.
So, first, I think their general dynamic would definitely change. In pretty much every other form of Sonic media, while it has changed a bit recently, Amy is shown as constantly chasing after Sonic despite him avoiding most of her advances anyway.
Now, movie Sonic is definitely not as mature as the Sonics in other medias. A huge part of his continuous character arc is that he's still a kid, a kid that doesn't really know what he's doing.
And here, we have Amy, which, from the very small amount of her character that we've seen, at least seems like less of a damsel in distress. (It reminds me of how they changed Princess Peach's character in the Mario Movie.) In contrast to the story of Sonic CD, we see Amy saving Sonic from the many copies of Metal Sonic.
Now how exactly does this make their dynamic different? Well, if you take an immature Sonic, and put him in the same room as an Amy that needs less saving than the usual, the firsthand difference is undeniable. Thus why I think their dynamic would be reversed in a way, at least, that's what I want to happen.
I have a feeling Sonic would be "chasing" after Amy, but more so in the way that he's constantly trying to impress her. He'd probably get into some unsavory situations due to his most likely failed attempts at this, prompting Amy to have to make sure he doesn't keep doing stupid things.
Amy herself wouldn't understand why Sonic kept getting himself into trouble like that, much less that he did it for her, until she sought out some third-party information.
Speaking of (I never really mentioned anything related but just go with it), I haven't talked much about Amy's own feelings yet.
So we know about a possible tiny fraction of her character, and while that's not a lot to go off of, I don't see any harm in forming early ideas based off it.
When Amy, presumably, met Sonic by saving him from the Metal Sonic copies, I don't think she would really think too much of him at first. As soon as he actually started talking, though, she'd find interest- I wouldn't wanna take away the part of her that probably falls in love way too easily.
Unlike the usual Amy we're probably all used to, she wouldn't show her feelings that much. She'd have the occasional giggle at Sonic's attempts at impressing her, even if she didn't know that was why he did it. For all she knows, that's just what he's usually like! Until she inquires with Tails- she learns that she's somewhat special to the blue blur.
I might just be projecting, with the weird way my own feelings work, but I think Amy's little crush on Sonic would skyrocket at that information. Sonic, the guy she only really had a small crush on, was trying that hard to win her over? Admittedly, that was pretty cute in her eyes.
After that Amy would definitely be more forward with Sonic, causing the latter to be a little confused and wonder if a certain two-tailed fox said anything...Guess you can't even trust your best friend with secret crushes anymore, sigh.
If they ended up together, if we were to ever get so lucky, I don't think either would really change how they act around each other, other than holding hands occasionally and maybe a few kisses here and there. Sonic is still adventure focused, though how much he likes Amy is sometimes painfully obvious. He'd gain a little confidence boost if they became official, but overall, if they went on any dates, they'd be dates to kick Eggman's ass for the thousandth time.
That's all I have for now, I'm gonna let the brain worms rest LOL. Thanks to anyone who actually went and read my yapping session
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tubattutu · 1 day ago
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Held and Handled
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summary: pegging your sweet boyfriend for the first time.
pairing: idol!huening kai x fem!reader
warnings: pegging, reader uses a strap on, sub!kai, dom!reader, soobin has a gf, petnames (babe, baby, hun), kai is sensitive and loud asf, as always lmk if i missed some !
a/n: merry christmas eve and happy holidays !!!!! been wanting to write something like this for a whileeeee so enjoy <3
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"i swear man, that food was so good." soobin commented, taking a sip of his drink he had left over from the restaurant him and kai had just went to.
kai just chuckled, walking back to the dorm with his best friend. he kinda just zoned out as soobin talked about something he couldn’t recall, until a question caught him from his zoned out state.
“so how’s it going with y/n?” he asked curiously, sipping on his drink once more as he glanced over at kai, both of them still walking towards their dorm building. “mmh.. pretty good, actually.” kai replied, glancing down at the ground to his shoes, his hands in his pant pockets.
“really? nothing interesting?” soobin frowned, chuckling, still looking over at kai.
kais mind was all over the place, thinking and deciding whether or not he should mention what he was thinking
 maybe soobin could help, maybe suggest something.
“uhh
 well
 i just.. i have a problem..” kai sighed, watching his feet move in rhythm with soobins. “problem? what’s up?” soobin asked, sounding a bit concerned.
“well
 i guess lately whenever me and y/n do stuff it’s like.. kinda boring..” kai expressed and glanced over at soobin, the wind slightly blowing his hair. “oh? really?” soobin grinned, suddenly getting an idea in his head at the mention.
“you should try pegging.”
“pegging? are you serious?” kais eyebrows raised, surprised at the suggestion. “yeah, pegging. me and my girlfriend tried it a couple times and the first time we did it, it was probably the fastest i ever came.” soobin explained a bit too confidently. kai just made a face at that, but then started to think about it.
“well- what if y/n’s not comfortable with that? and won’t that like.. hurt?” kai questioned, frowning in confusion. “i mean, of course it’ll hurt at first but you’ll probably adjust to it. when you go visit her tonight you should talk to her about it. maybe she’ll be fine with the idea.” soobin nodded towards kai, taking a sip of his drink.
kai hummed in response, thinking about the suggestion.
— ♡
by the time he’d got to your apartment, you were already back from work. you both lied in eachothers arms on the couch, watching tv, when he suddenly remembered what soobin had suggested to him earlier that day. he sighed, unsure if he should even bring the idea up.
“uh- babe? can i talk to you about something?” he asked, stroking your hair back gently and softly, feeling the smooth strands between his fingers. “yeah, of course baby. whats wrong?” your head shifts up to look up at him from his chest, his warm body engulfing yours.
“well.. i was talking to soobin earlier today about how.. i just think lately when we.. y’know, do stuff, it just feels kinda boring and repetitive.. and he suggested something new for me to try,” he explained, a soft blush growing on his now pink cheeks. “
 what did he say?” you ask, eyebrows furrowing in confusion and curiosity.
“he uhh
 he suggested.. like.. pegging-?” he said embarrassedly. he swore he felt like his face had became a tomato. he was so incredibly embarrassed.
it was quiet for a moment, none of you speaking for what it felt like minutes but was only seconds, before you spoke up. “pegging?” it was quiet again, only for just a second again. “yeah- pegging
 we don’t have to, i was just wondering if you’d like to try it sometime or..”
“yeah, i’m down..” you agreed, nodding subtly as well. you were a bit surprised at the idea though. you didn’t really expect your sweet boyfriend to be into pegging..
“really? when should we do it though?” he asks, shifting just a bit underneath you to get comfy, his fingers running through your hair once more. “whenever you can, i guess..” you suggest, lying your head back on his chest.
“this weekend? after work?” he rubs your back softly, staring down at your pretty face.
“mhm..”
— ♡
it was finally friday. for the rest of the week kai had been thinking about tonight. he was just so excited, but also nervous. how would it feel? would it feel as good as soobin described? he hoped it wouldn’t hurt too bad at first

he was actually pretty dedicated to it though. he even went out of his way to go to the adult store and buy a strap on so the two of you could just go straight to it.
“babe, i’m home!” you call out, placing your purse onto the island of your kitchen and slipping off your shoes. you’d knew he’d be here by the time you got home. he waited for you in your bedroom, and when you opened the door and looked over at him, he looked up from his phone and smiled at the sight of his pretty girlfriend.
“hey baby..” you smile, climbing into bed next to him and kissing his lips. it seemed like you completely forgot about what you two were gonna do tonight. he hums and kisses you back, rubbing your side before pulling away to speak. “do you still wanna try.. that thing i mentioned a couple days ago?”
his question brought the memory back up into your head. you smile and nod after a moment, kissing his cheek. “are you sure you wanna do this? aren’t you scared i’m gonna like.. accidentally hurt you or something?” you ask worriedly, rubbing his cheek with your thumb softly.
“well, i mean.. yeah, but we can just go slow at first
” kai reassured you, smiling and stroking your pretty hair. “and.. are we even ready? like do you already have the..” you hint, and he already knew what you were talking about. he nodded, reaching down underneath the bed and pulling out the strap on. your cheeks flush, flustered at the sex toy.
“oh.. are- are you sure i’m not like
 gonna hurt you with that?” you question, your eyes analyzing it worriedly. he chuckled, handing it to you. “i’ll be fine hun..”
you nod, sighing and taking the strap on, your fingers grazing the fake cock for a moment to feel the material.
and soon you both were already in position. the strap on was already around your hips, meanwhile kai was already prepared underneath you with his cock leaking precum, his legs spread for you. you reached out to rub his thighs, your eyebrows furrowing in concern.
“i don’t wanna hurt you
” you spoke, still worried as hell. “babe, i’ll be fine, i promise
 if you hurt me i’ll tell you..” he reassured you once more, softly rubbing your hand that was on his thigh.
his constant reassurance made you feel a bit better. you swallow nervously and adjust the length that was lathered with lube, rubbing a bit of lube on his entrance before finally sliding the fake cock into his hole. his breath hitches, whimpering, his walls clenching and unclenching around the length.
you glance up, seeing the look of slight discomfort on his face and you immediately felt worried again. you stopped moving, “are you okay baby? did i hurt you?”
“m’ fine.. jus’ burns a little
 keep going slow..” he softly spoke, reaching out to hold your hand. you hold his back, squeezing it soothingly and slowly sliding in further until you eventually bottomed out. he lets out a whiny moan, squeezing your hand tightly..
once the burning sensations faltered, he untensed and swallowed thickly. “you can move now..” he confirmed. at that, you gently held his hips, slowly and softly thrusting in and out of his tight hole. he cried out from the feeling, the fake cock brushing against all the right spots.
you glance up at his face once more just to check up on him, the worry you felt faltering a bit. you decide to test the waters, moving a little quicker into him, making sure to be gentle and careful just in case you accidentally hurt him.
“y/n-“ he moaned, his breath heavy as he desperately reached down to grip onto the sheets. “faster..” he whined.
gladly, you start to move even faster, his jaw dropping open while loud moans and cries spilled from his mouth uncontrollably. “y/n-! s-so good!” his breath came out in short, soft gasps, his cock bouncing against his stomach with each quick thrust.
his moans sounded so adorable to you, so sensitive and cute. you start to slow down, letting him catch his breath just for a moment. he pants, a little disappointed you slowed down, but was thankful.
“fuck
 y/n that—“ he couldn’t even finish his sentence before you suddenly started your thrusts again, this time a little too fast. he almost screamed, his thighs trembling as his prostate was pounded into over and over again. he cried out your name over and over again, his eyes tearing up and his desperate moans getting louder as you reached down to stroke his hard cock. he swore he felt like his legs were going to give out right then and there. his cock finally bursted with so much spurts of cum, covering his tummy and some of his chest with his own seed.
he pants as you slowed down, your thrusts now gentle and slow to help him ride out his powerful orgasm.
“are you okay..? i didn’t hurt you right?” you ask, rubbing his thighs softly and soothingly.
