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threepandas · 3 days ago

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Bad End: Loyalties

Did you know? That one of the unexpected benefits to being reborn, with your memories intact, is that you carry your first life's cultural taboos with you? All your knowledge, all your superstitions, every horror movie you've ever so much as glanced at. Like a dowry, brought with you, into this, your new life.

You end up not giving as much weight, to local superstitions. Especially the ones you know are not true. How? Well, sometimes? In the mad, random, overwhelming blur of the Cosmos? You end up in a Reality that to YOU? Was once fiction. Living in a snapshot of that world's history, as it plays out. Just as it was prophesied.

It's kinda disorienting. But? You get used to it.

Though you DO have to make a choice. Quickly. And decide where in that prophecy you want to stand. After all... there are many ways it could go. It WAS a "game". A story of romance. That other's lives would be impacted? That nations might rise or fall? That people could and will DIE? Oh, that is irrelevant! Isn't it?

They are young.

In LOVE.

Obviously, I could not risk my life on such irresponsible grounds. Plant my flag and swear loyalty, to such fickle hearts. I would die. They would get me killed, for their love story. No... No, what I needed? Was something stable. Selfish. Someone who would claim, but would KEEP.

I needed someone who rewarded loyalty. Someone who praised cleverness. Protected his own. Had (and would again) kill any who set untoward eyes upon those who served him. Someone guaranteed to survive until the end. Machiavellian, scheming. A soft and twisting word. Whispered kindly, in so many, many ears.

The power behind whichever throne he chooses.

Most Senior Royal Advisor, Iwamoto Nobutoshi. My boss. Or, really, Master I guess. Boss was for gangsters. Which was still weird for me. Part of me still twitched violently, every time I said the word "master". My brain insisting, it was either a sex thing or a slavery thing, and that I should respond with Immediate Violence at being told to call anyone that.

Yeah... there ARE downsides to keeping your memories. It really is a mixed bag, all told.

But, hey! All those horror movies I've seen in passing? Scary Horror-Terror Stuff I've absorbed through cultural osmosis? Has been really coming in handy, not gonna lie. So has my understanding of what constitutes "psychological warfare" and "mindfuck-y, liminal, torment".

It should NOT be as cathartic as it is? But... not gonna lie. I've gotten weirdly GOOD at this. Learned to become one with the shadows. Sneak into and out of places, I rightfully should not BE. Usually with a bucket of animal blood from a butcher's. Occasionally, if I KNOW they have someone who can test it? I get the bucket from the morgue.

Which? Is gross as FUCK. And disrespectful. But I have to believe they'd be totally down for fucking with some Evil Rich Assholes. Plus I donate funds to their family's anonymously. So I like to think it balances out? Still don't like to do it, though. I feel like the longer I've been here, the more my morals have chipped away...

Where was I? Right! Tonight's "art"!

I forget where that quote was from, exactly? But? It was true. People do not look up nearly enough. Worse yet, most manors around here? Had attics and weird pockets in their ceilings, with easy access to the floors below. I had? Gotten past? SO many patrols this way. So, SO many.

Frankly, an ALARMING number of patrols.

I'd taken to putting traps in the ceiling, back home.

What I was aiming for, here, was the private rooms. Not the hallway outside the private rooms, oh no, those would be patrolled to hell and back. But inside. Plus? It would have that added, spicy, "we can get you where you sleep" fear factor. And? Having their oh so TRUSTED, highly trained gaurds? See NOTHING? Perfect~

Cause? We? Were doing a good ol fashioned "Sins of The Past" Haunting!

The trick, if you don't actually have any good oppo-research available? Is to be vague, yet aim for things you do know about them. Let them fill in the blanks. Such as? The VERY convenient deaths of Lord Jackass's other brothers, which cleared HIS way towards power. There's no PROOF of any wrong doing... but~? Guilty hearts DO tend to tell on themselves~!

Slinking down the rope ladder silently, into the frankly hideously overdecorated room. I got to work. On silent feet, I began to set the stage. Furniture, lifted and silently stacked, around the snoring Lord and his equally unconscious wife. Expensive pottery, covered in a thick and padded bag, before it is struck.

As though some silent blast of power had gone off. Each piece, placed right back where it had been, now broken, on the floor. Next? The most time consuming, but subtle, one. Also the one that would spread farthest as gossip. Using a custom made seam ripper, tear out the eyes of every example of his family's crest on his clothes. On his bedding.

Yes, ALSO on the robe he wore to bed. That one takes very gentle movement. Very nerve-wracking, not gonna lie. You gotta go slow. Once you DO? Good ol "tears of blood." Just paint it right on the cloth, let it stain. As though the crests were weeping.

THEN, you paint the room in nicely vague horror movie script.

"Brother. Why?" "We know. We know EVERYTHING. How could you?" "We are tired of waiting, join us. Join us Brother." "We are witness, a shame upon our blood."

And other such gems! Plus the good ol hands scrambling, covered in blood, to a point in the center of the room. Put a round painters cloth down, and~? Gently sift ash and bone dust (I dried up bones from the kitchens, then ground um! Also great for gardening.) over the floor. Step UP, to my ladder, kit away, grab the cloth, and? Off we go!

Room successfully haunted.

Couldn't happen to a nicer asshole, really. Is it a BIT much? Yeah, probably. People lose their SHIT. I apparently have "a talent", according to my teammates. Which is nonsense. It's all B-grade horror move nonsense and house of horrors gross outs. Visceral ick. But it's NEW here, so I guess that counts? Even if I am plagiarizing the FUCK out of somebody.

Thankfully, though, dispite my "talent"? Master Iwa- ...No, wait, didn't he tell me recently to call him by his name? Uncomfy. A good sign, obviously, but... uncomfy. Don't Like that he knows who I am. I was aiming for, you know, mid rank? Not disposable but pretty forgetable? But now I have a Useful Skill. Have proven to be INTELLIGENT.

Fuck, I even made the mistake of cleaning up and organizing PAPERWORK. You know, paperwork? A thing you would have to READ and MAKE SENSE OFF, to be able to organize? Have to create some kind of workable and efficient system, by WHICH to sort? I thought it was an assistants! Not HIS!

One fuck up is all it takes.

He will find you, he WILL rip the secrets out of you, and yes! He WILL smile pleasantly the entire fucking time! It's horrifying! Kinda cool! I'm pretty sure my life flashed before my eyes! Ha ha... Holy SHIT.

Right, where...? Right! My "talent"! Master Nobutoshi? Big on "right piece for the right purpose". Yeah, you could FORCE people to go against their ideals, their beliefs, their very nature... but you can only do so, for so long. Fear fades. Pain can be overcome. Not everyone fears death.

He regards it as foolish, inefficient, to drag and force and scream.

No, no! He? Oh, he merely... suggests. A softly spoken recommendation. A guiding hand, to show you, the best use of your skills. And if that guidance just so happens to serve his interests? Well... what a wonderful coincidence~ How fortuitous.

Heavy hands get broken. Snapped at and slapped away. But a gentle touch? A little nudge? Sweet whispers in your ear? That tell you what you want to hear? Guide you where HE wants you to be? Well, THAT is so much harder to notice, isn't it. So, SO much harder to fight.

I chose pretty well, I like to think. Because no matter the game? He'll come out on top. Probably laugh, as all the other players, dance to his tune. Who WOULDN'T want to be on his team? His team wins.

And winning? Means I survive.

Dropping off my kit in the shed at the back of the Iwamoto guest residence gardens (where, should it be found, the presence of such things could be blamed on unscrupulous guests), I trudge back towards the servants quarters. I'm tired and filthy. It's the kind of late? Where it's flipped right around to become early.

Luckily, me and my teammates plan ahead, so there is a still moderately warm bath waiting for me. God bless Aiko and all she stands for. For this? I'll even carry her back to our room. Since, once again, she's decided "fuck it" and just curled up on the stack of towels. Doesn't even fit. She just shoved her upper body in the cubby and called it good.

I snort and step over her. Get my fuckin bath. Late night shifts are the worst. But we all take um. I focus on getting clean, grabbing my passed out lump of a roommate, and heading to bed. Fucker drools on me. Snorkels right in my ear. Takashi laughs silently as we pass him, hold the door for me. Seems to be heading out as we head in.

Master Iwamoto's shadow network never truely sleeps, after all.

Always someone doing something.

Dumping us both in our beds, I greatfully pass out. Do not dream. Greet near mid-day as my dawn, ready to start it all over again. Up, a quick bath, dressed and ready to go. Nothing to seem here but us identical servants. We go in shifts. All the better to be as disorienting as possible, to outsiders.

Everyone who looks like each other? Grouped on a shift. Taught to use make up to make themselves even MORE indistinguishable. We pick someone about in the middle, appearance wise, of each group, as the Standard. Everyone is to copy them. For my group, it's me.

I pick up the whispers and news, that have been collected since this mornings report. Second one of the day. At least, second one when we're not on "war" footing. As I walk, I glance down. Technically not supposed to read these, but I'm fairly sure he knows I do at least read the top page. Is amused by it. I'd have seen punishment otherwise. Or removed from delivery.

Oooh~ lookie THERE! How SCARY~☆! It appears someone was HAUNTED last night! By the ghosts of their dead brothers, you say? Angry ancestors, you say? Wife hysterical? Fled to her parents house? Sister, in tears, before the king? Oh my, oh my~!

I struggle not to grin. That would give the game away. Me? Reading something I'm not supposed too? I would NEVER. He he he~

Casually weaving through other servants, I keep reading. Climbing stairs and ducking down halls. Huh. Wait a second... slowing, I step to the side of the covered walkway. Re-read that last paragraph. Near the end of the page? Is something... strange. Not right.

I REMEMBER the Plot.

Made SURE I would remember. Wrote it down, then again and again. Memorized it, like my life literally depended on it, while it was still somewhat fresh in my mind. Because, frankly, it DID depend on it. Even now? Decades later? I can recite it by rote.

So why? Pray tell? Did our blushing Protagonist? Have a BROTHER.

Furthermore, why the FUCK have I not NOTICED this before?

Glancing around, I see far too many watchful eyes, to properly investigate. So I straighten. Pleasant, vague, expression in place. I walk forward. In no hurry at all. Definitely going to deliver these papers. Certainly not delaying in the slightest. Nothing to see here, everyone! Go about, what you were. We are all friends here, RIGHT?

