#it might not be relaying how I would actually like it to but oh well she’s pretty regardless

[heavenlyraindrops]

The Devil Made Me Do It | Arcane | Silco x Reader | Chapter Two

also available on AO3 and Quotev | visit the first tag to find all chapters | warnings: pre-s1 (for now), profanity, child adoption. Please like, comment and reblog to show support! <3

summary:

In the midst of an unfortunate run-in with the enforcers, you meet the young revolutionary Silco, and by extension, his friends Vander and Felicia. Growing close friends, you get through life in the undercity together, determined to make Zaun a better place. Until tragedy strikes, and betrayal and carelessness stabs hard enough to turn you bitter. Years later as time solidifies the scars, Silco proves to be a thorn in your side. You, in his. Hatred festers. And your world cracks further open.

Chapter Two:

You didn’t have anyone.

You were looking for company.

The Last Drop was loud and rowdy- just as you’d expected of a bar. Although you didn’t go to many very often.

You pushed through the crowd, resisting the urge to shrink in on yourself and instead holding your head high, setting your jaw. You’d made it to the counter, and you firmly planted your hands on the wood, pushing yourself forward to catch the bartender’s attention.

The burly man looked at you, and came over. You had to raise your voice to be heard.

“I- uh…” you looked around, words suddenly lost.

“What’ll it be?”

“Silco…”

The bartender stared at you. “What?”

You pursed your lips. “I’m looking for Silco. Would he happen to be here? By any chance?”

The bartender raised an eyebrow. “He didn’t tell me he had a lady friend.”

“A lady- what? No, I’m just an acquaintance. Is he here?”

The bartender shook his head, letting out a chuckle which was drowned out by the din of the bar. “He’s a close friend of mine. I can tell him you were looking for him tomorrow. Any message you want to relay?”

You thought for a moment. “…Not really. Although-“ A smoke on the rooftop would be nice. “I’d rather talk to him myself, actually.”

The bartender raised his eyebrow without another word, and nodded. “He always hangs around here in the afternoon. Has nothing better to do with his time, the man,” he joked. You made yourself laugh, and thanked him.

You squared your shoulders. “And while I’m here, I suppose I might as well get something. So, uh… gin and tonic, please. Without the gin.”

The man looked at you rather askance at your peculiar request, but didn’t say anything as he served up a glass of tonic. You smiled thinly, looking around at the establishment as he wiped down a glass.

“So how do you know Silco?” He asked you.

You turned your head towards him. You didn’t expect him to start conversation. He looked at you with a glance of curiosity.

“I don’t,” you say. He frowned.

“So how come you’re asking for him?”

“Well, I mean- I do know him. We met yesterday.” You took a sip of the tonic, and it took  the bartender a moment to realise you weren’t planning on elaborating. “How do you know him?”

“He’s pretty much my brother,” the bartender said simply. He extended a hand, and you shook it. “I’m Vander.”

You nodded slowly. “…Vander.” You thought for a moment. “I’m [name].”

“Nice meeting you. Stop by at four tomorrow, will ya?” He watched as you downed your cup and set it on the counter, tossing him the money and nodding.

With that, you left the Last Drop.

-

You found Silco sitting on the steps outside the Last Drop at four in the afternoon the next day. He looked up at you, and you raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“Silco!” You gasped. “Oh, uh, what are you doing here?”

A languid sweep of his hand brushed the hair out of his eyes. “You asked for me.” He said, voice sounding bored. But there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

You scoffed, shuffling your feet. “Hardly asked.”

“You were looking for me.”

“You told me to stop by!”

He stood up, dusting off his clothes. “Indeed I did. Lonely, are you?”

“As I’ve said already,” you muttered, following him as he made his way through the street. Before long you’d both found yourself on a rooftop, a cigarette in between you.

“Who’s Vander?”

“He’s like my brother.”

Wow. 

“Right.” You looked out across the streets. “Did your… business from last night get…resolved?”

He nodded, a small smirk playing at his lips as he thought back. “It did.”

“And you're sure it wasn’t a prostitute.”

He scoffed, as you giggled at his reaction. “I’m sure.” He turned to watch you laugh, back pressed against the rusted tin as you laid back, and blew a steady stream of smoke into the air.

And then he sighed.

This became a usual routine. One or the other of you would find each other on the rooftop, and would sit there talking until one person had to leave. He wasn’t half bad company, you realized. And sitting there against the sky and smoke felt nice. It was nice to have someone to talk to for reasons other than necessity or business.

One day on a walk home from an errand, the dark blue of the night sky creeping behind the clouds, you heard whimpering from an alleyway. You froze, unsure of what to do. Run? Stay? The sniffling picked up, descending into sobs. 

You burst into the alley.

A little girl, scraped and bloodied, stared at you with wide glassy eyes. You looked back at her.

“What’s your name?” You asked gently, crouching down and wiping the tears and dirt from her bruised face.

“Alice,” she choked out. You felt a tug at your heart, a painful wrench that was hard to ignore. You swallowed a lump. 

“What happened, Alice?”

“Th-they… my mommy…” she started trembling again, and you exhaled slowly, hushing her. “They took her.”

“What about your daddy?” You whispered, carding your fingers through her mousy brown hair.

She raised her head. You followed her gaze.

Piltover.

You lip curled in disgust. Some Piltie must have had an affair with a trencher- a Zaunite, and wanted to get rid of the evidence. No doubt. You gathered the girl in your embrace.

You could hardly support a child, let alone take one in…

“The men were following me,” she told you.

“Let’s go,” you replied. You could hardly support a child.

“Where?”

“Home.”

-

You found him perched on the roof, and climbed up to meet him.

“Silco!” You hissed. He looked at you, frowning at your expression as you collapsed in a heap next to him.

“What’s wrong?” He grabbed your shoulders, eyes welling with concern.

“Silco, there’s a girl. Her father’s from Piltover and they had her mother killed and they’re after her, and I found her and I have no idea what to do with her-“

“Shh, calm down.” He stopped your exhilarated rambling short, and leaned back, taking a moment to think. You watched him, unable to speak.

“Well, if you can’t raise her…”

“I’m not leaving her to die,” you said sharply.

He looked at you skeptically. “And what exactly will you do then? Can you even afford to raise a child?”

“I’ll figure something out.” You sounded unsure.

He looked at you tiredly. “[name]…”

“I’m not leaving her to die,” you said with finality.

He looked at you silently, then nodded. “I’ll… I’ll help where I can.”

You flushed. “You don’t have to.”

He took your hand, and shook his head. “We’re friends.”

You flushed deeper, and looked away, taking a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”

He looked at you. “What?”

“I’m sorry, all you’ve ever done is help me and all I’ve done is… steal your cigarettes.”

At this he laughed, but one look at your face and he realized you were being serious. “It’s not like that.”

“But it is.”

He fell silent, and you knew he couldn’t deny what you had stated was the fact. But then he spoke. “You give me company.”

You laughed. “That’s it?”

“I don’t care about the enforcer chase, or the cigarettes. You know if I didn’t want to be around you I wouldn’t bother. So stop saying random shit and just…” he took a deep breath and dragged his hand across his face. “God, you’re insufferable sometimes.”

Despite the insult, your insides glowed, and you smiled. “Thank you, Silco.”

“Did you just hear me? I called you insufferable.” 

You nodded, still beaming. “Thanks.”

He scoffed, a small smile on his face. “You idiot.” He took out another cigarette, and, as usual, you held out your lighter. He looked at you, and passed you the lit cigarette to have first.

“And you’re sure you don’t consider me as charity work?” You said before a long drag of the cigarette. You passed it back to him, and he stared at you, confused.

“What? I- of course not.”

“Why are we here then?”

“You’re my friend. You were looking for me that day, remember?”

“You immediately decided we were going to…” you waved your hand around. “Whatever this is. Hanging out. What if I wanted something else?”

He rolled his eyes, blowing out some smoke. “What else would you want? I told you to come find me if you wanted company.” He jabbed the cigarette in your direction. “This is company. And I believe we just talked about this?”

You ignored his last comment. “Well, why are you keeping me company?”

He laughed. “You’re my friend. And I get bored too, you know.”

“You have Vander. I’m sure you have others.”

He suddenly looked at you piercingly. You squirmed. Had you said the wrong thing? But then he shook his head slowly, visibly relaxed. “Right, but none of them are…” he stopped himself, face turning slightly pink. “What I mean to say is, it’s nice to know some other people.”

You leaned close and gently prised the cigarette from his fingers, and he looked up at you. You grinned, then placed it in between your lips. Inhaled. Took it from your lips. Exhaled. He blinked as the smoke billowed in his face.

“Thanks,” you smiled. He looked away, miffed. 

“We won’t talk about this anymore.”

“‘Course.”

“You know my answer.”

“I do.”

[0m3n-0f-d3ath]

💥Shiva Yvaine

My beloved dnd character thinking about how she misses her wife💥

[homunculus-argument]

When it comes to high-context and low-context cultures, where one has the expectation of people understanding specific subtle nuances of what someone says, and the other has the expectation that everything needs to be explicitly said to be understood, I've heard plenty of people from low-context cultures ask "why not say what you mean and mean what you say then, why would you have to speak in riddles?" about high-context ones, like people of the latter type are just being cryptic and esoteric on purpose.

But culture does not consist of things you do on purpose, it is just the way things are done where you were raised. And when you were raised in a high-context culture, the thought of needing to explicitly state something instead of using some phrase or expression that you've learned to use comes as a culture shock, too. It's not "fuck you for not correctly understanding my riddles three", but "oh shit, I hadn't occurred to me that I would need to say that out loud."

The first time I went on a business trip to the US, my partner came with me, and we immediately discovered that he does not fare well on long flights. So when my publisher asked me about future trips, inquiring whether my partner would be coming with me, I asked him. He said that he would, if the flights weren't such a problem - he would need to travel in some way where he could get his feet up or lay down during flights, like business class or first class. Being also a finn, I understood what he meant and relayed the message as is to my publisher, not considering that they might not.

To both of our surprise, they started to actually look for first class tickets for us.

Finnish culture is a high-context one, people don't talk much and aren't very confrontational. Being demanding and putting someone else into a position where they're forced to be upfront or demanding is rude. And in finnish, saying "this would only be possible if these entirely absurd/completely impossible conditions were met" is a polite way of saying "no". You are simply explaining why something cannot be done, without either saying an explicit "no" or seeming like you're making up excuses. It offers the other party an opportunity to agree that these conditions cannot be met, so neither party will come off as confrontational or demanding.

Both me and my boyfriend considered it self-evident that the request was absurd, and could not be read as anything but a polite way to decline. It had not occurred to me that an american's natural response to "it would be impossible to do this" is to start figuring out how to do it anyway.

[moonsaver]

How do you think Ratio would feel if someone else at the college in a position of power yelled at student reader and made them cry? Like when he scolds you, it's tough love and he means well, but when other people do it they're bullies?

Ohhhhohohoboooooooohhh...

Okay, if we're talking about veritas normally as a professor, he's not having it. I mean, he won't regardless of his station, but still.

He views his own scolding as simply relaying the absolute truth to his students – he believes no one else can lay the bare truth to his students more than himself, and it's his duty to do so as your educator. His scolding is harsh but never cruel – it always pinpoints your weaknesses, and when you actually listen and do as he says, you realise just how right he was. He's not the type to use his students as a punching bag for his own ego.

He's also a bit understanding of other educators scolding their students – truthfully, they see you most often as a student than anyone else, and are the only ones who can possibly help you with your weaknesses. However, he can't help but feel like it's brutish whenever another educator scolds their students as harshly as he does.

He already has semi-strong opinions on other professors or authorities scolding their students normally. So when he sees you being yelled at and used as a punching bag for an authority who wants to tend to their bruised ego? Oh please.

He doesn't fear immediately stepping in and teaching them their own lesson. He asks them what their problem is in a monotone, unimpressed voice, but if looks could kill the person would be mauled. His eyebrows are nastily furrowed as he glares them down. Veritas is not fearful of positions of power nor authority. He seeks for the truth and practicality, and from his perspective, they lost all credibility and any ounce of respect he had for them the moment they decided yelling at a student was logical in order to convey their grievances.

He gives them a good dressing down with their own words. You're probably standing behind him while he deals with them. It's not too soon before some or the other disciplinary action is taken about them. As for you.. Veritas isn't exactly sure, but he's compassionate when you really need it. Pulls you along to somewhere more secluded and hands you his handkerchief, advising you to take your time but to also collect yourself soon and head home if it's the end of the day.

Even if he's also just a professor, he won't be sitting back and staying idle about such behavior. Especially if it's his students they seem to have a problem with. He hopes you'll be fine until tomorrow for the lecture. Pats your head and assures you it will be taken care of and that you may further relay any other issues you have about them to him.

Until then.. he makes sure to clean up every nook and cranny of that authority figure. Anonymously collects any other complaints about them from other students who might have faced the same experience as you did, and practically drops the bomb when there's a feedback meeting of some sort. Makes sure they're fired or some or the other disciplinary action is taken regarding their behavior.

[patscorner]

CHAPTER ONE: BUY-IN

pairings: paige x oc

contains: pining, angst

word count: 2,575

a/n: okay, one chapter in. let me know what you guys think, my inbox is open. also let me know what you might like to see, the outline isn't set in stone. school has started so it might be a bit before the next chapter, but it's coming. enjoy!

My palms sweat as I dial the familiar number, one I’d memorized by heart. It’d been far too long since I’d called her, and I don’t really have a reason, so the bullshit ‘I’ve been busy’ excuse will just have to do.

=======================

JUNE 2023

“Hello?”

I clear my throat in an attempt to swallow the lump that magically appeared. “H-Hey, Azzi, uh-it’s CJ.”

“Who?” My heart dropped to my shoes as my brain scrambled to pick up the pieces of one word.

“I-uh..”

Azzi chuckles. “I’m just messing with you. What’d you need?” I let out a breath as I rub my head.

“Oh my god, I actually hate you, holy shit.” I laugh.

“Apparently, since it’s been, what, like three months since we’ve talked.” I could practically hear the eye roll.

It’s really not fair for me to ignore Azzi because, really, she hadn’t done anything but be my best friend.

Our best friend.

And maybe that our was the problem. Maybe that combination, the unity of the word, and everything behind it was a mistake. Maybe, letting her etch herself into the scrolls of my heart, so much so that the ink bled together. Maybe the missed cue of when mine became hers, and hers became ours, was poor oversight.

Maybe letting Azzi become collateral damage was where me and her went wrong.

I laugh it off, ignoring the pang it sends to my chest.

“Yeah, well, I have to mentally prepare myself to lose brain cells. Can’t let it fuck up my game.” I respond, earning a laugh from the brown-haired girl. There’s nothing like the nostalgia a sound can bring you. The memories and feelings, all hidden behind a single noise.

After she gathers herself, she sighs. “So what’s up?”

And suddenly, I remember why I’d called.

“Yeah, uh, there’s something I kinda wanted to talk to you about, before you hear it somewhere else..” I say, picking at my earlobe nervously.

“Ooookay… Is everything okay..?” her voice relaying softer through the phone.

I nod. “Yeah, it’s nothing bad. Or, at least, I don’t think..” I fall silent for a moment. This couldn’t be as bad as I’m making it seem, right? Right?

“Either way, I’d just rather talk about it in person.”

Azzi hums. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. Where do you want to meet?” I consider my options. I’m only in Minnesota to visit my family for about a week, and it’d take another day to get to Virginia… I would be back in time to move into my dorm. It’s inconvenient but doable.

“I could drive up to you in like a week, I’ll just meet you at your house.” I mutter thoughtfully.

“Wait, are you in Texas or Minnesota?”

“I’m about an hour out from Minny.” I answer, slightly confused.

“Oh, I’m here with Paige and the boys. We’re actually headed to the fair soon. You could meet up with us if you wanted.”

“Shit…uh, I didn’t think about them...” I mumble.

That’s a lie. Truthfully, every time I think of home, memories of the blonde flood my mind instantly. But then I’m reminded of what she’d done. How she ripped herself out of my chest like velcro, instead of carefully detangling herself, ridding herself off all strings attached. All for someone else.

For someone who used to be mine.

“Hello..? You still there?”

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. Uh, th-yeah, that’s fine.” I sigh, quickly trying to recover.

Azzi sighs through the phone. “Look, I still don’t know what happened between you two, so if you don’t want to come-” she amends.

“No! No, okay, sorry. I- just gotta change my clothes…” I say, biting my lip as I lie through my teeth. “I’ll just meet you guys there?”

I could practically hear Azzi smile. “That sounds good, just call me when you get there.”

After we say our goodbyes, I hang up. I groan as I throw my head back.

I’m always up to a challenge, but the thought of going and having to function around her, after all she’s said and done; after she’s ruined us before there even was an us, that might be more difficult than I’d thought.

It’s not like I have a choice, though. I’m gonna have to learn how to be around her every day, especially when the season starts.

_________

“Drew, bro, if you spray me with that shit one more time, I swear to god, I will beat your ass.” I glared at him as he hid behind Jose, who put his hands up in surrender. I should not have bought him that water gun.

I rolled my eyes as I turned back to Azzi, who kept looking around, then back at her phone, repeating the process. I kicked her in her shin. “Ow! Paige, what the fuck?” Azzi complains, rubbing her leg. “Who are you looking for?” I say, glancing around.

She looks back down at her phone. “Nobody. Just people watching.” I scoff. “Bullshit, are we being spied on, or what?” She shakes her head, looking up around once more. “Okay, bro, what’s going on? Who’s ass do I have to beat?”

Azzi rolls her eyes at me. “You couldn’t beat Ohio, let alone anyone else.”

I sit back in shock, putting my hand on my heart as I feign offense. “Okay, their defense was so unexpected. You can’t even put that on me.” She shrugged, looking back at her phone and standing up. “Where-”

“Bathroom.” she mutters. I watch as she practically sprints away. If only she did that shit in practice. I shake my head.

I open my phone and begin mindlessly scrolling through instagram, ignoring the thousands of times I’ve been tagged in pictures that I’d taken with fans today. Suddenly, I freeze.

It’s a post by the official UConn women’s basketball team. It’s a picture of CJ in her Texas jersey, the number 43 on the front. Her hair is in her signature bun, hair slicked back carefully, as she drives towards the basket. The caption reads “Welcome CJ West!”

What the fuck?

I’m in such a state of shock that when Azzi comes back, I don’t notice the figure next to her. I glance up at her, then back at my phone. “Yo, Azzi, have you seen this?” I look up at her again, and this time, I let my eyes flick to the person next to her.

CJ.

Forgetting what I’d just seen, my jaw drops as I take her in. She’s just as beautiful, if not more, as she was the last time I’d seen her. She’s wearing a basic casual outfit; a plain white crop top, paired with blue jeans, and gold jewelry that always makes her hazel eyes seem brighter. Or maybe that’s just how they look naturally.

“Oh, shit.” I whisper, clearly in awe. She rolls her eyes.

Fuck.

“Hello to you, too, Paige.” Double fuck.

That fucking voice.

I clear my throat, trying to recover. “Hey, CJ.” I breathe. The lighthearted air is swallowed by suffocating tension as I make eye contact with a stranger.

“Oooookay…” Azzi says, clearing her throat. “This is about as awkward as I’d thought it’s be…” she mutters. CJ looks at her. “I told you.”

I look between them. “What’s going on?”

Azzi looked at CJ expectantly, gesturing to her to speak. CJ rolled her eyes and huffed. “I-uh, I have news.” CJ glanced between Azzi and I. She cleared her throat as she picked at her earlobe, a habit she’d picked up when she was younger. I’d always hold her hand to stop her, and I want to do that more than anything right now. I think I’ve lost that right, though.

“I’m transferring to UConn.”

My eyes flick to Azzi’s who’s jaw drops. “Really? How-Why?”

CJ shrugs, trying feign carelessness. “Better environment, Texas heat ain’ my thing.” To the normal eye, CJ’s behavior could be seen as normal. But to me? I see the way her eyelids flutter, the hesitation behind her pretty lips, and the way her eyebrows raise just slightly. She’s a good liar.