“i-i’m okay.. felt so good..” he spoke almost quietly, his breath still heavy. you hum at that, gently pulling out and cleaning him up, before the two of you finally head to bed, snuggling up in each others arms.
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petalsonmoon · 2 days ago
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if your cascade, ocean wave blues come
the three times you give each other peace.
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part 2 of 3.
part 1 here.
wc: 2.1k
notes: thank you for the patience and for reading <3
and for the next 3 months, everything moved regularly slow.
you did your best in everything you put your strength in. you didn’t let the uncomfortable situation hold you back in getting better with mic and, granted, the results were appearing in your other life subjects.
you always did great in the theoretical part of school, always willing to learn new things and you had a saying you created yourself that was: all books eventually catch one’s attention. sometimes you gotta go through hell before everything gets interesting.
and accordingly, you put your name on the 3rd spot in your class raking.
you were proud of that.
In the span of those next months you trained with new faces. you made a good friendship with honenuki, growing to meeting each other after hours to not hold back in the sparing.
mic said that was a good idea. train with someone you didn’t know well to get habituated with the loud noises.
now, when it came to the exercises with class A there were interesting surprises.
the first one, happened 3 weeks after your encounter with bakugo, and unfortunately your group didn’t include him. and it’s not like you were looking for something here but that situtation you both had left you curious about the boy. for the particular reason that when you were feeling frustated and sad about yourself, his presence was a calming thought in that storm.
like. that was perfectly normal, right?
he didn’t ask why you weren’t at the presentation and he didn’t underestimated you for that either. and that’s all you wanted. to breathe peacefully and not being judged.
the second one, it happened 4 weeks after that. in spite of aizawa’s enormous lack of effort and energy to deal with professor sekijiro, they decided to unify the classes for the day and let the students review and establish in pairs how to manage their quirks whilst working with an unfamiliar sidekick.
you were incapable to control your wide eyes the second bakugo walked to you with heavy steps and serious eyes. some colleagues also noticed the strange occurrence and that made you a little unease. but you handled like the mysterious and confident person you pretended to be with him that day.
you held his gaze but you couldn’t fucking stop the sweat it was forming in the back of your neck.
because being honest, nothing really changed between you two, only a few exchanged glaces in the caferia but that was it. and being even more honest, class A was annoyingly famous around the school so you couldn’t (and didn’t have the balls) to approach the angrist boy in the faculty out of nowhere.
since the task was to be a sidekick you didn’t have to fight against him or anything, so you just took a sip of water and went on with it with your head held high.
bakugo was a handful with capital H but a brilliant leader, so it was a nice activity.
and you could really sense that each time it was an activity outside of your comfort zone, you were feeling less and less overwelmed with the noises. you were proud of that.
the training took practically the whole day and when everyone was tiredly getting back to the dorms, he passed by you. the bastard didn’t even look at you.
“meet me in the gymnasium in two hours.”
by the time the phrase is undestood by your brain, he’s already out of your sight.
but you already knew what it was going to happen. so, you went quickly eat some dinner, take a slow shower and mentally prepare yourself.
what is this feeling? excitement? nervouness? you tried not to look to closely at the tiny bit of giddiness also there.
when the time came you made your way to the gymnasium, trying to make your heart and brain settle down and as you entered the place you saw bakugo himself with his back to you getting ready.
you’ve seen him with those black tanks out and about from afar in numerous times.
getting a closer look of his perfectly broad back and designed bĂ­ceps made your brain and heart finally agree in one certain feeling.
that’s enough. he’s here to purely beat your ass.
you walk towards him and put your bag on the bench.
“took it to heart, i see.”
“no” he didn’t even look you.
“you’re kinda easy to work with” you admit swiftly as you start to get ready, taking your eyes off of him. “should make a great opponent as well.”
he grumbles in response.
“if you go easy on me i’ll walk.” you say.
and then you finally feel his eyes on you. “then don’t waste my time.”
and that’s how you had the most difficult practice of your life.
bakugo did not held back and you had to think ridiculously fast to survive every single insanely fast strategies he came up with. but you did not held back either and you’re very proud to say you put up with him for some good minutes before he won the match. the boy was almost number 1 of the entire school, you won’t minimize your efforts.
when it ended and you were on the ground he walked to you and offered his hand. and without saying another word you two spared again. and again. and again.
and it took you some time to get used to his explosions so near you but you think you could maneuver your reactions when you actually focused on learning his movements. you're not sure how he handles this loudness.
and he won every single time. but during fights you both were adjusting to how the other thought and moved. it was such an intense but pleasant experiment that you allowed yourself to comment to him your thoughts about his fighting, not judging nor imposing but simply a different point of view.
and you think you worded everything greatly because his eyes weren’t showing you an the usual amount of irritation and after a while he started to comment about you as well.
that was exactly 6 days ago.
right now, you were at the music room once again, sitting by the piano learning how to play twinkle twinkle little star through an app.
it was a choice you made after the festival and okay. not your proudest decision but it calmed you down when you needed. school is not easy and having a hobbie whilst wanting to become a hero is hard.
it was an inoffensive little bobbie.
you were think jingle bells was probably next.
you’ve been there for about 30 minutes when the door slammed open. they really needed to check it someday, people have not been gentle with it.
and you look up to find bakugo katsuki irradiating rage. it was clear he wanted to storm off to the couch he sitted last time but to your unfortunate it was close to the piano and he quickly stopped once he noticed you were in the room as well.
everything you knew about class A was from kirishima cause him and tetsu were strangely close. which is funny because he’s really close to bakugo too but you rarely talked to the blonde up until now.
well, you heard this week that class A had a very important evaluation today. the show-us-in-public-how-much-you-evolved-your-quirk-and-rescuing-people kind of evaluation. so this right now could be related to that information.
you tried to read in his expression if you’d be the target of whatever got him enraged but before you could analize anything he simply angrily sat and closed his eyes.
his irritation tugged something in you. a bit of impotence. you had no idea how to help him and you’re certain that ask him how is the absolute last option.
so you did the most reasonable thing. you look down and continue to play the piano.
twinkle twinkle little star.
if it helped calmed you down perhaps it did the same for him. the boy who smashed the drums. ha.
and for a fair 5 minutes that’s how you both stayed. once you thought you were beginning to understand how to differentiate the dozen of white sticks in front of you, you raise your head to find him in the exact position as before.
you don’t know him well but if you thought you did, you’d say the wrinkles around his eyes and the furrow between his brows seemed slightly relaxed.
“in the piano i’m better than you.” you say almost whispering and let out a chuckle. “ha!”
he shakes his head imperceptibly with his eyes still closed.
“you’re stupid.”
you play another verse of the one song you know on the piano before answering “i don’t think so.”
is that the ghost of a smile you see on his face?
“i can teach you.” you continue.
“absolutely doubt that.”
“you don’t trust me?”
he finally lowers his head and makes a face to you. a low and short grunt in response.
“oh no.” you shake your head “i thought we were past this. i swear i didn’t let you win when we trained. you won far and square, i promise.”
it was a single joke to lighten up his mood. you only intended to create a good and natural conversation but when you heard him snickering with a pinch of genuine laugh underneath it you wanted to make a few more jokes to keep hearing it.
“you’re stupid.”
“i thought we were past this too.”
“i’m gonna past you if you say that again.” his raspy but calm voice fills the room.
“i see you need a little more of twinkle twinkle little star in you.” you look down and start to play again with a surprising efficiency.
“for the love of god.” he looks up grunting.
“okay.” you stop playing.
you look at him again and his eyes are you. “learned this one today.”
“congratulations.” very sincerely sarcarstic of him.
“in half na hour. one note at of time” you add.
he grimace and you smile.
“just saying.” you add. you pass your fingers through the piano keys threatening to actually touch them. “do you consider yourself a good drummer?”
“i’m fucking great.”
you nod in response.
he raises his eyebrows for a millisecond. “how’d you know?”
now, that’s the tricky part. he doesn’t sound bitter or even rude. he’s completely neutral and you don’t know how to read this... challenge? audacity?
he noticed you weren’t at the festival and you know what he’s asking you now and you’re not sure how to continue the conversation. or how to take that in general
do you think you can handle how his view of you would probably change? if you’re confotable enought to share, does it matter? and surprising even youself, you think trust him to be honest without you getting hurt with him.
“are we caring about what the crowd says now?” your voice small.
“only the ones that don’t waste my time.” he replies just as careful.
well.
that was not good for your heart.
“let’s say” you start “i’m here learning an instrument. it’s not very different from why you’re here today.”
his brows immediately furrow “i think it is-”
“did we not” bold move interrupting him. “learn these instruments for the same reason?”
“careful.”
“and honestly-“
“aren’t you a honest person.” It comes out rough of him.
“this” you gesture lazily to the room. “it’s working for me.”
he is genuinely paying attention to what you’re saying. you don’t wonder if it’s because he’s getting angrier or you’re a easy distraction.
“at least that’s what i’d like to believe. i’m 3rd place in my class and i’m getting better... with everything else.” anxiety, you mean
he’s just staring and you keep going softly  “you’re practically top 3 of the whole school. and that’s a lot of pressure, i’d be terrefied.”
“yeah?” he hums.
“uhum.” red is a fucking intimidating color. “even the most powerful person in school needs a little bit of easiness. i hope this place helps you as it helps me...”
the last part comes out almost like a whisper. and you’re aware you’re talking too much but the boy already saw you sitting in a corner of this very room with ruined makeup. it doesn’t get worse or realer than that.
 “we just need to work on our control.”
then even his aura changes. he carefully tilts his head, daring you to continue.
“we?”
“don’t get me wrong-” you add.
“i’m not.” he hiss. shit.
“what i’m saying is...” you hesitate and push aside any warning in your head. and your exploding heart. “i don’t know you well, and i don’t want to assume. how could i know you from other peoples opinion?”
you can see him relaxing again. it’s very subtle. he’s not guarded anymore, so you take that in consideration. you start playing jingle bells in the background of your head to motivate you.
“but i come here to calm my mind and if you’re just like me... then you’re probably losing control of your brain too.”
you look down to your fingers and your breathing stabilizes. if you truly think about it, you were acutely more nervous about the fact of letting what you’re feeling out of you than him blowing your head out of you for what you said.
“are we psychoanalyzing each other?”
“no.” you shake your head “i just want you to enjoy twinkle twinkle little star with me.”
you want to look up but you’re scared.
“you know what i think?”
but with that you do look at him. he’s the softest he can be.
“that you are actually letting it control you.”
now, what the fuck.
how does he know things?
you’re the one with the furrowing brows this time. okay. he secret is always pretend you’re confident and in the control of the situation.
“oh bakugo,” you smile a little “are we friends now?”
“for a honest person you’re dodging a lot.”
goddammit. his aswers are always so quick.
“alright.” you compromisse “can we make na arrangement?”
“hm” that's all you got.
“every wednesday we train together after hours, that’ll help me” this part is true “and in return you’ll work on whatever makes you almost break the poor door everytime you come here.”
he was sending you a gaze that could blow you into atoms in the blink of an eye but you see that he thinks before answering.