I step into the building at the far end of the covered pathway. Resist diving into the first room available. That? Would be too predictable. I go for the THIRD. One quick grab, slide, and side-step? And~? Poof! Like I was never there. Servant? WHAT servant? These halls are EMPTY. You're clearly seeing things... are you okay?

Immediately, I lift the reports. Well, immediate after a look around the room, of course. Don't want to get CAUGHT. Flipping to the second page, I start reading. What's this about a Brother? What BROTHER?! There IS no BROTHER!

....except there IS.

Somehow.

And HE? Is a very, VERY clever man. One who lived quietly. Like a ghost. After the failed assassination attempt that nearly killed him and his mother. Wait a- ...failed? That sounds...? Familiar.

I have to close my eyes and think, to remember. Lean my head back and let my brain churn. It's... obscure. A tiny detail, mentioned offhand. Single line of dialog, in only one of the routes. Not even the MAIN routes. But one of the Secret ones, that you have to unlock... in the... collectors? Edition? I think? There was that play through video, right? We were eating... a noodle dish of some kind...

Fuck, I can't remember it. Not fully.

But I remember ENOUGH.

I REMEMBER? That it WASN'T a FAILED attempt. That Protagonist-chan's family didn't talk about them. For vaguely plot relevant reason. There was healing and good vibes. Follow your dreams, kids. Buy now. Etc etc...

He... survived? How? Damn it. Doesn't say. But... shit. He's cause a LOT of trouble, isn't he? And it looks like he's kind... railroading his sister into a specific route. That, or keeping her from emotionally cheating on her fiancée. Can't tell. Haven't met her. Looks like he's also patented a few... is that a fucking WHISK? Holy shit. These are all early industrial revolution!

Looking up from the reports, I stare blankly into space. Is... is the Protagonist's brother... ALSO a Reincarnator? What do I do with that? Do I contact him? Say "hello"? "I'm here too"? I thought I was... was completely alone in this world. But of all the places he could BE. Smack dap RIGHT in the middle of all the action?! Holy SHIT.

I'm going to have to think about this. A LOT.

Correcting the reports, I step back into the hallways. Casual as you please. Continue on my way, even as my mind churns and churns. Why is he gathering allies? Why hide for so long? Is he counting on his sister's plot armor to carry over? Or does he have actual military training? He's amassing loyalists. For WHAT?

And the reports said he's searching for something. Seem to suggest that WE are keeping it AWAY from him. What are we hiding? Protecting?

People? Resources? A mine?

I reached Master Nobutoshi's study, in his private wing. The halls quite, as only the most elite and trusted servants were allowed to travel here. Kneeling, I knocked on the door frame, waited to be acknowledged.

Receiving an almost absent-minded acknowledgement, I slide open the door.

Framed by delicately painted screen and thickly stuffed book shelves, Iwamoto Nobutoshi was, as always, the very picture of an elite scholar. Beautiful and refined. Slow and deliberate in movements, as though each had been pondered and found acceptable. I had never met a man more graceful. Not in this life, not in the last.

To my right, the sliding door to the gardens were open. Giving a picturesque view of summer, as it faded into fall. To the left, painted screens. Done by some Master's hand. With a splendid level of detail that still caught me off gaurd, even now. There were birds, in those painted trees! Had there always been? I wished I could look closer.

Nonetheless, I respectfully offered the reports for perusal.

"Right on time. This One had begun to worry." He said as he set aside his brush, smile mild as ever, even as his eyes swiftly cataloged each new discrepancy. There were several. "Bruises. Did the new padding in your suit, not sufficiently protect? This One will be most displeased if we have been lied too. We were promised it would."

No, and that was the thing, wasn't it? My kit? Had never been better. But... I had been damn near ambushed on my way TOO my job. Had to take evasive maneuvers. Do a LOT more parkour then I was comfortable with. Those fuckers had been... persistent. Weirdly so. Which made no sense, since they didn't seem affiliated with anyone I recognized.

"Oh?" The question was less a question and more a flat note of outrage. He held a hand out for the reports, began to read. "How... interesting. They certainly seem to be getting bold. This One begins to wonder. If he has perhaps been too kind, that they would see fit to harrass his-"

An ominous silence fills the room as he cuts off mid-sentence, as his eyes find something on the page he's reading. He has gone utterly still. The gentle curl of smoke from his pipe, wafting around him like the warning trails of a dragon. The deadly hidden embers of a forest fire, flaring up. His pleasant smile had frozen upon his face. Like a mask.

"He certainly does love to push his luck, does he? Make demands, for things he has no right too. Things which are ours." The words weren't even so much addressed to me? As the were a hissed accusation, towards the report in his hand. Someone, somewhere, seemed REALLY dead set on pissing Master Nobutoshi off.

Honestly? That seemed really unwise, but it's their funeral... I guess...?

Master Nobutoshi turns so suddenly I only barely avoid flinching. Jumping like a newbie. He's doing that "pick you apart at the seems" stare again. Looking into my soul. I remain politely deferential, patient, as I wait for him to work through his thoughts. He rises from his desk. Elegant and prowling, as he stalks towards me. Gaze intense, fixated. I... I am missing something.

"Tell me, my loyal little shadow. What would you do? If some... upstart, dared begin to covet, that which was yours? Started panting after your dearly beloved trusted, like a filthy dog? Trying to steal them away? Would you take that? Tolerate such disrespect? I... This One... can not imagine you would."

"You are so very loyal. So diligent. You serve me not for fame or glory, power nor wealth. You ask for so little, offer so much. I would give the world to you. My precious, loyal, little shadow. Forever by my side. No doubt, we shall grow old together. That they would covet you? The audacity is unthinkable."

Soft yet warrior calloused hands, come up to cup my cheeks. And... ah. Yeah. T-That's pretty fucking CLEAR on what I'm missing. My boss? Has a thing for me? Crush? Or... or is it "is in love with"? W-what was that about people coveting?! Hold on! Roll things back a second! What's happening?! I never thought I was blind... about apparently I need a stick and some GLASSES.

Because there is "missed some subtext" and then there's "dude, how do you miss the silent war with guerrilla tactics, right fucking IN FRONT OF YOU?!", so like? Either I was being DELIBERATELY kept seperate? Or... actually? No. That actually sound exactly like what probably happened. An information diet.

FUCK.

Before I could decide how, exactly, I felt about that? The same door I had entered through, opened again. This time sharply and with an audible snap. Dragging urgently along it's tracks and hitting its end, in a way the delicate crafting had never been meant for. I swear it nearly cracked. Alarmed, I spun, breaking free of Master Nobutoshi's hold on my face, to face whoever was at the door.

Aiko.

Shouldn't she be near the front gates? "Sweeping" and listening to gossip for the Shadows? How. Why!? My eyes catch on slowly spreading red. Stark against her... our uniform, she's hurt. Badly. Gripping her side and the door frame like it's the only thing still holding her up. Her face ashy pale and sweating with terrible pain. Eyes determined. Her jaw set in that stubborn, stubborn grit.

"Master. You need to leave. Now! They...!" She wavers, starting to blackout from the pain, before forcing it back. "They've attacked! We're holding them back. A-As best as we c..can! Please! Lord Iwamoto, I BEG you! You must go! If you don't survive this, then everything is lost!"

As if to underline the terrible wait of her words, an explosion goes off, shaking the austere foundations of the ancient house in which I serve. My mind immediately flits and races along the emergency protocols. W-was that one of ours? Did we..? No. No, we would have... DID set up barricades. This is our house. We've already trapped it.

They are the ones who brought explosives.

You don't bring things like those, if you plan to leave survivors. You bring those? When you plan to make EXAMPLES. Aiko is right. We have to go. Now. Heart hurting, I nod to my roommate, one of my best friends, and know that this is it. I will likely never see her again, alive. There are... so many goodbyes, words, I wish I had time to say.

In the look she shoots me? I see the same.

We knew this might come.

Just... just hoped it never would.

My boss's crush can wait. His LIFE is more important. I turn and reach for him, to guide him towards the screens, leading deeper into his wing. Get to him easily. But do not get more then two steps before an arm, like steel, is suddenly around my waist and jerking me back.

Jerking US back. Towards the wall of scrolls and decorative pieces, that sat behind Master Nobutoshi's desk. Startled, my gaze shoots down to see Master Nobutoshi's arm, unhesitating and possessive, wrapped around my waist. There is... a lot more muscle under those flowing robes, then I ever suspected. But-?

I do not even have time to think, to ponder, the question before it is violently answered. The masterfully painted screens, that I had long admired, smashing and tearing as bodies crash through them.

Takashi, dead on the floor, sword still in hand. Around him, his teammates dying, as they still tried to by their Lord even a few moments more, to escape. The large, ever polite Shadow, a man who had been like a brother to me... dumped upon the ground like little more then trash. To be tossed aside and discarded. Stepped over, on some other man's campaign.

His blood mixed with the ruins of the Hunting Tiger screen. Two proud, quietly noble wonders, destroyed. It had been his favorite.

Aiko howled with rage and grief. Threw herself into the fight.

We had been family.

I turned, away, hating myself for it. Knowing it's what they would want. Tears threatened but I could not let them come. Not... not yet. Not yet. There was an emergency exit. Where? Where!? I remembered it. I knew, I knew it! But the grief was muddling my mind, making it slow. Damn it. DAMN IT! WHERE WAS IT!!!??

Master Nobutoshi reached past me. Gripping the hilt of decorative sword, he lifted and drew. It.. it was not decorative. Merely disguised. A masterwork blade. It sang ominously as it cut through the air, entering the scene. Then... a face, breathe, pressed to the side of my head. Like.. like a lover? A terrible discordance, in this already awful event.

"Behind the Three Mountains and a Shrine, My Love. I will be with you shortly."

I froze. The world froze, for all it continued, around me. Distantly... I felt Master Nobutoshi loosen his grip, after... after one last possessive squeeze. Let go. Felt him turn away, as he faced the room. But... but that was... he.... he had....

W-was that? I-Informal? A..And WHAT did he call m-!?