Just not good enough.

I don’t say anything, though, not when she gets dragged away by Drew and Jose, not when Drew practically begs her to stay and hang out with us, and certainly not when she’s sat in front of me on the ride Jon chooses. I don’t say anything when the boys get swept away, and it’s just the three of us, like it always used to be.

It’s only when Azzi goes to the bathroom, leaving us alone for the first time in years that I say anything. “Try not to kill each other, please.” She orders as she scurries to the restroom.

It’s silent for a moment, and I can almost see the relief on her face when she thinks I’ll hold my tongue.

Unfortunately, I’m nobody’s peace.

“How long are you here for?” I ask, stuffing my hands into my black cargo pants. She looks up at me. “Uh-just for the week, gotta move outta my dorm, and it’s a long drive, so.”

I raise my eyebrows. “You driving on your own?”

CJ nods. “Yeah, I’ll just sleep in my car or something.” I shake my head. “No fucking way, bro, you serious? That’s like a twenty hour drive.”

She crosses her arms. “So? That’s how I got here.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not goin’ on your own.” I say. Truthfully, I knew she’d be fine on her own, but something about her driving back to Texas, just to go back to Connecticut, doesn’t sit well with me. I’m only concerned for her safety. Or at least that’s what I decide to tell myself.

She scoffs. “What, you’re gonna come with me?”

“I could, if that’s what you want.”

“That’s the last thing I want.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“It’s not. Didn’t even wanna see you today.”

I turned to her. “Seriously, dude?” She looks at me. “Yes, seriously.”

I roll my eyes. I know I hurt her. I know I fucked up. But that was three years ago. We were kids. I was eighteen. I can legally drink now. It’s been three years. How can someone be upset for that long? “You gotta get over it one day.” I say before thinking about it.

I regret it when I see a flash of hurt on her face. “Get over it? That’s easy for you to say, Paige.” she spits out harshly.

Ouch.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I say, even though I know exactly what she meant. “Exactly what it sounds like. You get over shit quickly.” She shrugs. Her nonchalant tone pisses me off more than the words. I take a step towards her. “I didn’t ‘get over’ anything. There was nothing to ‘get over’. You were just jealous-”

“Jealous?” She interrupts incredulously. “Paige, you stuck your tongue down her throat!”

“And that pissed you off. Hence, jealousy.” I shrug.

“You were my best friend! It’s not fucking jealousy, it’s betrayal!” She practically yells, taking a step closer, our toes almost touching.

“I didn’t betray anybody! I was drunk! She was drunk! And I apologized afterward!” I say, trying to ignore the way her scent invades my senses.

She laughs dryly, taking a step back. “Right, you’re right. Yeah, an apology fixes it all.” I blink. “Really?”

CJ stares at me. “You’re a fucking idiot.” she says, and the only emotion I can pick up is anger. “I know.” I whisper.

Just then Azzi comes out of the bathroom, looking between us. “Everything okay?”

“Yep.” We say at the same time, and Azzi raises her eyebrows. “Aaaalrighty then… Can we find the boys, I’m ready to go.”

I nod and begin to walk behind Azzi, but I don’t miss the way CJ looks at me. I’m no expert, but if I know one thing, it’s the gaze of someone who’s been heartbroken.

I know because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it every time I’ve looked in the mirror for the past three years.

__________

“There’s no way you’re driving to Texas by yourself.” Azzi gapes from the corner seat of the booth. Jose convinced Paige to drive us to some random diner. She’s so easy.

I roll my eyes as I take a sip of my sprite. “Bro, you sound like Paige.” I grumble.

“The fact that I’m agreeing with her should tell you how fucking stupid you sound.” she said. I look at her in shock as Paige throws her head back, cackling.

Fuck.

That stupid fucking laugh paired with that stupid fucking smile makes it so fucking hard to be mad at her. Maybe I should let it go. It has been three years…

No.

Instead of entertaining the thoughts, I opt for kicking her shin instead. “What do you think that says about you, dumbass.” She immediately shuts up, and I roll my eyes as Jon almost spits out his Dr. Pepper.

“I’ll have you know I was AP player of the year.” She defends, eyebrows furrowed. I raise my eyebrows unimpressed. “Still holding onto that, huh?”

Azzi laughs, and Paige shoots her a look. “Can we get back on task, please?” That seems to direct all the attention back to me. “Driving to Texas? All on your own?” Paige says.

“Yes. Did y’all forget how I got here? I didn’t fucking speedwalk.”

“Yeah, but you’re gonna go to Texas, spend, what, two full days staying up late and packing up three years of your life, and then driving the… twenty-nine, thirty, hour trip to Connecticut?” Azzi reasons.

I blink. “Well, when you put it like that..” I mutter.

Paige rolls her eyes. “Dude, just let us come with you. We can drive you there, so your car isn’t sitting in the middle of nowhere-”

“Isn’t your car in Storrs?”

“And we can switch drivers. Stay at a hotel halfway there, and then drive the rest of the way the day after.” She finishes, ignoring my comment. Before I can answer, the waiter comes with our food.

As he sets the plates down, I look at Paige, just taking her in. She’s wearing a plain black hoodie, with some red, white, and blue shorts on. It’s not much, but she could be wearing a trashbag and still be the hottest motherfucker around. It’s almost disgusting how effortlessly gorgeous she is.

I wouldn’t mind having someone to help me get to Connecticut. It’s a long drive, and it should be an easy yes. The truth is, when she looks like that, and acts like this, and talks the way she does… I don’t know how I’m going to get through the season, let alone a road trip.

I watch her lips as she says a thank you to the waiter, quickly averting my eyes when she looks at me. When the waiter leaves, I look back up and roll my eyes at her poor attempt to hide her smirk. As much as I wanted to wipe the smirk off her face, driving alone to Texas sounded dreadful. Plus, Paige has an okay music taste. Might not be that bad.

“Fine. You guys can come with me to Texas.”

Azzi smiles, clearly satisfied. Paige grins like a madman, clapping her hands. “This is going to be fun.”

I roll my eyes for the upteenth time tonight.

What the fuck did I just get myself into?

=======================

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[piningforstan]

Memories

Part One | Part Two

Summary: You’re relieved to see your husband alive, but you have yet to learn at what cost.

Pairings: Stan Pines x F!Reader

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: memory loss, it’s a bittersweet fic (let me know if there’s anything else)

A/N: I could honestly stay in this story forever. I hope you enjoy! (If you don’t think the small attempts bits of humor are funny, just do me a favor and pretend like they are)

Life moved on, of course, even though it felt like yours had ended. The town needed rebuilding. Newspapers and media outlets needed to be dealt with — Ford recommended telling reporters that there had been a series of animal attacks. But most townsfolk just wanted to forget. The lasting effects of the memory gun meant they preferred to just pretend like nothing happened.

You busied yourself however you could, clearing fallen brush and trees, reuniting families, making do with whatever food you could find and cooking for anyone who hungered.

And when you weren’t focused on resurrecting the infrastructure of Gravity Falls, you focused on doing it for your family. Dipper had withdrawn inside himself. Mabel practically resided in Sweater Town. And Ford largely made himself scarce as he puzzled out ideas for getting Stan’s memory back. So you invited Dipper to join you for nonsensical errands and you laughed your way through Mabel’s favorite movies and you always made sure that Ford had something to eat.

You had time for everyone, it seemed, but Stan.

He floated along the edges of your day to day life, suspended in a state of limbo — wanting to participate but not knowing whether his presence would be tolerable or not. And you didn’t want to provoke his already weakened mental state so you let him be, an observer to a family that he had been the nucleus of.

“Oh, uh, mornin’.”

You were sitting at the kitchen table, staring at nothing in particular when Stan shuffled in, donned in his boxers and wife beater. It ached to see him how you had so many other mornings. Perhaps that’s why you avoided him; to do so was easier than confronting this pain.

“Stan. Good morning.” You sat up a little straighter. “Coffee is made already.”

He grumbled his thanks. You noticed that he grabbed his favorite mug, one Soos bought him that stated WORLD’S GREATEST FARTER, without thinking. There were small, fleeting moments like this that made you believe that he might regain his memory. But they often slipped away, just like Stan clearing his throat and saying, “So, uh, we’re married?”

“Yes,” you said, inhaling sharply. “Thirty years.”

Stan wrapped one large hand around the mug. He let out a whistle as he reclined back on the counter. “No offense sweetheart, but that doesn’t speak highly of your intelligence.”

You can’t help it. You croaked out a laugh. “No, no it doesn’t.”

“How’d I do it?”

“Do what?”

“Keep ya around for thirty years.” He gestured in your general direction, veritably flustered. “I don’t need to ‘member much about myself to know you’re too good for me.”

“Well, you could be very convincing,” you supplied after a moment of consideration.

Stan scoffed. “Bullshit. What’s the real reason?”

You eyed him, then said in a resigned voice, “A wife can’t testify in court against her husband.”

A beat of silence ensued, followed by the loudest belly laugh of anyone you’ve ever known. Stan clutched at his chest, coffee spilling over his mug and onto the floor. He all but wheezed out, “I knew it!“

“It was my idea, actually,” you said, smiling fondly at the memory, “we had only gone out a few times when it happened. You wanted to make a run for it. Even though we hadn’t known each other long I already knew that I didn’t want to go a day without you. So we got hitched at the courthouse and the case was dismissed on account that I was the only eye witness.”

You were surprised to discover that relaying the story brought you more comfort than sadness. It fanned the dying ember of hope inside you.

Stan processed this information. “What was the crime? Must’ve been bad.”

“If I told you ‘stealing my heart’ would you believe me?”

“I’d believe you’re a shitty liar.”

Stan pestered you for an answer but you staunchly refused to give it to him, if only to prolong the conversation even more. Eventually you lapsed into a comfortable silence, but after thirty years of marriage, you knew that Stan hadn’t given up, rather reconsidered his angle. It wouldn’t be the end of that conversation.

Only the dredges of your coffee remained but you sipped it every now and then, taking the time to study Stan when you didn’t think he noticed.

Did he realize that he remembered more than he thought? Like the mug, for instance. The way he stood. How he moved around the kitchen. How much did the memory gun erase? You read once that memories consisted of just the last time you remembered something — a great portion of your life would pass without recollection. But the feelings stayed the same. You might not remember specific moments of your mother being kind to you, but when you looked at her your chest swelled with affection for her.

Was that how Stan felt now? Wading through residual feelings and sentiments without the memories to attach them to?

“Listen, uh.” Stan rubbed the back of his neck. “I know this is weird ‘tween us. But I-I hope we can be friends. Still. If you want.”

Hopefully your expression did not betray the stab of pain in your heart. “I’d like that.”

Apparently, rebuilding your friendship with your husband meant him “Stan-napping” you.

“If it’s Stan-napping wouldn’t that mean you’re the one being —”

He flapped his hand. “Shhh, shhh, shhh.”

You grinned and slid into the front seat of El Diablo like normal. Gum wrappers scattered the ground at your feet, along with a lighter and several cassette tapes. You inserted one, faint rock music playing from the radio. A laugh escaped you. “Remember when —”

You stopped. Stan smiled sadly.

“It’s a’right. Promise. Tell me anyway.”

And so you did, retelling the story as best as you could in detail. Stan listened intently as he drove, interjecting his own comments and questions, laughing at all of the parts you knew he would. The tape had played on repeat during a week that you spent running a con in Arizona. An unsuccessful one at that.

“You really did all that w’me? Now I really don’t trust the likes of ya.” Stan drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the door with his elbow out the side.

“In my defense, I was always more of a reluctant volunteer.” You focused on the trees flying past, silhouetting Stan’s handsome features and his easy smile. “But I would follow you anywhere.”

It’s an embarrassing admission.

You stumbled over your words, but Stan was quick to cover for you. “So I didn’t need to Stan-nap you?”

“No, but I’m still glad you did.”

“And to think, all of the work I put into it.” Stan feigned clutching his chest in indignation.

You snickered. “By all of the work do you mean withholding caffeine from me until I agreed? That was more of a hindrance than anything. I would’ve said yes much faster with coffee.”

“Noted. Anything else I should know?”

“I can also be persuaded with chocolate.”

Stan mock-glared at you. Whenever he spoke, he used his hands in big gestures, emphasizing whatever point he was making. “Wait, wait, wait. Chocolate? What happened to followin’ me anywhere?”

“I’m just saying it helps,” you told him.

For the duration of the ride you regaled him with whatever tale that came to mind. Eventually the trees thinned out and the lake came into view, water shimmering. An outcropping of cliffs hugged one side of the lake, extending an almost natural awning over the small hut Stan parked in front of. Picnic tables dotted the sparsely grassy area and families darted in and out from between them, children laughing with sticky faces and parents chasing after them waving napkins.

“Ice cream?” You climbed out of the car, the door swinging shut behind you.

Stan watched the children with soft fondness, making faces at them as they passed. Together you walked down the worn path to the counter manned by a pimpled teenager.

“Ford said I should do things I used to like to try and jog my memory,” Stan said. He peered at the menu — 107 flavors! it boasted — instead of meeting your curious gaze. “He, uh, told me we used to come here.”

“We did.” Your throat felt thick.

He had kissed you for the first time on that picnic table over there, when dusk had settled and fireflies lit up the night around you. You had been sitting on the table with Stan slotted between your legs. His mouth was cold from the ice cream but soft and sweet tasting, dancing across your tongue. You never cared for mint before that day.

When it was your turn to order, Stan persisted that you deserved a senior discount. The teenager caved, leading you to roll your eyes as Stan put his change in the tip jar only to draw out more than he put in. He took the first taste of his mint, double-scooped cone and winked at you.

“You’re insufferable,” you said with a laugh.

“He made it too easy,” Stan replied. “Sucker.”

You sat down at one of the empty tables. No one approached you but they cast glances in your direction, undoubtedly interested in the hero of Gravity Falls. If Stan noticed he didn’t say, challenging you instead to an ice cream eating contest until one of succumbed to brain freeze.

Stan had a voracious appetite, as did you, and you won out in the end. Stan, as a result, had to jump into the lake with his clothes on.

“Wait, before you go.” You couldn’t hide your amusement as you leaned up on your tiptoes and wiped ice cream from the corner of Stan’s mouth. Your thumb lingered. Recognition flashed in Stan’s eyes, then disappeared as soon as it appeared. Had you imagined it? “Um, there.”

“Thanks, kid.”

A moment passed between you, the span of a few heartbeats, before Stan braced himself. He yelled, “TELL MY STORY!” before racing off towards the shoreline of the lake. You doubled over with laughter as his youthful sprint soon turned into a hobble, the wind carrying Stan’s curses back to you. He collapsed on the sand mere inches from the lake.

Concern worried the edges of your mind. You called out to him, “Stan? Stan!”

No response.

You smiled sheepishly at the townsfolk observing the whole situation, then trotted after Stan. Upon inspection he was still breathing, one hand draped on his chest. The sand crunched underfoot as you stood over him. “Did you die?”

“Maybe.” He cracked open an eye. “Does that make you an angel?”

Your worry vanished. Staring up at the sky, you searched the clouds for an answer about why you still put up with this old man. “No use flattering me. This doesn’t hold up your end of the deal.”

“Yeah, yeah. Gimme a hand, would ya?”

You reached down for his hand, but instead of meeting yours it clasped around your wrist, pulling you down on top of him. You cried out in surprise. The water lapped at the pebbled beach, soaking through your clothes as Stan caged you with his body and rolled you both into it.

You shrieked in protest. Entrapped in his arms, he hauled you out into knee-deep water. It was no use trying to fight against him, though you gave your best effort. He could’ve held you like that all day and you knew that when you twisted to face him, it was only because he let you.

Somehow you winded up with your hands on his chest, his shirt plastered to his skin and revealing a glimpse of the body beneath. The moment reminded you of how young Stan made you feel, still blushing over him. He never treated you as if you were old or frail and you might as well have been in your late twenties again, when you first met, not a crease or wrinkle in sight.

Stan cleared his throat and the spell broke.

You removed your hands and stepped back, already missing the warmth of his proximity. In an attempt to ease the tension, you quipped, “I won’t forget this, Stanley Pines.”

Stan’s mouth twitched into a smile, eyes soft. “Neither will I.”

Stan assured you that evening that the outing had roused a memory, but you knew that he just wanted to console you. It didn’t matter. You were determined to recreate as many memories as possible, some alone, others including Dipper and Mabel. Great fun was had by all but you could tell, sneaking glances at Stan whenever he looked away, that it wasn’t registering.

Dipper and Mabel’s last days in Gravity Falls were swiftly approaching. It was a general consensus in the Pines household to pretend that this was not happening.

“You know, you could go with them.”

Admittedly, while watching Stan entertain Dipper and Mabel with an outlandish story, you forgot Ford was sitting beside you. The sinking sun created an orange glow over everything, glinting in Ford’s glasses as he waited for your answer.

“Who?” You asked, distracted.

“The kids.” Ford made a flippant gesture towards them. “Back to Piedmont.”

“Oh.” You hadn’t given any thought about it. It was, after all, never your plan to leave Gravity Falls. Was Ford trying to get rid of you?

Ford continued, “Just…I see the way you look at Stan. I know it hurts that he doesn’t remember.”

“It does.” You grew a sudden interest in the fray of your jeans. For the kids you put on a brave face, recreating memories with enthusiasm, but in truth, each one that failed was a stake through your confidence in Stan's memory.

“My theory might be incorrect. Or just an outlier in Stan’s case,” Ford added with afterthought, never the one to admit failure. Unlike you. “It doesn’t seem he will ever recover his memories.”

“We can’t give up, though,” you said, voice wavering with emotion.

Ford’s jaw feathered. So much of him reflected Stan down to the last detail, but with an air of superiority that Stan lacked. “Stan told you about Stan-o-War.”

A statement. Not a question.

“Yes.” Irritation raised under your skin like an itch you couldn’t scratch.

“I want to take him out. On a boat. Explore the world like we promised each other.”

“What boat?”

“I have one,” Ford vaguely promised.

“What about The Shack?”

“We can leave it to Soos. Assuming that you go with the twins.”

“Why would I do that?”

A lull happened in the conversation as Dipper and Mabel exploded in uproarious laughter at something Stan said. You suspected Ford was gathering his words. “I’m afraid that if we carry on as we have, the stress on Stan’s mind will break it completely. We need to face the music.”

“I’m not giving up on him,” you gritted back.

Ford heaved a sigh. “I’m not suggesting that you do. I don’t think you ever would. But we have to do what’s best for Stan.” He put his hands on his knees and pushed up, his shadow falling over you as he stood. “Just think about it.”

And think about it you did. A lot.

You still hadn’t come to a decision a week before the twins left. Ford informed you that he planned to surprise Stan after they left, leaving you with the decision of staying with Soos or going with Dipper and Mabel. Could you just…up and leave?

Reportedly, their parents were looking for help; from what you understood, a divorce lingered on the horizon. It brought comfort to you to think about caring for them during a tumultuous time. Not to mention you couldn’t stand the thought of not seeing them every day — but to gain it at the risk of losing Stan?

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Stan strode into the room, dapper in his Mister Mystery suit. Your cheeks heated. Too many times you had been caught this week lost in your thoughts. “Oh, I —”

“No, seriously. I need a penny.”

You opened the register. He proceeded to take said coin and spin some elaborate tale to a group of tourists about how it had been crafted from a rare alien metal. Stan sold it for “only ten dollars” after pretending to meditate on the offer, chuckling as the unsuspecting tourist walked away.

He tapped the money into his sleeve. “Okay, but really, what’s eatin’ at ya?”

“I’m just sad about the kids leaving,” you told him after a pause, which wasn’t a complete lie. Unable to bear the flicker of sadness across his face, you panicked, racking your brain for something else. “We should…throw a going away party for them.”

A party? That was the last thing you needed to concern yourself with. But Stan had already latched onto the idea.

“Hey, that’s not a bad idea. We could promote the Shack, invite their friends, exorbitantly mark-up entry tickets.”