“i'm not holding anything back."
him going along with you in this was enough as it is. "i'm not expecting you too."
"and then what?"
"then we meet at christmas and whoever is better will get a gift."
you bite a laughter when his response is rolling his eyes.
"like friends do." you add.
"i get it." he growls.
all of that leaves you with a sweet and fresh feeling. like when you're a little kid and you spend the day with your best friend of a week that is also your little crush that you don't know it's a crush cause you're too young and naive.
and that discovery doesn't ruin anything, cause you're a centered person. you're not expecting anything at all from this. having him as a friend is more than enough and you're grateful.
his phone seals the conversation when starts to ring but stops after he even got out of his pocket.
"fucking hate when they do that." he mumbles.
you look down again, not letting your mind twist.
"when i win and meet you in a month." he says very collected as he starts getting up "i'll need you to be very honest with me, got it?"
your whole body hair did not just went up with that. is he always like that?
"careful, bakugo." you hope you sound as nonchalant as him.
he's already by door when he answers you. "great. we have a deal."
he leaves closing the door more gently than you could.
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deityoftherain · 3 days ago
Text
sculpting memories - Smalletho Soulmates & Sibling Bad Boys Fantasy AU
Rating: Teen
Relationship: M/M, Gen
Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Status: Completed Oneshot
Word Count: 8,285
Summary:
Joel was content enough with his life as a sculptor, sticking around his hometown. Sure, it got a little lonely when his brothers were out exploring with their soulmates, left with only his creations and whatever managed to travel over the soulbound he shared with his soulmate to keep him company. A soulmate he's never met, and likely never will if he stayed where he was, according to his brothers.
He ignored their advice, forcing himself to accept fate in exchange for his own comfort. He was fine as things were. Obviously.
Luckily for him, and as a relief to Grian and Jimmy, fate had a different plan for Joel, showing its hand the moment a handsome stranger took refuge in his studio...
I wrote this for @i-got-hit-by-a-planet through the @mcytblrholidayexchange event! I really enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it :D
You can read the full fic under the cut if you don't want to reroute to AO3 <3
Joel could be cheesy and go on about how sculpting always came easily to him, but that would be a lie. Sculpting wasn’t just something he picked up one day and was suddenly a master at, no. Just like everyone else, he got himself an apprenticeship and worked his way to the skill level he was at now. 
What Joel could claim, however, was that he was really fucking ambitious. He always strived to create far beyond his skill level, which only pushed him to get better. He improvised, adapted, and overcame any challenge he faced until he was satisfied with the result. 
To be fair, he was a very slow learner at first. Like, astronomically slow, but as he worked day in and day out, that changed. Joel became more familiar with how the clay worked and the methods passed down from mentor to apprentice. 
He was actually quite quick now, all things considered. Joel could create small and simple cups, bowls, and vases within a few minutes, those of which became his source of income. Traveling traders would buy some of his wares and resell them beyond the territory of Woodland Forests. 
It was a steady gig, at the end of the day. It was certainly more steady than the freelance work he preferred. The freelance work was more interesting, of course, taking another’s ideas and making something beautiful out of it, but it wasn’t consistent. Consistency was necessary to support oneself. 
His favorite creations, however, were the ones that he made for himself. Joel liked to indulge himself after his work was done, taking the clay and molding faces and creating landscapes on vases. They often came to him in glimpses from his soulmate’s eyes for he’s never seen much of what he’s created for himself. Joel’s soulmate, after all, was what inspired him to sculpt in the first place.
Joel knew he had a soulmate far before he ever understood the concept himself. For as long as Joel could remember, he was bound to his soulmate. The connection was never strong enough to contact them with any sort of intentionality, no, but it was enough for Joel to deduct what sort of person they were. Their souls were connected to one another, after all, destined by the universe. 
Not all soulmates were romantic, but each was a life partner. Sometimes, soulmates were platonic, sometimes queerplatonic, occasionally familial, or something else under the sun. A soulmate didn’t complete another person, nor were they meant to dictate the other’s personal life, but a soulmate was a partner, someone meant to perfectly fit in their soulmate’s life like they had always been there.
And, in a way, they always have.
Joel knew deep within himself that his soulmate was to be his partner in the romantic sense. He didn’t know how to explain how he knew, he just did. His brothers would always laugh at him for being so
 mushy. Grian did, at least. Jimmy occasionally laughed too, mostly relieved not to be the one teased at that moment, but Joel would always glare at him and he’d shut up quickly.
“What do you think your soulmate would be like?” Jimmy wondered out loud, though the question was directed at them both. He laid with his back to the floor and his legs on his bed. His yellow wings were sprawled out beneath him, a genetic trait from their mother’s side of the family.  
“Stupidly oblivious,” Grian huffed bitterly, arms folded across his chest as he sat with his legs situated to look vaguely like a butterfly. His macaw-banded wings– also from their mother’s side– were folded into a heart behind him, feathers brushing up against the wall. 
“Well, duh.” Joel rolled his eyes, tail like a wolf’s flicking once to the left before sweeping to curl around his right side. He was the only one of his brothers to inherit the wolf genetics from their father’s side of the family. “It’s Scar! He’s always had his head in the clouds. That, and he can never sit still, which says a lot considering he uses a wheelchair to get around.” 
“And sometimes crutches!” Grian rushed to his soulmate’s defense, despite the fact they all knew this and that Grian’s response was half-baked at best. 
“You should tell him you’re soulmates,” Jimmy suggested for the thousandth time. “I would want my soulmate to tell me if they found out.” 
“Grian’s not going to do that,” Joel cut in, already knowing the truth. He poked Grian’s side with his foot, earning a squawk of protest and a swipe at his leg. Grian missed, and Joel continued, “We both know that Grian’s too much of a chicken.” 
“I am not!” Grian tried to defend himself, face turning red with embarrassment. “I just
 we’re too young to start any sort of romantic relationship. I don’t even know if he wants that. I’m just giving him space to try and figure it out.” “You’re fourteen?” Jimmy pointed out, brow furrowed. “Fourteen is a perfectly reasonable age to start courting, especially if the intended target is your soulmate!” 
“Not the point!” Grian dismissed Jimmy, but Joel ignored that fork in their conversation.  
“Really?” Joel deadpanned at Grian. “Scar Goodtimes? Mr. Physical Affection Extraordinaire? The fucker that makes innuendos all the time and pretends to not know what he said?” 
“He just doesn’t think before he speaks,” Grian murmured half heartedly. He cleared his throat and raised his voice to direct the conversation away from him. “What about you, Joel? Any closer to finding yours?” 
Joel clamped his jaw shut and averted his gaze. He didn’t want to talk about it. The air in the room soured from playful to tense. Luckily, Jimmy saved him, speaking up to talk about what he’s gathered about his soulmate through their connection. 
It had been a good several years since that moment, over a decade, in fact, and Joel still didn’t want to talk about it. The glimpses of his soulmate’s life that he was granted by the universe depicted lands far from his home in Woodland Forests. They featured faces of people he didn’t recognize with landmarks he didn’t know where to begin to locate. 
Finding his soulmate would require adventure and travel, but Joel had no interest in such a thing. Joel was a homebody at heart. He liked the predictability of his life. He enjoyed the connections he has with the other residents of Woodland Forests. He relished in the sense of community and solidarity clear between the townsfolk. And, while he wouldn’t always admit it, Joel loved and appreciated his family, no matter how much he teased them or they teased back. They knew this, of course, Grian often calling him a mother hen, but taking care of his younger brothers was just the birth-assigned task each eldest child was given. Joel couldn’t abandon them if he tried.

even if they frequently encouraged him to go out and explore like they each had done many times before.
“Come on, Joel!” Jimmy whined, draping himself against Joel. The taller was lucky Joel was strong because they would have both otherwise toppled over, cracking their skulls open on the rough earth. “Please?” 
“I said no,” Joel huffed, irritated at Jimmy’s persistent questioning. 
Jimmy flopped off of Joel, jutting out his lower lip in a pout. “But it would be so much fun! Do you plan to stay in this kingdom forever?” 
“Yes,” Joel replied, dry and blunt. He turned on his heel and left Jimmy there, not intending to humor his brother any longer, and that was that. 
What purpose did he have to leave? He liked it here, and he had no desire to enter foreign lands and potentially land himself into trouble in another kingdom. His bad-mouth and anger issues had gotten him into enough ruckus over the years. He had no desire to widen the amount of available jail cells he could spend the night in.
Besides, Joel had set up a comfortable life for himself in Woodland Forests. Occasionally, his family expressed worries of him being too lonely or too isolated or some shit like that, something about how they couldn’t always be around and had their own lives and soulmates, but Joel always waved their concerns off. He was content with his clay and the pieces of his soulmate the universe chose to deliver to him. Plus, how could he be lonely when he had customers and the other townsfolk?
Speaking of his soulmate, they must be experiencing some sort of adrenaline rush because Joel felt wired up, hurried, and out of breath despite barely moving for the past hour or three. Extreme or strong emotions were often shared between soulbounds, which always gave Joel a bit of whiplash no matter how long that sort of thing had been occurring.
“I don’t know why I’m so sad!” Jimmy wailed in distress, tears rapidly flowing from his tear ducts and wetting the front of his tunic. His body shuttered with each breath as he hugged himself tightly, fingernails digging into his shoulders. 
Joel tried to comfort him the best he could, but there wasn’t much any of them could do. If Jimmy couldn’t pinpoint a reason for such emotions, then they were likely being shared through his soulbound, meaning Jimmy had no control of the sensations. It was mostly up to Jimmy’s soulmate to get their act together. 
Still though, Joel couldn’t bear it to see his youngest brother so upset, so he pulled Jimmy into a hug and combed his fingers through Jimmy’s hair, muttering gentle reassurances reserved only for tender moments. 
The door to his shop swung open, forcing Joel out of his memories. His wolf-like ears twitched to attention as his gaze snapped to the intruder. Joel barely had time to process what happened as the stranger ducked behind a cabinet and curled as small as he could in the corner between the wall and the cabinet. Their hair and fur were snow white, not surprising once Joel came to the conclusion that they were an arctic fox hybrid. He’s known other fox hybrids, but never an arctic fox, so that in itself was interesting, but also what the hells was he doing in his workshop? 
“Uh, hello?” Joel narrowed his eyes at the other man, crossing his arms across his chest. “The place’s closed. Come back tomorrow.”
The arctic fox hybrid had a black mask over his nose and mouth, covering most of his face, but the fear in his wide eyes shined with enough emotion to make up for the concealed parts. “Please hide me!”
Joel gaped at him in disbelief. Who did this guy think he was, telling him what to do? Joel scoffed at the ridiculousness of this situation. “Hide you?”
“Yes,” the other nodded quickly, voice no more than a whisper. “Don’t tell them I’m here. Please.”