My hand, shaking, found the right scroll. Somehow. Without my numb, panicking mind, they moved dispite me. Somehow determined to keep me alive, dispite my shock. I flicked the right switch. Disarmed the traps in the order they needed to be. And... click. There was the trap door. Our... our way out...

I stared. Blankly. W.. what was I supposed to..? Do?

Was I finally... in shock? That's... probably not good. Bad, actually. I should... should move. There are swords here. It's...? Dangerous? Yes. Dangerous. Bad. I need too... too think. Cry, maybe. Somewhere... not loud. With... with no... no swords.

Stumbling. Stiffly. Like my body was not my own anymore, I knelt. Hands clumsy and far away, I struggled with the trap door. Finally got it. People were... were fighting. Hurting. I... I didn't want to be here anymore. Didn't want to be ANYWHERE anymore. I... I wanted it to stop.

Why? Why wouldn't they all just... just STOP.

Aiko. Takashi. My teammates. Who else? Who else was hurt? G-gone? I was... was supposed to be SAFE. This was supposed to be SAFE. I worked so hard. Compromised and compromised, pushed myself down, and made myself fit. I worked and worked and WORKED, until I had nothing LEFT, b... because this was supposed to be SAFE!!!

I... I was supposed to b-be...!

"Iwamoto!" A voice roared above the chaos and fighting. "Where is She?! I know you're keeping her somewhere!"

Like a lions roar, some primal part of my brain demanded I pay attention. Now. Dragging, with brutal claws, my fragile mind, from its drifting cloud of numbness. One leg already on the steps to the escape tunnel, I turned, and... with horror? Realized I was to blame. For... for ALL of this.

Because? There, in armor, stood the Protagonist's brother. Surrounded by his men, with his sister safely at home, what other SHE could he POSSIBLY mean? If not the one? That ALSO remembers? H...He killed Aiko. Takashi. For THIS?

Monster.

Oh god, he.. he was a MONSTER.

Master Nobutoshi and the Reincarnator squared off. Swords drawn, men at their back. Already, so many were dead. So many I had known. Had worked with. My friends. Just... just pawns, between two powerful men. Dizzy, I realized, they... they hadn't even glanced at them. Didn't even seem to SEE them. Just... just more fodder. For their grand campaigns.

"You know?" Nobutoshi all but purred, as he clashed blades with his opponent. "I really must thank you. You helped me realize, the true worth of the gem I possessed. And, once you're dealt with? I will no longer need to hide her in obscurity. With you dead, little rat, I can finally have her, in every way that matters."

"She'll be a beautiful bride." His grin was a savage thing, full of baring teeth.

The Protagonist's brother raged. A lion, a mountain, and a warlord. Fury twisting what were, no doubt, handsome features into something horrifying. Blade work swift and brutal. How many of my friend's blood? Still painted that blade? Still stained his armor? He dressed himself like he thought he was the hero. He was destroying the only home I had known, for these past decades.

"Pervert! You disgusting CREEP! You think you can just imprison women until they love you?! I always knew there was something wrong with you, but this? This take the cake, you FREAK! I'm getting her out of here! Stopping your schemes! Once and for all!" The Brother roared, something unhinged in his eyes. A lifetime of isolation at last, too much, now that relief might finally be at hand. "You'll never understand her! You CAN'T understand her! Not like me! She was MADE FOR ME! We're supposed to be in this TOGETHER! And I WON'T let you keep me from her ANY LONGER, YOU FREAK!"

They couldn't see anyone but each other, as they fought. Brutal. Savage. Singing blades and madness. Around the room, the two sides clashed. Died. Pointlessly, at the command of their Lords. Sitting at the entrance to the escape route, I could see Aiko from here. Takashi. Both dead, gone, where just this morning we had been joking over our plans for an upcoming festival. We... we were going to hit up the candy booths first. Double back to store our loot. Then enjoy the festivities.

It was a good plan. I was going to pretend... that... that I didn't notice Aiko, stealing all the sour plum candies. I hated them. She loved them. But would never take them if I offered. O.. only fun if she could sneak um. Takashi would save me my favorites. Wasn't much of a sweets guy.

Gone...

All gone.

And for what? Because I "belonged" to the Brother? Because Master Nobu-...no. Because Iwamoto Nobutoshi, picked a FIGHT? All I wanted was to be safe. Live quietly. No plot. No drama. No chaos. Just... just market days and laundry, sweeping and helping make dumplings. Weeding the gardens. Napping with kids and cats. Slowness and the shifting of seasons.

A life, unremarkable.

I looked down into the escape tunnel. Dark, long, and to somewhere unknown.

They did not notice me leave.

83 notes · View notes

ippi2un · 2 days ago

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How I Think The L&Ds Men Would Fart ?!

note: yall this has been on my mind for SO long and its so funny to me omg?!! pls dont JUDGE ME....🫶

Xavier:

THE FART PRINCE 😕

I think his farts would be silent but deadly period

Like sometimes when fighting off wanderers he doesnt even need to put full power into obliterating the wanderer...he can just let a lil gas out and its done for😭

I honestly think he also wouldn't really fart around you but if he did he might be a lil embarassed but I think he wont care after that and he'd be more comfortable

Please avoid him when he sleeps!! Thats when his gas comes out too!!!!! Cover his ass with a blanket!!!

One time you walked into a room he was previously in and you ran out QUICK

Claims that the smell was just his "natural air freshener"🙄

Yeah well it killed a plant in the room.

Idc idc idc but ik this mf probably lactose intolerant ...atleast a lil bit

HELP IDK WHY BUT I FEEL LIKE HE STANDS LIKE BABIES WHEN THEYRE FARTING

LIKE HE JUST STANDS THERE LOOKING GUILTY TRYING TO GET IT OUT😭😭😭😭

Yeah if u see him do that run away 🤍🤍🤍🫶

Zayne:

This decadent delicious man...

I think his farts are average in smell and sound😊

He probably wouldn't fart around you most of the time

I feel like he mastered the art of loosening the rectum just enough for the fart to be silent

Because sometimes...he just has to let it out man!!!😤

Btw hes the type to encourage you to fart infront of him because its healthy to do so

His chair at akso hospital has seen alot...

Btw whenever he eats candy (specifically hard candies that require for u to suck on it),

He would fart more that day bcz of the excess air hes bringing in😭 be careful

I feel like he would also have alot of stomach pain idk why

I can just imagine it...poor him😕!

Pls rub his stomach itll probably help♡

Ngl hes the type to try different positions for farting to see which one will relieve him better

While hes by himself ofc

That would be a sight to see...

If u ever see him do it dont tell him u saw 💚💚

Rafayel:

This mf...sigh

Oh hes crazy. Oh the smell oh the sound

Xavier has some competition...

Sounds straight out of a comedy movie or something

Bro what the hell is wrong w his butt and digestive system???😭🤔🤔

I feel like at first he would REFUSE to fart while youre around him

But as time goes by...he realizes he can use it to threaten u with his fart to get what he wants Like

"Hey dear bodyguard, can you please accompany me at the exhibition today"

"No sorry im-"

"Oh I feel something brewing..."

"NO PLS"

I ALSO FEEL LIKE HE CAN SOMEHOW CONTROL THE SMELL AND SOUND😭😭

When hes feeling a little evil...if he sees a large crowd at one of his art works

He would silently walk behind them and let out a very silent death odor

And then he would watch the visitors from far, FIGHTING AND ARGUING AND BEING LIKE "WHO DID THAT."

Sylus:

😕...

This man.

Has CRAZY FARTS

I feel like the sound would be way worse than the smell though ngl

Very loud⚠️⚠️

Sometimes it equally does smell bad though...Xavier and Rafayel have some competition

This man eats very rich foods so !... very. Filling foods.

He drinks alchohol and alot of that digests oddly/is carbonated/fermented

So hes VERY much getting alot of air

I think he farts the most frequently out of the other 3 boyz 😱😱😱😱😱😱

Also the type to lift up a leg while doing it...😒

I dont think he'd be scared to do it around you but he would prefer not to

Why? So you dont get surprised by the volume

If you sleep next to him he has to clench his cheeks HARD so he doesnt wake u up🤪

Bro you'd think it was a nightmare or someone broke into your house.

EXTRA:

• One time Rafayel was swimming in the ocean and he farted next to a crab. (It passed out) (The crab's family immediately came and tried to pinch Rafayel but were repelled by the smell so they ran away)

• Xavier once saw a skunk and decided to assert dominance by farting next to it. The skunk ran away and hit its head in a tree in the process😆

• Zayne once farted right when his patient entered the room and he was red the entire time and when the patient said "Whats that smell", Zayne's response was "The air ventilation system is getting old." 😭

• One time Sylus was sitting on his couch with Mephisto on the couch next to him, and he farted, and Mephisto slid and fell off the couch because of the vibration + he got broken😒

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sansaorgana · 2 days ago

Text

— DECEPTION (VII)

DECEPTION MASTERLIST

PAIRING — Sauron x fem!Elf!Reader // Adar x fem!Elf!Reader

SUMMARY — Adar prepares his army to march towards Eregion and you start to have your doubts as the guilt creeps in.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — This chapter is a bit shorter but I hope it's okay since the last one was so long. 😘 It's mostly about the Reader starting to doubt her plans and schemes as she realises she cares about Adar and the Orcs more than she'd like to admit it. The meeting with Galadriel will be in the next part because this one would be too long if I included it here. I also didn't want to rush things and start with this scene in this part. I really can't wait for the Reader and Galadriel to interact in this btw...

WARNINGS — forced/arranged marriage, Reader is NOT a good person – she is proud, greedy, fake and corrupted by Sauron, "love" triangle situationship

WORD COUNT — 4,430

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

DECEPTION (VII)

“Your mind seems to be absent.”

Your husband’s voice caused you to stir slightly in his arms. You looked up and met his curious gaze. He was right. Your mind had been absent for days now. You had been reliving your reunion with Sauron – over-analysing every interaction and every word. It was bringing you comfort to know that he was back and that you were assured now that you were truly on the right path to help him with his plans and his schemes.

But you were also anxious about some of his sudden coldness and distance. You hoped that completing his task would grant you the full potential of his love and affection again.

“Mine? Or yours? So fixated on the idea of killing Sauron once again?” You asked Adar, trying to make this conversation about him again. You gave him a soft smile and caressed his scarred cheek with your fingertip.