Stan listed each idea on his fingers. Although you regretted suggesting it, it filled you with warmth to see him invigorated by the notion of a party. You couldn’t steal that away from him now.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise to you that Stan was an expert party planner considering he was the life of one wherever he went. He got to work assigning roles and soon after you were hiring a caterer (Greasy Sue’s), a DJ (Soos, who insisted you call him despite being in the same room), and security (the man you only knew as “the one with the tattoos”).

The more you inquired, the more people wanted to participate. It opened your eyes to how much the Pines family impacted the town over the last few months. It was heartening, to say the least.

And by the time the party started, everyone in Gravity Falls was either attending it or volunteering at it. Everywhere you looked there was someone you knew, someone there to celebrate the people you loved most.

“You think they were surprised?” Stan’s booming voice floated over the music.

Strobe lights flashed overhead, casting him in an array of colors as he parted the crowd to your side. Dressed in dark slacks and a deep v-necked shirt, gold chain nestled in a patch of chest hair, Stan cut a perfect image of himself in the ‘70s. And although the outfit invoked memories of a younger man, you found this older one much more preferable.

“Definitely,” you replied.

Stan leaned down. “What?”

“I said definitely!” The music blared, pulsing through the whole building like a living thing. It didn’t help that Mabel and her friends had acquired full access to the speakers that Wendy’s dad lugged in earlier.

“What?” Stan wrapped one hand around your waist and pulled you in, putting your mouth dangerously close to his ear.

Heat flooded you. You yelled, “Let’s go outside!”

“Lead the way!”

To your pleasure and mortification, Stan removed his hand from your waist just enough to rest on your lower back, steering you through the crowd of partygoers. The cool night air was a balm to your heated skin as you stepped onto the porch.

Stan strayed from you long enough to shoo away two people kissing passionately on the couch — Blurbs and Durland— before patting the spot next to him for you to sit down.

“Are we old or is that music too loud?” Stan asked. He fished a cigar from his pocket and lit it.

You were entranced by the smoke curling from the end, the fixture of the cigar resting against his bottom lip. You swallowed and uncrossed your legs, then recrossed them.

“All that matters is that the party is a success,” you said.

Stan chuckled. “Heh, it is, isn’t it? Little twerps didn’t know what hit ’em.”

A small eternity passed in which you hunted desperately for something else to say. Stretched out above you on an inky canvas, the stars shone, rendering you small and insignificant. You stared up at them as exhaustion claimed you. You were so tired of thinking, of inventing conversation, so you said the one thing you knew to be irrefutable.

“You’re a good man, Stanley.”

He guffawed. “Don’t let anyone hear ya say that.”

“It’s true.” Since that day at the lake you had been careful not to touch him, but now you put your hand on his knee. “You’re a good man. What happened doesn’t change that. Your memories do not amount to your character.”

The corner of his mouth quirked, and you could tell he was fighting a swell of emotion. “I wish I could do better. Everyone has these…expectations of me. I dunno how to live up to them. I want to be that person.”

“You are that person, without even thinking about it. You’re still passionate about your family. And you’re clever and brave.”

“I’m, uh, not complain’ or nothin’ but I can see the disappointment in your eyes. And-And not just you. Everyone.” He took a drag from the cigar, chest expanding with an inhaled breath. Stan blew the smoke out slowly. “I’m a stranger in my own life, ya know?”

Ford’s words, his expression grim, emerged: We have to do what’s best for Stan.

Tears sprang to your eyes but you willed them away, swallowing until your throat no longer felt quite as thick. It wasn’t fair to push Stan to be someone he couldn’t remember by clinging to a past that only you knew.

Maybe Ford was right.

Maybe the best thing for Stan was to shed the weight of these expectations and carve out a new existence for himself. He would be thrilled to explore the world with his brother — who might as well have just been introduced to him considering the time they spent apart.

There was no room for you in this new life. You knew he could never look at you without thinking about his shortcomings, even if they existed only in his mind. You were standing on one side of a chasm, yelling at him; Stan on the other side, but he was too far away to hear you.

“Well that got depressing.” Stan stubbed out the cigar, ash crumbling. He stood and held his hand out to you, eerily reminiscent of how Ford had last week. “C’mon, dance w’me.”

He looked nervous to ask you this, which dumbfounded you — you would do whatever he asked. The quiet observation made you smile.

You took his hand and allowed him to pull you back inside, a sense of bittersweet finality settling over you as you did.

The party prevailed. People were drunk on the cheap beer and good company, cheeks reddened, smiles wide. When Soos played a string of throwback songs, Stan animatedly swung you around the dance floor, surprisingly graceful for his age and size. Every touch and graze seared through you, and Stan’s gaze lingered on you in a way that heated your core and stole your breath, his dark eyes glinting with customary mirth.

A particularly enthusiastic move spun you nearly into the beverage table. You stumbled but Stan was upon you in a moment, catching you and steadying you with his hands on your waist.

“You okay?” He inspected you from head to toe, then chuckled. “Heh. Guess I don’t know my own strength.”

One moment you were like that — brimming with happiness, entangled, chests pressed together — and the next Stan had pinned you to the wall, the darkened corner lending plenty of privacy to his wandering touch and fervent kisses. You kissed him back with similar urgency.

There was no part of him that you hadn’t mapped at one point or another, though it felt jarringly now like new territory, the same broad shoulders and thick arms but somehow different.

And you wanted to explore all of it.

With your teeth you tugged at his bottom lip, teasing open his mouth in order to get a better taste. Stan, pliant and obedient under your lead, sighed in pleasure. Nothing you did sated the need inside you to consume him, devour all that he offered so that you could never miss it again.

Stan had just moved his hand from your ass down along the curve of your lower thigh to lift your leg up around his waist — hardly an appropriate position for a Grauntie, you thought vaguely— when you were interrupted with unmistakable cheering. “Get ’em! Get ’em!”

Stan ensured to cover your body with his own as he whirled on Tyler in a move of unexpected gentlemanliness. The next words out of his mouth? Not so much.

Stan rasped, “I swear to God if you don’t get outta my sight right now I’m gonna rip out your eyes and sew them on whatever horrible affront to nature I have in my shop. Now scram.”

Tyler paused. He breathed out a small, “Get ’em” then turned tail and fled.

You covered your mouth to stifle your laugh.

“Pervert,” Stan grumbled.

“Can you blame him?”

“Nah. I’d watch us, too.” Stan grinned then, renewed in his delight. He gestured with his chin towards the door marked EMPLOYEES ONLY. “Wanna get out of here?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

The music, muffled by distance, sounded like an erratic heartbeat from the living room chair where Stan pulled you on top of him. You both laughed as your knees protested against the maneuver, Stan carefully guiding your legs to rest on either side of him. He kissed you at once. It was as if there had been no interruption from before, his hands in your hair and your fingers clumsily working the buttons of his shirt.

Stan shifted to accommodate the subsequent unbuckling of his gaudy belt, taking the opportunity to also unburden you from your top. Your entire being seemed to warm as he admired this new development, gaze drifting lazily, drinking in his fill. Stan always made you feel desirable. Even after your skin freckled and your breasts no longer held their perkiness.

Smiling with the ease of a contented man, Stan reached out and brushed a thumb under your collar. “How’d ya get this?”

You froze. You didn’t have to look to know what he was talking about — a tiny, heart-shaped scar.

The obvious shift in attitude made him recoil. His features spasmed with regret.

“I should know that, shouldn’t I?”

Your chest tightened. You whispered, “Yes.”

“Damnit.” He breathed your name. “I’m sorry. I should’ve known better than to say anything —”

The rest of his apology fell on deaf ears. You awkwardly climbed off his lap and collected your shirt. The shag carpet nearly swallowed your bare feet, having kicked off your shoes sometime after crossing the threshold into the house. Stan sat motionless, watching you. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” you quietly said.

Stan’s fingers flexed, an effort not to reach out to you again. “I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

“It…it’s okay.” You felt, somehow, as if you were both shrinking and expanding. The words you managed to eke out next sounded hollow. “We shouldn’t have done this.”

“What?”

“It wasn’t a good idea.” For the second time that night, tears burned your eyes. Stan, upon noticing, leapt out of the chair but you stepped out of his reach, wrapping your arms around you.

Stan deflated. Actually deflated, shoulders curving into his usual rounded posture. “What’s going on? Listen, I shouldn’t have said —”

“It’s not that,” you interrupted.

But wasn’t?

Not exclusively, you corrected. It was a whole jumbled, tangled mess of things. We need to do what’s best for Stan.

You couldn’t do this to him. To yourself. Couldn’t cycle through these moments of normality that inevitably tainted themselves. Like oil in water, you couldn’t separate one from the other. You had been delusional to think that you could defy that basic logic.

You would do anything for love, wouldn’t you?

Didn’t that include letting it go?

“I can’t do this, Stanley,” you told him. You were floating above yourself, presiding over the conversation in incorporeal form. “I-I can’t move out of the past. And I want to move forward, I do. But it’s impossible, and I can’t have both. I can’t.”

Tears flowed steadily down your face now.

Stan moved to console you but must’ve thought better of it. “What are you saying?”

“I’m going to go to Piedmont. With the twins.”

“What? What about us?”

“There is no us anymore, Stan.”

His throat bobbed uncertainly. “I know that it’s not like before but I…I’ve really enjoyed our time together. We could make this work.”

You shook your head. Sobs racked you, great shuddering, choking cries.

Stan stepped tentatively forward. “I dunno what to say.” His mouth worked as he searched for his next words. “We’ve made so many new memories together. Ain’t that enough?”

Was this really happening? You couldn't believe that it had come to this, all of those years. You didn't have any words for the emotions wholly encompassing you. 

“Look, kid, I —” Stan’s brows twisted up in grief, in regret and confusion, “— I wish you would stay. I think I’m fallin’ in love with you again.”

The pleading tone of his voice proved exactly why you needed to leave. Realistically you could never have him this way, and you would only hurt him because of it. Stan deserved more than a constant reminder of the consequences of his heroic deed.

You turned from him. “I’m sorry, Stan.”

Your name from his mouth sounded like the prayer of a man desperate for salvation. “No. Please. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

Heart heavier than it had ever been before, vision blurred, that’s exactly what you did.

As anticipated, the next day brought an onslaught of tears and goodbyes. You traipsed the halls of the Mystery Shack alone, ghosting your fingers over the chipped paneling and peeling paint. You were married to the old house as much as you were to Stan. Deep down you knew that you would return, but it didn’t make the goodbye any less difficult.

You avoided Stan at every possible turn. Only when you all piled into the car with your luggage did you force yourself to acknowledge him, fatigue creasing his face. You wanted nothing more than to comfort him. But this would be good for him — no more sorrow, no more pain. After the bus departed, Ford would surprise him with the boat and he would start a new life.

The walk from El Diablo to the bus station seemed to stretch on forever. You held Mabel’s hand while Dipper pushed ahead, feigning bravery, though last night you heard him crying softly in his room. So much had transpired over the summer, and now the days of adventure and laughter were over.

“I made these for you,” Mabel said. She handed Stan and Ford a pink sweater each, the former putting it on immediately and glaring at his brother to do the same. “I’m gonna miss my Grunkles.”

Ford smiled wistfully. “We’ll miss you too, kiddo.”

“C’mere, sweetie.” Stan brought Mabel in for a hug. It didn’t elude you that he used the endearment he chose before the memory wipe.

You felt as if your chest might burst from all of your suppressed, cresting emotions. Dipper bid his goodbyes next. The bus rumbled to the station then, kicking up dust, and the four of you fell into a tightened embrace.

You pulled away last. Stan regarded you with large, reproachful eyes as you kissed his cheek. “Goodbye, Stanley. We’ll see each other again.”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” He looked jarred by the interaction, a faint blush burning his cheeks.

Ford dipped his chin in your direction, a silent acknowledgment between you. Your lower lip trembled. But, as you turned to Dipper and Mabel, you summoned your most convincing smile and led them to the bus. Stan and Ford ensured that the driver allowed Waddles on the bus, who squealed his delight at entry. The duo, Stan outfitted in his brass knuckles and Ford with his gun, watched over your departure like two handsome, vengeful guardian angels.

Your bus seat creaked as you settled down into it, Dipper and Mabel on either side of you.

“To Piedmont,” you said.

“To Piedmont,” Dipper echoed. His grim smile had you reaching out to hug him again.

Mabel sadly waved Waddles’ hoof out the window. You couldn’t bear to look out it, staring straight ahead until the bus gained traction on the gravel road and the bus station — and your heart, your home — shrank in the distance.

For a long time the only sound was the bus chugging along and the only other rider, a snoring old man. You weren’t sure what the twins were thinking. Perhaps they were recounting their many adventures just as you were, Stan starring in most of yours.

No. No Stan. You needed to be brave.

You tried valiantly to raise morale. “We had so many great memories this summer. Fishing, swimming, being with Wendy and Soos and —”

“Grunkle Stan!”

You nodded somberly, adding, “And Grunkle Stan.”

“No! Look!” Mabel clambered in the seat, stabbing her finger at the window. Both you and Dipper righted in order to peer around her sweatered form. Sure enough, there was Stan, running to keep up with the bus and waving his hands.

“Wait! Stop!” He yelled, panting. “Stop the bus!”

“We have to stop the bus. He wants to tell us something,” Mabel said, eyes wide with urgency.

You eyed Stan, stumbling over rocks and roots, knowing that he wouldn’t last much longer. You signaled for the bus driver to stop; after the Waddles incident, he was only too willing to obey. The bus sputtered to a halt and the three of you piled off, Mabel and Dipper darting out in front to meet Stan’s breathless approach.

“Stan, what are you doing?” You shielded your face, blinking into the sun.

Stan doubled over, hands on his knees. He signaled that he needed a minute. You stood, smiling sheepishly at the bus driver, who looked less than impressed to be waiting. You started, “Stan —”

“I remember!” His face absolutely beamed. “I remember. I remember it all.” Stan grabbed Mabel’s shoulders. “You eat glitter when you think no one is looking. You told me once that you invented invisible ice cream but couldn’t find it when it fell on the floor.”

It was Dipper’s turn next for this onslaught of information, brimming out of Stan like an overflowing sink. “You! At the beginning of the summer you thought Mabel’s pet rock was an alien tryin’ to blend in. You were freakin’ out because it kept movin’.” Stan burst into laughter. “But it was just ME!”

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel and Dipper leapt to embrace him. He hugged them tighter than you had ever seen before.

He remembered? He remembered?

“Don’t think I forgot about ya.” Stan released the twins, crossing the space between you in only two strides. “I’m sorry, doll, ‘bout everythin’.” His large hands cupped either side of your face, gaze roaming over you with renewed wonder. “Everything is so clear now.”

Your lip wobbled. “You remember?”

“Yes I remember you beautiful, crazy woman!” Stan laughed and suddenly he was wrapping his arms around your middle and lifting you off your feet, spinning you in a circle. “I remember! I remember!”

You put your hands on his shoulders to brace yourself. “Stan! Stan! Are you sure?” You couldn’t let yourself hope again if it wasn’t true, fluttering in your chest like a trapped bird.

He set you down again, grinning like a child. “Like hell I’m sure. When…When Bill went in my mind, I ‘member thinkin’ that I could never lose you. None of you. I suppose I was s’scared of it that I repressed it deep enough to protect the memories. Then when you got on that bus, when I thought I lost you for real, it all came rushing back.”

“Really?” Tears strained your voice.

“Really.” Stan’s features softened. “I understand now why you fought so hard to get these memories back.”

A sound of strangled, delirious joy burst from you and you threw yourself against him, arms encircling around his neck. Stan’s mouth hovered near your ear, lips brushing the outer shell of it. “I love ya, doll. Even-Even when I didn’t remember why, I loved ya.”

“I love you, too,” you sighed into the crook of his neck and shoulder. “I can’t believe this.”

“Well, believe it.” Stan retracted enough to study you, curious and awed all in one. “You can’t get rid o’me that easily.”

“I-I really thought…” you shook your head, unable to get the words out. You just held him tighter.

“I know. I know, doll.”

You didn’t need to speak to understand each other, to know what the other one was thinking. When he held you now, he held you with thirty years of memories, a bind stronger than even the ring on your finger.

Mabel broke the embrace, tugging on Stan’s shirt. “What happens now?”

In the distance, Dipper and Ford were chasing Waddles. Stan observed this, then took a long look at you before turning to his niece. He waved off the bus driver, saying, “You ever been on a boat before, kid?”

A/N 2.0: In my head, they all get to go on their adventures together and reader homeschools Dipper and Mabel and they’re a big, happy family.

There’s little nods to the Swooning Over Stans dating game by @gfdatingsim and By Steps and Inches by @funkingrunkles . Memories is kind of my love letter to both stories that I enjoyed so much. (So if you read this, thank you💕)

[thebisexualdogdad]

With the new rookie season you gotta do more Lucy!!!

Maybe something like Lucy meets a PI who’s working a similar case as her and the two slowly flirt and nerd out on common interests.

Lucy Chen x Male!reader

● as a private investigator you were hired to follow a man who's wife was accusing him of cheating

● lucky for her he wasn't cheating, unluckily for her he became entangled with a gang selling drugs and now he's missing

● which is how you meet officer Lucy Chen

● “Excuse me? What do you think you're doing? This is a crime scene you can't be here,” she questions as you're looking at the faces of a bunch of newly deceased individuals after a drug deal gone wrong trying to ID your clients husband

● “I'm a private investigator, Y/N Y/L/N, I've been hired by Mary Jameson to track down her husband Luke Jameson who is involved with all this”

● “do you see him here?”

● “no but-”

● “then I'm gonna have to ask you to leave”

● you don't actually leave, you just hang around outside the crime scene tape waiting to get any more information on where you're missing guy might be

● “he's still here?” Harper asks Lucy who has been keeping an eye on you for the last several hours

● “yeah he thinks I'm gonna tell him details about the case because he's a PI”

● “PI's are the worst,” Lopez chimes in

● “I thought lawyers were the worst?”

● “they are but I'm not married to a PI,” she laughs, “he says he's looking for a guy who deals for this gang right? Lucy take him to the station and find out everything he knows, he may actually be useful in helping us fill in some missing pieces”

● back at the station Lucy has you in an interrogation room, questioning you about Luke

● you tell her you've been tailing him for three weeks, he went missing two days ago handing over the photos you have of him dealing drugs as well as meeting up with the leader of the gang

● you actually were quite helpful for Lucy

● and even a little bit flirty

● and to your surprise Lucy was flirting back

● you find out you like the same TV shows and music artists

● you spend a little too long talking about the latest season of your favorite show

● but just as you're about to ask her on a date to get to know her more Lopez and Harper interrupt bringing your attention back to the case at hand

● Lucy relays all the information to them and thanks you for the help

● and after you leave Lopez asks her, “were you flirting with the PI?”

● “no of course not that would be unprofessional”

● Lopez and Harper simultaneously “they were flirting”

● you show up at the station again the next morning with coffee and breakfast sandwiches to see if they have any new leads on Luke

● “you brought me coffee?”

● “with almond milk and a shot of espresso”

● “how did you know that's how I drink my coffee?”

● “I'm a private investigator remember, it's my job to know those kind of things”

● you and Lucy end up working together to find out that Luke is being held captive by a rival gang

● the cops raid the warehouse and free him though he is arrested in the process due to your photos of him dealing drugs which his wife is certainly not going to be happy about

● “Guess this is the end of our team up,” Lucy tells you when she returns to the station with another officer towing behind with Luke in handcuffs

● “Seems so but it doesn't mean it has to be the last time we see each other right? Can I take you out to dinner sometime?”

● “yeah, that would be nice”

● “great, I'll get us a reservation at the blue orchid”

● “that's my favorite restaurant how did you- oh right private investigator,” she laughs

[whispereons]

Oracle!Reader Part 9

Masterlist - Part 1, Part 8, Part 10

Warning! This chapter has some gore and death! Remember my sagau has darker worldbuilding and it's an imposter au! Yanderes is a warning in itself.