Joel furrowed his brow at him, which only had the other flick his fox-like ears back and pathetically beg for Joel’s aid using only his eyes. He was clearly not from here, based solely on his accent and the fact Joel knew everyone in this part of Woodland Forests. Joel sucked in his lips, struggling to resist such a pitiful plea. His brothers always did this sort of shit too, and Joel was rarely strong enough to refuse for long.
Am I really going to do this? Joel wondered to himself as he sighed heavily, absentmindedly tugging his long hair out of its ponytail and then redoing it to be more secure. “Fine, but I demand an explanation after.”
“Deal,” the arctic fox hybrid was quick to agree to the terms, somehow shrinking back into the corner even more.
Joel averted his gaze from the stupidly handsome man and walked to the door to his workshop. He had thought he had locked it, but apparently not. This time, he ensured the door was not going to budge without inhuman strength. The sign on the door indicated that he wasn’t taking customers or commissions at the moment, so it would hopefully deter whoever was after the stranger.
The arctic fox hybrid’s breathing hitched in his throat door as shouting grew closer to the door, but they both were deadly silent by the time someone rattled the doorknob in an attempt to open it. “It’s locked! He must have fled further down. Come on, before he gets away!” 
Joel waited until he couldn’t hear them anymore before pressing his wolf ear against the door. He could feel his own heartbeat, though he wasn’t sure why because he wasn’t scared! What reason did he have to be scared? He hadn’t done anything wrong! Why was anxiety pricking at his skin so furiously?
Eventually, Joel backed up from the door and turned around. He didn’t bother to look in the stranger’s direction, simply gesturing for the other man to follow him toward the door in the back, one that led up to a small loft above his workshop. Joel was about to enter when he paused to glance over his shoulder, checking to see if the other was following him.
He was not.
Joel raised an eyebrow. “What are you waiting for?” “You–” the arctic fox hybrid squinted, obviously confused, “you want me to come with you? You’re not kicking me out?”  “Does it look like I’m kicking you out?” Joel rolled his eyes. Hadn’t his intentions been obvious? “Come with me before I kick you out and you take your chances with whoever is after you. This better not bite me in the ass, by the way, or you’re going to regret it.”
Joel didn’t wait this time, climbing his way up the spiral staircase to his studio flat. The flat wasn’t very big, but it was plenty for one person– maybe two if they were comfortable being in close proximity– complete with necessities and not too much more. Truthfully, it was all he needed, and he utilized the space well. While it may not be his main passion, Joel could confidently decorate with the best of them.
In an attempt to be courteous, Joel gave his guest– the stranger seemed to have been upgraded from intruder to guest in Joel’s mind within a short timeframe– space to take everything in. He retrieved the kettle off the counter and filled it up with water before stretching toward a nearby cabinet to fetch a pouch of magic fire dust. There were many ways to bring a kettle full of water to boil for tea, but fire dust was Joel’s preferred method.
“Do you need help?” his guest offered, suddenly appearing behind Joel and startling him. Joel cursed loudly, and his guest apologized, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Uh, my name is Etho, by the way.”
“Etho?” Joel parroted, eyeing him up and down. “That’s not a name you hear everyday. Did your parents name you after the then-baby prince of whatever that kingdom is called? The one to the west, I think. Are they fans of them or something?” “Something like that, yes,” Etho chuckled awkwardly with a half-hearted shrug.
“Bet they felt all fancy and foreign,” Joel joked, finding himself slipping into a far too familiar territory with someone he didn’t know. “Etho, so exotic I can’t even pronounce it like you can. Accents, ey?”
Etho’s expression morphed into an almost fond one, the look he gave Joel making him feel strangely but wonderfully warm. Joel didn’t quite know how to handle that, nor the butterflies in his stomach or the intoxication that came just from a masked smile. The blummin’ smile reached his eyes, and Joel found himself wanting to take a peek or five under that mask of his.
“It’s okay,” Etho assured him. “I find it cute.”
Cute. Joel studied Etho, somewhat warily but also a smidge flustered, before flicking his ear and turning back to prepping the tea. “I’m Joel, by the way.”
“Joel,” Etho repeated with a single nod. “I like that name. It’s nice.” “Thanks.” Joel had almost expected Etho to make unsolicited comments on his name next, but none came. It almost infuriated Joel, wishing Etho would take the mickey out of him like he had to Etho.
Not sure what else to say, silence fell between them. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it wasn’t very great either. Etho simply stood there awkwardly as Joel finished the tea, too close for comfort, but not close enough to properly make content. It was strange– Etho was strange– but Joel couldn’t find it in himself to be too bothered.
Once Joel poured the tea into the cups, he led Etho over to the two-chaired table Joel often spent meals eating at alone. That was, if his brothers didn’t come over, anyway. If they did, he pulled out a spare chair he could fold down and tuck away in a multitude of locations. It was currently slid under his bed.
“So,” Joel started once they settled down, green eyes piercing into Etho’s soul, “are you going to tell me why you’re on the run?” Etho blinked rapidly at him, as if surprised. Perhaps he was. Something in Joel was confident that he was, but he didn’t linger on that thought. “How did you know?”
“You broke into my workshop, ducked behind the nearest cabinet, and begged me to keep you hidden,” Joel deadpanned, unable to resist rolling his eyes. Was this fox guy dumb? “Plus, I know everyone in the greater Woodlands, and I don’t know you, so d’ya wanna tell me what you were running from or where you were running from? Maybe even a why, may I be so lucky.”
Silence seemed to echo off the walls, as impossible as that was, each moment feeling impossibly stretched thin before Etho shook his head. “I don’t want to say.”
Joel scoffed and took a sip of his tea. “So you’re a coward.” “I am not!” Etho denied, the part of his face Joel could see around his mask flushing pink with embarrassment.
“Mhm, yep, sure,” Joel agreed dryly, swirling the liquid in his cup. 
Etho averted his gaze, and Joel allowed quiet to fall over them. He had expected the hush to be awkward and full of tension, but it felt oddly
 peaceful? It was strangely comfortable, like they were meant to be together as they were. Just
 existing beside each other. Did the arctic fox hybrid have magic? Was he bewitching him somehow? Did Joel even care if he was or not?
Joel was halfway done with his tea when he broke the silence to ask, “Do you not like tea?”
“Huh?” Etho asked only to answer his own question before Joel got a chance to respond. “Oh, I do, I like tea, I just
”
“What? Are you scared?” Joel teased, a smirk growing on his lips. “It’s not poisonous, if that’s what you’re scared about. If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you already, or handed you over to the people looking for you.”
Etho crossed his arms over his chest, ears flicking back for just a moment in a way Joel honestly found really fucking adorable. “I’m not scared of you.”
“Oh yeah?” Joel raised an eyebrow in amusement. “Prove it?” “Prove it?” Etho repeated in disbelief. 
“You think I’m joking?” Joel didn’t back down from the challenge, staring him dead in the eyes. 
Etho sighed in defeat with a slight shake of his head. “You’re impossible.”
And perhaps Joel was impossible, as it were, and he knew many would agree, but there was
 something on Etho’s face that felt
 fond? Was Joel reading that correctly? 
“Yet you love it,” Joel shot back in a near automatic response.
Etho chuckled and
 yep, the something was definitely fond. “That I do.”
Creases formed by Etho’s eyes, like he was smiling underneath the mask, which only made Joel want to smile back. They were bickering, sure, but it was simply playful, maybe even fun. Warmth spread throughout his limbs as his heart beat just a little faster.
Time seemed to slow down as Etho started to remove his mask. Breath caught in Joel’s throat as the other peeled away the fabric to reveal what he looked like underneath. Joel had thought he was stunning before, but damn. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as Etho raised the tea cup to his to take a sip.
Joel averted his gaze for less than a second before meeting Etho’s eyes again. He wasn’t a coward; he could look some blummin’ guy in the eye! He studied the now-maskless man carefully, hiding the action by sipping his tea and maintaining idle conversation.
Etho was peculiar, but Joel didn’t find that fact necessarily bad. He had a scar over his left eye, a wound that must affect his vision in some sort of way. The eye almost looked bloodshot or like one of Joel’s clients– an albino cat hybrid– but it was less of a crimson or scarlet, and more blood red. His unaffected eye reminded him of Grian’s slightly soulless irises.
Neither Etho nor Grian’s eyes were truly soulless, but the inside joke had lasted between the brothers far too long at this point for Joel to forget. He and his brothers tended to be the kind to hold onto terms like that for reference later, especially if the term in question was stupid, funny, or an unintended innuendo.
Next thing Joel knew, hours had passed, the sun long gone below the horizon. They moved from the table to the “love seat”. It was a two-cushioned couch, meant for only two people, but Joel, Jimmy, and Grian have made it work when none of them were in the mood to sacrifice the prime spot and sit on the floor.
“Tim, get your boney hip away!” Grian shoved Jimmy away from him and toward Joel, which only resulted in protests from Jimmy and the loss of Joel’s couch space. 
“Jeez, man! Grian!” Jimmy tried to slap away Grian’s efforts to avoid being forced off the couch. “I wasn’t even that close! Stop shoving!” 
“Don’t make me kick you both out of my flat,” Joel threatened, resisting Jimmy’s intrusion in his space and pushing him back towards Grian. 
“You wouldn’t do that to your favorite brothers!” Grian countered, wings fluffing out. 
“You’re my only brothers,” Joel deadpanned, his wolf-like ear twitching. “And yes, I would. Would you like to test me?” 
“Guys!” Jimmy whined as he was seesawed back and forth between his older brothers. 

it didn’t always work.
Etho and him fit just well on the sofa, and it helped that Joel didn’t mind when they brushed against each other. In fact, Etho’s touch felt electric, perhaps magnetic, drawing Joel in despite his reservations. As someone who wasn’t huge on physical contact from others, that desire caught him off guard. He didn’t fully know what to do with himself, but that didn’t stop him nor Etho from shifting closer and finding excuses to come into contact.
“Stop touching me!” Joel ordered in a whine, maybe eight years old. 
“I’m not touching you!” Grian’s finger hovered over Joel’s skin, close enough Joel’s hairs could inform him of where Grian was touching without him having to look. 
Joel smacked his hand away, but that didn’t deter his brother. “Yes you are!” 
“No I’m not!” Grian continued to be a nuisance, as most younger brothers tended to be. 
That memory occurred so long ago that Joel couldn’t recall how it ended.
Either way, even when ignoring the physical, Joel still found it odd how easy Etho was to talk to. It was like they had known each other their whole lives, and were just meeting to catch up. Joel had never gotten along with a stranger this well, especially when he wasn’t doing his best to behave. Sucking up to authority to hide that he was a menace in every other situation was more of a Grian tactic than his. Joel was more likely to be unapologetically himself and suffer whatever consequences came with that.
Not that Etho was an authority, hells no! Etho was an equal; they were on the same playing field. They just fit together like adjacent puzzle pieces. Etho seemed to get him, and Joel relished in the fact that his quips and teasing were well-received. As Etho grew comfortable, he began reciprocating the jabs in his own witty way. 