“You know that I must,” Adar brushed a hair strand out of your face as he looked down at you. You were laying on his chest in the morning as the noises of the outside were reaching your ears – the Orcs were preparing to march again with their army.

“I know…” You sighed. Just like Sauron had ordered, you were trying to convince your husband to march towards Eregion. But you also knew that encouraging him too eagerly would be suspicious. “I am scared of the darkness making its comeback…”

“We are the darkness, though,” Adar chuckled at your choice of words.

“I have not made myself clear enough. Sauron is more than simply darkness. He is true evil,” you explained, a little nervously.

“You have no idea how much,” your husband looked away with a sigh and you hid your face from him as well because you were scared of your eyes betraying you.

In many ways, it was exhausting to deceive him constantly. And it was becoming more and more difficult to lie to him as well. The problem was not to come up with fake stories or excuses. No. The problem was that you were starting to feel guilty.

After leaving Ostirith, Adar was the one who gave you home and kept you safe. And in all of that, he was treating you well. Not just decent – he was truly good to you. As much as a man as rotten as him could.

“I do not need to know…” You whispered softly. “I trust your judgement of him. And as your wife, I shall follow you wherever you go. Even if that is a battlefield that you lead me to,” you added and your eyes met once again.

You could see so much pain in his cold ones when you said those words. Long centuries of suffering in loneliness and now, finally, he had a companion by his side. The adoration towards you was visible in those little, intimate moments.

You wished sometimes that his adoration was enough for you. But you were greedy and he was no half-god like Sauron was.

You walked around the village by Adar’s side and watched the progress of the Orcs putting all of their effort to forge the new weapons and armours before leaving Mordor to march towards Eregion in the upcoming days.

“The preparations are nearly complete, Lord Father,” Glûg informed your husband and then he looked at you as if he was waiting for your permission to keep talking.You nodded at him, softly. “But… we are safe here,” he added. “We have a home. Must we go to war again?” He asked Adar.

You kept walking and glancing at your husband, wondering what he would say to that. You knew he was too fixated on the idea of defeating Sauron completely to give up despite his children’s pleas. But his rotten heart must have been in pain for them – because even yours was starting to feel guilt. Especially when you knew that you were leading them to become Sauron’s slaves. Just like he had intended all those centuries ago.

“You told me Sauron was dead. Let us leave him this way,” Glûg tried to convince your husband and you could see that Adar was thinking intensively about his reply.

“There are some dangers in this world about which it is a father’s burden to know,” Adar answered diplomatically. “And a son’s burden to trust him,” he added and put his hand on Glûg’s arm. “Trust me, my son, when I tell you that we will never truly be safe, until we’ve made certain Sauron is no more.”

You stopped walking just like they did and you looked down as you were playing with the mud by using the tip of your shoe. The very danger they were all so worried about… You were the emissary of it. And they had no idea.

In fact, they respected you. They praised you for being the one who had given them a home. They had forged a small crown for you to wear. They were slowly becoming like your children, too. Well, step-children, surely.

“As you will it, Lord Father,” Glûg nodded his head but he did not sound convinced.

You moved away slightly for Adar to walk past you and continue his walk but you remained by Glûg’s side for a short moment.

“Your Lord Father wants nothing but your safety,” you assured him. “He loves his children more than anything. You have to trust him,” you said. “There are things he cannot say. Like there are things you would not say to your own son either to protect him,” you pointed at his wife holding their baby.

Glûg nodded at you, too. Perhaps he wanted to say something more but his child began to cry, so he hurried to his wife’s side. You, on the other hand, gathered your skirts and followed Adar’s steps.

You reached your hand out to hold his wrist when the scary sound of heavy steps approaching the village reached your ears. You froze while your heart skipped a beat and you turned around as you spotted a huge figure of a hill-troll.

All the Orcs around were staring with their eyes widened and you could not blame them. Hill-trolls were not known to be friends with their kin. And you knew that the troll alone could cause damage around the place, kill some of the Orcs and perhaps even you… if he only wanted to. It would take at least half of this village to defeat him if he decided to attack.

“What is that?” You asked and clinged to Adar’s arm.

“I invited him,” your husband explained to you calmly as he began to approach the entry of the village.

“Without telling me…?” You asked but you let go of his hand. You were too scared to go near that creature. Staying behind with the Orcs seemed like a better idea – and that was saying a lot about how uneasy the hill-troll was making you feel.

The troll was dressed in a net with the skulls of his victims around his waist and he walked inside the village after destroying the wooden entry. Perhaps it was an ugly and obscure construction but it was simply rude to just walk in like that after being invited. He made it clear very quickly that he did not care about any customs.

“Damrod. Hill-troll of the Ered Mithrin,” Adar greeted him in Black Speech. You could finally understand this language after all the lessons your husband had been giving you recently just like you had asked him to.

He walked up to be even closer to his guest but you did the opposite and you took a few steps back, hiding behind one of the Orcs standing nearby. It did not escape your eye that the Orc extended his arm a little as if he was trying to protect his Lady.

“Killer of stone giants,” Adar continued with the praises. “Eater of dragon bones. Welcome,” he stood in front of the hill-troll and for a brief moment you realised that you were scared for him in the simplest and most genuine way.

And yes, of course, if he was killed now, you would be left without protection in front of a troll, although some of the Orcs would surely try to defend you. But other than that, you were also worried because of a different reason – just like every wife would be if her husband stood eye to eye with a hill-troll. You held your breath and squeezed the hilt of your sword even though you still could not fight with it well.

The hill-troll answered by throwing something on the ground. It was a head that rolled towards your husband’s feet. A head of an Orc – one of Adar’s children. You could sense the shift in the atmosphere.

You realised how truly desperate he was to get rid of Sauron but you also sensed amongst the Orcs around you that they trusted him a little less at this very moment. There was betrayal and disappointment at the sight of their brother’s head being rolled as their Lord Father watched. And even though it should make you happy because it would serve Sauron’s plan well in the future… you felt worried instead.

“I gather you received our message,” Adar said as he kept staring at the Orc’s head.

“Where… is… Sauron?” The troll asked and you felt a shiver go down your spine.

You had no idea that your lover had so many enemies. The Elves being against him was something obvious, of course. But to know that even the filthiest and darkest creatures did not like the idea of his comeback was simply concerning.

First of all, it meant that his road to rule the whole Middle-earth would be long and difficult – certainly much more complicated than he had been explaining it to you. Second of all… What if they were all right and it was you who were wrong? If so many creatures of all kinds were scared of your lover becoming their ruler, it could mean that he was more evil and deadly than you knew.

No, you shook that off. It could not be it. They were simply not ready. They were scared of the unknown. Of his greatness, his power and the healing that he would bring. And you would be there, alongside him. You would be his Queen.

You watched Adar welcoming the hill-troll inside the village and instructing others that Damrod would march alongside you to Eregion, which was not taken lightly by anyone. You were trying not to comment because you did not want to argue with your husband in public but you could not wait for the moment when you would be in Sauron’s arms again. Far away from all those filthy creatures – they would become nothing but a distant memory of the sacrifice you had gone through for your lover. Sauron would never require you to be so close to them. They’d be soldiers in his army that you would command from afar.

“I did not want to worry you even further. You seem to be so tense these days,” Adar’s words brought you back to reality as you felt his hands on your shoulders while he stood behind you. “I am sorry for keeping that from you.”

“He is dangerous to your children,” you pointed out.

“Not as much as Sauron,” Adar explained and squeezed your arms. “Be at ease, you are the Dark Lady of Mordor. This is your realm and he is your guest,” Adar reminded you in the Quenya language.

“We are leaving our realm soon and out there we are intruders and invaders,” you answered in the same speech as you turned your head around to look into his eyes. His face was so close that your noses brushed slightly and you felt a shiver go down your spine.

“Let us be,” Adar whispered. “They will never accept us, so let them fear us.”

You could not sleep on the night before marching out of the village, which had been your home for the past few weeks now. The outside was quiet since everyone was preparing for the next day and resting. You sighed and sat up carefully, trying not to wake Adar up while doing so. You grabbed a shawl laying nearby and you put it on your shoulders before walking out of the house.

You could hear the snoring of the Orcs sleeping inside the houses but the hill-troll was definitely the loudest. You took a deep breath in and walked further to the entry of the village where the horses were. For a moment, you wanted to simply hop on one of them and run away from there as far as you could. To run away from your life, the schemes and even Sauron himself.

But you could not. You had already sacrificed so much for him and his plans. You could not stop now. And, when you looked back at the house where Adar was, you also did not want to run away… Not truly. For some reason, your new life was oddly giving you a sense of power and control. When you first had been told you would marry Adar, you were angry that you would become a property of such a man. But you didn’t feel like a property now. He truly treated you like his equal and his companion. It felt… good. Like nothing you had ever experienced before.

So, instead of mounting a horse and running away, you simply walked out of the village and approached the destroyed trees that had been a beautiful forest once – before your very hand had doomed it to die. You took a small walk under the moonlight, which was barely shining through the dark clouds after Mount Doom’s eruption.

And as you walked and walked, you were slowly gaining more and more courage to keep going with your plans. You just couldn’t understand how your heart was able for some compassion and affection even towards Adar – he was the man who had killed your beloved all those centuries ago. Surely, he had his reasons but he had taken your lover from you. He had cursed your existence into a lonely one; filled with yearning and hiding. You could have been the Queen of Middle-earth already by Sauron’s side if he had not been defeated back then. Humiliated, too.

And yet – if someone asked you if you hated Lord Father of the Orcs… You could not say that you did.

After an hour or two, you went back to the village and spotted your husband walking around nervously. At the sight of you, he furrowed his brows and approached you quickly.

“Where were you?” He asked, worryingly.

“I needed a walk to gather my thoughts before tomorrow,” you explained and faked a gentle smile as you put your hands flat on his chest. “Have you been worried about me abandoning you?” You teased but Adar did not smile at that. His eyes filled with sadness once more and you sighed, raising your hands to cup his face. “If I abandoned you, would you look for me?”

“Right after defeating Sauron,” your husband answered. “Killing him is my biggest priority now.”

“Then it is mine as well,” you smiled once more and caressed his cheeks before walking away to go back inside the house.