Muffled thumping and talking bothered your slumber. Feeling groggy you opened your eyes slowly. A groan slips past your lips as your head pounds when you move to sit up. What happened last night?

Memories of the night before coming back to you in a trickle before it rushes your mind all at once. Your mask!

Urgently you feel your face and relax a little at it still being there. But what if Kazuha took it off and put it back on? You would be put in a cell, right? The bedding underneath you were still soft and warm in fact something even warmer was on your legs too...

Looking down you see a head of white and red hair resting on your leg. The sleeping face of Kazuha with bed hair was sitting on a chair letting his upper body rest on the bed.

As cute as he was, sleeping very content on your legs you needed answers to whether he removed your mask or not. Why he was sleeping here was secondary.

"Kazuha? Kazuha, wake up!" You shake his shoulders gently as you call his name. He wakes up almost immediately no doubt due to his sensitive hearing.

"Y/N? Why are you-? Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry." It doesn't take Kazuha long to realize the situation as he jumps away from the bed in a hurry. The slight red to his ears as he turns his head away from you is an easy indicator to his embarrassment.

"It's fine really. You carried me back to my room, right? Thank you for that." His reaction was technically positive while referring you by name meaning he didn't take it off. You should be fine... for now.

"It was no trouble Y/N, especially as you had done the same for me the first night. It's just a little worrying how tired I got once I laid you on the bed. I must have been exhausted from the battle since I didn't drink anything."

Kazuha's complexion starts to cool down as he speaks about the sudden sleepiness. It's quite convenient, a little too convenient. Teyvat probably had a hand in this. You were grateful for it either way.

Politely you dismiss Kazuha who is more than eager to escape the situation. Packing up the last of your stuff and freshening up, you leave the room and climb the stairs.

The cawing of birds become clear, and you look to see the bustling pier of Liyue Harbor. You recognize it as the farthest pier from the city entrance. Unlike the game where you only saw a few people and sellers, it was much busier now.

People of all colors and clothing walked around buying, selling, playing, and working. Liyue was said to be home to many people meeting, so it was nice to see an actual busy port.

Tightening your grip on the strap of the bag, you hope that the crowd will help you escape from meeting any acolytes. Zhongli, Ningguang, and Yelan were the top people to avoid. A smart, well connected Ningguang is far more dangerous than the isolated adeptus Ganyu or Xiao.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Turning around at the sound of your name, a hug from a very excited chef and panda nearly topples you. Smiling a little you hug her back.

"Woke up fine after passing out like that Xiangling?" She pulls away with a pout at your words. Guoba is still clinging to you, and you pet his head while smiling at Xiangling.

"I'll be able to handle more next time! I swear it." You nod along to her determination before asking her a question.

"Where's Xinyan? I know she had a performance today; did she leave already?"

"That's correct. Xinyan had to leave around the same time Beidou left for business. Furong relayed her message to me about it."

Kazuha strolls to where you're standing with Xiangling. He's carrying a small bag with him hinting that he might be staying in Liyue for a while.

"That's a shame, maybe I'll get to see her when I'm in Liyue Harbor. I'm guessing you both have your own ideas on what to do in Liyue."

Speaking casually, you begin walking off the boat onto the port, Kazuha and Xiangling follow behind you.

Xiangling speaks about fishing before going to Wanmin Restaurant where she can go back to helping her dad. Kazuha's calm voice mentions a trip to the Lisha area where he had yet to explore.

Keeping your tone light, you vaguely speak of traveling around and the possibility of visiting another nation. It's best to have a flexible track record to avoid being stuck in any minor lies.

The crowd around you seems to grow thicker. It pushes the three of you together into a clump in the crowd. The smell of fish, sweat, and salt is grossing you out.

Kazuha's featherlight grip on your wrist and Xiangling's warm hand on your shoulder are what helped you all stay together and escape the masses. You sigh in relief at the cool breeze sweeping away the hot sticky feeling.

Quickly you begin saying your goodbyes to them only to be surprised by their slight clinginess.

"Why are you leaving so fast? I can treat you to a meal at Wanmin Restaurant first." She keeps her hand on your shoulder as she inches closer. Trills come from below and you look to see Guoba clinging to your leg. When did he come over?

"I agree, we don't have to split so fast. If anything, you can explore the Lisha area with me." Kazuha changes his grip from your wrist to your hand with ease.

You would be more than happy to, but you really didn't want to attract more vision holders. They would inevitably ask about you since you awakened most of them. That would lead to more questions, more lies, and less freedom.

"I'm sorry but I do have things to take care of in the city first. I don't want to hold either of you back. Xiangling, the fish you want are only around this time of day and Kazuha, I won't have you waiting hours or even days for me." You speak with firm tone and escape their holds.

Xiangling and Guoba wear matching sad puppy looks while Kazuha seems calm. The slight tremble of his hands as he waves goodbye to you doesn't go unnoticed.

He really can't understand just why he's so attached to you. It's not like him to get this troubled by saying goodbye to people he's met during his travels. His hand shook resisting the urge to hold you again.

Perhaps some time away from you would be good. For you and him.

You turn the corner around Hanfeng's Ironmongers and release the breath you've been holding. Relaxing your shoulders, you resist the urge to groan as you walk along the stone floor.

This was certainly a new pattern that you've begun to notice in your acolytes but not unwelcome. Being clingy and attached to you will help blind them from any slip ups you might make. It was nice to feel loved by your comfort characters too...

The headache you've been sporting since you woke up pulses as if reminding you of its existence. Drinking on a boat was not your best decision but you wouldn't count it as your worst yet. That spot belonged to your moment of weakness with Gorou that gained Yae's attention.

Sighing you keep walking trying to remember the first stop you had planned.

"-thank you for supporting the Adventurers' Guild." Your ears perked at the end of the sentence and a person in the signature green outfit.

That's right, you wanted to finally join the Guild since you never got the chance to in Inazuma. With renewed vigor you walk further and climb up the stone steps.

As you begin climbing the wooden staircase (was it always this high?) you see a black hat and two long twin tails as you climb up. The body gestures and promotional voice are a clear indicator to who is gracing Lan, the Liyue Branch Master, with her presence.

"This new proposal is designed to make anyone, especially you agree to it. The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is always up to date, so we increased the number of coffins you get with your first order to 150 wooden coffins due to departure of Rex Lapis."

You get to the top of the stairs letting you have front row seats to the amusing sale performance.

"I hope you remember the on-site cadaver collection service covering almost every region in Liyue. Because I'm proud to say that we now cover them all. The fee is still very affordable of course!"

Hu Tao smiles perfectly as Lan only gets more annoyed.

"Even when you had the traveler, I still rejected you."

"So, you do remember! That's perfect as now I won't have to drag her here to be a reference again. The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor fully understands why you may be hesitant to agree due to the social ideals. Despite the fact that everyone and everything ends. But it truly is in your best interest to agree to my proposal."

Hu Tao seems to get a little more desperate as Lan presses her hands to her temple.

"I mean, she isn't wrong." Your honest thoughts are spoken aloud drawing the women's attention to you.

Unlike Hu Tao's cheery and overly persuasive voice, you take on a more relaxed tone.

"You want to keep your adventurers safe and making them agree to this would look bad is what you're thinking right? But don't you see how Hu Tao's proposal is making them safer? An adventurer agrees to this job knowing that their life is in danger, if they get scared at the thought of signing that waiver then they aren't cut out for adventuring. How would they survive when attacked? They won't, so this may help prevent needless deaths."

Hu Tao's eyes sparkle at your words as Lan seems dumbstruck. You don't blame her, a random person coming up and taking Hu Tao's side on her business practices is a rarity.

"Now if you agree, you could prevent a lot of heart ache for those who are connected to the adventurers too. Someone has to pick up the bodies, Hu Tao's on-site cadaver collection is the best option. If not them then you'll need to have a different adventurer pick them up, have the family pick them up or pay a bigger fee for the Parlor to do it. You wouldn't want someone who was friends, coworker or family to deal with that corpse if you don't have to, right?"

This was all stuff you've wanted to tell Lan when you saw this scene in Hu Tao's story quest. It felt good finally getting it off your chest. Hu Tao's idea was really more like insurance similar to those who worked dangerous jobs like construction.

"Someone that recognizes my genius! I thought I had a way with words until I heard you speak of possibilities I couldn't even fathom. Tell me what's your name?"

Hu Tao shakes your hand excitedly and before you can even open your mouth to respond she looks back to Lan.

"But before that, I would like to seal the deal with Miss Lan on the offer. Wangsheng Funeral Parlor has a long and detailed history of honoring the client's requests on their death bed. So, agree to this now and reap all the benefits!"

"I said no, I'm not telling you again Hu Tao. Say what you will but I'm not changing my mind. And you, do you have any actual business with the Adventurers' Guild? If you do, speak to Katheryne if not then leave."

You chuckle at the way Lan stubbornly rejects Hu Tao with a scowl before piping up coyly.

"Well lucky for you Lan, I'm Y/N and I'm looking to be an adventurer." The smile you have seems to annoy Lan even further. She mutters something sounding very similar to "of course they are" and points at Kathryne.

"Miss Lan may be unwilling to partner up with me but the same can't be said the same for you Y/N. Those eyebags, slumped shoulders, and frizzy hair. All of that to point to you being chased by something intangible. Why don't you come over sometime and I can get you a 30% discount on a nice coffin as thanks for your help?"

Were you really that haggard looking or was Hu Tao exaggerating it to sell to you? The speed Hu Tao can switch targets from Lan to you is bit startling. Her elemental ghost creeps around her back to wrap around your waist pulling you closer to her.

"Much like you said earlier, an adventurer's life isn't easy! If you agree now, I can promise a special on-site cadaver collection that can extend as far as Monstadt and Sumeru. Buy now and save later, it's the families that regret not buying a coffin or spot for burial."

Well, you did vouch for Hu Tao's proposition earlier so it would be hypocritical to refuse now. But what if you're dragged back to Inazuma and die there? Or worse your identity is exposed leading to you not being allowed a funeral?

The furrow of your brows and finger on your chin as you mentally compare the pros and cons makes Hu Tao smile wider. Until an employee from the Funeral Parlor runs up the stairs calling her name.

"Director Hu Tao, we need your help with the same customer from last week. She keeps trying to change the plan last minute!"

Sighing in annoyance, Hu Tao releases you and steps backward letting you have your personal space back.

"It seems this must be all the time we have together Y/N." She keeps her hand over her heart as she speaks dramatically before wistfully continuing. "A meeting with someone like you is once in a lifetime, so here!"

A business card with the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor name, symbol and address is thrusted in front of you. The address changes to something readable as your fingers brush over the words and her cold rings as you take the card from her.

Do you even want to keep this paper? It's like a guaranteed ticket to meeting Zhongli who you've felt very conflicted about since you arrived here. He and Venti have had thousands of years to grow as worshippers while watching the cult grow. If anyone could pick up your lie, it would be them. Maybe burning the paper would be the best option.

You wave in slight befuddlement as the employee drags Hu Tao away in a hurry. Once she's out of sight, you turn back to the Adventurers' Guild front desk.

"So how do I start?"

After filling out the stacks of paperwork Katheryne handed you, you give it back and crack your wrist. It had asked all manners of questions from 'do you have any control over the elements?' to 'which of the three mushroom types is edible?'. Something tells you Lan made it purposefully harder.

Katheryne disappears into the building with Lan and after a few minutes she comes back out with a smile.

"Congratulations, you've been accepted into the Adventurers' Guild. I am unable to draw up an adventure rank for you but here is your adventurer handbook."

You take the familiar handbook from her and wince at the way her voice glitches when speaking about your adventure rank. Katheryne has always been a meta character so perhaps with your isekai'd statues the system is struggling. Or Teyvat is doing this to protect you as it's heavily implied Kathryne was created by Sandrone, the Fatui Harbinger.

"Due to your lack of adventure rank we will skip that area. Instead, we can give you the choice of wearing your regular clothes or the adventurers' uniform. It's made of material designed to stand against attacks, the weather, and long durations of time."

You smile and shake your head. That uniform would be a dead giveaway to your new job. Plus, it was kind of ugly, there was no way you would run around looking like Tingle from Zelda.

Wait why did they never offer the traveler the option to wear the uniform?

"Then let's get to the main aspect of adventuring, which is commissions. Between the choice of a single daily commission or four weekly commissions, you chose the latter. You are free to pick up your commissions tomorrow morning. Any questions or concerns?"

There was no option for four daily commissions on the paperwork. They must have given it due to the traveler proving their strength using the Dvalin stunt that happened right before the 'Welcome to the Adventurers' Guild' quest. Or because it's a game.

"Just one, will I have to fight abyss mages and hilichurls? Since I wrote that I could control some elements and fighting skills."

"Yes, you will have to face such monsters since you said yes to both questions. Of course, you won't be facing strong ones as all new adventurers start with easy monsters until their adventure rank rises. Unfortunately, since we can't assign you a rank, you will never be assigned commission focusing on stronger enemies."

What a relief! You already felt horrible at the thought of fighting against the cursed khaenri'ahs. Making the fight more difficult would just make it worse.

"Then ad astra abyssosque, Adventurer! With effort, you shall reach the stars and conquer the abyss!"

That signature phrase makes you smile at the robotic woman before leaving down the stairs. That had to be the simplest job interview you've every applied for!

Not to mention this is the only one you've ever successfully gotten hired for. Most deny you for not having a high school diploma and the rest for not having a GED. You would have gotten one if your old boss ever let you. But the way a gang keeps you trapped is by cutting off any other options. If you never get better, you can never leave.

You walk back down the stairs and stuff the handbook into your bag. What to do now? Visiting Hu Tao is not an option, and this was Liyue for crying out loud! You couldn't explore Inazuma in fear of being seen but the problem didn't exist in Liyue... for now at least.

Glancing at the teleport waypoint in the middle of the city, you make sure to keep a good distance from it. Accidentally activating it would be the worst thing especially with all the people around.

Pushing back any worries you begin exploring the Harbor while checking stores for anything useful. The red of the building frames were such an eye-catching design compared to the monochrome and neon buildings on Earth.

The lanterns and lights were off, but you could already imagine the sight of them illuminating the city. One thing you did note was how everyone walked on the stairs and avoided the smooth stone. Wasn't that one reserved for royalty or rather the Archons? Best that you avoid it too.

Unable to read the signs you took to spying the wares to see if the stores have what you need. Camping supplies like a tent, sleeping bag (the closest thing was a sleeping mat and a blanket), travel-sized hygiene tools, a lantern that holds a candle and a multi tool. Were the first things on your list.

You couldn't stay in hotels or get lucky enough like you did to stay with the Kamisatos so it's best to be prepared to sleep outside. Hotels and even motels are expensive so it's best to save money until you have a general income established.

Having a game bag was such a blessing. The shopkeepers looked surprised when you stuffed the whole tent into it but not to the point where it's absurd. The adepti inventions and the traveler seemed to have made all these things rare but not unheard of.

Another high priority was medical supplies. There was a chance that the Statue of the Seven could heal you but that could summon the respective Archon too. You didn't want to bleed to death while walking to one either. Unless you could teleport to them too...

With a good-sized medical kit, you go to the Wanmin restaurant and merely order from the outside. A good heaping of raw ingredients is added to your bag along with a cooking pot.

Second Life, the store nearby is perfect for some of the missing items like milk. The bag is timeless, so nothing ever rots or spoils. If you had something like this on Earth, you wouldn't have spent years going hungry.

You end up near Xigu Antiques and take out Beisht's scale from your bag. If you ever got low on money, then selling Beisht's scale could work. But using it as a bargaining chip or as a verification of being an oracle would be ideal.

"This scale is unlike I've ever seen. It's not only in perfect condition but it's overflowing with hydro energy. Inventors would pay around 5 million mora to power inventions using it. While jewelers like us would pay up to 2 million mora for it. Are you interested in selling it?"

You give a polite refusal before being extra careful in storing the scale. The last thing you want is its price tag going down. Only one thing left on the checklist of items you wanted to buy.

As you ran around looking for that particular shop, you slowed down near the toy seller. Granny Shan smiled at you with wrinkles crinkling as you admired the kites and toys on the bench.

"Hello young one, interested in any of the toys? The ready-made toys are all child sized but I'm open to commissions for specific toys as well."

There wasn't any point in buying anything. The money could be better spent on living expenses rather than kites or fireworks. With a well-mannered smile you're about to decline until you spot a toy design on a piece of paper.

The air in your lungs struggle to leave you as your hands gently pick up the paper to see it closer. A grey cat plushie design with black and white patches graces your eyes. Your lips are dry, and your throat feels tight.

"This design... Can I get the first finished product?"

"I would be happy to. This kind of toy must bring back some childhood memories, right?"

Granny Shan is oblivious to your inner turmoil as she writes down your name and takes the appropriate mora from you. "It'll be done in around two days. Feel free to pick up that day or the day after."

Thankfully it wasn't that expensive, and you leave the stall trying to regain your bearings. The reminder of your beloved Ashtray was sudden but bittersweet. You had a similar plushie in Earth that comforted you, maybe having one here would help you too.

After walking in a daze, you find yourself in front of a shop that was hidden away. It wasn't in the game but maybe that's because it would have been useless to note. Entering the shop, the sight of wind gliders sends you some excitement and nervousness.

Wind gliders of different designs and colors are hung around the shop as protective gear is stationed around on tables. The metallic of the middle structure of it are cold to the touch. A contradictory to the soft cotton hiding the bendable mechanics of the wings.

You're quickly attended to by an employee as they explain the functions and unique color schemes behind each glider. Some designs have monochrome colors to let the buyer color it themselves while others are bejeweled to hell and back.

The one you end up buying is a mild colored glider that suited your color scheme with gold and black mechanical parts. Hopefully you won't regret skipping on the protective gear, Teyvat would protect you from hurting yourself... right?

Who are you kidding? You didn't have a clue on how to use it. Gliding in the game and gliding in real life were two different things. Although they explained the basic of attaching it to the back of your clothes and how it'll automatically deploy at certain velocity. That didn't fix the fact that you don't have a license to use it or any actual knowledge.

There's a bookstore in Liyue right? You already needed to buy some books on camping and the in-depth flora so you can pick up a more detailed gliding instruction manual too.

Feeling a bit lost you climb the red staircases vaguely remembering that the bookstore should be above ground floor. What you end up coming across first is the Heyu Tea House where Yun Jin usually performs.

It's a lot bigger than it was shown in game. This one actually looks like it can hold her performance. A border is set around the stage as a paper is stuck to it. Getting closer you run your fingers over the words.

'Yun Jin performing in less than two hours! The final act to the opera: The Lonely Chameleon!'

Great, now you know exactly where not to be in two hours. You would undoubtably miss whatever story she would be telling as it's the last act. Why be there and potentially draw attention and embarrassment to yourself?

Continuing your journey, you end up being forced to walk past the Northland Back. Vlad, the daytime guard that you were cheering on to end up with Nadia, the night guard was a lot more intimidating in person.

You walk past quickly as the memories of meeting Childe, learning the truth of Zhongli and stealing the chest inside the bank enter your mind. It was years ago that you did that quest, but it felt nostalgic with you walking past it like this.

Confusion is clear on your face as you look across the staircase and see the bookstore much farther than you thought. Slapping your hand lightly on your face you audibly groan at the realization.

You climbed the wrong staircase.

After backtracking, getting a little more lost and finally climbing what you think is the right staircase you are greeted by the bookshelves. A sigh of relief leaves you as your fingers trail against the spines of the books to read the titles.

Most of these you already have in the game screen and can access anytime. An in-depth gliding book, natural Liyue flora book, and a camping book are all paid for with your mora pouch that is much lighter than when you first arrived at Liyue.

Unfortunately, you had to give up on finding a book on tracking and hunting. Seems someone had already bought the last copy.

Slowly you walk back to the area where the bridge connected to the Harbor. The sun was close to setting with the orange hue embracing the sky. Most people are already home with only a few children and the usual dogs hanging out on the bridge. Passing by the alchemy table and pond your tired thoughts begin to wander.