Joel loved hi- it. 
“It’s getting late,” Joel announced with mild regret, finding himself not wanting the night to end. Stars, was he falling for Etho already? His brothers would never let that go if they knew. 
“That it is,” Etho acknowledged with a slight frown.
His eyes followed Joel’s gaze to the skylight he had installed, positioned to allow for sunlight while maintaining privacy from those walking around outside. The day’s light was far gone now, but the stars were visible and he didn’t have to worry about onlookers, and that was more than enough for Joel. 
The stars were truly gorgeous this time of year, bright and twinkling on the cloudless night. Maybe Joel would be able to show Etho at some point. They could find a nice place to lie down and stargaze
 would Etho enjoy something like that?
What is wrong with me? Joel cried inwardly, wanting to shove his face into his hands and half-groan half-scream his feelings out. Instead of groan-screaming, he tried to muffle a yawn into Etho’s shoulder before hugging Etho’s arm like a stuffed animal and using his upper arm as a somewhat-boney pillow.
“Are you planning to stick around?” Joel asked in a sleepy murmur, more hopeful sounding than he would have preferred. He shifted so he could observe Etho’s reaction before expanding on his previous question. “Sticking around Woodland Forests, I mean.” “Maybe.” Etho hummed non-committedly, a falsely innocent grin tugging at his lips as his gaze pierced down through his soul. “Why? Do you want me to stick around?”
Sly fox, Joel’s mentally accused with feigned annoyance, like he wouldn’t do similar in Etho’s situation. 
“As if!” Joel scoffed, though he made no effort to move. “I just wanted to know if you planned to use my shop to coward again or not.”
“It was not cowering,” Etho corrected, nay insisted. “I was simply using the resources at my disposal to avoid an undesired situation, like being smart and clever and stuff.”
“Sure,” Joel rolled his eyes, though there was no bite behind the motion. He struggled to hide how happy he was, which was easy considering the weariness that pulled at his limbs. It was past his bedtime, as he had woken early that day to work on his sculpting.
If Etho said something else, Joel didn’t catch it, half-slipping into unconsciousness. Perhaps he would have fully entered the dream realm, but something alerted him enough to jump with a start, forcing Joel back into the awake world. He partially sat up, brushing his hair out of his face– when had he let it down?– as he blinked rapidly in confusion. “Huh? Wha?” “Shh, it’s okay,” Etho soothed, arms securely around Joel as he whispered into his ear. Joel settled back down and Etho’s fingers returned– returned? How did he know that?– to combing through Joel’s brown locks. If Etho were anyone else, Joel may have been embarrassed, but
 no one had to know. Not when Joel wanted it so bad, wanted that comfort. “Sleep, don’t worry. I got you.” A soft ecstasy covered him like a warm blanket, constant and overwhelming, but also secure and not too much to handle. Joel wasn’t sure if the emotion was dulled by his half-awake state, or if it was just another thing that his soulmate unintentionally shared through their soulbound. Before he could think about it too hard, Joel lost hold on his intelligent thoughts, slipping into the world of the unconscious.
If Joel had taken a moment to step back, perhaps he would have noticed the signs earlier. Grian and Jimmy teased him for being dense, but how did they expect Joel to connect the dots when Etho’s presence was so natural, much like he had been there the whole time? There was no “adjustment period” or significant effort put into getting used to living together. They just were. 
“What inspired this?” Etho inquired one day, not too far in the future. 
“What inspired what?” Joel responded with his own question, shifting his attention from his busy work– from creating bowls to sell for profit– to Etho. “Hold on, give me a second, and I’ll look.” 
The arctic fox hybrid had spent a lot of time watching Joel work, as if he were studying techniques with nothing but his vision to aid him, but, those past few days, Etho turned his focus elsewhere. Instead of watching Joel create, he studied previous creations of Joel’s instead. 
Many sculptures perplexed him, Joel could tell, but Etho denied the claim whenever Joel brought it up. Etho had reassured them that they were very good, just vaguely
 familiar. Joel shrugged, not often having an answer for him. Perhaps the illustrations he committed to sculpted pottery weren’t as unique or specifically detailed as he thought his imagination was, not if Etho had seen such works before. 
Joel got to a stopping point, wiped his hands with the designated rag, and got up to join Etho where he was gawking. He froze as his gaze landed on a sculpted boat, one of his most prized creations. Joel had spent well over a month dedicated to specifically it– tending to every detail he could possibly think of including– so long that he even gave it a name. 
“The Relation. The relation-?” Etho read off the lettering Joel had meticulously added as a little inside joke to himself. Joel had thought it was hilarious, at the time, and Etho must have thought so too by the smile creased by his eyes. “The Relation Ship! Aha, I get it. That’s clever, I like it.” 
“Thanks,” Joel grumbled, carefully picking up the boat like it would break if he looked at it wrong to locate it somewhere else away from Etho. 
That must have confused Etho, for he scrunched his nose and tilted his head as if trying to view the situation from another angle. He didn’t protest Joel’s action, however, something Joel appreciated. Etho was good about that, not pushing Joel’s boundaries when it came to something clearly important to him. 
The Relation Ship wasn’t for other people to see, only Joel and his soulmate. His brothers hadn’t even seen it! Perhaps that was a little overprotective of him– perhaps silly or childish were better words– but The Relation Ship was one of the only things he and his soulmate shared! 
Joel hoped it was something they shared, at least.
No one could ever truly know what would be shared through one’s soulbound. One could make an educated guess or a half decent prediction, but nothing was for sure. Just because Joel saw flashes of sketched boats through his soulmate’s eyes via the soulbound link didn’t mean his soulmate received any notice of Joel’s recreation. 
He sometimes worried that they’d never see it, but that thought saddened him too much to linger on

Okay, anyway–
There were times Joel and Etho simply existed together, doing their own things or working on nothing at all. Parallel play, he thought Etho called it when referring to that time at some point. He wasn’t sure, but either way, that wasn’t the point. The point was that Etho had started to hang around even while Joel sculpted, but not always to watch this time. Instead, Etho brought down some parchment from the loft that he had paid for himself and sketched whatever he fancied.
Despite Joel’s jabs at Etho for being a lousy freeloader, he was actually anything but. He did persuade Joel into letting him stay with him at his flat for free, despite all logic and good sense, but Etho strangely didn’t disappoint. Etho made himself useful, helping keep the flat clean and going out into town for odd jobs. Apparently Etho was handy with redstone– a sort of magical technology Joel only knew the basics of– brushing off the skill as just a hobby despite his expertise. He raked in more than enough money to earn his keep.
Based on what Joel knew about his handiness and tendency to be creative in his crafts of choice, he shouldn’t have been surprised when Etho asked, “Can you teach me?” 
“Teach you?” Joel prompted, raising an eyebrow. “Teach you what? To sculpt? To be as hot and sexy as me?” 
Etho snorted in amusement, tail swaying idly behind him, though all he said aloud was “Yes.” 
“To be hot and sexy? That’s not a teachable skill, unfortunately, for you would have come to the right place. Luckily for you, you already do fine– just not as good as me, of course,” Joel joked lightheartedly before answering what he assumed was Etho’s real question. “If you want to learn to sculpt, on the other hand, you’ll have better luck with a master.” 
Etho mulled over Joel’s response for several heartbeats, so long that Joel hadn’t expected the conversation to continue any further. He had gone back to what he was doing when Etho spoke again, “Are you not a master?” 
Pride bubbled up in his chest as he straightened his posture and wagged his tail, beaming brightly at Etho. “Not officially, no, but I’m flattered you think I’ve mastered the craft already.” 
“Have you not?” Etho glanced at some of Joel’s nearby works that he decided to keep when they were finished, skeptical of Joel’s not-yet-mastary. 
“Ha!” Joel threw his head back in a dog-ish– wolf-ish?– bark. “Hells no.” 
They both filled a hole in the other’s life, one that neither of them fully realized had been empty. Joel found himself enjoying the company, something he’d been missing with his brothers off doing their own things. It didn’t help that Joel tended to isolate himself in his studio, zoned in on his projects and nothing else. Business transactions and small talk had nothing on a genuine friendship. 
Without his brothers there as often, he had no one to watch after or drag him out to do things he claimed he didn’t want to do. Joel hadn’t realized just how lonely he had become until he got a taste, much like a sip of water after unintentionally slipping into dehydration. He just couldn’t get enough.
Now, It had been a little over a year since Etho had entered his life, and Joel was eternally grateful for it. His lonesome flat had become more lively with Etho’s things added among Joel’s and sketches Etho had gifted Joel pinned up in a gallery to decorate the walls. It was perfect, their relationship was perfect, but their understanding of their status was
 admittedly embarrassing, to say the least.
“What do you mean he’s not your boyfriend?” Grian exclaimed a little too loudly, flabbergasted.
“Quiet!” Joel growled under his breath, rough and rumbley as a byproduct of his wolf genetics.  “I don’t need the entirety of Woodland Forests in my business!”
“Fine!” Grian huffed back, mildly irritated at the correction, but not enough to refuse submitting to Joel’s request. He repeated himself, this time at a lower sound level. “What do you mean he’s not your boyfriend? Haven’t you two been dating this whole time?”
“Yeah,” Jimmy agreed with Grian, seemingly astounded by this news, “I thought you had found your soulmate and started dating him, and just didn’t want to tell us directly yet for some reason–”
Joel pursed his lips, ears flattening back against his head. He didn’t want to admit anything, but with his brothers looking at him so expectantly, and, well
 there wasn’t much they could hide from each other for long. “We haven’t talked about it.”
“It?” Grian parroted, the word pitching up an octave with his disbelief. “It? Joel, I can’t believe you–”
“Why not?” Jimmy cut in before Grian could say more, face all contorted and bewildered. “Don’t you like him?” “Of course I like him!” Joel snapped, face growing red with embarrassment and shame. He groaned, leaning forward as he tangled his fingers in his hair. The tug on his scalp was just enough stimulation to distract his mind from blowing a fuse and doing something he’d regret. 
“Then what’s the problem?” Grian questioned, not granting Joel any empathy. “You like him, you’re soulmates, you’ve been functionally dating for months now– what’s the issue? Honestly, where is it, ‘cause I don’t see one.”
“It’s not that simple!” Joel claimed with a desperate wail, tugging harsher on his scalp. Jimmy shifted closer to Joel, taking a more sympathetic approach. He wrapped his arm around his shoulder and rested his wing against the back of his torso, but he didn’t say anything. Not yet. “You of all people should understand, Grian, with Scar, and with–”
“Yes, and I’d be the first to admit that I was an idiot in my youth,” Grian deadpanned, before sighing. “Joel, I would have saved a lot of heartache if I just was transparent with Scar years ago. I am passing on that advice I had to learn the hard way for you and your soulmate–”
“I don’t even know if Etho is my soulmate
” Joel murmured defeatedly, hands dropping from his unstyled hair to his lap. He curled his tail close to his body, so tightly that the end of the wolf’s tail was close enough for Joel to fidget with the end of it. “Not for sure, anyway. I mean, I have a hunch, but how can I really be sure when–”  “But you want it to be true, don’t you?” Jimmy spoke up, far more caring than Joel deserved. Joel was supposed to be the responsible, mature caregiver of the trio. He wasn’t supposed to be the one needing help. That wasn’t a job for the youngest nor the middle child, yet here they were
 
“Of course I do,” Joel’s voice cracked as he squeezed his eyes shut, tears trickling down his cheeks. “How could I not? I mean, I love– like him! Stars, how could I not like him? I wish I knew, for this
 infatuation is such a problem.”