Adar’s determination planted a new seed of doubt inside of your heart. What if, in the end of this all, it would be Sauron who would be defeated? Everyone seemed to be against him and the only person he had by his side was himself.

And you, of course.

You had been marching with Adar’s army before but it had been a short distance from Ostirith to the villages nearby. It was the very first time you were about to travel so far away alongside dangerous warriors who were about to conquer more and more lands. Although the conquest was not your goal – it was complete destruction. That was the way the Orcs were. It did not matter that your plan was to attack Eregion itself – everything on your way simply had to be destroyed.

Your motivation to keep going was the fact that you were getting closer and closer to your lover, but it was not only that. You would lie if you said that you didn’t enjoy being in charge of the army like that. Of course, technically, you were only a spouse to the leader of it. But in reality, the Orcs would do whatever you told them. So far, it was mostly because of the fact Adar trusted you but you knew that the other factors also mattered for his children. You had been the one to give them home and you were still an Elf even though your light was barely there. In a way, you were intimidating them because you were a beautiful creature amongst the filthy monsters.

Some of the Orcs had gathered their courage to ask you for some of your hair. You had found their question adorable in a way. You had no idea that the Elven hair was precious to their kin as well.

You didn’t hesitate while pulling some of the hairs out of your head to hand it out to the Orcs. And it brought you some twisted satisfaction to see them nearly worshipping their extraordinary souvenirs. They treated them like lucky charms of some sort.

You had even less of the free time now but Adar was still trying to teach you how to wield the sword you had been given. With each day you were getting better and better using it. And one day you even slightly defeated him as he fell to the ground and you had the tip of your sword pointed at his face, standing above him with a challenging face. Some of the Orcs were watching you train and now they were looking at each other, surprised.

“And? How do you find me now?” You raised an eyebrow at your husband.

“Terrific,” he smirked. “You are enjoying this, are you not?”

“How do you know?” You chuckled.

“You enjoyed it when I made the human king bow at your feet. I could feel it,” Adar answered and you pursed your lips. He had absolutely no idea.

You took a step back and retreated your sword. Your husband laughed at that softly and stood up as he grabbed his sword, too.

“You did it on purpose. I defeated you because you let me,” you pointed out, bitterly. “I do not enjoy being treated like a child.”

“That was not my intention. I simply wanted to motivate you. Constant failures have been discouraging you lately,” he explained.

“So, you thought that deceiving me with the fake victory would help me? A lie was supposed to raise my self-esteem?” You rolled your eyes.

Oh, how cruel it was to accuse him of deception and lies. But he was a cruel man, therefore he deserved it, didn’t he? Every time you were feeling bad for him, you were trying to remember that he had killed your lover and how he had been treating all the humans on his way.

You tried to remember that if it was a scheme for something he cared about, he would do the same to you. If not worse.

“Why do you see lies and deception everywhere?” Adar asked. “You see them where there is no need and I bet that where they truly reside, you turn a blind eye,” he looked at you intensely and you froze at his words. “I do not mean to offend you. It was a warning based on my observations of how people often are careless with where they put their suspicions and where they put their trust,,” he quickly added and approached you to lift your chin up with his thumb but you refused to look into his eyes. “I did not let you win to make fun of you or because I see you as weak. I wanted to share my victory with you.”

“The victory was an illusion, though,” you mumbled.

“The victory itself perhaps,” Adar nodded, “but not the sweet taste of it, am I right?” He smirked and you finally glanced at him, a little surprised.

“Why are you so willing to share your power with me?” You asked, genuinely wondering about it. “You are granting me such a gift… Why?”

“Because it is a burden to carry it all on my own. You think of it as sharing. As a gift. But it is not. In fact, I am cursing you,” Adar smiled sadly and pinched your cheek.

“If I must be cursed, gods, let me be cursed with power,” you whispered.

“Why do you want it so much?” Your husband asked. “I carry it in order to protect my children. And you?”

“I want to carry it in order to protect myself,” you answered.

But it was not true. Not fully. You also wanted power and influence for less noble and understandable reasons. For your own pride and your own ego. For all the years you had spent growing up in Ostirith; far away from all the beautiful Elven cities. Forever feeling worse, even when you had finally gone to Mithlond or Eregion to study. You simply could not… fit in. There had been something wrong with you from the day you had been born. You had never carried the light of Valinor in the same way as others. It had been this way a long time before you had met Sauron. In fact, you were sure, that was the very reason why Sauron had chosen you out of all the Elven maidens he could have seduced and lured into his bed.

“The sword you are carrying is more than a piece of iron,” Adar helped you to raise it again. “You must allow it to see you through… You must allow it to see your determination and do not be afraid to show it the depth of your darkness. It is not just a sword, it is a dark magic item. It might appear to you as lighter and easier to wield once you forge a bond with it,” he pointed out and you nodded at him. You knew he was right but you were scared of unleashing all of yourself and pouring it into that sword.

It was too early for your husband to see how truly corrupted you were.

After leaving Mordor’s lands, you had to continue your march mostly at night because of the sunlight. Most of the time you were with Adar but when he was needed elsewhere, you were ending up surrounded by the Orcs and after each time like that, you realised all of the sudden that you didn’t feel uneasy like this anymore.

Whenever you were asleep with the Orcs nearby and Adar being far away, you weren’t anxious anymore about them attacking you in your sleep. Even when you treated some of them harshly sometimes because of their obscene behaviour, they mostly just looked the other way to avoid your gaze. They didn’t love you but they accepted you. And that had to be enough for now. It surely helped with surviving all of this.

You wondered what Sauron was doing and was he truly thinking of you every day – as much as you were of him? Was he feeling bad for you and the sacrifice you had to be making for him? Was he worried about the Orcs hurting you or Adar finding out the truth?

“We have marched into Elvish lands,” your husband whispered to you as you walked through the forest at night. “Be careful now, look around and inform me if you see anything suspicious.”

You nodded at him and adjusted the sword attached to your hip. You wondered what the Elves would do now if they caught you.

You walked and walked for more time, surrounded by the sounds of the Orcs’ drums and war chants. The hill-troll was walking ahead of you and destroying the trees on the way to clear the path for the army. You were bringing fear and destruction to the lands outside Mordor and some part of you truly enjoyed it but you wished it was Sauron by your side already, on your way to conquer the whole Middle-earth.

“Lord Father!” One of the Orcs ran up to you. He was from a completely different part of the formation but he looked quite scared as he brought the news. “There is an Elven woman and she is shooting us with her bow and arrows!” He announced and his revelation was no surprise to you since the Elvish lands had always been patrolled and the Elves were much more graceful warriors than the Orcs, so they often could slay a few alone despite having less physical strength.

In that moment, you began hearing the screams of pain from far away and the fire burning down the road where the Elven woman had to be slaying the Orcs. You exchanged a meaningful look with your husband.

“I will be right back,” he patted your arm and followed the Orc to help his children.

And, once again, you found yourself worrying even though now he would face an Elf and not a hill-troll. And now he had a whole army with him, ready to defend him and to die for him.

Also, now, if he died, you would just lead the army to Eregion and hand it over to Sauron just like the plan was. So, why were you so concerned? You had a new excuse now – perhaps your deception towards your husband was a product of such mastery that you were deceiving even your own self that you cared about him.

Yes, that was a good excuse.

But when you finally saw Adar coming back to you with a serious expression on his face, the relief you felt was the most genuine.

“What is it?” You asked him with a smile that showed up on your face on its own at the sight of him being back and unharmed.

“That Elven woman… We have captured her. She is our prisoner now,” Adar said and you furrowed your brows, wondering why he had decided to take such measures instead of simply killing her. “It is Lady Galadriel.”

AUTHOR’S NOTE 2.0 — Hi, it's me again! 👋🏻 I have already decided I am going to write two alternative versions of the last chapter of this story (do not worry, there will be a few more before that happens) but I am genuinely curious anyway which one of the men you would want the Reader to choose in the end... 🤔 I am asking that now because in the next chapter you might change your mind because of the plot twist... (that probably will not be a plot twist to many readers... but still ...😂).

MASTERLIST

#adar x reader #sauron x reader #annatar x reader #halbrand x reader #lilysfiction

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adinfernumadinfinitum · 3 days ago

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Welcome to my silly little fan theory @emmg:

How Raphael is the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3…

…or how I give him more importance than I should.

DISCLAIMER:

In this ‘dissertation,’ I present my take on things based on Dungeons and Dragons 5e lore from the Forgotten Realms universe, along with fandom theories and headcanons where they suit me. This is NOT an in-depth analysis of anything, so I won’t be reciting specific quotes, etc.

I repeat, this is just MY take on things. If a similar theory already exists, feel free to reach out, and I’ll gladly tag the material!

Oh, and there are a lot of spoilers about, well, everything, so read at your own risk ⚠️

I thank the lovely @bitethedevil for allowing me to tag their posts, making it easier on me so I don’t have to write everything out! I also want to take this moment to appreciate their work and contributions to this fandom! ☺️

Introduction

Baldur’s Gate 3 is a brilliant, complex, multi-layered game filled with multiple villains, heroic figures, and a plot that weaves players in seamlessly. That’s why we love this game—at least, that’s why I do—the gripping storyline and its faceted characters.

The game is set in the Forgotten Realms with DnD lore and rules, while still adding and maintaining its own unique features and twists.

But what if we entirely take a look at it from DnD lore perspective?

Section 1: Raphael as the core character in Baldur’s Gate 3

Fans of the Emperor might argue with me here, but oh man, have you seen how many pies Raphael has his fingers in?

This narcissistic little shit of a cambion plotted his grand design to take the Crown of Karsus for over 2,000 years, planning everything with terrifying precision and putting in a staggering amount of effort—all to manipulate Tav or Durge into giving him the crown.

To understand just how far back his scheming goes, we have to start with the fall of Netheril. As Raphael himself tells us, this is where it all began, and when his father seized the crown, it became impossible for Raphael to obtain it himself.

Baator—the Nine Layers of Hell—has its own system and rules. The plane is aligned as lawful evil, and by its laws, anyone who breaks them is punished; in other words, theft is a crime (don’t try this at home edition).

Am I going to explain the system and rules of the Nine Hells? Hell no, or I’ll be sitting here until next Halloween. Sorry, maybe in a separate post sometime (or not) 😭

So Raphael had to get creative if he wanted to get his greedy claws on the crown.