To think alchemy was a real thing in this world. In some ways Teyvat surpassed Earth's technology using it while they were also limited due to it. You could probably make a lot of money by inventing the most useful tools you saw on Earth. Like the creation of a bicycle or at least a tricycle was revolutionary during this era.

"I'm happy to walk ya back Yun Jin but I really can't stay."

"I understand Xinyan so thank you for escorting me back to the Heyu Tea House."

You freeze at the foot of the bridge as the faint figures of Xinyan and Yun Jin walk from the other side of the bridge. Yun Jin must have gone to watch Xinyan's performance but wasn't hers supposed to start in less than an hour?

A loud bang catches your attention as the sound of electro crystalizing is heard from the city on your left. Two geovishap hatchlings speed out of somewhere from the city as Keqing chases them. The hatchlings circle around Keqing as she continuesly dodges their attacks.

"Everyone be careful! Please keep a clear distance from this area for your own safety!"

Watching in surprise you stand at the foot of the bridge as the kids and dogs get closer to you. Seems Beidou wasn't kidding when she said that the monsters and Ley lines were acting strange. The game has had monsters get close to the cities but never inside it.

As Keqing continues to block and attack the hatchlings, Xinyan and Yun Jin get to the halfway point of the bridge. Heavy footsteps of multiple guards can be heard from the direction Keqing came from.

The geovishap hatchlings startle at the vibrations and curl back into balls moving in a fast pace toward the bridge. The same bridge that you were in front of!

Urgently you're about to move out the way when the children hold onto your clothes in fear. Combine that with the two dogs blocking your feet, moving out of the way was impossible.

Did you have enough time to get your sickle out of your bag? Was there anything else you can use?! The hatchlings speed up as Keqing notices your predicament and rushes over. You can already tell that even if she used her skill, she wouldn't make it in time.

Trembling the kids close their eyes and bury their heads into your clothing. The dogs bark and growl at the approaching hatchlings. Gritting your teeth, you close your eyes and hold your arms out in some form of defense.

The rough rocks of the hatchling scrape your hand and you swing your arm to the side from the pain. The hatchling makes a pitiful whimper as it's pushed back by the sickle appearing in your hands.

In surprise you examine the sickle in your hands. Did you really get the ability to sheathe and unsheathe your weapon without manually holding it? It's quite late seeing as you could have used this during Beisht's battle but better late than never.

Did the creatures really not recognize you as the creator?

Your blood from the scrape drips down your hand and hits the ground. You could tell that something changed within the geovishap hatchlings... The one that scratched your hand started to spin around in circles for seemingly no reason.

The second hatchling lunged at the first one with teeth and claws barred out. It pins the first one to the ground and brutally stabs it as it bites chunks of rock out of its skin.

Everyone around stops at the scene and watches it in horrific disbelief. The blood splatters all over the floor and the smell of copper invades your nose. The bloody barely moving corpse of the hatchling starts to weakly crawl to you.

The kids shriek and the dogs whine as the chipped bloody geo claw reaches toward you. Unlike how threatening it felt earlier, the sight of it trying so desperately to reach you had grief swelling up inside.

The second hatchling with bloody rocks and crimson flowing out of its jaw follows it as it's club like tail raises. The tail is slammed down onto the it's victim with no remorse repeatedly. As the rocky exterior is beaten away blood flies off the body.

Your body takes the brunt of the splashing blood as you cannot stop staring at the corpse. By the time the tail is lifted off the body, all that's left is a bloody pulp of rock, scales and flesh.

Everything is silent for a moment as the sole Geo hatchling looks up at you. It seems happy? Maybe even proud of what it did. It rips off the gold horn from the corpse and places it at your feet.

You stare down at the item as you shakily pick it up. It's still warm. Whether from the blood or the newly deceased creature, you aren't sure.

The background seems to blur as you stare at it. The children running to their parents, Keqing yelling out orders, Yun Jin and Xinyan trying to get past without attracting the attention of the hatchling. All of it fades away.

What caused this situation to happen? They didn't recognize you until your blood dribbled out. Teyvat was calling strong creatures to protect you so maybe the weaker ones hadn't got the message yet? Should you be mad at the hatchling that stands at your feet looking at you with adoration?

If a person did this, you would be appalled. But nature was never kind and Teyvat had its own laws. Even if you did kill the geo hatchling for murdering its brethren, it wouldn't stop anything. They aren't like humans who can understand your words and worries. Besides the hatchling didn't do it in your name like the acolytes' sacrificial events, it did it to protect you...

You snap back into attention as Keqing teleports using her skill above the hatchling. It curls up and rolls around you to escape using the bridge. The faint trail of blood in its wake is only mildly off-putting compared to earlier.

In its hurry it slams into Yun Jin's chest. Her clothing is smeared with blood, and it rips from the rocky scales. She stumbles back with a pained cry as Xinyan growls and summons her weapon.

"Get away from her!" Xinyan barely misses the hatchling as it digs under the ground and reappears behind them. Xinyan is about to give chase, but you grab her arm in a haste.

"Just leave it be, there's more important things to worry about! Yun Jin's show is starting in less than an hour."

Yun Jin stands up from the ground and the damage had already been done. Her hair was a mess, her makeup was smudged, and her clothes were torn with a blood smear.

"Oh no, oh dear. I was supposed to perform in these clothes, I had no costume prepared. If I go back now, they'll be so caught up in fixing me that the show will be ruined."

Yun Jin's despair quickly captures Xinyan's attention, and you glance at the geovishap hatchling that flees the area. Some of the Millelith guards are about to give chase but Keqing stops them.

"I think we still have a chance to fix things." Your voice has a glimmer of hope as you take in Yun Jin's appearance. "I don't know how to do your hair, but I have experience in makeup and clothing. If we all work together, we could get it fixed up in time."

"Is that really a possibility?"

"Don't give up hope Yun Jin! Y/N is right, if we go somewhere and fix it up, you might make it! You know I can help with all that stuff too."

Yun Jin smiles feeling a bit better with Xinyan and your reassurance. Before you can start looking around for somewhere to work on it Keqing walks up to your group.

"Hello, I wanted to come over to amend the situation that I could have prevented if not for my own lack of skills. Situations like these may not be under the Yuheng's responsibility but as a member of the Liyue Qixing who was here, I should have been able to stop the geovishap hatchlings.

As much as I would like to properly introduce myself, it's best that I cut to the chase. Yun Jin, you are performing soon, and your friends want to help you fix it correct? I'll pay a room for you in the Yanshang Teahouse and have someone bring over any material you might need."

This was a real lucky break, but Keqing keeps glancing at you, as if she knows or wants something. Everyone saw how the hatchling presented the horn to you, hopefully she's not suspecting you to be behind the Geo hatchlings attack.

Xinyan and Yun Jin are quick to agree as you all hurry to the teahouse. The hostess that you remember being really bitchy before Yelan took over was pleasant at the sight of the very popular vision holders. You ignore the side-eye she gives you as you all pile into a room.

Xinyan is creating a list of necassary materials to remedy Yun Jin's situation with Keqing as you clear the table of all the decorations. The whole next 10 minutes is a blur. The only thing you focus on is cleaning the blood from her outfit and repairing the holes as Yun Jin sits in front of a mirror in some spare clothes. Xinyan is focused on redoing the hairstyle.

Keqing only stopped to drop off the supplies before leaving for work. She didn't ask you anything but the way she stared at you whenever she thought you weren't looking says otherwise. Knowing your luck, Ningguang will have heard of this too. And being in the teahouse that Yelan owns? Yeah, you're screwed.

Deciding to push it to the back of your mind, you focus on the dress in your hands that's almost done being repaired. You were no professional sewer, you just had so much practice in sewing your clothes that this came easily to you. Same with your make-up skills, your job on Earth required you to constantly change faces. So, your make-up skills were more in the contouring section. Always used to obscure your features rather than enhance them.

The dress looks brand-new as you examine it closely for any signs of imperfection. Satisfied at your job you stand up and go over to the duo. They've been chatting about how the Heyu Tea House owner would react to Yun Jin arriving so close to the beginning of the opera.

"Sorry to interrupt but I finished fixing your dress. Do you want me to help you with your make-up or are you all good?"

Yun Jin jumps at your appearance and nearly drops the brush she was using.

"Thank you so much!... Y/N? I'm so sorry I never even got to properly introduce myself to you and you were still kind enough to help me. Is there any way I can repay you for all you've done for me?"

You smile gently at the formal woman as she stresses out over her lack of manners. What a perfect opportunity served on a silver platter.

"Please don't worry about that. You're a friend of Xinyan's right? I came on the Alcor with Xinyan, and I was more than happy to help. The situation earlier left everyone quite frazzled. I really don't need anything as repayment. I just hope you can make it to your show in time."

Yun Jin only looks more regretful at your generous wish. Xinyan finishes her hair and scoots back as she grabs the hat. She takes the sewing needle you were using earlier and begins to repair the hanging tassels.

"Don't feel bad Yun Jin, Y/N is a good person! I never got to tell you in detail how the trip with the Crux went this time but after your show I can tell you all about it. Ya know that oracle I mentioned before? Y/N is that oracle!"

Careful not to mess up her hair, you begin applying the red eyeshadow as Yun Jin puts on the light red tinted lipstick. "Is that really true? I'm not doubting you, it's just incredible to hear."

"Yes, to put it simply I tend to resemble the creator due to the powers I'm granted. One of the major ones is how I can connect with the creatures of this world." Your downcast eyes make Yun Jin send you a worried look.

"Is something wrong Y/N?"

"It's just that I think the geovishap hatchling may have sensed the creator's presence on me and instead of attacking me like they do to the awakened acolytes, it reacted weirdly. I think the Yuheng may be under the belief that I did something to make them react like that."

You finish applying it and lean away from Yun Jin. The girls share a look with each other and begin reassuring you that there's no way you would get in trouble. It's when you hear a particular sentence from Yun Jin that your pursed lips curl into a grateful smile.

"I have a performance that requires me to speak with Keqing tomorrow, I can explain your oracle status and clear up any misunderstandings that may have arisen."

"I would be so thankful for that Yun Jin! You would really be my hero."

Calling her a hero makes her pale cheeks heat up a little as she stands up.

"Think nothing of it Y/N. Now I believe everything is repaired and ready. I'll change and meet you outside as soon as I possibly can."

Smiling happily, you wave with Xinyan and leave to the entrance of the Teahouse. Xinyan pats you on the back with an ecstatic smile.

"We might be able to arrive on time, we really couldn't have done it without you Y/N. If you have time, would ya like to watch her show with me? The final act usually has a quick recap and the story in this one is pretty simple."

Xinyan looks at you with expectant eyes as you remember her telling Yun Jin that she wouldn't be able to attend. What made her change her mind?

"That sounds like fun! I've never seen an opera before, would I need to buy tickets?"

"Don't worry about that! Yun Jin always has private tickets for anyone she wants to personally invite. I don't usually go since I've never been too fond of opera, but I want to support Yun Jin. It would be a lot more fun with you."

Yun Jin comes out at that exact moment looking nearly identical to her pre-attacked appearance. Xinyan keeps her fingers to her lips signaling to keep your agreement a secret. You nod back to her; it was nice seeing them get along so well.

Getting there at the last second, the troupe calls her over in a hurry. Yun Jin can only briefly wave goodbye before disappearing behind the topaz curtain.

The Heyu Tea House was packed to say the least. Fighting through the people, you and Xinyan managed to find a seat close enough that Yun Jin would notice you both immediately.

Eyes stare at your table or rather at Xinyan. You had only gotten this seat because they moved away in fear without either of you doing anything. Not that you were complaining, if they wanted to be chicken then that's on them.

If only they stopped glaring at Xinyan for simply existing. Now doesn't that bring up memories of your own childhood. No one really liked being saddled with the orphan kid.

Xinyan doesn't even react and only smiles when the curtain pulls away to reveal a few backup dancers and Yun Jin posing. Her voice rings out in Chinese as they start dancing and performing in harmony.

You don't miss how her eyes light up at the sight of you and Xinyan watching from the table. A separate narrator begins to recap the previous acts.

"A chameleon with no one and nothing left. What a pitiful existence. Yet it strives for some meaning or person to live for, it works tirelessly each day. Changing its colors, it's position and its soul for that singular purpose. Taken advantage by each animal requesting a color. At long last it's used every color and been rejected by each one. So now it's left to wonder; what color was its true color?"

Each animal that had taken advantage of the chameleon appears in costume around Yun Jin. The lanterns dim as the moon starts to rise setting a perfect backdrop.

The singing slows down as Yun Jin speaks mournfully.

"Not a single color keeps them with me. No matter how hard I try to blend in, to be accepted it is but a lost cause. Should I find my original color and live all alone? Or should I give one last ditch effort?"

Colored lights and decorations spin around Yun Jin at her last line. When it's pulled away her hat had changed to a multicolored fan of hairpins. A long robe covered her dress with flags in each color stood proud fanning out from behind her.

Her singing is high-pitched and melancholic. All the other animal performers crowd around her as she sings. After each verse she belts out and poses, they briefly stop and bow to her.

You couldn't understand what was being said but judging by their actions, it seemed the animals finally accepted the chameleon due to the rainbow of colors.

A last long note as the animals pose in various positions around her until only the moon shines down on Yun Jin. She looks up at the moon as she starts her speech with an empty voice that rises with emotion.

"I am loved, adored, and nearly worshipped so why am I as lonely as before? If the only difference between the me before and the me now is the color, I display then is my color the only reason they love me? Is this the life I want? Is this the love I desire!?"

The drums beat and the music rings louder. The animal performers move away in a fast pace as Yun Jin tears off each flag. The animals scramble to pick each colored flag and hold it out to Yun Jin but she ignores them. Instead, she grabs the hairpin on her head and tears it off.

The animals run around her in a dance as longer flags that cover the sight of her fly around. When she's revealed she's back in her normal clothes and a single dagger lies in her grasp.

"If that is the only way I will ever be loved then this life of mine is as useless as my colors."

With a single motion the dagger is 'stabbed' into her heart, and she falls backwards with the animal performers catching her. They gently set her 'dead' body on the ground and mourn her. The curtains close and the audience erupts into cheers.

You clap and smile as the curtains open and the performers bow with Yun Jin in the front. For reasons unknown to you, the play had shaken your heart like an earthquake to a fragile little house.

Xinyan excitedly congratulates Yun Jin as you compliment her as well. Cotten in your ears make what they're saying muffled. Smiling you say your goodbyes and leave them. The ghost of Xinyan's hand reaching for your shoulder is ignored.

Instead you focus on what matters, your identity and living situation. Yun Jin already agreed to clear up the situation with Keqing, the horn given to you was safely in your bag, your job with the Guild was confirmed, and you avoided any high-profile acolytes that you're wary of.

Hopefully Yelan will never investigate you seeing as you stayed at the Yansheng Teahouse.

Out of curiosity you check the price of a week at a small motel. You promptly leave after they tell you it would cost 210,000 mora for a single week. If you paid that, you'd be fresh out of money by the end of the month. Things were expensive since it's Liyue but that was just too much.

You make your way to the bridge where the whole geovishap hatchling murder happened. Sleeping in the tent you bought is the much smarter and better financial decision... Even if it was the more dangerous one.

Not a single soul is around as you cross the bridge. The grass crunches under your shoes as the uneven stone makes your footsteps ring out in the night air. It turns into a dirt path and the city lights fade from how far you've gone.

Lighting the candle in your lantern you hold it out in front of you as you continue walking. The path splits and you stay on the right side due to the faint lanterns that are hung around that direction.

Cobblestone patio on the left and two huge identical stone statues on the right can be seen as you stand in the middle. The spot of dirt you choose to camp out on the patio gives you a perfect view of the statues. The mist flower and what you think is an adepti machine goes ignored.

It's been a quite a few years since you've ever had to put up a tent. But the survival skills come back to you quickly. With the tent set up and a small campfire going, you set a pot over it.

Swiftly you open the game screen and find the needed recipes for any simple food to make. The matsutake potatoes and meat are put into the pot and you turn your head to grab a plate. You aren't surprised to see it already done when you turn back.

You gobble down most of the matsutake meat rolls and stop when the bushes on your left begin to shake. Freezing mid-bite, you stare at the bush intently. When something begins to tumble out of it you jump to your feet and summon your sickle.

An unfortunately familiar bronze creature unravels itself from its ball and stares at you innocently. That damn geovishap hatchling has appeared again.

Sighing you flop back onto the ground with no fear. It may not have crimson liquid staining its body, but the smell of copper was still strong. There was no way it's not the hatchling you met in the city.

It creeps closer to you with every passing second. You can see the marks from Keqing's sword and electro cover its bedrock body. Taking pity on the poor hatchling, it's still a baby after all, you pat the spot beside you.

With a happy growl it sits next to you, and you give it the last of the meat rolls. Happy noises escape it as it carefully takes the food from your hands and eats it. That seems to have completely softened the reptile as it snuggles into your side.

Despite what it did earlier, your heart melts like wax under the sun, and you pet its head. You scold it in a faint voice.

"You shouldn't go into the city, it's dangerous. Now that your friend is gone, it'll be easier for you to get hurt. Stay close with your family so that you don't get hurt."

It's eyes close and it whimpers. It may not understand your words, but the main message seemed to have resonated with it. Your hand brushes against one of its injuries and it flinches.

Should you use some of the ointment from your medical kit to help it? With purpose you drag your finger lightly over its cuts and scraped areas. The wounds begin to glow gold and you close your eyes from the brightness.

Once it dims you open them to see the injuries healed.

Being the creator is one thing, but being the equivalent of a Statue of the Seven to the creatures is another. You're basically capable of healing everything but yourself!

The brief annoyance fades into fondness as the hatchlings springs up and rolls around in happiness. A sudden wave of exhaustion hits you making you groan and struggle to stand up.

You put out the fire and crawl into the tent, the bed is welcomed after such an exhausting day. The rough ground beneath the thin bedding and cold air nipping your skin brings back memories of the years you spent sleeping in alleyways and parks.

Maybe comparing yourself to a Statue of a Seven was more accurate than you thought. As the creator you shouldn't be this exhausted after healing minor wounds. So, it would make sense that you would need to practice or gain more power through touching the Statues of the Seven in order to heal more without getting exhausted.

Your train of thoughts slow down as sleep overtakes you. The faint thudding of the hatchling outside makes you feel somewhat safe. Is this life something you'll truly get used to? Or will you end up giving up like the chameleon?

And it's done! Now that Y/N has some freedom, I can start implemeting certain game ascepts. And if I don't enter specific ones then I probably forgot so feel free to comment any that you would want to see! This chapter was supposed to be just a nice day of touring Liyue and the geovishap hatchling was supposed to be annoying/cute and progress the plot. But damn did it get darker. I do want to say that Kazuha's last line wasn't him removing himself from his obsession. Kazuha is a very self-reflective character and all that he's gone through has added to that. I originally was going to have the opera nameless and just a quick description less show, but I had fun writing one that would fit with the plot. Welp time to finish 100% the Summer event! Taglist: @vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl, @bebobeboben, @yuyuzi-ling, @amidst-the-tempest, @resident-cryptid, @mxd1zzy, @mochicurls21, @nervouseaglelover, @thedevioussmirk, @yumuramma, @kwqsla, @undecidingfate, @ehjane, @game-savvy, @akiramirae, @sielt, @fluffy-koalala, @formacoon, @sxftiebee, @khxii-i, @ursinaw, @chuuya-brainrot, @sweetbills, @kazuchaos, @snowfoxnix, @bluebelony, @conspicuous-mayonnaise, @pencil-of-ashes, @ghostlyintervention, @taiformaifoe, @sielt, @goaudduck, @carminerin, @maddysflowers, @zenith-of-all-zeniths, @crazydreamcat, @leafanonsforest, @grimreapersscythe, @leylanx, @undecidingfate, @sapphireknown, @help-whatdoimakemyusername, @zhonglisfruityass, @fluffy-koalala, @mer0n37, @victoria1676, @mochinessss, @sinnful-darling

[thepersonperson]

Sukuna Can't Tell the Time (The unique way Sukuna is damned to eternal miscommunication and existentialism in the modern era.)