“I can’t believe you just called what you and Etho have an in-fat-u-a-tion,” Grian drawled out that last word. “You two have been living like a married couple for months! I don’t know how else to tell you that that is not ‘infatuation’, mate.”
“Even if it was, how is that a problem?” Jimmy leaned his head against Joel’s shoulder, arm still wrapped around him as he idly twirled and curled Joel’s hair around his fingers. “Does he not like you back like that? Or do you mean to say he’s not a romantic soulmate? A platonic one, perhaps? I have a friend like that, you know, and there’s nothing wrong with it, they’re happy–”
“Our relationship is anything but platonic,” Joel corrected, smiling weakly at the thought of what they had being anything else, as if it were amusing or something to entertain themselves with. No one looked at only a friend like Joel and Etho looked at each other. Joel’s smile fell and he bit the inside of his lip with his canine teeth. “I just
 I don’t want to fuck it up.”
Grian took a deep breath, presumingly to calm himself down before he allowed his annoyance at Joel’s dumbassary to influence his comments anymore. “The only way you’re going to fuck it up is if you don’t do anything about it.”
Jimmy nodded briefly in agreement. “At the end of the day, it’s better to know than to live in this limbo of inbetween.”
Joel didn’t respond right away as he mulled over their words. He sniffed as he dried his eyes with his sleeve. “When did you two grow up and get so wise?”
Grian and Jimmy didn’t respond with any sort of actual answer, instead mwah-ing kisses all around him in between cooing playful sentiments at him. Joel swatted them away lightheartedly, not using most of his strength so he didn’t accidently hurt them. “Oh, enough you two! Fuck off!”
His brothers only giggled in response, and Joel couldn’t help but join the chorus. 
They were right though. He had to do something about it. If he didn’t, he feared he might burst.
That was a bit of an over exaggeration, but he’s always been good at those.
Joel had gotten his wish to show Etho the stars properly fulfilled multiple times before, stargazing even becoming one of their favorite pastimes. Etho had built a reputation for himself, meaning he got rather busy, and Joel still maintained his business, but they tried to find time to stargaze at least once a week, even if it was from the comfort of their flat. 
It didn’t matter to Joel if they went out to lay in the grassy outdoors or if they chose to observe the constellations through the lens of their flat’s skylight. As long as they got to have that time, he was content. Honestly, as long as Etho acknowledged Joel’s existence, he was over the moon.

maybe he had fallen for the arctic fox hybrid a bit harder than he first guessed.
Huh. Anyway– 
Now Joel’s never done yoga or anything, but he was fairly confident that their stargazing had that same sort of meditative effect. Ever since Etho and Joel decided to make stargazing a regular event, Joel’s found himself less quick to anger or prone to explode. The urges and impulses were still there, of course, but they had
 dulled. They’d become more manageable. 
Joel couldn’t recall the last time he’s gotten in a tiff with a merchant or pissed off the guards enough to spend the night in a cell. Maybe his brothers had been right this whole time. Maybe having something– someone worth coming home to actually did help. Joel had always been too full of himself– too arrogant– to actually ever take their advice.
Speaking of his brothers’ advice

“Etho?” Joel broke the silence cautiously, though he didn’t yet lift his head from Etho’s shoulder.
They two laid under the skylight staring at the stars with pillows supporting their heads and a large blanket draped over them to share. Etho laid flat on his back with his arm under Joel as Joel sandwiched his right arm between them and rested his left arm on Etho’s chest, hand over his sternum.
Etho didn’t respond at first, making Joel worry he had fallen asleep just as he had gathered his nerve, but those anxieties dissolved once Joel shifted just enough to see Etho’s face only to find it flushed pale pink. The pale pink always looked so lovely against the snow-white of Etho’s hair and fur, and Joel found pleasure in eliciting a blush from him. “Whatcha looking at?”
“You.” The word flowed from Etho’s lips so smoothly that Joel had half the will to deny its genuinity. 
Joel’s own blush killed any notion of doing so, however. “Okay, sure, yeah. Whatever you say, Etho.”
Etho’s breathing hitched, followed by what Joel could almost swear was an “Oh, snap–”  
What a blummin’ dork, Joel couldn’t help but think, huffing a laugh. “You okay there?”
“Yeah,” Etho whispered airily out as he turned his head to bury his face against the base of Joel’s hair, his fingers absentmindedly messing with the ending strands. “Yep, yep, everything’s okay here.”
Joel kept his hair well-maintained, a requirement for being allowed long hair as a child, and he has simply kept it up into adulthood. Fidgeting with it became a staple for not only himself, but his brothers, and apparently anyone else who managed to get close enough, proved by Etho.
Their unplanned detour led to Joel momentarily forgetting the intentions he had for tonight so, instead of using the silence as an opportunity to bring it up again, he stayed quiet, simply enjoying Etho’s presence. 
For better or for worse, Etho pressed a close lip kiss against the top of his head before speaking again, “I’m always a sucker for how you say my name, no matter how many times you do it. Actually, I’m just a sucker for you in general, to be honest.”
Joel detached himself from Etho’s torso, sitting up and looking down at the fox hybrid, ignoring the way Etho made his heart flutter like nothing else. The sensation only became more intense with their soulbound. Was he making Etho feel the same way?
Etho rose to sit up alongside him, a glimpse of fear on his features. Joel resisted a frown, instead deciding to tease his soulmate– his soulmate!– by leaning into the “Eefo” pronunciation that came with his native Woodland Forests accent. 
“What a cheesy romantic you are, Etho,” Joel jested with faux and playful disgust. Ugh, when had he become such a sap for this man?
“Could you blame me?” Etho didn’t wait for an answer, cupping Joel’s face gingerly. Joel melted into Etho’s hold, letting his eyes flutter close. He placed his own hand over the one cupping his face, partly to help support the weight of his head and partly to nonverbally convince Etho to not let go. 
As this happened, Joel did his best to ignore the way his tail involuntarily wagged like an excitable dog, thumping against the blankets with a dulled thump, thump, thump. As bad as that was, he worked even harder to get his brothers’ childhood teases about him really being part dog further away. Joel didn’t need their comments in their head right now, as deserved as they may be.
Stars above, how had he managed to delude himself of Etho’s feelings when he acted like this? 
“Can you blame me,” Etho asked again, “for being sappy when I have you as a soulmate?”
Joel’s eyes flew open as his body went all tense and rigid, hand falling to his side. “You knew?”
“I’ve had a hunch for awhile,” Etho admitted, scratching the back of his neck and not looking Joel in the eyes, “but I wasn’t sure, because you never said anything, but, uh, yeah.”
Laughter bubbled in his chest and spilled out of him, less out of joy and more out of shock. Joel’s unexpected laughter must have caught Etho off guard for he hesitantly checked in with, “Your reaction confirms that we are, right? And that you’re
 good with it, and want me too– want me like I want you– and–?”
“Yes!” Joel tried to contain himself, but he wasn’t very successful. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over. “Yes, of course, you beautiful, blummin’ idiot.”
“I– You really have a way with words, don’t you?” Etho replied sarcastically, though no negativity could be detected among the sarcasm. “I’m, like– I’m getting mixed signals here, Joel.”
Joel rolled his eyes affectionately, throwing his leg over Etho’s legs so he could practically sit on his lap facing towards his soulmate. Joel tugged on the collar of Etho’s top until they were close enough for their lips to brush and for Joel to feel Etho’s breath on his face. He didn’t try to contain his tail this time, and Etho didn’t appear to either. 
“You talk too much.” Not true in the slightest, especially with Joel being the more talkative one out of the pair, but logic and rationale weren’t exactly on his mind at the moment. “You should do something about that.”
Etho pulled Joel flush against him, using the fat just above Joel’s hip bone to secure his grip. His lips parted briefly, as if he were going to respond with some sort of witty retort. Before he could get anything out, Joel traced his tongue against the ridges of his sharp canines, effectively attracting Etho’s attention. His soulmate’s pupils dilated, their mutual desire only amplified by their soulbound.
Their lips collided like two forces of nature fighting to consume the other. They devoured each other, intoxicated with each give and take, getting lost in their venture for pleasure and bliss. The ever present want refused to die down now that it was given what it had yearned for for so long. Joel knew it would be difficult to stop once they started, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
It was difficult for Joel to differentiate where he started and Etho began, especially with the building sensations they traded back and forth. Joel understood his brothers actions and mindset in accordance to their soulmates a whole lot better now, a realization that brought a strange sense of enlightenment. 
Euphoria pulsed through his veins, and he never wanted to stop. Not when he’s wanted so long, not when they have needed each other for so long

Neither he nor Etho knew what the future held for them, but something told Joel that, as long as they had each other, they were more than ready to take on the challenge. Joel wanted nothing more than to see where life would continue to take them. Etho was worth it and more, after all, but don’t tell him Joel said that. He would tell Etho himself in due time, but the proper words could come later. For now, though, Joel enjoyed what they shared, and he knew Etho felt the same, and that was more than enough for him.
If you got this far, please like and reblog, and maybe even kudos and comment over on AO3! Thank you kindly, I appreciated it <33
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triscishistrionic · 3 days ago
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HI SINCE U ARE THE HPD HAVER OF TUMBLR DO U HAVE ANY TRANSHPD TIPS????!!1????!1!??1!1?1!!!?
YES I FUCKING DO!!! /LH NBR POS
I meant to make a master post abt this but, HAVE SOME RN!!!!!!!1!1!1!
TIP 1: Make everything a bigger deal than it needs to be!
Even if something doesnt really interest you a lot, pretend like it does.
If someone says something kind of dry or vague, make it seem interesting!! Use all caps, or if you're irl, talk fast and loud! Say a lot about something that there isnt a lot to say about.
For example, someone says, "I'm hungry." You might sayy, "O MY GOSH, when's the last time you've ate?? We NEED to get you something to eat, what's your favorite food? OOOOO, you know what, mine is actually Graham crackers and I have some on me RNRN, do you want some?? You know you can ask for food from me ANYTIME, riiiight? You're my bestest friend, I'd do ANYTHING for you if you asked really."
If you're irl, MAKE SURE TO GIVE THEM TIME TO ANSWER U BACK IN BETWEEN!! They might be put off if they dont get to talk as well, which is bad!! The goal is to be entertaining enough to keep them around as long as possible, or as long as they're attention is worthy.
TIP 2: Fake your interests and morals to match everyone elses!