You can read about how much Raphael’s involvement is actually found in the game Baldur’s Gate 3 here.

What’s relevant for this ‘dissertation’ are the following points, which all show how he orchestrates the plot:

1. Raphael, Vlaakith, and the Astral Prism —

Raphael even plots to capture Orpheus. Not personally, of course, but with the knowledge that it could benefit him and would even serve its purpose in the future. This is a crucial detail.

However, I don’t believe Raphael would craft or have someone craft an item like the Astral Prism, as well as the bindings of Orpheus (the mask, chains, and binding crystals) and the Orphic Hammer. It’s more likely these objects already existed in the Hells, with Raphael profiting by dealing with them.

Sadly there is no official information on that, I really find that interesting.

As for why the Orphic Hammer is called Orphic Hammer - why is Orpheus called Orpheus? He’s a liberator for his people, having inherited the power of Mother Gith, who freed the Gith from mind flayer enslavement. The character of Orpheus draws heavily from Orpheus in Greek mythology, a symbol of liberation, love, and the attempt to rescue a soul from the bonds of death. The term “Orphic” reflects this sense of breaking free from constraints or seeking transformation (of course, it has other meanings, too, but this one feels like what the developers were aiming for).

So the hammer’s name has both symbolic depth and a bit of pun, as it’s intended to free the character Orpheus from his chains.

ANYWAY

2. Raphael, Moonrise Towers, and the Gauntlet of Shar —

The amount of interwoven contracts Raphael has made in the Shadow Cursed Lands is suspicious, and each and every one of them is too , an important point.

Isn’t it just a bit too convenient that Ketheric’s misery plays right into Raphael’s hands? The Shadow-Cursed Lands—Reithwin, once ruled by Ketheric, formerly full of Selunite worshippers but ruined by schemes of the Dark Lady who turned a grieving worshipper of her sister into a Shar follower and leader of an army of Dark Justiciars—is a whole breeding ground for contracts and a stage for Raphael’s play.

Hold on, I’m not implying that I believe Raphael had a hand in Shar’s mischief here, but I do think Raphael handpicked Ketheric, a grieving and obsessed madman (a truly tragic character, honestly), to be an unwitting pawn in his schemes, without directly involving himself. To do this, he contracted with desperate beings like the Architect, Yurgir, and the last Dark Justiciar.

To understand why Raphael would even need Ketheric, we have to look a step further.

3. Raphael and my beloved raccoon boy, Gortash —

Raphael buying Gortash from his parents was a calculated move and the final piece in the Netherbrain plot scheme.

I believe Raphael specifically chose Enver Gortash, a boy with potential, for his plans to get the Crown of Karsus.

Look, Gortash is anything but dumb; in fact, he’s the exact opposite. He learned the ropes in Hell, literally imprisoned in Raphael’s House of Hope. All jokes aside about pot-scrubbing duty and overhearing Raphael and Haarlep getting it on, Gortash is a quick learner.

Raphael just had to watch as Gortash escaped the House of Hope with vital information about the crown. With this, Raphael set up an ambitious, cunning man with the drive to steal the crown.

And this is where Ketheric returns to the picture. Ketheric, the chosen of Myrkul; Gortash, the chosen of Bane; and Durge, the chosen of Bhaal.

As for how Raphael might have gotten his hands on Durge? I’ll leave that as the theory’s plot hole.

I could fill it with headcanons—like Gortash and Durge knowing each other even before Gortash was sold—but that feels a bit far-fetched.

Actually, all of this is a bit far-fetched, but hey, it’s my silly little theory.

But hey again, we’re slowly coming to a conclusion how Raphael is the mastermind behind BG3, do you see my vision?

All Raphael needed was patience. The chosen ones, Gortash and Durge, set the stage by planning the Netherbrain coup and, in stealing the crown, executed Raphael’s plan. All they needed was the third chosen, Ketheric, to carry out the rest of the plot: building the Absolute’s army, etc., the rest we know...

So, what was left? Just someone desperate enough to make a deal with Raphael and actually hand over the Crown of Karsus. And how would he pull that off?

✨The Tadpole Gang✨

Every single one of them fits the bill. Especially if the player chooses Durge.

The next question is: how could he manipulate the group if they were under the Absolute’s influence? Well, that’s where the Emperor comes onto the stage.

Because, hear me out one more time: isn’t it convenient that the Emperor, of all people, finds the Astral Prism? A figure obsessed with freedom and manipulation, ambitious and clever, who would serve perfectly as a kind of protection shield from the Elder Brain’s influence for the gang? And to that even a disposable figure as it is a mind flayer who would not be trusted in the end.

(Naturally, in the game the player is the ultimate executional force, making any kind of higher plan or scheme either perfect or useless)

Nevertheless, this is as far as I will dive into this specific pond.

I just think it adds up nicely.

But Björni, if you have a Section 1, what about a Section 2? you might ask. Well, here it comes…

… how this ‘dissertation’ is actually about Mephistopheles being the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Section 2: Raphael as the Scapegoat

DnD’s lore about fiends—and, specifically, cambions—teaches us that they’re doomed to fail from birth. While they may think they’re in control of their schemes, they’re actually playing into the hands of their fiendish parent.

Ever wondered why Mephistopheles would even bother devouring Raphael if we defeat him? Sure, cambion sons are nourishing (yum yum), but given Mephistopheles’ personality, I’d guess he does it to humiliate his son, even in death, for being a failure—a failure to retrieve the crown for his father.

But wait, Mephistopheles already had the crown—why would he bother plotting all of this just to get it back? Isn’t that a bit over-the-top, Björni?

Bear with me: it’s not officially written anywhere, but it’s more or less canon based on what we know of the Archdevils Asmodeus and Mephistopheles.

Asmodeus rules the Hells, while Mephistopheles, as the Archduke of the 8th layer, Cania, is arguably the second most powerful being in Baator. Mephistopheles has never stopped dreaming of overthrowing Asmodeus, even after repeatedly failing miserably. But if he openly tried to use the crown against Asmodeus, it would be a direct affront, and Asmodeus would have shut it down from the start.

Mephistopheles has other children besides Raphael, and Raphael isn’t exactly useless, he’s actually the complete opposite. Strategically, it wouldn’t make sense to discard such a puppet (call him son)—unless Raphael had done something atrocious. And for someone as mighty as Mephistopheles, controlling his little cambion son would be child’s play. So, then why does Raphael hate his father so much, and why is Raphael ‘residing’ in Avernus?

As we know, Avernus is the armpit of Baator, a plane for exiles and outcasts.

I think Mephistopheles intentionally filled his relationship with Raphael with hatred, so Raphael’s ambition to overthrow his father would ignite and one day serve him. When Mephistopheles got the Crown of Karsus, unable to wield it himself, he set the stage for his son’s scheme—by casting Raphael aside, Mephistopheles set him on the path to steal the crown, with Mephistopheles only indirectly involved in overthrowing Asmodeus. Raphael would do the dirty work—taking over the other layers—before ultimately facing his father, who could then just snatch the crown from him. And yes, I do believe Mephistopheles is arrogant enough to think he’d still be more powerful than his son, even with a god-like artifact. He has that bloated of an ego.

BUT (Nr. 36,252), what about Asmodeus? Wouldn’t he step in and crush the plan?

Here’s the thing: Asmodeus generally doesn’t mind if his archdukes fight for control of their layers, as long as it doesn’t threaten his supreme authority or destabilize Hell’s hierarchy. In fact, he encourages a bit of rivalry and ambition among his archdevils, as infighting serves his purposes.

And can you imagine THE Asmodeus being worried about an over-ambitious cambion?

However, this leads to the TRUE instigator and the true subject of this ‘dissertation’…

… how Asmodeus is actually the ‘Mastermind’ behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Section 3: Asmodeus doing things, just because

Joke’s on you—it’s been about Asmodeus all along, because even if he’d lose (not that he ever would—he’s just that powerful), he’d claim at the last minute that it was his plan all along. Losing trusted allies? What a bunch of traitors—perfect excuse to clean house. Losing Baator? Finally, he was sick of the job.

All jokes aside, Asmodeus being the cunning bastard he is, would likely pull off everything mentioned above.

To understand why he’d even bother, let’s take a quick (really quick, this is already getting too long) dive into his background and shenanigans in DnD.

Throughout DnD’s development from 1e to 5e, Asmodeus has gone through quite the evolution, eventually becoming a Greater Deity, the Embodiment of Evil, and one of the mightiest beings in existence, rivaled only by Ao.

While 5e keeps things vague to allow player interpretation, Asmodeus has consistently been the most powerful entity in the Hells—a schemer, strategist, and supreme manipulator.

(Here’s the only quote I’ll reference:) “[…] His sinister machinations could take centuries, if not millennia, to come to fruition, and his master plans extended across the entire multiverse. His labyrinthine, insidious intrigues could seem inexplicable to most outside observers, for Asmodeus let even his own servants stew in fear of his next move. With all the planes as his board, the Lord of Lies maneuvered the forces of evil like chess pieces in his grand designs, slowly and subtly manipulating everyone from deities to, when needed, lowly mortals.”

He’s described as being a thousand steps ahead of everyone. And while most of his plans serve greater purposes beyond even godly comprehension, some things he does just because—just for fun.

CONCLUSION

Of course Asmodeus knew Mephistopheles had the crown. Of course he knew Mephistopheles would never use it openly against him. And of course he knew Mephistopheles would keep scheming to use it indirectly, bringing his cambion son Raphael into the game.

Why would Asmodeus let all this happen, and why am I saying he’s the real mastermind?

Like already mentioned, Asmodeus often (indirectly) encourages and manipulates his archdukes to scheme and fight among themselves as a means to reinforce his dominance, foster survival of the fittest, and test loyalty within the infernal hierarchy. However, he maintains strict boundaries, and any conflict that risks his supreme authority, disrupts Hell’s role in the multiverse, or leads to excessive chaos would be swiftly and ruthlessly quashed. In Asmodeus’s mind, such rivalries are a useful tool—as long as they remain safely under his control.

In my view, the Crown of Karsus was never a real threat to him; this whole plot served his entertainment, tested loyalties, or helped him gauge his chess pieces.