Notes before we start.

1) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility. 

2) I need professional help.

(Click images for captions/citations.)

Preface

I want to get one thing out of the way. This is going to be a weird write-up because I'm hardly going to cite the manga.

I'm basically posting this as a reference for myself. All of this occurred so I could properly lean into the old man aspect of Sukuna for a fic I'm writing. (Aka I read too much on actual Heian Era history and now you all have to suffer.)

People often joke that Sukuna is an old man, but I'm here to tell you he is so out of touch and out of time that he might as well be existing in a never-ending Lovecraftian nightmare where time has stopped being real.

It's going to take a while to explain why this is the case so hear me out, maybe?

Fundamental Measurements

What is a unit of measurement? And where did these units come from? If you've taken an entry level physics class, you've already been through the existential crisis answering these questions caused.

But for the uninitiated, have you ever sat down and asked yourself why you know what a foot/meter is? Everyone has kind of agreed they represent a specific distance, and depending on where you were raised, you'll prefer one over the other.

I'm an American. I'm also an engineer. I have to use SI Units and Freedom Units all the time. Differing distance units are things I can easily conceptualize. I understand what a meter is. It's like 3.3 feet.

Every time I hear meter, my brain does the conversion to 3.3 feet because I was raised with feet as my base unit of measurement. But oddly enough, when I hear 100 meters, I instantly know how far that is. This is because I was a sprinter for all of Jr. High and High School. When someone says 100 meters, I picture the got danged torture stretch of the 300 meter hurdles.

The point of this is to establish that early life experiences become a reference point when thinking about things as an adult. If I didn't run track or do engineering, I would be a "What the fuck is a kilometer?" type American.

Measurements of Miscommunication

If you couldn't tell, I wrote the previous section with Non-Americans in mind. I specified the units of measurement I was using for distance because I understand people outside of the US could be reading my post.

But what happens if I don't do that? What happens when people assume everyone's units of measurement are the same as theirs? Allow me to recall a conversation I'm sure most of you Non-Americans have had with an American on the internet and vice versa.

Friend, Non-American: Ugh it's 40 degrees out today.

Me, American: Dang that sounds pretty cold, don't forget to wear a jacket.

Friend, Non-American: What the hell do you meant that's cold???

Me, American and remembering where they live: OH YOU MEAN CELSIUS. That's 104 in Freedom Units.

Friend, Non-American: 104 IS SUPER DEAD IN CELSIUS.

(40°F is 4.4°C btw.)

As you can see, these kind of assumptions relay drastically different information. 40 degrees without a unit is read as cold or hot depending on where a person is from. It also doesn't help that the conversion between these units is nonsense. The vast majority of people can't do °C = (°F − 32) × 5/9 off the top of their head.

I, for the life of me, cannot comprehend Celsius. Temperature is too abstract a concept for my brain to swap systems. I think there's a reason for this.

Unlike distance, you can't see the temperature with your body. You can feel it, sure, but sometimes you step into a walk-in freezer and come out feeling like everything is warmer than it is. Relativity like that won't affect how you see distance. A foot is a foot, a meter is a meter, and they will always look those distances. You can check them easily.

Temperature? You need a thermometer to check. Or you assume the generalized data on a weather app is accurate. And things like humidity can fudge with your perception it.

This is all to say that my brain assigned the number 40 as cold. It being a hot number is barely comprehensible because my foundation is it being cold.

(If you were wondering, yes this is why I write out dates like Month DD, YYYY. It's so no one has to look at 3/4/YYYY and guess if they're supposed to be reading it as March 4th or April 3rd because they can't tell what country I'm from.)

What does this have to do with Sukuna?

Well my dear reader, my question to you is: What units of measurement were used in the Heian Era?

Forget about distance and temperature. How was time measured in the Heian era?

Heian Era Timekeeping

Ancient Japan ran on something called a Lunisolar Calendar. This is a type of calendar based around moon phases and sun positioning hence, lunisolar.

Taken directly from Wikipedia:

"A lunisolar calendar is a calendar in many cultures, incorporating lunar calendars and solar calendars. The date of lunisolar calendars therefore indicates both the Moon phase and the time of the solar year, that is the position of the Sun in the Earth's sky. If the sidereal year (such as in a sidereal solar calendar) is used instead of the solar year, then the calendar will predict the constellation near which the full moon may occur. As with all calendars which divide the year into months there is an additional requirement that the year have a whole number of months. In some cases ordinary years consist of twelve months but every second or third year is an embolismic year, which adds a thirteenth intercalary, embolismic, or leap month.

Their months are based on the regular cycle of the Moon's phases. So lunisolar calendars are lunar calendars with – in contrast to them – additional intercalation rules being used to bring them into a rough agreement with the solar year and thus with the seasons."

Did you notice something funky? A leap month has to be accounted for with this calendar. And it gets worse. The duration between leap months vary because the earth's path around the sun varies.

Under this calendar system, instead of a fixed interval of time always passing for a year, everything is variable. This means conversion to a modern date, which uses fixed time intervals, is not a one to one thing. It's kind of like trying to convert February 29th to non-leap years. Some people born on this day celebrate on February 28th and others will use March 1st. Legally speaking in the US, March 1st is used for tallying. (And if you've seen the Pirates of Penzance, this is an actual plot point when trying to determine a character's contract clause.) So imagine that but for months, years, and hours all the time.

I exclude days from this issue because Heian Japan agreed that a day was as day. They don't shrink or grow. The 12 hours a day always pass! And yes I mean 12 hours a day.

Heian Hours

For the rest of this discussion I'm referencing this lovely source by Katherine M. Lawrence. Everything quoted is from here.

So... let's get into that 12 hour day thing.

"Days consisted of 12 hours based on the 12 zodiac animals, each Heian hour being equal to about two modern hours. In a moment I will get to why I deliberately used the word “about.”

Days were divided into six “hours” of daylight and six “hours” of darkness. Instead of midnight, the day started at daybreak. Only in the Meiji times, in 1867, did the day change at midnight.

What is fascinating is that there were always six “hours” of daylight and six “hours” of night irrespective of the time of year. In modern times, with mechanical and even atomic clocks, we accept that more daylight falls in summer than in winter. We might turn back or move our clocks forward twice a year. In Japan it was done 24 times a year—approximately every 14 to 16 days—so that the first light would always come during the first “hour” of the day, which was known as the Hour of the Rabbit, sometimes called the Hour of the Hare. Dusk would come at the Hour of the Bird, sometimes called the Hour of the Rooster.

If we were to measure the actual length of winter days using a modern timepiece, the Hour of the Rabbit would be shorter than two hours because the relatively shorter total daylight in winter would still be distributed into six parts.

The six nighttime hours in winter would absorb the extra darkness and be proportionately longer than the nominal two hours of our 24-hour clock.

All this kept the astrologers and priests busy, because every 14 to 16 days, the clocks had to be adjusted. “More on that in a minute,” which by the way, is an idiom the Japanese of the era would not have used, because our modern concept of sixty minutes to an hour and sixty seconds to a minute is highly tied to mechanical clocks."

In summary, Heian Hours quite literally grow and shorten depending on the season. That 1 Heian Hour=2 Modern Hours conversion only works when daylight hours are the exact same as nighttime hours.

But it gets even weirder than that. Rather than counting from 1 to 12 for daytime and nighttime like we might on our modern clocks, Heian Japan counted down from 9 to 4 twice. This results in a clock conversion that looks like this.

And remember, this is only accurate when daylight hours are equal to nighttime hours!

It should also be noted that these hours were announced by the ringing of temple bells throughout the day and the night. Everyone relied on these temples to keep the time at all times.

But wait, there's more! (Heian Months and Solar Stems)

This is where timekeeping really starts to fall apart in terms of my understanding of it so Ms. Katherine M. Lawrence is going to explain it.

"In the Heian period (and until 1867), each month began on the dark moon, also know as the new moon. The full moon would come on the 15th day and the month would end approximately on the 28th, sometimes the 29th, and even the 30th day of the month.

Japanese did not have the western concept of the seven-day week, though they certainly could count to seven. What they had instead was the concept of the solar stem, of which there were 24."

"The first solar stem of the Japanese year starts on the first day of the year: Start of Spring, which, unlike the Western calendar, is not  in March. The Last Solar Stem (the 24th) ends on the last day of Major Cold. The beginning of the year in Japan, as measured by the Western calendar, would start somewhere between mid-January and mid-February, the variation resulting from aligning the solar stems with the lunar months."

In summary, Heian Months may be about the same length as Modern Months, but they are strictly based on the moon phases and the 24 Solar Stems are anchored around them.

This leaves us with a conversion calendar that looks like this. (Edited to number the Solar Stems.)

And remember, this is approximate. The Solar Stems do not always align with these exact Georgian calendar dates.

The lunar months, of course, do not use our calendar date names. I present a summary table based on several people's documentation (Source 1, Source 2, Source 3) since sadly the other blogger didn't include them:

(Jan-Feb) Mutsuki (睦月) Month of Harmony/Affection 

(Feb-Mar) Kisaragi (如月) Month of Changing of Clothes

(Mar-Apr) Yayoi (弥生) Month of Plant Growth/New Life

(Apr-May) Uzuki (卯月) Month of Deutzia Flowers

(May-Jun) Satsuki (皐月) Month of Planting Rice

(Jun-Jul) Minazuki (水無月) Month of Water/No Gods 

(Jul-Aug) Fumizuki (文月) Month of Literature

(Aug-Sep) Hazuki (葉月) Month of Leaves  

(Sep-Oct) Nagatsuki (長月) The Long Month    

(Oct-Nov) Kannazuki (神無月) Month of Gods    

(Nov-Dec) Shimotsuki (霜月) Month of Frost     

(Dec-Jan) Shiwasu (師走) Month of Running Priests  

This table merges multiple sources because the translations of Kanji differ and it's good to see how/why these differences occur. There's also the issue of the bloggers presenting the months like 1-to-1 conversions.

I want to stress that these Lunar Months start and end anywhere from the middle to the late parts of Georgian Months. This is why Source 1 claims Mutsuki=Feb while Sources 2 & 3 claim Mutsuki=Jan. Source 1 chose Feb because the majority of Mutsuki occurs in Feb while Sources 2 & 3 chose Jan because Mutsuki technically starts in late Jan.

Now that I've laid all this out, I'm sure you have the following burning question:

How the hell do you convert modern time to Heian time???

I turn to Ms. Katherine M. Lawrence again for guidance.

"If this post gets some interest, I will continue and explain how the author calculates..."

There's no guidance.

However! There is an example of a conversion without the explanation.

"Thus, we know as Yamabuki and Tomoe ride up to the Shayō Tōge, the Sunset Pass, at Sunset on May 11, 1172, in the middle of a freak snowstorm, the author can say with some assurance that it happened at the Hour of the Bird on the 13th day of the 7th solar stem, two days past the full moon of the Flower Month."

So I'm going to try to figure out how this occurred using the information I've been given.

Hour of the Bird: This one is easy! The bird hour is the official sunset hour.

7th Solar Stem: According to the chart that's between late April and early May.

13th Day: Since Solar Stems are about 14-16 days this means it's almost the 8th Solar Stem which starts around May 21st.

2 days past the full moon of the Flower Month: "Flower Month" is not on my chart. From what I know about kanji, I think this is a simplification of Uzuki (卯月) or the the Month of Deutzia Flowers. This aligns with the month of May.

This is where I give up. I legitimately do not know where to go from here. ...And that's my point.

What does this have to do with Sukuna?

Before I completely lose you, my dearest most patient reader, please consider the following:

You wake up in a place where time is counted backwards and the hours pass faster than you've ever known them to. The things you use to tell the time don't exist or are in a form you no longer can recognize.

You see a clock face that counts in the wrong direction to numbers you've never seen used for time. The sounds it makes are familiar and foreign all at once. When you try to use the times and dates everyone you ever knew understood instantly, you're met with complete confusion. No one except a few dedicated scholars know how to convert your concept of time to theirs.

This is how Sukuna experiences time in the modern era.

Sukuna Can't Tell the Time (Sukuna almost fumbled his date with Gojo.)

Remember all my rambling about my own experiences with trying to understand SI Units as a Freedom Units user and my complete and utter failure to convert Heian Time to Modern Time? This is to establish that on a fundamental level, it does not matter that Sukuna has access to his vessel's memories. These foreign units mean nothing without a conversion reference.

Yuta in Gojo's body showed us how the memory recollection process works. You see them like movie and must draw your understandings from them.

We also learn from Sukuna that he tends to ignore memories that aren't relevant to his sorcery. So something mundane like telling the time isn't his priority. (I often think about how Sukuna has been watching Yuji and everyone around him use a cell phone but he still calls it a photography device.)

(He's lying about the flowers though.)

So this leads us to Sukuna and Gojo setting the date for their battle...

When Sukuna heard Kenjaku say November 19th and Gojo say December 24th his brain was the equivalent of TV static. It's very likely that Sukuna had to rely on Kenjaku to ensure he showed up at the right day. (Kenjaku, of course, is an exception here because instead of drawing from memories, Kenny got to live through the transitional period of the Lunisolar Calendar to the Georgian Calendar and had 100+ years to adjust to it. And now that I think about it, the Culling Game using days to count time is probably Kenjaku being considerate of this generational difference.)

It's a really good thing that Gojo didn't specify the time because that would've made things worse. See the following examples using the handy dandy conversion chart as a reference...

Gojo: Let's do this at 10.

Sukuna: ???

Gojo: Let's do this at 9.

Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 2 hours late at 11 am.*

Gojo: Let's do this at 8.

Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 5 hours late at 1 pm.*

Gojo: Let's do this at 7.

Sukuna: *Shows up approximately 8 hours late at 3 pm*

Gojo: Let's do this at 6.

Sukuna: *Shows up on time?* (It’s December in the northern hemisphere so the sun comes up after 6. Sukuna might still show up a bit late.)

These examples also assume that Sukuna can still gauge Heian Hours accurately. That too is up in the air because the hourly bells that sounded the Heian Hours no longer exist. The temples and bells may remain, but their use for timekeeping has changed entirely.

Since it's likely he spent a large portion of his early life in a temple, there's a chance Sukuna has a strong internalized sense of Heian Hours. But how many people do you know that can accurately feel an hour pass on vibes alone?

There isn't any point in the manga where Sukuna indicates he knows what Georgian Month is, let alone a Modern Hour. I think that's why he's just waiting on top of the building for Gojo to show up. The day starts for him when the sun comes up, not midnight. He probably figured that as long as he was out there by dawn, eventually his date would show up.

There's something strangely adorable about that. Sukuna didn't go out massacring others for funsies or wreak havoc after Gojo was unsealed. He just waited a whole month and gambled on their connection starting the death date on time.

How Sukuna Might Tell the Time

When Sukuna uses time units, he only uses minutes or seconds.

Well...the narrator implies he's able to use seconds.

This makes sense despite the Heian Era not having minutes or seconds. They're foundational units rather than a unit he needs to convert to something mentally. Because they are so drastically smaller than other Heian units of time, it's easier for the brain to calibrate itself to them.

This means that if one wanted to communicate a duration of time to Sukuna, it would be better to use minutes or seconds.

For example, rather than saying "see you in an hour", "see you in 60 minutes" would be better. Otherwise Sukuna is going to default to 1 Heian Hour and show up approximately 2 hours late.

Another example, telling Sukuna you'll "be gone for a few hours" means to him that you'll be gone for most of the day. At this point it would be better to reference a duration of an activity he's familiar with than use minutes. Sukuna watched some of those movies with Yuji. "I'll be gone for 1-2 movies" will make a little more sense to him.

Funnily enough though, telling Sukuna that you work a 9-5 wouldn't cause a miscommunication for duration. That's 4 Heian Hours or about 8 Modern Hours. He probably thinks it's weird you start working in the middle of the day and into the night though.

How Sukuna tells time for himself is likely similar to someone lost in the wilderness. He'll mostly be relying on environmental cues like moon phase, sun position, constellations, and flora growth. (Which ironically, climate change affecting flora growth patterns would throw him off even more. I can't even imagine how he'd feel about light pollution stealing away the stars on top of that. But at least the moon is still there!)

But as you can see, the normal methods of precise timekeeping are next to impossible for Sukuna to use and this discrepancy is ripe for miscommunication. This has a lot of comedy and horror potential in fanworks. (Hence me writing this as a resource.)

How Sukuna Used to Tell the Time

After doing all this research, I found myself viewing Sukuna's theme Malevolent Shrine a little differently. I always found it to be a quite sad sounding song for his character. Villains as violent and fierce as Sukuna tend to get battle themes that reflect that. In comparison to high energy bangers like One-Winged Angel (Sephiroth Final Fantasy), Avalon (Ultimate Lifeform Kars Jojo), or The Last Mission (Murem vs Netero Hunter x Hunter), Malevolent Shrine is rather somber and unfocused.

This theme opens and closes with bells. The opening in particular feels chaotic with how the different bells seem to overlap and overwhelm each other. But if you listen closely, you'll hear the gong of a temple bell that keeps rhythm by marking the start of a new measure. Using this bell, it becomes easier to count the beats, even when it eventually disappears in the middle section.

His theme to me now feels like an echo of what Sukuna used to know before he was thrust into a world that is no longer in sync with his very concept of time.

"Interestingly, the Japanese “witching hour” is not at midnight, but at nominally 2 AM (1 AM–3 AM) and is known as the Hour of the Ox."

I don't really know where else to put this. Sukuna on his throne of ox skulls, a representation of the witching hour where reality falls apart and spirits come out to play.

How all this might look in action. (Defending my questionable writing choices.)

Though everything I've given is plenty enough for people to run wild with in fanworks, I would like to give examples of it in my own. My type of autism is one where it's easier for me have something to use as a direct reference. (Clear and concise instructions please.) So I want to provide that for anyone else wired similarly.

Context: The fic I'm writing is from Sukuna's POV so I've taken great care to avoid him using modern timekeeping terms. I have a timeline for everything outlined, but I refuse to make that clear to the reader so they can get the Sukuna Experience™.

Other characters will reference the time and give the reader little windows into what date it possibly is, but otherwise they have to infer it themselves.

But because I myself use modern time, I caught mistakes I made in an early chapter... (Aka before I realized Heian Timekeeping is Extremely Different.)

Old Sentence: The year is 2019.

Revised Sentence: The year is 2019 for the Common Era.

(Heian Japan was mimicking China so I'm assuming that the numbered years restarted with each era since I couldn't find how years were kept.)

Old Sentence: It’s reminding him he has not eaten for the past 5 hours and 38 minutes.

Revised Sentence: It’s reminding him he has not eaten since the hour of the dragon—338 minutes and counting.

(This one is self evident I think.)

But even within this chapter, I obscured the date by having Sukuna observe his surroundings. I don't think it's a good example so I'll use a different one from an unpublished draft.

...it occurs under the same wisteria and same midday sun. The branches and buds have begun to green and swell before the Flowering Moon has reached its full, an indication that the bloom will come early.

Wisterias bloom in late April around the time of full moon. April aligns with Yayoi or the Month of Plant Growth/New Life. I worked under the assumption that the moons can be called by their month names kind of like Native American moon names. But Plant Growth/New Life Moon didn't sound good to me so I changed it to Flowering.

So I do have a very specific date for when this scene occurs, but Sukuna doesn't know so the reader doesn't know. The best you can guess is sometime in April but you have to know when Wisterias typically bloom and what a Flowering Moon might be. (I'm hoping this kind of vague timekeeping disorients the reader and causes frustration. I used sun, moon, and star positioning charts for this got dang it.)

Tools to Use for Weird Timekeeping

Chinese Calendar Conversions

Solar Stem Converter

(This one is annoying to use because they don't use the translated names but there is a definitions table.)

Lunar Calendar Converter

(Unfortunately it only allows for 1901-2100. You can probably infer the lunar month via the Solar Stem Converter for older dates.)