Sometimes, you'll find that your opinions or interests are different than everyone else's. This is generally not good, because it can cause conflict with other people, or they might find you angering or unrelatable. Not good for attention seeking!
What you want to do instead is fit in with everyone else's beliefs while still making a statement of your own.
For example, if you find yourself in a group of people who love the musical Hamilton, but you hate Hamilton, you should try to push that aside and fake your love for it! You not only want to be agreeable, but you also want to stand out. For example:
Person A: "Oh my god guys, I watched Hamilton again last night and it was SOOO good."
Person B: "OH MY GOSH yes, it's literally my favotieee musical"
Person C: "oh yeah, me too!"
You: "OH MY GOD GUYS, you have NOOOO idea, I would literally die to go see Hamilton again. I've seen the musical like, 20 times already and it's so GOOD it's LITERALLY like my baby."
Person A: "ITS MY FAVORITE TOO IVE LITERALLY SEEN IT PROBABLY 25 TIMES NOW"
You: "WELL, MY AUNT LITERALLY PLAYS AS ONE OF THE BACKGROUND CHARACTERS IN IT, LIKE IN THE OFFICIAL SHOW THEY DO. SHE HAD LIKE 50,000 PEOPLE WATCHING IT WAS CRAZY, SHE TOLD ME ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS SHE WAS ACTING WITH LITERALLY TRIED TO HIT ON HER TOO DURING THE NIGHT OF THE SHOW."
You can see that person A is a formidable opponent here. Clearly they are a Hamilton lover and extroverted, and tried to one-up you there. But you need to be the BEST, the shining star! You are now the number one Hamilton fan and no one can prove themselves otherwise!
You might need to cut other people off before they start speaking if they're more boring, like person C. The convo will get much less exciting if they have more room to talk, and they're attention isnt as valuable as Person A's or Person B's.
Also, you dont need to know *anything* about the musical Hamilton to take the stage in this convo. Just say things that you could say about any musical ever!
I HOPE THESE HELPED, MWWWWAH!!! HAVE A LOVELY DAY ANON, AND HAPPY TRANSITIONING!!! ^w^
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haroldhearsawho · 2 days ago
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@oopsiedaisiesbaby Since you wrote something for me here’s something for you that’s been brewing in my head for awhile now:
Ok so hear me out- I don’t know how people feel about rpf (I mean technically Clegan is rpf) but this picture of Austin and Callum has given me all sorts of ideas, I can’t help it đŸ˜©:
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So I’m thinking they’ve always flirted with one another but always made it out it be a joke, or like they’d back off as soon as or before it got too serious. Like they’d both say off hand comments or remarks about/to the other that always has the other reeling back and wondering, second guessing everything but convincing themselves they’re trying to make it into something it’s not, seeing things that aren’t there, looking too far into it. And the way Austin looks at Callum- it’s hard for Callum to look back sometimes, it feels so intense and sensual and he’s afraid of his own expression giving anything away. But Callum tells himself Austin looks at everyone that way, he has very intense eye contact and it can easily come across as sexual when he doesn’t mean for it to. So they’ve been dancing around one another for as long as they’ve known each other.
Also- as far as their sexuality goes, in my head, Callum has never really been interested in men, but there have been more than a few times where he’s found stereotypical “pretty boys” and “twinks” attractive like he would a woman and thought about what it would be like to have sex with them, and it wasn’t a repulsive thought, but he always buried that in the back of his head. Until he met Austin and then all bets were off, not even to himself could he pretend he didn’t want to absolutely wreck him. But he told himself it was because it/he was Austin, like everyone wants him, he just has that affect on people. And he’s just so fucking gorgeous and lovely that he defies gender and sexuality.
And then for Austin, well- I think he’s definitely felt attraction to men before. More so than Callum. But it’s also something he’s buried deep down and not dealt with or acted upon (except for maybe a few make out sessions or mutual jerking off/hand jobs with his male peers as a teen), because he has a lot of hang ups about it, partly due to how he’s perceived by the public as a pretty and feminine man, so he often feels the need to overcompensate in the opposite direction, also because he doesn’t want to get typecast as that type of man all the time. And also because of so much of the unwanted attention and attraction he has received from grown and older men since puberty. He’s had creepy old and middle aged men creep on him since he was a teenager and so he still feels uncomfortable about it, still gets the creeps sometimes when an older man will make a comment toward/to him or touch him in what could be an intimate way. I imagine he had quite a few uncomfortable or outright inappropriate interactions with or comments directed at him by male executives, producers, and directors as a young teen auditioning for and landing roles on Disney and Nickelodeon, and so obviously that made the “finding men attractive” part of his brain shut off completely, even though men closer to his age (who he was actually attracted to on some level) weren’t the issue and weren’t who made him feel uncomfortable.
So, Callum and Austin have been dancing around each other since they first met. But that night at the Boys in the Boat premiere, Austin gets uncharacteristically sloshed for whatever reason, maybe he just was in a good happy mood and felt safe and so he let himself go a bit. (He always feels safe with Callum). Callum is finding it very entertaining to see Austin so unguarded and carefree; Austin is always friendly and approachable, but he’s careful with who he opens up completely to and who he allows himself to be vulnerable around. Callum is one of the lucky few who he trusts to do so around, and Callum carries that privilege like a badge of honor. Austin is very flirty with Callum throughout the night, and gets more and more so, and touchier as well, the drunker he gets. And by the end of the night, Austin is completely defenseless, with zero inhibitions, plastered over and leaning heavily on Callum to hold him up or else he couldn’t stand by himself, smiling brightly and lovingly at Callum and looking up at him from under his lashes like he always does, but now it’s even more pointed, more intense, and it has Callum blushing deeply and turning his gaze away.
“He’s so lovely, even when he’s plastered,” Callum thinks to himself. “Let’s get you back to your hotel room, big guy, I think you’ve had enough fun for one night” is what he says out loud instead. Austin doesn’t argue, just giggles like Callum said something super funny and leans into him even heavier.
Callum gets his driver to take them both to the hotel Austin is staying at and tells him to wait while he walks Austin up to his room and makes sure he’s okay. In the elevator, Austin lays his head against Callum’s shoulder and looks up at him with a super serious expression on his face, and says “I feel safe with you, Cal.” Callum's heart flutters and melts in his chest and he swallows before he responds. “I’m always here for you, mate, you know that.” Austin smiles at that and leans his head again back on Callum’s shoulder.
Callum gets Austin up and into his hotel room, putting Austin’s arm around his shoulders and holding onto his hand that’s around his neck, trying not to think about how his hand easily wraps around Austin’s entire wrist. The whole time Austin is just hanging off of him. Once he gets him into his room, he bends down to help Austin take off his shoes, but as he does, Austin stops him with a hand on his shoulder and pulls him back up. “Stay the night with me here, Cal?” he asks with those big blue puppy dog eyes.
“I can’t, my driver is waiting for me outside the hotel,” Callum replies truthfully. He can’t deny that he wants to stay, but he knows what a terrible idea that would be for so many reasons, most of all being that he knows Austin will be embarrassed in the morning and it will be awkward as hell. Austin pouts a little bit and oh God, he’s so adorable, this drunk 32 year old grown man pouting looking like he’s about 12.
“You’ll be okay, let’s just get you to bed,” Callum says as he helps maneuver Austin to the bedroom in the hotel suite. As he’s trying to get Austin to sit or lay down on the bed from where he’s still hanging off of him, Austin is looking up at him intensely again from under those damn lashes and rasps, “Kiss me, Cal.”
He’s looking at him completely open. No inhibitions. Just pure, deep desire. And yeah, Callum’s entire body feels like it’s on fire. He audibly gasps. There’s a heat growing in his groin and his heart is beating rapidly in his chest and his palms are sweating and his face is on fire and no, this can’t be happening, what is happening right now. He’s got to be imagining this.
But that’s right, Austin is drunk. He’s not thinking straight, that’s all. He doesn’t have control of his faculties at the moment. He won’t even remember saying it in the morning. He looks away from Austin’s intense gaze and manages to choke out, “I can’t, Aus. You’re-you’re drunk.” Austin, damn him, gets that stupidly adorable and heartbreaking pout back on his face. His eyes even seem to be filling with tears, his forehead wrinkles up.
“Why won’t you kiss me?” he whines. Callum at first feels absolutely heartbroken until he realizes that Austin has probably never been rejected or denied a kiss once in his life; he’s probably genuinely confused with Callum’s answer. He laughs under his breath at that. “God, the irony, if he only knew how much I want to” he thinks.
“I cant, Aus. I’m sorry. Come on, let’s get you into bed.” Once he’s gotten him to lay down, Austin closes his eyes and it seems like it will only be a few seconds before he’s passed out. Callum pats him on the thigh and says, “I’ll text you tomorrow,” as he heads out the door and back down to where his driver is parked outside waiting.
The next day, Austin texts him around noon just to thank him for getting him safely back to his hotel room, and apologizes for being so out of it. Callum responds that it wasn’t a hassle and that he was glad he had a good time and enjoyed himself. Neither of them mention what Austin had said. Callum doesn’t ever ask him if he remembers what he said that night. They return to their normal dynamic, and luckily (or not) it doesn’t change anything about their friendship or feel awkward or weird at all.
Then I think maybe months later, after the Masters of the Air press tour has wrapped (in which there was a hell of a lot more flirting and touching), Austin texts Callum when it’s in the middle of the night (super early morning) in the UK and late at night in the US, asking if he’s awake. The buzz of his phone on his nightstand wakes him up and he responds “Now I am, thanks” and then his phone is ringing.
“What’s the matter?” He asks when he picks up because this isn’t like Austin at all.
“Cal,” Austin breathes on the other line. His voice is raspier and even deeper than normal if that’s even possible. Immediately Callum is awake and feels a sharp heat pooling in his groin.
“Cal, please tell me you wanted to kiss me that night. Please tell me you wanted it just as much as I did.” Austin sounds a bit tipsy, not fully sober, and Callum wants to curse him out for torturing him like this. “Austin are you-”
“I’m not drunk, Callum. I’ve had a couple drinks to loosen up but I’m not drunk. I’m just sick of pretending. And I want you right now. I want you so badly, Cal, I can’t take it anymore.”
Callum hears rustling around on the other line and realizes that Austin is touching himself. And at that realization, all bets are off.
“Jesus Christ, Austin, are you touching yourself right now?”
“Yeah” he breathes, his breath hitching a bit. Hearing Austin in this state, it’s something Callum had imagined so often but never thought he’d actually get to hear. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it as he reaches into his pants and pulls his cock out and starts tugging on it.
“Jesus, Austin, you have no idea, no idea how bad I want you. Wanted you for so long, it’s been torture not being able to touch you the way I want to. You have no idea what you do to me, have no idea the things I want to do to you.”
Austin moans on the other side of the phone. Callum is enthralled with how high his breathy moans are, so much higher than his deep voice regularly.
“Tell me,” Austin breathes.