And that’s how Asmodeus is the real mastermind behind the plot of Baldur’s Gate 3.

Thanks for reading this mass of nonsense ❤️

Why I even bothered with all this shit? It’s one of the key plot points in my longfic, Ah, You Devil!

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tbob-enthusiast · 1 day ago

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My GOD YOUR WRITING IS KILLING ME 💥💥💥💥😭😭😭😭

GODDD the Pacifica section. Listen man, my favorite characters of the zodiac had once been normal faves, like Ford. Now, though? It's the antagonist trio, the Morally Questionable folks, the "we were quite evil during the show's runtime but we are really just kids and we have potential for so much" group

So, needless to say: AAAAHHHHHH

- "Outcast yet above it all". Outcast yet above it all I'm going to explode into smithereens. I'm gonna crumple like a Jenga tower. I'm I'm I'm

HOW WOULD THAT FEEL?! To be genuinely open to ONE PERSON in the whole world, one who actually understands what it's like (outcast yet above it all 😭😭💥💥💥💥😭😭😭😭), to be VULNERABLE and REAL to this one person and then they just... :((

It's lonely here at the top of the world, man, but she had a friend :(. And then, she lost him :((. I take comfort in knowing that Gideon's death will most likely be something that will tie the rest of the zodiac closer together (see Dipper and Paz getting closer, Mabel and Robbie connecting through the mutual anger oh my GOD I love seeing these reactions to grief I love seeing Mabel and Robbie interactions I AM BEING FED SO WELL TODAY THANK YOU), that Paz will eventually move on, and that she'll have fond memories of him. If only my Robbie was the dream god, then he'd visit them in their sleep and tell them that Gideon's fine, and that he glows blue, and that the echo of his voice laughs sometimes, which is nice to hear in the Abyss. Alas. Maybe he'll tell them, if he comes for them personally too...

The ENTIRE ROBBIE SECTION. THE ENTIRE OH MY GOD YOU'VE KILLED ME

ALL OF THIS ALL OF THIS. GOODNESS GRACIOUS MAN. THIS IS LITERATURE THIS IS ART THIS IS THE CONTENT THAT WILL SUSTAIN MY SOUL FOR THE NEXT 300 YEARS

"This isn't some sort of cosmic punishment for Gideon's wrongdoings — those had happened years ago in a throne room at the end of the world."

FUCKING HELL

"[...] For the corpse he had to play dress-up with."

FUCKING HELL

I'M SO FBDJDBAJBWRHWJSBAKANRJE

Your Robbie. He sparks joy, friend, he sparks so much joy in my heart. ROBBIES THAT ARE FACED WITH REAL GRIEF AND HURT AND REACT TO IT IN ANGER >>>>>>>>>>>>

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. AAAHHHHHH

I love his stance regarding the accountability of the town and its weirdness, how he's angry angry angry because it's not fair. Do you see this !?!! Where have I seen this exact same anger before, man !?!! AAAHHH.

I love how he's so freaking angry about the apathy — GOD. I'm comparing them, I have to.

See, my Robbie grew up with his parents. The positively toxic ones, who seemed like the kind of people who'd drop dead if they ever felt a smidge of real human empathy towards the dead. And, like, maybe that wouldn't be an issue, if their son wasn't literally the lord of the dead. So you can guess how he felt, growing up with parents that he loves but who'd also treat his people like furniture. Like objects, like dress-up dolls, like they're nothing more but decoration, like they didn't matter, like they're nothing. If there's one thing my Robbie hates more than anything in the whole world, it's being treated with disregard, condescension, apathy. He cares, a lot, and that's why he feels extra pissed whenever he meets someone who just... Doesn't. (This is the reason why he and his own Wendy have a very rocky relationship nowadays, but that's a story for another time bwahaha.)

So the fact your Robbie shares this trait, this thing where he feels so upset over treating bodies, people, like nothing— it's fun. Especially considering how this should be a point of maturity for them once they realize this behavior, cause like; if they can feel so upset over someone treating a dead person as if they were no one, then why aren't they upset when they see people treat the living like they're nothing? Thompson is right there, you know.

And Stan... AUFHGBDBJFRDBSN

I actually don't have much to say about him because you've already said it all, man. I love your writing and that was absolutely NOT BORING AT ALL I AM SO HAPPY HERE. I'm glad Stan moved on and I'm also so 🥺🥺🥺 over the little remarks about Soos (son) and who I assume to be Wendy (niece 🙏🙏🙏). AUFFBRBJDHD. I LOVE THESE GUYS SO MUCH

teen gideon headcanons because i love him :] i am constantly thinking about him and how he's the only zodiac member (and honestly, only main-ish character because of the book of bill and the website) that doesn't get a sympathetic moment, other than POSSIBLY the finale but that barely counts

i think he deserves to have a SORT OF redemption, at least internally, because he took dipper's advice in weirdmageddon to heart. even if he gets over his crush on mabel (which i think he does. mom said its my canon now) theres still the truth of "people wont wanna be around you if youre a selfish prick"

anyways he makes me emotional so i'm giving him attention

im scared tumblr will kill the quality on my tiny handwriting so transcription under the cut:

after turning like 15, he just starts traveling, gets out of oregon and hits the ground running

uses my headcanon (?) that the amulet takes years from you, and gideon probably won't live past his 20s

he finds this out, has a total mid-life (literally) crisis at 14-15 and decides to do anything "normal" he can do because he doesn't have long to do it

ofc he still has anger issues and obsesses over people and everything else, but he's a lot better at managing it [than] when he was a kid

he doesn't care if he dies with people still hating him, but he wants it to be known that he tried

#I'M LITERALLY THE CAT JUMPING AND CLAPPING RN #ME TODAY #OVERJOYED #YIPPPPEEEEEE

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98chao · 4 months ago

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truly i love all of you and i'm so grateful for all the support i get on my vanilla milkshake posts here because i've just seen the way people talk about vanilla milkshake and mysticao on twitter and its genuinely taken 50 years off my life. now i've been reminded as to why i should never join the crk fandom on twitter

#its not even just twitter but the comments i get on tiktok all the time make me want to blow myself up genuinely #on twitter i just saw a thread about mysticao going like Oh durr how can u ship it after reading ep 4 #and then proceeds to post a reply saying “enemies to lovers is really good if its done well!! but theyre just torturing each other here” ??#so you dont like enemies to lovers then . what do you think enemies to lovers means ??? they just argue sometimes? lol #also wdym “if its done well” we haven't gotten the full lore of the beasts #and its implied that they only turned this way because they were wronged somehow #that + the amount of power and responsibility that having the full soul jam put on them it was literally a recipe for corruption #its not even as if dark cacao thinks mystic flour was just evil to be evil he literally CALLS HER OUT on being insecure #she wanted to create a world without individuality and without personal interests that could lead to harm of others #which i think is heavily tied to her backstory we havent seen yet #imo. this would in fact be enemies to lovers done well #i dont even ship them btw. but i feel obligated to defend it since i just hate ppl who take this stuff at face value #its such a shame that twitter people have the literacy skills of a 1st grader because i would love to post my crk art on there #and make some friends #but if ppl would be like Erm you cant ship shadowvanilla its hashtag toxic and a red flag!!#then like oookay lol whatever man #sorry for the yappathon #txt #not art #discourse

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spotaus · 1 month ago

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New Age AU (Obtaining Killer)

Hey guys! Through with a bot of stuff for the day and I have a sneaking suspicion that this stress headache will not leave me until I finish some projects for work, so I *may* be m.i.a. for a hot second until they stop.

In the meantime, I want to drop this! (Unedited, unrefined, raw off the slab style)

Andddd @ancha-aus and @papiliovolens ! Hello! (Mutzelputz if u see this, the tags weren't working for some reason, I apologize.)

Hope y'all enjoy!

Ccino had convinced him to leave the castle. After nearly a year had passed since his last true public appearance. Since he'd stolen the apple from his brother. Nine months had passed since he'd sent Dream away. He tried not to think about it.

Nightmare had been finding out a lot about his magic. How it made him jittery, and how he felt like he understood so much more. How it made him deeply paranoid, quick to react.

How it made people listen to him.

He figured it was because he was scary now. The negative magic condensed over every inch of his bone wasn't exactly appealing, and the extra limbs which had sprouted from his spine now acted like his own personal weapons. If someone didn't listen, didn't give him an answer he liked, the limbs moved without him even thinking.

It had taken time to learn to better control them. Even now, they writhed in his wake. His nerves expressed through their lashing and twitching as they hovered just above the ground.

The streets weren't exactly crowded.

Upon word of the King's arrival to this small providence, Nightmare had found that many people fled from his path. His travel party of several soldiers, and himself on horseback. He'd always wanted to ride horses. The traitor twin was someone that every citizen wished to avoid.

Ccino had coaxed him outside with promises of fresh air. Apparently there were promising young members of the city guard that Ccino swore would be wonderful future knights. Young warriors for him to bring up loyally under his name, no fear of betrayal.

It had made sense, at the time, but Nightmare hadn't chosen to recruit any of them.

It wasn't to say he didn't want to. Several of the humans and monsters were very talented, and he did his best to give them praise, but he could tell. None of them wanted to work under him. They didn't like him. Rejection and hatred that had pierced him immediately, he could practically taste it.

Ultimately, they would do better here in their hometown. A place they were passionate about protecting, and with people they cared for. Night would not try to mold promising soldiers into his perfect guard. No matter how smart of an idea it may have been.

And so he'd moved on.

Night had visited several smaller shops, onces which couldn't afford to refuse him, and he bought some fabrics, a trinket, some small thing from each place he stopped by. He payed exactly the price he needed for each thing. He wouldn't bribe his people, either. The best he could do would be to remain neutral.

He did discover, against all odds, that he was enjoying this day out. Ccino was, in fact, usually correct about this sort of thing.

The travel had been enriching. Almost exciting. He'd never gotten out of the castle much at all, this was all new and excitingly mundane.

Good things do not last forever.

It was almost sunset when he noticed it. Torches being set up, a platform prepared. A crowd gathering.

An execution, came the mutter from one of his soldiers. Though he recognized the set-up, Night had never been in attendance to an execution. He was morbidly curious. The crowd held such a contempt. A broiling hunger for blood.