Celestial Bodies

For star/constellation positions in the night sky use this:

Sky & Telescope Interactive Sky Chart

(Yes you can even change the location and time to get the exact night sky the characters might be looking at.)

For sun positions and sunrise/sunset times use this:

SunCalc

For moon positions and moonrise/moonset times use this:

MoonCalc

(If you want to see a summary of moon phases by month this tool is helpful.)

Why have you done this?

I don't know. Please enjoy my perverse obsession with the little details.

[vulpixisananimal]

(You gently close the door to Sifs room and lean back on the wall next to it. Change, what a morning.)

(You rub your temple. Alright, alright, analyse and compartmentalise, Siffrin, no, Loop, had told you a lot and you had to relay it to the others. Are they all going to take it well? You couldn't exactly keep it secret.)

(Oh boy. . .)

(You walked down to the where Nille and Odile were sitting for breakfast. Nille waved good morning.) "Hey big guy, how's Siffrin doing?"

"Oh, bad." (You sigh and sit down.) "Where do I even start."

"Never a good sign." (Odile comments from behind her book.)

"W-well, right now they're resting up. They have craft exhaustion and are pretty hungry. I was going to grab them some food."

"I got it!" (Nille stood up and scooped up some of breakfast.) "Not surprised, time crafts s'pposed to be impossible for a reason."

"Even one loop should kill them, really." (Odile adds.)

"Ah, well, about that." (You rub your neck.) "When everyone's back there's a lot to explain."

"Ah."

"Ominous, I'll be quick then." (Nille runs off with the food.)

(You pick at your own breakfast, quesadillas, just like Loop said. You took a bite, tasty!)

(You think while you eat; how many times had they eaten this breakfast? Well, if you had the same thing for breakfast over and over you might go crazy! And it's even made the exact same way every time.)

". . . Isabeau." (Odile starts.) "Did you get to ask?"

"Hrk-" (You choke a little, Crab!! You forgot!!) "N-no, I didn't. T-there was uh, something a bit more important going on."

"It sounded intense." (Back to her book.) "Argument?"

"Not really. . ." (You rub your shoulder.) "I-I'll, I'll ask them out another time! When things have calmed down."

(Nille returns to you and Odile chatting.) "They're out like a stone, don't think I've ever seen someone so sleepy."

"That sounds like Sif!"

"I doubt anything short of the King coming back would wake them up."

"Knock on wood." (Nille replies, nocking on the wood table as she sat down.)

". . . What?" (Odile looks up, confused.)

"Knock on wood! It's an old tradition to stop you from jinxing yourself. And I don't exactly want the King to come back."

"Ah I see." (Book down, researcher mode.) "Where does that tradition come from? Is it Vaugardian?"

"I don't think so," (She thought for a second.) "Actually, I got no idea where I got it from. Maybe I got it from someone in Bambouche."

"Could be one of those 'Sif things.'" (You comment.)

"Ah yes, the 'Sif things'" (Odile continues.) "I would not be surprised if this was another 'Siffrin thing', with how many little traditions seem to be tied to it."

"Like that thing they told Boniface to do? On their birthday?" (Nille asks.)

(Odile nods.) "Exactly so. Now let's pause this conversation before we get headaches, shall we?"

(You nod, right. It was always a pain to talk about 'Sif things' as you all had come to call it. Island talk. Wish craft. Rituals and- ow. Alright message recieved, back to casual non-island conversation.)

"Hmm. . . Is it tradition research?" (Nille asks after a second.)

"No, wrong." (Odile shakes her head, back to the book.)

"Awww."

"You'll get it sometime Nille!" (You say encouragingly.)

"How long did it take you again?"

"It took me a few months, and Sif figured it out durring the loops sooooo. ."

"I'll try and do it quicker then." (She rolls her eyes.)

(At long last Mirabelle and Bonnie joined in from doing their morning routine and took a seat. The casual chatter continued as you all finished breakfast.)

". . . Where's 'Frin?" (Bonnie asks.)

"He's resting up, I guess that loop yesterday really took it outta them." (Nille ruffles Bonbons hair.) "Was too busy saving our lil' scoundril."

"Ah, right, about that." (You clear your throat.) "Former saviors of Vaugarde I, Isabeau, am calling a very serious no jokes meeting into order!"

(Odile let out a half-laugh.) "Good start."

"Oh Madame! That's no way to act durring such a serious meeting!" (Mirabelle replies in a poshy accent.)

"Quite so! For we are only the most serious of serious!" (You continue, before breaking out into a laigh.)

"A real comedy duo you two are." (Nille says, leaning back.) "So, what's the deal big guy?"

"Right!" (Alright, here goes, gotta tell em everything. Now, just like Sif does. You breathe in, and out.) "Well, for one, Siffrin isn't Siffrin right now. Remember the conversation yesterday? Well they're Loop right now, not Sif. Just, as a start."

"Alright. . ?" (Odile responds as if prompting you to continue.)

"But! The, uh, the real issue is that." (Ohboy.) "They've aparently been looping through today, with this being the, 8th or 9th time."

"Again?!?!"

"Oh gems. . ."

"Well that explains the exhaustion."

"Yeah," (You rub your shoulder.) "Last loop was aparently really bad, and they had a whole breakdown- oh Change I forgot to ask for details."

"W-we can ask them later! Once they're up." (Mirabelle looked nervous.) "Did they tell you a-anything though?"

"Oh they did! Uh. . ." (You tap your chin.) "Right, so, an old friend of mine, Ramos, who used to go by a different name I think- A-anyway! They've aparently been using mind craft on people, strong mind craft. It got Mirabelle in trouble for kidnapping Bonnie, and they changed my memory."

"What?"

"I- I wouldn't do that!! Why would they-"

"THAT'S CRABBING STUPID!!!"

"Language!"

"I-I know! I know it sounds bad and uh. . ." (Oooooh boy.) "Aparently last loop they tried confronting Ramos, and they turned into a sadness and we had to fight. Nille got hurt pretty bad, but we won."

". . . But?"

"I, they didn't tell me, but, aparently something bad happened to Ramos."

". . ."

". . ."

". . . What in the world could have been bad enough to go back again?" (Odile muses.)

"I, I don't want to think about it." (You shudder. Oh Ramos. . . You remember them, you would hang out sometimes, train together, and you'd help them out sometimes with exams. They had some troubles, but they were alright! They were a good person!)

"So. . . So what do we do?" (Mira asks.)

"Well. . ." (You think for a moment. Loop seemed so. . . Distressed. Desperate. Sad. All of that. You'd seen it all before when Siffrin walked up to you at the Favor tree, they looked so distant then. . . You couldn't let that happen again.) "We should get training just like we used to!"

"Huh???"

"Ah."

"REALLY?!?"

"Not you Boniface." (Nille replies.) "You're still a kid."

". . . Pétronille, I mean no disrespect, but I'm fairly certain Boniface is a stronger fighter than you are at this point." (Odiele counters.)

"HEY!!! I'm PLENTY tough!!!"

"Haha!! 'Dile called me stronger!!"

"Oh I'll show YOU strong ya lil-"

"A-alright! M-maybe save that or another time since, since we still need to figure out everything a-and-" (Mirabelle tries breaking them up. Her look of worry doing the trick instantly.)

"Ok, ok. But if Boniface is gonna fight I better be there."

"As long as it's on the backlines as well." (You respond.) "Dive in when there's an opening just like we used to do."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I do wonder though, how much, well, how much will it matter?" (Mira was pondering.) "If this isn't the last Loop, then, we would have done all this for nothing, and, w-well."

"I had a theory on that." (Odile adjusted her glasses, oh you loved this part.) "Siffrin said they started each loop waking up from their nap. Yesterday, Siffrin also looped back to waking up from their sleep, and I'm assuming todays loop started with them waking up too." (She tapped her chin.) "There's a good chance taking a proper sleep is linked to making a "checkpoint" of sorts."

"But what about the clock tower? Sif said we always had a sleepover there before going to the house." (You ask.)

"Hmm, good point." (she thought it over, then snapped her fingers.) "Ah! Didn't you plan to tell Siffrin your grand confession durring the sleepover?"

"M-m'dame!" (You hold up your hands deffencievly.) "What does that have to do with this?"

"You chickened out, duh." (Bonnie chimes in, smugly.) "I can already see you trying to talk to 'frin when everyones trying to sleep. Then holding off till after the King."

"O-oh..." (You try to sink into the floor. That, that would be something you do, yeah.)

"As easy to see through as a plane glass window." (Nille shakes her head.)

"L-lets move on-"

"Yes yes, so, my theory is that when Siffrin wakes up it'll be a new point they'll loop back to." (Odile stands up and stretches her back.) "Which means that anything we do before they wake up will do wonders for future loops."

"Oh!!! That's great!!!" (Mirabelle jumps up too, a new spring in her step.) "I'll get my sword! Oh it'll probably be dull by now too, oh! And I need to brush up on my combative crafts!!"

"And don't forget the-"

"I don't think I could ever forget the carrot method."

"CRAB!!" (Bonnie jumps up in a panic.) "I've been using those spare tonics for cooking!!!"

"Language, but a good point. I'll help ya look for more." (Nille gets up too.)

(Phew.) "I'm glad we figured all that out." (You stood up, and strike a big heroic pose.) "Siffrin, Loop, they're gonna get out of today! And we're gonna help them do it!!"

[throneofsapphics]

Congrats on 2K followers!🥳 chai maple cinnamon x reader please

summary: rowan, forced proximity, with spice

warnings: light smut-ish, modern!au

a/n: thank you so much!!!

coffee bar celebration

You hated your coworker … sometimes. But right now, with your back pressed against the cool metal, his body towering over yours, it was a little difficult to hate him. The ride to the top floor was long, just enough that his hand slipped up your skirts, the camera off in the corner. You groaned as long fingers slid between your folds, one slipping deep inside and curling, hitting the spot you fucking loved. He knew your body, you could say that.

He gripped your chin tightly, forcing your chin up. Your eyes met, stormy emerald drawing you in.

What you didn't hate, was how your body reacted to him. He knew that too well, and frequently used it against you.

The elevator jolted, his hand gripped your arm tightly, keeping you steady, jolted again, and stopped.

“Oh you're kidding me,” you cursed and stepped around him, shaking off his grip. Pressing every button, jamming your finger into them desperately, nothing moved. You were going to be late to your meeting, then your boss would absolutely find a way to pin it on you, especially because Whitethorn, his favorite, would be late too.

“Stop,” his rough tone made you pause, finger poised just above another button.

Cautiously, he gripped your shoulders and moved you to the side, instead pressing the call help button.

He spoke to the voice on the other side for a few minutes, going back and forth and explaining details.

“The fire department is coming,” he finally relayed to you, as if he'd known you zoned out, “we might want to get comfortable.”

As if you could actually be comfortable around him. If anyone could. Even your past trysts had been fraught with tension, never a dull or relaxing moment, except those sweet few minutes after he'd let you rest your head on his chest before it was time to leave.

Ten minutes must've passed before either of you spoke from your respective corners, and surprisingly it was him who broke the silence.

“Do you have any idea what that does to me?”

He gestured to your…chest. You looked down, your crossed arms had pushed your breasts up, you'd unknowingly undone a few of the buttons, or maybe they'd always been that way.

“Sounds like a personal problem,” you shrugged. Content to ignore him.

Whitethorn was not content with that. With something eerily like a growl, he stalked across the small space, each step seeming to last forever, and planted his hands above your head. Hand gripping your chin again, he tilted your head to the side, exposing the arch of your neck. His other hand trailed down your skin, stopping just above the curve of your breasts.

“Ridiculous,” he snarled, and left a kiss where your neck and shoulder met, before retreating a few steps, shaking his head.

“What's ridiculous?” You shot back at him,

“How fucking irresistible you are. How I can't get enough of you. How HR is going to write me up for this.”

He jerked his chin to the camera in the corner, now blinking red.

[miss-tc-nova]

With Reckless Choices - Leona Kingscholar x Reader Pt 2

I think I told someone I was posting Fri??? My bad. I post Thu (Aus time) which might actually be Wed (US time). Regardless, it will be consistent!

Premise: The illicit couple go on their first date.

Words: 2,399

Music Inspirations: Waves - Big Time Rush

~~~Convince Me~~~

               Fabric smooths beneath anxious hands as I peer into the mirror. This isn’t what normally dwells within my closet, but for the sake of concealment, I suppose this suits just fine. It’s honestly far more casual than anything I should ever be caught in. I kind of like it.

               As the day draws to an end and the city begins to settle, a flicker of light catches my eyes from the bed. His impatience is relayed clearly.

               Eyes roll as I return the thing to its hiding place beneath the mattress.

               I shouldn’t go. It’s a terrible idea—and with the prince of another nation to boot. I’ve got to be the biggest fool in all of Twisted Wonderland for even being convinced at all.

               But then I remember those words, sugar-coated venom yet still so sweet. Each sound wove through my thoughts, crafting desire that so easily broke my fealty. He uttered each perfect syllable he needed to lure me into his trap, all while I was aware he was doing so.

               He saw through me the moment we met.

               Even knowing all that, magic reaches for that thread and fingers glide through the air. Black energy traces my movement, spreading through the air to force another space within reach, through which I step.

               Trees rustle against the crimson sky, the looming castle far above with its back to me. A low growl rumbles around another tree.

               “Shoulda known I’d be stood up. Coward.”

               Peering around, I see that tufted tail flicker with annoyance—I almost want to grab it. Instead, I stroll closer.

               “Surely you don’t mean me.”

               The lion whips around with lightning reflexes, his magic pen drawn. That is, until he realizes who sneaked up on him. Harlequin eyes scan me over as if he actually believed his insult.

               “I’ll be damned.”

               A cheeky smile pulls at my lips. “I’m sure you are.”

               “Hilarious,” he scoffs.

               Venturing closer, I glance around. “So what’s this grand date you intend to woo me with?”

               “’Woo’? That’s the word you’re going with?”

               “Is that not what you’re doing?” I raise a brow at him, knowing his truth.

               “That’s definitely not how I would put it.”

               Arms fold. “Then how would you put it?”

               Ears go flat and eyes narrow, knowing he has no better answer. “Shut it.”

               It takes effort not to snort at his response. “Then where are we going?”

               “There’s a decent spot back here to see the stars. Thought it might be good to start your exciting double life with something simple.” Starting off strong attempting to push some buttons.

               “Oh I see. You’re just not trying at all,” I tease.

               He huffs. “What do you want from me?”

               “Well I would’ve at least picked a better location than behind Night Raven College.” My mockery is clear.

               “We’re on an island. It’s not as if I can just take off school whenever I want. I’d prefer not to be held back again.”

               It’s finally my turn to have the upper hand. “Then all you had to do was ask.”

               His scowl quirks to confusion. “What?”

               Raising my hand, I draw through the air, bringing about another portal. Through it lies an endless sea of sand. Leona gives me a scrutinous expression before sticking his head through. Not wanting to stick around much longer, I unceremoniously bump the lion through the door and follow after.

               Stranded in the desert, it’s desolated as far as the eye can see. Yet while the ground seems vastly bleak, accompanied by the painted sky it’s a wondrous view.

               The lion interrupts my musing of the sunset with his sputtering.

               He spits out a mouthful of sand as he stands. “What the hell—” I’m quite fond of the surprise that overtakes his surly expression. “Where are we?”

               “In the middle of the Scalding Sands.”

               “Teleportation magic is one of the hardest magics to use.” The gears are turning, eyes working over me. “That’s a nice necklace you got there.”

               “Thank you.” My fingers graze the magestone.

               “But even that’s not enough to get us all the way here.” A smirk born on his lips infects mine as well. “Unless that’s your unique magic.”

               “Oh you are a clever kitty. It uses quite a bit of magic, but I can teleport to anywhere I’ve been before.”

               This is a whole new game for Leona. “Oh this changes things. Have you ever been to Rafiki Port?”

               It takes me a moment to sift through my memories. “That’s in the Sunset Savana, right?”

               “Yeah, near the northern point. There’s a giant baobab tree in the center of town.”

               “I…passed through there once.”

               A finger points at me. “That’s where I wanna go.”

               I feign indignance. “Well aren’t you bossy.”

               All my confidence goes right out the window as the gap between us closes and my hands are now captive in his. There’s a stutter in my heart at the excitement sparking in his eyes.

               “Trust me.”

               I should be ashamed at sudden weakness in my tone. “Alright.”

               Concentration brings me a thread, a memory of the tree and soon, the surrounding village. Magic flows through my gem, weaving down to the tips of my fingers where I draw another line. That line splits to insert the door that fulfill Leona’s request.

               Like a child in a toy store, he steps through the portal, but pauses. A hand reaches back for me.

               That look on his face almost makes me want to believe in him—like I really am important. I take that offer.

               From the portal we step at the base of the enormous tree that serves as the town’s landmark. What would normally be a bustling tourist trap is just beginning to settle down—shops are beginning to close and people amble between bars and homes in various states of inebriation.

               “Put this on.” Leona’s stripped jacket is wrapped around my shoulders. My brain hitches on the gesture until the hood is yanked over my eyes. “And keep your head down.”

               “Yes, very bossy,” I grumble, shoving my hands through the sleeves. “What’s the plan now?”

               “Just wait here. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

               And he’s gone before I can even voice my concern.

               So here I stand, waiting beneath a tree that dwarfs the town by twice the height, in a foreign nation, head down and trying not to draw attention to myself.

               I can’t believe I’m doing this. I must be the most idiotic person alive to be willingly in this situation. The entirety of Twisted Wonderland is now dangerous territory, for if even a single soul were to see us, that would be the end—for both of us.

               Yet while my mind spirals, warm spice slows the fall. Behind it, sweet citrus and amber sneak through to quell the tumultuous thoughts, all while luring me towards soothing consolation. Compelled to breathe deep, this bliss leaves me numb to my own rationale and intoxicated on a scent unlike anything in Briar Valley. Even the sleeves against my face can’t satiate my sudden addiction.

               Skidding dirt tears me from my new fixation. Behind the wheel of an off-road vehicle sits my date.

               It takes a moment for my senses to register. “Did you just purchase a vehicle?”

               “Borrowed,” he corrects smugly. “Get in.”

               Unfamiliar with vehicles, I slide into the passenger seat. “Is this not where you wanted to take me?”

               “It was as close as I could get ‘cause I doubt you’ve ever been where we’re goin.’”

               “And where’s that?”

               Teeth gleam in that grin. “You’ll see.”

               My eye roll elicits a laugh from the lion. Then his hand lands on my knee, sending a rush of blood into my ears.

               “Settle in. It’ll take us about an hour to get there.”

               “Someplace remote, hm. Not taking me out for something more sinister, are you?”

               “Nah, that would be too much effort.”

               “And this isn’t?”

               “Not with you around.”

               Silly banter fills the time while the scenery ambles by. Safari plains eventually give way to the trees of jungle while the road twists and turns. Then it disappears altogether when Leona turns off the path, heading towards the cliffs that had been overseeing our trip.

               I lean through the window, seeing absolutely no indication of a route. “Are you certain you know where we’re going?”

               “Relax. ‘Sides, if we do end up lost, you can get us out in a heartbeat.”

               “I suppose…”

               Stone walls part for our car, revealing a gap just wide enough for the vehicle to slip through. Foliage quickly thins, sand taking over the dirt. Then it all gives way to the gentle, swaying ocean.

               I have to give it to him, this small, secluded beach is beautiful. Gentle water mirrors the sky dappled in shades of blue and purple, glittering with stars in the moon’s absence. It’s the perfect little place for us to hide away.

               “Leona, it’s—”

               “Hold up. It gets better. Take your shoes off.”

               Again, I’m left speechless at his request, but comply and take his hand when he opens my door.

               Soft sand sifts between my toes, the man leading me towards the water. As we approach, I notice a tint of blue beneath our steps. My gaze shifts back to the water lapping at the beach, leaving behind a soft light lining each wave. At every motion, it glows.

               “What is this?” I whisper.

               “Algae.” With his hand, Leona flicks the water, sending blue lights across the surface. “It washes up once or twice a year. We’re actually pretty lucky.”

               This is like being in a whole other world—far, far away from home.

               “It’s beautiful.”

               “Good.”

               Without warning, water splashes against my face. Recovery from the shock takes a second or two, but I can just make out Leona’s mischievous grin. An inner child gets the better of me as I kick water back at him. I can’t even remember the last time I got to indulge in frivolous antics like this. It’s always about appearances and bringing honor to my future family. But this moment of pure joy feels like the highlight of my entire life—even though it’s late, even though I’m drenched, and even though I shouldn’t be here.

               Another splash of aethereal water falls on the lion before I take off down the beach. Only three or four steps I make when his arms catch me by the waist and drag me in. Captive to his strength, I cling to the man while he carries me to deeper water before ungraciously throwing us both in. Laughter fills my ears as we break the surface, the water now a cool contrast against my burning skin.

               Glowing flecks cling to his skin and hair, their blue hue bringing out the green of his eyes. His happiness has a vice on my heart, dragging me in, but that changes when so does his intention.

               The lion leans closer, his confidence palpable. His eyes are alight with sultry and I’m sure he’d be purring if he could. His warm breath ghosts my skin, stealing away my own. The smallest tilt of his head tells me exactly what he’s about to do next.

               And I want to. I want so badly to feel those smug lips and taste the ocean on his skin. But there’s too much that I know. This is what he’s been working for ever since he gave me that phone. Leona wants one thing and, unfortunately, it’s not me.

               A single finger puts a halt to his advance.

               “Hold on there, Kingscholar,” I say. Rife with disappointment in us both, I keep my voice light.

               That charm flips as his mouth screws in annoyance and an ear flickers.

               “Still playin’ hard to get?” Regaining his charisma, his hand takes mine, pressing seductive kisses to my skin. “You already got my attention.”

               “I know I do.” The hand unoccupied pushes the hair from his face. “But petty jealousy isn’t enough for me to take that risk. The Draconia’s would ruin me if they found out; I’m certain they could even have my head. But right now, I could walk away and claim that this was just a friendly outing—never to see each other again.” Rubbing one of those ears between my fingers just as I wanted, I earn a minor scowl. In return, my nose scrunches at him. “So if you want this to continue, you’re going to have to convince me.”

               “Convince you, huh?” he hums. When he stands, a hand is offered me. “And how would I go about doing that?”

               It’s actually surprising that Leona accepts my gambit. He gives up this chase for another, apparently ready to play the long con. I wasn’t prepared for that.

               “Well, you may first want to reconsider this game of yours if all you want is a petty point. There will be retaliation should anyone find out.” We wander across the sand back towards the vehicle. “But I’m fairly certain you know that, don’t you.”

               His chuckle rumbles. “Course.” A towel from the vehicle is passed into my hands. “I’m always thinkin’ ten steps ahead.”

               Of course he is. Even after just learning of my unique magic, he managed to pull together this incredible outing. On top of his looks, he’s clever and smart and pretty damn lucky.

               So this is where our adventure ends, with Leona cranking up the heater and driving us back to the village to return our borrowed car. I’m keenly aware how comfortable our chatter has become, but even more aware of the warm hand resting on my leg.

               Stepping through my magic back onto campus, he peers around. “So if you can only teleport to where you’ve been before, are you tellin’ me you’ve been in these woods before?”

               “Just once, when the prince first enrolled. The headmage took him on a tour and I was left to wander on my own.”

               His head shakes. “Guess it worked out in my favor.”

               My finger traces his sleeve. “For me as well. I enjoyed tonight.”

               As I draw a final portal home, Leona asks, “So you gonna let me take you out again sometime?”

               I pass through my magic, turning back to grin at the lion.

               “I look forward to seeing you convince me.”