“God, baby, I just wanna get my mouth on you, all over you. Wanna make you feel so good. Wanna do everything to you, with you. Anything you want, baby boy. You’re so fucking gorgeous, Aus. The way you look at me sometimes- You drive me fucking crazy.”
By this point they’re both jerking themselves off loudly, they both can hear the other and they’re both close, picking up speed.
“Wanna hear you, baby. Wanna hear how good you feel, thinking about me there making you feel good instead.”
Callum feels high, drunk, delirious. He still can’t believe this is actually happening.
“So good, Cal. Wish you were here touching me.”
“Yeah” Callum grunts back, he’s at the point where he doesn’t have any words left to use, his mind is fogged by white hot desire.
“Sometimes I fuck myself on my fingers and imagine it’s your cock inside me,” Austin rasps.
And that about does Callum in.
He groans loudly, “Yeah? You want my cock, baby?”, he’s proud that he is able to get that much out in response.
Austin moans on the other end “Yeah, I want it. Want your cock so bad. Been thinking it about for so long, now, Cal.”
That’s all it takes for Callum to come all over himself and his bedsheets. He can tell Austin is close on the other end.
“Come on baby, want you to come for me. Wanna hear you come. Know you sound so pretty when you do, while you’re thinking about having my cock in you.”
Austin keens at that and Callum can hear him finishing on the other end, high breathy moans and gasps filling the space. God, he sounded even more beautiful coming than Callum ever imagined, and he’d imagined it plenty.
“Jesus Christ, Austin, you’re gonna be the death of me,” he says once he gets his voice back fully. Austin laughs breathily on the other end, still breathing heavily.
“Wow, Austin. That was- just wow. So fucking hot. Damn.” Austin laughs breathily again. They’re silent for a few moments, catching their breaths, and Callum starts to get a bit nervous.
“Now what did I do to deserve all that, huh? What provoked all this? Not that I’m complaining,“ he asks.
“Was at a brand event tonight, and this male brand ambassador was all over me. And I’d had a few drinks- I’m not drunk, I promise- and all I could think about was how I did want a man touching me like that. But not him, or any other man, I just wanted you. Have always wanted you, Cal. I- sometimes I feel uncomfortable with male attention, having men wanting me. But you- you’re the man that I want, Cal. I want you to want me. And well, I used to tell myself I was just seeing things that I wanted to see, but I could have sworn you looked at me like you wanted me back that night- That night at the premiere, when you brought me back to the hotel- I could have sworn you wanted to kiss me, even through my drunken haze. The way you put your arm around my waist sometimes, how you touch my face. I love when you do those things, Cal. The way you had your hand wrapped around my entire wrist that night I was drunk- I loved how it made me feel small, protected. I love how much bigger you are than me, how you make me feel safe.”
“What city are you in right now?”
“
Huh?”
“What city are you in right now, Aus?”
“I-I don’t understand what that has to do with anything at the moment.”
“Because I’m looking up the next flight out of London that I can get on so that I can get to wherever you are right now. Now that I know you want me to touch you, I can’t stand another second of not being able to get my hands on you like I want to. What city are in right now, Austin?”
“New York,” Austin breathes.
“I’ll be there by this afternoon.”
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multiversal-pudding · 3 days ago
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THIS-
like, the way I’ve always seen The Fentons is that we kinda also have to account for the fact they’re victims of Being Parent Characters In An Aughts-Era Cartoon, meaning a lot of times The Bit tends to come before The Character in how they’re written most of the time- so like, the fact that we DO have episodes like Maternal Instinct with Maddie being worried about Danny acting different or the parts in Million Dollar Ghost about Jack wanting Danny’s respect/Danny letting himself be caught by Jack just to cheer him up, Jazz calling them out in Reality Trip and them admitting it was partly their fault he felt he needed to hide just. Fascinates me-
Like, this is long before the era of Camilla Noceda and Stan Pines, Danny Phantom was never meant to be fully story driven and the elements we did get were probably fought for tooth and nail, and I really do think at least part of the writer’s team was really TRYING to do a complex “parents as flawed but well meaning characters” story, and while I understand people who see them/write them less favorably I’ve always found the whole situation with them more interesting as a story when you meet them on that level of “they really DO CARE/would fight like hell for their kids and are meant to be sympathetic yet flawed, they deserved character development they weren’t allowed to get/keep” personally (unlike Timmy’s Parents, who can go fuck themselves actually)
(and yeah we also get some stuff like Jack’s behavior in Doctor’s Disorders, but like. Honestly I just file that with the “Danny peeping tom-ing the women’s locker room/Tucker’s
 creepier moments” type moments of “Yeah it happened in the show, but that’s probably more on bad/awkward writing moments/what was considered ‘funny’ at the time despite the fact it Honestly Really Shouldn’t Have Been” personally tbh- like. I like Danny Phantom SOMETIMES/I like the idea of it, but unfortunately it is one of those things with asterisks on some parts-)
Okay but Danny Phantom and Fairly Odd Parents is such an interesting study in contrast
Because while they're both products of their time (ugh the aughts ugh) Fairly Odd Parents shows what Butch Hartman thinks severe neglect looks like, and the differences between the Turners and the Fentons are very clear in that way
The Fentons are silly! They do silly things, like put lab samples in the fridge and weld things at the dinner table. They embarrass their kids and get easily distracted at plot-convenient points. They mess up cartoonishly all the time but they go to such massive lengths to protect their kids.
The Turners? Are mean. They tell Timmy to his face that they don't give a shit about him. They complain about what his being born has cost them. They openly wish they hadn't had him, they ditch him as much as they possibly can, they never listen if he asks for help (which he usually doesn't.)
And you set that next to the Fentons and it's obvious that, while the Fentons are massively fucked up... Hartman never meant to imply they didn't care.
I don't know where I'm going with this, I just think it's interesting
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tinyfantasminha · 2 months ago
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👍
#i went to sleep at 3am and its 6am now bc i criedmyself to sleep 👍👍#sorry to ventdump my annoying insecurities again#i cant bring myself to do something i really want anymore#been having these thoughts since last year but this year its a lot more apparent#ideas are not scarce but the motivation/time to execute them are#i wish i could take an indefinite break on taking commissions bc by the time im finished with all of them im too burnt out/1#to draw for my blog and by the time it passes my motivation for these ideas also vanishes/2#I cant actually stop now bc im still an unpaid internee working for experience+portfolio so I need the money#I feel like shit whenever i can't get art done at the appropriate timing (ex: thematic holiday/character bday/event etc)#everything passes too fast and its already too late and the hype dies#its so hard to stay relevant and charismatic enough#Looking back I can't say im 100% satisfied with ANY art i posted this year#“was it worthy? is it still relevant? did I waste my time doing this?”#im too overly emotional over this (unfortunately) popular fictional lion beastman#“I want to yume/draw him more often/talk more about him!”#why? hes already popular enough. He has louder and more popular users who do that for him. nobody would care if it's you.#you'd get a swarm of hate. nobody would send you nice asks about it.#you don't get nearly half of the asks you used to receive back then. people just aren't interested in you anymore.#maybe you should delete your blog and start drawing trendy doodles of whatever is being hyped up at the moment.#.#if I can't execute original ideas what's the point of it?#I hate HATE having to do trendy art of whatever unfunny meme is being hyped up at the moment#but sometimes its necessary for the algorithm to boost you and to get some actual crumbs of engagement and new followers#what else can I do? being interesting on your own or having an interesting oc is no easy feat. I envy those who manage.
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hanzajesthanza · 7 months ago
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when sapkowski is all “i don’t believe in absolute evil” like he didn’t write like vilgefortz and leo bonhart and birkart grellenort likeeee okkkk but those guys were preeeetty evil though
#likeeee it kind of seems to me that
 they got pretty close. to absolute evil. you know#like uhhh
 nilfgaardian invasion detailed in baptism of fire anyone#though ok ok his point was that there is no absolute evil as in being motivated by evil itself#that evil always has its own motivations and those motivations can be evil but it’s not evil for the sake of being evil#HOWEVER that being said i feel like bonhart really was just evil for the sake of being evil#you could say for the sake of sadism or for greed (him being the anti-geralt lol and actually being a stereotyped idea of witcher ngl)#buuuut i feel like sadism and greed are just niche evils themselves#with vilgefortz and the wallcreeper and also emhyr (didnt mention his ass at first but throw him in too) they’re more just power hungry#and wanting revenge on those that wronged them (interesting because isn’t this also what our protags want—minus the power)#anyways reviewing these interviews again has me 😂😳😌 but also đŸ€š#sometimes i feel like (with this discussion on evil) the economics background really shines through LMAO#like well sometimes i feel like there really is evil that is evil evil. sometimes people are just hateful and targeting with their hate#and you know this yourself bc you wrote it wtf#like you’re not gonna call the human peasants who slaughtered the dwarves and elves in rivia evil? i would call that absolute evil#maybe not their entire lives but in that instance true evil manifested#i feel like the definition of evil im getting at is hate and bloodthirst#which yeah sometimes that exists for no reason whatsoever#i mean it can be based out of economic ‘reasoning’ (manipulated into propaganda) to scapegoat a population and target of hate#but it quickly excels past any reason whatsoever. yeahh i dont think evil always has a motivation outside of evil. disagree#the elbow-high diaries#also ​there’s more context here i’m leaving out bc its just too much to talk about in the tags of this post
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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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spaciebabie · 11 months ago
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you're like a celebrity to me. Is that weird? I put you on the same pedestal that actors and CEOs and stuff other people are put on. Am I normal? Am I normal, Spacie? I hope I'm not
AHAHAHAHHA??? im flattered! i dont think its weird per say, but i am definitely NOT famous. dont put me on that pedestal brah im literally like. just some guy shitting around on tumblr.com/dashboard
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fruitsofhell · 11 months ago
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After finishing She-Ra 2018 I'm trying to work on my unified theory for why CatDora bothers me as the endgame ship. Cause as CEO of mentally ill cartoon women, there's something about it that feels a disservice to Catra's psychology and trauma. She is genuinely such an interesting character to watch because they so clearly lay out the abusive dynamic that informs her entire character, but by the kiss, I feel like they lost steam with it.
The biggest thing to me is the simple fact that Adora is basically a trigger for her. Adora's personality as someone who is constantly self-sacrificing and forgiving is something Catra has a deep hatred for because she believes she is worthless and unforgivable, and when people try to help her she feels they're using her to look better while she fails to get better.
The fact that ADORA herself was the one in that original dynamic that traumatized the hell out of her makes me uncomfortable with how Catra eventually just... stops getting set off by things. I just can't imagine how what happened leading up to their kiss would desensitize Catra enough to that trauma response that she'd be in love with her. Like in that same season she was fucking death gripping the table at hearing Adora's name, and in seasons earlier she straight up like dissociated when people brought up her heroics. Not only the unearned healing, but the "I've loved you all along" feels a bit patronizing to her past. That all her emotionality was complicated romantic feelings, and not... having really nasty childhood trauma.
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