He wished he'd wheeled his horse away when a few people were ushered out of a nearby building.

The prison, maybe?

There weren't many of them. Nightmare dismounted his steed, and much to the dismay of the soldiers at his side, he found himself sinking. Into the growing shadows cast by the dying sun.

He re-emerged beside the stage, where the few people were lined up. Ready for death by hanging.

That trick wasn't one that Nightmare quite understood yet, but he was always drawn to feelings of intense negativity. He knew that, now. Something about these prisoners were bothering him, even at a distance, and he found himself more curious as he stood before them.

His guards, at the back of the crowd, hadn't seemed to figure out where he had gone. He had the time, now, to loom over the small group of prisoners.

The city guards, the trained ones, had likely seen him earlier at their headquarters. They did not speak even a word against him as he stared.

Nightmare stared at these faces.

A dog monster, scrappy and scarred, black fur clashing against a few patches of white. One of her ears was missing.

A pair of humans, both men, one with long, curly red hair and another with short-cropped red hair and the beginnings of a beard. Maybe they were brothers?

A skeleton. His sockets dripped with black magic, and his soul was a piercing crimson, just infront of his chest.

A flame monster, small and stout. Their flames a flickering green and purple. One of their eyes had a patch over it.

Nightmare was not great at determining emotions yet. He was hardly versed in his own feelings, but there had been improvement recently. Understanding new emotions had been coming more naturally to him.

Sometimes it hurt, but he was learning.

Now, past the blossoms of a headache, he felt a bit baffled as he subconsciously picked through the negativity these monsters exuded. Their fear. Their pain. Their loss, and their anger.

Oh.

"Only one of you is guilty."

He'd said it without thinking, practically announcing it with a voice that still felt unnaturally deep. A voice which rattled his ribcage and seemed to force past the barrier of darkness around him.

The group before him seemed startled. Confused.

Well, all but the skeleton, who seemed to only raise his skull slightly. As though just noticing Nightmare was there.

"How could you have possibly been jailed in the first place?" He muttered a bit quieter to himself.

He knew, deep down, that there were many, many rules in place for situations like this. Laws which he could challenge. People he could speak to. He could appoint members of his court to each of these people and try to earn their innocence through the rites of the law.

Then again, he remembered the rage of the crowd. The frustration of the people waiting to see these killings take place.

He didn't know what to do.

Now the prisoners, especially the two humans, were staring at him hopefully. He'd managed to shatter the negativity a bit. He believed them. He knew this was wrong.

"I don't know..."

The mutter came again unprompted.

These people would not have the means to repay him for his help. He couldn't just waive fees, or risk his court turning against him. He couldn't afford enemies being made so close to his inner circle.

He couldn't just leave them, though. Not after he'd seen the injustice of it all.

Stuck in his own thoughts, he was drawn out of it by a snickering laugh.

"Just set them free." A voice followed, "You are our King, aren't you?"

Nightmare then found his eyes drawn to the skeleton.

The others had eased themselves away from him. He stood, now, almost alone. He seemed unbothered by speaking up, his sockets held in an almost lazy posture. Tension going completely un-held.

He grinned up as the King, and seemed to watch contentedly as the thought settled in Nightmare's skull.

He could do that. Simply waive their charges. Pardon them. He could do that, surely. Many royals had done it before him for less certain terms. His mother had plenty of times.

"And you are guilty. You'll still be hanged. You know this, don't you?" Nightmare asked.

That was when the Skeleton's lazy sockets seemed to tighten with a sort of glee. Some hidden joke Nightmare wasn't privy to.

"Hmm." This was a poor choice. This was a bad decision. "Tell me, quickly, how you came to be here. Before I proceed?"

Nightmare didn't know why he was asking. He was... curious. Just like he had always been.

Very few people would ever speak straight to his face. Ccino, that was the only one who'd done it since his change. Since the prophecy. This skeleton had done it. He'd spoken when no one else could muster even a plea.

The silence he seemed to bring to every room. Broken, just briefly.

The skeleton stared at him a moment.

"Name's Killer, your majesty." The tone was mocking. "A while back a buddy of mine got into hot water, and I decided to help them out. Now, plenty of bodies later, I'm the one stuck on death row."

Simple. An admission of guilt.

Nightmare stared at him some more.

Finally, it seemed his frantic guards had noticed him. Found him. They rushed to his side, though not as fast as he would've liked. He could feel the frustration seeping from each armored body around him.

"You don't have an aversion to it," Nightmare voiced, "Killing, I mean."

Killer nodded. Unashamed.

It felt strangely calm, still. Perhaps it was because the crowd was still chattering. They likely hadn't noticed Nightmare at all.

The king turned to the city guard, still stood on the steps. "Free these four people. My judgement decrees them as not-guilty."

And, before any time could pass in the slightest. "Killer, I would like you to accompany me, before you abscond."

He'd noticed it. Killer had undone his cuffs before their conversation. Completely freeing himself from his weak imprisonment.

Killer seemed amused at the concept of sticking around to chat.

"If you would, I would like to recruit your services at my castle. I need a man who is willing to kill. And kill swiftly." Ccino said to establish an image. It was obvious now that his reputation would remain in the gutter, no matter what choices he made. He was not Dream.

Killer's sockets narrowed.

"And what would I get for being your little hunting dog?" Again, it was bold. It was new.

Nightmare was sure his expression hadn't changed since he'd come before the group. That same angry glare that sat permanently along his skull. The magic had an image to project.

His tendrils flicked, slightly.

"Payment, room, Fresh meals, and any other amenities you may like, so long as it does not break our treasury." He replied, "All I ask is that you simply obey me. And Me alone."

Not true. He'd probably ask for him to listen to Ccino as well. Once he knew for certain he'd stay.

Killer seemed to be thinking. He eyed they king, up and down. He looked to each of the guard around the king. The ones who were back in position now, though Nightmare could feel their annoyance. Their confusion.

Then Killer turned.

Then he turned back.

"Mm. Can't be worse than the ol' noose." Killer replied. "Funny way to run a country, my king. Hiring the first murderer you spot?"

Nightmare didn't humor that with a response. He was honestly shocked the skeleton had even agreed.

Though, all of that negativity had been swapped out for a glee. Something deep in Killer had changed during their brief interaction. A hope. Night could barely grasp the edges of its existence with his subconscious. But it was there.

He ignored the crowds as they grew confused. He ignored the worry pouring from the criminals as he had them released and informed them of their pardon.

He did not ignore when his guards told someone to keep their distance. He glanced up. Killer was standing beyond the guards, looking bored.

Nightmare, trusting fool he was, didn't even ask a guard to watch him to ensure he stayed put.

"Stand down." He ordered the guard, who begrudgingly allowed the skeleton to smugly slip past.

His tendrils kept the monster at a distance Night preferred all on their own. He seemed to take the hint.

"They're all gonna be dead by morning, you know." Killer voiced easily.

Nightmare turned to him, confused. What did he mean by that? He'd pardoned them?

"Are you deaf? The crowd wanted us dead, especially me." He chuckled, "Leaving them here is definitely going to get them killed. If the crowd doesn't rip them apart the second you leave, then it'll happen at night. There will be no witnesses."

Oh... Night hadn't fathomed that these people could turn on the innocent once declared. It hadn't even crossed his mind. Did they have a home to return to? A family they put at risk?

The noose was a fast death, but being murdered? That would've been so much worse.

He could tell, by the way they evaded looking at Killer, that he was right. Nightmare would be sentencing them to a new sort of death if he did it like this.

But he didn't have time for a trial. Or several. The sun was going down, abd Ccino expected him back. The castle needed him present, or they might revolt.

Someone might hurt Ccino.

Oh, he was such a poor ruler. He did not know his people well enough. How he lamented the lessons Dream had taken about crowds and current issues abd how to be likeable.

Night didn't know how to handle this. He was still learning!

A trembled in his hand. He tucked the limb quickly away from where it had been lightly clutching his tunics thick fabric, now hiding it beneath his cloak.

"Killer is right. It won't be safe here, for any of you." He spoke. Thank the gods it didn't sound as shaken as he felt. "I extend an offer to you all. You may stay here, or you may come take up positions among my staff back at the castle. Unlike Killer, I do not expect any crime from you, but you will be paid and housed."

The offer was met with a roar of frustration from the crowd, Nightmare chose to allow his guards to handle it. He watched, carefully, as the four looked between eachother.

The brothers agreed first. (They introduced themselves as brothers as they knelt in thanks.) Then the Dog. She said she had no family left to watch over, starting a new life would be for the best.

The flame refused, saying they would leave town by morning, and try to stay safe.

And so, Nightmare left the town with four new party members. Each had been provided a horse, each tied to one of the guards. Aside from Killer, whose steed was held personally by Nightmare.

He figured Ccino would chew him out for this, for bringing criminals into the castle when he was sent to collect soldiers, but Nightmare had a good feeling about these ones.

They did not hate him. Or fear him. He was helping them. And it felt good.

#hoping this posts. i put it into drafts first...#new age au #Night is a little poorly written here. but I promise it's intentional.#i love making the narration feel just as displaced as the character it's followinh #also. might write smth for Killer's pov of this because I can promise you #90% of it is “this loser has no clue what the fuck he”#'s doing“#in a mix of awe and amusement #and he 100% started with ulterior motives and ended up having a change of heart because of the whole #him sensing vaguely that Night was a weird paranoid kid still #OH #and that odd bit in the middle where Night is doing stuff isn't fleshed out very well #but it's meant to be a show of Night making sure his presence is known + gauging how people react to him being perfectly normal #and more importantly #he lost track of his plans. he's actually not supposed to be doing that. he's still a kid and he wanted to explore!#mm #okay #one more note #Nightmare takes those people back with him right? his castle staff is like 20% people from before and 80% people he freed from #unlawful situations or took in when they had nothing #the public sees it as him taking in shifty #evil criminals. but really? these people look up to nightmare because they were at their lowest and now have stable lives + homes and even #families sometimes #it's just cool #inside the castle is a lot safer than outside #even tho Ccino is still the only one who prepares Night's meals I think a good hunk of the staff would maul anyone they found w/ poison in a #mile radius of the kitchen.#raughhhh #okay fr last thing #I love Killer :] Him being the first is so important to me and I think he deserves the happiness ever

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