~~~~~

Part 3

Nova’s Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

[ohanny]

change host club show

part 3/3

part 1

part 2

sailub as the dj

sailub got his start as a club dj with benz’s mother and even though his popularity exploded, he has stayed loyal. while he he has a contract with a record label and does the occasional tour and festival gig, in bangkok he performs exclusively at her clubs. in order to create hype for the relaunch, benz decides to bring sailub in. sadly sailub does not think benz the estranged son deserves any kind of family discount so after their appearance fee negotiations, benz has to go cry in the bathroom for a bit. while sailub used to be a big party boy back in the day, he took it a bit too far and is now totally sober but as anyone who has been to nightclubs totally sober knows, it can be a pain in the ass which makes him slightly grumpy.

pon as the new kid

pon is already a bit of an influencer. while stuck at home during the pandemic he started doing product review videos on tiktok and sort of blew up but he's not in lockdown anymore and he feels like he's going nowhere. he misses people. he wants the attention in person. so when he sees the flyer for an open audition at the host club, he figures he could try it out. it seems like easy enough of a gig and his most watched videos are kpop dance covers so he shows up, shakes some ass and flirts a bit. then he almost screws it all up by throwing a tantrum when a sceptical benz asks for his birth certificate because no way he is 29. luckily a bit of diva just makes benz go “oh, you'll fit right in” and “how do you feel about fire?” because, as mentioned, benz has a vision and it might involve flaming whips.  

lee as the jack of all trades

lee showed up to install the security cameras and sort of… never left. he does anything and everything from watching the cameras to barbacking to entertaining guests. he is absolutely the biggest gossip in the place and plays both sides by snitching to benz and then relaying everything benz says to babe. you simply can't tell him anything unless you want everyone to know it but, like, not in a malicious way. he's just a chronic yapper. they love him for it. currently interning under pop who has a vision of his own that revolves around putting lee in a dress.

bonus:

nut: i think garfield is trying to find a sugar daddy

benz: sounds fake. that would take an actual effort.

nut: he asked two of my friends about how much money they make and if they're allergic to cats.

benz: …

garfield: well, i don't want to work forever

nut: girl, you barely work, period

garfield: if i have to leave my bed and put some pants on, it counts as work

the story of how lee became a star goes a little like this: pon is warming up to go do his dance performance but twists his ankle five minutes before call time and it's a disaster. the house is packed, topten is home with the flu and someone needs to step up. lee basically jumps up and down going “me, me, me!” and, literally out of options, benz says “you know what? fuck it. go for it.” no one knows quite what to expect but after a mad scramble to steal booty shorts from pon and butcher one of garfield’s fur coats, lee gags everyone with a drag race finale worthy lipsync performance of lisa’s money. the second he exits the stage pop is on him, asking him if he can do the same in heels.

mistress poppy’s shot special: she will put a sugarcane straw in your mouth and tell you to hold it between your teeth. then she will bend you over and spank your ass. if the straw remains uncracked, you get your free shot. initially benz was horrified by this because free booze? in this economy? not very capitalism, not mindful at all. but then pop demonstrated his ass slapping skills on benz and he quickly changed his mind. (he also didn’t sit down for three days but that's neither here nor there.)

for charlie’s 21st birthday, babe climbed on the bartop and went full coyote ugly, doing unspeakable things with a soda gun. it was the first and last time he performed like that. michael almost killed him for defiling his bar.

benz would actually pay onlyoneof to come do libido instead of stealing the choreo. no shade.

[indecenthoney]

"If The Walls Could Moan..."

--------------------------------------

I've always been quite respectful of my roommates and their privacy, but something has been eating at me this entire time. I may not have mentioned how thin our walls are. It is honestly my mistake because any sort of music or porn that I play would relayed to my earphones. I just never really knew how to bring up the sounds she makes when she masturbayes. Sometimes she'd even step out of her room like nothing had happened. And I'm just there bright as a tomato. Not to mention how audible her little roleplays are. It's starting to take a toll on me. I thought that this would be something I had to talk to her about before I do something I regret.

"Hey... Welcome home... Someone looks pissed... Rough day? Yeah..? Wanna talk about it? Mm alright... Well I made us dinner... Oh? You're going to turn in early for the night? A-actually I just wanted to... talk about something... Well you see... I wanted to talk about the... Well... uhm... there was something I forgot to mention about the... party next month... Yeah... you're going righ? Hahahah... Right right we promised we'd go together... Me? Weird? Nonono I'm just a little under the weather... Alright... Y-yeah sleep well! Fuck... and she’s gone..."

I sat there helplessly as the room fills with her moans. She must've been really stressed because she was louder than usual. I couldn't help but follow along. Thoughts of her filled my head. I wondered how my teeth would feel on the very flesh I called a friend. The sinful deeds I relish as I partake in her body. A little poetic but really all I want to do right now is fuck her senseless. I wanted her to beg and whimper as I bent her over her desk. I wanted to stetch out her little holes until it formed to the shape of my cock. My perfect little play thi-

"Oh fuck... Hey... Ahahaha... I thought you were sleeping... Oh just gonna grab a water? Yeah yeah... Go right ahead... Oh nothing just meditating... o-oh yeah I've been meditating for a while now... You know just tryna find myself spiritually? Hahaha... Yeah good night!"

I almost got fucking caught! In result, I waddled off to bed trying my best to ignore my boner. It was hell. She kept going and going. I couldn't remember the times I edged myself. I felt like the moment I cum, I'll be a different person. I wouldn't know what I'd do with myeelf if I acted on my insticts. That night I couldn't sleep a wink. Even after she was done, my boner kept me up all night.

"Hey... I look shit...? Yeah... I couldn't really... sleep well... I don't think I could go for a coffee right now... Might collapse at any moment... Mmph... I'm fine..."

My head down into my bent arms. My eyes wide open as I see her wiggle her ass making breakfast. It wasn't an unfamiliar sight but beneath her panties shined a little gem. A butt plug. I knew she was horny but I never really expected her to like anal. I could barely think after seeing that. I was slowly starting to lose consciousness but somehow found my way behind her. Unable to carry myself I leaned up against her. My hard cock pressed against her ass. Breathing down her neck as I hugged her waist.

"Sorry... I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing myself... Hahah... F-fuck... Shhh it's okay... I'll be gentle... I promise... Just a little bit I promise... You say that... but you've been fucking yourself stupid all night... I couldn't get any sleep cause of you... Why so red? You should be proud... All those pretty little moans... Every single time you asked "Daddy" to give you permission to cum... Oh yeah... I heard every single line... It's like you wanted me to hear you... and here you are... walking around in the middle afternoon with your ass plugged up... How could I not wanna fuck you senseless?"

Keeping her still, my hands made their way down her hips pulling away at her panties. Not minding her protest. I pressed her down against the counter as I slowly tease her ass with her own plug. Amazed at how easily she takes it all in; I pressed my cock against the opening of her ass. How tempting it was to shove it all in. How quickly she quieted down as the tip entered her. In and out. Teasing her. Stretching her. And finally, her giving in; unable to budge. Fucking her senseless with my arm wrapped around her pretty little throat. Moaning in ecstasy as I pound her ass. On the brink of climax, I pulled her in cumming in the deepest part of her to leave my mark. Her legs shook with such violence causing her to drop on the floor. I wasn't satisfied. My fist clenched around her hair guiding her head along the length of my cock. I wasn't quite sure what happened next. I think the exhaustion finally caught up to me. Later waking up on the couch.

"Fuck me... My head hurts... What happpened? I collpased? Shit... You're flushed... Did something happen? Nothing? I see... Thanks for taking care of me then... I must've been heavy hahaha... Well I'm going to try and get some rest in my room..."

On my way back to my room, I started to remember everything I'd done to her. I quickly looked back. Cum dripping down her thigh. A happy, jovial kick to her step. My pants growing tight knowing Ill be visiting her more often to help her out. What are roommates for?

----------------------------------

Lovingly,

Honey

[darlingpoppet]

Fave Fics of 2023!

A list of some of my favorite fics I read in 2023, though note not all of them are from this year. I feel like I didn’t get to do as much reading as I would’ve liked but I guess at least I was still able to put together a decent list! This isn’t a ranking, I listed everything in alphabetical order.

a bit of earth by @elemmacil (patrochilles)

Character study of Hadesgame Achilles & his time in the house of hades, pre-canon. Also, Zagreus takes care of a plant & it’s so wholesome. Lovely, atmospheric, and fueled by vibes, I adore the secret garden inspiration which slots into the hadesgame-verse sooo perfectly. This is great for the sad girlies like me who recently re-watched the movie from the 90s and thought “what if the whole movie was just us watching lord craven being a sad, pining dilf the whole time?” *clicks tongue* noice.

A Reasonable Explanation by stygius (pza)

I already read On The Ropes by red_smear last year so it doesn’t get to be on this list but I did go into 2023 continuing to seek out some of the “old classics” for this ship (yanno how reading fics that were published before joining the fandom sometimes feels like consuming media that existed before you were born? lol) this one is fun for the subversion on the “relaying messages” trope and taking god worshipping to literal (sexyy) extremes… I think if you wanted a good pza introductory fic this would be a good place to start!

Debased by youcouldbeagod (patrochilles)

Found this on a whim one day while clicking through the tags, as it is pretty much the only dedicated Troilus & Cressida Patrochilles fic on AO3 and it is ＢＲＩＬＬＩＡＮＴ！ The story is simply that Thersites stumbles upon Achilles & Patroclus having sex in their tent and he provides his usual witty and scathing commentary throughout. It truly reads like Shakespeare in prose form, I could easily imagine it being staged, it’s like a deleted scene from the play! The ending is also pitch perfect and still lives in my head rent-free. If you’re familiar with Shakespeare’s version of the characters definitely give it a read.

isn’t it romantic by infinitesle (dillydallybutterfly) (pza)

I was going to recommend a patrochilles fic by infinitesle that I love which is you are the currents that are pulling me onward but I’m pretty sure I read it in 2022 so it doesn’t count, sadge. So instead I’ll recommend another lovely morsel, a pza fic set in the jazz age au that a bunch of us in the pza channel of the hades lounge discord collectively came up with. Idk this might be a “you had to be there” kind of story but I think it still paints a pretty picture and if it inspires anyone else to contribute to the AU I wouldn’t complain. I’ll make my own proper contribution eventually, mark my words!

not the desperate type by @baejax-the-great (patrochilles, side hector/patroclus)

Baejax is well-known for their long fics which are all bangers ofc but personally my favorite piece of theirs this year was actually this oneshot in which Patroclus is engaged to Hector and then cheats on him with his ex, Achilles. They get caught in the act and the results are… predictable, lol. I love that it hews close to the tone of the Iliad where it’s no good/bad guys, just flawed humans making flawed choices and the AITA version of this story would totally be given an Everyone Sucks Here verdict, I’m sure. I’m STILL thinking about the ending even months & months later. Oh and of course, the sex is chef’s kiss!

One Night Of Chaos by Luddleston (pza)

This was technically a Dec 2022 read but I’m making an exception for it because I feel like it’s the flavor of pza I had been craving all along when I was reading through some of the older classics for this ship and it was key in helping fuel the inspiration for my own pza fics this year. There’s just something about Zag being invited into Patrochilles’ little world to watch their charming rapport with one another & being disgustingly in love that’s PEAK CONTENT for me and I loved this spin where he gets to meet them while they’re still alive, pre-heartbreak. Basically everything about it is my personal ur-pza text so if you’ve liked any of my own pza I’m sure you would like this one too. The sequel is also fun and was properly a 2023 read for me so I’ll mention it too haha.

Presentation by @sonderlivra (eruri)

Judging by the time stamp of my comment, I started my 2023 off right by reading this fic by one of my all-time favorite eruri authors! This is an omegaverse fic with a twist, it is well-written, hilarious, and had me guessing up until the very end. I would literally recommend anything this author writes (including the asscreed fics she & other beloved friend @zorthania have been writing this year… I don’t go here but these are my blorbo in-laws and I care them uwu)

sacramentum by fresco_k (eruri)

I didn’t take the time to read many other eruri fics this year unfortunately but I did get to beta some fics for this year’s eruri matchmaking event and this was one of them: a gladiator AU set in Ancient Rome and it was so serendipitous that I got to help with something so close to my current hyperfixation! The premise is very intriguing and it’s off to a lovely start… not to mention the author is a sweetie who knows & has a lot of passion for the time period… so check it out!

the slow mending by meikuree (pikuhan)

I finally got to dip my toes into some pikuhan fics this year and luckily my first one was a real banger! This was such a lovely little canon-compliant Hanji character study along with an exploration of their relationship with Pieck representing the two sides coming together and it was so beautifully written. It feels like the perfect introductory fic for the ship just in general because it really highlights everything that’s attractive about it! Love it!

tight fit by naxtique (zagchilles)

naxtique’s fics pretty much all scratch that itch for hadesgame dead dove of the dub/non-con variety, oftentimes laced with angst. Their particular flavor of Zagchilles with slave-to-his-passion, guilt-stricken Achilles is so compelling it always makes me stare at the wall thinking about it. And this is my favorite one, in which Achilles gets sex-pollen’d and ends up in a compromising position with Zagreus. Another one where the ending haunts my dreams (in a good way). Not for everyone obviously but if this sort of thing is up your alley, it’s great.

you’re a walking disaster, and yet— by @johaerys-writes (patrochilles)

Another patrochilles GOAT well-known for their serial longfics, and this year I’ve been enjoying their modern AU Patrochilles where the two of them grow up together in rural Greece. This one has probably my favorite ever synthesis of takes on Achilles’ character I’ve read so far—brilliant, autistic, and gender fluid. It’s definitely an extreme slow burn and gets pretty angsty & messy at times but it’s also devastatingly realistic & relatable and speaks to me a whole lot :> currently ongoing, definitely worth diving into!

[pillarsalt]

My personal approach for situations like yours with your friend is to act very confused and unaware. Like acting shocked at his name, and then continuing to act super confused and horrified but in a way that makes you seem just out of the loop. That being said, that's kind of non confrontational, and I really respect you for having the difficult conversation.

Oh yes I've used the feigned ignorance technique before, especially with nonbinary women friends (and now I've just realized that over the years I've had more female friends who started to pretend they're not women than ones who haven't, that's fucking depressing lol.) Sometimes with the more empathetic individuals, they will genuinely consider what you're asking and you can actually see the wheels turning (I remember this happening with a college friend NB woman, someone else made a comparison between men identifying as women and rachel dolezal, she said "that seems wrong to me but... I can't really say why.") Unfortunately, trans activism has instilled an easy way to shed any doubt that creeps into the minds of its devotees: you can't think that because it's internalized transphobia, it's TERF rhetoric, that thought is bad and you need to give yourself 100 lashes and listen to transwomen instead. So it's very difficult to get someone who fully buys into this ideology to honestly and critically reflect on it. It's not impossible, but it's very difficult.

We'll see, I'm definitely going to question the name first and foremost, establish that I think it's weird as fuck if he deliberately wants everyone who learns his name to immediately associate him with blowjobs. That honestly gives me the most apprehension because I've never seen or heard him say anything porn-brained, and it makes me wonder how well I really know the kind of person he is, or how much the usual internet cesspools have melted his brain. But I want to give him the benefit of the doubt at least until I can ask him wtf he's thinking.

The book I'm halfway through has put the brakes on my guns a-blazin plan to say my piece all at once though. It's tough because I have the feeling I might only have one chance to relay my position, but just simply delivering a message is not an effective way to have someone hear and seriously consider your point of view. It may have to be more long-term and subtle, not pretending to be ignorant but asking questions that he'll have to really self-reflect on to answer honestly.

I'm hoping that I've proven myself to be someone who cares about her friends and wants the best for everyone, and that he'll see I'm not trying to attack him. If in the end we can say "we have a fundamental ideological disagreement but won't let it come between our camaraderie", that would be actually ideal to me. His nonbinary longterm girlfriend is a STAUNCH genderist though, so the diplomatic effort may all be for naught. I know you are all probably wondering why I'm so invested in this man; besides the fact he's my friend, he is the same age as and reminds me so much of my little brother, and I have this protective instinct about him. About all my friends really. Man it will really suck to lose them. This probably sounds dramatic but I've been thinking about doing my own private goodbye tour with each of them individually, like one last nice peaceful hangout sesh each before everything blows up.

Anyway I need to stop pacing in circles about this for now. Thanks for the nice ask anon <3